and she's never into characters like ever

anonymous asked:

Please, watch 2x15 as soon as possible.

My summary of 2x15:

- Sebastian is not a Good Dude, but must he be so god damn enticing whilst being a Not Good Dude
- Clary is without doubt the most annoying character I have ever watched on screen and it really doesn’t help that the actress is Not Good. However she’s beautiful, like ridiculously stunning.
- Alec spending 4 nights in a row at Magnus’ place and being consistently disappointed that he never wakes up to Magnus there? Good content. Wholesome. Approve of this.
- Luke is the best character in this show and I love him.
- Simon, “I hate feet” is not a murder alibi.
- Raphael deserves more screen time, more Luke, more Raphael, more Maia, more Izzy, less Jace and less Clary thanks. I know they’re the main characters but i just…want less of them.

UPDATE: I HADNT FINISHED WATCHING THIS WHEN I TYPED THIS UP, AND CAN I JUST SAY, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO SEBASTIAN’S FACE

What really sucks about the way Joss Whedon writes is that he sort of has this idea that if he writes about women being strong and confident, that is all it takes for women to appreciate his work. Like, even if the villain constantly belittles a woman for being a woman and people are constantly harassing her and sexualizing her, it’s okay because she’s strong and she can take it.

The biggest difference between Whedon’s version of Wonder Woman and Jenkins is that in Whedon’s version Wonder Woman is A Woman. She (and the audience) must be constantly aware that she is a Woman, that she is Sexy, that she is overcoming incredible odds because she has the terrible disadvantage of Being Born A Woman.

Whereas in Jenkins’ film Diana simply exists. There are some points made by other characters about her being a woman, like when Steve won’t sleep with her because he feels it’s improper, or when his secretary says, “Oh yes, put specs on her, like after that she won’t be the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen”, but Diana is almost completely unaware of her status as a Dreaded Woman. Her excitement over a baby? She’s literally never seen one before. Her little makeover seen? Spends the whole thing looking for something comfortable she can fight in. She basically never mentions the difference between men and women, never even says that women are better or whatever because she was raised by them. 

Joss Whedon would have never let Wonder Woman forget she was a Woman. She would have constantly been making comments about it, wether positive or negative, as would everyone around her. In Whedon’s heyday that might have flown a lot better, but now women seem to be a little sick of grrrrl power. They just want power. They just want to exist, both on screen and in life, without constant reminders that they are Women and that they must pay for that at every turn.

Everyone, PLEASE go support the new Power Rangers movie.

I know basically nothing about the franchise, I was never a fan as a kid, I get it if you’re like ‘idk what even’ about the movie.

 I haven’t even seen the movie yet. 

But out of the 5 main characters, 4 are non-white, and of those, 1 is an openly queer Latina, and 1 is black and autistic.

Words can’t express how huge this is.

Not only is this the first openly queer superhero in a blockbuster movie, she is also Latina. 

It’s also, the first autistic superhero in a blockbuster movie. 

It’s one of the first times I have ever seen a canonically autistic protagonist in a major piece of media, ever, in a narrative that isn’t just about them Suffering About Being Autistic™.

It’s the second black autistic character I’ve ever seen in any form of media, ever, either, and that is incredibly significant. It’s looking like it will be fairly positive representation, which is so important, given the issues that black autistic people face. (More likely to be underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed, more likely to be the victims of police violence and persecution, etc.)

If it doesn’t do well, the diversity of the film will get blamed by Hollywood, rather than any of the individual creative merits of the film itself.

But if this movie succeeds, it could be genuinely groundbreaking, in terms of what is considered viable in terms of casting and representation in major blockbuster movies. 

If you want more POC heroes, more queer heroes, more disabled heroes, in your media?

Please, please, go see this movie.

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Okay, but Allura never got to finish saying what the Blue Lion's qualities are? Why would she just skip over Lance?! Okay, yeah, he interrupted her, but what was she going to say? Will we ever know? Will the characters ever know? What if she was going to say something about how attached/close the blue paladin can get to people? What if it had something to do with Lance's insecurities? Maybe the blue paladin is supposed to be the confident one, so Allura felt like she didn't need to explain herself? I HONESTLY NEED TO KNOW LIKE IF THIS IS NOT ADDRESSED IN SEASON THREE I WILL RIOT because I need a scene where someone (preferably Keith because Ship™) asks Allura all casual, "oh yeah, what were you about to say?" and it ends up being this extremely deep thing that they all realize describes Lance perfectly and I just hate that Lance got completely glossed over about why he should pilot the blue lion and mAYBE IF ALLURA TOLD HIM WHY HE WAS PERFECT FOR THE ROLE HE WOULDN'T DOUBT HIMSELF SO MUCH. I think about this way too much. I am so distressed.
9

GUYS GUYS GUYSS!! NEW ARTICLE!!!!!!!!!!

Life is like a hurricane here in… modern-day America. But in Duckburg, it’s a veritable storm of fun, adventure, and d-d-d-danger for fans awaiting Disney XD’s summer revival of DuckTales, the beloved ‘80s cartoon about Donald Duck’s nephews and their wild excursions with great-uncle Scrooge McDuck (voiced by Doctor Who’s David Tennant).Premiering in August, the series has been carefully crafted as a familiar reboot albeit with contemporary comedy updates to the Disney Afternoon original. “One of the things we always loved about the old show was that it was this family of adventurers, but the emphasis in every episode had always been on the adventure and plotline,” says co-producer Francisco Angones. “The basic conceit of growing our show was that this is a big blended family of adventurers, so it should feel like a combination of Indiana Jones and a blended Arrested Development-style family sitcom where every character has a different relationship to one another.”The revival sticks to its adventure-of-the-week DNA, but with a hint of season-long serialization — one big mystery of the first season involves a decade-old family secret about why Scrooge and Donald stopped spelunking together — as well as sharpened characterization for nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie (Danny Pudi, Ben Schwartz, and Bobby Moynihan). “Since everyone always says ‘Huey, Dewey, and Louie’ in that exact order, we decided to make that the birth order, and by defining that, we were able to assign traits that fit,” says executive producer Matt Youngberg. “So, Huey’s the oldest, a little more responsible, a little bit brainy. Dewey wants to stand out, and wants to break out of being labeled as just one of a set of three. And Louie is happy being the youngest child — he can slip under the radar.”Joining the pack (though decidedly not the Quack Pack), expect significantly more screen time for little Webby (Kate Micucci), Scrooge’s niece-by-affection, whom Youngberg says has “a stronger and more unique voice than she ever had before.” Angones adds, “We almost never say ‘the nephews’ or ‘the boys’ — she’s a crucial part of the adventuring team, and they really are this big, weird family. If Huey has Scrooge’s brains, Dewey has Scrooge’s guts, and Louie has Scrooge’s love of treasure, Webby has Scrooge’s heart.”The population of Duckburg doesn’t stop there. Not even close. In addition to previously announced treats like Beck Bennett’s Launchpad McQuack and Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Gizmoduck, the city is thriving with new and familiar characters — so let’s cannonball into some exclusives.

Donald Duck (Tony Anselmo)
Expect to see a lot more of this world-class walking temper tantrum in the new reboot, which bumps Donald Duck up to main cast status. “He’s been a single parent obsessively taking care of the boys, and he’s a little bit overprotective and doesn’t want to take a lot of risks, whereas so much of Scrooge’s success is based on the fact that he’s willing to take risks,” says Angones. “In our world, about 10 years ago, Scrooge and Donald used to go on these big, crazy, rip-roaring adventures, and then they stopped talking to each other, to the point where when we start our show, Huey, Dewey, and Louie don’t even know that the richest duck in the world and this legendary explorer is their great uncle.” By the end of the first episode, Donald reluctantly moves his whole family in with Scrooge, but maintains some degree of his own independence — by keeping his houseboat in the pool. 

Gladstone Gander (Paul F. Tompkins)
Few things can unite Scrooge and Donald like a shared nemesis, and we find that in Gladstone Gander, a dandy old character who always irked Donald and now gets under Scrooge’s feathers, too. Angones says, “The great thing about Gladstone is that since Donald is fundamentally unlucky, Gladstone is supernaturally lucky, and so Scrooge and Donald can both agree that they hate Gladstone because he does nothing and gets everything.” (Also worth hating: Gladstone’s father’s name is Goosetave. GOOSETAVE.)

Gyro Gearloose (Jim Rash)
You’ll notice Scrooge’s in-house mad scientist has gotten a fairly hipster makeover, but neither his wild inventions nor vocal exclamations (by Community’s Jim Rash) are any less manic. While his intern Fenton (Lin-Manuel Miranda) moonlights as local superhero Gizmoduck, presumable fan-favorite Gyro Gearloose keeps the spirit of DuckTales’ crazy super-science alive.

Goldie O’Gilt (Allison Janney)
Returning as Scrooge’s longtime paramour is Goldie O’Gilt, a fellow adventurer who has a curious relationship with old McDuck. “In our adaptation, Scrooge is more of an adventure junkie than a gold addict, so we kept saying, ‘Well, if Scrooge is like Batman, then Goldie should be like Catwoman,’” says Angones. “She’s equally adventurous, every bit Scrooge’s equal, and he hates and loves that. They have this amazingly contentious relationship that’s been going on ages and ages, spanning back to the Gold Rush days.” Plus, the producers say it was David Tennant who geeked out the most about Janney joining the cast: “He heard us play a line she had recorded and he said, ‘That’s C.J. Cregg!‘”Ma Beagle (Margo Martindale) and the Beagle Boys (Eric Bauza)
The perennially annoying villains are back in full force to block Scrooge’s adventures, with beloved character actress Margo Martindale on hand to voice the maniacal matriarch of the family of genuinely idiotic criminals. Big fans will note that they actually look like dogs this time. Relatively

Flintheart Glomgold (Keith Ferguson)
One of Scrooge’s wealthy equals in Duckburg is Scottish showman Flintheart Glomgold, whom Youngberg describes as “this kind of go-go ‘80s billionaire who made all his money from branding and getting his face on every storefront.” Angones says, “Glomgold is bigger, faster, and cheaper. An in-joke we had for him was that originally in the comics, he was South African, and then they made him Scottish in [the original] DuckTales, so we really leaned into that and decided that when Glomgold saw that Scrooge was a Scottish billionaire, he decided to be the cheap knock-off. More Scottish and even richer.

”Mark Beaks (Josh Brener)
The Silicon Valley actor adds fresh blood to the echelon of wealthy ducks that dominate the city. “We had a bunch of old money billionaires — Scrooge is the oldest money, this billionaire of the industrial revolution, and we have Glomgold — so we included somebody who’s representative of today’s billionaires, which is the tech industry billionaire,” says Youngberg. “Mark Beaks doesn’t care as much about money as he cares about status and being buzzworthy and how many followers he has.” Angones adds, “Josh Brener was so incredibly on all the time, selling and pitching. He’s a character who’s so broad and over the top, you love to be annoyed by him.

