and so i close the last chapter of this book

Fairy Tail Chapter 545 Review

Okay guys. Here it is. After 11 years the story of Fairy Tail finally comes to a close. So let’s dive into Chapter 545 “Irreplaceable Friends”

We open  at a big fancy party thrown in Lucy’s honor for her best selling book, “The Adventure of Iris”. Honestly… Good to know Lucy gets a successful career in her ending.

and we now get the cover page…

It’s a little crowded, and I think there has been better shots of all of Fairy Tail together, but nostalgia is really kicking in.

The next few pages is just shots of FT being FT.

So Lucy begins to narrate some things that have happened in the last year. First about her book and then…

Oh god. Not you. Yes, Anna gets to live in this time period, with no consequences and not even a meaningful conversation with Lucy. To top it off, she’s now a teacher. Yeah, seeing as how all of Anna’s “intellect“ just kept making things worse and worse, I don’t think those kids are in for a good academic future.

Seems like Levy is pregnant. Cool. Not that this isn’t bad, but after the whole Bradman thing, this was kinda obvious.

We then cut to other guilds. Like Lamia scale and we find out that Chelia…

Are you fucking kidding me? I guess this war really did have no lasting consequences for our heroes!

This is the last of Sabertooth. Which I swear is just a copied image from the Avatar arc when the “Tora Tora eating festival” was introduced.

I guess Ichiya is Blue Pegasus’s master now? Well he did survive a suicide trip pushing Acnologia into a portal, guess he earned this title.

Wow this arc has done well at stripping away Kagura’s dignity. From getting striped by Dimaria, to giving Jellal CPR shirtless, to being given a magic induced orgasm, and now she’s a model. Okay there’s nothing wrong with being a model, but this is Kagura. Stoic, Badass Swordswoman,  I didn’t see becoming a magazine model as a future for her character. She doesn’t even seem to like this! Actually wait! The caption says that Mermaid Heel’s girls all became models… Wow, way to treat the female only guild.

We cut to the party where…

Oh god, Gildarts no… Also Juvia, I know you spent time with Gray and developed the striping habbit, but you usually did it in combat… I don’t get why you’re doing it now.

Gray drags off Juvia and begins to lecture her on her scar…

So they’re canon… I think? Kinda… Sorta… No well explained… Hey wait! I just realized that this whole big plot point about how Gray will give Juvia an answer and keep her from being left hanging, doesn’t end in a straight answer, but a maybe?! AKA still left hanging! Dude, grow a spine and say it!

Wait… what’s this…

I love this scene! Mashima you glorious bastard~

We then cut to see that King Toma has abdicated, making Hisui queen. Yeah… Hisui… She totally earned it… What have you even done?Well she does make peace with Alvarez. Which is most likely going through a civil war to determine who is now the ruling body given the emperor and most of his top men are dead.

But Hisui also pardons Crime Sociere…

Y’know her telling them to live, would be a bit more powerful, if she interacted with Erza and not Lucy.

Yeah now the most controversial part of the chapter…

Erza and Jellal don’t get together. In fact, they don’t even talk. Y’know I did a brief post on my thoughts about this and I still stand by, Mashima is under no obligation to get them together, but he does at least owe them a conversation. At least. Because when you tease something like that, you really can’t leave open ended. If they aren’t going to get together you should at least give them a conversation that at least leads to them making the decision not to get together.

(Also Erza’s hair was that gorgeous without brushing it?!)

And Makarov can’t walk anymore… Oh god it must hard for him to make it through each day now, old, numerous heart attacks, lost the ability to walk. At this point just mercy kill him. Wait, he’ll probably live through that too.

Oh yeah and the other controversial scene…

Yup. Mavis and Zeref have been reincarnated and are now destined to fall in love again… Oh god… Why? You concluded their story! The whole journey of them as a couple had a great ending. Granted I felt it was weighed down by the Alvarez arc really dropping the ball with the whole relationship thing, before their conclusion. So this really feels like it ruins that big curse breaking moment, because they actually don’t escape their eternal cycle. Instead of being immortal they’re just reincarnated. Also one month is a short time for these reincarnations to be born and then make it to their teenage years

We get a montage shot of FT acting like FT and…

Wow… A ship with no canon interaction gets acanon ending. Mashima, you glorious bastard…

We cut to the next day in Lucy’s home, where… (For old time’s sake)

Natsu is in her living room. Appears she passed out after getting drunk, and brought her home.

And then this scene.

I know there are some upset that Natsu and Lucy didn’t get together, but this scene is really heartfelt. Regardless of the quality of every arc in question, I genuinely feel that these are two people who’ve been through thick and thin.

So they run off on another adventure… But not just on any adventure…

A 100 year quest.

So we close out on another montage showing off FT.

Umm looks like Fairies don’t have tails…

Anyway that is the conclusion, and after 11 long years the stories of Natsu, Lucy, Gray, Erza, Wendy, Happy, and Carla, come to an end, but the adventure of Fairy Tail lives on…

Post Chapter Follow Up: I’m going to start with the negatives only because I want to end on a positive note.

The biggest issue with this conclusion, is a lot of the individual ends feel iffy… Weather they don’t seem to fit the character like Kagura, or give a level of finality to their story like Jellal, or even acknowledge there has been a change to get us to this point like sabertooth. It really hurts because these are the last time we’ll see these characters and leaving them off with those conclusions is bitter sweet.

Let’s also talk about the controversial stuff. The biggest is the ambiguity. The “story” has to end without the story ending, thus it doesn’t go against a never ending adventure. There are things I think you can leave ambiguous, like Natsu and Lucy going off on an adventure, or what happens to all of the guilds as a whole. But there are some stuff that really you can’t do given the time spent on it. As I said, I am fine with Mashima not making pairs canon. Afterall, he isn’t under obligation to, just because the ships have large fanbases. That said he needs to at least give a straight answer. WIth all the time spent, you need to show us how you come to the end for these pairs and why that might not get together.

Another thing that really hurts is the Zeref and Mavis thing… Why? It’s not a bad scene, but it’s bad because it really ruins their already good conclusion. Doesn’t destroy it, but does make it a lot lesser.

So with all that said… Lets get to the positives,. First of all, I really do want to give Hiro Mashima for attempting something different for his conclusion than the typical shounen ending. I do think it is muddled a bit in execution, but this could’ve very well been just a repeat of Rave’s ending. I’m glad he ended it, his own way.

Another thing is the FT hijicks. I know a lot of the cast of FT didn’t do much this final arc, but it’s so nice to see them all get to show of their personalities one more time before the curtain draws to a close.

And finally, that moment with Natsu and Lucy. I know people are upset that the two are not together as lovers, but that doesn’t take away this really is two characters that share a genuine bond. Maybe not romantic, but it really feels like a finale for these two.

