and sometimes i like to pretend i can art

You know you’re in faaaaaaaaar too deep when you have made a long-ass to-do-list with doodle shitpost ideas, and notes for four different AUs…
This is one of them and I have no fucking idea how to give it a happy ending, but let’s pretend it was just the members of our orchestra being their nerdy selves and musical jokes and everything is cute and nothing hurts…
…Whoops, fail.

The ominous mystery tune is the violin solo in Seventh Wonder’s King of Whitewater :)
And this scene actually deserves far better than quick cel shading blotched on the sketch, but here we are. This is sooo not finished, but I have so many more doodle shitpost WIPs and even more ideas, so I should move on (also clean lineart of musical instruments would be a pain in the ass, so there’s that)

Brain: you could do it in watercolour, it would look 300% better and pretty glorious :)
Me: did I ask for your opinion

okay heres the thing i’m pissed off too i can’t pretend i’m not sad audrey or anyone else i love got the ending they deserved but i’ve always know this is what david lynch does. his work has always been dark and feels like a dream and i’m in awe of that. i feel like im in a different world watching twin peaks and i feel like i can let go and get dragged into the world of twin peaks. that whole season felt like a dream. sometimes a dream within another dream. i still think what lynch and frost did this season was ART and beautiful. it was shocking, terrifying, moving, confusing, dreamy and all that jazz. it made me feel a lot of different emotions and challenged me in new ways like no other show has ever done. twin peaks will stay with me and i’m never going to stop loving it. did i want twin peaks to end in a different way, sure of course. did i think it was going to end the way i wanted, oh god no. david lynch doesnt make work to please others and i didn’t get my hopes up when i watch this work but i love that. I love not knowing, i love the mystery because it gets into my mind like no other show and i need that in my life. i will forever be craving more and feel like that final was open to be taking in different ways. i’ve always said twin peaks has always been about laura palmer so that ending to me felt right to me.

alilsketchdoodle  asked:

How would the 2ps react to finding out their s/o was a writer? And their main character was often much like the 2p?

2p America: “I’ll create a fanclub for your book! And for this sexy main character that you have! Man, if I wasn’t with you I’d love to hang out with this man!”

2p England: “I can’t believe I’m dating someone that is so talented and lovely enough to make me in a character… I love you so  much! Let me have the first issue of the book, would you?” 

2p France: “Is cool that you have a hobby that is interesting for you… I like reading a lot, so please don’t make the ending cheesy.”

2p Russia: “I’m really flattered, but next time ask if you can put me in a book… I-I’m not angry, just surprised. But I’m proud of you.”

2p China: “Is that how you see me kitten? Hohohoho, you’re not writing anything dirty, are you? Show me~”

2p Canada: “Well that’s a…. coincidence. I write about you sometimes… A-Anyway! What about we give honest reviews about each other’s work? I’ll take some coffe.”

2p Italy: “I know that I’m very interesting baby, keep going~ And no need to change the name, I want everyone wanting to take pictures with me when you publish this masterpiece.”

2p Germany: “You’re a writer?? That’s so cool!!! And this guy in your book, you know a thing that would make him even cooler? An amazing lover like you!! And wings!”

2p Japan: “I’d love to read some of your work pretending that I don’t know who is this main character. And I can draw the cover art for your book. But you have to read one of my works too. Just a hint: It has screaming. And tentacles.”

anonymous asked:

Can you write something about how each of the boys would act when you make them go into a makeup store with you ?

(of course i can! ur wish is my command……. - sorren)

JOJI would fall in even more love with you during the trip. he’d follow you around, compliment every shade you try on, admiring you for your talent. he’d probably grab your ass a few times, call you a princess, and insist he pays for all the makeup youd ever desire. “hey, (y/n)… if you ever find any good pink eyeshadow, can you put it on me? i think it could be a good look, dont you think?” he might even suggest coming back next week so that he can please you even more and see you even more estatic in your art. because believe me; makeup is art, and joji really appreciates it.