DuckTales premieres on Disney XD this August.


http://ew.com/tv/2017/06/08/ducktales-exclusive-characters-cast/

RWBY characters rated by how much they probably swear
  • Ruby Rose: thinks it's really bad to say hell 1/10
  • Weiss Schnee: wants to be a "lady" but also likes calling her brother Shitley 2/10
  • Blake Belladonna: her favorite word is fuck but she doesn't ever swear around adults 8/10
  • Yang Xiao Long: swears at her dad 9/10
  • Jaune Arc: said shit a couple of times 2/10
  • Nora Valkyrie: only swears during combat 4/10
  • Pyrrah Nikos: never learned the art of swearing 0/10
  • Lie Ren: doesn't swear a lot, but when he does, he goes hard 7/10
  • Penny Polendina: has mistakenly repeated swear words when she didn't know what they meant 1/10
  • Taiyang Xiao Long: tried to stop swearing when he had kids but couldn't do it 6/10
  • Qrow Branwen: every other goddamn motherfucking word bitch 14/10
She doesn’t like to be called babe because it’s sort of a lazy way of saying baby, she loved it when I called her by nicknames, babygirl, princess, tiger (because she wants to reincarnate into a tiger if she one day dies) beautiful, etc, she doesn’t like when others call her by her name, because she prefers “soph” but she loved it when I called her by her name and she sat there smiling at me for ages. Her favourite drinks are iced coffee, those frappe things from McDonald’s and rubicon (the mango one though) she loved coffee and I’ll never understand why. Shes insecure of her face and when You look at her too long she’ll cover it, she’s insecure of her body, though it’s perfect just the way it is to me, she’s insecure of her smile but I find it beautiful. No matter how many times I called her beautiful she didn’t once believe it because she believes she isn’t. No matter how many times I tried to prove to her she was beautiful she didn’t believe it. She’s insecure, she’s scared of being hurt, she’s scared of wasting time, she’s scared of putting her all into somebody to be left alone, her guard was up, even after I showed her the craziest amounts of love, because she’s afraid of letting people in and it’ll take her ages for her to be able to trust you and open up, the way she is stubborn drives me crazy because I want her to tell me what’s wrong but she won’t. She’s spend all night crying over me but has been happy for me the next day because whose wants to see a smile on my face, she will be emotional, she’ll cry, she’ll cry and lot, she won’t tell me she’s crying though because she’s scared to bring attention to herself. She gets jealous but only because she doesn’t want to see me with anybody else. She has days where all she wants to do is be alone and cry, there’s days she’ll have no motivation but all you need to do is try to be there for her regardless of how much she acts as though she doesn’t care because deep down she does and her pain is too much to explain so she’ll keep it in rather than tell me what’s wrong. She thinks she’s stupid and not intelligent (which I think and believe she is) and regardless of what i tell her she will never believe it, she always believes she isn’t enough but she is more than enough, I look at her and see my future, I look at her and it will physically hurts me because i know that she is worth much more yet she sticks around just for me, I think back to all the times I’ve hurt her and made her cry because of stupid arguments, I’ll look at her and my eyes will light up from the way her smile forms and the way her pupils dilate, the way she turns her head to the side so I won’t see her smiling or laughing. she never wants to see me upset, she may never say much but she knows, she wants to say things but her shyness takes over, she wants to be here for me but she will have no idea what to say, she will try her damn right hardest to be there for me and even though i don’t realise how much effort she puts in she will still carry on doing so. Even though I don’t thank her enough for making you happy she will still carry on doing so because she wants me to be happy. She never really speaks about what’s on her mind until i physically beg her to, she hates to talk of her past and her future and if I’m lucky she’ll tell me a story or two about her past, I need to pay attention because she hates to repeat herself, i need to reply to her like I’m interested or she’ll think i don’t care. She hates to talk of her future because it’s “depressing” because she doesn’t believe in herself but now is the part where i should interfere and motivate her to believe that everything she wants will be hers as long as she tries. She hates it when i give her “positivity rants” on the phone because it makes her overthink. She hates feeling like I’m not paying attention to her. She hates when I don’t realise everything you do for her. She hates feeling depressed and alone so i much bring as much happiness to her as possible, she hates knowing that I’m not okay. she loves sci-fi movies and that’s another thing I’ll never understand why she loves but when we’re married I’ll sit with her through 3 hour sci-fi movies because it’ll put a smile on her face and I’d do anything for that, She loves to mess and play with her hair, she is so downright passionate about photography and she loves relating to somebody, she loves when I know things about her, she loves having deep meaningful conversations, she sometimes stays up until stupid o clock to check up on me and to see if I’m okay or just to speak to me because she craves me and the feelings I give her. She stays up some nights doing things for me which I would never expect and some nights she will cry herself to sleep because I upset her or because im not okay. She loves to play fight and she loves it when I look into her eyes and she loves it when I lay in bed with her and just talk absolute shit. She loves long walks and pleasing sights, she loves going to pretty places, she loves the nights and one day she would love to travel the world with the love of her life, even though she’s never been an an airplane before but it’s fine because neither have I. she would love a long car journey to wherever as long as it’s with somebody she loves, she loves old music and she loves to make you happy. She loves wearing casual clothes and rarely ever wants to look “feminine” but I love it because its her character and who she is and she will never change that. She will make me happy even if I’m not making her happy because she loves me and will do anything to see a smile on my face. She doesn’t like going to busy places like concerts or crowds etc, she loves dogs and practically develops bonds with them, she dislikes her dog because she’s ‘boring’ but she still loves her and sees her as a sister, because she’s grown up with her. She is sometimes so full of life and so happy that its literally contagious, her smile makes me smile and her laugh is honestly the best sound ever, I see my future every time I look deeply into her eyes and i realise that she is worth so much more than me yet she sticks around, once she loved me she has not once stopped, ever since that day 3 years ago. Sometimes she will act heartless but only because she wants me to show her that I care, sometimes she’ll cry and not tell me because she wants me to figure it out. She doesn’t like to be around many people, she doesn’t want to go to college because she hates the whole school vibe but I respect her for that because going straight for a apprenticeship takes guts, she doesn’t have many friends and although people think they know her, I can assure you they don’t, she will make you feel as though you know her but you really don’t, even I don’t know/understand her to the full extent, because she doesn’t really let anybody in unless she really wants to tell them something, she doesn’t really open up to anybody, she may talk a lot on the phone sometimes but in real life it is the complete opposite because she will become shy. She loves her dads car because of it’s blacked out windows so people can’t see her. I’d describe her as mysterious and as every single day which goes on I carry on learning more about her. She is the book I’ve opened and I will carry on reading her till I am finished reading her which will be never because she is an endless story. She loves it when I hype her up when she looks beautiful when I replay, screenshot and reply with endless emojis because her beauty takes away my breath. Sometimes she’ll have an attitude because she’s upset about something and she wants me to figure it out. But her attitude is nothing to fuck with at all because she can talkkkkk I assure you, she will fight her opinion onto you and she will make her point, but she won’t say a word in person, regardless of the arguments and regardless of the heartlessness she will love me entirely and will carry on doing so and I will never question that. Her heart is made of gold and she will always want what is best for me. I’d keep on going because this isn’t everything about her, if I could, but quite honestly I’d be going on for hours, I could never lie, me and her have made the most happiest and craziest memories together, and I could never doubt that. If forever does not last for me and her and you’re the next person who falls in love with her, take this all in and realise what you’re getting yourself into. Treat her well because she is honestly a queen, you’ll learn to love her, but let me assure you something, you will never love her half as much as I do. But for now and hopefully till forever, she is mine and I will carry on loving her till the day I die.
—  dedicated to my wife.
  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: I've seen Wonder Woman twice now and I still think that Ares should've been Doctor Poison herself Isabel Maru because her character was consistently and noticeably integral to the plot, creating the most destructive weapon that mankind had ever seen, assisting Ludendorff and strengthening him to superhuman levels; Diana at one point is overcome by rage and becomes destructive so it is completely within believability that the rage of a woman i.e. Doctor Isabel Maru could be the rage of a war god, there is never any concrete resolution for her character because we don't know if she somehow survives that final battle or dies, and for such an important antagonist this feels like a complete loose end whereas when Ares was revealed I didn't even know the character's name until the second time I watched it and when he showed up onscreen the first time my only thought was "whomst?"
The Evidence:
  • The Magic School Bus can time travel
  • When asked, Ms. Frizzle denies that she “knows everything”
  • However, Ms. Frizzle always knows what her students are up to, knows the answer to every question they ask her, and never shows fear even when in extreme mortal peril, as if she’s experienced this all before
  • Although we know she was in a rock band called the Frizzlettes and was a Shakespearean actress, Ms. Frizzle’s childhood remains mysterious
  • Ms. Frizzle is EXACTLY the sort of person to travel back in time to teach herself, and is in fact the most likely fictional character to do so
  • Nobody is ever named “Valerie Frizzle” at birth
  • Ms. Frizzle dresses queerly and laughs at her own bad jokes
  • A lot of the series is about Arnold learning to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy - that phrase is more or less targeted at him as a student
  • Ms. Frizzle looks a lot like a grown-up Arnold
PLL ENDGAME FINAL THEORY

Okay guys, so here is my theory. It’s long so bear with me. I hope you’re convinced with this one

In this theory, I will tell you who Uber A is. Who killed Charlotte. Who killed Jessica. How every character is involved in the story. What the initials A.D. stand for. Everything that we are yet to know at this point. 

Who is Uber A? There are two people. A twin of a character we know and her helper. We have an identical twin among us that has been behind everything that we are yet to know. Bethany Young is the twin and she is Uber A. The show is coming in full circle. She killed Jessica, Charlotte, Sara Harvey, etc. Uber A and Charlotte’s killer ARE the same person. She is not here to avenge anyone’s death like they want us to believe. She’s here for revenge for having her life ruined. 

They promoted this new A as the deadliest and most twisted A of all the As (and the one who loves the game the most). That description doesn’t fit with someone who is avenging someone’s death. 

It all starts with Bethany and Charles. The night Marion Cavanaugh died. According to Charlotte, Bethany pushed Marion Cavanaugh and blamed her. This isn’t true. Charlotte killed Marion, Bethany witnessed it, and Jessica covered it. Charlotte blamed Bethany but Jessica paid Wilden to rule it out as a suicide. Flashbacks aren’t always true. It’s visualized on what the person is saying. Jessica wouldn’t cover up the murder if Bethany did it. That’s why in Bethany’s recordings we would hear her saying to someone “she’s a bitch, she’s an evil bitch!” It’s not clear as to who was she talking about but it was definitely Charlotte or Jessica. Bethany drew pictures of Jessica with horns and the word ‘liar’ all over it

Charlotte lied in her story so Alison and the rest of the liars would feel bad for her. This is why some of the things don’t make sense. A big part of her story was a damn lie. Charlotte is the biggest liar on the show. Everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. Bethany got payback after the time jump by murdering Charlotte and throwing her off the bell tower, just like Charlotte pushed Marion from Radley. What I love about this is that Uber ‘A’ is putting the girls through hell to find Charlotte’s killer when she is the one behind it.