So this is the last time I’m going to do this for FT…

Final Verdict: 5/10

  • It’s too ambiguous
  • It does have some head scratching edings for characters
  • It has very sweet moments of characterization
  • Reminds of the jiy these characters brought me.

Before we go,This is it, this is the last review for a chapter of Fairy Tail I’m going to ever write. It’s been an honor and pleasure bringing you a review week to week. I wouldn’t be anything without this series, I could’ve never made my blog what it is without this series help, and all of your help dear readers. We had a lot of fun. Sure, at times it wasn’t always good, we had ups and we had downs, but that was what Fairy Tail was, a ride. And it’s a ride I don’t regret getting on. I hope it left everyone with some good memories. So till we see each other again, stay gold!

“I want you, believe me”, he pleads with his eyes.

She takes a deep breath, gathering all her thoughts. This would be the last time she would look him in the eyes and be this close to him. The last time.

“I believe you but it doesn’t matter anymore. I have waited months for you to tell me that, hoped every night for you to say those words to me. I’ve waited so long and it’s too late now. I don’t want you anymore, I don’t need you anymore. You took too long to figure out what you really want and it’s too late now. I’m sorry.”

With those words she turns around and leaves, closing yet another chapter of her life.

—  e.s. // it’s too late.
Bittersweet and Strange Part 4 (Negan X Female)




Summary: The more she spends time with him, the less she sees him as a beast.

Characters: Negan x Female

Word Count: 2,993

Warnings: Smut, swearing, fluff, corny references

Author’s Note: This is Part 4 of my Beauty and the Beast inspired fic series.

This fic series was a mistake. I hate myself for writing it. You guys seem to like it, so I’m doing this for you guys. Because I love you. Honestly, no matter how many times I edit this, it doesn’t seem good enough so I’m sorry if this is shit. It’s hard to tell if it’s my depression or if it’s actually just garbage. 

I feel burned out right now. My fics all seem copy and paste to me. Now this author’s note is just turning into a pity party. Fuck.

I love you guys. Thanks for reading my stuff. I’ll get part 5 out soon.

Please let me know what you thought! I love feedback!

This has no beta so I’m sorry for any errors.

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Soulmate AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader (Supernatural)

Prompt: Soulmate AU where you get a book at birth in which each page is a day and each chapter is a year. Each day, you get some information about their day, some things they said, some things they felt, some activities. Also, the last thing in the book will be the first words they said to you. 

Requested?: Yes, by me. 

Word count: 4,500 (Damn, that’s long)

(A/N):  this is not my idea. Normally I write down from who I stole it, but I forgot. So if you know who made this idea, let me know! & I am obsessed with Supernatural and I love Dean! SO, that’s why! Heehee;)

Originally posted by zest-wincest

Dean Winchester had always loved reading his book. The book about his soulmate, the only connection between them. At young age, he was confused as why her parents were so strict. She needed to run, and swim and at age seven, his soulmate got a knife for her birthday. But what was weird was that she didn’t seem to mind. Dean soon understood she was a hunter, just like he was becoming. That didn’t scare him. He knew she, as his soulmate, would be able to handle herself. 

When Dean got older, he loved reading about her even more. She was really smart and good, she worked mostly alone and loved llama’s, which he thought was pretty amusing. He liked how she always was pretty happy, no matter what her injuries or the job was. The book said her smile was one to die for. He liked how she could flirt with boys, just for information. He liked how she was funny and drank tea with alcohol and drank tequila after each job. He fell in love with her, slowly and not because of her looks. He didn’t know how she would look. He hoped she was pretty. 

Dean and Sam were at a motel, there was a job close by, but they wouldn’t make it there until tomorrow. Sam was in the shower, so Dean had a little bit time for him alone. Out of his bag, he took the already large book. Each chapter represented a year, and he was glad the book was so big, meaning she was still alive. The last few days, he hadn’t been able to read the book because of his research and the job. He had to catch up on a few days. 

Walking around, driving in a car. 

“I like chicken nuggets, but tart is better.” 

She winked at the guy, whose mouth hung open. He wasn’t used to girl that pretty hitting on him.

Her eyes  were tired, but this night would be sleepless, she would have to do research if she wanted to finish the job tomorrow. 

Dean grinned, this was how he knew her, totally random, yet very determent. She liked to get a move on things. 

Her boots were tight, she had checked that tree times already. Her dark shirt and pants were tight and easy to fight in. She took her bag and jumped in the jeep. The house was quiet, but she knew that the ghost of Julie could show up at any moment. Pain took over as something hit her in the back of her head. With a groan, she turned around, shotgun ready. She missed. She really needed to find that stupid box. 

After what seemed like hours of reading, Dean relaxed. She was safe, mildly hurt but safe. That was the one thing he always hoped. That she would be alive, breathing and mentally healthy. He knew how it was to lose someone you care about, and he couldn’t lose her, not before they had met. Dean wasn’t really afraid she would die on a job, she had proven how good she was plenty of times. 

“Reading about your soulmate?” Sam spoke and Dean looked up, Sams tone was slightly teasingly. 

“So what? Everyone does.” Dean stated, calm, unamused. He saw Sam grin slightly.

Y/n didn’t like reading about her soulmate. She had read too much over the pain he had been through. She had read about his mothers death, and her parents had explained her everything. They didn’t know what had killed her, but it was something supernatural. She had read about how his father wasn’t really a good father. She had read about him being hungry a lot because he gave his little brother more food. That broke her heart. She wasn’t one to pity, and she told herself she didn’t pity him, but she wished he had had a better childhood, at least. 

She walked out of the warm shower, her hair falling damp over her shoulders when she sat on her bed. Y/n really wanted to read her book, she always hoped she would read he was happy that day, even when he was happy for weeks, she would still hope he was happy. She hesitated. She always did. Swallowing hard, she took the book from the nightstand. The book felt heavy on her lap. 

He and his brother sneaked into the dark building, under the police tape to the house. His brother was first. The remains of the ghost where in the house, they only needed to find it before the ghost found them. They started from the basement, they had no clue where the body could be. He screamed, yelled for his brother to duck before firing. The ghost vanished, but they knew he would come back. He said that his brother needed to search upstairs, they didn’t have much time. He went downstairs, stairs made a lot of noise. His flashlight gave him some light. He opened doors, cabins, closets. But he noticed the newer wall. The bricks still had color. he yelled for his brother, not wanting him to be in more danger then needed. His brother stumbled it, gun ready. Together they broke down the wall, and an old corpse rolled out. Salt and burn. This job was done. 

Y/n wanted more information, she always wanted more. But she knew that she wouldn’t. She hoped they would meet soon. Y/n didn’t want to go to sleep, even though she was tired. So, longing for her soulmate, she read her favorite parts again. The parts where he was happy, where he had a reason to smile. That always made her heart warm. 

