and she might never have known the happiness she has now

Pearl Shattered Pink Diamond

So after the episode The Trial, I think it’s pretty clear who actually killed Pink Diamond. The Crewniverse is all about foreshadowing. Things have been foreshadowed or hinted at or left loose ended for sometimes anywhere between 50 to over 100 episodes.

Now, the show has been dropping hints literally since the series began that Pearl might have actually been the one to do the deed. But, I think that Zircon finally puts all the pieces together that were needed to confirm that it was Pearl.


Exhibit A:

“All Gems have shapeshifting powers, Steven.” - Pearl, Cat Fingers (S1E6)

Well, that’s really interesting Pearl. Really interesting that we’ve seen Amethyst and Garnet and even Steven shapeshift, but never you. Do you have a traumatizing incident you’ve been covering up for 5,000 years that might have something to do with that?


Exhibit B

“Well, if you ever want to see a demonstration of proper sword techniques, I’d be happy to show you.“ - Pearl, Steven the Sword Fighter

We’ve known for a LONG time that Pearl is a master with swords. And what shattered Pink Diamond? A sword.

“Who cares about her shield? Her huge sword is what I remember.” - Eyeball, Bubbled

“It was a sword! You…shattered her…with a sword!” - Blue Diamond, The Trial

It’s been mentioned a few times. Now, we ASSUME that it was Rose Quartz’s giant pink sword that Steven pulled from Lion’s mane. But, nobody has ever actually described it as such that was a witness. All that has been said is that it was a (huge) sword. That would be just the kind of thing the crew would use to try to throw us off the trail. Rose Quartz isn’t even shown using a sword in The Answer, but Pearl wields two. She has been working with swords for seemingly far longer than Rose.


Exhibit C:

That’s an nice looking insignia you have on your uniform there, Pearl. Say, aren’t you heading to Homeworld? Isn’t it the proper thing to do there to show off your loyalty to your Diamond? Look at that Pink Diamond on your chest there.


Exhibit D:

“I was there. I saw it with my own eye.” - Eyeball, Back to the Moon

Now, at this VERY MOMENT that this line is stated, Eyeball is currently being duped into thinking Amethyst is Jasper, just because she shapeshifted into someone that looks like Jasper. She’s purple. Jasper is orange. Added to the baseball game the Rubies were also duped into playing, Rubies can be EASILY fooled. Even when it comes to the shapeshifting department.


Exhibit E:

Now, Pearl’s expression here could mean much the same as Garnet’s. Garnet didn’t plan for Steven to find out like this. Neither did Pearl. But is Pearl, perhaps, much more worried that Steven will find out the REAL truth of who shattered Pink Diamond? Her reaction is just so much more dramatic, like her reaction is based on a different set of feelings than Garnet’s. Maybe this one is reaching a little bit, but let’s move on.


Exhibit F:

“Does this have anything to do with Pink Diamond? I already know mom shattered her, so what is it about this that you can’t tell me?” - Steven, Steven’s Dream

“Please, you’re making Pearl very upset.” - Garnet, Steven’s Dream

Why would Pearl be so upset about Pink Diamond’s palanquin? Or about Pink Diamond being shattered? Sure, it was an awful event. But it was helpful to the rebels. And Rose Quartz did it, anyway, so why would Pearl have reason to feel bad or be overly upset about? I mean, it could be because she used to belong to Pink Diamond and betrayed her and shattered her, but you know, that’s just a theory.

But you know, it would be really bad if Steven and the other Crystal Gems found out that not only did Pearl lie to them, but Rose Quartz as well. By the way Steven, your mom wasn’t quite as horrible as you were told. By the way, that gem you’ve been looking up to as the most mom like is the real shatterer.


Exhibit G:

“Because at the time that Pink was shattered, Rose Quartz had been a recognized threat for several hundred years. There were no Rose Quartz soldiers in her entourage and none in her guard. So how did a Rose Quartz, with no business being anywhere near Pink Diamond, get so close to her in the first place? Where were Pink Diamond’s attendants, Her Agates, Her Sapphires? And where was her Pearl?- Zircon, The Trial

It seems VERY significant that the crew would have that question be at the very end of Zircon’s line. Almost like they were trying to make it stand out on purpose.

But, much much more than that, Zircon stated that Pink Diamond had Sapphires on her court. Those who could see the future. Who would be looking into it for when and where Rose Quartz would strike next. Their focus would be on her. Their focus would be on looking towards outside threats to their Diamond.

Where would their focus not be? On the most trusted member of Pink Diamond’s court. The gem who was closer to her than any other gem, even a Diamond. Her Pearl.

Why would Homeworld even consider that a Pearl could think for herself? That a Pearl had the ability to shapeshift? They wouldn’t know. And when the dust settled and all that remained was a shocked Pearl and no Rose Quartz… who would be called as the MAIN witness to the crime? The gem who would have been RIGHT be her side during the whole ordeal. Her Pearl. A gem known to be able to holographicly replay and recreate events. Someone who was already a record keeper.


Exhibit H:

“Even if she did, wouldn’t her Pearl have cried out in her alarm, “Watch out, My Diamond!"” - Zircon, The Trial

Zircon is absolutely correct. Why would her Pearl have not been able to warn her? Even if all her guards and all her future seeking Sapphires somehow missed all of Rose Quartz’s planning and her sneaking up on them, why would the gem closest to her not give out any warning? But the line goes on to provide far more evidence.

“No, whoever did this was already close to Pink Diamond. Someone her guards would allow to get near her, someone she would listen to when asked to stop her palanquin, and step outside, and someone with the authority to cover it up afterward!” - Zircon, The Trial

The only thing Zircon got wrong was the part about authority. A Pearl would have been a record keeper. Able to, as previously stated, replay the event of Pink Diamond being shattered in its entirety, from her own point of view. Able to muddle the details of the event, seeming as if she was watching it all happen in shocked horror, while quickly committing the crime herself, instead. Someone the Diamonds would have trusted to be truthful, because why would she lie about the oh so tragic death of her Diamond?

All eyes would have been on Rose Quartz. Nobody would have been paying attention to her Pearl. Nobody would ever pay attention to a simple Pearl. They are, after all, just Pearls.

Yet, who would have been closer but the Pearl traveling WITH her INSIDE her palanquin? Who might have suggested they stop, and who might Pink Diamond have listened to? Who would the Sapphires never have their future vision turned towards? And who could have flubbed the story to cover it up after?


Exhibit I:

“I want to hear what she has to say.” - Blue Diamond, The Trial

“How? How did you do it?” - Blue Diamond, The Trial

“How did you shatter Pink Diamond?” - Blue Diamond, The Trial

“But the question no one seems to be asking is, "how?"” - Zircon, The Trial

"I’ve been asking that question.” - Blue Diamond, The Trial

THIS is why Blue Diamond is so adamant about knowing HOW Rose Quartz did it. Being able to slip past future vision and slip past guards was not built into the genetic make up of the Rose Quartz gems. How, then, did Rose come to possess such powers?! That is what is driving Blue Diamond crazy. But you know what? Rose Quartz didn’t possess those powers. Because Rose Quartz didn’t do it. Homeworld, the Diamonds, and even all the rebel forces on Rose Quartz’s side, were only meant to believe that she did.


Finally:

Consider that we know NOTHING of Pearl’s backstory. NOTHING. We do not know who owned her on Homeworld. We do not know when she rebelled.

We’ve gotten origin stories for Garnet and Amethyst, but Pearl remains shrouded in mystery despite us being 132 episodes into the series.

Why would it be such a secret if it wasn’t a big deal? Her backstory has remained scarce, been dodged around, and avoided. Something very important to the series is hidden in her backstory, in her history. Something that I think is going to be revealed very soon.

let’s talk about the Pearls

because their behaviour in The Trial was fascinating to me

At first, we see them exhibiting all their usual stuff. YP is as flourishing and Extra as always, and while for the most part BP is her usual quiet self, we see her display the most actual personality ever as she grins while drawing “Rose Quartz’s” death

But the tricky thing with the Diamonds’ Pearls is that it is very, very hard to tell what’s the real them. What are they really thinking, and what’s a show they have to put on to avoid their owners’ wrath?

Here, we see them lose their calm– both of them, at the same time, for the same reason. And not because of a direct threat/insult, like Yellow Pearl’s flinching from Yellow Diamond in “Message Recieved”. It’s a comment Blue Zircon makes:

“So how did a Rose Quartz with no business being anywhere near Pink Diamond get so close in the first place? Where were Pink Diamond’s attendants? Her Agates? Her Sapphires? And where was her Pearl?”

They both immediately freeze. YP’s expression is terrified. She looks directly and BP, as if either afraid for her, or searching for reassurance or guidance. We don’t know exactly what Blue Pearl’s expression is, with her eyes covered– but maybe fear too, or uncertainty, or surprise…

So the question is. Why?

1) They’re genuinely shocked. They’re so indoctrinated by Homeworld ideology that the thought that Pink Diamond’s Pearl didn’t do anything to protect her is an accusation which strikes them to their core

2) They’re afraid their Diamonds will lash out at them as scapegoats. This episode made it painfully clear that YD especially is pretty trigger happy, so I wouldn’t put it past her to occasionally strike out at blameless underlings

3) They know something.

This last one seems more likely to me. Because why else would they get so much focus? The question is– what?

Okay. Let me split this up into sub-theories:

  • They (or one of them) witnessed Pink Diamond’s death, and they have information which could explain the discrepancies Blue Zircon brought up. However, they never divulged it for whatever reason. (Possibly because, if there was a cover up, they could be at risk if the did). Now it might come out accidentally, and they could take the fallout.

  • One or both of them helped orchestrate Pink Diamond’s assassination, either directly or indirectly. The main issue is the question of how an obvious criminal like Rose Quartz could have gotten close enough to Pink Diamond to kill her. Pearls would have a great insight into how all the court hierarchies work. Since they’re considered to be basically dim-witted furniture, they’re pretty easily ignored. Combine this with abilities such as holographic projections, perhaps they could have found a way to smuggle Rose Quartz (or the true killer) close enough.

  • Another Pearl was directly involved in the smuggling and killing of Pink Diamond. While they didn’t plan it, BP and YP helped her (and any allies e.g. Rose Quartz) escape, because of Pearl Solidarity

Hmm…. but who could this other Pearl be… If only there was another Pearl in the show… a known rebel… who’s past history with Homeworld is shrouded in mystery…

Ah. Yes.

Now, I’ll admit, I don’t know exactly how Pearl exactly fits in. Rose Quartz being the killer seems important for the Arc of Steven coming to discover that his Mom’s past actions weren’t all sunshine and daisies, and the further arc of him realizing that maybe sometimes violence/shattering is necessary or justified. So maybe she just helped sneak Rose in, even if she didn’t deliver the killing blow herself. 

Although, if Pearl was the culprit, that might give even more impact to her expression when Steven discovered what happened to Pink Diamond in ‘Back to the Moon’

Admittedly, this can easily just be Pearl saddened that Steven’s discovered the truth. That the perfect image of his mother, the person Pearl loved and respected more than anyone else, has been broken. That his innocence has been lost.

But if she was responsible, it could also be fear that Steven– who is innocent, who still values the lives of everyone– would reject her if he discovered she was the one who did it. 

(Also, consider Pearl’s claims of being Rose’s sole confidant, the one who knows everything… The only one who knew the truth of Pink Diamond’s shattering.)

‘Course, we’ve got the little problem here that all eye witness accounts say that Rose Quartz killed Pink Diamond. As you might have noticed, Pearl looks absolutely nothing like Rose.

… but hey. How about shapeshifting? You know. That thing Pearl swears she can do, but that we’ve never seen her demonstrate in 132 episodes? This would be a pretty significant demonstration. And the trauma of using it for such a thing could explain why she hasn’t wanted to use it since. 

(Not sure why Pearl would have felt the need to disguise herself as Rose Quartz. Maybe it was because she knew all the other RQs got captured and bubbled for Rose’s rebellion, so Pearl was protect her fellows from a similar culling. Or maybe she thought showing the leader of the rebellion dealing the finishing blow would make a stronger image. idk)

That said, again, I still really am fond of Rose being responsible… so maybe we can split the difference and put the death on Rainbow Quartz? That would be rad too.

basically it’s all a mystery and i’m not sure where it’s going, but the Pearls almost definitely have some clue

Let’s end this on their worried faces

(protect them

general li mulan

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -

- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.

mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.

not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.

ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.

then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.

ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.

“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”

so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.

he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans. 

so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.

mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.

then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.

shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.

and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.

the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.

but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.

and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.

she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.

she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”

she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.

and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.

and they all live happily ever after.

A LIST OF SWAN QUEEN FAN FICTION

B/C I KNOW Y’ALL ARE TIRED OF LOOKING FOR SWANQUEEN FANFIC RECS ON TUMBLR SO HERES THE GOOD SHIT.