Who’s Bethany’s twin? Spencer Hastings. Mary Drake had Spencer and Bethany. Both are identical twins. One was adopted by The Hastings and the other one was put into family services and was adopted by the Young family and was sent to Radley later on. Before you all say “Bethany was two years older than Spencer and the rest of the girls” Charles was supposedly older than Jason but in reality they were the same age. Jessica and Kenneth came up with that lie to keep the adoption a secret from everyone else as it was revealed in 6x20. Bethany’s information was made up to keep her a secret from everyone

Peter Hastings was responsible for this and this is why he wanted Toby to stop investigating his mom’s death and sign the papers to close Radley back in season 4. The more he was investigating the more got to the truth. 

This is why we never saw her face when she escaped Radley. She has Spencer’s face. And this is going to be the ultimate final twist the writers already talked about. Lets be real, if she was a random girl we would see her face. They could’ve casted literally any blonde for this scene and they would show us her face. We still have yet to see her face as a teenager

One of the biggest mysteries on the show are Bethany’s drawings. There is a drawing of a woman falling (Marion), the picture of a demon (Jessica) taking a kid (Charles) away. We also see pictures of her but they’re all distorted. We can’t see her face

This makes me believe that she has part of her face disfigured or doesn’t want to show her face AND this is why Uber A wears masks

I will show you proof that Mary had a third child (which is the twin) In 7x08, Spencer and Aria go visit Dr. Cochran and he tells the girls that he helped Mary delivered “Two OF her babies” as opposed to her “two babies” hinting about another child. One was adopted and the other was put in family services. Mary was giving Spencer hints about a twin in the premiere telling her how much she and Melissa looked alike. 

This is one of my favorite scenes from 7A because Mary was indirectly telling Spencer her relationship with her parents and how they met a long time ago leaving Spencer confused

What does Sara Harvey have to do with everything? Sara was killed for knowing too much. She was a girl from another town involved in all this mess. Sara ran way from her home and Charlotte kidnapped and forced her to be her accomplice. She used her as a decoy in all the stuff that she was planning to do like “The Lodge Fire”. She knew stuff about Charlotte and was going to tell the girls and run away but Uber A was outside her room waiting to kill her. Never ever underestimate “A”. It happened with Jessica, Mona and finally to Sara. 

I hate to say this but Sara wasn’t the real Black Widow. The real Black Widow is the twin Bethany. She is the ENDGAME. I have proof of this. The first time we were introduced to the Black Widow was in the season 4 premiere titled “A is for A-L-I-V-E” (the title is a clue). Her introduction was really creepy and weird. It felt like a new character that was VERY connected to the story. Whoever this person was did NOT want to be seen in public because either they’re supposed to be dead, they are secret twin of someone or they are looking for them and that’s why she was wearing a mask and we can see this at the end of the episode

In 7x01 when the girls see the fake Hanna hanging in the bell tower. There was a clue that leads back to 4x01. Caleb looks at this phone and it’s 4:01 a.m. The writers tend to use numbers as clues. The episode where we are introduced to Black Widow

Black Widow had the girls as dolls at the lair. Sara may have been bad but having the girls as their dolls is completely twisted and it doesn’t fit her with character. Sara wasn’t wearing a mask when she lifted up her veil. I’m pretty sure the writers did this on purpose so we could catch the fakeness of Charlotte’s story.

Another thing that doesn’t make sense about her story. She shot Wilden twice. Lets be real here. She would know if he was really dead after shooting him. Why would she need Sara to go and check if he was really dead? This makes absolutely no sense. Here is more proof that Bethany is the real Black Widow. Toby was getting messages to take the RV and he would know what really happened to his mom. Who would know what happened to his mom? The witness. -A was helping Toby solve his mom’s mysterious death

What I’m about to say I believe no one has said it before. Bethany was working with Mona but Mona didn’t know who she was working for. Mona created the A game so Bethany could finish it. This has always been Bethany’s game. Mona loved playing the game and the last thing she would do was to reveal herself. Someone KNEW what Mona had done that night Alison disappeared and Mona was being blackmailed about it. She had no other choice than to reveal herself. How do I know this? Easy, Mona saying to Spencer “Either you join the A-Team, or you disappear” 

And of course Mona’s monologue when she’s admitted for evaluation: “I know they’re watching me, I don’t look bad considering… I like this lipstick, what’s it called? Toffee tango? (voice changes) They think it’s over, Loser Mona is going to the nuthouse and those precious liars are going home to sleep with their windows open and their doors unlocked. Don’t they know that’s what WE want?”

Okay there’s been theories that it was Charlotte talking after Mona but it’s impossible because Charlotte was a patient at Radley and met Mona later during her stay. Whoever was talking was helping Mona all along and she was present in the season 2 finale. She was at the masquerade party. She was right in front of us wearing a red dress with a full mask. The camera focuses on her. She has been watching them all along

Now. I will talk about her helper. Her helper is Dr. Wren Kingston. Wren has been an A-team member since the beginning. Mary sent him to Rosewood check on The Hastings and the only way to continue reporting her what the Hastings were doing was to get engaged to Melissa Hastings but he fell for Spencer and everything was ruined

I will give you the biggest clue that Wren is AD’s main accomplice

In 7x01, we see Mary talking to someone on the phone and according to Mona, “It’s definitely a man. I think he has an accent. Maybe Aussie, maybe British. Note: This can’t be Rollins because Mary and Rollins were not in touch for a couple of days

This is going to sound really twisted but I don’t think Mary cared about Charlotte at all. Charlotte was looking for her and she was spending time in other countries. 

Something that hasn’t been explained is why Wren suddenly decided to volunteer in Radley when Mona was admitted there. He volunteered to continue the A game but with a new leader (Charlotte DiLaurentis). Eddie Lamb suspected and knew all along that Wren was bad news

The infamous visitor’s pass. Wren didn’t make the pass for Charlotte. it was for Bethany but under the name CeCe Drake. She used Charlotte’s “alias” when she had her out privileges. She was sneaking into Radley under that name to visit Mona wearing a Red Coat. That pass couldn’t have been for Charlotte because she was already a patient there. All she needed was to get out of her room and visit her. Why would she need a visitor’s pass?

Mona said to the liars in 3x24 “that she made a deal with the devil and she gave me a way in and out of that place”

Charlotte wasn’t giving her a way in and out of Radley because she needed Mona to get out of that place without anyone noticing as she stated in 6x10.

So who was Mona talking to? Uber A. The real Red Coat and Black Widow. 

Only someone who works or was a patient for a long time knows the exits and secret doors. Bethany escaped Radley so she would definitely know the secret exits

Uber A manipulated everyone to do her dirty work. Just like Mona, Charlotte was addicted to the A game so why would she just give herself up? Because someone was telling her what to do. And this is why they introduced us to the board game. This is how Uber A was manipulating everyone. Telling them what to do.

In 6x10, Mona tells the girls that she didn’t tell CeCe about them but somebody at Radley did start sending her riddles and twisted rhymes. More proof that someone else was seeing her. 

The last time we hear about Wren is in 6x17 in a flashback of Hanna and Melissa in a restroom. According to Melissa, he was in contact with Charlotte when she was at Welby. Melissa tells Hanna that Charlotte ruined her relationship with him because he found out that she killed the girl in the grave. Wren was blackmailing Melissa about this throughout 6B. This is why Melissa was terrified if someone else had the tape confession because someone was targeting her.

Now the last question. Who’s in the grave? A stranger that was killed and buried with the outfit. Grunwald rescued Alison and someone with a red sleeve rescued Bethany. There are two different scenes with two people wearing different clothes and rescuing someone. Whoever was identified was killed and buried with the yellow top outfit

You can follow me on twitter @boyfataie if you want to discuss it

All Evidence That Could Possibly Indicate Trans Girl Marco #37

*Marco explicitly refers to herself as a girl, again - Season 2, episode 19*
Relevance Level: 11
Explanation: Whelp it fucking happened. Marco is now as close to an explicitly confirmed transgender character in a kids show that there has ever been. She set up (or agreed to) a fucking merchandise line where she’s a girl, a main villain thinks of her as a girl and uses she/her pronouns and is never corrected, she refers to herself as a girl, she likes to think she’s pretty. She’s being threatened here but look how happy she is.

Maybe Marco will never be confirmed, 100% canon, maybe Disney will never allow it. But nevertheless there she is. There she is for young girls to see, telling young girl’s that she may be silenced but she still exists, telling young girls that’s it’s OK, ya girl Marco’s got your back.

I think a moment that really struck me about the importance of representation was when I made my asexual friend cry.

I have a book I’ve written, that I just haven’t posted anywhere out of fear. The leading lady is a pansexual/romantic trans girl cop, and she has a best friend in the coroner who’s an asexual sex repulsed homoromantic cis girl that really likes lizards. I would send my asexual friend the chapters to beta, because I’m not ace and I don’t want to fuck up anything.

The entire time she would mention loving their interactions (she wasn’t subtle about shipping it at all) and I, very excitedly gave her the chapter where said asexual character admitted to her father figure she was in love with the leading lady. She spent a good couple of pages freaking out about asking her out “I know she’s cool with me being asexual but what if she’s not cool dating an asexual? What if she takes it as an insult??” etc. Basic shit I thought almost all media with ace characters would cover.

Later, she calls me on skype, and is literally fucking crying. Apperently, ace media rarely considers ace people still having romantic feelings and almost never covers the difficulty, the fear, the nervousness. She said that character resonated so hard with her, it felt like she got hit in the chest and it proved to her I did care about people like her.

When I explained that I wasn’t even trying, it just felt natural to write she started bawling more and fucking begged me to keep writing especially ace/aro characters.

It was the most touching thing that ever happened to me.

Olivia Puckett as Zoe Murphy

Here, I’m gonna analyze and describe Olivia Puckett’s performance as Zoe Murphy, and the ways in which it differed from Laura Dreyfuss’s. Enjoy!

First of all, Olivia Puckett is a blessing to us all. I love her so much (have you seen her Instagram stories?!) you all have no idea. She was so sweet, so good.

I’ll start from the beginning. Instantly, right as she entered during “Anybody Have a Map” her differences with Laura Dreyfuss were evident. She slouched in her chair, her foot giggling under the table. Also, with Connor, her dialogue was lighter, in a way. She delivered the “He’s definitely high” line almost jokingly, like she was just this younger sister poking fun at her brother. It wasn’t disapproving and harsh the way Laura’s delivery felt.

Even while they were exchanging “Fuck you’s!” they seemed more like siblings messing around than two extremely damaged teenagers taking out their anger on each other. It honestly felt like a normal sibling relationship. She wasn’t even yelling, and neither was Mike Faist. It wasn’t mean or anything. It was. Good.

Even when she marched off the stage, proclaiming that she’d leave without Connor if he doesn’t spead up, I felt as though she wouldn’t leave without him. Like that was yet another joke. No big deal. Like she’d wait in the driveway for him to come, and maybe give him a bit of a hard time about it all later, but that they’d laugh about it next week or something.