Dean and Sam Winchester sat in a diner, talking about the job. 

“So, you think it is a vengeful spirit?” Sam asked Dean, leaning in over the table. 

“Yes, I think it is. I mean, people disappearing near a forest? I checked it, and each year, in one week, this week, every night at least one person disappears. And that for seven days.” Dean took a sip out his cup. 

“Okay, this is a job. But where do we start?” Dean wanted to answer that question, but then something caught his eye. No, a someone. A young woman walked past. Her hair fell over shoulders, decoration her leather jacket. She had a very tight pair of jeans on, and high heels. Dean didn’t notice she stood slightly unstable on the shoes. When she stopped by a table, Dean saw her red lips, flirty smile and low cut tank top. The man she talked to asked her to sit, and Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. Even though there was obvious flirting, she didn’t seen interested. He wondered why she sat by him. 

“Dean,” Sam started. “are you even listening?” Dean teared his eyes away from the beautiful woman. 

“Yes, of course I was.” 


Only a few hours had passed, Dean would talk to a few people, and Sam, Sam would do some more research. Dean chose a house which was very close to the forest. It if was a spirit, then maybe they would know. He knocked on the door and was surprised when he saw the man the beautiful woman had flirted with. 

“Hello, I’m from the police. I wanted to ask you a few questions about last night disappearance.” Dean smiled and the man, a slight hint of envy in his eyes. 

“Come in.” He said and stepped aside. Inside the house it was cold, most things were dark and there were no flowers. he wouldn’t be surprised if he smelled death. 

Once Dean sat, he started to ask questions. until he couldn’t help it anymore. 

“So, you home alone? I mean if your girlfriend is here I would like to ask her a few questions.” Dean asked casually. 

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” the man almost snapped. 

“Easy there, I just thought you had because you are so gentle.” Dean gave the man a sarcastic smile, he had everything he needed. 

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anonymous asked:

Could you do 2 and 13 from the prompt list with Eggsy?

Sure! These look like fun :) Sorry this took me so long, I don’t know what changed but I hardly ever have time to write anymore. Also, I really don’t think this is my best but I’m experiencing some weird block in getting what I have in mind onto the page. I don’t know what’s happening to me lately.

Night Off (Eggsy Unwin x Reader)

Summary: Apparently, it’s far too much to ask to want a quiet night to read your book in peace when you’re living with a certain Kingsman agent. You find that out pretty quickly on your first bit of time off.

Word Count: 1047

Prompts: 2. “Where are your pants?” 13. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

The rain outside prohibited you from really doing anything outside of the house–not that you were complaining–instead, you had finally started reading a book you had been planning to read for months. It was the first night you had been able to find the time. People insisted on making stupid decisions and trying to take over the world, unfortunately, so both you and your boyfriend were fairly busy.

Nevertheless, with a candle lit, a lamp on, and curling up on the couch, you settled down and opened up to the first page. Rapidly reading, you managed to get through the first three chapters before you felt the couch dip beside you from added weight. Soon after, your book was pulled from your hands.

“I was reading that,” you stated simply.

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Time for a story - If I didn’t have you

Originally posted by feilcityqueen

Felicity closed the door behind herself as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake up the kids. The house seemed to be dark apart from the light that came from the living room and she smiled quietly at the thought that she wasn’t alone or the only one awake. She dropped her keys in the bowl on the small table next to the door, put her purse to the topmost shelf of the wardrobe and her high heels to the bottommost step of the stairs, so she would remember taking them upstairs when she went to bed.

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anonymous asked:

i haven't read jared's chapter in the book, but your last post about jensen almost losing him caught my attention. did jared talk about being suicidal in his chapter?

he did. I read it the other day, and god it was so hard. I always suspected that we came really close to losing Jared back in May 2015, I just had this feeling that it was really really bad. I remember being at work when news came that Jared had dropped from Jibcon, and then his tweets asking for help, and I couldn’t concentrate all day long. god, I remember going to bed that same night thinking ‘god, don’t let me wake up to the worst news, please please.

I woke up to Jensen singing sweet home alabama and crying. and then there was that long radio silence from Jared, and god I remember being so fucking worried, I only relaxed a bit when I saw Jared at the Gilmore Girls reunion, he didn’t look 100% okay but god, he was alive and what a relief. I always felt somehow that it had been close. and Jared confirmed it, he said how he was ready to end it all when he went to Switzerland before he was scheduled to go to Rome. 

even typing that hurts, I just stopped for a couple minutes after finishing the last paragraph. Now I may start crying bc Jesus, I can’t even imagine that. 

funny that I’ve talked to Jared twice during autographs, once before May of 2015, before AKF, and one after. on the first time, which should have been the most emotional one since you know, was the first one, I was strangely calm, I talked to him just fine, it was nice and I was put together the whole time (I only cried afterwards). the second one, on august of 2016, I cried the entire time, I started on the line, talked to him crying, and cried even harder when he linked his fingers with mine, squeezing my hand. A proof that he was very much alive after everything. I mean, I knew of course that Jared was alive this entire time, but actually seeing him for the first time after all of that was so relieving. 

sorry, I got carried away, I just get emotional talking about Jared because he means a lot to me, and god I can’t put into words the amount of pain I’d feel if we had lost him on that May. that’s why I’m so happy about Jibcon, seeing Jared very much alive and happy, and also Jensen, is the best thing in the world.

we should all be very thankful to have Jared with us today, because it was close.

[The Kids Are Alright]

Prologue •

A/N: I couldn’t help myself, I got on board the Jackie x Hyde ship and can’t seem to get off it. I’ve had this idea sitting in my head for weeks - I am writing for a different fandom so I am definitely nervous to post >.< This story is a fix-it for Season 8 (WHICH SUCKED SO MUCH I’M STILL NOT OVER IT) and takes place towards the end of 1979 and into the 80s. There are a few events from Season 8 that are tied into the early chapters of the story. The prologue is set five months after the first chapter begins, but hopefully you’ll stick around to see how it all comes together in the end :) 

|| Masterlist || 

Originally posted by xoxoluyaxoxo


January 1, 1980 - Point Place, Wisconsin - Foreman’s Basement - 10:50 A.M. 

Steven Hyde watched as his room slowly spun around him, the images of his Led Zeppelin and Grateful Dead posters blurred into one another creating an abstract picture. Stuck between this dreamy trance and reality, Steven felt his entire body ache showing him exactly what the celebration of the New Year did to his physical state. 

As he gradually sat upright, his throbbing head sent shooting pains down his back and stirred the nausea in his stomach. He rubbed his tired eyes with his hand, before patting down his messy sheets to look for his glasses. 

Where the hell did I put ‘em? 

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Elemental, Chapter 3: Merman

So, I can’t leave this story alone.  It’s like I’m reading a book, and I really, really want to know what happens next–except that I can’t, until I write it.  So.  Have a third chapter in as many days.  I can’t promise to keep up this pace, and in fact, I can pretty much promise that I won’t.  But I hope you enjoy it while it lasts!

