and she likes him a lot and i lost my shit

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

The Things We Give Welsh Learners: y Babi Sinsir

So I was going through our bookshelf yesterday, because we’re fast approaching the point where we need a clear-out, and I came across one of my all-time favourite creations ever, probably even beating shit like the wheel and penicillin. Years back, before leaving The Man to pursue his dreams of being a sort of professional clown-thing, my husband used to be a translator for Neath Port Talbot Council; as is often the way with Welsh councils, though, owing to a lack of money and also everywhere is really close to each other (this country is 150 miles wide at its widest point, and about 47 miles at the thin bit. Ver ver small), NPT Council’s translating department was shared by Swansea Council. Thus it was that, in the halcyon days of circa 2009, the two decided to team up and produce a new Welsh language book for learners between them, and thus it got sent through to Steffan to proof read it.

A Thing You May Not Know: Welsh is one of ten indigenous languages to Britain, arguably the oldest, and has been viciously oppressed over the last millennium and a half as part of England’s big If You Destroy Their Culture They’ll Be Glad To Be Ruled By You policy. These days, it’s nonetheless still spoken by approximately a fifth of the Welsh population; a hell of a feat, considering, but the suppression of it continues to this day (just in cleverer, sneakier ways now than whipping people’s children if they’re heard.) But it is classified as Endangered. Thanks to Welsh-language schools now being a thing (though supply is much lower than demand), transmission rates to the younger generation are pretty good; but, Welsh is peculiarly dependent on adult learners.

This means that learner books might have to appeal to both children and adults while using very simple language, which I explain in case it in some way justifies the bewildering weirdness of what I’m about to show you; because at first glance, this book is simply for children. But it’s… Well. 

Well.

I present to you, with translations in bold and commentary by me, Y Babi Sinsir.

Literally, “the Ginger Baby”, but they mean ‘ginger’ as in ‘gingerbread’. Literal ginger. Not the colour.

This is Mr Jones. This is Mrs Jones.

What’s wrong, Mrs Jones? I want a baby.

Note: there will be some confusion in this book about whether the narrator is speaking, or anyone else. It might seem cut and dried here, but there are no speech marks around “Dw i eisiau babi”, whereas later speech marks are used, and also in two pages’ time the narrator will actively pass a value judgement using first person, so… Well.

But, so far so good.

Mrs Jones is making a Babi Sinsir.

… okay, so I like this page because of the capitalisation of Babi Sinsir and the lack of definite article. She’s just making a Babi Sinsir. You know, a Babi Sinsir? Magical baby made of gingerbread that you make if you can’t conceive but can’t afford IVF? Yeah. A Babi Sinsir. That’s right.

Let it be known that this is Not A Thing in Welsh folklore or mythology. What the fuck. How does this work. Where does the magic come from? Do you need a faerie ingredient? Will the next page tell us?

This is the Babi Sinsir. I like the Babi Sinsir.

Nope.

But it is apparently shit-capable and needs a nappy. It’s good that the narrator likes it anyway.

The Babi Sinsir is bad. He’s running.

Uh oh.

“Come back, Babi Sinsir.”

Look how Worried the Joneses are. Funny how they don’t seem to be calling that enthusiastically, though. I’d have expected an exclamation mark at least. Did Mrs Jones always have a massive left arm? I can’t remember.

“Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yeah, okay, so that’s the Welsh for “Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!”, but once again, I’m going to have to draw attention to the lack of expressive punctuation here. It really feels like this naughty Babi Sinsir’s heart is just not in this.

“Come and help, Mr Horse.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Cool, look, a floating horse has come to help.

The pen there, incidentally, was an attempt by the translators to work out who was talking. I can’t imagine why. This dialogue is on fire, everyone can tell.

“Come and help, Mrs Cow.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Now they have been joined in their high-speed zombie shuffle by a married floating cow who is, if I’m not much mistaken, high as shit.

“Come and help, Mr Goat.”  “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

I’m starting to suspect the artist only knew how to draw the legs on animals in one way.

“Come and help, Mr Dog.”  “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yes, that dog is definitely here to ‘help’. Also… the Babi Sinsir is literally within reach of Mrs Jones’ massive left arm now. Why is she not just picking him up?

“Come and help, Miss Cat.” “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

You may be wondering at this point if this is just… the whole book. An ever-increasing flock of floating zombie creatures shuffling after a naughty gingerbread baby in a nappy who is committing the cardinal sin of running. I mean… where can they go from here, amirite? A sheep? A squirrel? A chicken? We can hit a hundred pages this way, easy. The concern is the artist, whom I think was stretched a bit beyond their means on this project anyway.

BUT WORRY NOT! Shit’s about to go down, guys.

Oh no! Here comes Mr Wolf. Mr Wolf runs and catches the Babi Sinsir.

THAT IS A FOX

THAT IS A GODDAMN FOX YOU HEATHEN FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT WEARING CLOTHES WHEN NONE OF THE OTHER ANIMALS WERE

WHY IS IT DRESSED IN DUNGAREES LIKE A LAZY FARMHAND ON AN AMERICAN RANCH IN THE 1800S

This doesn’t bode well for the -

Half of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHAT THE

Quarter of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHY DOES IT STILL LOOK SAD AND HORRIFIED WHY IS IT STILL ALIVE OH MY GOD

The Babi Sinsir has gone! There’s tasty.

What the

Wha

It

I realise this is not the main point to make here, but two pages ago it had eaten half of that nappy, and now it’s whole again and delicately discarded to one side, I just want

I mean

It’s okay, right? This happens in fairytales? Little Red Riding Hood? Someone will eviscerate the fox and out will come the Babi Sinsir…’s pieces, and they can be baked back together…?

No one cares!

Mrs Jones is making another Babi Sinsir.

The new Babi Sinsir loves Mrs Jones.

… 

…okay, so there’s a lot for us all to take in right now, and we’re all going to get through it at different speeds. But I’m just going to draw attention to the fact that Mr Jones is now merely depicted as a picture on the wall, and the new Babi Sinsir apparently only loves Mrs Jones, and…

Okay so they just lost their beloved baby gingerbread son because he got eaten alive by a fox in dungarees calling itself a wolf, right? Mrs Jones apparently couldn’t give less of a fuck if she tried, as long as she has some flour and ginger left over to make another. This one she made to love her.

Mr Jones, I presume, had a total mental breakdown and drank himself to death. At the very least, he’s left her, look. All she has left is the photo.

But does dim ots! Mae’r Babi Sinsir newydd yn caru Mrs Jones.

And that is the story of Y Babi Sinsir, aka the greatest work of literature ever written.

The White Dress.

This story is about my friends MIL, and her wedding. Strap in guys, this is a wild ride in which I did THE THING that got me banned from any of her family functions. (Plus a few threats of dismemberment and bodily harm)

A good friend of mine from university was getting married! They had been a couple since Junior year of college, through her 2 years in the peace corps and currently her return to this continent. 6 years in total. She had been to all manner of family functions and always came back with a strange story about how she thinks her MIL secretly hates her. But she being a very quiet and sweet person pushed those thoughts aside.

Point 1: She is vegetarian and jewish, husband is not. She was invited and went to Christmas dinner and figured she would just eat sides, as well she brought a vegetarian casserole. MIL, after knowing her for THREE years, and being told by husband a few weeks before about not to forget friend doesn’t eat meat…proceeded to put meat in every dish. Friend drank water and ate her casserole the whole night while MIL cried to everyone that friend was so rude for not eating her cooking.

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episode one :: Yuuri Katsuki is the most beautiful disaster that Victor has ever met in his entire life, and Victor has built his empire on beautiful disasters.



Victor isn’t sure he knows what he’s doing anymore by the time casting rolls around for season 22 of The Bachelor.  Okay, he knows what he’s doing, but it’s all autopilot.  He’s got a dossier of Chip Vanderbones and Tad Hardbeefs to look at, but is almost resigned enough to just give into Lilia and Yakov’s suggestion to cast Georgi Popovich, notorious histrionic Bachelorette season 10 runner-up, as this season’s lead out of sheer notgivingafuckness.  At this point Victor isn’t even sure whether he really wants to be in this game at all anymore, but what the hell else he would do besides sleep for a thousand years if he retired before thirty?  

And then Phichit Chulanont comes into his office to distract him during a conference call with Yakov to tell him a story about his friend who just crashed and burned at the Figure Skating Grand Prix Finals, and everything click click clicks into place: redemption narrative.  Twenty young men are going for the gold, but only one can win the heart of Yuuri Katsuki– he can hear the promos, see the character arcs unfold, and the narratives rush through him like they’ve always lived inside him and it feels–exciting.  

“Phichit,” Victor says suddenly, interrupting Phichit and grabbing him from across his desk.  “We have to get him.  He’s our next bachelor.”

“Oh my God,” Phichit replies, eyes widening, and then again, “Oh my God.

“Do you think you could get him?” Victor asks.  He’s seeing figure skating dates, thematic destination shoots in Chile and Finland and Iceland, “The Bachelor: Love on Ice” title screen flashing over two champagne glasses on the lip of an outdoor hot tub.  

“Do I think I can get him,” Phichit repeats dismissively, looking the closest to offended that Victor has ever seen him.  “What do you think you hired me for, Nikiforov.”

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Homestuck Pool Party Headcanons

John: Canonballs in IMMEDIATELY, he is yelling and he is fucking excited move out of the way this boy is coming through!! Also, because he has a breath aspect I am 413% certain that he can stay underwater for indefinite amounts of time and you can bet your ass he’s going around grabbing people’s feet to freak them out. He and Terezi have a contest to see who can make the most people jump, I will not say who wins I will only say that it is unfortunate for everyone involved. He and Dave are an unstoppable chicken team, they have never lost and will do Whatever It Takes to make sure that remains true.

Dave: Is just chillin, he cares more about keeping his shades dry than swimming around. He will go hard as hell in Marco Polo tho, if you thought he was too cool to jump at the nearest person faster than the speed of light you were wrong buddy he will do what it takes to WIN. Also, when he is the Marco he will (unfairly) target Karkat. This is frustrating. “I’m not even being that loud” Karkat protests for the umpteenth time Dave tags him. “Bullshit” everyone else says, but there’s still a rule that Dave can’t tag Karkat more than five times in a row because really Dave we know you love hearing him yell but Enough Please.

Karkat: Is Bad At Marco Polo. He is so loud. My son. Please. Is very hesitant to get into the water at first bc he’s sensitive to the cold and would rather angrily sweat than deal with the initial shock of getting in. Dave will patiently chill nearby until Karkat is ready, or Dave decides that Karkat is ready in which he will absolutely drag him in. Karkat does not know how to swim so he won’t go past the shallow end, and considering how short he is, uh, that’s not very much of the pool. Dave has to carry him sometimes which he complains about A Lot but secretly kind of likes it whoops. Karkat and Sollux are the shittiest chicken team, Karkat is too afraid of falling in to have any sort of effective strategy and Sollux is like “Karkat just push him” and sort of plows into the other team which just leads to Karkat screeching and nothing gets done.