Then, she met Evan. She rushed over to him in the middle of WTAW, and he instantly recoiled, his shoulders turning inwards, his eyes on the ground, his hands twitching. She seemed genuinely concerned. Her voice was low, and she seemed to purposefully stay away from him, almost fearful of scaring him, while simultaneously wanting to be closer.

When she called Connor “a psychopath,” it sounded like she was angry with Connor for pushing Evan, who obviously didn’t deserve anything, but wasn’t disgusted or hateful. She didn’t sound like she hated Connor. Or even really disliked him. Just has a stereotypical teenage sibling relationship that’s a bit edgy.

When she walked away– “Okay…Jose…” –she turned around and looked back at Evan before leaving, almost fondly. It almost gave me the impression that this crush was requited, and perhaps had been for some time. That Evan’s love for Zoe wasn’t one-sided, that Zoe didn’t grow into liking Evan throughout the musical, but actually, in fact, liked him before it even began.

She entered, again, before “For Forever” and I could see a physical change that occurred in her during the 10 minutes or so she was off-stage. I could almost see her lose Connor, in that entrance. As she noticed Evan’s presence, she didn’t ask “Why is he here” like “Why is this weird kid in our house” but more like “Why is Evan, who I talked to in the hallway a few days ago, here?

Throughout the dinner before “For Forever,” she did this leg jiggle again. Which was. So fascinating. She had these particular ticks, ones which almost mirrored Evan’s. They seemed like two pieces of the same pie, in their own peculiar way. Simply, if Olivia Puckett announces one day that Zoe Murphy has a minor anxiety disorder, I would believe her in a heartbeat.

When she retorted about good times with Connor, saying that “There were no good times!” she didn’t sound like a possibly abused sibling. She sounded almost angry with herself, as though she was wondering why she didn’t notice something was wrong with Connor, as though she wished she’d tried harder. She didn’t sound like someone who was wronged and was furious, she sounded like someone who was remembering her entire childhood and trying to pinpoint where everything went wrong.

Laura’s Zoe seemed like a young person who suddenly lost control over seemingly everything in her life, someone who was almost drowning. Olivia’s Zoe seemed like a young person who had just temporarily misplaced control, someone who was floating just above the water’s surface.

During “Requiem,” Olivia cried, actually cried, which is something Laura definitely did not do. 

The whole “You were not the monster that I knew” thing was much less believable. But the “You’ve given me my brother back. Thank you.” thing at the end of “You Will Be Found” was so. much. more. believable.

I really felt for Olivia’s Zoe. “Requiem” was when I started crying fully during this performance, rather than during “You Will Be Found” (which normally what gets me). I felt her loss so deeply and profoundly, like she was taking the whole audience on this journey with her.

She truly seemed to mourn Connor, to have loved her brother. She seemed so devastated during “If I Could Tell Her” that she never got to tell Connor what she thought. 

It was just a different kind of loss.

As well, her relationship with Evan was so vastly different. She seemed to be more interested in him specifically and less interested in his connection with her brother. At the end of “You Will Be Found” when she kissed Evan the second time, she kept a hand on his when he pulled away. When he kissed her back, she wrapped her arms around him and like hug-kissed him. In the boot, with Laura Dreyfuss, Evan leaned Zoe into her back on the bed. 

The opposite happened here, with Zoe really taking control of their kissing, pushing Evan into the bed.

Also, during “Only Us” she put a hand on either side of Evan’s face and held him so softly when she sang “We can’t compete with all that” rather than motioning with one hand (see: Laura and Ben’s performance of “Only Us” on Seth Meyers). There was a part where she sat on Evan’s bed and Evan kneeled before her, and she held both of his hands between hers.

They held hands whenever they were together after that, honestly. During “Only Us,” Zoe normally kisses Evan once, at the very end of the song. Here, Olivia kissed Ben three (3) times. Twice while singing and once at the end of the song.

I cannot over-exaggerate the softness in her eyes when she looked at him. In all honestly, y’all, I felt myself really loving their relationship, which isn’t something I did beforehand. 

With Laura’s Zoe, I never would recommend Zoe and Evan being together for their own health. With Olivia’s Zoe, if they had met under different circumstances, if Evan hadn’t lied, I firmly believe that they could’ve had a healthy and happy relationship.

And the kegger skit!!! OMG!! She did the same dorky voice that Evan did with “til your mom gets home” when she said “in three hours!!” and they laughed. They laughed a lot.

It was so interesting to see almost Ben’s reactions as an actor to what Olivia was giving him. This was only the second time they’d ever done the show together in those characters, and it must’ve been so unusual to what he had been doing for the past hundred or so performances.

Zoe was so sweet? And? So strong? And never once mean to Evan? With Olivia, the whole “you don’t have to keep saying sorry….I was a little impressed, you ruined it” thing wasn’t as weird? It didn’t feel uncomfortable. It felt like: Zoe liked soft Evan, who apologizes all the time, she just wanted him to be comfortable enough around her to not feel like he had to apologize, rather than wanting him to change.

She felt like a young girl, who had suffered an immense loss, who was coping as best as she possibly could. She wasn’t some semi-popular girl who Evan liked purely because he thought she was hot (neither, of course, is Laura’s Zoe, or any form of Zoe, in fact). She was a multi-dimensional person who existed in her own right outside of anyone else. There was no room to see her as anyone else.

When she found out about Evan’s lie, it was almost more devastating. 

I would have believed her if she had said she loved Evan. 

Laura’s Zoe was angry and possibly depressed. She was desperate to grab a hold onto anything in her life, her life which was quickly spiraling out of control before her eyes. There, Evan seemed like the perfect person to grab onto, someone that was malleable and almost willing to be controlled.

Olivia’s Zoe felt in-control, like she knew what she was doing and knew where she would be in ten years, she just wasn’t there quite yet.

She obviously loved Connor and was mourning his death, but there didn’t seem to be as much guilt involved.

In her final scene, where she met Evan at the orchard, she, like Evan, seemed to have also gone through a metamorphosis. She seemed to have grown so much, and she held her head higher, too, just like Evan. To me, Zoe is a lead character, sharing the female lead title with Heidi Hansen, rather than a supporting character.

I love Laura Dreyfuss with my entire heart and soul, and her Zoe was a very particular character as well. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact differences between her Zoe and Olivia’s Zoe, because they are both truly incredible. Both woman are powerhouses of whom I will forever be in awe. Both portrayals make Zoe a fascinating, dynamic, complex, female character, one that is much, much more than a love interest or plot point. She, in some aspects, feels like the beating heart of the show. It’s hard to put my connection with her into words.

Again, like I said with Michael Lee Brown’s Jared vs. Will Roland’s Jared, neither performance was better. Both are heart-wrenching and powerful and conveyed a message to the audience, reached out and grabbed our hearts in their hands. Both are incredible. Just very, very different.

Essentially, Olivia Puckett’s performance was incredible. Unbelievable actually. Any desire to not want to see the understudies is pointless and wrong, let me tell you. This entire cast and entire crew are the most talented people I’ve ever seen.

my thoughts on OITNB s5
  • That video of Alex getting her arm broken went viral. Kubra thinks that she’s dead. Could he end up seeing that video and sending someone else after her? Or maybe he’ll just try to get her arrested for Aydin’s murder.
  • Even though Daya shot Humps, it was the stroke caused by the oxygen blown into his IV by Maureen that killed him. Will an autopsy be done to determine his cause of death and prove that Daya didn’t kill him. If an autopsy is done and the police question Maureen I’m guessing that she’ll lie. The only person that can discredit her is Suzanne and she’s not exactly a reliable witness.
  • I’m not sad that Piscatella died but I would’ve liked to see him live a little longer. I wanna know if Red showing him mercy would’ve changed his perception of prisoners.
  • VAUSEMAN GOT ENGAGED
  • Last we saw Piper’s mom she was not a fan of Piper being with Alex. Will we get an explanation as to what changed her mind? Or are we to believe that she’s done caring about what other people think and just wants her daughter to be happy?
  • I know it’s not likely but I hope Maria tells the governor’s assistant that Gloria also helped with the guards’ escape. And will she get anything for breaking out the guards?
  • I’m thrilled Nicky stayed sober this season but it was only 3 days.
  • Will we ever learn how much time Alex has left?
  • If you guys haven’t seen Dreamgirls, you need to. There is a movie that came out in 2006 with a phenomenal cast. There will be no White Effies.
  • VAUSEMAN GOT ENGAGED
  • The Blanca/Red friendship is something I never could’ve imagined happening in season 1. I love seeing characters that don’t normally interact come together.
  • What will Flaca and Maritza do without each other?!
  • I was loving Taystee all season until she turned down Fig’s offer. She let down all the woman, they ended up with nothing, and because negotiations fell through, CERT went in there and abused the inmates. Never mind the fact that someone might die.
  • Alex and Piper playing house all season was so cute and adorable and perfect. This is probably their best season. AND THEY GOT ENGAGED. They both better live because I need a Vauseman wedding.
  • Speaking of Vauseman, Alex saying Vauseman gave me life.
  • I hate Leanne and Angie as much as the next person, but them burning the files may end up being helpful to the inmates. It seems like common sense for Litchfield to have electronic copies of the files but a lot of things in Litchfield don’t make sense. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were no digital copies (it’s a long shot). And the inmates don’t have their IDs. That might cause a problem when they try to check who they have.
  • With the inmates presumably being sent off to separate prisons, will the show keep them separated and take place between multiple prisons, will the show get everyone back together, or will it just take place in one of the prisons and leave the inmates not in that prison behind?
  • I really wanna know what the point of Pennsatucky and Donut’s relationship is. It’s hard to watch her fall for her rapist. What is Jenji Kohan trying to accomplish here?
  • That Poussey scene was a spot of light in what ended up being a pretty dark season.
  • VAUSEMAN GOT ENGAGED
  • Michael J. Harney was credited as a series regular this season but Healy wasn’t in a single episode. What’s up with that? (not that I missed him)
  • Mystery solved! The weeping woman is always crying because her dog got blown up by her husband.
  • Kinda curious as to why Piscatella didn’t try to capture Lorna as well, kinda don’t care. I figure it’s because she was in too public a space.
  • I always thought Leanne and Angie were just stupid, annoying meth heads. Now we now that they’re rapists. Can oitnb find someone else to be their “comedic relief”?
  • And why does this show treat rape like it’s no big deal? Angie made a comment in passing about how she’s raped guys. She and Leanne raped the strip dancer guard. Donuts raped Pennsatucky. I think the fat guard talked about how he raped someone last season. What’s wrong with this show?
  • VAUSEMAN GOT ENGAGED (I’m just really happy that they got engaged, okay? I’m trash)

Alex asks the million dollar question at the end: was the riot worth it? The characters and the audience may not be able to answer that question now since we’re still waiting to see the full aftermath, but knowing what we know do you guys think it was worth it? They set out to change the conditions in the prison and got nothing. They set out to get justice for Poussey and got nothing. But they did humanize themselves to the public. Aleida giving interviews, Flaritza’s videos, and Alex’s viral video of her arm getting broken have put faces and names to people that the public never really thinks about. Maybe Piper’s right and change will happen one person at a time and those people will work to change the system. Maybe the public can elect officials that want to reform prisons. Maybe the public will refuse to purchase products made by prisoners.