Chapter 1    Chapter 2     On AO3

Marinette blinked.  “Half…fish?”

Adrien’s eyes slid closed, and he took a slow, deep breath through his nose.  “Plagg, I swear, I am going to abandon you to the Nereids.”

“No you won’t.”  Plagg shrugged.  “You were going to spend all day swimming around it.  I saved you from yourself.”

“Wait-wait-wait, ‘half fish’?  As in—”

Adrien opened his eyes and sheepishly held up one hand, displaying the pale green webbing stretched between his fingers, as well as the narrow fin along his forearm, and hoping fervently that she wouldn’t be repulsed.   “Merman.”

Marinette’s eyes went round, riveted on his hand, and her mouth formed a perfect O of surprise.  Then her eyes moved slowly down his arm to the bend of his elbow, and then up, up to his shoulder, to his face.  She saw now the details she’d missed in her initial panic: the sheen of iridescent scales at his jaw and down his neck, the delicate points of his ears…the pronounced points of his teeth.

She felt a frisson of fear dance down her spine, until his eyes caught hers, and she saw in them the same gentle spirit that had always been there.

Merman,” she breathed, wonderingly. He still looked like himself, but he was also very clearly something exotic, something other. Somehow, because of that, he was even more beautiful now than she’d ever seen him before.  And considering how brain-meltingly attractive he’d been to begin with, that was saying something.

She raised her hand to touch him, but stopped with her fingers hovering just centimeters from his skin, blushing hotly.  “May I?”

He nodded mutely, pulling her closer to help support her in the water with a hand at her elbow, and she saw with a feeling of relief that he was blushing, too.  Somehow, that grounded her, and her fingers shook only a little as she ran them down the webbing between his splayed fingers. He shuddered at the touch, though, and she withdrew her hand quickly.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s alright,” he said, his blush deepening. “I’m just, ah, not used to being touched.  Go ahead.”

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//So while at the mall yesterday to upgrade my mobile phone (my 2 year plan had come due) I bought the book Call Me By Your Name, because of the clips and trailers I’d seen for it at the Toronto International Film Festival earlier this month. TIFF usually holds nothing for me but due to my recent interest in Armie Hammer, I was very interested to get into the CMBYN world.

Let me tell you in as few words as possible how emotionally compromised I’ve become, since waking today at 8am and reading the book start to finish in the period of about four hours:

I hadn’t meant to. I meant to start a chapter and get up for a walk, or make another cup of coffee on what was supposed to be a lazy Saturday morning, then go back and read another chapter, rinse and repeat. As I learned, the book has no real chapters, but a small group of clustered longings as described by the book’s narrator, the delightful Elio.

Cut to myself four hours into my morning; a cup of coffee gone stone cold on the table, the sun coming in through a window on the other side of the room, my back (and backside) aching from the same reclined position for so long. I had a desperate need to pee but couldn’t get up to do it because I had closed the book after reading the last page, and I was crying my goddamn eyes out.

Not out of sadness, because it hadn’t ended badly.

Out of sheer happiness and a mild sort of romantic sorrow reserved only for those who believe Shakespeare to be the greatest author in known history, or teenagers who believe love is eternal.

I’ll read it again, but I’ll also be looking to purchase the audiobook, which I’ve come to learn is being read by Armie Hammer himself. It’ll be just as much heartbreak and happiness to hear him speaking both Olivers’s lines, and Elio’s, as well as the rest of the amazing cast of characters, which I’ve come to appreciate just as closely.

I’ll also go to see the film when it’s finally released, because seeing these incredible people come to life will certainly be the death of me but will be so worth it after the emotional rollercoaster I–and others who enjoy the book–have certainly ridden out.

Read it if you get the chance. Have a pee and make a glass of iced tea or lemonade, so a hot cup of fresh coffee isn’t wasted. Make yourself comfortable on a decently-soft sofa or reading cushion.

It’s a good ride, darlings.


8 things finishing my 8th book taught me

*I wrote this post on the 16th of October, for the record!*

Hey People of Earth!

So just like in the post I wrote up in January when I finished my seventh novel, this is kind of nuts to say, and I didn’t think I’d be writing this for another month, but uh.

I finished my eighth book.


I’m going to quote past me in that particular post (which you can read HERE) because if this isn’t scary accurate, I dunno what is:

So I kind of made a stupid, somewhat fleeting goal this past Friday, as I usually do. And that was to finish this book at all costs.

It doesn’t *really* surprise me that that I finished my seventh novel, and then my eighth under the same parameters, lol. (Both were finished on Sunday nights too, I believe?)

I genuinely can’t believe this book is over. It’s been eight months of writing this novel (HA eight months for my eighth book) and I can say I’m genuinely so sad it’s over. I walked around today feeling like I lost an important part of myself which is really dramatic seeming as though I just finished the book, but I hope someone out there relates.

I started this book right after finishing my seventh novel (book four in this series), and I’ll be honest–I was so scared about writing this book. Book seven gave me a really hard time, and I almost thought I’d made a mistake in a) continuing this story and b) taking it in the direction I did. I couldn’t evade fear when writing this novel. Starting it took me a while because it was so nerve-wracking to think it could be as much of a struggle as the last. I didn’t want to fail because I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to pull myself out of that rut, and then end up with an unfinished series.

Annnnnnd then I started my Doing the Write Thing updates, and all of that worry faded a bit. I started DtWT at a little under 10k words, and reached a little under 160k through that series. It kept me accountable. It excited me, and more than anything, motivated me. I know I mentioned this in DtWT #61, but thank you again for supporting that series so much, and for reading those posts. Genuinely, it means a lot to share my work with you, and to see my work improve as each post passes. I really don’t know if I would’ve finished this novel without that series. It really kicked me into the gear of writing again, and gahhhh, thank you again.

FOSTERED #5 houses some of my best work, but most importantly, taught me so, so much, and so, here I bring to you, eight things finishing my eighth novel taught me.

1. I really care about writing.

This is my eighth book, and I can confidently say this is the only one in which I cared about the writing from start to finish. (Sounds strange, but I’ll explain.)While writing is a lot of things, at its core, writing is writing, and it took me eight books to really immerse myself in words and enjoy using them as tools to create something beautiful. I crave beautiful prose—a desire I didn’t really feel until writing this book. Making sentences read and sound like art is what I strive for now. 

