and sorry for the grammar mistakes

anonymous asked:

☕️ Tbh, I'm sick of the whole daddy thing when people start talking about Namjoon. I'm tired of people viewing him as a dom who wouldn't respect his partner... Joon seems like a really soft person and I don't think that all those comments do him justice. Sure he can be a dom but not to that extreme. It would be better if the fans didn't shove their kinks to idols. (sorry for my english, I'm still learning)

you guys don’t have to apologize for your english its perfectly fine! i know some people that have learned english all their lives and they still get the simplest grammar mistakes wrong (like switching up then and than) so you’re perfectly fine! 

anyways yes i agree 100% like i hate the daddy kink in general and the fact that many people put that on namjoon especially is really gross imo like i get it, its a kink to you but it can actually hurt namjoon if you think about it. like i’m sure he knows what the daddy kink is and maybe he doesn’t like that to be tagged onto his image you know? 

send me a ☕️ and an opinion (popular or unpopular) and i’ll say whether i agree or disagree

6

This history, uh… Starts in Columbus, Ohio. And, uh… There was few years ago, and, that was before Josh and I were able to make money playing music. And, uh, I called him up and I said “Hey Josh, you wanna come over to my rental house and watch the GRAMMYs?”, and he said “Yeah, who’s hanging in there?”, I said “A couple of my roommates, just coming to watch the GRAMMYs with us”, and, uh, as we were watching we noticed that every single one of us was in our underwear… And, seriously, Josh turned to me and we were no one at that time, he turned to me and he said “You know, if we ever go to the GRAMMYs, if we ever win a GRAMMY, we should receive it just like this”.

What is MADD?

• What Maladaptive Daydreaming is not:

- Hallucinations.

- A voluntary thing that’s easy to get it over with.

- Laziness.

- Dreaming while sleeping. (daydreaming not dreaming.)

- Delusions.

- something that everyone has. (aka Normal Daydreaming™)

• What Maladaptive Daydreaming actually means:

- Constant daydreaming for hours until it interferes your life involuntarily (even though it can start as a voluntary thing)

- having a lot of difficulty in fulfilling simply daily tasks (like eating, showering, sleeping) because of the urge of daydreaming.

- do facial expressions, body movement, muttering and/or whispering, legs shaking, finger tapping, walking and/or running around the area as you get too involved in your daydreams. (Which happens so frequently, especially in public, so we usually try to hide it and fail).

- being self aware of the fact that your daydreams are JUST daydreams, not reality.

- something very hard to get out of. (but most of the time we don’t want it to dissapear).

(feel free to add more!)

“Lydia, you’re so smart I could kiss you right now”

Do you know what i love about this scene? 

I love that Stiles is still the only one who knows how smart Lydia is. He keeps saying it to her and making sure she knows. But he’s way more confident with her than he used to. And not only he says she’s smart, but he also proves his enthusiasm with the “i could kiss you right now”. 

You can see it takes Lydia off guard and she doesn’t laugh or say thank you or anything. She still doesn’t want Stiles to know how much she loves him, so she just says “do now kiss me”.

But Stiles do it. He kisses her on her cheek. He doesn’t care she told her not to do it. He’s way too excited. He’s just so proud of Lydia that he has to kiss her. He looks like a 8 years old boy who has been told not to play with that toy because he has to do his homework. But he doesn’t care and he goes for it. “I did it anyways”

But what really killed me was Lydia’s face when he kisses her. It’s the first time he does something like that. Yes, he has told her how smart she is. He has even told her how beutiful she is. But she didn’t expect him to kiss her. And she’s in shock, procesing what has just happened. And then she realises how much she cares about him. How many things she’s been through and the way Stiles was always there. She realises how much she loves him. 

And she smiles. She smiles because he told her she’s smart. She smiles because he kissed her. She smiles because she has no clue how she can be in love with such a dork. But she is. And she doesn’t regret it. 

“Princess-Cut”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky sustains an injury because of a punk-ass kid, and you swoop in to do something about it.