Maybe the riot was worth it because the women of Litchfield forced the world to look at them and see them as people and not as commodities or unredeemable felons. Maybe it’s worth it in the long run but it doesn’t seem like there will be much take away in the short term.

Call It Suicide

A/N: Well, it’s been a full month since my last fic that I posted and I felt like it was time for a new one. Another Harry Styles fic because he’s such a legend and I love him so deal with it. This took me a good few days to finally finish, hence why it’s legit the longest thing I’ve ever written, because I wanted to get this really good because I literally write my fics in one night normally so enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it x.

Based on: ‘Suicide’ by James Arthur

Dedicated to: @twerkit-hxrry, and TheHSquad: @17-blackaf, @harryxmac, @snlhaz, @spectralstyles, @wishfulharrie, @stylishmuser, @hes-writings94, @the2k17harry, @roseonhissleeve, @hs-1dfan, @soloharrles, @mizpahes, @hcrrystyles, @hes-a-rainbow, @lovingstyles87, @namelesspops, @gemmadorrego, @ever-since-kiwi, @harry-writings, @harrywavycurly, @harryslittlekiwis, @hotmessharry

Warning(s): Cheater!Harry, sad themes, swearing, a section of smut with very minimal Daddy kink

Word count: 8,005

Pairing(s): Harry Styles x Reader / Harry Styles x OC (Original Character)

Originally posted by ohstylesno



It ain’t the gun,
It’s the man behind the trigger.
Gets blood on his fingers and runs.
It ain’t the lie,
It’s the way that the truth is denied.


Four years.

A relationship that had withstood all trying odds thrown at it, time and time again. A relationship that, from the outside, never once seemed anything short of miraculous. Four years of that relationship had been a blessing and to her, nothing and no one could ever give her the satisfaction nor sensation of pure love and dedication, she feared she may never find something quite like it again.

It’s funny how certain situations arise, that are unexpected in the worst way possible, which make the mere thought of carrying on with the toxicity of a failed relationship unbearable.

It had taken a whole three months for her to coax a confession out of her tattooed lover which, during that time, almost made her physically ill to think about him, not only being sexually (but possibly also romantically) inclined with another woman, but lying so blatantly to her face about the multiple occasions he had, ‘ran out to get some deodorant’, during the dead of night, only to come back to their shared home in the morning with a different type of exuberant smell catching in the air from his body and clothing.

When confronted about this, however, the long-legged man stood in front of her, but yet, no eye-contact was maintained, and shook his head, pushing past the fragile woman he claimed to love for an extended period of time before slamming the heavy, mahogany bedroom door, muttering incoherent sentences on his way that normally consisted of, “Gettin’ on my fuckin’ last nerve”, and, “I ‘ave half the mind t’ leave you right fuckin’ now”.

Of course, it was when the luminous moonlight danced across the wooden floorboards of the bedroom, illuminating the whitewashed walls as if it was their own private, personal stage where they could showcase their undying love for one another, or so she once thought.

It was when the early hour of 3am came creeping around the corner with only the sounds of the wind whistling and the leaves whispering to keep her company as she laid in an empty, king-sized, luxurious bed that was meant to be a symbol of their companionship.

It was when she felt the all-too-familiar feeling of abandonment and loneliness twist inside her gut as fresh, hot tears sprung to her eyes and trickled down to her ears whilst unmoving and staring at the intricate detail of the high ceiling. She had been doing this for so many nights she was near confident that she could recite how many swirls and dots collected in the design from her counting.

Of course, it was then that she understood that she was no longer the apple of his eye. That he had escaped from her hold and found refuge in someone else’s arms. Someone else’s kiss. Someone else’s touch.

He would never admit this though, no, he would much rather sneak back into his own home where his significant other would lay, pretending to be asleep through her dry, tear-stained cheeks, rolled over to her side of the bed with him removing his clothes to slide skilfully underneath the untouched covers on his end, like he had been used to trying to not disturb her, before pressing a chaste kiss to her neck and whisper those three words that held no real regard.

He didn’t mean it.

Not since he started smelling like a perfume she could not recognise.

Every morning, a smell of fresh coffee and breakfast foods invaded his privacy that would jolt him awake, noticing his lady of four years had already made her side of the bed and left him a note in her cursive handwriting, that he used to adore, as she did routinely since they moved in together.

And every morning he would stalk downstairs to find her cooking for the both of them out of the kindness of her broken heart despite knowing about his infidelity and unfaithfulness before he wrapped his strong, manly arms around her trembling waist as sobs racked through her entire being.

Although, these said tears were soothed almost instantly as she felt the dry lips of the man she loved along her jawline and neck, peppering gentle kisses to her skin. She knew she shouldn’t be so easily swayed when he hadn’t even muttered a single word to her but she couldn’t control her feelings; feelings of anger and despair quickly dissolving into ones of adoration and desperation towards the figure looming over her.

A shaky hand was raised to caress his prickly, stubbly cheek as she closed her eyes and enjoyed one of the rare moments of intimacy the couple shared nowadays, willing herself not to shed any more saltwater from the seas swirling in her eyes.

A waft of the faint smell of cinnamon and honey contrasted with her regular scent of vanilla and fruits that brung her out of her Harry-induced daze, making her pull away from the man she could no longer trust.

“Don’t walk away from me. Please. No’ today.” He pleaded, she almost could have believed he was being genuine if it weren’t for the black lace thong she’d discovered discreetly hidden inside his trouser pocket whilst doing the laundry last Sunday. He knew this, yet he still didn’t bother to hide the piece of evidence elsewhere. It was almost as if he had wanted her to feel her heart drop to her stomach.

“Harry, by my walking away, it gives you the leverage you need t’ turn in the opposite direction and in'a her bed.” She spoke in rebuttal under her breath; hoping her words wouldn’t travel far enough and stop short before they could reach his ears; in a way, recreating how whenever she gave him her all, it never seemed to find its destination within him and instead go off-track.

Perhaps that was the reason why her love wasn’t reciprocated.

“Wha’ did you jus’ say t’ me?” The sound of heavy footsteps coming back round the large, marble countertop placed in the middle of the spacious kitchen to her after grabbing a snack from the cabinet, not only made her anxious but also incredibly uncomfortable as she never wanted to carry such negative conversations with the center of her affection, knowing that he would deny all the objectives she would present to him, similar to how he had before.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, baby.” She forced a fake smile onto her face, an expression she had grown accustomed to whenever she looked too deep into his pools of jade he called, ‘eyes’, digging out information she never thought she would have to read. She turned her body around to crash against his chiselled chest, trapping her between the oven and his own furnace, his body giving out warmth she used to find comfort in. “I didn’t say anything important, I promise, now gimme a kiss.”

Seemingly satisfied with the answer he was provided with, he leant in to press his lips hard against hers and rested his palms on her hips.

Undoubtedly, it was one of the most difficult things she had ever had to do. To kiss him as if her heart wasn’t crumbling like the walls around her; suffocating her, was too much to bare as she finally pushed him away and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

“How dare you stand here and kiss me with tainted lips you’ve put on another girl. How dare you stand here and pretend you’re committed t’ us. And how dare you stand here and make me a fool for loving you when you go out and make love t’ that woman you found at a dingy, dark nightclub one lonely winter’s night.” The streams of emotions flowed down her red, puffy cheeks as she expressed her discontent and disappointment from within.

It had been a long time coming and she knew she couldn’t hold it in any longer. Not when he made no effort to admit to his wrongdoings, but instead gave her false hope towards a relationship that was barely alive.

His arms tried to reach out towards his beautiful explosion but she couldn’t stand to look at him for longer than she had already endured and backed away from his softening stare.

He couldn’t continue his façade, not anymore.

“No, sweetheart, please…” He began to somehow explain months of late nights and cold shoulders, but she had heard and lived through everything she needed to in order to make her final decision as she knuckled away her falling tears and practically sprinted to the bedroom to collect her belongings. “It jus’ happened! It was out of my control, baby, you have t’ believe me!”

She had to leave.

No more could she sit there and act as if they were the couple they used to be in the beginning. No more could she sit there and act as if he was the man she fell in love with.

The door clicked shut just as she zipped up her suitcase, signalling he’d now entered the room that was once filled with the purity of their love. The moment he slept next to her curled up body in the middle of the Stygian night after he spent his evening in a stranger’s bed, the barrier was broken and was replaced by one of deception and distrust.

His feet padded furiously against the pristine, fluffed rug situated at the center of the space before slamming his hand on top of the lid of the luggage in an attempt to keep the woman he genuinely loved deep down from leaving him.

“Harry. Get your hand off.” She threatened with a calm, gentle voice which she never used unless she was livid behind her cool, collected nature.

“Listen t’ me. I didn’t mean for this t’ happen, I didn’t mean t’ lie t’ y-…” He, again, was cut off by her forcefully lugging her property out from under his grasp and onto the floor with a loud ‘bang’.

“It wasn’t the lie! It was never the lie! I’ve known for months, Harry. ’S the way you denied the truth every single time I asked you about it! And if you’re implying that that’s the worst of it, I don’t even wanna think about the things you’ve done t’ her and vice versa.” She stayed glaring straight into his watery irises for a few seconds before spinning on her heel and walking out, deserting a broken man with his broken heart gazing at the now wide-open entrance with traces of her vanilla scent lingering but her nowhere to be found.


You’ve been killing softly and finally,
That is too much. (Oh)
And I’m all out of whiskey,
To soak up the damage you’ve done. (Oh)


         You would think drowning her sorrows in her tears and heartbreak would’ve been enough to express her emotions but no. She had managed to find herself amongst sweaty, filthy bodies in a large bar from which she had drunk her fifth glass of strong alcohol, she could barely see straight.

With the toxic fluids coursing through her veins, the pumping bass of the latest chart-topper beating her heart for her, and conversations of the blurred people around her resounding in her psyche, she had had enough.

Hard to believe, but it was a rare occurrence that she would even bother to dress herself up and emerge from her temporary abode, with her estranged high school friend she had recently been in contact with, to appear at the local bar she used to go to with Harry whenever they wanted to get away.

It used to be a sort of sanctuary for the two of them. It used to be a chance to just talk about their day and their feelings to each other without anyone else prying into their business. But now it was, and would forever be, “the place where he met her”.

“The place where he inadvertently broke the bond between lovers which he vowed to never do”.

Yet still, there she was.

Sitting alone on a high stool, gripping the side of her glass so tightly that the beads of condensation evaporated under the red heat of her fingers and inner turmoil.

She had just been staring at the wine glasses hanging down from the ceiling, like bats in a cave, whilst downing her beverage in record speed which allowed her to move swiftly onto her next drink. Even the bartender had started to get conscious of her intake and that was enough for him to then refuse to supply another source of liquor.

Her newly rekindled friendship with her high school classmate had been put to the test that evening and unfortunately, by her having no one she knew around in her presence, let her know that she need not care for the whereabouts of her friend as they didn’t care for hers after the second round of alcohol.