From books 1-6, writing wasn’t my top priority. Telling a story no matter the quality was my priority, and while that isn’t wrong, I think working with that mindset for so long wasn’t becoming enough for me. I needed to re-evaluate, and really focusing on the craft of writing, rather than storytelling was what I needed. Of course, writing also includes good storytelling, but I feel, looking back on it, that until halfway around book seven, I didn’t even think about the writing. I didn’t edit it all that much, and most importantly, didn’t care about writing. I liked words, yeah, and enjoyed creating the random nice sentence here and there, but I didn’t view it as something I could use to create art. Now, good writing means a lot to me, and while I don’t think my writing is perfect, and could use improvement, I’m so happy with the improvement I’ve made and the love of actual writing I’ve procured start-to-finish through it. :)

2. Sometimes acceptance takes time.

Book four of this series (my seventh novel) took me a very, very long time to accept, and even after I’d written it, I wasn’t confident in the route I’d taken it. I still had the same worries when writing book five and it took a whole lot of crying to realize that I’m very proud of how these last two books turned out. I’m an emotional person, but don’t often show my emotions, so it’s sort of funny looking back how much I cried when writing this book, HA. I had a lot of worries about this novel, and my anxiety was eating me alive every time I wrote it. That was my issue in the beginning, but I found, the more time went on in writing this book, the more I accepted it, and the more I grew to really love it. So, if you’re in a position like me, and you’re seriously not feeling your book, sometimes time is the best remedy.

3. Moments like these are the ones you need to cherish.

When I was writing the last paragraph or so of this book, I got really emotional (lol how do I say that without sounding melodramatic). I didn’t cry or anything, but it felt like I was losing something. It was bittersweet. I’ve never felt this way before when I’ve finished a novel. It’s honestly usually been me moving onto the next book the same day or the next day, or feeling content.

But this… was something else. It was letting go of something I loved so much. I learned through this book that every time you write your book is time you should cherish. It’s something you spend a chunk of your life on. Moments happen around your book, and your book is there with you to experience them. This book in particular holds such a strong place in my heart because it gave me–as cheesy as it sounds lol rip–some new hope.

I learned to love the book I write when I write it even if it’s a pain. To cherish my time with this book, and to take my time. It hurt to finish it, honestly, I guess it’s particularly angsty for me to say I feel this grief for something that hasn’t left me. I’m so glad it’s done, but it was like closing the door to a chapter I didn’t want to end. It had to end in that spot, rightfully so, but I wanted to hang onto it for as long as I could. I genuinely appreciate every moment I had to write this book, looking back. And I’m so happy I learned so much through it.

4. Taking your time isn’t a bad thing.

This sort of bounces off that last one, but this is a lesson I learned the hard way. My average drafting time before I wrote my seventh book was 3 months. This book, as I mentioned, took me eight months, and before then, the longest it’d taken me to write a novel was six months, and that was the hardest book I’d ever written. A big issue I had when I was writing book four in this series was that I felt as if taking three months longer than my average to draft was a telling sign that I was struggling with the book. I can pretty much say writing this novel was a bit of a breeze (it had its moments, but overall), and taking my time helped in terms of quality. A disclaimer, the time it takes to write a book varies from writer to writer, so this is completely personal, but I feel like taking a little longer writing this book realllyyyyyyy amped it up in the prose department.

Not to roast past me, but yooooo my older books lacked a lottttttttt of literary merit, like where is the good writing cuz I see none, lol. Not to say this book is amazing and the writing is excellent, but I do see a substantial improvement from my older stuff. So yes, initially when I started writing this book I was keen on finishing it in three months and rushing it so I could just be done and write something else. But as time went on, I realized that there is no rush. Even though I constantly feel at rush in my life (for mental health reasons I don’t want to get into now, but if you’re curious, let me know!), I learned to take it slow. Enjoy the writing process, and create something at the end of the day, regardless of how long it takes.

5. I’m growing up.

A common question I posed while writing this book to myself and to my sister was well where did all the fun times go? Books 1-3 in this story are pretty juvenile—more banter between characters, ‘missions’, and so on, but as I aged, I found those things dried up and turned into just straight melancholy? (lol) I don’t have many if any fun times in book five, not in the sense I defined fun times as at least in the past. This series has spanned five books, and three years of my life, so I’ve done a lot of growing up since writing the first one. Its message and morals have gone from super obvious to pretty ambiguous, and the lines of morality have been blurred quite a bit (which I enjoy incorporating into my writing now). Right and wrong aren’t as easily spotted (and tbh this book is totallllyyyyy not suited for a YA audience lol content is hella graphic but), and a lot of it is rooted in the darkest corners of the human mind. I don’t know if 13-year-old me would’ve expected these books to wind up in this path, but 16-year-old me is cool with where it is. I left a lot of me in these books, and pretty much grew up with them. It’s strange to have captured so much growth of myself personally in these novels, but this is already something I’ve learned to cherish.

6. I might actually be a true Pantser (but we’ll see)

So if any of you have been following this blog since the good ol’ 2015 days, it’s common knowledge that I made it clear I was a Pantser. I pantsed everyyyythiiiiingggg. In recent years, I’ve decided to start outlining projects I plan on publishing (for the most part, excluding ALANNIS) just so I can see what I’m getting into before I start. The FOSTERED series, since it’s all personal stuff, isn’t going to be published. I pants these books, but occasionally, and I found this happened a lot more with book five, I’ll write up ‘scene screenplays’ which are basically just the bones of a scene.

OH did I find out that writing with a guideline does noooottttt work for me. I’m not going to say anything here is permanent, but I pretty much realized my writing with my outline VS without one is drastically different… I’m not actually happy about this discovery to be honest, as I’ve already started outlining a couple projects, and the struggle was so real when writing with an outline for this novel. I really do hope this is not the case, and was just subjective to this book, but yes, this was a major lesson I picked up on when writing this particular book (and I reallllllllyyyyyyyy hope this changes)!

7. I like writing really sad, dark things

This is sorta morbid, I’m sorry, but I’m really into writing all things dark and upsetting and overall, enjoy a darker tone in my writing. I noticed, if I had any ‘happier’ scene, it’d take me a little longer to write/I had more trouble writing it. Don’t know what that says about me, but as someone who is sort of naturally on the darker side (edgy af the edge is real), it makes sense that I do enjoy the not so pleasant sides of the mind, and life. Or, I’m just really angsty, and angst (poetic angst in this book, I’ll say) is all you need. Love is all you need more like angst is all you need.

Originally posted by psychedelic-people


I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with enjoying writing darker things, and I noted that I often struggle writing joy. Honestly this is just sad, lol. (But I mean look at my boi Edgar, he wrote lots of dark things and I mean that’s my dude now speaking of Edgar, the epigraph of this novel [which I’m including, even if the others don’t because epigraphs are aesthetic goals] is an Edgar quote and Edgar is my bro.)