A/N: I quickly wrote this on my phone while my dad drove us to the theater, so I’m sorry for the grammar mistakes. We’re going to watch “Arrival”, and I’m so excited! Also happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends! -j xx

“MOVE!”

People scatter like scared pigeons as you sprint through the hospital doors. This is impressive, considering that you’re in a tight pencil skirt and brand new red stilettos.

You skid to clean stop, slightly knocking the wind out of yourself. When you blink to, you notice you’ve captured the attention of the front desk nurses and a group of fraternity brothers.

Still, that doesn’t stop you from loudly smacking the counter. “Where is Bucky Barnes?” you ask, trying your best to keep calm.

“Mr. Barnes is -”

“(Y/N)!” a familiar voice calls out. Tony’s presence normally doesn’t evoke any strong emotions, but when the leader of the Avengers pulls you into a comforting hug, you can’t help but tear up.

Today was supposed to be a normal day without any surprises. You were bidding a client goodbye when Tony called; he and Bucky were at a hospital right outside of the city. Some kid had thought it would be funny to stick a Swiss Army Knife into deeply Bucky’s flesh arm.

“Aww, don’t cry. It’d take a lot more to kill Frosty,” Tony lightheartedly jokes. “He’s okay. You know, regenerative healing power. The police brought him here as a safety net, but Bucky doesn’t want to press charges. And Bucky didn’t call you because he didn’t want to worry you.”

"I know, but I’m - Oh my God.” Words get caught in your throat when your eyes catches Bucky walking down the hallway towards you.

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autumnholicpau  asked:

Ok but at the ep 10 when we see the pics and videod of the party, which mobile are those from? I thought it was Viktor's bc he was the narrator of that exact episode but them i thought it could be his or chris's one. I mean, the picture of the background when he's swiching between apps to show us something is a picture of Viktor and Chris. Anyway, i still think it was Viktor's so is he who's watching the pics and sees twice those he has dancing with Yuuri

Hi there! Sorry for replying a little bit late, I had a busy morning. Also sorry in advance if I make any grammar mistake since english isn’t my first language. Okay now I’ll answer to your question.

I actually never paid much attention to it, but I just rewatched that glorious sequence of pictures and I think we see them from three different phones: Viktor’s, Chris’ and Yuri’s.

First they show us a lockscreen with a picture of Makkachin as the background, so obviously that phone’s of Viktor.

We also see that he has only 5 pictures of drunk Yuuri and a folder full of Makkachin’s pictures (jfc there are more than 1k pics there, I love this man)

So that’s definitely Viktor’s phone, no doubts there.

But then we see another screen that has a different background, and this time it’s of Chris and Viktor in the last GPF.

It’s true that it can be confusing at first because you may think this phone is Viktor’s, but if you look at the photo Chris is more focused and, as we just saw, Viktor had another background on his phone.
(Also I didn’t show the apps from Viktor’s phone but they are in different order than in this phone screen and even their battery charge are different, the amount of details on this show amaze me). Okay, so that is surely Chris’ phone.

And then we see another phone screen. This one also has another background and different battery charge, but you can also see that some apps are written in russian, meaning that this must be Yuri’s phone since it can’t be Viktor’s.

(ALSO I SAW THAT THE TIME CHANGED FROM 23:39 TO 23:40 AND I CHECKED IT AND A FUCKING MINUTE PASSES BETWEEN THE FIRST PICTURE THAT THEY SHOW US AND THE LAST ONE FROM CHRIS’ PHONE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THEY DON’T LET ANYTHING SLIP DO THEY)

And here we can also see that the phone is in russian and  oh  my  god  I just realised that Yuri has ALL (33!) of the picture’s of that night, especially the ones of Yuuri doing pole dancing and the ones where his two dads are dancing together and flirting with each other I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

The only thing that’s missing here is Phichit, if he had been there we would have had so many more pictures *prays for Yuuri to get drunk again this year*

The Kissing Game: Part 1

Tsukishima glared at the text that he received from the oh-great-grand-king. Kissing Game? This sounded absolutely ridiculous.

