and soon tousan too

; the devil resides in human souls

There was a constant ticking ringing through his ears, and Rin knew that it was impossible considering they had a digital clock in the room. He couldn’t sleep because of what had happened that evening. He dug a nail into his arm as he stared up at the top of the bed above him, quietly thinking to himself about what to do. With everything, and with himself.

Everything his older counterpart said to him before went through his head constantly. And after thinking about it for at least an hour, he knew Yukio was sleeping, and he was itching to get his life going again. He felt stuck. He’d said before that he felt helpless and that he was stuck in place. It was like Yukio was slipping away for him and the only way for him to be as good as the older version of himself was to get on with it. To draw the sword and break the seal. 

Rin hadn’t been in his right mind. 
If he was anywhere near as sane as he’d been before this mess, then maybe he would have brushed it off, rolled over and tried to get some sleep. But instead he got up from his bed and he left the room without any second thoughts. Tousan was gone but he knew he’d left the key behind. Where? He wasn’t sure but as he entered the old man’s room, he was drawn straight for the desk. He had a feeling that it was in one of those drawers. 

It was a locked drawer too. 

He pursed his lips and went ahead and tore the drawer off its hinges, and there it was. The key was resting on a small stack of papers and envelops and he didn’t hesitate to grab it. Maybe it was his newly forming demon half that had led him to it but it really hadn’t crossed his mind. It never did, not even when he’d gone into the altar room and actually managed to find where his power was sealed away. He remembered being brought to it when Raina came by to strengthen the seal a while back. 

Back then he’d frozen up, and even now he did. 

He swallowed a lump in his throat and moved closer to shakily unlock the key hole that sat between him and the sword. And soon it was revealed to him and the key fell to the floor. He didn’t think, he almost didn’t breath, but he continued to reach for the sheathed sword anyway. He picked it up and he brought it close, trembling hands slowly peeling at the seal on top and once that too was on the ground, a hand reached for the hilt and he paused to take a deep and slow breath. 

As much as Rin wanted to pull it, however, he almost prayed in the back of his head, that someone would come and stop him. 
Why the hell was he even doing this?