8. I love this book so much, and if I could go back and tell myself I would have when I started it, I would.

I worried a lot when I started this novel. I worried it would fail, that it would get nowhere, that it would end unfinished, that I’d taken it the wrong route, that it would take too long to write, that I wouldn’t enjoy what I was writing, that the plot was dumb, that I focused on the wrong things, that the first chapter wasn’t strong enough, and a whole other laundry list of worries pretty common between writers. I really would go back to my past self and tell her not to worry. To tell her that just because she wrote this book and said she wouldn’t, doesn’t mean the product would be shitty. I’m genuinely proud of this novel, and I don’t know if I’ve said that in a long time. I’m happy I wrote it. Happy I poured eight months of my life into it, and most importantly, am happy it taught me so many valuable lessons. I’m happy I got to connect with you on another level through it, and happy I carried it with me through this stage of my life. It saw my hatred, and my worst moments, my great moments, my worry, and every other emotion I also tried to share on here. Books are books, but this one felt like a friend. I’m sad to lose my friend now, but I’m thankful for the time we spent together. This got all sappy again, but yes. Thank you, book. I will miss writing you, lol.

So that’s it for today’s post. I had a blast writing this. It’s always a nice reflective period to go back in time and really point out what exactly I learned through this journey. I think this novel shaped me a lot as a writer, and I’m happy to move into other projects without it, because I feel like I know a lot more than I did before. Thank you for being on this journey with me, and for reading through everything that happened in these last eight months. I truly appreciate everything you give me, and couldn’t express my thanks enough.

Aaaaand before I leave, a mega thanks to my dudes who continuously supported this journey: @sarahkelsiwrites, @sssoto and @shaelinwrites for listening, encouraging, and teaching me so many things about writing.

See you in the next one. :)


ACOWAR Re-Read: Final Thoughts

In a nice numbered list!

  1. I’m glad that I re-read the book. I was able to find more that I enjoyed about it the second time through, and it gave me a good chance to think about my criticisms and why they upset me in the first place.
  2. That said, it still felt like … a drag to get through. Pacing was a huge problem in this book, and I seriously think if that major problem had been fixed, some of the other issues might have gone with it.
  3. I’m still very frustrated that Lucien was written out of the book halfway through. I wasn’t satisfied that he got a full arc out of the parts he was in, and his trauma was hardly addressed at all. So, generally, I’m not happy with the way Lucien was treated.
  4. I liked the Feysand moments better the second time through, but I still maintain what I said about wanting more conflict between them. 
  5. I feel ripped off that we didn’t see Feyre’s experience in the Ouroboros. It was a lot of build-up with not enough payoff, especially given that the Bone Carver makes very little difference in the final battle. 
  6. Cassian was the best part of the book, hands-down, to the point where I almost wonder if he’s a little too perfect? I just really don’t feel like complaining about it though because so much else went wrong.
  7. I maintain my feelings about this book needing two or three more rounds of edits, minimum. When you’re dealing with a project this big, it needs the TLC to really shine. I’m sad thinking about what this could have been if it had been given the extra time to mature. I would have happily waited. 
  8. In previous books, I didn’t mind that the magic system wasn’t fully developed or explained, but in this one, that weakness really started to show. There was a deus ex machina every time you blinked, and there were always exceptions to the rules, and that made everything frustration because you never had to worry if characters would be able to make it work. They just always did. 
  9. I’m disappointed in the King of Hybern as a villain. There wasn’t much to him at all. Amarantha was far more interesting and compelling, so it’s hard to consider this guy a step up. 
  10. There were some notable, if clunky, improvements in diversity, and I have to give some credit for that if even she arguably botched some of it. 
  11. While tonally I’m happy with the denouement and the closing of the book, there were too many frustrating things about those last chapters in particular. It kept me from being totally satisfied with the ending, and I resent that a bit. I really want to enjoy this, especially the ending, but there was just too much poor craft and awkwardness in the way. This makes me sad more than anything.

Total Count of “Oh Shit” Moments (moments where I stopped reading because I was impressed/surprised/eager to find out what was happening): 4, and this is low for an SJM book for me. 

Total Rhys Lean Count: 8 (I’m being generous–could be 9 but I didn’t count the bridge or table lean as full points)

Total Count of Rhysurrection Foreshadowing Injuries: 7 (this is a lot when you’re foreshadowing the same event)

Overall, I maintain my 2/5 star rating. While I did enjoy it more the second time through, the weaknesses were still too prominent to earn a higher rating from me. I’m sad to have to say that to the follow-up of ACOMAF, but in this case it seems SJM couldn’t top herself. It’s not the end of the world, and it’s also only my opinion. I’m happy for those who did enjoy this book and I’m sorry I can’t be among you. 

That’s a wrap on ACOWAR for me, but we’ll see what fic possibilities lie in my future … 

anonymous asked:

How about Chocobros S/O making a deal with the Six - they would give half of her lifespan in order for Noctis and others to survive in the end. How would boys react?

(Aaaaa I got really sad while writing this, but it was fun. I’ve never written post-skip boys before. Enjoy! Also, spoiler warning!)

Noctis - When he wakes up on the last day before he goes to the rubble of Insomnia, he’d see his S/O sitting by the extinguished campfire, knees hugged to their chest and breath heavy. He’d rush out, wrapping an arm around their shoulder. “What’s wrong? C'mon, you’re gonna be fine. We’re going to be fine.” They’d bury their face in his chest and begin to sob, trying to push words out through their crying. “I know you’re going to be fine.” He’d be so confused, trying to understand what they meant. “I found a book a few years ago, and one of the chapters was on-… on how to contact the Six and ask for a deal. Last night, I… you’re not going to die today.” Noctis would be speechless. He’d pull them close to him, still completely shocked at what they’d said. He’d find out about the particulars, that they would now live for only about twenty more years, and he would live for more than that. He’d have a massive respect for them, even more than before. This is a difficult thing for anyone to do. He’d get them to come with him during the battle, and afterwards, when they were all trying to catch their breath, Noctis alive against all odds, he would simply cry. He’d hold them close to his chest, stroking their hair as they both fell to their knees in a mixture of exhaustion, happiness and looming fear of what they had decided to do just so he could live. He would spend their last 20 years rebuilding Insomnia with everyone, but any time he felt annoyed with the work he was doing, he would remind himself that he was living on borrowed time. When his S/O finally died, he would make sure to tell the story of their sacrifice to his children, their children, making sure his love was remembered for what they were: the reason he was around to rebuild the world, the reason he was able to rule. The true reason he was alive, in more ways than one.