He kept that thought in his mind as he entered the gym. Tsukishima easily spotted Kageyama off to one end of the court practicing his serves. Kissing Kageyama seemed out of the question, but the image of him doing it persisted in his mind. 

To be honest, Tsukishima hated losing.

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Somebody Else Pt 1

Pt 2

Genre: Smut, Angst, college AU 

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x Taehyung

Summary:  You had met Jungkook on a summer day at the age of 10,  at 12 you became best friends,  at 14 you had your first kiss,  at 15 you fell in love and at 16 you made love. You’ve never really knew what heartbreak was until at the age of 18 he broke your heart.

Inspired by Somebody else by the 1975. 

A/N: Sorry if i have grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.



You had met Jungkook on a summer day at the age of 10 when a moving truck parked down at the house next door, from which a small boy with rabbit teeth and black hair came down. Your mother told you to help the neighbors pick up the boxes from the truck while she would welcome the new neighbors. You had never been a very conversational person so when your mother ordered you to help your neighbors you could not help grumbling. You left your house and approached the moving truck where the black haired kid was struggling to lift a large box, when he noticed your presence he left the box on the floor and looked a little surprised by the sudden appearance of a new face in front of him.

“Emm… hello, I’m the next door neighbor, do you need some help with that?” You said pointing to the box that was now on the floor. The boy smiled broadly, showing his rabbit’s teeth and exclaimed; “Yes please!” You approached him and together carried the box to the door of his house. “I’m Jungkook by the way” he said.

“I’m Y/N” you answer with a little grin.

From that day on you began to spend more time together and became friends really fast but it was not until the age of 12 that you became best friends after your first crush broke your heart and went with another girl, Jungkook was so annoyed that made the other kid trip on purpose at school making him loose a tooth, the principal had to call Jungkook’s parents and he was grounded for a week without being able to see you, a week that became eternally long but worth it.

At 14 you had your first kiss, it was at a party playing spin the bottle, never in a thousand years it had crossed your mind to give a kiss to your best friend, sure … he was cute, but he was your friend, it was just something forbidden to think. It was your turn to turn the bottle and when it stopped, pointing at the young man with black hair, your blood froze. No no no! This could not be happening, but Jungkook thought otherwise, he slowly came up to you putting his right hand on your cheek and gave you a small but warm kiss on your lips.

From that night everything started falling in its place, your friendship was evolving into something more, into something real; dates, little kisses, holding hands and cuddling.

At 15 you fell in love declaring your love under the stars. You had decided to spend the holidays in the Jeon’s summer house together with your family and his parents, a little bored of the conversation of the elders you and Jungkook excused yourselves and went outside to see the stars. His house was on the beach and Jungkook loved the ocean so he did not miss an opportunity to crawl you with him into the water.

You stood waist deep in the ocean at 11:00pm in nothing but your undies and bra, Jungkook was in nothing but his boxers. You asked him to kiss you and he smiled simply moving closer and kissing you, he didn’t hesitate to add tongue. After a few moments you both pulled away. In that night in the shelter of his arms, and the starts as your witness he said the words you have been dying to hear ever since he first kissed you.

“I love you Y/N”. You tried not to smile too much so you didn’t look like a weirdo but you were too happy to hide it, you put your hands in his shoulders and kissed him harder than ever. “I love you too Jungkook”.

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phanniecorn  asked:

Hi Jo!So I'm super excited for the next ep, I'm hoping that it'll fix all of the mistakes that were made in 2x07. until that, let me sneak in a random question into your ask box: do you think malec call each other nicknames/pet names?

Hi Nitsa! Same here, I’m excited and I hope my internet here is strong enough to sustain my livestream~

I mean, we all know Magnus uses pet names with like, everybody. Biscuit here, darling there, sweetheart over at the back. So Alec isn’t surprised when he’s fumbling around the kitchen and Magnus shows up, one hand combing through bed hair and another muffling a yawn and mumbles out “what’s cooking, pumpkin?” As much as Alec thinks that’s endearing, he hates that he has to suppress the idea that he has used the nickname on one too many lovers. So the next time they’re kissing in bed; hands under each other’s shirts, long legs tangled in an organised mess and Alec slides his fingers along Magnus’ ribcage just right, tearing a breathless “Alexander” out of him, Alec steels himself. 