The sudden deprivation of a stinging solution making its way down her throat since she had been scolded like a child for the excessiveness of her drinking, made her mind wander into the fields of betrayal that replaced the meadows of happiness she used to frolic in with the man she used to think she would one day marry.

As soon as her gaze fixated on the empty glass in front of her, the saline tears poured over the barrier of her waterline and left her silently sobbing through her harrowing heartbreak.

Dying from a broken heart was something she had only read about in the news and never once believed it to ring true but as she sat there, in Harry and her bar, she could practically feel her chest contracting and splitting into two halves. Although, she didn’t really understand how considering he still had her heart in the palm of his hands and desperate for his love.

The mere sight of a grown woman openly, and drunkenly, weeping must’ve been hard for surrounding strangers to handle since by the time she had ceased her muffled cries to soft sniffles and looked up with bloodshot, sore eyes - most of the partygoers she had mixed in with had departed and left only her and a few stragglers behind with a busied bartender wiping down spilt beverages with a cloth.

The palms of her hands were raised to her reddened face and rubbed over her features to try and soothe her outburst of feelings as a heavy sigh was blown out from her pale lips in response to the heavyweight she felt in her chest.

Heels clicked on the floor of the building as she dug into her purse to find flimsy pieces of paper that represented a form of payment she could offer the man behind the counter for the alcohol she had consumed.

“On the 'ouse.” A clear, but deep voice sounded from in front of her as her glass was collected, “Yeh look like yeh had a bad one so don’t worry 'bout it.”

Her hard and focused stare switched from her trying to find her money in her purse to kind, pitiful, sapphire eyes as she faced the generous bartender.

“Noo. No, I can’t jus’ no’ payy yew. ’Ve 'ad like nine'een drinkss-..” Her slurred speech in between her not-so-subtle sniffs and hiccups made the stranger chuckle and she watched how his shoulders moved, fascinated by the way they were connected to his body that she felt the need to touch hers to confirm her suspicions that yes, she had shoulders too.

“Don’t mention it, love, I’ll call you a taxi.” He informed the unsteady woman the other side of the counter before picking up his phone and dialling a number he knew off by heart from the amount of times he had to ring because of previous passed out customers.

Love.

A completely innocent and everyday nickname she had been called before by many people, but this particular time made her legs shake and her lip quiver as she fought to hold back more streams of sadness.

Harry used to call her, “love”.

Harry used to show her love.

And Harry used to give her love.

But that was all gone.

All of it wasted and bestowed onto the other woman in her relationship.

She supposed it was a good thing that he had decided to take that route. She supposed it was a good thing that he made it clear she wasn’t enough. That she wasn’t what he wanted. That way she could confidently move on and find another to treat her right.

But her heart wouldn’t allow it.

Her heart remained in the familiar hands of her puppeteer and continued to make his own lovesick puppet out of her. Why? She may never understand. She only knew that he had a fatal hold on her; squeezing ever so softly but growing tighter with each and every day that passed by, that she feared she might have wound up helpless and perishing in his addicting arms.

He had been killing her softly, albeit unknowingly, but she had finally decided it was too much and escaped his grasp physically.

His emotional duress on her, however, was a different story altogether which she thoroughly believed she would never be able to evade.



If there is one thing that I’m guilty of,
It’s loving and giving when you take too much.

//•//
If there’s anything I’m guilty of,
It’s loving you too much.


         “Harry, stop!” The exclamation was followed by a giggle as she extended her hands out to cover the lens of the new, vintage camera she had purchased especially for him on their third year anniversary as a strong, steady couple.

“You’re jus’ the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen, darlin’, I 'ave t’ take photos t’ capture your beauty.” He exaggerated and winked when he switched his eyes to stare at her smiling face rather than through the viewfinder.

“Ew, you’re such a dork.” A pillow was lugged at his head which, as a result, made his curls fly out in every direction possible, him then looking like a human version of Simba. “You look the most attractive you’ve ever looked right now, baby.” A snort came from her button nose as she reached for the device in his hands, turning it on him and clicking the shutter multiple times at different angles.

“And you just sounded the most attractive you’ve ever sounded.” He spoke in rebuttal before shaking his hair out of his face and tamed it slightly.

A playful pout was brought upon her lips as a sign of her disappointment that her masterpiece was ruined but she continued to shoot amateur pictures of the stunning man with legs either side of her hips since she would never tire of looking at his perfectly structured face and features that were God’s gift.

“Oi, ’m s'posed t’ be taking pictures of you, my love.” His hands found their way to his hips and she figured that, in that moment, he had never looked more adorable so the shutter sounded once more to signal that she’d documented the sight on the roll of film in the camera. “’M gonna need yeh t’ stop before I get rowdy.”

“Rowdy?” A loud guffaw sounded as she lowered the camera down to her lap and just merely glanced up at the mess of curls on top of her in disbelief and fond. “I’d like t’ see you try t’ get 'rowdy’, honey, you’re the most calm and collected person I know.”

As soon as she placed the photographic equipment to one side, her arms were pinned above her head by a strong force coming from her short-haired lover and before she knew it, she could feel his fringe tickling her forehead since he leant forwards and hovered over her.

“I can be rowdy when I wan’ to, yeh know that more than anybody, pet.” He lowered his voice down at least one octave as he spoke, a glint of mischief in his sparkling eyes.

“Mm…” She pretended to think as a borderline seductive hum sounded from her throat. “I have no idea wha’ you’re talkin’ about, H.” A shake of her head only further exaggerated her point as she tried to prove her unknowingness and innocence.

A low, breathy chuckle resounded from deep in his chest, seemingly-always-minty breath fanning over her face gently, before he pressed a loving peck to her plump lips.

It was intimate moments like these where she felt she had never been more content, nor could she probably ever be more content without him.

It was intimate moments like these where she felt almost certain that there would never be another man more catered to her soul as he was and she intended on keeping him forever.

“‘M gonna love you ‘til the day I die.” The soft whisper coming from his lips transferred onto hers and she could feel tingles rush throughout her body. “Ev’ry day I spend with you jus’ gets better and better, I don’t know wha’ you’re doin’ t’ me.”

A caressing touch was brought to his cheeks as she pulled his face up to stare into his emerald eyes. She never got tired of looking into the windows of his soul - she thought as if they held information about himself that was only revealed if someone was to gaze intently into them.

“And ev’ry day I spend with you, makes me wan’ t’ never live another day without yeh, you’re my world.” A grin started to grow on his features but she carried on before he had the chance to reply, fearing that if she didn’t tell him what she had wanted to for so long, she might never get the opportunity, nor courage, to again. “You, Harry Edward Styles, are the reason tha’ ev’ry morning when I lie in bed next t’ you, I wan’ t’ scream at how much I adore watching you yawn and stretch when yeh make that little noise to shake the tiredness off. You are the reason tha’ ev’ry night when we take a shower together, I wan’ t’ kiss yeh until our lungs give out because I don’t ever wan’ t’ stop. You are the reason tha’ ev’ry time when I see yeh performing, I wan’ t’ jus’ run up on stage with you and show ev’rybody there that you’re mine and how proud I am of you. Words will never be able to describe how much I’m smitten with you, Harry, you’re the most amazing guy ‘ve ever met and I’ll be damned ‘f I see another chick on your arm.” She had to pause momentarily as she felt a familiar touch wiping away a stray tear that had trickled down her cheek in the heat of her emotions before nervously laughing and continuing to finish her mini-speech. “I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much, I don’t think you’ll understand.”

The only response that was mustered from the tanned man was a shake of the head in disbelief at the meaningful moment that she had just shared with him, he felt a slight twinge in his stomach he couldn’t identify before placing his elbows either side of her head, careful not to rest on her sprawled out hair, and, once more, pressing his raspberry lips against hers in a passionate seal of affection.

He shifted his weight onto his forearms in order to place himself in between her bent legs without breaking their kiss and let out a quiet groan of satisfaction against her mouth. Her hands reached up to tangle in his cut curls, tugging on them lightly just as a teaser. He ended up cupping her behind as he pulled away from her soft lips to flip their bodies over to allow for him to be the one on his back and situated his woman on top of his hips, squeezing hers temporarily as an indication to keep kissing him.

And when has she ever refused him?

A small smile appeared on her face before dropping her top half down onto his chest and reconnecting their pairs of lips. Hands pressed to his firm chest as legs straddled his frame before trailing her fingers gently down to the hem of his shirt.

“Take it off, baby.” A breathless plea was heard from the man underneath her which gave her the boost of confidence she felt she needed which encouraged her to remove the first item of clothing from his toned body and she couldn’t help but run her hands up and down his beautiful torso. “Now le’ me see you.”

She raised her own top over her head herself and threw it somewhere unknown, just as she did his t-shirt, and revelled in his reaction to her reveal, noting the way he trailed his eyes up her exposed chest and bit his lip. “Look a’ you. My gorgeous girl.”

She felt the rose colour blush onto her cheeks, she thought she would’ve been better off as a traffic light, before she looked down to try and hide the obvious effect he had on her but was stopped by his forefinger lifting up her chin and guiding the other hand to the clasp of her lace bra, unclipping it expertly with a single movement, and looking at her intense eyes. “I never wan’ you t’ feel like you have to hide around me.” The straps fell down her shoulders as soon as she relaxed her arms to remove the piece of lingerie, giving her significant other a firsthand view of her bare chest, whilst he fondled her breasts generously and massaged them. “You’re beautiful and you’re mine, I wan’ yeh t’ believe it.”

Her head tilted backwards at the sensation of him having her cupped in his hands and lovingly playing with her as she felt a tweak on her left nipple and a wet tongue flick on her right. A short intake of air gasped from her throat in surprise at the sudden attention but she wasn’t complaining.

To show her gratitude, she found that her hips started to grind down on him - both their clothed crotches rubbing against one another, making them both let out a soft sound of appreciation.

“Wanna taste you…” She chirped after she had plucked up the courage to tell him while his mouth was still on her, alternating between each nipple.

“’M not stopping yeh, baby.” He spoke in reply as he detached himself from her boobs, giving them playful, but gentle, little smacks, and watched them jiggle slightly to his amusement.

By him taking it upon himself to lay back down, she took it as a sign to hop off him momentarily and hook her thumbs inside the matching lace material of her panties (she hadn’t bothered to put on bottoms - she liked wearing his shirts) before swaying her hips side-to-side. She liked to give him his own private show every once in awhile to watch him grow harder within the constraints of his jeans as he watched her.

Some could say she had a slight kink for exhibiting herself for him and she felt proud that he liked what he saw every time, enough to show off that cheeky smirk of his that she loved so much and bite his lip.

She successfully managed to drop the skimpy thong to the floor and stepped out of it, rendering her completely naked, whilst she crawled back onto the bed and in between his spread legs.