Roxy: LOVES SWIMMING WITH HER FRIENDS!!! Real people?? That she’s hanging out with?? And you KNOW she’s excited to wear that cute as fuck bikini she alchemized months ago ‘just in case’ ;) ;) ;). After years of knowing Jane and her silly prankster shenanigans, John will absolutely not get the drop on her no sir, he tries to grab her foot she will raise that leg and pull the boy out of the water and give him the Mom Look™. This is war. John will not win. She loves being with Jane and Roxy and her boys!! She is just full of so much love it’s incredible. She deserves this so much.

Calliope: Doesn’t know much about swimming or why humans (and trolls ish) find it so enjoyable, but Roxy is excited so she is too! Interestingly enough, cherubs Do Not Float. Roxy is waving a nervous Callie into the pool and she’s coming down the ladder and once it gets to her chin everyone expects her to do something but no, she makes it to the bottom of the pool and just walks like normal over to where Roxy is. The water level comes up to just below her nose and she has to tilt her head back to speak. “Like this?” She asks excitedly, ‘uh,,, yeah,,,like that’ everyone responds nervously, giving big smiles and thumbs up because they don’t want to disappoint her.

Jade: A master swimmer, she and Jake grew up on an island in the middle of the goddamn pacific my girl knows how to GO. No one realized how fucking ripped Jade was. Jade is ripped as heck. She’s got back and shoulder muscles like an absolute goddess and everyone is like holy shit? Jade? Have you been benching pumpkins all these years? She likes chilling with Jane and Roxy and Calliope because she has been longing for some gals to hang with forever. Not that she doesn’t love Rose, she does, it’s just, they have such differing personalities and anyways it’s kind of hard being around her and Kanaya bc they’re so cute it makes your teeth hurt.

Rose: She and Kanaya have matching floppy sun hats, they love laying out in the sun because Kanaya is a little nervous around water thanks to a certain sea-dweller *cough* eridan *cough*. Rose doesn’t mind, her swimsuits are more for show than swim anyways. She’s got some really cool and intricate goth-y ones and some nice lighthearted pastel ones, an orange and yellow fancy one-piece and a frilly lavender one. Rose has a new appreciation for sunlight but still religiously applies sunscreen because a home girl may be immortal, but fuck if she is gonna deal with any nasty sunburns after defeating the fucking embodiment of evil.

Kanaya: As previously stated, very nervous around water, but so so happy to be in the sun?? It’s not as bright as the one on Alternia which is fine because that means her troll friends can enjoy it too, but she’s literally just so happy to be around people that enjoy the sun the way she does because she’s felt wrong and different about it for years and she finally found someone that understands her ahhshshsjs. She designs all of Rose’s swimsuits and loves seeing her wear them. When it gets dark out, she likes to turn on the glow a little and all these cute little furry wingbeasts will flock to her?? “Those are moths” Rose tells her. “These are my children now” Kanaya pats Rose’s arm, they’re her children too because that’s how human marriage works she’s pretty sure

Dirk: Is so awkward oh my godddd, a little uncomfortable in his body actually? This boy might have muscle but he is all arms and legs and doesn’t know what to do with them because he’s never fuckifnfnfn been around people before. Doesn’t say “Marco” during Marco Polo, he just listens. Breath too loud? You’re tagged. Splash a little? Tagged. Move? Tagged. He’s never Marco for more than two minutes because he’s so in tune with his reflexes that no one even stands a chance. With Jake on his shoulders, they make a decent chicken team, but they’re too worried about each other to be effective. “You okay up there?” He wants to make sure. Someone is tipping Jake over oh no get him off my shoulders is he okay, oh he’s fine, yes I know how the game works Roxy, no Rose why don’t you get in the pool and do a better job before you come for me like that. Rose and Kanaya, in an extremely rare occurrence, do get in for a round of chicken. They beat Dirk and Jake almost immediately. They return to the deck. This never happened and we don’t speak of it.

Jake: Is bad at Marco Polo, he’s an amazing swimmer but he’s not…quiet. After growing up on that island, fighting and swimming, Jake is also Ripped as Heck. Dirk blushes his fucking ass off the first time he sees Jake shirtless. Jake acts all clueless like oh? What’s wrong Dirk? Is something the matter? But he knows exactly what he’s doing and if he’s subtly flexing in front of him, well. That can’t be helped. He may suck during chicken with Dirk, but with Jade on his shoulders? Hoo boy, they give Dave and John a run for their money. He is also John’s favorite to grab the feet of because his reactions are always so over the top with his phrasing. “Horsefeathers!” He grabs at his foot in panic because his first thought is it was one of the monsters from his island, then he sees it was just John who is laughing his ass off because, horse feathers? Really? “I say,” Jake huffs indignantly even though he’s smiling now. “Warn a fellow!”

Jane: Looks rockin’ in her swimsuits because she’s wearing the whole high waisted pinup style ones and?? She’s super gorgeous? Roxy makes sure to tell her that every five seconds just in case she forgets. She and Roxy make a decent chicken team, usually they’re laughing so hard by the end of it that whoever was on top can’t do anything and they fall off because they don’t care about winning they’re just having such a good time. She and Roxy take turns carrying Callie around when the water gets too deep, not that Callie needs to be above the water per se as she seems to have no trouble breathing, but it just makes everyone a little more comfortable and anyways Callie loves it.

Terezi: Killer at Marco Polo for obvious reasons, sometimes she gets tagged on purpose just to show off how quickly she can find people. The only person she’s never been able to get is John, he uses his windy powers to obscure his scent so she can’t “see” him. He is her Marco Polo white whale. One day, John, one day. She and Vriska are terrifying during chicken, Vriska will plow full speed towards the opposing team and Terezi is ready to Throw Hands. The most intense games are between them and John and Dave, both John and Terezi are on top and they fuckin battle it out so hard that Dave and even Vriska start to get nervous on the bottom.

Sollux: Says the water feels slimy. “No shit,” Karkat tells him. “It’s water you fucking shitstain.” Sollux cheats during chicken by using his psiionics to keep Karkat on his shoulders which only makes Karkat mad because he’s terrified of falling in and holy shit Sollux I don’t care what you think your powers are doing I’m gonna fall in fuck fuck fuck. “No I got you” Sollux assures him. He does not. Karkat is not got. Oh well. Sollux mostly likes chilling on inner tubes, plural. He has a blue one and a red one because he’s too tall to fit in just one. “Get a bigger inner tube” Karkat complains. “Perhaps get one of those long, recliner like ones?” Kanaya suggests. No. Sollux will use two inner tubes. He will make the sacrifice of comfort for his aesthetic.

Be My Boyfriend

[ao3]

“Dean, be my boyfriend!” Castiel hissed.

Dean’s attention was pulled away from Charlie (who snorted into her drink) when Castiel grabbed his arm.

“Uh,” Dean said, feeling like he was missing out on some vital information. Castiel’s wide eyes were a little too bright and his cheeks were flushed with pink, indicating that he was probably a little bit drunk, though that still didn’t help clear up the situation.

“Come here!” Castiel dragged Dean by the arm across the crowded room until they stood in front of a short brunette who Dean thought was named Meg. Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and squeezed him to his side.

“I told you!” he told Meg triumphantly. “I have a boyfriend!”

Meg looked Dean up and down incredulously. “You’re dating Dean Winchester?”

Starting to catch on, Dean put a possessive arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Yeah, he is. Got a problem with that?”

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things the world needs more of:

  • Grandpa Torino
  • Dad Might
  • Dadzawa
  • Mama Inko
  • Kirishima & Tsuyu big bro/big sis-ing the class
  • Bakugou’s friendship with Kiri and Kami
  • Tokoyami & Kouda’s friendship
  • Todoroki & Iida interaction/friendship
  • Uraraka’s Hot Blooded MANLINESS nature
  • Jirou fucking with Kaminari just because
  • Tokoyami being all dark and brooding and dorky
  • the kids lovingly roasting Bakugou
  • Shouji helping everyone b/c he is the ultimate Big Bro
  • Satou being adorkable and baking everyone cakes for their birthdays
  • Aoyama learning how to Friend b/c he wants to be equal w/ the class but doesn’t really know how to connect with the rest of them
  • Kouta punching Bakugou in the balls coming back
  • Eri & Kouta friendship
  • Momo helping everyone b/c she loves helping and being useful and the class finding this adorable
  • Todoroki being adorably oblivious and trying to reach out and be friends with the class
  • Tsuyu’s cute nicknames for everyone, and her bluntly saying things
  • Kaminari being dorky and cowardly but determined
  • Mina accidentally fucking with Aoyama
  • the class taking care of All Might b/c they love and care for him
  • Izuku dad-ing everyone (especially little lost kids)
  • Bakugou aggressively caring and being nice and cooking meals for the class (while making it spicey to show that he’s absolutely Not Being Nice)
  • Mirio and Tamaki’s friendship
  • Nijire’s relationship with them??? so cute
  • Tetsutetsu and Kirishima’s friendship and their bond over MANLINESS (+ maybe Uraraka b/c she Gets That Shit)
  • everyone cheering Tamaki on
  • Sero using his tape to prank literally everyone
  • Ojirou’s personal morals (he refused to move on in the Sports Festival b/c he was mind controlled and didn’t think he deserved that and i wanna learn more about him)
  • baby All Might with Nana and Torino
  • Mic and Aizawa’s friendship
  • Iida being Overly Responsible and Encouraging but in an endearing way
  • Todoroki with his mom and siblings
  • Uraraka training with hand to hand combat/self defense
  • Midnight b/c she had few teaching moments but she’s always really nice and competent and supportive when she’s in that role and i love it and she’s like the Cool Big Sis and i wanna see more of that
  • Mic getting protective of his friends/students and trying to beat up annoying civilians 
  • Bakugou with small animals
  • Momo being adorably oblivious b/c of how rich she is
  • Tooru wearing new and even cuter clothes 
  • Aizawa wearing mis-matched clothes b/c he’s a hobo
  • All Might wearing clothes that fit
  • class slumber parties
  • hugs
  • the kids being dorky little kids and doing silly dorky childish things 
  • hairstyling & makeovers
  • karaoke sessions where only a percentage of the class is actually good at singing and everyone else sucks but that’s what makes it fun
  • not gonna lie i’d love to see what would happen if Aoyama and Tokoyami were paired up in a team exercise training
  • seeing characters who normally don’t interact that much teaming up (like Sero & Tsuyu, or Kouta & Tooru, or Bakugou & Momo)
  • Aizawa with different hairstyles
  • the kids looking to Izuku and Bakugou for leadership
  • Mic being that Weird Eccentric Uncle
  • the kids having mini little competitions (snowball fights, videogame competitions, eating contests, etc)
  • the kids all subtly taking care of one another
  • the kid’s borrowing each other’s clothes
  • Cementoss b/c honestly what a sweetheart
  • Thirteen too, he’s just so adorable
  • all of the teachers really
  • Endeavor getting punched in the face
  • the kids admiring each other’s scars (including All Might’s and Aizawa’s)
  • Izuku’s fanboy nature
  • Izuku bonding with his classmates over various heroes (like Red Riot w/ Kirishima, or Gunhead/Thirteen w/ Uraraka, etc)
  • the class finding out about Izuku’s notebooks and realizing that they’re in them
  • All Might being a complete dork and fumbling a lot in general
  • Bakugou subtly encouraging his classmates
  • Bakugou subtly looking out for All Might
  • pillow fight wars
  • Todoroki bringing his mom to the class
  • the kids finding out that Bakugou is exactly like his mom
  • the kids fighting over the tv remote b/c they can’t decide what to watch
  • Dark Shadow blushing
  • less Mineta
Voltron Season 3

Okay, so, I can’t be the only one that doesn’t want Keith to lead Voltron in the beginning of season 3–at least, not easily at all. How much effort has been put into Keith and Shiro bonding with their lions aside, it just seems like a really, really bad idea for the team dynamic. 