“I love it when you call me that,” Alec pauses, a few seconds longer, betraying the casual tone of his voice. And Magnus is astute, even when he’s seconds away from dragging Alec down towards him because his lips are not where they should be, and he drags out, voice thick as honey, “Of course, my Alexander”, with a steady gaze. And Alec knows that Magnus gets it, and he finally seals Magnus’ lips with his.

-

Alec’s awkward with nicknames. Now that he’s thinking about it, he realises that the only one whom he calls with a nickname is Izzy and doesn’t everyone call her that? Well, except Magnus; and now that he’s thinking of him, he’s troubled over whether Magnus would like to have that: a pet name. Darling? Too common, Magnus practically calls everybody that. Baby? No way, he’d rather die than have to call someone that. Mags? Alec makes a face. 

“What’s with that face? Wait, don’t tell me Izzy made this,” Jace glares at the spoonful of stew he was about to put into his mouth and his eyes dart between Alec and the pot in between them. Alec’s confused for a moment but he shakes his head and puts his spoon down, to which Jace sighs in relief and shoves the spoon into his mouth. 

“Jace, what did you call your…girlfriends? I mean, did you call each other using pet names? Does it come naturally? Like, how do you suddenly go from calling someone by name to calling them by something else? What’s that something else? How-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Slow it down, bud. Are you talking about things like babe, princess or things like that?” Alec nods solemnly at the question and Jace’s confusion suddenly turns to smugness. He was about to make a jab at that but Alec shook his head and Jace dropped it out of kindness from seeing his parabatai so troubled. He merely shrugs and offers, “Don’t think too much about it; it’s gonna come out forced if you overthink it, and yes, I can totally see you overthinking right now so don’t even deny it, I know you Alec,” Alec huffs but he takes the advice to heart and tries not to wince when he has to get his boyfriend’s attention and has to settle for “Magnus”. 

And when it finally happens, he just has to mess it up, or so he thinks, when he picks up a phone call mid-mission and in his distraction, he answers with, “Hi love, what’s up,” after which there’s a silence that’s a beat too long and Alec realises that he’s fucked up because he hasn’t even said the three words and this order is totally wrong and oh god, Magnus doesn’t feel the same yet, does he? He’s this close to flinging his phone to the furthest end of the world when Magnus clears his throat and replies, voice a little unsteady, “Well, Alexander, I love you too, if that’s what you were trying to say,” and Alec is amazed by how Magnus always knows and never in his life had he wanted to be a warlock so badly just so he could portal to right where Magnus was and kiss the stars out of him.

I have way too many headcanons for this ship, so I tough that i could write this one here.. 

Baze is really organised, I mean like really REALLY organised whit all of his and Chirruts gear and what anything they carry along. Like rations, clothes and other nick knacks.

He hates it if anyone else other than the two of them touch any of their things and messes up the order where anything in their bags is, because it means that it’s a lot harder for Chirrut to find anything he might need.

They don’t carry along too much, they do not need anything extra in their travels and anything extra feels waist-full, just extra weight to carry along. But still there’s couple of little trinkets that Baze has collected to him self because they remind him of Chirrut. 

He is slightly embarrassed by his small collection of  long leather straps that Chirrut had once put on his hair. Baze really doesn’t wan’t Chirrut ever to find out that he carries them along. Cirrut definitely knows it and finds it all really endearing.

Ok, have a seat, this is gonna take a while. I’ll try to be brief. I’m sorry but I’m salty af, I couldn’t keep this to myself even though I tried.

As you can tell by my bio and my headcanons, and my posts, reblogs and so on, my OTP is byeler. Wihich means I strongly believe Will Byers is gay. But, hey! This is not nsfw content; it just means I believe he wants to hold another boy’s hands, and hey! This is totally fine, in case no one has told you.