  • all of these are in english
  • if you have any recommendations or additions, please let me know!
  • some fanfictions that i originally planned to include on this list were deleted by their authors :( 


CLASSICS (favorites)

The Art Of Being Extraordinary - if you haven’t read this already, wyd? The ending will destroy you - be prepared to cry. 

Letters From War - another extremely well known fic among swen. a heart-wrenching and beautifully written AU fic. even if AUs aren’t your thing, seriously, give this one a try.

Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming.

A Trail Of Destruction - DEFINITELY a classic imo. this is one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

A hostage situation in City Hall leaves behind a battered, broken sheriff, and a mayor wracked with guilt. Trigger warnings for violence and gun threats and general angst. Slow-burn swan queen.

Miles To Go - AU; emma and regina meet at a party and the rest is history. this ones pretty long (80 chapters), but so worth the read! angsty & lots of ‘sexy times’ 

Everyone has their own story, this one is theirs and it paints the picture of a love story that spans over two decades, with all the ups and downs and everything else in between. SwanQueen AU
 

Of Love and Loathing - a lot of angry sex in the beginning, which eventually turns into lovey sex. another well known and well written fic - this author is one of my favorites. *reaaallyyy hot smut 

“I have been sleeping with someone,” Regina began tentatively, an acute awareness that once she said the words out loud that the madness behind her highly unorthodox situation became all the more real, “whom I absolutely loathe.” •Emma/Regina•

Meet me Halfway - one of the first swan queen fan fictions i ever read! still a classic to this day. AU

Emma Swan works hard every night as a bartender, struggling to raise her son and save up enough to own her own bar. Regina Mills is an upper class New York photographer who wouldn’t normally spare a second glance at people below her. When their paths cross, their lives adapt to each other, but how much are they willing to change?

Love Undefined - in the process of re-reading this one because of how much i love it. angsty as hell but such a beautiful story.

It’s been eight years since the last time Regina and Emma saw each other, eight years since Emma lost part of her happiness, her family, and everything fell apart. But she hasn’t forgotten those three years in New York, or any of what Regina had brought into her life. A late night phone call to Regina takes Emma back eleven years to when they met, saved each other from loneliness, and Emma started learning what it meant to live. She relives the moments that had changed her life for the better, and even the ones that had hurt.

Teacher’s Pet - KNOWN AS THE ONE TEACHER/STUDENT FANFIC THAT EVERYONE HAS READ. 

Emma Swan is starting her senior year. Her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher that she has on her schedule and how no one had passed her class with an A, not even her bookworm friend, Belle. What will she do? And who exactly is this ‘bitchy Evil Queen’ as they claim her to be? SwanQueen. Student/Teacher. M for language and future chapters.

Lost in Translation - i wasn’t sure about this before reading it but i LOVED it. the description pretty much sums it up.

AU. Regina is deaf. Emma is the only one who refuses to give her pity. In response, Regina is thrilled by this new challenge and the stand-offs commence, but over time she finds out there is more to the blonde woman than just a target to throw a stinging quip and pointed glare at.

Send Up a Signal - emma and regina are actresses and their fans ship them with each other. ;)

Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on a sanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-undermined star with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she’s invested. Naturally, they loathe each other on sight.Their characters’ fanbases, however, have other ideas.

Reset - SO. GOOD. 95 chapters. if you’re looking for long fanfics, this is for you. 

Following the breaking of the curse everyone in Storybrooke is finding their happy ending, with one exception. Resigning herself to having lost Henry’s love and respect forever, Regina decides there is only one path available to her.

Take Me Home Tonight - AU!! lots of smut :) this is a newer one that i’ve seen around twitter and tumblr and i really enjoyed it! this one’s pretty short (14 chapters)

AU: Nineteen year old Emma Swan is a senior at the exclusive all girls boarding school, Foxhaven Academy. When her friends find out she’s a virgin they send her to the city to find a guy to take her v-card. But Emma is more interested in a sexy older woman she meets in a bar. A SwanQueen story.

The Staircase - non-consensual sex in the first chapter, so please be aware of that; its not for eveyone. this story is very dark but has a happy ending i promise!

Regina could still smell her cologne and feel the cheap pleather pressing into her back. The brunette sucked in a breath. She was still lying on the floor at the staircase’s base and she stared back up at it. Everything was different now. Changed. She felt broken by what had just happened, appalled and enraged, dirty. WARNING: NC17 for non-consensual sex. Dark. (But gets lighter.)

the trouble with emma - very very well known within the swan queen community. i’ll be honest, i never really got into the story but i can acknowledge that it is the most well-written fanfiction i have read to date. the author is truly talented. (the first in a series of fanfics)

Post ep 4x23, Emma becomes the Dark One and learns nothing is quite as it seems or as simple as black versus white. When Regina removes the curse no one in Storybrooke is prepared for the far reaching fallout which leaves none of their lives unaltered or untouched, least of all Regina’s.

SMUT 

shadow haven  - the one smut fic everyone has read.

Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.

the wicked stepmother - the one kinky fic everyone has read- or attempted to. i couldn’t get through the whole thing but the first few chapters,,, holy hell.

When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter… but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

in control  - Regina had never been in the habit of relinquishing control, but when it came to Emma Swan, she was starting to find out that giving in had its benefits. - Established Swan Queen - One Shot. Rated M for language and content.

the collar - It will carry strong mature themes as well as a Mistress/Slave relationship but it is also a lot more than that. However, as a warning this story will celebrate the shades of grey of our favourite couple as they find their way to each other and will deal with darker elements of their characters. Emma’s history differs a little from canon but will be covered by the story but there is no Henry and she is an adult in this fiction.

a little taste  - author of A Fine Line and Letters from War. 

Emma has been desperate to know what it’s like to kiss the smirk off of Regina Mills, but when she finally gets the chance, it doesn’t seem to be enough.

tempest - A storm ushers in an expected opportunity for Regina to finally rid herself of Emma Swan. She will posses the sheriff’s heart and then crush it. But what happens when nothing goes as planned? Rated M for language and Swan Queen sexytimes.

come on be nice - Regina has decided that the quickest way to get rid of Emma Swan is to scare off the commitment phobic woman with a come-on. This, as with many of Regina’s plans, does not go as, well, planned. Rated M for Swan Queen sex.

black lace - Emma and Henry find a way around the 'no visiting’ rule involving binoculars and the walkie talkie. Emma’s attention is fully on her son, she truly doesn’t intend to watch Regina at all. At least until the mayor begins undressing in front of her window..

dirty words - Regina is plagued by thoughts of a certain blonde. Deciding she is in need of cathartic release, she writes a quick narrative in hopes of cleansing her system. However, by a happy accident, the story falls into the wrong hands. What will Emma do with this new and intriguing insight into the mayor’s mind?

damn you, miss swan  Emma visits the mayor one night with a bottle of wine to cheer her up. Anger issues and smeared lippy ensues. WARNING: Includes a non-explicit passing reference to rape. This is my first story. A/N Jan 2015: Way back when I wrote this, no one knew anyone’s back stories, so I just made up stuff. Don’t be upset for canon divergence if you read it now. It wasn’t canon then.

mirror tricks The Evil Queen has made her way to Storybrooke, but she only seems to be interested in one thing: Emma. When Regina realises this, her jealousy starts to get the better of her.

my enemy’s enemy After her mother’s death, Regina finds a terrible surprise hidden among the witch’s belongings. Unfortunately, the only one able to cure her from the ailment is Emma…if she agrees. Strong language and mature themes. First stab at SwanQueen :)

ANGST

to remember her happy ending - “She doesn’t even remember her family! How am I going to explain this to her when she hates me!” She was falling apart now. The way the women in the other room had just looked at her, with such disdain. That wasn’t her wife. That was the Mayor, the Evil Queen maybe…but not her wife.

for endings are where we begin Regina Mills is your average working mom - she spends long hours at her bakery, loves her son Henry with all that she is, and can touch dead things and bring them back to life.Emma Swan is an orphan, an ex-convict, and a bail bondsperson residing in Massachusetts. She is also currently dead.This is the story of how they meet.

the loudest silence - New to Chicago Emma, a professional cellist, is shocked to find that a beautiful deaf woman is her new president of the board. As their friendship grows Emma begins to wonder, what does it look like when a world of sound and a world of silence meet somewhere in the middle? SwanQueen AU

broken 16 year Emma Swan is a preachers daughter on a tight leash, what happens when Regina Mills returns to town, dark, mysterious and dangerous? Will her father’s expectations take over or will Emma follow her heart? Is Regina legit or is Emma cute little pawn? Will Emma be able to love Regina for who she is or will her dark past ruin it ALL! SwanQueen G!P Some BDSM

bring her home Cora’s dead. Henry lives with the Charmings. Regina continues spiraling through grief and loss and hatred. Then Emma suddenly falls unconscious and Henry shows up at Regina’s door because he needs her help to bring Emma back. Reluctantly, Regina embarks on a wild swan chase through Emma’s mind, a whirlwind of ‘roads‐less‐traveled’ and ‘what‐ifs’ and ‘might‐have‐beens’, in order to bring her home.

if the blazer fits Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it.

a fine line Upon Regina’s banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.

a pale imitation Regina is furious with Emma after she brings back Marian, but since she can’t take it out on her, Regina creates a mindless clone of Emma to hit instead. The clone doesn’t stay mindless for long though, developing an obsession with Regina. Written for summer 2014 Swan Queen Big Bang. (TW for sexual assault/rape and graphic depictions of violence)

FLUFF

one fine mess - Regina’s gut twisted with an agonizing pull and, for just a moment, she thought she might need to take up the same position as the woman crouched before her. “You’re pregnant?” she whispered grimly. Emma’s only response was to turn and retch into the toilet again. — Swan Queen, magic!pregnancy

coffee at midnight - (so good) Slow burn AU that starts with two women from different parts of the USA meeting on Twitter. Emma is an insomniac loner who is a Personal Trainer. Regina is a writer with a sleepless baby. Their lack of sleep and love for coffee soon brings them together and after that they find it hard to part. This is a fic where coffee is taking to mythical levels, despite it’s bad effect on people with insomnia and people with babies - showing that sometimes what you need and want isn’t always the thing that is wholesome and harmless. But also that denying yourself it will only lead to misery, something which Regina has to apply to other parts of her life.

all the single ladies With the library in desperate need of renovation, Storybrooke prepares for a fundraising dinner and bachelorette auction. What mischief and romance can be found as a result? SwanQueen with some RedBeauty Rating has been raised to M - now including adult content.


TEACHER+STUDENT / EMPLOYEE+BOSS

teacher’s pet - see above (classics)

take me home tonight - see above (classics)

step into my office, baby  - This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea.or, the one where they’re in an office.

teaching miss mills  - Swan Queen Teacher AU: Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to small-town life, gets her teaching mojo back and grows closer to Regina. NOW COMPLETE

troubled teachers - COMPLETE! SwanQueen AU. Geography teacher Emma Swan starts a new life far from her troubled past and meets history teacher Regina Mills. But all is not as it seems when it comes to the composed, intelligent, and beautiful brunette. Family struggles and difficult relationships lead to a friendship and soon something more blossoms. Rated M for Ch 7, 18, 22, 24, 28, 29, 31, 35 and 38

not a virgin anymore When college student Emma Swan wakes up one morning with no memory of what happened the night before she’s very surprised she finds herself in professor Mills’s bed. 

is that so, miss swan? - College student, Emma Swan, is confronted by her favorite professor and secret heart-throb, Dr. Regina Mills. What happens when Emma is forced to reveal her secrets? We shall see. AU. Slightly OOC at times. No magic. SwanQueen. Rated M for serious language and eventual sexy times between our two favorite ladies.

butterfly effect - in her final year of college, Emma finds she has more to account for than the extra credits she needs in order to graduate. Only… she doesn’t expect it to come in the form of her newest instructor, Professor Regina Mills. Complete. AU Swan Queen

a sophisticated seduction Emma’s a college student, working as an intern at the Dazzle Magazine for a powerful woman she has never had the good fortune of meeting. But everything in her life is about to change when they finally meet. Especially when one falls so deeply in love with the other and the insecurities from a broken marriage comes to light. (Not Based on The Devil Wears Prada)

some other faves

down east decisions - Massachusetts State Police Capt. Emma Swan leaves her red-hot career to become the police chief of sleepy Storybrooke, Maine. She’s hoping for a less-complicated, less-dangerous life, a desire that is dashed on both counts. AU. No magic. Crime drama and romance. Swan Queen is endgame.

that drunken night - Emma’s wasted and accidentally calls Regina instead of her mom. And Regina isn’t as loathe to talk to the blonde as she usually pretends. Did things change between them so radically while they were in Neverland? (No copyright infringement intended.)

chasing henry - SQ. Tired of the tricks and lies of both of his mothers, Henry follows the dwarves, Red and Granny when they use Tiny’s magic beans to return themselves to their old land. Emma and Regina both chase after him, and they reluctantly travel together through the Enchanted Forest in order to find him and bring him back home safely.

so does this make us both the other woman? - Set after 3b in a peaceful Storybrooke where Regina is with Robin and Emma’s fallen into a relationship with Hook. Shame about all that subtext that’s rapidly threatening to become text.