Which I guess might be the whole point. If Keith does try to lead Voltron, I want it to go really, really badly. I want Red pissed at him and I want Black frustrated with the whole thing. I want them unable to form Voltron. I want Keith saying he’s gonna lead and Lance flipping his shit. But then Keith says “well, Shiro said he wanted me to do it!” And while this kind of shuts everyone up on the subject, tension is high (especially when every time Lance tries to say something, Keith shuts him down). 

I want Keith to be solely focused on rescuing Shiro, to the point where it’s a hinderance. Because, c’mon, ya’ll know he would be. While Keith isn’t selfish in his intentions (as he accused Pidge of being in the beginning of season 1), he can be in his actions. He’s always the first one to go off on his own, act rashly, and end up in battles he shouldn’t be facing alone. 

Keith is a loner and hasn’t yet learned to connect with his teammates enough to be a good leader. The only character he has a semi strong bond with is Shiro. And as he lacks the supportive leadership skills that Shiro has, it stands to reason that he’s not going to be very good at understanding his teammates. While in a battle he may know what needs to be done, he doesn’t know how to deal with people. His social obliviousness has been made clear multiple times. 

That aside, if we’re going to be changing the lions around, who’s taking over the spare lion? Is it Allura? Coran? And which lion is getting the switch? Why isn’t Allura getting the black lion and being the one in charge (this is how it should be, by all rights)? Maybe she will, we don’t know. 

BUT if she doesn’t–if Keith ends up in charge–it shouldn’t stick. There’s no way in hell Lance would rally behind Keith. Not with how poorly Keith will handle the team dynamics. It will fester, as will the fact that Shiro decided to put Keith in charge in his absence instead of someone else. And through Lance it will make Hunk and Pidge uncertain. 

I see them looking for Shiro and getting a distress call, but Keith wanting to ignore it in favor of looking for Shiro. Allura will have issues with this, but so will Hunk. After his reaction to the Balmera, you think he’d be okay with not trying to save enslaved peoples on their way through? Bad feelings begin to fester.  

They’ll find leads on Pidge’s family, but Keith will, again, want to focus solely on Shiro, feeding Pidge some bull about them being able to more efficiently look for her family after they find Shiro (look at how he reacted in season 1–you know that’s what he’d say). Again, bad feelings will fester. 

Until, finally, Lance loses it with Keith “bossing” everyone around, even if that wasn’t Keith’s intention (likely, Keith thinks he’s doing the right thing). They’ll get into a huge fight, Hunk and Pidge both agreeing with Lance’s points about Keith’s behavior. 

Keith will be frustrated. He feels out of place in the black lion and like he’s trying to fill shoes that are far, far too big for him (because they are). But he also feels like the others aren’t seeing the big picture. They have to find Shiro because they can’t save the universe without him. That should be their priority number one, in his mind. So you know what he does? In typical Keith fashion, he decides to deal with the situation on his own. He goes back to Red (if he’d ever left her in the first place) and leaves

He’s gonna find Shiro, even if he has to do it on his own. 

Thus, Team Voltron falls even more to shambles. 

Upon learning that Keith has left, Lance tries to remain bitter, but the guilt gnaws at him. While Lance does have the people skills that Keith lacks and could step up to the plate, his lack of self-esteem (because Lance’s confidence is about as thick as tissue paper) doesn’t allow him to do it. After all, he’s the jokester, the idiot, the one no one takes seriously. And he soon comes to believe that Keith leaving is his fault. 

So you know what he does? He goes after Keith. 

Which leaves Hunk and Pidge as the only lions left at the castle. This allows for two things–it allows Hunk and Pidge to stretch their legs in leadership positions as well as give the two the chance to form relationships with Allura and Coran. After all, Hunk wanted to be the head. Well, here’s his chance whether he wants it or not. Hunk being Hunk, however, wants to keep what little of the team is left together. Pidge was thinking of leaving too, to go look for her family, but Hunk stops her. He promises her they’ll look, explaining that going solo is only going to get them all into deeper trouble. Therefore, it becomes Hunk’s personal mission, and the heavy, heavy weight on his shoulders, to get the team back together. They go off in the direction they think Lance and Keith may have gone, answering any and all distress calls along the way. They get clues as to the locations of their friends, about the Galra, and make friendly with all kinds of peoples, even some that Allura probably doesn’t approve of. 

Because Allura’s arc will be her dealing with her own prejudice as well as the loss of her team and what she views as a failure on her part. However, Hunk is the perfect person to help rebuild her and get her back on the right track. 

Ultimately, it’s Hunk and Pidge, with Allura and Coran, that end up finding and saving Shiro. This is their big victory, so to speak, and goes very, very far in developing Hunk’s character, which is sorely needed. Big Man needs a situation to expand his strengths and become the rock of the team he’s supposed to be. It will, therefore, be Hunk who brings their leader back, as is fitting.  

You know who doesn’t get to save Shiro? Keith. Keith, who in his reckless determination has abandoned his family and realizes his mistake too late. Because, low and behold, he can’t do things on his own. I want Keith to learn some lessons because, frankly, he’s too much of a loose cannon not to. I want his lion stolen and him forced to trust and depend on others to help him from planet to planet hunting for for his lion and Shiro. I want him to learn nothing about where Shiro is and instead get lead upon lead about others in distress. I want him to see those families suffering at the hands of the Galra that he spoke of in season 1 and be unable to do anything. You want to know why? Because if there’s anything Keith has clearly never been, it’s helpless (at least, not since he was a child, which could make the whole thing even more interesting if he’s the way he is so as to avoid the helplessness he was dealt as a child *shrugs*). He needs to learn to depend on others and listen. In the end, he gets his lion back, but he’s faced with a crossroad. Does he follow a vague, undefined rumor he heard about Shiro, or does he follow all the clues he’s been getting about Pidge’s family? 

Keith gets to rescue and bring back Pidge’s father now (not the brother, because that’s too easy, obviously) because that’s what he learns is the right thing to do. Together–because Pidge’s father is a genius–they find the castle of lions and regroup, only to find Shiro already there. 

But Lance is still missing and learning that Lance left to go after him after he foolishly abandoned them eats horribly at Keith, as it very well should (Keith is one of my fav characters, guys, really XD).  

Lance, meanwhile, gets a treatment very opposite to Keith’s. He’s having doubts when it becomes clear he can’t track Keith. He’s reflecting on whether he even deserves to be a paladin and what he manages to bring to the team. he feels worthless and lost, and even his typical front of flirting and over-confidence begins to break down. But I want him to meet someone, someone older, that acts as a mentor to him. Because, frankly, Shiro makes a good mentor to Keith and Pidge, but hardly paid any attention to Lance and Hunk. And while Hunk doesn’t seem like the type to need that kind of support overly much, Lance is. But this person needs to be someone significant–maybe a member of an underground resistance outside the Blade of Marmora, maybe a previous paladin (I like this one a lot), I don’t care. But, one way or another, they–with Lance at the helm–save a fuckload of people and, you know what, because Lance deserves his moment too, they discover/save something/someone(s) huge. Or, better yet, diplomatically negotiate with a civilization that is powerful, but been in hiding as a result of the Galra empire spreading. Maybe they’re special because they know something about the lions. Maybe they built the fucking lions and it’s only through Lance’s growing confidence in his ability to be diplomatic–using the people skills he has but more or less abused in the past–that they convince this society and their awesome army/technology/badass ships/robots to join the Voltron cause. 

Lance’s character, above them all, needs this victory. He needs this proof of his value and as a way to solidify himself as the Blue lion. Lance needs his fucking moment, both for himself and the viewers, who have been as unable as Lance himself to truly see his value.  

When will this moment come? When he and this society (I really like this idea, okay?) hear through some high tech communication stuff that the castle of lions is in danger and that the Galra have brought down their whole fist in an effort to beat them/steal the lions. I imagine this society being either similar to the Alteans or related, so they’ll have the ability to make worm holes. 

Anyway, back on the castle of lions, shit is hitting the fan. They don’t currently have the support of the Blade of Marmora because, well, this isn’t the show finale and we need to leave some “gathering of allies” for later (you know, Avatar style). Which means they’re stuck minus one lion. But damn if they don’t come up with an awesome plan and make some epic dents in the Galra fleet (probably Lotor is around being a creeper too, because I get the feeling he’d probably have been around the whole time. Probably harassing team Hunk and being a passive-aggressive little bitch). Still, despite said awesome plan, they’re screwed. 

Until, boom, Lance shows up with the fleet of whatever it was he made an alliance with and the advantage is gained. The Galra are sent scattering (for once), Voltron is formed, and, uh, maybe Voltron fights Lotor, because this gives Lotor an excuse to see Voltron’s true power (and realize what his ridiculous father was always going on about). Upon being royally assaulted by Voltron, Lotor runs away. Which basically means he can’t go back to the Galra and, thus, we get a spoiled-brat prince with allegiance to no one continuing to cause problems in the next season (hint, hint, he’d eventually become good).    

Probably end the season with the team kind of getting a sort of victory (the Galra run away, so it’s not like they won the war or anything). There’s a bit at the end–maybe a cheesy reunion that doesn’t hold a lot of weight, because, boom, you have to wait till next season. Where we’ll get heavy on the Pidge and heavy on the Shiro again (since he’d been basically gone this whole season) and heavy on the Lance and Keith learning to be friends instead of rivals. 