I’ve read in the past few days a couple of mean comments over what I believe about Will Byers’ sexuality, None of them were directly for me, actually one of those were an answer to another person’s post, but this is bothering me so much, I couldn’t just look away from this.

Let’s do it by parts. First of all, Will had an awful life so far and he’s only 12, I know, right???!!! But this is not a fucking reason for him not to be gay. Because being gay is not a fucking problem, it’s not something gross, it’s not something disgusting. Being gay is the same thing as being hetero. Yeah, he would suffer homophobia, but let’s talk about that later this post.

Second, no, he’s not too young to “decide” (???????) whether he’s gay or not: by saying this, you’re taking as reality that the “normal” is being hetero, and being gay is a choice, it’s not a fucking choice, not even close. We are born like this, and saying this you’re accepting a therapy could make us hetero by choice again as well. No. And the last argument I’m using here: why any of you (people that are making Will’s sexuality something huge) has said “Isn’t Eleven too young to decide if she likes boys or girls”? I’m not putting into question if the kiss between her and Mike was right or wrong, this is not my point, in fact, I think it was right by the flow of the story. What I’m trying to say is: why hetero kids don’t have their sexuality seen as inauthentic? Why people say it’s too early when it comes to queer people, queer children?

And now, let’s talk about homophobia. I received an answer in a post that I made about Will facing homophobia and being disgusted with himself, but only when he’s with Mike, he realizes he has never felt something so right in his life. This answer said something like “it always comes to homophobia around here”. Yeah, it does. I’m having this headcanon of Will being gay truly knowing he will struggle with homophobia. How am I supposed to pretend he’s not going to face it? I could make a poll to know if any homosexual person here hasn’t suffered with it, but I already see that when I read someone complaining about making a 12 years-old boy gay. “Why does he have to be gay?” I’ll follow up by saying: Why not? Homophobia has become something unavoidable, so, yeah, I want him to pass through this, to show that queer kiddos can pass through this as well, even though it happens in the 80′s, and it’s hard as fuck, I wish I could see Will being sassy dealing with this.

Dear queer kid, I see you. I see the way you’re trying to pretend to be what your parents say it’s normal, I see the way you zap through the channels trying to find someone just like you on TV, and you hate movies like ‘Little Manhattan’, because you’re not like them, you’ll never be. I see you because I was once a queer kid too, I was born like this, and nothing will ever change me, or you.

These children that struggle with being sinful, wrong: They are the reason I believe in Will Byers’ homosexuality, because there’s nothing wrong if you’re dividing your cookies with a same gender person as you and you feel like holding this person’s hand. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. And that’s the first step to accept that there are children out there that since the day they were born, they don’t feel comfortable with the gender they were born with. There are children out there that don’t want to kiss or hold hands with other people at all. And y’all should just get over it.

(Imagine if I told you I have this headcanon Barb Holland is Assexual just like me. You’d probably freak out.)

Stay safe. Love you all.

Somebody Else Pt 4

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 5

Genre: Smut, Angst, college AU

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x Taehyung

Summary: You had met Jungkook on a summer day at the age of 10,  at 12 you became best friends,  at 14 you had your first kiss,  at 15 you fell in love and at 16 you made love. You’ve never really knew what heartbreak was until at the age of 18 he broke your heart.

Inspired by Somebody else by the 1975.

A/N: Sorry if i have grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.

I wasn’t gonna post this today but here it is :)


You didn’t hear his almost inaudible whisper as he stroked your hair, hugging you closer to him “What am I going to do with you? You make me crazy”. You looked up to him, his strands of blonde hair matted in sweat pushed back. “That was amazing” you whispered.

“I know right? I was made for this” he cockily grinned. “Oh my god you are such a tease” you hit his chest and he grabs your hands as he places his finger against your lips. ”But I know you love it”. He says before he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth.