MAX would complain & groan like a little bitch going into the store, but eventually become reluctantly interested in the ordeal. since he sometimes appears as maxine, he’d probably pretend to know a lot about makeup, picking out the shittiest colors in the world. “try this one! what, its ugly?? i bet i can pull it off better than you!!” he’d probably swipe the weirdest colors onto your hand, even if you dont want him to, dodging every time you would try to smear lipstick on his shirt in retaliation. he’d eventually end up causing such a ruckus in the store that an employee would tell him to calm down.

IAN would probably be reluctant in going, but not show it as much except for an uncomfortable facial expression. he doesnt know a thing about makeup, he’d probably linger around you quietly. but since he likes you so much, he’d want to be as involved as he possible could. he’d probably offer his hand for you to test shades of lipstick, hues of eyeshadow, and glitters of highlighers on. he’d sometimes stand above you from behind, trying to see what you are doing, making sure you two stay close the entire time. he’d help pay for your makeup and assist you in carry it out back to the car, saying that he genuinely had a good time with you.

Man I hate that post that is like “Why do fandoms of progressive media like su, overwatch and dream daddy has the most violent fandom” like, have you been in other fandoms? Mortal Kombat fanboys sending sexuals threats to one of the designer’s wife and daugthers becasue he desexualized the female characaters? How bronies would literally doxx teenager girls for saying they dont like MLP porn, literal n*zis watching South Park??

Like that people complaining about the OW/SU/DDADDS fandom aren’t even complaining about likes the toxic OW gamers who calls the enemy teams racial slurs or people who harass minors for making human Pearls that are trans woc, the fandom is violent for all those PoCs calling out racism and kweers addressing homophobia.

Like I agree that the SJ/anti/critical side of fandoms can be super extra sometimes and I don’t agree with many of them in some stuff, but the only reason people think that those Diverse/Progressive series ™ like Overwatch or SU have bad fandoms it’s because how many of them are from minorities.

A bunch of grown up white men can send death threats and draw fantart of a real woman being assaulted simply because she critiquized videogmes tropes on her youtube channel and people won’t generalize those fandoms, but one edgy teen handles badly addressing racist art and now every PoC is violent in search of blood.

TLDR: I agree that any form of harrasment is bad, but don’t pretend people doesn’t have bias when calling out this and there is SO MUCH people who get away with telling others to kill themselves.

Scenario #9

You: *accidentally let it slip out that you write fanfiction*

2P!America: wtf is that?

2P!China: *smirks* You know what you should do? Write a fanfic about us fucking.

2P!England: Oh, oh! Can I be a character in your story?~ Er… what do you mean I already am…? *genuinely confused* 

2P!France: oh.

2P!Russia: Shouldn’t you be using your time more wisely? … Why do you suddenly look so angry? It’s scary…

2P!Italy: Mmm~ your passion for art only makes you seem more alluring.

2P!Germany: You do? Seriously? …Omg can you write a smut for me?!

2P!Japan: *eyes widen* Me too… *goes back to usual expressionless face* mostly gore, however.

2P!Canada: yeah yeah kid, *yawns* do whatever the hell ya want.

2P!Romano: Really? Hehe, I sometimes like to pretend I write for a fashion magazine and so I type up articles in my free time.~

2P!Prussia: *smiles* it must be nice to be good at something…


I like pretending I can draw manga sometimes. A lil piece of junk from pchat, Ren is not having a good night. Another compilation of doodles I made in pchat, lately I draw a lot of Ren because I’m trying to get used to his personality and face…. he is supposed to have a strong jaw, thick eyebrows and piercing gray eyes with maybeline mascara quality eyelashes… lol of course Im all over the place. cough.

abuse is a staircase–
they don’t tell you about that part
how every time you climb up
you nearly trip on the lip of the step
and every time you climb down, your heart stutters
because you aren’t sure if you’ll be able to reach the landing
they don’t tell you that there’s no handrail
and it’s a hundred-mile drop

abuse is a staircase and they never tell you that
it’s not just a one-time climb
that you’ll trek up and down until the wood is scuffed
until you’ve memorized which boards creek and
which ones don’t, and the pattern of the grain
they tell you that it gets easier, but they don’t tell you that
it gets harder, too
that some days are good and some aren’t and you’ll never know
which one it’ll be, until you wake up in the morning