Hey there everyone! WHOO! Finally got a reprieve, as I’m done with my drawings for my final project, now I have to continue typing the written parts.

Done largely in part because I love the lore, practice drawing human characters, and to pass the time whenever I need a breather from from college.

While researching for the lore of Dark Souls for my In-progress AU Comic, I noticed how LARGE the mythology of Dark Souls and the deities that reside, along with the fan speculation of which god corresponds with whom and etc. In spite of all this, from what I can tell, outside of Gwyn’s family, there has never been a, for lack of a better term, “compendium piece” of the gods and goddesses of dark souls, so I made my own :D

Because some gods are not represented in imagery, I decided to design how they might look if they ever showed up amongst mortals. I owe a lot to Tumblr, Reddit and the DS fandom as a whole, the amount of theory and lore discussions are always gold, and of course, the lore-lords like @vaatividya and @silver-mont, their vids are always interesting to watch :)

From the Top Row: The Bearers of the Lord Souls

Gravelord Nito: No need for an explanation here xD

Gwyn, Lord of Sunlight: Drawing him was easy, but here I wanted portray a very stern, no-nonsense god king who really, REALLY is someone you don’t want to piss off, and someone who is almost NEVER happy and/or satisfied.

The Witch of Izalith: I’m honestly surprised there’s not much fanart of how her face might look like, so I pitched in. She basically resembles her daughters, but with a more matriarchal vibe, with a stronger jawline and sharper eyes to reflect that. She’s also very tall, towering over Gwyn and just slightly edging out NK in height.

The Furtive Pygmies, featuring Manus and a Pygmy Lord: With the Ringed City revealing that there were SEVERAL pygmies, I had quite some fun with the speculation and possibilities of how the Pygmies as a whole looked like.

Personally? I simply interpret them as humans but more, with more power over the dark soul, but otherwise having different roles in society like regular folk, the Ringed Knights are Warriors, the Lords are the rulers, etc.

I put Manus amongst them, why? Because no way should ONE man be able to have THAT much abyss power just because he’s a human. Since the dark soul is divided amongst humans, I interpret him having a huge chunk of the Dark Soul (as per these two threads), and thus was simply a mighty sorceror who happened to be really, REALLY old, even by Pygmy standards. Plus I always wondered… How does one torture a dead man? The Mad King was described as undying, so according to my own logic, he wasn’t totally “dead” when he was buried. His grave could signify him wanting a modicum of peace, after all, his entire race was basically put in a glorified prison by Gwyn… Sensing the growing madness within him (probably due to sheer isolation), he probably decided to “die” on his own terms in Oolacile… then future idiots proceeded to listen to TOTALLY NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL SERPENT and dug up his grave.

The random Pygmy Lord is basically representing one of the first Pygmy Lords.


Second Row: The Children of the Gods

The Nameless King, Firstborn of Gwyn, God of War: In a short period of time, has become my favorite character amongst the gods… There’s so much of a story to tell from him, his relationship with his family, the reasons as to WHY he betrayed the dragons, and thanks to lore threads a-plenty, I interpret him as one of the most honorable and dedicated of the gods. He watches over his warriors of sunlight even if they ARE humans (whom Gwyn HATES) AND he protects Dragons. Despite meI head-canoning him bigger than Gwyn and is in general a wall of muscle and armor, he’s STILL shorter than his sisters.

Gwynevere, Goddess of Fertility: Gwynevere here I interpret as one of the nicer gods, so I made her expression to reflect such. Because Gwyndolin’s illusion of her may be simply him projecting what he remembers most of her and thus potentially exaggerating certain aspects, I toned down a lot the “Aphrodite-esque” glamor, in favor of a more personable look, though still decked out.

Filianore: The daughter we know even less of than Gwynevere, but thanks to a certain reddit thread that discussed how dedicated NK was to her via the floral carvings that is present in Archdragon peak… She must have been someone who NK was VERY close with, so I interpret her as the “Always trying to bring life to the family” kind of sister, though closest to her eldest brother.

Gwyndolin: The Dark Sun himself. Not much else to say here, I just wanted to draw him happy for once… Because WHY FROM? He really, really needs it.


The Daughters of Chaos

Quelana, Mother of Pyromancy: Due to her own title, I interpret her as the Studious Daughter, incredibly dedicated to her craft and always finding out ways to further her pyromancy… Until the Chaos Flame incident happened of course… Then she became wracked with survivor’s guilt…

I also interpret her as being the responsible one looking out to make sure her sisters don’t do anything too brash… Though in hindsight, that would make her suvivor’s guilt worse.

Quelaag: The most well known Chaos Daughter, and whom I interpret as The Aggressive Daughter, hence why she’s the only one of the sisters with a melee weapon. As the most in-your-face daughter I head-canon that she is the one who lowers down her hood the most, especially when she feels like challenging someone. Also VERY protective of her family.

Quelaan, The Fair Lady: Last but not least, I interpret Quelaan as always having been the shyest and nicest of the daughters. Her hood is more drooped down compared to Quelana, to highlight her shyness.

Fun fact, while trying to find her real name, turns out the name Quelaan was the name the community gave to her, and just became established fanon, so I just opted to name her just that.


Third Row: Other Members of the Larger Pantheon

All-Father Lloyd: Gwyn’s uncle, founder of the Way of White. Now there IS speculation that he’s not real, but here I interpret as the real deal, and thus looks like a wimpier, older version of Gwyn, yet still has an aura of authority. I used a bit of Paladin Leeroy for his crown, because I interpret that, when he REALLY needs to get his hands dirty, he too wields a mace, setting an example to all paladin-esque worshipers after him.

His clothes are tattered despite being the godly equivalent of a pontiff, to highlight two things:

One, despite him being a “lord”, his tattered look is to signify he is not “above” the rabble/his followers.

Two, I head-canon him becoming slowly more insane and full of hate toward the undead,as more and more of his family and friends either dies off or leaving home… He eventually disappears for unknown reasons and becomes forgotten.

Fina, Goddess of Love: The most popular candidate for Gwyn’s wife, or at least his first, I wanted to design her with the Embraced Set in mind, just modified to look more queenly rather than armor. Going by the general fanon, I interpret her as the mother of both NK and Gwynevere, but due to unknown circumstances, just up-and-left. Why? I dunno I haven’t thought that deep :(

Also wanted to try out and giving her a different look, skin-tone and facial wise compared to all the other gods and goddesses out there.

Velka, Goddess of Sin: My favorite goddess, her lore and weaponry associated with her is cool, but even with DS3 and all its DLC, I wish we got to know more of her and how she even became the one to hold the title of “goddess of sin” and how she absolves it. She is also, I noticed in fan-art and fanfic, the other most popular candidate for Gwyn’s wife.

Due to the fact that both Gwyndolin and Filianore are associated with illusions and magic, I interpret her as the mother of Filianore and Gwyndolin. She has sharp features and very pale skin, and share’s Filianore’s dark hair.

For her design, I compared aspects of the Statue of Velka from DS3, and both Oswald of Carim and Cromwell the pardoner. I didn’t want her to strictly dress like Oswald and Cromwell, so I incorporated more feathers to her outfit to give her a more “regal” look, as befitting a goddess, and not just pardoner. Funnily enough, with her book of sins and outfit, she also gives the aura of a medieval judge.

Caitha, Goddess of Tears: The third goddess associated with Carim, and one that I intentionally kept her eyes hidden. Mentioned in both 2 and 3, I want to reflect her constant “mourning” nature, and since ‘Gentle Prayer’ is associated with her chime in DS3, I thought her being in a position of prayer would be most appropriate.

Nahr Alma, God of Blood and Murder: Take Titchy Gren, make him more beast-like in proportion, now make him the size of Father Ariandel with the animalistic agility of the Orphan of Kos or Slave Knight Gael, and you have the God of Blood himself. I interpret him as a kind of god that is shunned by the rest, and is mostly treated as an attack dog, and nothing more. REALLY resents the other gods.

I believe Spencer’s twin is coming.

In this post I want to give a list of reasons why Twincer is my prime suspect as AD. I know a lot of these ‘clues’ come from interviews, but they’re still really convincing for me at least. I’ve definitely missed some of the clues from within the show because they’re not as easy to spot - we need to know for sure if Twincer is happening, then we can dig further. (The fun won’t instantly stop once the finale airs.) But for now, enjoy these, and at the end, I give my theory as to the motive.

Please note: none of this is overly new. This is just the summation of everything we’ve been talking about on my blog for the past couple months. I wanted to put all the ideas into one post, rather than 31529 mini posts scattered here and there. I will be updating this as we find more. 

  1. The famous airport scene from 715.
    We all already think it’s weird that "Spencer" asked Ezra to not tell anyone he saw her there with Wren. What’s weirder, is the fact that Wren and “Spencer” were arguing. Amongst muffle, I heard Spencer say "stop calling me that" (let me know if you heard differently). Did Wren have a slip-of-the-tongue moment and call her Spencer rather than the twin’s real name?
  2. Dr. Cochran’s story is very telling.
    We all already know the ambiguous implication that Mary had more than two babies, because Dr. Cochran said he dealt with “two of Mary’s babies”. What’s more interesting is the second baby he dealt with. The first baby (Charlotte) he gave to Jessica. He said that the second baby that he delivered was placed in family county services. This could not have been Spencer, since Spencer was delivered to Veronica within 5 minutes of birth. So, who was that second baby that was placed in family services? I believe it was Spencer’s twin. Why? Dr Cochran referred to that second baby as “underweight but tenacious” - lo and behold, the next episode, Toby calls Spencer tenacious. This was the writers foreshadowing the similarities between this second baby, and Spencer. Twins. 
  3. We all know Hanna’s ‘dream’ in 701.
    It makes no sense that Hanna was able to dream ‘Spencer’ saying the name A.D. since Hanna was kidnapped before these initials were even revealed. Perhaps Hanna was visited by Twincer; the one holding her captive.
  4. A.D. needs to stand for something. 
    Spencer’s twin could literally have the initials A.D., since we know she would be Mary Drake’s child. Her first name would start with A and the D would stand for Drake. 
  5. Brendan and Ian both confessed to being confused by the identity of A.D.
    They needed the backstory to understand it. Is that because they had no idea who has the name “Alex Drake” (for example) ?
  6. Tyler said before 7B aired that “you’ve never met AD. You kind of have. You’ll know what I mean”.
    This can be interpreted in two ways: you’ve never met Twincer but since you know Spencer, you kind of know who AD is. Or. You’ve seen Twincer over the years, but thought it was Spencer. Either way, Tyler’s comment screams twin-theory to me. This could apply to any twin theory, but in this context, I’m using it for Spencer.
  7. Ian said (0:57) that “fans will be satisfied to a point. Right when it seems it’s gonna be really great, it might do a little [downwards hand motion]”….
    That cheeky smile on Ian’s face when he said “it seems it’s gonna be really great”… what could be greater than a liar being AD? Ian could be referring to the fact that they initially show us Troian under the hoodie, making us think Spencer is AD. Then, after commercial break, they will reveal it’s just her twin, hence the “it might do a little [downwards hand motion]”. We will be satisfied to a point, he said. It’ll start off amazing by thinking it’s Spencer, oh wait, it’s another twin.
  8. Ashley said (0:14) that she didn’t even know the A.D. reveal is possible.
    Because she did not expect a second pair of twins to come along?
  9. “It’s like there are two of you living in this house. You, and you’re evil twin, and we’re not sure who’s coming down to breakfast". 
    said Veronica to Spencer in 423. Foreshadowing at it’s finest.
  10. Spencer doesn’t remember this flashback.
    Was it her twin? And oh how coincidental, that the writers tell us a time Spencer doesn’t remember, in the same scene Veronica makes the above comment about Spencer’s “evil twin”.
  11. “Where are they?”
    said Mary as she entered the Hastings house (flashback from 717). Who is they? The twins? She proceeded to say that Spencer is the only good thing she’s ever made. Maybe Mary knows Spencer’s twin is evil, and is neglecting her. 
  12. “You look very much like your sister. Almost like twins”.
    said Mary to Spencer in 701. The writers wanted us to think that Mary was talking about Spencer and Melissa, since Mary was holding a picture of the half-sisters. But, were the writers, and therefore Mary, hinting towards Twincer? Is Mary being blackmailed/forced (by Peter?) to keep quiet on Twincer, and she had a slip-of-the-tongue moment here?
  13. Marlene is very aware of the Twincer theories.
    Back in 2014 she said that Troian sent her an online fan theory regarding Spencer having a twin who is A. Marlene was blown away by it and she thought it was a very well thought out plan with detailed evidence across the series. Watch from 1:35. Whilst you may be saying “there’s NO WAY Marlene spoilt her own show’s ending in an interview!!” - I feel like she had no idea the show would go on for 7 seasons, and once they got renewed, she panicked. “Shit, we need a new Uber A. Let’s go with that brilliant fan theory Troian sent me”. She probably regrets making this interview now. You can tell her passion for Twincer in this interview. She talks so damn highly of it.
  14. Marlene has said that the person who plays A.D. had known for a while.
    We know that Marlene told Troian the entire ending of the show years in advance. “Just like I had story time with Marlene, you all now get story time with Pretty Little Liars” said Troian.
  15. The girl in the coffin in the opening has the exact same black puffy shirt as Spencer.
  16. Why does it seem that A.D. is always going after the Hastings?
    Why shoot Spencer, out of all the liars? Why demand Aria to plant the audio device in the Hastings? Why not ruin the Marin household? The jealous twin wants her ungrateful sister dead, hence the shooting, and the jealous daughter is angry she never got adopted. Too much of the story is Hastings-oriented. 
  17. “They’re all some pretty. Good. Theories.”
    Was Janel’s response to being asked about the Spencer-twin theories. (22:20)
  18. And, I’ll just leave this here. Good one @prettylittlesessions​ !
  19. “Spencer’s” weird comments in 718.
    In 718 “Spencer” says to Toby “you know what its like to be the outsider. Removed from friends and family”. What made her say this? Nothing was said or done in 718 to prompt our Spencer to say this. 
  20. Keegan said there are no more Spoby kisses in 7B.
    “I can honestly say that there is not another Spoby kiss.” Yet - there was one in 718. Either Keegan lied, or that was Spencer’s twin. (10:15)
  21. “It’s somebody you have seen.”
    says Marlene in regards to who AD is. Was she talking about the Spoby kiss in 710, which Twincer referred to in 718 when she kissed Toby again? Marlene was very careful to avoid saying “it’s someone you KNOW”. We don't “know” Twincer. But, we have seen her.
  22. “That’s not the Spencer I know”
    said Toby in 718. Writers are foreshadowing.