A week went by and all you could think about was Taehyung, his kisses, his very touch, his beautiful laughter, his silly way of being… he was the calm after the storm. But you couldn’t stop Jungkook’s name from crossing your mind at least once a day. Since the fight he had sent you dozens of texts, he even called you. But you had ignored each one of them. You had decided with Taehyung that you would keep your “relationship” secret for a while until you were ready to tell Jungkook. You really didn’t know what to tell Jungkook; “I like one of your best friends and I want to try to have a relationship with him?” You knew that wouldn’t work, you knew that the moment you would see Jungkook, the name Taehyung would disappear from your head. You knew that the moment you tried to leave Jungkook he would follow you and absorb you again, so strong was your attachment to him, so strong the name of Jeon Jungkook was buried in your heart.

A nocked sounded at your front door and you hurried to get out of the couch to open it,

You looked through the peephole of the door to meet a young man with blond hair, you smiled to yourself before opening the door with a smile on your face. “What are you doing here?” You asked.

Taehyung stood in front of the now open door with his characteristic grin. “I just wanted to see you” he replied; entering to your house with a long step to shorten the distance of your bodies. He cupped your cheeks in both of his hands and gently pressed his pink lips against yours. A feeling of calmness running through you right away; It was always like that with Taehyung, he managed to generate that effect in people; Tranquility.

You closed the door by pushing him against it, melting in the kiss deeper. If you were thinking about Jungkook just moments ago; that name was now in the depths of your head.

Taehyung was the first to separate his lips for air. “someone is anxious?” He chuckled softly. “Yah! You appeared out of nowhere in my apartment” you said blushing. "Speaking of which, what are you doing here seriously?”

“You didn’t want to see me?” He asked frowning, pretending to be hurt. “Firstly I really wanted to see you and … secondly there’s a party at Jackson’s tomorrow, you should go …” he said as he walked towards the sofa to sit on.

“Uh oh Jungkook will surely be there Tae, I’m not ready yet” Saying the name of your ex aloud still was hard and more with the man who was in front of you at the moment.

“Listen… I know Jungkook will be there, but this is an opportunity to show him that you are more than an object with which he can play and then throw away.” He stopped and then continued. “I’m not telling you to tell Jungkook about … our relationship” The last word came out in a sigh, the way he said it made you feel bad, you knew that Tae wanted to be with you officially, wanted to show everyone how happy he could make you, but it was not yet the time when Jungkook still fluttered in your mind. “Just go, take Minah with you, have some fun,” He finished smiling, giving you security.

“You’re right, I could have some fun after all…” you agreed with Taehyung that leaving your house wouldn’t do you so bad, you could always leave the party if you felt uncomfortable. “If you want to leave just send me a text and we’ll leave together, what do you think?” He said in a seductive voice, intending to continue what had happened a few minutes ago between you two.

That ended up convincing you; you had Minah and Tae if something went wrong. Maybe you wouldn’t even see Jungkook with the number of people who used to attend the parties of Jackson.

The reality was that Taehyung was everything you wanted to have after Jungkook broke up with you, someone who was there for you, who would listen to you, who would talk to you, distract you from the horrible thoughts that inhabited your mind. Since the black-haired young man left you, the only thing you could think of was that you weren’t good enough, beautiful enough or intelligent enough and that’s why he left you. You couldn’t help thinking that there was something wrong with you, that you had done something mistakenly, you still didn’t understand very well how fate had made you cross with a person as wonderful as Kim Taehyung, and how he had accepted you with his arms open even knowing how broken you were. There was more of Kim Taehyung than you knew.

Tae’s deep voice brought you back to the real world. “What are you thinking?” He asked and you looked at him in surprise. The question shocked you a little, pushing the thought to the back of your mind, hiding them, with your best smile you answered; “I was just thinking about what to wear tomorrow,” you lied.

“Ah, I do not care what you wear as long as you take it off for me.” He grinned and winked at you as you rolled your eyes at the comment but you couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you thinking about impure things already? What a slutty woman.”