3 AM is a good hour for introspection
not just for abuse, though i’ve found it helps with that too
maybe “help” isn’t the right word
maybe “listens to” is better
i’m at an all-night diner, not because i’m not tired
i’ve been exhausted for years
but because i’m not the kind of tired that sleep will ever fix
they don’t tell you that part, either
they don’t tell you a lot of things, in the end

when i was fourteen years old, i hid an apple behind my bookshelf
because i didn’t want to eat it, and because
my mother goes through the trash, so i couldn’t throw it away
i meant to sneak it out later, but i forgot
for months, so that by the time she found it 
it was molded and rotten all the way through
she made me eat it anyway
and now the apple is anything that i don’t want to deal with
i store it away like if it’s covered up then it’s not really there
and i can pretend that it’s dealt with until months later when
i’ll start to wonder what the smell is, like sticky-sweet death
and i’ll wonder how it got there, and i’ll wonder how it died
and i never meant for that apple to become a metaphor
it’s funny how that happens, sometimes
like poetry, writing itself
life imitating art, imitating itself, and we’ve come full circle

they don’t tell you that you will have days where
you question the scars, and the memories, and the nightmares
you will think you got it all wrong, that it wasn’t that bad
that you’re just being dramatic, that there are
orphans and war vets and other victims, better victims
who need the world’s sympathy much more than you do
and there can’t possibly be enough to go around
and anyway you’re better now, aren’t you? you’re fine
a walking case-study in denial, but at least you can walk
they don’t tell you that even though at the height of it, every day 
felt like the apocalypse, like the end of the world, like 
if you just closed your eyes and never opened them, that might
somehow be better–even after all of that, some days
it won’t feel like enough
they don’t tell you that one day you’ll be fine, and the next
you’ll be a mess of self pity, of bitter rage, of nothing, on the floor
because the floor is where messes belong
they don’t tell you that your worst fear will be waking up one day
to look in the mirror, and find their face staring back at you
that your worst fear will be becoming like them
they don’t tell you that abuse is a staircase with structural damage
they don’t tell you you’ll have to rebuild it
that if you don’t, a step will break, and you’ll fall

here is what they do tell you:
they tell you that it gets easier (this is half true)
they tell you that you don’t deserve it (this is ¾ true)
they tell you that you aren’t alone (this is 3/8 true)
they tell you that talking about it will help (this is relative)
they tell you that ignoring it won’t (this is probably true) (you will probably end up doing it, anyway)
they tell you that you might need medication (they do not mean whiskey, or vicodin) (but they never specify, so you can’t be faulted for trying)
they tell you abuse is a cycle, and this is where the picture goes bad
cycle (noun): a series of events–and it’s hardly ever that structured, is it?
there i am, at the top, reaching for the doorknob, and i know i should always knock first, but i’ve never followed the rules
there i am, at the bottom, and i’m not planning to go out today but i still put my coat on, because it’s nice to trick yourself, sometimes
there i am, on the very middle step, and i sit down because it’s comfortable, and i trace my name in the wood, saying
“i was here. this happened. sometimes it feels like it’s still happening, even if it’s been done for years.”
because it’s never really done, is it? and they don’t tell you that part, either
there is no expiration date. it’s an open-ended story
and you get to choose what happens next

there you are, in the upstairs room, cleaning out the storage
there you are, at the foot of the stairs, putting on your shoes
there you are, carving your name into the wood because
it’s nice to label things, sometimes. it’s nice to say “this is mine”
there you are, climbing out the window
there you are, walking out the front door
there you are, eyes open in bed, staring at the ceiling 
there you are, eyes closed, dreaming about a childhood
bathed in sunlight and good memories with
a mother who never hit you and a father who was always home
there you are, in a diner down on lakeview, asking for another cup
of complimentary coffee that tastes like burned-out engine oil
(that part isn’t a metaphor) writing a poem that no one will read
there you are, crossing a line out, changing your mind
fuck roman numerals
you think “i’m better than this” (this is 2/3 true)
you think next time, you might take the elevator

