Dramione AU Headcanon; 21st century + Post Hogwarts
Hermione thinks it would be hilarious if she introduced Draco to ridiculous muggle trends when they move into their apartment in London together.
“Draco, I have a few things to show you.” Hermione bit her lip to refrain from giggling. In her hands was an iPad. Draco looked up from his book, staring strangely at the flat, silver object in Hermione’s hands. He couldn’t comprehend what exactly was this peculiar object was, or what it does. All he gathered was that there was a half-eaten apple engraved at the back of it, with the words “iPad” beneath it. He didn’t know what the hell it was, but it certainly got his attention.
“What the hell is that?” Draco narrowed his eyes at Hermione, who was wearing a sheepish look on her face. She sat down next to Draco and unlocked the iPad, and she could almost see the cogs turning in his brain as he surveyed the tablet with a frown etched on his forehead. “You’ll see.” She smiled impishly, tapping on the Vine app. Draco jumped when a video of a girl saying “We in this bitch, finna get crunk, eyebrows on fleek, dafuq” started playing and replaying. “Granger, what language is that supposed to be?” Hermione burst out laughing when she saw that Draco look genuinely horrified.
“I’m going to introduce you to the strange world of the muggle internet. This is going to be hilarious.” She knew Draco was still adapting to the muggle way of life and was still clueless of what the internet was, but this was an opportunity too good to pass. She spent the whole Sunday afternoon showing Draco vines and videos and memes, whatever was trending on the internet. And to her surprise, Draco even found some of them funny. He laughed especially hard when Hermione showed him a vine of a cat that couldn’t stop sneezing. “I imagined the cat as McGonagall.” Draco said between fits of laughter.
Draco alternated between frowning while shaking his head and laughing heartily, when she showed him Tumblr. He said he liked the textposts best. When she taught him to use muggle slang and abbreviations, he even seemed to find them highly entertaining. She introduced him to muggle music, from mainstream pop music to alternative to EDM. He found pop music annoying and claimed that Harry Styles’ hair looks like a bird’s nest when they were watching a One Direction music video and Hermione knew it was because Draco caught her staring dreamily at the singer. He really liked the alternative genre of music though, and even tried saying “This band’s music is so.. dope.” He also thought that EDM sounded cool, even though he said they gave him headaches.
They fooled around on the iPad until the battery died, and Draco even looked a little disappointed, even though he tried to cover it when he drawled sarcastically, “This is why I prefer magic, I never have to worry about my wand or my broom running out of battery.”
A few days later, when Hermione was out and Draco was home alone, he sneaked into Hermione’s study and took her iPad, determined to find out more about the muggle internet, because he was curious and also (he reluctantly admitted) because he found the internet highly amusing, if not fun.
And this was how Hermione caught him on Tumblr with earphones plugged in, jamming to Afraid by The Neighbourhood when she returned home. Hermione broke into a wide grin at the amusing scene before her. She couldn’t help but think how different Draco was now from when they were still in Hogwarts. The Draco then would never accept, let alone enjoy using a muggle gadget. Her heart warmed when she thought of how their relationship had changed him and his thinking. She was truly grateful for this change. And Draco was grateful that Hermione didn’t laugh at him when he was caught, only pressed a kiss on his cheek and joined him with a smile on her face.
AU: “I live in royalty where you are my bodyguard and I have no idea what I’m doing HELP WHICH FORK IS WHICH"
“Outside in,” his musical voice came singing from behind her as she sat at the table, cutlery laid out beside her. “The smaller, the earlier.”
“And why does that not sound like an eating instruction coming from your mouth,” Emma answered rolling her eyes as she recognized the voice of her personal guard. “Let me guess, there’s nothing small about you?”
“My lady,” Killian mocked offence, coming to stand beside her. “Such things should not come from such a delicate mouth.”
“Why is everything you say laced in innuendo,” Emma groaned in frustration, his proximity not helping manners. It was her first day back at court after spending her entire childhood in the north with Ella and Thomas. It was deemed safer whilst the war was going on, but now, the war was over. And Emma was home.
But of course, her parents had to assign the most annoying of body guards who lingered at her backside – taking every opportunity to look at it too – at every waking moment.
“Why didn’t I learn this in Northern Court,” Emma sighed, pushing her chair back, knowing fully well that Killian was leaning on it, and breathing a chuckle when she heard a grunt of pain. Served the bastard right for invading her personal space. “I wouldn’t have to put up with your helpful hints.”
“You love my helpful hints, Princess,” Killian retorted, hand nursing his ribs as he followed her from the room.
“You know, you could do something really helpful and teach me to defend myself so I don’t need you.”
“Erm, I get paid to do this,” Killian pointed out, “Why on Earth would I teach you that?”
“I know other dignitaries that need bodyguards.”
“Mm,” Killians said, coming over to walk in step with her and tapping her belittlingly on the nose. “But none of them are as cute as you, Princess.”