and she'll never remember

My mom just watched Civil War, and I’m crying.

Highlights:

“WTF is wrong with Steve?!”

“The other two movies were better.”

“Hawkeye and Ant-Man are fucking morons. Not only did they ditch their kids, their families probably don’t even know where they are.”

“AND THEN HAWKEYE WENT AND GOT WANDA, WHO WAS FINE AT THE AVENGERS PLACE WITH FLOATING JARVIS, AND GOT HER IN TROUBLE, TOO.”

“AND SHE TRIED TO KILL TONY WITH CARS.”

“How much property damage did they cause?”

“’Steve, don’t do this, you’re going to make things worse.’ aaaaand there he goes, doing it anyway, and, what do you know, everything is worse.”

“Tony and the others aren’t even being mean about it, and Steve and everyone are being such assholes.”

“Except Sam. I still like Sam.”

“Why didn’t they just… they should have let us write this movie.” (After we talk for a few minutes on various scenarios)

“Steve kissing Sharon was weird. Just… no.”

“Is Paltrow going to be in any more movies?”

“I don’t know how I feel about Spiderman. I like him as Spiderman, but I didn’t care for the stuff with him as a kid.”

“I’m so angry.”

“Ant-Man was weird and dumb and out of place. Why did they even invite him?”

“You’d think Steve would have listened to Natasha, at least. And everyone is trying to be friendly when they convince him to sign the thing. Until the airport. Which he started.”

“What else has Black Panther been in?”

“Steve carjacked a police car. And beat a bunch of them up.”

“Did they leave Tony in the snow to die?!”

“AND NOW NATASHA HAS TO GO ON THE RUN, TOO, BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL BEING STUPID.”

“You know, I bet Bucky would have been fine if they had left him alone.”

“Seriously why Sharon and Steve? He dated her aunt, that’s nasty.”

“When’s the next Avengers movie? Who’s going to be in it?”

“I really miss Thor.” (Me too, mom. Me, too.)

Season 2 Prediction
  • After Final Fight: *Lafontaine is talking to us all. They say that there was an "accident" and that they didn't know what to even say anymore.*
  • Carmilla: *Emerges from around the corner. Her eyes are distant and bloodshot as she sits on the chase lounge*
  • Laf: Hey...
  • Carmilla: Hi.
  • Laf: Has...ya know...she said anything yet today?
  • Carmilla: No. At least not anything I can understand....What about mother-...I mean Perry. Still no sign of her?
  • Laf: *Poorly hidden sniffle from crying all night*...Not since she vanished along with that swarm of crows...
  • Carmilla: *Looks over at them with actual regret* I-Im sorry.
  • Laf: *Hears movement and stands to leave* I can handle myself. So can Perry. If you want to let Laura eat now I can go grab something...but ill have to barricade the door again.
  • Carmilla: ...Do whatever you want. *Holds head in hands* She's never going to forgive me.
  • Laf: You did what you had to do to save her...and now you both have a while to talk things out.
  • Ending Scene: *As they stand Laf off centers the camera and we see a tilted view of the side of the room where newly transformed Vampire Laura is chained down and going berserk with blood all over her and a crazy look in her eye*
  • Carmilla: All the shock and adrenaline is still making her blank out. The second she remembers what she did to Danny though...she'll never be the same...