Her hand flew straight the the button of his skin-tight, charcoal jeans and pulling down the zip slowly, flicking her eyes up to see his face that construed his impatience. A light titter came from her lips as she begun to pull the waistband of the item of clothing down his legs and off his body teasingly, planting pecks down his thighs and legs in the process but intentionally avoiding where he needed her most. “God, sweetheart, please.” He started to beg, he couldn’t wait anymore. He felt painfully hard already and she wasn’t doing anything to relieve it - just make it worse.

“Oh, ‘m sorry, honey, I didn’t realise you wanted me so bad.” She feigned innocence with a pout of her bottom lip before she grinned mischievously and palmed him through his boxers.

The sudden attention to his most sensitive area made him rut his hips forward onto her hand with a half-arsed apology mumbled from him before a low groan erupted, interrupted by her reaching up and connecting her lips to his in a kiss as she continued to work him through the thin material.

As she felt a wet patch forming due to the pre-cum leaking from his tip, she concluded that there had been enough teasing so she pulled herself away from his luscious lips as his boxers followed suit with his jeans and were tossed aimlessly somewhere in the room.

Standing to attention, the red, aching head of his dick looked too enticing for her to ignore as she started to give him kisses and kitten licks. A small growl of approval from him gave her the confirmation she needed to then flatten her tongue against the underside of him and lick a stripe along him until she reached the tip, swirling her tongue around it like a lollipop.

A shiver was sent through his body as he looked down at his lover and gripped her hair in his fist. He watched her lips wrap around his, he must admit, larger-than-average size and take as much as she could fit in her mouth before she began to suck.

A strangled cry came from him as she unexpectedly opened up her throat and attempted to take all of him. As soon as her nose touched his trimmed hairs, he let out a yelp of pleasure since he felt himself at the back of her throat before she gagged, making the muscles clench around him which made it feel even more pleasurable.

“Shit, you take my cock so good.” That sentence alone was enough to make her feel on top of the world as she pulled off to catch her breath for a second, a string of spit still connecting her to him as he reached down to swipe it up with his fingers and proceeded to press them to her mouth, making her open up and taste him.

“You taste amazing.” She praised him back, knowing that it’ll give him the confidence boost he needed to really fuck her into the mattress soon.

After her regular breathing was regained, she, once again, dived back onto his pulsing manhood and begun to hollow out her cheeks around him whilst working her tongue around his girth but making sure no teeth were present as she bobbed.

Constant affirmations of pleasure tumbling from his bitten lips only made her move faster before she raised one hand to what she couldn’t fit in and expertly moved it in sync with her mouth.

“Fuck, if yeh keep goin’ like tha’, baby, ‘m gonna cum.” The warning was enough to convince her to pull off of him with a ‘pop’ and sit back onto her knees, looking down at him with a virtuous look on her face but with spit dripping down her chin. “You look sinful, yeh fuckin’ tease.”

She had to bite her lip to hide a subtle smirk and she kissed up his torso before sitting back on his hips, making sure to be just in front of his length so he could rest on her arse as she bent down to give him a passionate, open-mouthed kiss.

His large hands roamed her back as he reciprocated the kiss by pushing his tongue in, meeting hers. An enticing hum was let out as she circled her hips gently, rubbing up against his already throbbing cock. He pulled away only to duck down and start to press his mouth against her neck, beginning to suck bruises into her skin to mark her as his to everyone that looked.

Her tease only further continued as she heard him groan in desperation when she rubbed against a particularly sensitive spot before he decided he couldn’t take it anymore and threw her down onto the bouncy bed as he held himself up with his hands, adjusting to be perfectly slotted in between her legs that locked together around his torso as she ran her fingers through his hair that fell down.

“Harry?…” She spoke up in a soft voice and he could feel her breath on his face by how close they were.

“Mhm?” He reached down to position himself against her clit and began to jut his hips forward and back eliciting a high-pitched squeal.

“F-Fuck me.” She had the wind knocked out of her as soon as he entered her before she could finish her request.

Both parties let out loud moans as they both felt each other in the most intimate way possible. He let her adjust to his size impatiently since it took all of him to not move inside of her. The warm, wet walls of her womanhood drove him crazy and he swore he nearly came undone already when she clenched around him.

“You ready, honey?” He asked shakily, he just wanted to feel every inch of her.

A timid nod came from her a few seconds later signalling her consent and he wasted no time in dragging himself out until just the tip was engulfed before plunging back into her tight hole, encouraging another in-sync moan.

Gradually, he picked up a regular rhythm and fastened his speed as soon as she muttered the words, “faster” and “harder”. The sound of skin slapping on skin filled the air mixed in with their combined moans and groans.

“Yeh feel so good, so deep.” She plucked up the confidence to try her hand at some dirty talk he had never heard from her before but he had to admit, he felt himself twitch at her words.

“God, you’re killin’ me.” He shivered as he picked up his pace.

“Yeah?…” She smirked as she leant up to press her wet lips against his, moaning against them. “Fuck, Harry, don’t stop.”

Every word she said stroked his ego even more and it turned him on to no extent to get praise that he was doing everything she wanted. With a few more hard thrusts, he felt the familiar twist in his stomach.

“You gonna cum for me? You gonna cum for Daddy?” The nickname just slipped from his parted lips as he breathed heavily but it didn’t go unnoticed by her, making her let out an exaggerated moan to let him know.

“Mm, Daddy’s so good t’ me.” She paused to peck his lips once more before arching her back as he brushed against that special spot. “‘M gonna cum. Want yeh t’ cum inside me.” She whispered.

Never had she been so relieved she had decided to take up the pill since she never wanted to stop feeling this level of ecstasy.

Hearing those words whispered so filthily from her cherry red mouth tipped him over the edge as he released hard, surrounded by her squeezing walls, which in turn, caused her to become sensitive and orgasm with him still deep inside of her as they both yelled each other’s names in pleasure.

The only noises that could be heard was their heavy breathing and the parting of lips as they gave each other loving pecks, trying to come down from their highs as he carefully pulled out.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened t’ me, you know?” She rolled onto her side to face the man that collapsed by her side and cuddled up to him, tracing the watch she had given him as a second Valentine’s Day present. In fact, she had the watch that matched. It came as a couple’s collection, what could she say?

“I know, baby girl. ‘N’ I love you very much.” He replied tiredly as he followed her movements on the timepiece.

“I love you too.”

         Though, how was she to know that he told her empty promises and gave her false assumptions?

The watch she had given him? He had unexpectedly dropped the bomb on her that he had supposedly ‘lost’ it one day nonchalantly, as if he didn’t really care, after coming back from one of his never ending nights out.

She still had hers.

She never took it off since she bought them both unless she showered and went to bed.

She always put it back on in the mornings even if she didn’t have plans. She just loved having the strap to remind her of their love when he wasn’t around.

However, whenever they fought, it always seemed to her that he forgot to speak with an underlying tone of adoration like she did since she could never really stay angry at him. Always pinpointing the cons of the situation they were arguing about and making her feel guilty that she even brought it up.

But ever since she packed up and walked away from his hold on her, she figured that the only thing she was genuinely guilty of, was loving him too much. Giving him too much.

She gave him everything she had to offer and during the first few years, she thought it was enough for him to believe she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

It was only when she started to feel her grip on him slipping away from her that she knew she was his second choice. Something that she never wanted to be.


If somebody asks how we died,
Please look them straight in the eye.
Call it, “suicide”.
Don’t fabricate, just tell 'em, babe.
It was suicide.
Don’t sugarcoat it, just let them know.


         The two men stood conversing with each other as they discussed the art that was on display for the event they were invited to. They had been colleagues before; however, they had lost contact after one of them took up a new job opportunity, meeting again after a good year or so and decided to catch up.

The art gallery consisted of the most recent masterpieces from unknown artists around the globe. It was an event organised to give exposure to struggling individuals chasing their dreams and it was people like Harry and his status who were invited to review the artworks and buy them if they were impressed. All the money earnt from these purchases go back to the original artists, which in turn, correlated to more of said artists’ pieces being on display in the future.

The prices they were going for weren’t exactly the cheapest either.

“‘Ey, didn’t your girl wan’ t’ be an artist?” Obviously, the break-up hadn’t reached the likes of Harry’s newfound pal yet and it instantly wiped the smile off of his face.

“Yeah.” A remorseful chuckle was puffed out, “Yeah, she did…”

“Actually, where is she? Yeh should’ve brought her along, yeh idiot, she would’ve loved this! Las’ time I saw yeh both, you couldn’t leave each other alone.” The uninformed man stood next to him gave him a playful nudge and a wink of the eye without noticing the sudden deflation of his friend.

“She, uh… She’s not my girl anymore.” He finally confessed after swirling his drink in his cup as he was pondering whether or not to actually tell the man beside him.

“Oh, shit, H, I didn’t mean t’-…” He began to apologise for being so insensitive but was interrupted by a shake of a curly head.

“‘S all good, don’t worry ‘bout it.” His eyes cast downwards, losing the twinkle in his eyes as he tried to smile genuinely.

“If yeh don’t mind me asking, mate, wha’ happened? You seemed so happy.” A hand was placed on his shoulder roughly as a form of comfort as he sighed heavily.

“It just… Didn’t work out.” A dismissive sip of his beverage came afterwards as the guilt of brushing his four-year relationship off like it was nothing came creeping up on his conscience.

“D’yeh really expect me t’ believe that, Harry?” The questioning tone of the man that clearly didn’t believe his reason for the end of his relationship only made Harry feel even worse about his disregard and internally convinced him to elaborate.

“It was my fault.” He rubbed his hand over his face, he didn’t realise actually talking about it would affect him this much - especially in public. “I, um… God. I cheated on her.”

The recoil of the friendly hand on his shoulder signified the disappointment his friend felt towards him but kept his mouth shut, willing him to continue to explain.

“She was everything I thought I wanted, that I needed. I had no doubt that she was the woman I could spend the rest of my life with.” Harry painfully started to release his pent up feelings ever since she walked away from him the week before. “I still think she is, you know?…”

He trailed his sentence off like he was ashamed to admit his feelings. He felt as if he didn’t even deserve to mention her name, let alone keep thinking about their future together. He pulled himself together, though, he owed her character enough to explain the situation fully and not give people even the faintest idea that it was her that caused the death of their relationship.

“I ruined four years of the happiest times of my life, Nick, for nothing… It was ‘bout five or so months. It lasted for five months. It jus’ happened, I never wanted to jeopardise wha’ her and I had bu’ it was when she was away for one of her work trips.” He felt the water building up behind his eyes, ready to start falling at anytime but he had to get it out. He didn’t care if he was in public or not, it had been eating him alive not being able to talk about it with anyone. “I went t’ the bar her and I always went when we were free. We used t’ talk for hours about jus’ anything. Each other. Our days. Our families. Our future… How much we loved each other…”

He had to quieten his voice at the end otherwise he knew he would’ve burst out into ugly tears. Not like he hadn’t been doing exactly that ever since the front door closed of their shared home. Well. His home. He didn’t even think it was a ‘home’ anymore. She was the one who made it feel like a home to him and when she left, it was just a building in which he slept in every night. With all of her belongings gone after she had come to pick up the rest, catching him in his time of vulnerability when he opened the door where he hoped she would’ve been back in his arms within the hour, it was just a house. There was no warmth left within its walls; only faded memories he tried so hard to block out as he spent his nights with a skimpily-clad woman he didn’t even know the middle name of.