THAT’S WHAT I WANT, OKAY?! 

Read my headcanons for season 4 here!

Maybe I’ll just end up writing this as a fic myself >.<

Originally posted by vyctornikiforov

jobetspot  asked:

#100 with Jungkook please! Thank you

I Got You On My Mind [Part 1]

Jungkook Soulmate AU

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Genre: Angst (ft. Fuckboy!Jungkook)

Summary: In a world where soulmates can share thoughts, you never imagined that the sweet voice in your head would belong to a guy like Jungkook.

Word count: 1.5k words

Originally posted by jungxook

You dropped your backpack beside you, and it landed on the ground with a loud thunk. Sighing quietly, you collapsed onto a beanbag (because your university was trendy enough to have them in the library) and tried not to cry. Your body sank into the soft material of the beanbag, and you wished you could just disappear.

The sunlight streaming in from the window beside you doused you in warmth, and soon you felt yourself slipping into sleep.

“Rough day?” a voice rang through your head. Your lips quirked into a smile, your earlier hardships completely forgotten.

It was a rare moment when soulmates shared thoughts. No one really understood the science of soulmates–the mechanics of thought-sharing, in particular. It was just a universally accepted phenomenon, and you thought it was beautiful.

Yeah, you could say that, you thought, hoping your soulmate would be able to hear you. Sometimes, all you got was a passing thought, and sometimes you were able to have conversations. There was only one limitation–you could never share your identity.

Still, you tried and tried and tried. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

“What happened?” your soulmate asked, his sweet voice making you blush. You thought his voice was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard, and you wondered if the boy was just as beautiful.

Just…life. University’s hard, you know? you replied. The little information you knew about your soulmate was this: he was around your age, also in university, studying music and dance, liked anime, exercised a lot.

“Trust me, I feel that,” came his response, and it sounded almost amused. “But you’ll be okay.”

For the next few minutes, you tried to think of something to ask him. You hoped he couldn’t hear your embarrassing thoughts. His thoughts were silent too, and you knew the connection had been lost.

Smiling sadly, you stood up and grabbed your bag. Your encounter with your soulmate, however brief, was enough to energize you. Ready to face the rest of the day, you walked out of the library. Your thoughts lingered back to your soulmate, and you wondered if he was thinking about you, too.


Your phone blared loudly, and you startled awake. Still disoriented, your heart thumped wildly as you searched blindly for your phone. Finally, you located it on your nightstand. Squinting at the bright screen, you saw that you had an incoming call from your roommate.

“Hello?” you mumbled, pressing your phone to the side of your face.

“Oh, shit, did I wake you up?” Jieun exclaimed, her excited voice too loud so early in the morning. “Well, since you’re up, we can talk! Y/N, you’ll never guess what just happened.”

You sighed, flopping back onto your bed. “So tell me,” you said blandly.

“You’re no fun,” Jieun pouted. “Okay! So. I just slept with Jungkook! Let me tell you, the rumours are true. He’s great in bed and he does this thing–”

“Wow! Cool!” you squeaked, quickly cutting her off. You did not need to know about Jieun–or Jungkook’s–sex life. “Is that a good idea, though? I know you’re low-key crushing on him, but Jungkook doesn’t do relationships, right?”

“He doesn’t,” Jieun confirmed sadly. “But maybe he’ll change?”

“I don’t know, Jieun,” you replied slowly. “Be careful, because with a guy like Jungkook, you’re only gonna get hurt.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she snorted. You could hear rustling in the background as Jieun moved. “He’s a major fuckboy. I’m trying not to catch feelings, but he’s so damn hot.”

You grunted in agreement.

“Oh, Y/N, can you do me a favour?” Jieun asked suddenly. “I’m going straight to school from Jungkook’s flat. Could you bring me a change of clothes and, like, mouthwash or something?”

“Yeah, sure,” you yawned, getting up to go to Jieun’s room. “I’ll be at school in like an hour. Should I just meet you in the music building?”

Jieun was majoring in music, since she was such a great singer.

“Yep!” she chirped. “Thank you so much, Y/N. You’re the bestest friend ever!”


You walked aimlessly through the music building, a bag full of clothes and toiletries on your back, as you searched for the room number Jieun had sent you earlier. It was a practice room, and the hall you were moving through seemed endless.

In the distance, you could hear the sound of someone singing. As you continued forwards, the voice became clearer and clearer. The person had a beautiful voice. It was clear and melodious, floating softly through the air.

It tugged at the back of your mind, like a faint memory. It was almost like a weird sense of deja vu, and you struggled to recall why.

Then–it hit you.

This was the voice you had been hearing in your head your entire life–the one you had listen to transform over the years. Your soulmate was here.

Your heart thundered in your chest as you practically ran, following the sound of your soulmate’s beautiful voice. It led you to a door that was slightly ajar. Your soulmate was still singing, completely unaware that you were just outside the room, listening.

For a moment, you stopped, not entirely sure if you were ready to meet your soulmate. It was supposed to be the most beautiful moment in life, and it felt strange that your meeting wasn’t going to be spontaneous.

Still, your curiosity got the better of you. You peered through the crack in the doorway, searching for the owner of the voice.

Before you, Jungkook stood. His profile was facing you, the light from the window behind him highlighting his features. Jungkook was beautiful.

Then, you turned away. You could feel your heart breaking already. A guy like Jungkook didn’t believe in soulmates, if his sexual escapades were any indication.

So you left, locating Jieun’s practice room and placing the bag in front of it. As quickly as you had come, you exited the building, headed towards the library to drown yourself in work. You wanted to forget–forget who he was, forget about soulmates, forget about the future you had hoped for.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook’s voice suddenly spoke, clear in your mind.

You pushed his thoughts away, keeping your mind blank as possible as you hurried through the quad with your head cast down. You didn’t want to indulge in something you could never truly have.


You spent the entire day in the library, alternating between working and staring blankly at the textbooks in front of you. You had forgotten to eat that day, so when you finally staggered out of the library, you were exhausted and hungry. The walk home was quiet. The sun had set a long time ago, although you weren’t entirely sure what time it was.

Once you reached your apartment, you were surprised to find the front door unlocked. You and Jieun didn’t live in the best part of town, so you were always sure to lock the door whenever you came and went.

You turned the knob, and the door creaked as it opened. As you stepped through the threshold, you stumbled over a pair of shoes that were haphazardly strewn on the ground.

“Y/N!” Jieun exclaimed in surprise, sounding breathless.

At that, you looked up.

In front of you, Jieun was pressed against the wall, shirtless, as some guy was leaning over her, his lips attached to her neck. The guy turned towards you once he noticed Jieun’s stillness.

It was Jungkook.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I’m so sorry,” Jieun rambled, pushing Jungkook off her as she reached down to grab her shirt that had been discarded. “I thought you weren’t coming home tonight, since you were so late!”

“D-don’t worry,” you stammered, your voice wavering. You kept your eyes on Jieun, trying not to look at Jungkook. You could feel his heavy gaze on you. “I can stay with Rose or something, it’s not a problem. I’ll j-just leave–”

Suddenly, Jungkook was in front of you, pushing you backwards until your back hit the wall. His face was morphed into shock, even awe, before he schooled his features back into indifference. Jungkook peered over you, his large frame blocking your line of vision. You were forced to look at him, and his eyes were burning into you yours.

You’re my soulmate!?” he demanded, his normally sweet voice rumbling. The person he was in your mind was completely different than the boy who stood in front of you. “Answer me!”

“Yes,” you whispered, your voice faltering. You continued, your voice stronger, “I am.”

“Fuck,” Jungkook spat, leaning back. He stepped away from you, returning to the front door where he slipped into his shoes. Jungkook turned back to you, and when he spoke, his voice was cold. “I’m not the guy I pretend to be. So do us both a favour and stay the fuck away. Forget this every happened.”

With that, Jungkook exited the apartment, slamming the door behind him. You stood, back still against the wall. You could hear Jieun talking to you, but she sounded far away. But for the first time, your mind was completely blank.

You decided you hated the silence.

- Girl in Luv

Thanks for reading! I think I’ll continue this story…I hate sad endings. When I first imagined this story, it seemed like it could be a longer piece? Maybe I’ll rewrite it or make it a chaptered thing…what do you guys think?

OTP Drabble Challenge!

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask, along with a pairing, and you write a drabble using that dialogue in your piece! Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

