GRAPHIC GROSS VENTING AHEAD
I remember it was dark and the room smelled like mothballs because it was the guest bedroom. I could see the light from the hallway peeking through the door. I think they were watching a movie in th e living room. Just one wall between us. I was cuddling my racoon stuffie, Rocky. I was so tired. But I couldn’t sleep. This quirk would follow me to adulthood. You came in the room quietly. You tred so lightly. Was it so they didn’t hear? I’m sure it was. You sat on the edge of the bed too big fo r my 6 year old body. I couldn’t breathe. I was terrified. I pretended to be asleep. I wasn’t. Not when you walked in. Not when you put you hand on my legs. Not when you found your way under the covers. I was never asleep. Blackness. I forget how you did it all. Just bits. But I remember the feeling. I remember you ripping Rocky away from me and throwing him on the floor. I remember how you tasted. A taste a 6 year old shouldn’t know. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I sorry I didn’t scream. I’m sorry I fucked us up.