and she's the only sane person in these games

Day 5: In Public

More Nessian smut for smut week!  As always, my enabler, @accidental-rambler is getting tagged.  And @fanfantasticworld.  I hope you enjoy!

              They didn’t set out to have sex in the public bathroom at the zoo.

              Really, that isn’t something that any sane  person would set out to accomplish, and while Nesta oftentimes wasn’t sure about the state of Cassian’s sanity, she herself was very, very sane.

              She didn’t even really want to go to the zoo, to be honest.

              She had been perfectly content with the state of her relationship with Cassian.  They met, they fought, they had angry, bed breaking sex.  She would let him cuddle her for a few minutes in the afterglow – the only time that Nesta didn’t feel perpetually angry – and then leave and continue on with her life.

              Then Cassian changed the game.

              He decided to grow attached.

              And somehow, Nesta ended up agreeing to a date.  At the zoo.  The freaking zoo.  Nesta didn’t even particularly like the zoo.  That was more of an Elain thing.

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i think the saddest part of the GAME OVER timeline is just how long those kids were doomed.

the condemnation happened from the moment Vriska died, right? but the session didn’t officially “doom” until Aranea stole the ring, except even if she hadn’t done that, a lot of characters might have died anyway.

so these characters spent years and years waiting to just end up pre-dooming a session.

thats 3 years of depressing dreambubble travel, 3 years of rose becoming anxious about lost humanity, 3 years of terezi hiding from her friends, 3 years of dave and davesprite being confused about their identities, 3 years of jade taking shit from him and john,  3 years of karkat beating himself up over tz or gamzee or both, and 3 years of kanaya realizing shes probably the only sane person left alive.

the alpha kids, who have been waiting for 6 months, have no idea what’s coming.

then they arrive, and they die.

left to piece what’s left of their friendships back together in the afterlife.

Things I have learned from Grey (part 3/?)

1. Someone remind me why I thought this was a good idea
2. Oh yes, wait, I never thought it was a good idea, I just like to suffer
3. The writing is so choppy, it’s very difficult to read. Imagine someone trying to play a violin with a chainsaw. It hurts my eyes and ears.
4. I had blocked all the “miss Steele – mr. Grey” shitfest. I knew there was a reason I wanted to burn those books.
5. “A” reason, she says, laughing hysterically as she sobs
6. “I want to fuck her again, preferably after breakfast, but if she’s too sore that will be out of the question. Perhaps I could use her mouth this time.” – how about you ask her first before making plans, mister
7. I’ve said this before, I’ll say it again – soap does not taste well. How someone can give a blowjob when the…um… OH I KNOW “velvet wrapped steel” (bonus points to whoever catches the reference) is covered in soap and not gag immediately, is beyond me
8. “you get an A in oral skills” – so. Cheesy. Lord. Save. Me
9. “my lips in hot pursuit” – need for speed hot pursuit (it’s a hella good game fight me)
10. Advice for the future: when an author releases the same novel from a different PoV, just skip it. It’s insanely boring and tedious and just no. Don’t do it. Save yourself time and annoyance and brain cells
11 “Her roommate would have my balls if she knew my real intentions.” – yes because Kate is the only sane person in this entire fucking series
12. The chapters are soooo looong fml
13. I have no more patience for this shit
15. “How could she dismiss me so easily? Maybe I should pay her a visit, just to make sure it’s a “no.” Maybe I can persuade her otherwise.” – Christian doesn’t understand the concept of a person saying no to him. If you read these sentences, they’re fucking creepy. How could she dismiss me so easily = how dare she reject me. Maybe I should pay her a visit, just to make sure it’s a no = I need to put more pressure on her. Maybe I can persuade her otherwise = I will not be rejected.
18. “From my messenger bag I take some condoms and slide them into the back pocket of my pants” – for all he knows, she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore (remember, he doesn’t know she was actually playing a prank on him). HE TAKES CONDOMS WITH HIM. TO SEE SOMEONE WHO HAS ALREADY TOLD HIM NO.
19. Oh my god, this is so problematic, I’m having an existential crisis
20. Is god real are all men pigs
21. Christian to himself because he likes having such long and meaningful conversations with his inner…god? Asshole? Dick? Split personality?: “You’re here because you think it’s a “no.” – if you thought it was a no you should have respected her choice fml fml fml
22. This book is giving me a headache and diseases
23. “she’s wearing sweats. Perhaps she’s been for a run this evening” – yeah, sure, because that’s the only acceptable reason a person should wear sweats
24. Clearly this author hasn’t come to my hours during all hours of day and night
25. Sweats is my middle name. Actually, it’s Angela, but whatever
26. “Taking a sip of wine, I lean down and kiss her, pouring the wine into her mouth.” – so grosssssssss
27. I know I’m a 5 year old, but seriously
28. Ew
29. I’m not even halfway through what is this shit
30. I’m not reading the contract again fuck this
31. My sanity is bye bye
32. “And she’ll have the opportunity to socialize with other men? She’ll realize what she’s missing.” – oh my god how fucked up is this I can’t even
33. Nah I’ve had enough
34. I’m not even half way through
35. Someone better pay me for this I swear to cow

Part 1  Part 2

Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed masterpost