  1. “The doctor said it’s normal” - “Well that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
  2. “Baby, you’re not a bother.” - “I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it.”
  3. “Come with me to the other room.” - “We’re not going to talk about this now.”
  4. “Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?”
  5. “Don’t yell at me like I’m a child!!” - “DON’T THROW SCISSORS!”
  6. “Here, take me blanket/jacket.” - “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivering*
  7. “Did you hear that?” - “I’m telling you, I’m haunted.”
  8. “I just wanted an easy day with my boyfriend/girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?”
  9. “Why are you awake right now?”
  10. “Come over here and make me.”
  11. “I want my best friend back.” - “Kevin is over there.”
  12. “H-how long have you been standing there?” - “Long enough.”
  13. “You’re lying, you’re blushing.” - “Shut up, no I’m not!”
  14. “No, I’m not talking to you.”
  15. “No more!” - “Okay, fine, I won’t send you any more selfies.”
  16. “What do you have?” - “Pizza rolls and Cup O’ Noodles…that’s about it. Popcorn?”
  17. “The salad here is really good.” - “Do I look like a fucking rabbit?”
  18. “Open this.” - “Can you say please?”
  19. “I just came to say goodbye…” - “Bullshit, you just feel bad.”
  20. “You’re on level 176.” - “Can you judge me harder?”
  21. “Jinx, you owe me a coke.” - *can’t speak until they buy a soda*
  22. “Please don’t leave me.” - “I don’t want to go”
  23. “Babe, I’m sorry.” - “Suck my ass.”
  24. “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” - “Seriously, you’re worse than a kid.”
  25. “You can’t ride a bike?” - “Why are we whispering?”
  26. “Is it that time of the month?” - “You literally ask me that whenever I’m mad at you!”
  27. “We’re going downtown.” - “There’s a strip club downtown.”
  28. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”
  29. “It’s not mine, I swear.” - “How is it not fucking yours!”
  30. “Take it off.” - “Like a bandaid?”
  31. “I told you…” - “Yeah, yeah, yeah, quit nagging.”
  32. “Boo?” - “You’re my boo.”
  33. “Don’t you ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!”
  34. “You broke what?!?” - “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”
  35. “Why’re you dressed like that?” - “Does that mean it looks good or should I change?”
  36. “Fine, just do what you have to do.” - “Can you stop being so freaking cute so I can concentrate?”
  37. “…then I picked up your coffee by mistake.” - “All I want is an apology.”
  38. “Well, this is awkward.” - “Don’t touch me.”
  39. “You can’t make me.” - “What are you? Five?”
  40. “You’re a blanket hog!” - “Leave me alone and stop being so selfish.”
  41. “It’s not fair that you’re hot and funny.” - “Look who’s talking…just kidding, your jokes suck.”
  42. “I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.”
  43. “Should I be worried?” - “Is the grass green?”
  44. “You’re kidding me?!” - “Shush, my mom never taught me.”
  45. “I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
  46. “Will you go with me?” - “As long as you hold my hand.”
  47. “Baby, I’m scared.” - “You don’t have to be; not as long as I’m here.”
  48. “Come inside, I’m sorry.” - “Not until you apologize.” - “I just said I’m freaking sorry.”
  49. “Your voice is sexy.” - “Your ass is sexy.”
  50. “If I asked, you’d say no.” - “You don’t know that.”
  51. “Seriously, the chimney?” - “The squirrel can’t win!”
  52. “32?” - “I’ll prove it!”
  53. “It’s just so little and adorable.” - “That’s what she said.”
  54. “You’re not mature enough to be a parent.” - “Try me.”
  55. “Take a chance.” - “Umm…let me think…no.”
  56. “Game’s over, you son of a bitch!!” - “Okay, just don’t hit me.”
  57. “You forgot about my birthday!” - “In my defense, I forget about a lot of things.”
  58. “You need more stamina.” - “No, I need more steak and eggs. So…get on it.”
  59. “Can you dance with me?” - “You’re not mad?”
  60. “I’ll smash it, I swear.” - “You smash it and we’re done.”
  61. “Move!” - “Why would I move if I’m so comfy where I am?”
  62. “I’m not going in.” - “Then we’re not going to get a treat after.”
  63. “I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.” - “I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.”
  64. “I found it in the recycling bin.” - “Well, you’re the one killing the environment, so who’s really in the wrong here?”
  65. “We bet, and you lost.” - “But tattoos are permanent.”
  66. “Can you quit being so sassy?” - “Can you quit being so controlling?”
  67. “Are you getting jealous?” - “You’re changing your outfit, now!”
  68. “What time is it there?” - “We’re in the same time-zone.”
  69. “Quit flirting.” - “I didn’t mean to-”
  70. “I just don’t know what happened.” - “You’re too good for them.”
  71. “You have a cute nose, don’t make me break it.”
  72. “Tell me what I can do to help.” - “Sing me to sleep.”
  73. “You still need your baby blanket?”
  74. “Did you black out?” - “I feel like I’m gonna puke.”
  75. “Let’s just bury the hatchet.” - “Fuck your hatchet.”
  76. “I bet it’s a boy.” - “I bet it’s a turtle.”
  77. “Spare change?” - “You can’t be responsible, you don’t get your wallet.”
  78. “Cuddle or leave.” - “So is that a no to supper?”
  79. “Are you high?” - “I’m just so fucking tired.”
  80. “Why did I marry you?” - “It took a lot of convincing.”
  81. “Who’s texting you?” - “Umm. nobody.”
  82. “You have two choices.” - “Neither of which I like…”
  83. “I want a dog.” - “I want a cat.”
  84. “Chinese food?” - “Do we even know what that’s made of?”
  85. “These sheets are stained.” - “That’s disgusting.”
  86. “You don’t know how to change a tire?” - “Give it a rest, would you?”
  87. “That’s my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.” - “Well, kiss me so they see.”
  88. “We got lucky. You’re not gonna do that again, right?”
  89. “Hey, babe, look what I found.” - “GET THAT OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!!”
  90. “You’ve been replaced.” - “Alright, we’ll see how you feel when you need me to kill a spider in the shower.”
  91. “Are those slippers?” - “Is that you being mean? AGAIN?”
  92. “You forgot your book.” - “No, I lost my book!”
  93. “You’re weird.” - “Or you’re just basic.”
  94. “We need a vacation.” - “You read my mind too much, it scares me.”
  95. “Why’d you hug him? You love him?”
  96. “Sorry.” - “Good choice.”
  97. “Luck? Nope. Skills.” - “If it’s skill then do it again.”
  98. “Why can’t you just believe me?” - “Because you lied about it before.”
  99. “This bath is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”
  100. *Make up your own*

Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!!

Scavenger Hunt

Stiles/Derek, T, 2500 words, Meet Cute AU

Written for the following prompt:

“i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au

“Honey, I’m home!” Stiles calls out as he wrestles his roll bag over their entry mat.

“That’s still not funny,” Scott says, without looking up from his textbook.

“Once again, we disagree.”

Scott snorts. “How was the trip?”

“Fine,” he says, plopping down right in the middle of the living room to start unpacking. “Typical conference. Some sessions were actually interesting, most were boring as shit.”

Scott hums, already absorbed again in his reading. Stiles reaches for the zipper on his suitcase but then freezes—this is definitely the same brand as his suitcase, but he doesn’t remember this extra zippered pocket on the top.

“Oh, shit.”

“What?”

Stiles grimaces. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t my suitcase. Goddamn it.”

Scott finally looks up, frowning. “Shit, really? How’d you manage that?”

“It was a redeye,” Stiles says, running a hand through his hair. “I was exhausted, in fucking LaGuardia, and I was just trying to get out of there as fast as humanly possible.”

“Is there a name on it? Are you sure it’s not yours?”

“Pretty sure,” Stiles says, feeling around the sides for the pocket. He sighs when he pulls out the little card and sees that it’s blank. “Motherfucker. This is definitely not my suitcase because I’m actually smart enough to put my name on it.”

“Sorry, man,” Scott says sympathetically as Stiles falls back on the rug with an anguished groan.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

“Open it,” Scott suggests. “Maybe there’s something with their name on it.”

Stiles fiddles with the zipper. He’s nosy as hell, in general, and normally he’d be jumping at the chance to rifle through someone else’s personal belongings. But… 

“What if there’s like, dead bodies in there or something?” he asks, and Scott just stares at him for a second. Stiles rolls his eyes—that’s a perfectly valid concern. Or maybe he watches too many police procedurals, whatever. “Okay, fine.”

Stiles holds his breath as he slowly unzips the suitcase, but nothing happens when he lets the top part flop back onto their crappy, threadbare rug. There’s a Dodgers hat on top, and Stiles grimaces. “Well, they have shitty taste in baseball teams.”

He sets the hat carefully aside and keeps digging. The person is neat, whoever they are, because everything is folded, and all the dirty clothes are even all contained in their own zippered bag. At first glance, there’s nothing too out of the ordinary—phone charger, American Gods, Calvin Klein briefs. Fancy, he thinks. There’s a monogrammed leather toiletry bag (DSH, he commits those initials to memory), and he pokes through it.

“I’m gonna make an educated guess that it’s a guy.”

“Why’s that?” Scott says, finally looking somewhat interested in this mystery.

Stiles holds up an electric razor. “And that he’s maybe not totally straight,” he says, brandishing a little bottle of lube that’s about three-quarters full.

Scott rolls his eyes. “Lots of people use lube.”

“Yeah, but do you travel with it?” Stiles counters, and Scott sighs.

“No,” he admits. “Did you find anything with his actual name on it?”

“Not yet,” Stiles says absently. He continues to rifle through the bag until he’s pretty sure he has his plan of attack. “Okay. I’m gonna find out who it is,” he says with a determined nod, and Scott frowns.

“How? This is New York City! There are literally millions of dudes here.”

“It’ll be like a real-life scavenger hunt,” Stiles says dreamily, ignoring Scott as he carefully lays his three chosen items out on the coffee table. “This is awesome.”

Keep reading

Nursemaid

(Jimin’s crush comes over to his house to help him out after he suffers an injury that leaves him with limited use of both hands.)

Warnings: 6000+ words of smut, Jimin POV, I’ll let you guess what kind of smut takes place


“I can’t believe you managed to injure both of your hands on the same day.” Hoseok’s girlfriend, Sophie, stifled a laugh while she said it. “I can’t tell if you are dumb or just unlucky.”

 Jimin sighed.  He had been stupid and drunk when he and Jungkook went out into the street to play with fireworks.  One went off too close to his hand, burning his right palm requiring a trip to the emergency room where his injury was cleaned and bandaged.  The doctor gave him a lecture about drunk people and explosives and how fortunate he was not to have blasted off his fingers.            

While exiting the hospital, Jimin immediately tripped over the curb and landed with his full weight onto his left hand resulting in a small fracture and return trip to the emergency room to get a splint to immobilize his other hand.   Now, every time Jimin saw someone, he had to suffer the embarrassment of explaining what happened. People had a hard time not laughing when they heard how he managed to get hurt twice in one day.

 “Does it hurt much?” you asked him.

“Not really. As long as I don’t bump into anything or use my fingers too much, it’s okay.” At least you seemed to be genuinely concerned about his well-being. That’s one of the reasons Jimin liked you, you always seemed caring and sincere.  The other main reason he liked you was because he thought you were incredibly hot.  There were plenty of nights Jimin stayed up fantasizing about what it would feel like to be with you.  He wanted to ask you out, but had been waiting until there was some indication that you were even the slightest bit interested in him.  He was starting to think that maybe he had a chance with you, but he felt neutered with his injuries, unable to do things like casually touch you and see how you would respond to his advances.  Jimin resolved to make a move as soon as he had full use of his hands again.

Keep reading

Voltron/Avatar AU

Okay, okay, okay, so I know this has been done a million times by now, but I wanted to tackle the idea from my own personal narrative perspective. So, here we go –


 Characters:

 Shiro – Gifted earthbender that was raised inside Ba Sing Se and was being trained as a member of the Dai Li before he was abducted by firebenders and taken prisoner. His abduction was a result of a plan by the Fire Nation to secretly infiltrate the Earth Kingdom and take down its most gifted benders. Before he was realized as being talented and brought in to train for the Dai Li, he lived in the lower ring of the city with Keith, who’d he’d long since adopted as a younger brother. They found out during their youth, however, that Keith was a firebender, which Shiro told Keith had to be kept secret. He encouraged Keith to learn his talents nonetheless, if only for self-defense. After he’s kidnapped, he loses his arm and his tortured, etc, and eventually develops metalbending out of sheer desperation to escape. Metalbending is what allowed him to create and use a metal arm as replacement for the one he lost. He eventually gets away—after learning that the Dai Li has been corrupted and secretly overtaken by firebenders—and goes back to the city to find Keith. But when he returns to Ba Sing Se, he comes home to find that Keith is gone and clearly has been for some time.