Setting all this aside, I want to add my theory on the backstory and motive:

  • Twincer, who’s name is A_____ Drake, was born in Radley, as Dr. Cochran told us in 7A. 
  • Twincer was raised in Radley - not because she needed to be at a psychological hospital, but as a form of daycare, because Mary was deemed an unfit mother, and also she kept Twincer a secret from Peter… he already hated her (to the point of planning her murder, later on) enough for having one baby together, imagine Peter’s reaction to having twins.
  • There, Twincer met and bonded with her sister Charlotte. Charlotte became Twincer’s only friend. (Twincer might even be Bethany, since we already know of this bond between Bethany and Charlotte, and how Bethany was drawing Charles being taken away by a monster. But for this theory, let’s just forget Bethany for a second.)
  • When Mona came to Radley and started telling Charlotte about everything she did to her sister, Charlotte and Twincer wanted to play. They wanted a turn at harassing Spencer and her friends.
  • For Charlotte, as we know, it was the feeling of finally succeeding at something in life that made the game her drug. For Twincer, it was something far darker.
  • Harassing Aria, Hanna, Emily and Alison is all about driving a wedge between the girls. Twincer wants to break up the girls. Turn them against each other. Hopefully by throwing fire at the girls, they will break up, ultimately, to ruin Spencer’s life. Again, jealousy. Twincer’s plan is backfiring because it’s exactly A’s threats that makes Spencer say “we need each other more than ever” and “always stick together”. The writers keep making the point of SPENCER being the one to make the comments about “always” sticking together. Twincer cannot break Spencer and her bitches. This is fueling Twincer’s anger. Nothing is working.
  • That’s why AD/Twincer recently shot Spencer. “If I can’t break the girls up to ruin Spencer’s life, why not just become Spencer?” Twincer shot Spencer in an attempt to assume her identity and squeeze her way into the loving friendship group that she could never crack. “These girls are so loyal to each other… they don’t even break up after even my threats. Damn, I want to be a part of this. It’s my turn to live a happy life. You had your turn Spencer.”
  • Note: I do not believe that AD has been operating since season 1. Mona’s time as A is completely independent from Charlotte and Twincer’s story. Mona started the game, and now someone is ending it, and she wants to know who. Charlotte and Twincer are their own duo; their own A-team, which stemmed as a result of Mona coming to Radley. Charlotte revealed herself - next up in the A team is Twincer, who is carrying on the game she once played with her sister. 
ASTRO’S True Debut

After talking with @sanhatation​ and @moon-hyuks​ for.. a couple of hours(?), we cracked the code.

Hide & Seek: So the girl and ASTRO are in two separate realities.  This is marked by the change of saturation between the two.  Anywhere ASTRO is, it’s overly saturated.  Anywhere the girl is, it’s rather dull in comparison.  The girl can’t directly interact with ASTRO and vice versa.  She only can interact with ASTRO through mirrors and shadows.  At the end of the music video, the girl wakes up.  She was only dreaming about ASTRO.  ASTRO were part of her dream.

Breathless: ASTRO are soda bottles.  They’re with the girl and they’re influenced by her.  If the cooler tips over, ASTRO falls.  If the cooler is shaken, ASTRO is also.  However, ASTRO still cannot directly interact with the girl.  At the end of the music video, ASTRO wakes up.  ASTRO were dreaming of the girl that once dreamed of them.

Confession: ASTRO and the girl are now together.  Both of them have direct influence on each other.  ASTRO makes the girl happy and keeps her company, the girl can put ASTRO in situations (like making them holding tennis rackets and then take them away, for example).  At the end, it appears that the girl is leaving ASTRO.  ASTRO were never real to her anyway.  They were drawings, hopes and dreams of a perfect boy projected into a drawing.

The more ASTRO and the girl could communicate, the more real ASTRO became.  Or did they?

To Be Continued:  The name doesn’t make sense.  What does “to be continued” have to do with what happened in the show?

If you think about it, it really doesn’t have anything to do with it.  What’s being continued?  Nothing.  This is where the drama ends, leading off to ASTRO’s debut.

The girl woke up in Hide&Seek.  ASTRO weren’t actually with her.  ASTRO were a figment of her imagination, and she wasn’t actually with them.  In Breathless, ASTRO were the one to wake up.  The girl was a figment of ASTRO’s imagination, and there wasn’t actually a girl.  Nobody really seemed to wake up in Confession, but ASTRO were just dreams to the girl anyway.  ASTRO has never been an object in reality.

But what about the new song, the new concept, which is a direct continuation of Confession?

For the teaser photos of 붙잡았아여해 (Should’ve Held On), you might have noticed the mattress in the bathroom.

What do you do on a mattress?  You sleep.  ASTRO is saying that they “should’ve held on” to this dream, because once they wake up (once they become famous and wake up from this perfect dream their careers have been so far), things might change.

ASTRO being with the girl has never been real from the beginning.  In Hide&Seek, they were in the imagination of the girl.  In Breathless, the girl was in their imagination.  In Confession, they were the hopes and dreams of someone.  ASTRO have been dreaming of these girls, of their fans, of their first loves, but none of it is real.  Not until now, until Should’ve Held On.

ASTRO are waking up.  For the last year, over a year, since To Be Continued, ASTRO have been asleep.  They’ve been dreaming about AROHA, wanting to meet AROHA, their fans, wanting to experience that first love with AROHA.  They haven’t been able to, though.  They’ve been dreaming about the experience.

This wasn’t ASTRO’s true debut.  It was a dream.  (It was a debut, but hold on, don’t get lost yet.)

In To Be Continued, ASTRO goes to the past, back to when they were high school students.  In Hide&Seek and Confession, they wear school uniforms.  Up until this point, every comeback has been in the past.

At the end of To Be Continued, what happens?  ASTRO debuts, but it’s with a concept quite different from Hide&Seek.  Surely when this was filmed, ASTRO knew they were going to debut.  They might not have known when, but Fantagio must have.  Agencies do tend to plan very far in advance.  Even ASTRO was surprised by their debut concept being Hide&Seek.  It was so different from what they did up until that point.

The following is an excerpt from XP Star Shot’s article “ Debuting with a Bright Concept? We Couldn’t Have Imagined It”

Let’s now speak truthfully. Did you think that you were gonna be debuting this zesty?
Moonbin:
Before debuting, I couldn’t imagine that we’d be coming out with this kind of image. Big Bang, BTS, etc., we covered a lot songs with a strong concept when we were trainees. We never really tried soft and cute so at the beginning when they played the song for us at the company saying, “You guys will be debuting with this kind of song,” I was really shocked. Since it was of a completely different feel. I remember how hard conveying ourselves and making (the right) facial expressions was.

That’s because they’ve been practicing and finding themselves for the last year and a half.  They haven’t made their true debut, the debut that comes at the end of To Be Continued.

ASTRO have debuted.  They had Hide&Seek with Spring Up, Breathless with Summer Vibes, etc., but none of it was real.  ASTRO’s true concept, their true “debut” concept, is still to come.  But they’ve already done their debut. The debut that happens at the end of To Be Continued is still in the future from right now.  

ASTRO have been practicing.  When they debut with their true concept, their next album (after Winter Dreams), then they will be awake from the dream they’ve been in the last 4 albums.

If the “debut” in To Be Continued is in the future from now…

Eunwoo would be right.  They have  done it before.  They have debuted already, but they’re still nervous because this would be a true debut.

In To Be Continued, MJ even talks about reality being cruel.  ASTRO’s reality up until this point hasn’t been cruel.  They have a very successful career as rookies.  MJ knows reality is cruel.

But Saeron has comforting words to offer.

If you look at ASTRO where they are right now, in 2017, they are prepared for the future.  They might not be the most well known group out there, but they are prepared.  They know how music shows work, they know how to promote their album, they know how to treat each other and how to treat fans.  They have been preparing ever since Hide&Seek.

TL;DR: ASTRO have been preparing, dreaming, up until this point.  Nothing has been real.  Their dreams (Spring Up, Summer Vibes, and Autumn Story) have been easy.  Now they’re waking up from those dreams (Winter Dream).  They’re been prepared since the beginning, and once they’re awake, they can truly live with their fans and first loves and experience reality.

To Be Continued - Episode 12 screenshots - source

Article translation excerpt - source

Extra contributions below the cut

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anonymous asked:

Now I'm a new follower so if you've answered an ask like this before I apologize, but why do you ship Kachako?

I ACTUALLY HAVE NOT ANSWERED AN ASK LIKE THIS BEFORE SO NO WORRIES

i actually haven’t posted why i enjoy Kacchako so much, tho i have spoken with a few friends about it. but OH MAN…. oh gosh where do i even start jkslg;ha;lghkal;ghskal

ok so. a big part of it comes from their relationship in canon. both characters have a large amount of respect for each other. they’ve only interacted a few times (including in the omake), but each time is fairly insightful to the characters, and particularly when said characters comment about each other to other characters.

but it’s also how their relationship has a lot of potential in the narrative to drive both character’s development further really interesting directions.

to start, their fight. their fight at the Sports Festival was the first time Bakugou ever actually noticed Uraraka. before she was just sorta that unnamed girl who hung around Izuku. 

Uraraka had noticed Bakugou before, but mostly she just wanted to stay out of his way (like with her line after the class president vote when Bakugou asks who voted for Deku, “I hope he doesn’t find out it was me…”)

but oh man. their fight. their fight is AMAZING on so many levels. it’s not just about Uraraka and Bakugou battling each other, there are many, many layers to it.

for example, the reason why Uraraka is fighting so hard in the first place. she wants to support her parents. her family grew up poor, and the whole reason she’s at UA, trying to become a hero, is because she wants to help support her parents financially. this fight is her proving just how far she’s willing to go in order to fulfill that goal.

she’s willing to go toe-to-toe against Bakugou, who never goes easy on anyone, in order to prove what she’s made of. hell, she even thanks Bakugou for not going easy on her.

and it’s not just that. right before this fight, she realized that she was riding on Izuku’s success without improving herself all that much. she thought she was being friendly, but she realized that she really was just hoping that Izuku would get her through the day again.

she feels shame for it. when Iida said that he wants to prove himself against Izuku, she feels shameful of her own actions.

so she decided to change. she decided to put her all into fighting Bakugou, proving that she can make it to the finals just like Deku. that she can do it by herself. she wanted to prove it to everyone. she wanted to prove it to herself that she could do it.

this fight gave Uraraka so much character development. before this fight, she was still sorta… there. we didn’t have much character motivation, and she was mostly just the happy, bubbly Love Interest/main female character. we heard that she was poor, but this fight put that motivation to the forefront of her character and proved just how much potential she has to grow and develop.

and on Bakugou’s end, it’s really interesting. right from the get-go he warns her that if she’s gonna forfeit she needs to do it now, because he won’t go easy on her. and through out the fight he proves just that–however, despite the pummeling Bakugou gave her over and over again, she continued to come back for more.

she refused to give up. nothing he did could put her down for long. she always got back up on her feet and kept running in for an attack. 