“YAH! What are you saying!? You’re the one who was talking about taking off my clothes!” You replied by throwing yourself to him and hitting him on the chest with both hands.

Suddenly he grabbed you gently but strongly enough for you to not be able to move and turned you around, locking you on the couch with his legs “Or … you can take off your clothes now, I wouldn’t mind,” he said before kissing you roughly.

Here we go again.


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Sweet Dreams

A little thing I wanted to write for @gunnslaughter and their AMAZING comic and artwork. Hoo boy here we go. If I have grammar mistakes please forgive me and sorry if I can’t get Hanzo’s character right omg

It’s another night when Hanzo wakes up in a cold sweat, heartbeat hammering in his chest and his dragons already out and ready to defend him from any threat. There’s moonlight filtering through a crack in the window, casting shadows across the room with shapes and sizes that do not scare him. He curses himself for these night terrors though, not liking any of these dreams that plague him but who doesn’t?

His body relaxes, his tense muscles unwinding and a hand reaching to the other side of the bed for the one source of comfort for such things. To help chase away the bad dreams even though he chastises himself that’s he’s over thirty and needs no such thing. Hanzo’s hand is already poised over where he knows where Jesse lays, probably snoring away but willing to get up for him any time any day.

Except there’s nobody there. He peeks an eye to the side just to see a brown hat resting on the sheets.

Hanzo bolts upright, a shout already rising up his throat because it all comes back to him. The fight, the darkness, waking up to realize that his lover isn’t there with him. That Jesse lays on a bed with machines and wires with Angela looking over him day and night for any signs of changes. The shout dies out into a pitiful groan, the hat taken and placed on his chest. Hanzo then takes deep breaths, running a hand down his face. He needs to calm down, needs to steady his fluttering heart because that’s what Jesse would coax him to do when this happens but he’s alone right now.

Hanzo is all alone and that scares him.

He’s so tired. Tired of all this waiting. Tired of waking up and almost in tears when he realizes it’s another day without Jesse fucking McCree in his life. Tired of playing this song and dance of getting his hopes up before they are crushed by the end of the day only to start up when the sun rises. An urge pulls him from the bed, the thought of seeing Jesse suddenly a priority.

The bowman is already out of his room, bare feet padding down the corridors to a destination he knows well before he realizes what he is doing. His dragons follow, worried and anxious as he is. Jesse’s hat is clutched in his fingers, the cherished item still smelling of the cowboy that helps soothe Hanzo during the worst nights.

It’s quiet in the base, the silence of the late hours appreciated but Hanzo’s mind is racing, shouting and spewing questions with no answers. As he passes Hana’s door he hears the Korean gamer shouting, albeit muffled. He cracks a small smile, remembering how Jesse liked to stay up with her and show her that even though he’s called old he’s still got some moves. His chest pangs though, the thought of Jesse not there like punch to the gut. The cowboy’s hat crinkles in his fists before he smooths it out with a gentle hand.

The medical wing comes into view too fast, too soon for his tastes but he presses forward. He waits outside the door to the infirmary, suddenly scared of what’s behind it. But a small part of him says that it’ll be alright, that when he steps in there will be that sunshine smile and kisses that’ll melt his heart all over again.

“It’s quite late, agent Shimada. What are you doing up?” Athena’s sudden voice startles the assassin from his thoughts, eyes darting from side to side to see if anyone had heard the AI.

“I am here for Jesse.” He knows the robot knows because he comes here all the time, asking for the same thing. The only other times he is present here is when Genji manages to get himself hurt, that protectiveness of an older brother something fierce that overcomes Hanzo when that happens. He will still deny such things though if anyone asked him.

“Angela forbids me but I can give you a few hours at best before she gets back.” Athena replies, the door sliding open and Hanzo smiles appreciatively as he passes through.