 Keith – Firebender. A very good firebender, in fact, but too ashamed of his talents to really do much with them. He grew up with Shiro in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se—basically poor—and grows so distressed when Shiro disappears that he lashes out at the Ba Sing Se law enforcers. His status as a firebender is revealed and he has no choice but to flee the city. He’d planned on leaving anyway to go looking for Shiro, and so it becomes his mission to find his older brother—even if he has to search the entire world. Unbeknownst to Keith, however, he was tossed out of the Fire Nation palace as a baby because he was an unwanted bastard son to the Fire Lord. Also, spoilers, he’s the Avatar as well, but is unaware of the fact due to how subdued he’s been forced to keep his talents his whole life. Lots of drama for Keith, haha. Poor child just wants his brother back. Oh well.  

 Lance – Waterbender from the Northern Water Tribe. Prince, though he’s nowhere near being in line to become chief. Still, there are plenty of responsibilities he has, but he decides to run away in search of adventure instead, wanting—more than anything—to be a hero and stand out, basically. He’s had this plan since he was a child—was his dream to see the world—and so he spent a lot of time not only mastering waterbending, but the spiritual connection and teachings of the Northern Water Tribe, as well as healing despite the fact that, as a male, he wouldn’t normally know how to heal. Though he wasn’t the most gifted waterbender, he spent most of his youth studying and practicing in preparation for his big leap out into the world. As a result of being a healer and having studied the spirits extensively, he’s very knowledgeable, but generally keeps these things to himself (wants to be a lady’s man, not a nerd, basically). He is a bit spoiled nonetheless, and doesn’t have a real realistic idea of what’s going on in the world. He and Keith are both opposites and foils as a result of their upbringing and positions.

 Pidge – Waterbender from the Foggy Swamp Tribe. Her father was an inventor from the Earth Kingdom, however, who found himself studying the energy levels of the swamp area before meeting her mother and promptly falling in love. Her brother and father are earthbenders, while she and her mother are waterbenders. And while she is trained in the techniques of swamp people waterbending, Pidge is far more interested in technology and the things her father studies. Her father and brother make regular trips into the earth kingdom—for research supplies, etc—and eventually end up abducted by the Fire Nation for being meddlers or something. Which inspires Pidge to leave her home in search of them, determined to rescue them much like Keith is aiming to rescue Shiro. She isn’t one to be trifled with, however. While she doesn’t have much interest in bending, she is trained and is more than capable of defending herself, as well as using the plants around her to her advantage. She and Lance practice very different types of waterbending as a result, but this doesn’t come between them or anything. They probably bond over it, actually.  

 Hunk – Earthbender. He’s from a small village to the north that is occupied by the Fire Nation and generally has no interest in getting involved with business outside of it. However, when Lance shows up and causes a ruckus (no doubt by accident), he gets caught up in it and ends up wanted by the fire nation and unable to return home because, if he did, he’d be putting his family in danger (they’re already in danger from the Fire Nation, but Hunk is kind of sheltered and naïve). So he ends up tagging along with Lance, deciding that he’d simply go to the Fire Nation higher ups and explain the misunderstanding, thus clearing his name and allowing him to go home. Obviously, he learns that this isn’t really going to work and that the conflict is much larger than he and Lance really realized. Upon seeing how people are suffering because of the Fire Nation, Hunk vows to do all he can to stop it.

 Allura and Coran – The last two airbenders in the world. They were originally part of a secret society that—after the airbenders were basically destroyed—vowed to find the new avatar (who was murdered during the airbender raids) and return balance to the world. However, the society has basically died out and so Allura and Coran are all that’s left. They’re still going around the world, searching, but to say the mission has kind of become hopeless is a bit of an understatement. Still, they’re determined, convinced that if they can find the Avatar, they can stop the Fire Nation.

Story:

 And so we have our misfit team of heroes whose paths eventually cross. Lance and Hunk come together first, and then probably end up with Pidge as a result of trying to help her (likely when she doesn’t need help), before those three maybe meet Keith in a prison where he’s searching for Shiro (they’re there because Pidge is looking for her family in the same place). Meanwhile, Shiro is hunting for Keith, knowing more about him than he realizes (Shiro knows Keith is the avatar, which is half the reason he was so protective over him. He probably saw him accidentally bend earth or something, but then lied and said he’d done it instead). He meets up with Allura and Coran, and as they have a shared interest in finding the avatar, they team up. Likely the two teams meet up as the finale of season 1 or something, where it’s revealed during a dramatic battle or something that Keith is the avatar before they all make a break for it.

 Hunk and Shiro end up as Keith’s earthbending teachers, Allura is his airbending teacher, and Lance is his waterbending teacher (though neither are happy about it. Pidge doesn’t really have the knowledge to teach waterbending, or so she claims, though she does end up teaching Keith a thing or two as well). Water ends up being the element Keith has the most trouble with, which of course spurs antagonism between him and Lance. And when it’s revealed that Keith is actually a bastard prince from the fire nation, this makes things between him and Allura rather tense as well. While all this is happening, Lotor is around causing trouble like Azula did and we’re getting a more in-depth look at what Fire Lord Zarkon is really aiming to do. Basically he not only wants to take over the world, but the spirit world as well (which Haggar, his right hand lady and spiritual expert, thinks is silly—he should be content with the normal world, obv). Zarkon is looking for the avatar not to kill them, but to somehow remove the spirit of Raava and merge with it himself. This is becoming increasingly more difficult for him to do, however—especially with Keith getting stronger—and so he learns instead (maybe from the owl library that he forced his way into) about Vaatu being imprisoned and decides to instead merge with that spirit. Which is kind of what brings us to the season 2 finale. Probably the main group has split up because they’re fighting and they all get reunited in the end, where Keith tries to fight Zarkon and fails. And it’s Lance, who maybe shows up last, that uses his knowledge of spirits (which has basically been lost to Allura and Coran, despite them being airbenders) to separate Vaatu from Zarkon before a dark avatar can really be created. But as a result, he, Lance, ends up attached to Vaatu. Why? Because he and Keith were painted as foils for a reason, that’s why.

 So basically Lance is all sorts of fucked up now, and is dealing with some pretty dark shit that Keith has to help him with, which kind of allows a friendship to form between them where there previously hadn’t been one. Through a lot of interaction and development between all the characters, they eventually come to understand that Vaatu being attached to a human is similar to having him imprisoned and that, so long as Lance remains uncorrupted, he should be able to function as a second avatar. After all, it’s about balance in the end, dark and light, yin and yang, and so while Keith and Lance seemingly oppose each other, they also complement each other. Thus Lance is the first Dark Avatar, a new avatar that will be reborn along with the original and will need to be trained in how to master the evil inside them or something like that. He gets to learn all the elements too, but probably isn’t a master by the time we reach the end of season 3, unlike Keith. Meanwhile, Zarkon is pissed and is like, fine, I don’t get an avatar spirit, I’ll create my own and he basically uses secrets taught to him by Haggar to harness raw spirit power for his own gain. Now he’s really dangerous and threatens all the worlds with potential destruction. And yeah, all of team avatar(s) have to work together to stop him!

I can’t decide if I should do a more in-depth outline for this or not. Like, one that reflects the importance of all the other characters, not just Lance and Keith, haha! Because, obv, they’re all crucial. I mean, clearly Shiro needs to have a personal connection to Zarkon, maybe even some kind of connection to the spirit world. And, like, I was thinking of trying to incorporate the lions as spirits of some kind too. I dunno–we’ll see XD

Originally posted by planced

poedamerom  asked:

"I work as a florist and every day you walk in , buy one flower and give it to me" AU because yesterday I realised you were one of my favorite stucky writers!

Steve meets Bucky Barnes on Valentine’s Day, because God has a particularly cruel sense of humor.

— —

“You’re charging /how much/ for roses?” the man — later revealed as Bucky Barnes — asks.

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Steve says as an explanation, then sighs as he rings the man up on the cash register. “Don’t worry, your sweetheart will like them anyway.”

The man snorts.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Not for my sweetheart, for my sister. She’s in high school, and this asshole guy’d been leading her on for months, and all we could do was watch while she pined after this little fuck. Meanwhile, this guy’s having her edit his essays, drive him places… You know, the shit that asshole high school guys do when they’re going on a power trip. Anyhow, yesterday he asks out this girl right in front of my sister, asks her if she’s happy for him, which of course she’s not. She gets home, my mom calls me, and we hang out and watch rom coms together, and that’s when we come up with the plan.”

“The plan?” Steve asks, leaning in a little closer.

The guy smiles, almost sheepishly. “Her math teacher is a friend of mine from undergrad, so I call him up. These flowers, a few cards, and a big ol’ box of chocolates are gonna be on her desk.”

“Lemme guess, the asshole sits next to her?”

He grins. “Indeed, he does.”

“She’s in on it, right?”

He nods. “‘Course, it’d be weird if she wasn’t. She’s gonna tell everyone that they’re from her overnight camp boyfriend or something, who has been begging to get back together with her. I dunno, she’s got the whole thing set up, but she promises me that it’s gonna make this jack ass jealous, and that’s the important thing.”

Steve laughs. “Yeah, it is,” he says. “Bet your girlfriend is jealous, too,” Steve asks, and okay. He’s fishing a bit.

The guy raises an eyebrow. “Actually, I’m single right now,” he says. “I’ve got all these grand romantic gestures stored up with no outlet. It’s a real problem.”

“What a problem to have,” Steve says. “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten flowers on Valentine’s Day, in any context. And that’ll be $42.88.”

“Ouch,” the guy says as he inserts his debit card into the chip reader. “I’m Bucky, by the way.”

“Steve,” Steve says, then adds, “but you probably could’ve gathered that from the name tag.”

Bucky chuckles. “Thanks Steve,” he says as he takes his card out and puts it in his wallet.

“No problem,” Steve says, handing the flowers over to Bucky. “And good luck with your grand gesture.”

“Thanks,” he says, taking the flowers. He pauses, and pulls a rose out of the bunch. “Here,” he says, handing it to Steve.

“What?” Steve asks.

Bucky moves it a little closer to Steve. “A flower. Happy Valentine’s Day, Steve.”

“Oh, uh…” Steve says, taking it. “Thanks,” he says, a little lost for words.

“You’re welcome,” Bucky says. “Though it’s not quite a grand romantic gesture.”

Steve shrugs, trying not to blush. “It’s sweet,” he says.

Bucky just smiles and leaves the store.

— —

He comes back in the next day. “One tulip,” he says, bringing a yellow tulip up to the counter.

“Sure thing,” Steve says, then asks, “How’d the gesture go?”

“Perfectly,” Bucky says. “By the end of the day, he was telling her that he regretted everything, and she was telling him that she’s too good for him.”

Steve can’t help but smile. “Good to know, and that’s $4.21.”

Bucky pays with his debit card. “Yeah, gotta focus my energies elsewhere now,” he says.

“Good luck with that,” Steve says, handing him the flower.

“Thanks,” Bucky says, then hands the tulip back to Steve. “Enjoy the flower!” he says, before leaving the store.