—  3 AM intrusive poems
lucaya fake!date au

hartbreaks fanfiction // part 1

requested by anonymous

In which Maya needs a date for her art gallery appearance. (juniors)

“Great!” The representative from the art gallery, Mrs. Williamson, beams at Maya, starting to collect her papers. “I’m glad you’ve agreed to show your paintings, Miss Hart. You have so much talent.” 

“Thank you for the opportunity,” Maya smiles brightly at her. She still can’t believe her art is being displayed at Off Track, the biggest contemporary art gallery in Manhattan. It started out with the school gallery freshman year, then sophomore year the art teacher got her into the county gallery, and now this? Maya doesn’t know when she started believing in things, but she’s glad she did. Maybe something good will happen for her after all.

“Anytime! I can’t wait to see your display. Now remember, it’s formal. Oh, and you’ll need to bring a date, of course,” the old woman dismisses it like it’s not a big deal. “But such a pretty girl like you must have a boyfriend already, eh?” She winks at Maya.

“Um, what?” Maya pushes her hair back from her face, “I have to have a date?” 

“Will that be a problem?”

Yes, Maya thinks. She says, “no, of course not,” with a hopefully not-uncomfortable smile. What kind of rule is that? She knows Farkle’s going to London that weekend for some sort of academic competition, which is why Riley promised she’d video chat him in, to which Maya replied ‘you don’t video chat during an art gallery!’ and Riley said ‘well I do!’ So Farkle’s out. This leaves her with two options. 

“Good. Well, I’ll be off, then!” Mrs. Williamson gathers her things and leaves the Matthews’ apartment quickly.

Riley runs down the stairs immediately and bounces onto the couch beside Maya.

“So,” she prompts, “when is it?”

“December 16th,” Maya answers distractedly. “At, uh, seven thirty.”

“Maya, congratulations!” Cory appears, with Topanga and Auggie in tow. They all hug Maya at once.

“Wait, we need to keep her alive until December 16th!” Riley exclaims, laughing.

“Thanks for letting me meet with her here,” Maya says gratefully. Cory and Topanga smile at her fondly.

“Anytime at all, Maya. We are very proud of you,” Topanga squeezes her shoulder, then the three of them disperse into the kitchen.

“Maya, what’s wrong?” Riley asks her best friend, noting Maya’s unfocused look. Maya frowns at her a little.

“I need a date.”

+ + +

“Hey, Ranger Rick,” Maya greets Lucas the same way she always does. He rolls his eyes.

“Hi, Pancake.” He replies. These days she’s unaffected by the nickname and wears heels regularly, although she’s still not nearly as tall as Lucas. “Hi, Riley.” Riley waves at him with a smile. Over the years, they’d “ended things” between them thousands of times (no, Maya’s not counting, and yes, she may have exaggerated a little), usually getting back together within days, sometimes hours. But this time it’s been seven months since they’ve agreed to just be friends, and at first Maya wasn’t sure she believed them, but Riley started dating Charlie three months ago and seems happy.

“Maya has something to ask you,” she announces. Maya glares at her halfheartedly through a smile.

“Wow, Riley, way to ease into it,” she says sarcastically, patting her arm. “And yes, I do have a favor to ask you.” She turns back to face Lucas. “Will you come to that art gallery as my date?” He freezes for a second.


“I have to bring a date, it’s mandatory,” Maya scowls. Lucas’ shoulders relax, but his heart doesn’t.

“I don’t know, what’s in it for me?” He pretends to be uninterested and not excited at the idea of being Maya’s (fake) date.