Aizawa says it here clearly: by refusing to go easy on her, he’s acknowledging her strength. he’s showing her respect as an opponent. she’s not just a fragile little girl being beaten up by the Big Bad Blasty-guy, they’re equals on the battleground, and Bakugou refuses to let his guard down around her because they’ve both made it this far.

Bakugou lost against Izuku in the first Heroes vs. Villains training arc, and it was largely because he underestimated Izuku, and overestimated himself. Bakugou learned his lesson, and is refusing to do the same thing here. 

Uraraka went through the same things he did at UA. she was there during his fight it Izuku, she was there when the villains invaded, she made it through the Sports Festival and met him as an opponent. clearly, she’s not someone to treat lightly.

what’s particularly interesting tho, is that at the end of the fight, Bakugou looks EXTREMELY EXCITED to keep fighting her. 

Uraraka landed her final attack, which failed (because Bakugou used his largest blast to blow it away–you can see his hands shaking afterwards). Bakugou is ready to keep going, and rushes at her, with this huge, excited grin on his face, and says her name for the first time.

she surprised him. she impressed him. she shocked him.

Bakugou doesn’t remember people’s names. he can’t be bothered. he calls everyone by degrading nicknames, like Drooly, or Soy-Sauce Face, Raccoon Eyes, Deku, etc. The only characters he calls by name are All Might, Kirishima, and Uraraka.

All Might, because he’s the person Bakugou looks up to the most.

Kirishima is interesting. Bakugou has known Kirishima fairly well since at least the USJ incident. he kept calling him Hair-for-Brains until the cavalry battle at the Sports Festival, which is the first time he calls Kirishima by his name.

Bakugou first met Uraraka at the Sports Festival, and fought her for half an hour, at best. at the beginning, he calls her Round-Face. however, in that time, she impressed him so much that he started calling her by her name mid-fight.

when Bakugou starts calling people by their names, he doesn’t go back from that. he keeps calling them by their names. it’s his personal form of respect, that’s very subtle and understated. 

what’s also really interesting about their fight is Bakugou’s reaction after Uraraka falls. 

he looks shocked, in a way that we haven’t ever seen before. she impressed him so much, but then she falls and he realizes that she has a limit. someone he admires and wants to fight, actually has a limit.

it’s similar to his shock when All Might’s true form is revealed for the first time.

and after it’s over, Bakugou actually confronts Izuku about Uraraka. he berates Izuku for giving Uraraka that dangerous, self-destructive plan. in other words: in a very backhanded way, he’s saying he cares for Uraraka’s safety and well being.

he’s reprimanding Izuku for giving her a dangerous plan. Bakugou knows Izuku has a notebook full of notes on heroes and the other kids. Izuku mentioned it to Bakugou in their first fight. it would be a no-brainer to figure out that Izuku must’ve come up with a plan for Uraraka. and Bakugou is right, Izuku was willing to let Uraraka use his notes.

except that Uraraka refused to use them.

Izuku tells Bakugou point-blank that all that Uraraka did on the battlefield was her own plan. he had nothing to do with it. It was all Uraraka.

when Kaminari starts nagging on Bakugou for hurting a “harmless little girl” like Uraraka, Bakugou mutters to himself that there isn’t anything fragile about her. 

this is the first time Bakugou has ever actually praised or defended anyone. he’s always been very much about himself. in the beginning of the manga, he would go on and on and on about how great he was, and how everyone else (in his own class) were all losers, and this attitude is still fairly prevalent. 

he couldn’t even be bothered to remember his own classmate’s quirks. he’s gotten better about being egotistic since his fight with Izuku (and from watching everyone else in the class–he even admits that he didn’t think he could beat Todoroki at one point), but only just.

but he remembered her name. he defended her against Kaminari’s words. he respected her as an equal and as an opponent. later on, during his fight with Todoroki, he even berates Todoroki for holding back against him, and the manga hovers over Uraraka for a second.

Bakugou says only those who try their damnedest to win are allowed to stand before him. he’s referring back to Uraraka. again, in a roundabout sort of way, he’s showing her a lot of respect and praise.

coming from someone like Bakugou, who’s had so many issues with self confidence, ego, and refusing to even acknowledge those around him, that is a lot.

this fight was amazing for both characters, because it gave them BOTH amazing character development. this fight showed just how far Uraraka was willing to go, just how strong her determination is, in fulfilling her goal. this fight was also the first time we’ve see Bakugou develop away from the ‘angry-rival.’ this is the first time we saw him compliment and respect someone else.

this fight is the catalyst for so many amazing things, and the development doesn’t stop there.

after the Sports Festival, when the kids are trying to figure out where they want to intern, Uraraka decides to go with Gunhead. largely because of her fight with Bakugou.

she realized that, while she wants to be a disaster relief hero, knowing how to fight in close combat is an invaluable skill that she should learn, and it’ll be a huge advantage to her. it was thanks to her fight with Bakugou that helped her come to this conclusion, and allowed her to improve herself more.

and to move on a bit, lets look at the Omake chapter [which you can find a translation for here]

oh man. this omake. THIS OMAKE.

Uraraka isn’t afraid of Bakugou anymore. not since their fight, in fact. she’s confident enough around him to willing to confront him face-to-face, about his issues with Izuku.

she sees through his act. she says that Bakugou was so cool during their fight, but when it comes to Izuku, Bakugou tries to push him away, as if he’s scared. and he is. he’s scared of Izuku’s progress. it terrifies him. but he’s in denial about it.

Uraraka confronts him about this, sees right fucking through Bakugou’s denial, fear, and pride, and tells him straight up that she thinks he should try to be friends with Izuku again. no other character has done this before. only Uraraka has been able to see through Bakugou so clearly.

Bakugou, presented with this tho, of course yells, goes into fighting stance, and challenges her to a fight (which she responds to immediately with her own battle cry and fighting stance, lmao). and then after Midnight makes them sit down again, Bakugou is back in denial.

however, he keeps calling her by her name. he’s calling her ‘Useless Uraraka’ in his head, but he’s still calling her by her name, which just continues to show his own respect for her, even as he’s pissed and angry.

this omake is fantastic because it gives us a hint into the characters and their relationships. Uraraka has clearly notices the issues between Izuku and Bakugou, and tried to mend them in her own way. Izuku is her friend, and Bakugou respected her as an equal in their fight, and she wants them to be friends again. and she even notices that Bakugou fears Izuku on some level, which is a fantastic bit of introspection from her end.

and later on, she continues to show that she understands Bakugou well. in fact, she’s one of the few people who understands him the best.

she says right here that Bakugou would probably view being rescued as a disgrace. and considering the last time he got rescued, she’s right. the only reason the rescue mission worked out in the end is because Kirishima was there.

with Kacchako, there’s just so much room for development. even now, each characters have been pushed further into growing thanks to each other’s actions, and they’ve both shown a remarkable amount of respect and understanding towards each other. 

there’s just so much self growth and positivity that could be had with this ship, and i would love to see more of these two interact in canon. if i had to choose a ship that i’d love to see in canon, it would definitely be this, because i think there’s a lot of opportunities for development and growth and for new and interesting places for the narrative to go.

particularly concerning Izuku. Uraraka saw through Bakugou and realized that he fears Izuku. i would love to see her try to become the common ground between them. she, along with Kirishima, could be the bridges that allow those two to mend their relationship in the long run.

again, there’s just so much potential for this ship, both for the characters, their growth, and the narrative.

AHH ANYWAY THIS GOT REALLY LONG BUT i hope that all makes sense!!!

related posts: [a meta about the omake] [a meta about Bakugou and Uraraka’s fight]

Punk (Chap. 12)

Summary: You’re head over heels for your best friend Bucky and hate the nickname he gave you as it doesn’t exactly scream romance.

Word count: 3923

Warnings: language, talk about injuries, sarcasm (sometimes jokes are okay)

A/N:  Thank you all for the amazing feedback and support on the last chapter.  I’m completely blown away and ecstatic that you like the story.  I hope you like this next part, it’s a little drawn out but I had some angst I needed to get out.  Feedback is always appreciated.  Thank you again for your patience between updates.  



Apparently Natasha didn’t actually want you to answer that question.  She was ranting and raving, throwing her hands in the air, pointing a polished, accusatory finger in your direction.  She switched from English to Russian so quickly that it seemed as is if she were a one-woman show playing all the parts.  You couldn’t get a word in edgewise though.  Every time you opened your mouth to reply she merely answered herself or spoke right over you with a barrage of “what were you thinkings” “you could have dieds” “I’ve never seen anything do stupid in my entire lifes” “what the hell is wrong with yous” and what you suspected were several rude and explicit Russian insults.

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A Lesson in Love (A Fresh Start)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,541

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - thank you for spending close to a month listening to me complain about this part, helping me finally get it written, and editing it for me.

Originally posted by natashamaximova

“It happened!” Wanda yells, rushing into the apartment and slamming the door shut behind her. She floats all the way to the couch, picks up a pillow, and hugs it close to her chest. “It finally happened.”

Forgetting all about the milk you were warming up in the microwave, you rush to your roommate’s side. Her cheeks are tinged a light pink color that has nothing to do with the cold. “Viz asked you out?”

Vision, known to your friends as Viz, is a foreign exchange student that Wanda has been crushing on since he asked her for directions last semester. There’s no way to compute the amount of hours you’ve spent analyzing his actions with her and trying to determine whether or not he reciprocated her feelings.

“He asked me out,” she squeals, hiding her face in the pillow and kicking her feet out in front of her. Her enthusiasm level makes you laugh; not at her, but with her. She’s been dreaming about this moment for months and you’re glad that it finally happened. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s Wanda.

That’s why you keep a tight hold on the resentment that’s attempting to consume you as you realize that Wanda has what you don’t: a date with a guy she really likes. You wish you didn’t feel this way, but the wound created by Bucky’s words last night is still raw and very much at the forefront of your mind.

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A quick Clexa AU fic list as requested by anon

This is rather chaotic as I’ve put it together real quick and I’ve plenty favorites - I might add more as I remember or as I go through my reading (some are finished, some are on-going). For now though …

