and she's sooooo cute!

6

#so smol
#so pure

Okay but I love the idea of vampires having trouble with daily life do to the age/period in which they were turned

•"Of course I’m grateful that nice vampire turned me before I starved to death in the potato famine, it’s just hard looking six years old for all eternity. I’m 118 and I can’t even go to the liquor store. All I want is a stiff scotch to go with the trump supporter I’m having for dinner.“
•"It’s annoying my boyfriend and I can’t even hold hands or kiss outside the house. I know that I look fifteen and he looks thirty, but I’m actually a century older. People think I’m his son. It’s degrading.”
•"Do you know how hard it is for a trans vampire to get some damn testosterone when I was born before social security numbers? Black market hormones are expensive.“
•"My best friend and I both grew up speaking Spanish, but I’m two hundred years younger, so sometimes it’s hard to understand each other. It took four hundred years for them to stop calling me a child.”
•"I adore my wife, but sometimes I get so jealous. She has a thick midsection with a glorious ample waistline and I look like a dressmaker’s mannequin because I had to wear corsets ‘til the day I was turned.“
•"I get so annoyed with all the reporters whenever I compete in a sporting event. A guy who looks 80 wins the Boston marathon and all the sudden raw meat is the new fitness diet.”
•"I hate how often fashions change. I go on a shopping spree and in no time at all I’m getting weird looks for wearing leg warmers to a concert!“
-“Rose, the eighties were twenty years ago.”
-“I set my alarm for the new millennium. It’s not my fault it ran out of batteries! You should have woken me up! I missed the party, Jane. You know I love parties!”
-“How many times have I told you- I GOT DISTRACTED IN PRAGUE!”
-“I’m still mad you didn’t bring that princess back with you. She was sooooo cute! What’s the point of polyamory if you leave the good ones across the pond?”
-“I tried Rose. I caused a national security scandal, remember?”

Double Take | Part 2 | PETER PARKER X READER

Description: After Peter realizes that he likes the reader, Ned tells him that the only way for him to start acting normal around her again is for him to tell her. This is proven to be difficult because Peter being, well Peter, is unable to muster up the courage to do so. Instead, the reader’s friendly neighborhood Spiderman pays her a visit.

Author’s Note: So I was lying earlier when I said that part 2 would be the last part. I’m notoriously bad at wrapping up stories though so this shouldn’t be surprising to me really. Anyways I’d like to give a special thanks to @lunastarwatcher​ for bouncing ideas with me and as always I hope you enjoy this fic.

Word Count: 2263

Part 1| Part 3


“So (Y/N),” Ned drawled out as he sat down across from his friends at their lunch table. “Peter tells me that there’s a boy you’re trying to impress.”

(Y/N) put her water bottle down and looked at Peter, who was sitting to the right of Ned. “And you wonder why I refused to tell you his name,” she said with a smug smile.

“That among other reasons,” Michelle mumbled under her breath, but not quiet enough that (Y/N) couldn’t hear her.

“Michelle,” (Y/N) said in a warning tone.

She waved her hand dismissively. “Yea, Yea, I’m not going to say anything.”

Peter looked at Michelle with a raised eyebrow “Wait, you know who he is?” She nodded absentmindedly, turning the page of her book. “You told her and not me?” Peter asked (Y/N) shocked.

(Y/N) snorted. “Are you really surprised Pete? I already told you that you can’t keep a secret so…”

“I too can keep a secret,” Peter retorted in a small voice, not looking (Y/N) in the eye.

Ned raised his hand and patted Peter on the back. “I can vouch for him (Nickname). He can keep secrets. You’d be surprised.”

Peter sat up straight and looked over at Ned with a smile. “That’s literally exactly what I said,” he said, raising his hand enthusiastically for a high-five.

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