“Where’s Zay?” Maya asks as an answer, holding eye contact with Lucas daringly, “I have something to ask him.” She spins around. “Riley, will you help me find him?” Riley smirks at Lucas. He swears she can read his mind sometimes.

“Yeah, of course. I’m sure he’d be happy to go with you,” she says cheerfully. Lucas glares at the lockers.

“Maya, wait. I’ll go,” he blurts. Maya wrinkles her nose at him. 

“Oh, are you sure?” She pretends to consider. “I mean, you don’t have to. Since there’s ‘nothing in it for you’, like you said.” Lucas narrows his eyes at her.

“I’m sure. I wanted to see your art anyway, I might as well be useful,” he says nonchalantly. 

“Yeah, you might as well,” Maya agrees, raising her eyebrows. “I’ll see you, Huckleberry.”

+ + +

It’s December 16th at 6:45 pm, and Maya’s not sure if she’s more nervous about her art being displayed or about going on a (fake, she reminds herself, it’s fake) date with Lucas. 

The doorbell rings. “They’re here,” Riley smiles at her best friend. Maya glances at herself in Riley’s mirror one more time.

They walk down the stairs together, reaching the bottom just in time to catch Cory opening the door.

“Oh, no,” he sighs. “Not this again. I thought you two were done,” Cory accuses Lucas. “I thought she’s with Charlie now.” Lucas and Charlie both laugh. Riley and Maya both roll their eyes at Cory’s suspicion, linking their arms and approaching the door.

“She is with Charlie, sir,” Lucas assures him. “I’m actually here to see…” He trails off. “Her.” Maya’s wearing a loose, floor-length dark blue dress and her hair is swept back and twisted up intricately, courtesy of Riley. The artist’s best friend wears a knee-length light pink dress and her usually curly hair falls straight and to her waist, courtesy of Maya.

“Quit looking at us, Huckleberry,” the blonde teases, quoting her eighth-grade self.

“I’m sorry, Maya. You look… good,” he plays along, breathless.

“Oh, thanks.” She waits for it, looking at the floor. The ‘you both do’ never comes, but a starstruck smile does. Riley smiles at them, taking Charlie’s hand.

“Aren’t they cute?” She asks Charlie. “Tell them they’re cute, because they are very cute. Don’t you think?” She looks up at Charlie, who’s looking down at her fondly.

“Yeah, cute.” It appears to physically pain him to say the words, but Charlie would do just about anything for the wide-eyed girl standing next to him and everyone knows it. “Zay’s waiting in the car, lovebirds.” Maya rolls her eyes at Charlie.

“C’mon Ranger, Rick, let’s go be cute at the art gallery,” she says excitedly, dragging Lucas out by the arm. Riley and Charlie follow them.

“Have fun, kids,” Cory calls after them. “We’ll be there at seven-thirty.”

+ + +

“I’m video chatting him!” Riley hisses. Maya tries to snatch the phone away from her.

“You don’t video chat during an art gallery!” Maya’s exasperated.

Lucas, Charlie, and Zay think it might be the hundredth time the girls have had this conversation, and, knowing it might go on for a while, Zay pulls out his own phone and video chats Farkle himself.

“Hiya, Farkle!” Zay greets. Maya whips around and glares at him.

“Whose side are you on?” She throws her hands up. Zay shrugs innocently, switching the camera onto Maya’s paintings.

“Hi Maya,” Farkle’s voice comes through the speaker. “Your art looks great!” Maya’s scowling face softens and she looks at the wall of her paintings proudly.

“Thanks, Farkle,” she laughs softly. “I’m really happy it’s here.”

Mrs. Williamson chooses that moment to see and walk toward the group, causing Zay to turn down his volume quickly and Maya to tug Lucas toward her by the hand. She pretends it doesn’t make her heart beat faster, and smiles tightly at the woman.

“Hi, Mrs. Williamson,” she greets, pulling Lucas’ arm around her shoulders and leaning toward him. He pretends he doesn’t love the way she fits there perfectly.

“Maya,” the grey-haired lady exclaims. “Your art looks amazing!” 