Prompto - Everyone would wake with heavy hearts, knowing that this would be the last time they would all be together as the group they had been since their journey began over 10 years ago. When he sees his S/O standing with glazed eyes, immovable, he would be terrified. “I can’t lose you, too, oh my Gods, no, please, say you’re okay, please-” when they snap out of it and fall to the ground, tears welling up in their eyes, Prompto would be half relieved, half concerned. “What’s wrong? What happened?” When they told him what they had done, that none of the boys would be perishing that day, they had made sure of that by begging the Six to take some of their life to ensure they could all live through the fight, he would just break. His eyes would widen, and he’d begin to sob uncontrollably. “No, no, you couldn’t… Please, no… They’re worth it, I’m not! Please, we have to be able to take it back… you’re not going to die… you can’t…” They’d sit there for ages, holding each other, them trying to stop Prompto from trying to take back at least his end of the deal. After the battle was over, he would constantly feel unworthy. He’d obviously feel grateful, but the fact that they did that for him makes him feel bad about dating them. He’d make sure to make their last few years as comfortable as possible, making a photo album of their time together. He’d be by their side, holding their hand as they passed on, whispering “Thank you.”

Ignis - He’d wake up to the feeling of his S/O grabbing his hand, and a damp patch on his shoulder. He’d pull them close and ask them what was wrong, trying his best to comfort them despite his blind state. “I’m sorry… I was desperate, I didn’t know what I was doing, I just couldn’t watch you all die, I couldn’t, I-” he’d calm them down and get them to explain, but as soon as they did he would, which is very rare for him, cry. They would lie together for a while, then try and explain the situation to the boys. After the battle had happened, he would constantly tell them how grateful he was, and how much he respected them. He would make sure they were always happy, even though as a high ranking official he now had duties to attend to. He would spend as much time as possible memorising their voice, and the feel of their hands. In reality, they’ve aged somewhat and are on their deathbed, but as they slip off he tells them how he’ll remember them as gorgeous and full of life, like they were the first time they met. He’d visit their grave often, and if they had children, they’d accompany him, as he told them the story of a brave and strong person he’d once known, who made the ultimate sacrifice for him and his friends. They wouldn’t mention that they saw him let a few tears slip as as he placed a bouquet of their favourite flowers under a stone that read “A noble and strong friend, victorious soldier and loving partner.”

Gladio - At first, he would be angry. He’d yell at them, “No! How stupid are you?! I swear to the Gods…” he’d have to walk away and cool off. But when he saw them crying, mumbling about how they just wanted to keep them all safe, he’d walk over and kiss their forehead, pulling them to his chest. He’d mutter a mixture of thank you’s and apologies, rocking them back and forth in the cold early morning. After the final fight, he’d try to be normal with them, but would always end up being gentle, as if they were were a fragile porcelain doll. He’d often stay up late, watching them sleep, wondering how long they really have. When they do die, he’d rage and cry, comfort from his sister wouldn’t do anything, he’d spend months isolating himself and mourning. When they had the funeral, he’d be appointed as general. At the service, he’d try to keep composed as he awarded the highest military rank to his darling, for sacrificing themself for the sake of the king. He’d keep the badge on their favourite jacket, hung up in his wardrobe for him to take out sometimes, just remembering the shape of them, their smile, their eyes.

Driving Miss Sansa

submitted by @jonsaforlife for @jonsa-creatives Summer Challenge

Day 4 (13 Jul): Hazy Days

“This gloomy weather is just insufferable. I can’t imagine it’s summer already. It’s so foggy outside, I can hardly see the garden from here! Oh summer sun where art thou?” Arya huffed as she laid on the velvet lounge in the new beaded dress that Gendry had gifted her from Kings Landing.

“Oh I do wish you would stop groaning about the weather, Arya. It’s perfectly cool today, wonderful for a walk don’t you think?” Sansa chided her sister as she walked to the large windows that overlooked the fountains. Indeed, it was foggy and quite a sad sight, especially on a Saturday morning in the middle of July.

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‘Take a Breath- Part 2′ Drake x MC fan fiction

Thank you to everyone that read part 1! I love reading fan fiction, I love that someone has created something with characters you love, and filled the ‘moments in between’. So this is attempt number 2 for me at fan fiction. Just FYI, I’m VERY new to this, and spend most my real life in a toddler-induced sleep deprived state, so there’s plenty of typos etc.

Parts 1 and 2 were written as I personally felt that after the scene in the Beaumont study and the interaction between Drake and MC at the coronation ball, SOMETHING must have been happening!?! There is so many things that they needed to acknowledge, both together and mentally. So this is my take on how things went down. It’s a bit angsty but how can it not be? As much as the last chapter of TRR annoyed me, at least we can hopefully have a guilt free option in Drake in book 2.  I hope you enjoy.

Rating: M

I don’t own the characters, but I wish I owned Drake



Tears cling to her lashes, and I can hear her sharp intake of breath as she processes my declaration that yes, that night where we gave into the passion, and pressed as close as we could clothed, meant everything. And nothing. As she exhales, I see the moment she registers that nothing can change, and her eyes harden with resignation.
I raise my hand, and gently wipe the tears away with my thumbs and pull her close, saying a silent goodbye in my head. My chin rests on her hair, my stubble teasing it into an even more untameable mess. Her theatrics from flinging herself on the bed earlier have loosened her signature front plait, and I find myself absentmindedly combing my fingers through the ends. The light scent of her shampoo teases my senses and I know that saying goodbye to her will stay with me forever, never knowing what could, and should be.
‘It’s not enough, is it Drake?’ she sighs. She knows there’s no response either of us will like so I just pull her closer, keeping silent, savouring the feel of her delicate frame enveloped in mine. It’s cruel that she fits so perfectly, our bodies moulding to accommodate the other so naturally.
'I messed up bad tonight, I can’t think how to fix this’. I feel the tell tale signs of sobs beginning to quake her shoulder until she suddenly jerks away, straightens up and wipes her face carelessly on the back of her hand. The tears held back make her eyes glitter, and I feel like I can actually hear, not just feel, the snap as a piece of me breaks away and attaches itself to her, to Riley forever. She’s never looked more beautiful, in grief she’s utterly heart-breaking, hair astray and her minimal makeup washed clean from her face.
'I know that you think this can never happen between us, and I know why, but I need you to understand one thing.’ She looks to me, waiting for my permission for her to continue. I nod, there’s not a lot more I can bring myself to do at this point.
'After the meteor shower, I knew. I knew that Liam would never have the effect that you do on me.’ She takes another breath, calming the tears that are threatening to leak, and I’m helpless to do anything but wait for her to regain her composure, both willing her to stop, yet needing her to finish.