Steve stands there, eyebrows furrowed, looking at the flower in his hand. “What?” he mutters to himself.

— —

It keeps happening.

Bucky comes in, he buys a flower — a different one every day — and hands it to Steve. If he doesn’t come in, he orders one online with the direction “give to Steve, please.”

“This is ridiculous,” Steve says after a month.

“I’m supporting a local, independently-run business,” Bucky responds as he hands Steve an amaryllis. “It’s the right thing to do.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve amends, but he takes the flower anyway.

— —

He’s started keeping them in his apartment as a mismatched, ever-changing arrangement. When a flower starts to wilt, he presses one of the petals and keeps it in a little book.

He sort of loves it.

He also sort of loves Bucky, but that’s a different story.

— —

They get to know each other, even though they just talk for a few minutes a day. Bucky is an architect who lives a few blocks away and passes by the flower shop on the way to work. He spends a lot of time with his mom and his sister (his dad isn’t in the picture), and he likes cheesy movies but not cheese — he’s lactose intolerant.

“We have that in common,” Steve says.

“Then it’s a good thing that I’m giving you flowers and not chocolates,” Bucky says as he hands him a peony.

Steve takes it and gives it a sniff. He really does like the smell of peonies. “What’s your endgame here?” Steve asks. “It’s been four months.”

Bucky shrugs, smiling. “Dunno,” he says. “I honestly don’t. I just wanted you to have fun.” He pauses and shoves his hands in his pockets. “If it gets annoying—“

“It’s not,” Steve says, too quickly. “It’s not annoying,” he says.

Bucky looks up, smiling. “Alright then,” he says.

“See you tomorrow?” Steve asks.

Bucky nods. “See you tomorrow.”

— —

When Bucky walks into the shop on Valentine’s Day, his face lights up.

“Steve?” he asks, looking at the flower arrangement in the middle of the shop and the accompanying valentine, made from the dried petals of 365 flowers.

“I thought you could use a gesture,” Steve says. “And a date for tonight?” he adds on, hopeful.

“Are these…?” Bucky asks.

“The flowers, I saved a petal from each one.”

“Oh my God,” Bucky says, looking down and biting his bottom lip. “I’m gonna have to step up my game if we’re gonna start going out,” he says.

“So that’s a yes?” Steve asks.

Bucky nods. “Yeah,” he says. “That’s a yes.”

anonymous asked:

I am also a sucker for your top 10 worldbuilding posts so here's another one: top 10 times the media got some TMI on Victor and Yuuri's relationship (and does it include Victor drunkenly revealing they switch to tabloids and Chris' speech at the wedding about where they've done the nasty?)

The wedding was strictly family and friends only so Chris’ speech never got made public (Yuuri would have died if it did!) but there have been several incidents where the media learned a lot more about Viktor and Yuuri than they ever expected.

Top 10 Times The Media Got Some TMI On Victor and Yuuri’s Relationship:

10) Once - when Yuuri was competing in the Four Continents and Viktor was on the side-lines to cheer him on - during the warm up Yuuri was practicing his quad flip over and over to make sure he got it right while Viktor was doing an interview at the side of the rink and the reporter sort of offhandedly mentioned ‘oh, Katsuki has been doing jumps for a while now and he doesn’t even look tired, I guess it must be true that he has really good stamina’ and Viktor just went really dreamy eyed and said ‘yes’ while completely ignoring the interviewer and gazing at Yuuri. And the reporter and the camera man just ended up looking at each other like ‘should we finish the interview or just let him keep daydreaming about his sex life?’

9) During the season after the end of chapter 14 Viktor’s exhibition skate was the Stay Close To Me duet and afterwards one of the reporters asked Yuuri ‘were you ever concerned about doing the lifts during the routine? Were you sure Nikiforov was going to be able to hold your weight or were you worried he might drop you?’. And Yuuri was just like ‘No, I had faith in him and we already knew he could lift me up pretty easily anyway’ which he probably would have gotten away with if he hadn’t proceeded to go bright red afterwards when he realised what he’d said and everyone who watched it was like ‘we kind of really want to know but at the same time we probably really don’t.’

8) After Viktor finally retired he was doing a joint interview with Yuuri and one of the reporters asked him if he was concerned about maintaining his physical condition now that he wasn’t competing anymore because lots of athletes have a hard time adjusting once they stop such vigorous training regimes. And Viktor was just like, ‘I’m sure it won’t be a problem, I’ll still be getting some pretty intense regular exercise even if I’m not training anymore’ and winked at Yuuri and Yuuri started blushing really badly while all the reporters went into minor meltdowns

7) Once they ended up being caught by reporters a few days after Viktor’s birthday when they were out taking the dogs for a walk and it was mostly fine but one of the reporters asked Yuuri what he had given Viktor as a birthday present and they both went bright red and Yuuri sort of mumbled a hurried and fake sounding answer that probably wasn’t even in English and practically sprinted off. No-one ever found out exactly what Viktor’s ‘present’ was but there was a lot of speculation and the general consensus became that Yuuri Katsuki was probably a lot kinkier than anyone ever expected and Viktor Nikiforov was a very lucky guy.  

6) This one came in a series of tweets from a fan who was in an upmarket hotel bar which basically consisted of, ‘oh my god Viktor Nikiforov is in the same bar as I am what should I do?’ ‘He’s sitting alone do you think I should go and talk to him? Would it be weird to ask for his autograph?’ ‘I wonder why Katsuki isn’t with him, it’s the off season I thought they’d be together’ ‘Oh my god I just noticed he isn’t wearing his ring what does this mean?’ ‘He just started to talk to a guy who sat down next to him and he’s being really flirty oh my god.’ ‘Is Viktor Nikiforov having an affair????’ ‘Help, red alert I’ve just seen Viktor Nikiforov in a bar chatting up some random guy without his ring on what do I do?’ ‘Oh wait a minute the guy he was talking to just turned around and it turns out it was actually Katsuki after all. Panic over.’ ‘Wait a minute Katsuki isn’t wearing his ring either, they can’t have both lost them at the same time can they?’ ‘They’re acting really weirdly though and they’re dressed differently too I’m confused but I don’t want to interrupt’ *several minutes pause* ‘Well something I definitely didn’t expect to happen tonight was finding out that Katsuki and Nikiforov are apparently into role play but you learn something new every day.’

5) After being apart for a long time during the skating season they finally reunited at an airport and it was all very dramatic and Viktor ended up kissing Yuuri really passionately for a really long time. And when they broke away Yuuri was like ‘that reminded me of our first kiss, after the competition in Saitama.’ And Viktor was like ‘I did a lot more than just kiss you then solnyshko’ being all sly and flirty and then they both sort of froze as they realised that A) they were in a very public airport which is not a good place to be heavily flirting even if you have been apart for several months and B ) Several people were not so discreetly filming them. And that was how the world learned exactly when and where Viktor and Yuuri got it on for the first time.

4) During the four continents after they first got together Viktor ended up doing the thing in he did in the anime where he tied Yuuri’s laces and kissed his skates while being there to support him. And at that point their public relationship was still only a few months old so while the reaction was mainly positive there were still some assholes who were salty about the whole thing including one trashy tabloid reporter who cornered Yuuri after his skate who was obviously a die-hard Viktor fan and didn’t like him or their relationship at all. And while Yuuri is usually quiet and shy and likes to keep as much about their relationship private as he can because he doesn’t want the world butting in, he also is absolutely savage when he wants to be and after going through so much to finally get together with Viktor he is not willing to take any shit from anyone. So the reporter was being really bitchy and asking questions like ‘don’t you think it’s a bit degrading to make Viktor Nikiforov get down on his knees for you?’ and Yuuri just really calmly said ‘not really, he likes it too much’, smiled and walked away. The video clip of it happening has several million views.

3) At one point Viktor and Yuuri were on the beach at Hasetsu and Viktor took a picture of Yuuri in his boxers (they had forgotten their swimming stuff but got too hot and went to cool off in the sea) and nothing else while laughing on the beach. And while 99.9% of the comments were all along the lines of ‘goddamn’, ‘please step on me’ and ‘Yuuri Katsuki with his shirt off is a gift to humanity’ there were a couple off assholes who were commenting on the stretch marks on Yuuri’s thighs. Because he was a naturally chubby kid with a lot of puppy fat and went from that to a lean athletic teenager in a very short space of time so he has them although they’re not that noticeable. And Viktor doesn’t usually care when people are rude to him online because there are always a few shitty people out there but it really pisses him off when someone insults Yuuri. So when someone tweeted him like ‘you’re really hot, why do you bother with someone with ugly stretch marks like Katsuki?’ he responds with ‘I love every part of my boyfriend including his marks. I especially like to kiss them every night when his thighs are wrapped round my head.’ which pretty much shut all the haters up there and then. Yuuri hit him with a pillow for it afterwards but he was secretly kind of pleased.

2) The day after one of the major competitions Yuuri was giving an interview and the interviewer asked ‘now that the competition is over has the tiredness set in yet and are you ready to go home or are you still riding high on the adrenaline from last night?’ and Chris, who happened to be walking past at that moment, was just like ‘well he was certainly riding something last night but it wasn’t the adrenaline.’ Yuuri’s expression after he said it became a popular reaction picture for when someone looks like they physically want to die of embarrassment.

1) The incident I mentioned in a previous ask where a tipsy Viktor ends up getting interviewed by a tabloid reporter when his tongue is looser than usual so when she asks ‘are you the top or the bottom in your relationship’ aka the question everyone else wanted to ask but was way too polite and respectful to, he just winked and said ‘why pick just one.’ And that was how the world found out that Viktor and Yuuri switch.