“Thank you,” Maya blushes. “It’s so amazing to see it here.” 

“You deserve it, dear. Oh, this must be your boyfriend!” Mrs. Williamson’s eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles, and Maya stiffens. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Lucas,” he smiles at the already-charmed woman. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Quite a catch, this one,” Mrs. Williamson whispers to Maya, whose eyes widen.

“Um, yeah,” she coughs. “Thanks again, Mrs. Williamson.” 

Once she leaves, Maya goes to take Lucas’ arm off her shoulders, but he wraps it tighter.

“I’m enjoying this,” he turns to whisper to her, lips brushing her ear. “Apparently I’m quite the catch, Miss Hart.”

“Don’t get too full of yourself now, Hop-Along,” Maya mutters, secretly enjoying the moment but not wanting to get her hopes up. “This is a favor, I owe you one.” Lucas spins her into him so they’re pressed together, the top of her head only barely reaching his chest, and he’s thinking how beautiful she is and she’s thinking height difference but neither of them is really thinking straight.

“How about you owe me another date?” He requests. “A real one, this time.” Maya tilts her head.

“What’s in it for me?” She smiles slightly, not letting him answer before reaching up and pressing her lips to his.

Very cute,” Riley grins happily, elbowing Charlie. “I told you so.”


“Really, Shepard? Hiding behind kids? Isn’t that a little beneath you?”

“Nothing’s beneath me when you’re pissed off. Besides, you have to admit they’re pretty cute.”

“That they are. Why two hearts, though?”

“Oh, that was their idea. They said I need a second heart like a krogan, so I can keep loving you in case the first one gives out.”

Okay, here’s my real happy valentines. \o/ (Yes, that’s Charr and Ereba’s hypothetical daughter.) Shepard’s not much of a romantic, but sometimes he gets it right.

blitzeen  asked:

Bro your art is so nice. The form is on point!Sometimes, things look unnaturally perfect to me. Maybe it's the pallets, the poses, the simplicity? I can't tell. Also your Mae and Mags art with the twins inspired me to headcanon: Elrond and Elros used to go around with their right hands tucked up inside their long sleeves, pretending to be Maedhros.

I’m sorry it took me a little bit to respond, but thank you so much for this message! That’s such an incredible compliment to me because I’m still learning and struggling a lot with my art.

And awww, that’s a sweet headcanon, that they would pretend to be Maedhros! I can just see their serious little faces when they try to mimic his facial expressions. I bet they really did want to understand him, and were curious about what it was like for him to do things with one hand.

thewyldwolf  asked:

List 5 things you like about yourself (publicly) then send this to 10 of your favorite followers!✨💞


1. I like that I can get pretty creative sometimes and they actually look decent. Like nail art or some creative craft.

2. I love that I finally had the balls to be able to do something I love instead of being in a job I hate and have a gotten a custom to being sad about. This wasn’t easy because I tend to try to please my not so loving family.

3. I am pretty real and you will know what you will get at the start. (The only time I pretend to be something i’m not is during unsafe conditions)

4. That i won’t give up and will push myself constantly until i am the better version of my self. 

5. That I dream big and demand to have the best of life i can and fight a difficult battle of depression just to get it. 

thylovelylionheart  asked:

Once you get this, say five things you like about yourself publicly, then send this to some of your favorite followers. Spread that sweet positivity ( ;D )

1. I like my hair, it can get crazy but that honestly makes it kind of fun, and it grows pretty fast which is super nice!

2. My imagination, it’s nice to pretend I’m in a fictional world or whatever and just come up with stories

3. My art, it’s still a WIP but I looked at pictures from only a few years ago and man…I’m much happier with how my people look now xD

4. My smile/laugh, I think they make others smile/laugh and that’s super fun!

5. Perseverance, sometimes it’s hard but I still manage to get out of the house and do things, I just need to keep it up (this is a good reminder to me to keep it up even if it’s hard)

Scrawl Mates - 3

Part 3

Part 1, 2


Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Adrinette

Words: 1,815

Description:  Adrien has an idea. Whether it’s good or bad is still left to be seen.
Still some more exposition to help set up for later.