'I nearly left that night, but I stayed, I had a plan!’ I laugh bitterly, not finding the situation or the naivety of my past self remotely humorous.
'I’ve distanced myself from Liam ever since, hoping that he will choose another, and we would be free to explore what we are. I didn’t see any other way you would consider us an option’. It made sense to me at the time. If I didn’t actively compete, how could he possibly pick me over the others?
I’ve maintained eye contact with Drake the entirety of my little speech, knowing this is goodbye, but needing him to know that I chose him. Needing him to know that it’s all been for him, and that until my ridiculous stunt at the spa, I was never playing games, that maybe even my plan would have worked. His face has softened, his mouth agape, the usual walls in place having slipped as he processes my words, my declaration. All of a sudden, he closes the gap between us, cradling the back of my neck in one hand as he lowers his mouth to hover just in front of mine, and I place my palms on his broad, defined chest, anticipating his next move. It’s intoxicating, like standing at the edge of a cliff, knowing how close you are to the next step being your last.
'Tanner, what are you doing to me?’ he mutters, prolonging the moment. Impatient I make the choice, and the rest of the journey to his lips, myself. We start slow, exploring each others mouths gently, teasing, tasting, savoring each kiss like it’s the last. My hands roam his chest, his back, his arms, god his arms, their definition alone inflaming my desire further. He is much more hesitant, sticking to my hips, playing it safe, holding back, always cautious, afraid I’m more breakable than I actually am. I bite his lower lip, needing more and I feel him thrust into me in response. He groans, and my body arches into his with a cry, attuned to his wants. We’re no longer thinking, just being, as if its only us in the world.
He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his back, pushing his hardness closer, aching at how ready he is for me.
'Tanner! You need to slow down.’ his eyes are closed, and I cant help but push myself against him again, eliciting a throaty rumble from him.
He lowers me down, and I’m vaguely aware I’m perched on the antique dressing table, not caring as trinkets hit the floor in a domino fashion. He trails kisses down my neck, and finally, finally one of his hands makes its way up to my breast, under my dress, massaging firmly until he pinches one of my nipples. Pleasure rips through me as I hiss, my hips buck, and legs widen, giving him unspoken permission to move closer, my body completely under his control. I’m delirious, I’m panting, and internally begging him to continue. We’re still fully clothed, and I’ve never been this turned on in my life. I start to tug at his waistband, undoing his belt, wanting so much more with every touch, and I start to lower his trousers. Then he abruptly stops kissing me, and steps away.
'What the hell Drake?’ I’m breathless with pure need, for him, all of him, mind body and soul.
'I can’t Riley, I want to, I mean, fuck, I want to. Do you even know what this is doing to me right now? To stop, well now’. I see him adjust himself in his trousers and I let out a frustrated squeak.
'Talk about blue balls!’ I mutter.
'Liam could still pick you Riley! Hell, I think he will, I mean, you spent tonight with him!’. His voice breaks, and he begins pacing, looking everywhere but me. I’m regretting smashing the only bottle of whiskey, knowing that I could definitely do with one after his speedy change of heart and the reminder that more than one set of lips have been on mine tonight. The moment our connection was broken, the uncertainties of the situation came rushing back into the room to play.
'What do I do then Drake? Do you want me to marry him? End us? Or be my dirty little secret?’ his face pales, sickened with the idea of being unfaithful behind Liam’s back. I have to admit, I’d only thrown it in to try and reiterate the gravity of the situation if I married his best friend. Any moral compass I thought I possessed was obliterated around Drake.


My stomach clenches at the thought of being 'the other man’ and betraying Liam like that. There is literally no outcome in which we can be together without destroying Liam. Urghh, I feel utterly disgusted with myself and I resume my pacing, knowing there’s only one outcome I can live with, and therefore I force myself to say what needs to be said, finally pausing to look at her directly so she believes me.
'I care for you Tanner, but this has got too messy. I don’t want what you want, I don’t want marriage, to settle down, I don’t want you like that.’ I almost choke on the lie and I see her reel in shock and disbelief.
'Listen, about what’s just happened, I’m attracted to you and we have a similar background, but that’s all, it’s not worth breaking hearts over. That’s why I stopped…that. You’re in deeper than me, I don’t want to use you.’

That’s not why I stopped at all, I broke our encounter before I fell for her any harder than I have, because with Riley, a taste would never be enough. My body and my actions were beginning to betray me. I held back because I would have ended up making love to her, and I’m not sure I understood the difference between that and sex until we nearly took that step. I also know if we had crossed that line, I’d never be able to let her go, ever. I need her to believe my lies, I’ve hardened my gaze, dug out the scowl, and put the walls back up, because her continuing as Liam’s suitor is the only way we have any chance of getting out of this mess hurting the minimal amount of people.
'I don't…I don’t believe you Drake’ she stutters, and the resolve I’m holding on to is wavering as her gaze attempts to penetrate my armour.I look away.
'What you should believe is that Liam loves you far more than I ever could, and he want’s to give you the world. Going to the coronation and carrying on as normal is the only option’. She turns her back to me, and picks out some nightwear from the dresser, studiously ignoring me for several minutes, until she begins to head to the bathroom.
'It’s been a long night Drake, maybe you should just leave now.’ I nod stiffly, and make my way to the door. Every step away from her is agonizing. All I want to do is hold her, touch her, mark every inch of her as mine. I want to memorize every freckle, caress every smile with my lips, I want to call her mine.  

anonymous asked:

If jonerys is truly going to happen, dont you find curious the fact that grrm swtched arya with daenerys, for jon final love interes? It could have been even Sansa since she is more close to his age, yet he choose the girl from the end of the world, whom jon never met. Maybe it was because plot? I like both jonerys and jonrya, but is still an interesting changing.

Hey anon,

Well, did you mean Sansa is closer in age to Jon in comparison to Arya? Anyhow, it doesn’t matter. I think the change to Daenerys was made pretty early in the book 1. GRRM had initially written 13 chapters for AGOT when he was first trying to get the book published. I think the more romantic clues for Arya and Jon are in those chapters. But, I think once he went back to actually write the book, he had made the choice to switch to Daenerys. 

Perhaps he began to realize the potential for the relationship and the natural parallels that were developing. Beginning with the two of them being stuck in remote corners of the world. I mean, it was early enough, that when HOTU came along mid-way through Book 2, Jon was foreshadowed as Dany’s last husband. So, yeah it’s been on the working for some time. 

I think the natural parallels between the two, their closeness in ae (Jon is 8 months older than Dany), their shared Targaryen ancestry made for a more interesting story. And I have to agree. 


You’re like the book. When the last chapter is finished, you need to close it and start the new one. I find myself turning back the pages, somewhere stuck in the middle, reading the old sentences, words you said and promises we made. Why is it so hard to let it go? Throw the book deep down the ocean and let it wash the pages with words that were never meant to last.


Give My Love to Huckleberry Finn - Part Seven

Cece didn’t wake until noon. Harry was still fast asleep, so she quietly slipped out of Louis’ cot and climbed down the ladder. The barn doors were open; Louis must’ve come in at some point. When she went around the barn to use the outhouse, she saw him knelt in the fields, a brimmed hat on his head to block out the sun, which was big and bright that day.

           Another half hour went by before Harry began to stir. Cece sat on Louis’ cot, rereading her favorite passages from Huck Finn to pass the time. When she heard him let out a little groan, she put the book aside and knelt down beside his bed.

           “Harry? You okay?”

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