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1,050!
  1. We are hounds of God.
  2. He slammed on the breaks, his hand slamming across her chest to keep her from smashing forward
  3. This is Marcos, that’s Leo. Don’t trust anybody else in this place, and if you need something from outside, ask them.
  4. Turn your body when you punch, gives it more power.
  5. My apartment isn’t a storage facility, y’know…
  6. His idea of helping is to give you a passport and plane ticket, and tell you to stop bothering him
  7. You think so little of yourself  
  8. I don’t do secrets if they don’t benefit me anyway
  9. “What…? Are you going to jump?”
    “That’s the plan.”
  10. That’s the most sexual handshake I’ve ever seen
  11. You better watch that hand, boy.
  12. “It’s her own fault that she didn’t do anything of herself!”
    “No, it’s not her fault!”
  13. You have no idea how much you put her back.
  14. “I’m thinking of taking my old job back…”
    “Robbing people?”
    “What? No, man…”
  15. God, she’s gonna murder Chloe if she opens her mouth one more time to say something stupid
  16. I don’t care what you did, you understand? It’s not my business in anyway.
  17. Have you worked a day in your life?
  18. “No… Oh my God, tell me you didn’t…”
    “He won’t report it. The man has more warrants than I have family left.”
  19. Get a haircut you little monster.
  20. “Where you going?”
    “I have work. Meet me in library at 2?”
  21. “Are you gonna drink the whole bottle?”
    “Lost the cork, what else I’m supposed to do?”
  22. I had to threaten to kill over half of them for them to come here, but hey, nobody needs to know that
  23. “I’m sorry.”
    “No need to be, sweetheart. Are you still cold?”
  24. Their leader didn’t give much change to mistakes
  25. “Why do you say it like your pain doesn’t matter?”
    “Because at end of the day, somebody has suffered more than me.”
  26. “Are you drunk?”
    “Hardly ever.”
  27. “Why’s Marcus walking like that?”
    “He tried to do a cannonball to inch of snow.”
  28. I don’t know why I’m eating, I’m not even hungry
  29. Are you supposed to bring a present to a funeral?
  30. “How did you started working for Harry?”
    “I ran over him and he offered me a job. Easy.”
  31. Can you blow the candles next time you leave the room?
  32. Why does your voice sound like gravel?
  33. Would such a man pistol whip an eleven-year-old?
  34. You’re not even supposed to drink caffeine.
  35. Were you gonna stab me with a spoon?!
  36. This is wicked magic. It’ll bite your ass faster than you can ever imagine
  37. Is putting me behind bars not enough? You had chain me to a wall too?
  38. Keep him screaming, Nik. I want someone to call the cops
  39. The one time I need it to rain in Portland it doesn’t
  40. I wish to speak with you, my darling.
  41. “You’re gonna die alone!”
    “Everybody dies alone, you fool”
  42. why’s the woman yelling outside
  43. “Is this legal evidence?”
    “You and I have different meaning of legal, counselor”
  44. Did you manage to punch him before he got arrested?
  45. Let’s pretend we didn’t just break about sixteen laws in five seconds
  46. Any change that you can
  47. Oh shit, he’s a big fella, call Emma. I don’t wanna fight him.
  48. You want your kid back? Better confess to murder of that little girl or soon your son goes to fight a big men’s war in Uganda
  49. “Why are you sleeping on the back of the ambulance?”
    “Didn’t find any other place.”
  50. “What did you give to him?”
    “A illegal horse tranquilizer from China. Knocks you out in five minutes. I don’t know how he’s even standing anymore.”
  51. Hey fucker, my porch lights are not on! Fuck off!
  52. You managed to find a only gun store that doesn’t have Chicago’s 78 hour wait?
  53. “It’s not that easy”
    “Well it’s not that complicated either”
  54. I just inhaled chocolate cake. This is the best way to die
  55. I have to wear two sports bras to even think about exercising
  56. Where do you think I do at 2am? Taco bell, bitch
  57. I may not know your name but this won’t be your dying day
  58. The lady of modern day Edinburg pierced the knife through her heart and hoped the spell had worked
  59. That stupid grin on his face is almost enough of a reason to hit him
  60. “I read the police report, you know.”
    “Then you know what happened. So why are you bothering to talk to me?”
  61. Why aren’t they finding anything?
  62. God why the hell I’m so hungry? I haven’t done anything…
  63. “She has about four hours of air left.”
    “Who do you know?”
  64. “Why’s she’s screaming?”
    “Some kind of ritual. I think she’s a witch.”
  65. I got a headache for acting like I actually cared about his options
  66. “Why are you on my couch?”
    “I’m trying to come up with a plan to get your brother out of the trouble with Chinese mafia.”
    “Oh… Well you’re welcome to stay if you like.”
  67. I’ll call him. Let’s hope that he’s still in Barranquilla… And not in a ditch with cocaine blocking his nose.
  68. “He’s still looking for you.”
    “What does that mean? Are you in trouble?”
  69. “There’s dinner in the freezer.”
    “Ice cream is not dinner. But thanks.”
  70. Yes, I will break it, don’t let me touch it
  71. What was I supposed to think, you left giggling out of the room!
  72. I didn’t think I could fuck up so badly. I’m honestly quite amazed of myself.
  73. Don’t make the lie more complicated.
  74. “She had enough evidence to put him to jail for the rest of his life.”
    “Why didn’t she?”
    “I think part of her still believed in family that time.”
  75. I don’t wanna start begging, but I swear to God I will.
  76. How long have you waited to do that?
  77. Happy’s missing three teeth, Kevin has had his face purple for the past two weeks, and Rigg probably has lost half of his intelligence just hanging out with you guys!
  78. You can stop avoiding me, alright? I know what happened, so call me.
  79. I don’t know what your father taught you, but mine taught me how to take a beating.
  80. “You just let her walk out of the front door?!”
    “We didn’t know it was her!”
    “How the hell you didn’t know that! Her face is plastered all over the news!”
  81. “God, I don’t want to talk to you right now”
    “Well you have to. Does your shoulder hurt?”
  82. ”What the hell happened?! I though you promised not to lay a hand on him, no matter what he does!”
    ”Oh shut up. He started waving a knife around, I just made sure he didn’t poke his eye out.”
  83. I don’t know how she’s even moving after that.
  84. Don’t let me slam her face in, because I swear to God I will do it if she keeps talking
  85. “You want my jacket?”
    “This smells like weed, dude.”
    “It’s not my jacket so don’t blame me.”
  86. “Is this stolen?”
    “You want to see a receipt?”
  87. “What… Why are you checking your pulse?”
    “I just wanna make sure that I’m still alive.”
  88. I thought this was supposed to be one of those easy jobs!
  89. Don’t make it obvious that you’re an asshole, put your shirt on.
  90. You put on hell of a fight, I hope you know that.
  91. Do I get a list of rules when I go there or do I just have to be on my good side?
  92. They don’t look so happy… You think we should apologize?
  93. I don’t think you should eat something that has been in your apartment as long as that has.
  94. “Show me,” he whispered, starting to pull down the zipper of her hoodie. “It’s just a bruise…” She tried to push his hand away, but she was backed against the corner and the painkillers had stopped working, so even breathing was painful.
  95. You’re still replying my texts so it can’t be that bad
  96. “You’ve never been a man with few words.”
    “I only need few perfect words.”
    “And what are those?”
    “Marry me.”
  97. Looks like you’ve started finally to listen to me.
  98. I can feel the hair on my ass standing up
  99. I know all your dirty tricks… I know every step before you even take them
    .
    He’s my brother. I’ll always take his side before anybody else’s.
  100. When you decide to come in, there’s pepperoni pizza in the oven
  101. He seems to like avoiding you.
  102. It doesn’t matter how hurt she is, she’ll try to get up and fight. It’s her nature.
  103. I would have come to the wedding but the nurses threated to tie me down to the bed if I even try to rip off the tubes and stuff… but you know, congratulations.
  104. “Now you’re just being mean.”
    “I think the word you’re supposed to use is… a tease.”
  105. Are we just going ignore that the maniac just drank the whole bottle?
  106. She definitely has the balls to do it, no question about it
  107. I got concussion from a door. I ended up at ER, explaining that the door viciously slammed against my face, sounds great doesn’t it
  108. “How did you get mom here?”
    “I gave her two hundred bucks to stay the whole thing.”
    “What?!”
  109. If she starts to poke my chest again, I’ll walk out and leave you there to be tortured
  110. She grew up on lies. Either it was from her mother’s mouth or from the man who she always thought was her father.
  111. “Who long have we known each other?”
    “About fifteen years. Give or take. But that doesn’t mean I trust you.”
  112. Can you pull my shoulder back in?
  113. He’s going to kill you. He’s so going to kill for doing that to her.
  114. You used to be so much better at lying.
  115. Stay down! Don’t get up!
  116. “Do you believe in love with first sight?”
    “I don’t believe in love.”
  117. She had warned him and after he started pounding on Jon the third time, she didn’t think twice for making him bleed.
  118. Touch my brother and I’ll make sure that you won’t be able to move you hands an inch afterwards
  119. I know my limits. I know how much pain I can take before I pass out or can’t move. I know my body.
  120. “Nice underwear,” he pointed out with a smirk, expecting Alex to start pulling her shirt to cover herself, but she surprised him by pulling the top over her head. “Oh wow.”
  121. Are you asking for a permission? Because if so… I might just give you one.
  122. “People might just start to think you’re obsessed with me.”
    “Are expectin’ me to deny it?”
    “I might just have to start calling you my stalker then…”
  123. Prove me wrong then! Prove me that I can trust you, that you won’t fuck me over the second I drop my guard!
  124. “Can you stop sleeping in my bathtub?”
    “Why? Is so much better than the bed you made me sleep.”
  125. Do I need to tell you everything I love about you?
  126. Are you a predator or the prey?
  127. My mom found your bra in my freezer, why the fuck?
  128. I don’t remember if I ate today so… wanna go grab Thai or something?
  129. I told it was faster this way.
  130. I’m not great at driving when someone is trying to kill me!
  131. I’m gonna borrow your suitcase, mate! Your clothes are under the bed if you need them!
  132. This is not a taco. This is just disgusting.
  133. He pointed at me with a tattooed finger. “I’ll call you.” And then he was gone.
  134. “I thought you’d never drop down your guard.”
    “Consider yourself special.”
  135. You’re younger than me and you’re rocking in your rocking chair like old man
  136. “I don’t want fancy dinners or restaurants!”
    “Great, I’ll take you to the fanciest bar I’ve ever been in.”
  137. What was I supposed to do, huh? He punched me first, Bret!
  138. You’ll break your neck eventually by doing that
  139. You were literally falling while you were sleeping
  140. You used to have a longer hair than me, Phil!
  141. You look surprisingly angry while chewing gum
  142. We’re going to try push them back a bit, get Ricky to the truck!
  143. I think I might just kidnap you if you don’t get next week off.
  144. Fucking pew pew motherfucker
  145. My temper tends to land me in trouble more than often.
  146. You wanna know why she did it?
  147. She thought that maybe her nightmares would stop.
  148. You need to tell him. He deserves to know.
  149. “Brock? Where the hell are you going?”
    “Who the fuck does he think he is?!
  150. I learned at very young age that being quiet kept you alive
  151. I’m not that good with people who only disrespect me, I’m sure you understand.
  152. Of course I’m scared
  153. Her body was covered in mostly small scars and burns. The price of stupidity, her nana said. She didn’t care that much, the biggest burns on her back were mostly covered by tattoos, just like the whip scars on her abdomen and upper back.
  154. They should never put the crazy ones in the same room
  155. One thing he would never do was to stay down when somebody said so
  156. The look in his eyes was something raw and too familiar. She saw herself in him, and she hated that more than anything.
  157. They had been lucky that cops hadn’t looked in the back alley when they came to break up the bar fight. They would have had an easy arrest, the four who had started the whole fight inside were slumped in line against the brick wall of the next building.
  158. Kneeling before her were the men that didn’t believe in Gods. Her army.
  159. Just because his back is turned doesn’t mean he can’t hear you.
  160. This world is filled with more terrifying things than death
  161. You are meaningless. We all are. It’s our to change that.
  162. Don’t rely on happy endings
  163. It has been rumored for weeks.
  164. She’s a veteran in this business, she knows how to play.
  165. You’ve a have a gimmick of being a lost cause.
  166. I’d appreciate if you apologized in person
  167. Men starts wars, women end them. That’s just a fact.
  168. Every damn time I talk to you, I’m more convinced that you’re an actual alien
  169. You are just hurting yourself by doing that.
  170. Didn’t you two had enough already!?
  171. “She refused the help of the medics -”
    “And you just let her?!”
    “I didn’t think she could slip out, she couldn’t even walk by herself!”
  172. She hoisted her brother to his feet again, “You need to stop picking fights with them.”
  173. Goddammit, don’t just leave him laying there!
  174. So… this is how she spends her Fridays. Collecting debts for a mob. Nice.
  175. She decided that throwing a toaster at me was the best defense
  176. I mean she slapped him hard enough to break skin
  177. Keith! Stop shooting people in the living room!
  178. “What if I press the big red button? Will I start a war?”
    “That’d flush the toilet.”
  179. Don’t get him all fired up. I’m gonna be the one who has to calm him down afterwards
  180. You have two jobs in this family. To watch that Iain doesn’t do anything that lands him back to prison and that Shawn doesn’t disappear again.
  181. How did we ended up like this? Two against an army of thousands
  182. “Are you a coward?”
    “I’m a survivor.”
  183. Why are drinking milk out of my shot glasses?
  184. “Why is my boyfriend covered in blood?”
    “Why are you not asking him?”
    “Because he’s a lying asshole.”
  185. He cracked his gloved knuckles before knocking on her door
  186. God… stop with the undying love bullshit. Maybe there is some sort of love but nothing lost forever.
  187. “Do you even remember his name?”
    “I know it started with M, I think.”
  188. “I know you ain’t listening anything,” Johnny sat in front of her, tugging her other earbud off.
  189. With cigarette clenched between her lips, she wiped the coffee off her fingers to her ripped jeans
  190. “I don’t take no for answer, so…?”
    “That makes you sound like an asshole, you know that right?”
  191. He couldn’t help but to look at her through the mirror, she was trying her best to wipe off the eyeliner and mascara smeared on her face, she was a mess. But this woman was his mess.
  192. I don’t think it’s wise to look directly to their eyes
  193. Let’s play a game of stupid and a moron
  194. She laid on the hot concrete, blood dripping down her cheeks. Her temper had gotten her into a fight, was that a surprise in anyway?
  195. How far are you willing to go to convince that you’re alright?
  196. I don’t have a bra on, please don’t make me run.
  197. Can you stop smiling when people hurt you? It makes you look like a crazy maniac
  198. Allan lifted Sam with ease up to the table, tangling his fingers in her hair. “You are more stupid than I thought,” he whispered, running both of his hands through her hair.
  199. They watched the man carefully, like he was a time bomb ready to explode
  200. Wake up, kid. I need you to wake up, I can’t carry you if you don’t.
  201. She picked up a man twice her side. That’s power
  202. Didn’t anybody teach you not to taunt a trained MMA fighter
  203. “Your father wouldn’t want this.”
    “He probably doesn’t wanna be death either, so does it really it matter what he would have wanted from me?”
  204. “Are you lying?”
    “Through my teeth.”
  205. You wanna do this here or do we go somewhere were your friends can’t see me murder you?
  206. I’m not sure why you seemingly needed to share your weaknesses to me, but God… You made a huge mistake.
  207. I’m sure that this will backfire on me, but let’s pretend that we don’t know that already
  208. How the hell are you so pale? You live in Florida!
  209. I don’t think they should be here. They just manage to get into trouble.
  210. God that sounded better when I was rehearsing it.
  211. She wanted to forget the shit of a life she had
  212. Would it be such an immensely horrible thing if I just accidentally hit him?
  213. Past is supposed to stay in the past, especially her past.
  214. Just keep him angry. Please do that to me, I want to see him finally explode.
  215. “Pendejo!” Rosa shouted, slamming her hand flat against the table. “You have some serious problems!”
  216. Right information is very important in this line of work, son.
  217. “Fuuuck! We’re so damn late from his bullshit party!”
    “Oh shut up, we are only fashionable late.”
  218. Put your seat belt on. No? I ain’t driving anywhere before you do.
  219. Why the fuck did you bring your kid? I’m not babysitting!
  220. I think my hair is dying
  221. “Where are you?”
    “South of Houston, why?”
    “John left me to fucking Taco Bell, I need a ride.”
  222. My ass has feelings!
  223. If I found drugs on your brother’s room, can I keep it?
  224. Who the fuck put soy in my coffee?!
  225. That is the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever seen.
  226. “I’ve have a vivid imagination.” He purred in her ear.
    “Then you can survive few more days…” she whispered back, pushing him away.
  227. Shit, she’s quicker than I thought…
  228. Cut her loose, her hands are turning gray
  229. You keep avoiding the subject. It a simple question, and I just need an answer.
  230. Ricky had lost his legs in Iraq, but still every time the national anthem came on, he propped himself up a inch or two.
  231. I know you have a high tolerance of pain, but this is ridiculous!
  232. That woman is as crazy as they come.
  233. He hadn’t expected for Mia to lunge forward, every intention to break Seth’s arms. Joe managed to step between them before her fist would bash against the younger man’s face, he had to pick her up from the ground as she almost hit him to face. V
  234. “You can’t handle me,” she purred, her fingers sliding to inside his jacket pocket, with intentions to grab his wallet. Hank was only smiling, grabbing her by the wrist, “Maybe I don’t want to.”
  235. Vinny had told many lies in his life, and only about two out of every fifteen had some truth in them.
  236. She hadn’t even realized she was angry before Tyler wrapped his hand around her lower back, leaning down to ask if she was alright.
  237. Is he old enough to play paintball? Or maybe laser tag?
  238. Alan watched as she wiped the sweat off her face, eyeshadow and eyeliner wiping down to her cheeks. “You enjoy staring at me?”
  239. I don’t think I did anything wrong
  240. He hadn’t seen her smile in the two weeks he had been here, but now that she did, it was one of the prettiest things that he had seen.
  241. Wes had curled himself in the smallest ball that the 6 feet 5 man could
  242. “You’re naked.”
    “Good eye, darling.”
  243. He looked great in the tailored Dolce and Gabbana suit, shame that he would have to die in it
  244. Sometimes the worst decisions lead to best outcomes
  245. ”What counts as medical emergency?”
    “Your whole body is a medical emergency!”
  246. What were you expecting? She’s a kleptomaniac
  247. You can cut off her arms and legs, but she won’t stop.
  248. She had found a perfect place between the top of the lockers and the ceiling, it was great place to sleep.
  249. I think we might just be alright..
  250. She might just be your worst nightmare
  251. Sascha gave a grimacing smile before clearing his throat. “We will consider your offer.”
  252. She circled her hand over the small back of the eight-month old, whose face had turned bright shade of red from endless crying. “Kiddo…”
  253. “Were you trying to break his back?”
    “To be honest I was trying to get him off my ass.”
  254. Sid plucked the cigarette from Colby’s lips, dropping it to the half-full wineglass. “Keep taunting me…” she leaned down to whisper in his ear from behind, “And I’ll make sure that your tongue is cut off.”
  255. Bastian lived on the edge. Quite literally. He lived in rusty van on edge of a cliff, maybe hoping that someday the car would drop to the rocks and he would be inside
  256. Thank God for waterproof makeup….
  257. This is for everybody who never supported me. Because I didn’t need you in the end.
  258. She didn’t want to cry. It wasn’t any more about not wanting show weakness or pride. She just didn’t want to be sad anymore