Notes: Guess who got some sleep? Guess who also got sick? Guess who’s bored as hell in bed? Meeee!!!

Guess who should be worried about the angst? You.

If only I could see her arms.

The thought will not leave him alone. Adrien can’t sleep, too distracted by the single sentence bouncing around in his head.

He knows he’s never able to see her arms, and the thought haunts him. The drawings that are left on his body are mostly condensed to his arms and his chest. Neither of which he can see when she’s in uniform.

The only time things were different was on the first day when he was first talking to her. But those had been different, they’d gone up his…

Adrien gently reaches up, tracing the drawings he couldn’t see but he knew she was sketching. He follows the path of them with his fingers, and stops just at his collarbone, before proceeding up to where they’d ended the first time.

Just behind his ear.

Keep reading

Shopping for your body type

Shopping for your body type can be tough sometimes. I mean, let’s face it, you know the feeling when you go try on the seemingly *perfect* pair of pants but disappointingly realize they don’t fit like the model pretends they do, it’s frustrating. Dressing for your body type is an art, and nothing less. I cannot count how many people I have seen walk out of a store, defeated, because they don’t know what to look for. Only about 2% of the world’s women are naturally as thin and tall as the models whose images we are constantly bombarded with. Your job, therefore, is to do some research before you go shopping. 

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anonymous asked:

Wait so you dont go to art school.. Yet you're so amazing at art ;__; how... I go to art school but I'm a little unsatisfied with my work and i was thinking about doing the same thing cause college costs a lotttt... practicing a lot is obvious but like.. How did you just.. Go about with your art?? (If you don't mind me asking that is)

I don’t mind the question at all, though please excuse me for answering it at like 3 AM haha!

Personally, I’d love to go to a private art college, but I know its hugely expensive and it’s just not something I can afford right now. I don’t know what year you’re in but if you can plan your financial budget to make it through, with financial aid and whatnnot, I highly encourage you to do so! Honestly you can learn anywhere I’ll give you that, but college is a great place to be exposed to new things, meet new people, and make connections. In fact, I personally think these are just as important as what you’re taking in the classrooms!

Obviously if financial needs deem it necessary, there’s no shame in taking whatever time you need to make the money to go back. But if you can find any way to support yourself, please stay!

In terms of how I go about with art, my mentality is that regardless of who or what or why I’m drawing, I’m going all out. I kind of like to play this game of pretend of treating stuff I do like little assignments or jobs, like “okay even though this comic is for myself I’m going to do so many pages by sometime,” etc etc. Also I spend a lot… of time drawing like, it’s pretty much the only thing I do… I’ve sacrificed a lot of things like hanging out with friends and uh, in highschool let’s just say I’m not very well versed in some subjects I personally deemed unnecessary… And tbh drawings not always fun, sometimes it is work, but at the same time when I feel like one drawing is becoming work, it’s usually cause I just feel like drawing something else.

So long story short drawing pretty much consumes the majority of my life, but here’s the kicker…I still feel unsatisfied with my work a lot of the time, and to be honest, it’s pretty natural. It’s tough, because art changes all the time and the more variety of art you see the more uneasy or unsure you’ll feel about your art. Whether you’re in school, our of school, or thinking about going to school, the feeling of not being good enough well… It’s always there. I still feel like I wouldn’t make it to schools I’d want to go to to be honest, but you’re there and that means you’ve already proven to yourself that you have the drive and ability to pursue the arts. But again that’s just how I see it!

Anyway, what I guess I’m trying to say is that if you can, stay in school. Feeling a lack of confidence doesn’t mean you’re not ready, it’s just a natural road block of development, so try not to let it hinder you. Keep drawing, and realize sometimes you’re going to have to make sacrifices to do what you love; decide whether it’s worth it, and then you’ll know.

I hope this helps even a little bit, and I wish you the best!