“I met her at that same bar and we jus’ got t’ talking. I told her how lonely I felt with the love of my life away for weeks over a few drinks I bought us. By the time she was running her hand up ‘n’ down my leg, I wasn’t in my senses and jus’ allowed her to. The first time she kissed me the same night, I couldn’t stop her even if I tried - I was so far gone. And I… I enjoyed it. It’d been so long since I actually held someone close, video calls and textin’ can only do so much, y’know? ‘Fore I knew it, I woke up the next morning in someone else’s bed and her naked body beside mine in the exact same state. All of it jus’ spiralled out of my control from there, she never stopped callin’ me for another hook up and I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘no’… I should’ve, I know I should’ve, I had a perfect life with the perfect girl but I guess, for a moment, I wanted something else. Somethin’ new.” He didn’t even attempt to hide his shame as he looked up towards the ceiling to keep the rivers that flowed in his eyes at bay.

“She didn’t even try t’ leave as soon as she found out. She told me she knew at the third month about wha’ I was doin’ and said she stayed t’ try and change my mind.” He brought a closed fist up to his mouth, refusing to break down in such a public place, and already receiving a few judgemental stares from passersby as he struggled to contain his emotions. “God, she tried t’ change my mind…” He weakly let out a breath. “She did ev’rything for me. Her attitude towards me never changed at all, she still loved me with ev’rything she had. The best girl I could’ve ever asked for was all mine and I didn’t even give her a second glance most nights when I climbed into bed with her after I came on another girl’s tits.” His sudden outburst of anger directed at himself brought unwanted attention from the few that surrounded him, earning some disapproving stares and shushes.

“Why don’t yeh call her, H? You’re in bits.” A piece of advice was given to him from Nick who stood silently throughout his whole rant. The reply to it, however, was a mocking laugh as Harry threw his head back.

“Would you forgive me if you were her?” He stared blankly at the artwork in front of him, they must’ve been stood there for 10 minutes at the least.

Once again, silence was the dumbfounded man’s only response to his rhetorical question, and that was all Harry needed to nod to himself as if he finally understood. That he finally let it sink in that his relationship was indefinitely over and there was nothing he could’ve done to make it better.

There was only so many tears he could hold in at that moment before he couldn’t physically keep his wall up and all the emotions came rushing through the floodgates of his distress and trauma.

He had managed to keep himself together for all of the times he had to inform acquaintances of his new relationship status by simply brushing it off and saying exactly what he had told Nick at the beginning. But it had become too much for the secretly heartbroken man finally, and there he was. Sobbing disgustingly into his hand as he tried to cover his cries up to leave at least some of his dignity remaining intact.

He had come to the conclusion that it was never what she had done. It was never what she had said. And it was never what he thought he felt; like he just fell out of love with her. But it was everything to do with the way she still loved him unconditionally after acknowledging his unfaithfulness to her and it made his heart hurt.

By realising this too late, he had to live with himself knowing that he pushed her too far off the edge and that he actually did love her after all.

He still loved her.

But instead of falling asleep to the sight of her radiant face - peaceful as she cuddled into his body, he had to tell everyone that he, himself, killed the best relationship he had ever been in.


He had to call it ‘suicide’.

Lessons from Mrs Heteronormativity

Hi, I’m ’Mary’.
Or actually I’m A.G.R.A. Or – come to think of it – I’m rather ’Rosamund’. Or why not ‘Gabrielle’?

Or whatever. Whoever. The thing is, who I really am doesn’t matter; I could be anyone at all. ANYONE.

I’ll be who it’s convenient to be at any given moment. My mission: Serial Killer; I’m here to kill the series – slowly but surely.

I’m Mrs Heteronormativity; the one who tells you how to behave according to convention and normality. You do as I say – or else… I’m the one entitled to guide you through life, to make sure you remain perfectly ordinary. And here are some lessons about me I want to teach you:

1. You must always marry me; everyone knows it’s for the best.


2. Don’t even think about same-sex relationships!


3. I’m here to prevent any sidestepping.


4. Marrying an assassin is perfectly sane and normal. 

In fact anything is OK as long as it means No Homo. Oh, are you hurt? Sorry, but collateral damage is inevitable.


5. There’s no use trying to express your pathetic feelings if I tell you they are inappropriate.


6. Just so you know: I’m everything you wish for.


7. I make sure your baby’s name is appropriate to gender.


Which means:


Nope. 

Exactly. Good boy!


8. With me you’ll be sure to have the right family values.


9. I’ll always be there to tell you what to do – even if you think I’m dead. And it’s No Homo!


10. And ultimately, I’m the one who gets to define who you really are.

I do hope you’ve been paying attention to me now, and never more try to step out of the ordinary…


[This is, very much, how I see ‘Mary’. She’s not a real character – she’s a nightmare! That’s why she lacks any constancy regarding feelings or back-story or name or anything. And that’s why she keeps haunting the show even after her death, like a ghost. “Do not forget me” – we’re not getting a chance to ever forget the Abominable Bride, not even for a moment. She’s merely a metaphor. And series 3 and 4 are mainly about consequences – the results you get when you listen to this sort of concept and let it define your life.]

//I notice a lot of people seem pretty upset that the King is reenacting Rapunzel’s being trapped in the tower by keeping her locked inside the Kingdom. And a lot of people are saying this overprotective father trope is unoriginal and uncreative.

Normally, I would agree with that second point. But here’s the thing- that first point is narratively the ENTIRE point. The narrative is going to force Rapunzel, to a degree, to re-live her trauma.

Does Rapunzel deserve it? No. But is a three season TV series of nothing but fluff and happiness good TV? Also no.

The show is doing this because it wants Rapunzel, and by extension the audience, to deal with the reality of what happened to her. Rapunzel is an abuse victim. Rapunzel was isolated and held captive by a woman she genuinely thought was her mother. A woman Rapunzel loved and believed was protecting her and keeping her safe. A woman who deeply hurt and betrayed Rapunzel in the end, before dying right in front of her.

The Gothel-Rapunzel relationship is extremely complex. It grows even more complicated when you add Gothel’s emotional life into the mix. Gothel did not hate Rapunzel, or even disregard her. She cared for Rapunzel in her own way…but the hair always mattered more. And it was abusive, but Rapunzel felt loved, and in a way she was, but then Gothel was lying to her, but she loved her, didn’t she?

(That was getting a little into Rapunzel’s head. But do you see my point?)

That all put together is traumatic as fuck. That Rapunzel does not have full PTSD is a testament to her amazing resilience.

But to brush that all aside and have the narrative of this show focus on other things would, frankly, be irresponsible show writing. What this series is doing is showing its audience, quite blatantly, that they are not ignoring what Rapunzel went through. In fact, they are forcing her to deal with it by making her essentially re-live it, albeit on a different scale.

This is going to force Rapunzel to talk about it (which I get the sense she hasn’t.) It’s going to force her to be honest about her own feelings. It’s going to force her not to hide from her past. And I am so here for all of this.

Now, were there other ways the show could have done this? Sure. But they are smacking you across the face with it for the purpose of making it obvious. It is a kids show, afterall, and they don’t want to be too subtle. This seems the perfect level of subtlety to me, when I think of it from a child’s perspective.

So when you complain that the King is reminding you of Gothel?

Yes. And that is exactly the point.

So I just saw Wonder Woman

I cannot stress enough how important for girls to have good, strong, female role models. I’ve been obsessed with Super heroes since I was TWELVE and I’ve NEVER seen a female super hero portrayed in a way that captured the strength and power the hero was capable of without sacrificing the passion or the innocence of the character. My favourite female super “hero” is actually the villain Harley Quinn purely because she is absolutely fearless and she refuses to take shit from anybody without fail. She was the only female super anything that I had seen with that attitude EVER. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still love Harley and she will for ever be my queen of crazy, but tonight I finally found a version of a female hero whose main purpose wasn’t to be a sexy character that the “real” hero could flirt with. The film makers stayed true to the original costume, but not ONCE did I feel like they used it to sexualize her in an unnecessary way. She was sexy, naturally, but it wasn’t forced. She never had to use it in the attempt to seduce the bad guy, men were distracted by her, but the movie made it clear that that was not her fault, she was focused on her mission the entire time and never once faltered for a boy. They just did SO MANY THINGS RIGHT by keeping everything about her focused on her being a badass rather than her being fucking gorgeous, even though she is that too. The best part about her attitude is that she wasn’t “weird” because of it, it was normal and even encouraged for her to be like that. Speaking of attitude, let’s talk blocking. She was put in so many power positions throughout the movie, it was like she refused to let anyone ever look down on her. She had the high ground in SO MANY fights, she was running on rooftops, she was getting all up an some general’s face lecturing him about honour, and this girl WOULD NOT BACK DOWN. Someone tell her to stay put and she didn’t want to? She didn’t. She went exactly where she wanted, exactly when she wanted. And then, in one of my favourite moments, she FLIPS that classic “stay here, I’ll go ahead”, line that guys had been using on her throughout the movie back onto them before running STRAIGHT TOWARDS ENEMY FIRE AND TAKING OUT EVERY BAD GUY IN HER PATH. BUT for every ounce of magnificent attitude in her body, there was AT LEAST an equal amount of compassion. She genuinely cared for every civilian, for every soldier, for every person that she met and everything she did was guided by her desire to do what she believed was right. And despite being told she was wrong, that it was crazy, that “that’s not how the world works”, she was RIGHT. I won’t go into detail, because spoilers, but she was RIGHT. She also treated everybody like they were just as important as her and HELLO THIS GIRL IS TAKING OUT WHOLE PLATOONS NEARLY SINGLE HANDEDLY, SHE DESTROYED A FUCKING TANK AND SHE STILL DIDN’T SEE HERSELF AS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. And more on that compassion thing? She was still very capable of emotions and you could see them swirl together and twist themselves into knots as she tried to process the idea that everything may not be as she was raised to believe. However this is the first time I’ve seen a female super being feel emotions as powerfully as that and, rather than becoming useless or distracted by them, she was actually STRONGER because of the passion she was feeling. Let me repeat that HER FEELINGS DID NOT IN ANY WAY PREVENT HER FROM BEING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL BADASS. EVEN MALE SUPER HEROES AREN’T GENERALLY ALLOWED TO DO THAT. AND as for things that don’t directly relate to Diana herself, it dealt with soldiers suffering from PTSD (whom she reminded of their value and still saw them as warriors), carried a heavy theme of honour and acting on what you believe in, and it didn’t use the demeaning of men as a tactic for female empowerment. To be clear, it showcased Diana’s strength without making the guys come across as weak, cowardly, or immoral. That’s a victory for equality. I was physically shaking on the edge of my seat for most of the movie, I’ve literally spent the last 8 years of my life waiting for a hero like this, 100/10, GO WATCH THIS MOVIE.

Originally posted by diana-prince