Big shout out to @ofpoemsandprompts!​

Carousel | 05

Character: Min Yoongi x reader (oc)

Genre/words: Angst, Implied smut, Arranged Marriage! AU / 10,288 words

Summary: He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family’s future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out. Everything might seem so simple, just the way they are supposed to. But everything isn’t always what it seems, is it?

Playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

Cr.


Keep reading

Mofftiss Explain

“It’s the gayest story on the history of television.”

“We all certainly saw it as a love story.”

“They are absolutely made for each other.”

“I think it’s important that kids watching television see themselves on screen.”

“To hell with deferred pleasure.”

“I don’t know. I’m just in it.”

“It’s groundbreaking.”

“If we pull this off, it’ll be television history!”

“Insane wish fulfillment.”

“Culmination of everything we’ve been working for.”

“Shattering climax.”

“Love conquers all.”

“The real version airs tonight.”

 ———————————————————————————————————-

“What do you think, then, Doctor Watson? There’s another bedroom upstairs if you’ll be needing two bedrooms.”

“Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?”

“Anything on the menu, whatever you want, free. On the house, for you and for your date.”

“Girlfriend? No, not really my area.”

“So you’ve got a boyfriend then?”

“Right. Okay. You’re unattached. Like me. Fine. Good.”

“Actually, I’ve, er, got a date.”

“That’s what I was suggesting.”

“Sherlock’s business seems to be booming since you and he became … pals.”

“He’s not gay. Why d’you have to spoil …? He’s not.”

“With that level of personal grooming?”

“Because he puts a bit of product in his hair? I put product in my hair.”

“If you don’t stop prying, I’ll burn you. I’ll burn the heart out of you.”

“I have been reliably informed that I don’t have one.”

“We both know that’s not quite true.”

“You, ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk.”

“Somebody loves you.”

“I don’t think John knows where to look.”

“No, I think he knows exactly where. I’m not sure about you.”

“Are you jealous?”

“We’re not a couple.”

“Yes you are.”

“I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me but the chemistry is incredibly simple, and very destructive.”

“Listen, what I said before, John. I meant it. I don’t have friends. I’ve just got one.”

“I know you’re for real.”

“Your friends will die if you don’t.”

“John.”

“There’s stuff that you wanted to say … but didn’t say it.”

“Say it now.”

“No. Sorry. I can’t.”

“Yeah. We’re getting married … well, I’m gonna ask, anyway.”

“So soon after Sherlock?”

“Well, yes.”

“What’s his name?”

“It’s a woman.”

“A woman?!”

“Yes, of course it’s a woman.”

“You really have moved on, haven’t you?”

“One Word, Sherlock. That is all I would have needed. One word to let me know that you were alive.”

“Why indeed, John?”

“I prefer my doctors clean-shaven.”

“Yeah, well, be careful what you wish for. If I hadn’t come back, you wouldn’t be standing there and … you’d still have a future … with Mary.”

“She was probably right, really. I remember she left early. I mean, who leaves a wedding early? So sad.”

“No, it is! It is, and I want to be up there with the two people that I love and care about most in the world.”

“Neither of us were the first, you know.”

“So know this: today you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved – in short, the two people who love you most in all this world.”

“Oscillation on the pavement always means there’s a love affair.”

“And of course I have to mention the elephant in the room.”

“Why would he be scared that we’re getting married?”

“No! No! Not you! Not you! You. It’s always you. John Watson, you keep me right.”

“Mr Holmes, you and I are similar, I think.”

“Yes, I think we are.”

“There’s a proper time to die, isn’t there?”

“Of course there is.”

“And one should embrace it when it comes – like a soldier.”

“Of course one should, but not at John’s wedding. We wouldn’t do that, would we – you and me? We would never do that to John Watson.”

“John Watson is definitely in danger.”

“I know what kind of man you are … but we could have been friends.”

“Because you chose her.”

“Th-the clients – that’s all you are now, Mary. You’re a client. This is where you sit and talk … and this is where we sit and listen, then we decide if we want you or not.”

“But look how you care about John Watson. Your damsel in distress.”

“And Sherlock’s pressure point is his best friend, John Watson.”

“John, there’s something … I should say; I-I’ve meant to say always and then never have. Since it’s unlikely we’ll ever meet again, I might as well say it now.”

“We’re not naming our daughter after you.”

“I think it could work.”

“Mrs Hudson, there is a woman in my sitting room! Is it intentional?”

“You have an impish sense of humour which currently you’re deploying to ease a degree of personal anguish. You have recently married a man of a seemingly kindly disposition who has now abandoned you for an unsavoury companion of dubious morals.”

“Holmes, against absolutely no opposition whatsoever, I am your closest friend.”

“Why do you need to be alone?”

“No, those are my words, not yours! That is the version of you that I present to the public: the brain without a heart; the calculating machine. I write all of that, Holmes, and the readers lap it up, but I do not believe it. … You are a living, breathing man. You’ve lived a life; you have a past. … Damn it, Holmes, you are flesh and blood. You have feelings. You have … you must have … impulses.”

“There’s always two of us.”

“Urgh. Why don’t you two just elope, for God’s sake?”

“Perhaps I was being a little fanciful … but perhaps such things could come to pass. In any case, I know I would be very much at home in such a world. … I beg to differ. But then I’ve always known I was a man out of his time.”

“Romantic entanglement would complete you as a human being.”

“The man we both love.”

“I wanted more. I still do.”

———————————————————————————————————–

The Aftermath: Bucky (ALiL Deleted Scene)

Summary: (College!AU): In which Bucky reacts to finding out how you feel about him.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3,740

A/N: I couldn’t write the next part of this series without giving you at least one scene from Bucky’s perspective. I’ve been excited to write this since I posted the original “The Aftermath”. 

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - thank you for editing this on your phone, you’re the real hero today

Originally posted by kingsebastian

Forty Minutes Later

Bucky clutches his chest, trying to remove a dagger that isn’t really there. It feels like it is though. The look on your face before he left your apartment put it there.

It had to be done.

It had to be done.

No matter how many times he has repeated those words, his makeshift mantra, they don’t make him feel any better. How could they when he just did the one thing he never wanted to do? He broke your heart.

Keep reading

The 4th Episode: A Complete Johnlock Fix-It

The screen is black.  A woman’s voice cuts through.  It’s Molly’s voice.

“Forward? Or Backward?”

A blinding white light floods the darkness.  A pulsating heartbeat. 

“Backward,” sighs Sherlock.

White noise stings as scenes are replayed backward. Sherlock and John running backward.  John’s fist recoiling from Sherlock in the morgue.  The christening, backward. The birth, backward.  The plane glides into the air, tail first. Magnussen’s limp body jolts into standing position, Sherlock puts the gun back in John’s pocket. The flashdrive jumps from the fire, into John’s hand.  The gun drops, the coin falls back into Mary’s fingers. Sherlock raises from Magnussen’s floor, the blood-stained shirt turns freshly white. Mary stands across from Sherlock, gun drawn.

Roll Title Credits.

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Modern Amis (and co.) Coming-Out Headcanons

(I don’t even remember how the subject came up but @beatlemaniacinthetardis and I were taking about the Amis getting together at someone’s house and telling each other stories from when they came out of the closet. We stayed up way too late last night coming up with these so we felt the need to share) 

Bahorel comes out to his family when he goes downstairs in the rainbowest of rainbow shirts, announces that he’s going to Pride, and just sort of stares at each of them until they understand.

Courfeyrac realizes he’s gay in his preteen years and it takes him like a year to work up the courage to come out to his friends (Enjolras and Combeferre) and family (mom and dad). When he tells them they all just go “sweetie, we know”. Enjolras and Combeferre bake him a confetti cake that says CONGRATS in edible glitter. Courfeyrac cries. 

Feuilly doesn’t really have anyone to come out to, since he has no living relations and he went straight into a job at a young age. He kind of…forgets to, to be honest, so he’s not out to his co-workers. They only find out when Bahorel comes to get him from work one day and he kisses Feuilly hello.  