The smell of antiseptic hits him the second the door closes behind him but he ignores it as he goes into one of the rooms. There he hears a constant beep of a heartbeat he knows all to well, and his eyes rest upon none other than Jesse laying under the white hospital sheets. It looks wrong in every sense to him, to Jesse’s still form and to where the machines that keep him alive around him. There’s a chair next to his bed but Hanzo plainly ignores it and settles himself next to his lover, arms circling over Jesse’s stomach and under his back in a gentle hug.

“I had another nightmare.” Hanzo says before he realizes it, “I dreamt of the night I had almost killed Genji. I couldn’t look him in the eyes and if I did I knew that all I would find was hurt. I didn’t want to see what I had done and woke up instead and found you not there next to me.” Again. Hanzo refrains from saying that, not wanting to make the pain in his chest deeper.

All he hears in response is Jesse’s heartbeat monitor and the deep breaths the man takes in. Hanzo then rests his head on Jesse’s chest, finding that strong heartbeat he loves to hear so much but won’t say it out loud. He knows his lover eats up that sappy stuff like those movies of star crossed lovers that has the cowboy in tears and Hanzo lending his shoulder to cry on. It’s cheesy, so silly but his heart swells because it’s what makes Jesse Mcree even more special to the Japanese man.

“I miss you. I miss you so much.” He says, his throat tight but when he swallows the lump there refuses to go down. His eyes blur with tears and Hanzo lets them fall onto those pristine sheets, the small drops wetting the covers. He feels like its something better than what he sees Jesse laying in.

“I can’t sleep anymore, my love.” The Japanese man sniffles, the sound almost above the constant ‘beep beep’ he hears every time he visits. “It’s hard to sleep when you’re here, all hooked up and not moving. You like to move around, almost fall off our bed every night. You know how much I protest but I just want to hold you. You know that, right?”

There’s no response.

“I love you.” Hanzo murmurs before reaching out and moving a stray lock of hair out of the sleeping man’s face. He presses his lips to Jesse’s cheek, tucking his head in the crook of his neck and shoulder to inhale that scent he knows Jesse always has. It’s earthy, something spicy that immediately makes him think of the home he found in the man. His home, where his heart resides, where it’ll be protected at all costs no matter what and Hanzo would do the same for Jesse any day.

But these days he feels like that home is slipping away, drifting out to a place where he cannot go just yet. Hanzo still holds on, still keeps that stubbornness like a vice around the only man he knows he will love like no other.

His dragons must have felt how relaxed he is right now and decide to furl up around him and Jesse. One wiggles it’s way between him and the cowboy, managing to make itself comfortable in that small space before making a content noise and settling in. The other one finds a home over Jesse’s chest, watchful eyes looking up to the man that has their master in fits but makes him oh so happy all the same. It prods a nose at the sleeping man’s chin, disappointed in the lack of response. With a gentle nuzzle, it closes its eyes and rumbles something as it drifts off to sleep.

Hanzo is already deep asleep by the time Angela returns, his nightmares chased away again by the presence of his cowboy. The woman wants to scold the archer for this recurring habit but when she sees the bags under Hanzo’s eyes she refrains.

“Oh Jesse McCree how you worry everyone.” Not wanting to disturb the two, the doctor quickly checks up on Jesse and grabs a spare blanket. She gently drapes it over the two sleeping men, pressing a kiss to Jesse’s forehead before making her way out.

Hanzo dreams of an ocean stretched on to forever, the smell of the ocean breeze wafting past him. The sun is dipping low, casting beautiful lights across the waves in a array of colors that dance together. There’s no painter that can capture this moment, no person who can imitate such beauty. He’s on a steep cliff, the waves crashing below and the edge so close but there’s no danger. Then there’s a voice singing, rich and loud with so much spirit but Hanzo smiles nonetheless.

“Dance with me darlin’! The nights still young!” Hanzo laughs, facing away from the ocean to see none other than Jesse standing there, donning that cowboy getup he always does and a smile that can chase away any cloud in the sky.

Hanzo doesn’t want to wake up as he takes an outstretched hand, doesn’t want to wake up from this amazing dream. And Jesse just laughs, the perfect sound to Hanzo’s ears as the colors blend together as he and Jesse dance into the night.