Like in canon, Cosette grows up into a pretty girl who loves attention. She’s very meticulous about the way she looks and is like nice when she notices guys checking her out. One day, though, a pretty girl smiles at her and does the checking-out thing and Cosette is like oh no when she feels her heart do the THING. She tells papa later that evening, and he’s amazing and supportive because, well, he’s Jean Valjean. He joins her marching in the Pride parade the following summer. 

Enjolras’ coming out doesn’t go so well. He’s pretty much known he likes boys since forever ago, but only tells his parents at the end of high school. His parents are cold and arrange a Nice Girl for him to marry at the age of 25 or whatever. Enjolras fights with them on it, but when they continue to stand firm he decides they don’t deserve to be in his life anyway. He moves in with Combeferre, who he came out to years ago.

Joly and Bossuet, who have basically known each other since birth, come out to each other before anyone else. They then make a pact to come out to their friends and family on the same day. Bossuet’s parents don’t take it so well–his dad is pissed, and his mom tries to push him to go back to church. His friends, too, say “yeah that’s cool” but he can tell every time he says something that even approaches the subject of his sexuality that they’re weird about it. Joly’s, on the other hand, went well. His friends start teasing him like “yeah man I bet you thought you had appendicitis the first time you saw a guy you liked” and stuff, but they’re cool with it. Joly’s family ends up pretty much adopting Bossuet, too. Bossuet’s parents come knocking for him one day and Joly’s four younger siblings work together to slam the door in their face. (Bonus: since those two have a hivemind, they tell each other about being poly the same day.)

The subject of their combined affections, Musichetta, was a total badass about her coming out. She told her parents straight up that she was poly/pan. They were not sold on the idea, but she told them to accept her as she was or she’d leave without a second thought. It takes them a while to get used to the idea, but Chetta answers whatever questions they have. They grow to understand her, and come to love Joly and Bossuet once the three of them start dating.

Jehan has a hard time with it all. They WANT to come out, to family and friends alike, but they want to understand themselves before they try and explain it to anyone else. They tell this to the Amis who are all just like…you don’t have to ever figure it out. It’s alright. No matter who you are or what you do or who you love, we’ll be here to support you. Jehan cries really hard because they’ve been so confused for so long and their found family is saying that it’s okay to be unsure forever because who needs a title anyway? The greatest of group hugs happens that day, Jehan smiling in the centre of it. (Bonus: shortly after that, Jehan asks the Amis to start saying “they/them”. Grantaire buys a ton of neutral-looking clothes with gross flower print that he knows Jehan will LOVE. Enjolras falls in love with R a lil bit more since he knows he doesn’t have all that much money but he spent a bunch of it for Jehan to be happy and comfortable anyway).

Combeferre comes out to all his friends shortly after he meets them, but he never comes out to his family at all. He knows they’re homophobic, and a) he doesn’t like to start fights, and b) he decides that they don’t deserve to know. In an act of silent rebellion, he secretly gets a part-time job as a sales guy at a boot shop for drag queens. Courfeyrac’s the shop’s #1 customer. (Kinky Boots AU someone back me up here)

While Marius is almost entirely on the straight side, but every so often he’ll meet a man who sets his little Pontmercy heart aflutter. Courf is one of those guys and when they end up roommates Marius kind of…”aksdjasgkdhdh Lord save my poor bisexual soul”. But then he meets Cosette. He doesn’t tell her for ages because he’s terrified of what she’ll think, but eventually he works up the courage. She laughs because hey she’s bi too!! From that point on, they point out attractive people of various genders to each other while they’re on dates. (Bonus: one day, Marius and his grandfather get into an argument about politics over dinner. In a moment of passion, Marius stands and yells “LONG LIVE NAPOLEON! ALSO, I SOMETIMES LIKE BOYS!” His grandfather faints into his chair.)

Eponine never really had friends, so she has no frame of reference for what romantic attraction feels like. When she meets Marius, she figures instantly that what she’s feeling is romantic love. Shortly after, she meets Cosette and feels the same way. Now she’s confused. And then she meets the rest of the Amis and feels the same way about ALL of them. It’s very strange to have a crush on everyone, she thinks. With Grantaire and Jehan’s help, she comes to understand that what she’s feeling is, in fact, platonic love. And god, is she relieved to know. The only family members she tells about being aro/ace are Gavroche and Azelma. Azelma is like “I think that might be me too” and Gav is like “sweet, more lovely ladies for me”.

FINALLY, Grantaire. He’s never really given a shit about what gender his lovers were, and never given a shit about who knows about it. He doesn’t know or care whether or not his parents know. But oh, god, then he meets Enjolras, and can no longer imagine loving anyone else of any gender. When the Amis share their coming out stories, he just snorts and says ‘does it count if you’re only attracted to one person?’ and he accidentally stares at Enj as he says it and the Amis collectively suck in a breath because if they didn’t know who he was talking about before, they certainly do now.  (Bonus: Everyone braces themselves when Enj stands up and goes to R, thinking Enj is going to try and start shit, but they start applauding when instead Enjolras grabs Grantaire’s face and kisses the life out of him). 

The Elsewhere Child

He was supposed to take my memories when he brought me here, the seelie knight, who had been commanded to escort me home with a simple “take it away, it’s too old now and it bores me” from the noble who had kept me for the past while. I traded him my singing voice for them though, and now where once sweet music poured from my lips only hoarse and untuned notes fall out without any of the tempo or melody they had before. Now I think I made a bad trade. It might have been better, if I didn’t remember, or remembered something else entirely.

I stare at the boy next to me in the circle, I was asked to join this circle as a way to make me feel part of something, part of a circle. They call the circle a support group for abducted children. Children who were abducted and got away, that is, I don’t think there’s a support group for those currently abducted. Their abductors wouldn’t allow them to attend, I suppose. The boy is speaking about the man who touched him, speaking of the horrible way he loved that man, because he was a child, and he had to love someone. Are his memories true? Or is he like me? Did a faerie take him away, and replace the memories from Under the Hill with these tragedies? Why? Did he commit some crime? I cannot say.

I am fascinated by the girl who sits next to the girl directly across from me in the circle. She tells us to call her Angie. She wears ratty clothes, not the sort of poor chic that seems to be an underlying trend, with jackets made of patches and ribbed cloth sold at malls, but real grunge. The tears in her sleeves reveal razor scars, her hair is short, she wants to look tough, she wants people to cross the street to get away from her when they see her coming. She is not tough. She is nervous, always nervous, always afraid, though she hides it well. None of these things are too interesting to me, those things I can see anywhere, but I thought context would be important so that the fact that she’s a pathological liar would not be the only thing you knew about her.

She is a pathological liar.

Her lies fascinate me.

After group chat, I take her aside and we talk, sometimes just for a few minutes, sometimes for hours, and I watch her fabricate thousands of untruths, from tiny white ones to huge fantastical ones as bright and colorful as her life has never been. Some days, I believe everything she says and some days I question each word, trying to figure out her secret.

It’s a strange thing, I was taken before I really knew my name, and each faerie that’s kept me (I was a pet for them) called me something different. Do I even have a true name? I’ve been Jane Doe since I showed up, stumbling barefoot and confused into a police station moments after midnight (at least the knight knew to leave me near a place of authority), so I’ve been introducing myself as Roe, like the deer. They ran my DNA through the missing children’s database (I didn’t understand what that was at first, was shocked at how closely humans had approximated magic with computers), but there was no match. I told them I didn’t know how long ago I’d been abducted, and suggested that it might have been before the database was made. They laughed and said I was eighteen, and DNA technology had been around much longer than me. I tried to explain that time was different where I had been kept, but they simply patted me on my head and told me they were sure that it seemed that way to me at the time.

They stared at me worriedly when one of them brought me a McDonald’s Happy Meal, and I asked what she wanted for it. She told me nothing. No one here ever asks for anything besides courtesy in return for their food, but old habits are hard to break. Even now, in my foster home, I cannot help insisting that my hosts confirm that this food is a gift freely given. They asked me to help them cook and I broke down in tears because there was a cast iron skillet on the stove (“Please don’t make me, iron burns, iron burns, and it gets under your skin and makes you go grey and lifeless like a flower severed from its roots, plea-please, please don’t make me”). It took them an hour to convince me that they weren’t trying to force me to poison myself, and the food burned (“I said I would help you, you asked me to cook and I agreed, but, but please don’t make me, it burns, it’ll burn me!” “It’s alright darling, you don’t have to cook if you don’t want to.” “But I said I would! It was an oath!” “We’re sorry, we wouldn’t have asked if we’d known it would upset you, you can help some other way if you like.” “You… absolve me of my oath?” “Yes, of course we do darling!”).

I am more comfortable with iron now, I am not one of the Fair Folk, after all, it will not harm me. Correction, a blade of iron would harm me, but not because it was made of iron. It does, however, mess with my glamor.

It is a difficult thing, growing up bathed in magic and yet to have none of your own. A pixie once spoke of how she envied my hair, and I said, on impulse, “do you want it?” So a trade was made. She gave me the ability to change my appearance, and she walked away with my hair. I expected my hair to grow back after a time though… it did not. With my glamor I can have the appearance of having whatever hair I please, and sometimes I change it daily, but when I sleep or when iron is near my bare head is revealed. It is assumed by my hosts and everyone around me that I have many wigs, I have told them I do not, but they don’t believe in magic, so they insist on believing this instead.

I hide when I hear thunder, duck into a bathroom and put everything on backward and inside out if I’m in public, or simply sit quiet if I’m home. The first time I did this, it shook me to my core when someone told me “You know, your shirt is on backward.” I started to panic, until I realized that I could see myself too. It was a revelation, discovering that there was something humans could see that the Good Neighbors couldn’t.

It still boggles my mind how much people throw away, tears and menstrual blood caught on napkins, or gifts from that one aunt that they held onto for so long for the sentimental value but can’t keep now because they have to move into a smaller apartment, or the shirt they can’t wear anymore because it smells like their ex. They could trade these items to faeries for so many things, and yet they simply throw them away. What a waste.

My hosts insisted I should have a proper education, and after three years of homeschooling (to get me caught up) I applied to attend the local state college. There I found more people who fascinate me the way Angie does. There’s Lisa, who fights for animal rights, and Kyle, the leader of the Gay Straight Alliance group, and Riley, who’s going into the Peace Corps next year because they want to help the world. I ask them all the time why they do what they do, what they expect to get back, and they tell me that ideally they’ll make the world a better place, and that will pay them back eventually, but that they don’t do it for what they’ll get back, they do it because it’s right. I don’t understand. There’s Cheyenne, who always gets into intense political debates with other people over dinner in the cafeteria, and she believes so intensely about things that don’t even affect her, and she fights for them, and she tells me she does this because it’s right, and I don’t understand. I’ve never met anyone who cared about anything other than themselves Under the Hill. Faeries can’t lie, they can’t go back on their word, they honor their deals and make sure you honor them too, they repay debts and ensure they’re repaid in turn, they amuse themselves playing or squabbling over power, but they do not do things for free. They don’t care about things for free. They don’t defend the innocent, protect the weak, or forgive the ignorant. The culture shock coming here is bewildering.

If I could I’d honor my debts, leave a pile of gold at the doorstep of everyone who’s done me a kindness, but I have not the magic to do so. The drainage ponds hold no sirens, the falling snow has no frolicking pixies between its flakes, there is no magic for me to use here… or is there?

Perhaps I can’t call upon the magic Under the Hill, perhaps I can’t summon gold or make deals with darklings, but I can find magic here, I’ve seen others do it. I’ve seen a moon so beautiful it sends shivers down your spine captured by a little lense-box and put onto thick shiny paper. I’ve seen songs and stories written with such emotion that it moves those who hear them to tears, to laughter, to dancing, to life. I’ve seen kitchen witches cure colds with hot chicken soup, and I’ve seen holy men ward off tricksters they can’t even see with the power of their belief.

Perhaps I can find a way to create my own magic, and do what other people seem to strive to do to repay their debts. Perhaps I can make the world a better place, and learn the magic of humanity. And as for the places where magic does live? Where the boundary between worlds is thin and the drainage ponds and snowflakes carry faerie magic within? …I think I’ll be staying far away, for my part. I might still have a lot to learn, but I think I like it better here.

title: five stages of grief

summary: Six years is a lot of time to grieve the loss of the girl who has your heart.

one) denial

When Bellamy wakes up the day After, he doesn’t cry, even though he feels the sadness resting at the hollow of his throat and stinging at his eyes. In his chest, his heart is breaking, and there’s a deep, near-bottomless emptiness, but there’s also hope. The kind that cuts, makes it hard to breathe. She could be out there, he thinks. She could be alive; he hopes, and it is torture. Because she isn’t. He has to accept that. Besides, he thinks bitterly, he has all the time in the world.


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