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

watch me talk about shark emojis 🦈

a realistic Friend. looks like it might be a lil distracting in a text but hes doing the best he can. 10/10 a good friend.

hes seen some shit. his eyes are narrowed bc the demons of his past are chasing him. a good blue friend, wise but probably quiet and has a lot of secrets under his fin. 9/10 a wise man.

he is trying his best, too big of lines but its not his fault. his teeth are gone, poor baby. 6/10 this friend needs help.

a stunning lady. a beautiful lady. her dorsal fin is elegantly swept to the side. her mouth is red and stunning. shes beautiful. 9/10 a beautiful lady.

a small friend who wants to make a difference in emojis. very beautiful, strong, but a bit lost in his life. i will guide him. 10/10 a small and compact friend.

this lady has had enough. shes done. shes seen shit. not just scary shit but some Bullshit. shes done and i love her. her teeth are big just like her heart. 8/10 tired but good lady.

did emojipedia really copy and paste a real shark pic but tried to make it look small and blurred for an emoji. why would u do this to this poor friend. he was real but now he’s smalll and trapped. 6/10 free my friend.

this guy will steal ur lunch money. he’ll kick ur sandbox. he’ll fight u. dont mess with this man. 6/10 scary man.

is this friend ok. is he going to attack or is he gasping for breath. help my friend. i worry for him is he alright. 5/10 this friend is sad.

a friendly reminder that no matter how many bad books we read there’ll always be soc a.k.a the true masterpiece of our time which is like a safe blanket for murder babies and you can throw it over your head and pretend you’re on your way to a big heist or smth equally dangerous (but exciting) :’) and while you’re dreaming of $$$kruge$$$ you might also wanna remember that soc has:

- a bi poc character who didn’t dance around the term hgtawm style and pull some lame explanation out of his ass ala ‘it’s complicated’ but he actually said ‘not just girls’ so yeah confirmed bi poc who’s a KNOWN flirt and everybody praises him for it instead of mocking/shunning him honestly what did we do to deserve jesper fahey
- a disabled gang leader who’s literally thE BADDEST BARREL BOSS TO EVER WALK THE STREETS OF KETTERDAM caw caw bitches (he also has severe ptsd, panic attacks, suffers from traumatic flashbacks and experiences nausea and all kinds of ptsd symptoms everytime he (even accidentally) touches someone but does that limit or stop him in any way?? HELL NO MOFOS here comes kaz brekker with his crow cane and he’s about to whoop some ass better beware)
- a beautiful, amazing, talented, showstopping, spectacular, never the same woc who is basically?? everyone’s treasure, heart, love, most cherished person ever, role model, etc. etc. and it’s only right tbh inej ghafa owns my entire heart and i’d gladly give it to her over and over again if that would make her smile. she’s been sold into slavery (mentions/hints of prostitution which only adds to her bravery and strength thank you very much) when she was 14 but she managed to leave the past behind her and remain INCREDIBLY kind and humble despite all the shit she’s been through?? there is no character i adore, respect and love more than inej (okay maybe there is and inej calls her sankta alina b y e)
- a CANONICALLY. FAT. FEMALE CHARACTER WHO’S JUST!!! AMAZING. BREATHTAKING. HEART-STOPPING (literally). a true inspiration to us all who was also held captive when she was younger, trained by the mighty (goddess on earth) zoya nazyalensky, held captive again - this time by a gross ass, fanatic ass fjerdan nazi soldier/leader and lemme tell you she didn’t even lose her appetite. BOI she wasn’t even fazed. she couldn’t find a single fuck to give & she was determined to move on but she was plagued by guilt so she came back to save/help the boy who helped HER so she’s not just a pretty face and she’s so?? badass and smart and funny and fierce and she’s so fucking PROUD of every roll and curve on her body i could actually cry?? nina zenik, an actual muse for young girls/readers. nina zenik, life & wife goals
- a smol (very smol but also kind of a sinnamon roll tbqh? he aspires to be one anyway) angelic boy who comes from a TERRIBLY abusive home bc his father is an actual piece of shit and humiliated him all his life bc wylan couldn’t read. well guess what joke’s on van eck senior bc my boy, my CANONICALLY GAY SON, is smarter than him and his entire sorry lot and he’s gonna take over the world one day, you just wait. also just wants to make things go boom boom POW (usually regarding explosives but also applies to jesper a.k.a THE MOST PERFECT, CARING, WONDERFUL BF EVER)
- a big yellow tulip also known as matthias helvar. so matthias is that boy who helped nina escape the clutches of his scary boss and he’s the actual literal embodiment of the grumpy cat. but!!! he undergoes the biggest character development of all imo bc he manages to change for the better (bit by bit, brick by brick) and let me tell you that’s COMMENDABLE. like listen this is a young man who’s been brainwashed into hating everything nina & the rest of kaz’s merry band of misfits stand for. he’s been taught nothing but hate hate and more hate and he manages to turn his back on those prejudices and he opened up so much and we got to see so much more of him in ck and we learned that he’s super kind and sweet and giving, and he’s so pure and wonderful and amazing. he also loves nina zenik A LOT which is smth i can get behind and relate to 100000%
- last but not least kuwei, who’s not ~an official~ member of kaz’s vip club (pity pity pity) but. he’s a gay poc (asian!!! the same as tamar&tolya from tgt so please don’t whitewash him, it’s unacceptable) who’s sassy but kind of laid back at the same time and his favourite pastime is to just chill in the back and pretend he’s not listening/doesn’t know the lingo but guess what?? boy is like an international spy bc he understands more than he lets on. he also lost his father (which kind of turned him into a living prize bc everybody wanted him for his knowledge & chemistry skills, like he could probably cook up a deadly virus in three minutes if he was feeling inspired that day - which never happened but still. it’s good to have options) and yet never complained about anything and he just let that drama unroll like 👀👂 I HATE DRAMA 🎧🔍📝 overall deserved better

alright! *cracks knuckles* let’s talk about klance! i know all these points have been made in other posts but i’m just irritated and want to make my own post lmfao. i don’t understand people who say keith and lance don’t have any chemistry/potential/”romantic” moments…like…are you watching the same show that i’m watching? you don’t have to like the ship, dude, but there is no denying there’s something going on.

lance, your bi is showing.

do i even need to talk about the, “we are a good team” scene? this was ridiculously gay. holy fuck. tender hand holding. EVEN THE WAY KEITH SAYS LANCE’S NAME IS TENDER. they just sit there holding hands the whole time. they could have let go, either one of them could have let go, dude. keith wasn’t helping lance up. he kneeled down next to him and just…fucking held his hand? those soft smiles? lance doing the “fond eyebrow raise”? gay. and i know the purple lighting is from the galra crystal, but like…wow this whole set up was romantic as hell. seriously, sit back and imagine if one of them were a girl. boom, romantic. everyone would see it. so why is it so hard for some of y’all to see it here? not to mention the fact that we never actually saw the supposed “cradling” (i refuse to believe “I cradled you in my arms!” refers to this hand holding. there has to be more. a full on cradle). that was probably so fucking gay. AND THE EPISODE RIGHT AFTER, WHEN LANCE IS IN THE HEALING POD, KEITH BEING AN IMPATIENT LITTLE FUCK, FULL ON POUTING, TAPPING THE POD BECAUSE ALLURA WON’T LET LANCE OUT OF IT YET. EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID “JUST A FEW MORE TICKS.”

like, this boy can’t even fucking wait a few ticks because he just wants to see lance. there is no way to deny that he wants to see lance, talk to him, probably about their bonding moment. i bet he thinks everything is going to be different between him and lance now. 

he’s also the last one to walk away from the pod. *eye emoji* why did they choose to show that? what was the Point? then, when lance comes out of the healing pod, keith gets this precious little smile on his face. he’s happy to see him. looking forward to talking about feelings and shit, most likely.

but! lance instantly flirts with allura and keith just says, “Classic.” he then proceeds to look salty as fuck with his signature broody arm crossing included. this poor boy. you’re killing him lance, you really are.

not to mention the many other times he has appeared jealous when lance is flirting. (”Jealousy, thy name is Keith.”) i’m not posting screencaps of all those moments because i’m so lazy and like i said, all these points have been made in other posts and i got other shit i’m focusing on. 

here it is, the iconic, “We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!” scene. listen. i honestly can’t even think of a reason why keith would bring this up, unless he has a big fat crush on lance. it just did not fit into the conversation at all. let me type it out for y’all even though you probably don’t need me to. we’ve analyzed this to hell and back already but…

Lance: “Wow. Thanks, everybody. Sounds like the mice did more than you, though.”
Keith: “I punched Sendak!”
Lance: “Yeah, apparently after I emerged from a coma and shot his arm off.”
Keith, looking completely fucking devastated: “We had a bonding moment. I cradled you in my arms!” (his voice CRACKS)

honestly, he looks like he just witnessed his world fall apart around him. #mood

i don’t know about you, but this would not be my reaction unless, like i said, i had a big fat crush on the other person. he looks so betrayed, oh my god. and lance…wow. lance says, “Nooope. Don’t remember, didn’t happen.” now, is it just me or is this totally lance being a little shit about the fact that keith didn’t remember him in the first episode when they’re saving shiro? i bet it is.

alright, now this here, this is my favorite. this screenshot is titled “GAY this is so fucking GAY” in my files because um? their faces? those are very fond and tender expressions. this whole scene was so gay i stg. keith was flirting up a storm with this boy and it was amazing. let’s not forget that the planet lance was on with nyma highkey had the bi flag colors and there was two rainbows in this episode. symbolism, guys. these things mean a lot and are very important in animation. (there’s a lot more symbolism that many people have pointed out, including what i said above but my ass don’t have the time to put them all here)

the flirtation is strong in this one. here’s some more moments (i probably didn’t put them all idk i can’t remember) where keith is either a) flirty or b) looking at lance with that oh so soft expression. he doesn’t really look at any of the other characters like this (definitely not at allura lmfao), at least not that i’ve noticed. correct me if i’m wrong. 

wow keith you’re soooo cool…

a very underappreciated Soft Look.

this whole scene kills me every time, i love everything about it.

PROUD OF LANCE FOR COMING UP WITH A SICK ASS PLAN!

this still haunts me. it haunts all of us. why!!! did!!! he!!! say!!! it!!! like!!! that!!! you can hear the winky face in his voice. the way he says this is equivalent to 100 winky faces. if you don’t think this is blatant flirting, you’re a lost cause.

of course you were. of course. you want his attention. it’s okay, we know, lance.

LOOK AT THAT SMIRK KEITH IS SPORTING!!! anyways, that is the face of someone flirting. i make the same damn face keith makes when i flirt. if one of them were a girl, IT WOULDN’T EVEN BE A QUESTION. IT WOULD BE OBVIOUS FLIRTING AND PEOPLE WOULD SHIP THE HELL OUT OF IT. but no, they’re two boys. dudes bein’ dudes. just guys bein’ bros. wow, what a great bromance.

now, just for shits and giggles, let us compare how keith looks when he’s literally cradling allura in his arms vs. when he’s holding hands with lance.

he deadass looks like this -_- with allura. there’s actually a fucking…slight frown on his face now that i really look at it, oh my god. even when allura removes herself and blushes, he still looks like that. now, wouldn’t you think that, hm…if they wanted it to be known that keith wants to smooch allura, they’d at least put a slight blush on his face to match allura’s or maybe have him appear to be a little flustered? 

he’s gay. i can’t imagine him not being gay. (imo, him being galra is a big metaphor for him being gay. coming to terms with who he is and “coming out” to the other paladins. everything hunk says to him in “The Belly of the Weblum” are common things straight people say to gay people. a lot of people in the fandom seem to agree with this, but maybe we’re all just reaching idk) i just feel like…someone who likes girls would have a different reaction than keith’s when faced with a beautiful girl like princess allura in their arms. yeah, i know, this has already been said. but!!! it’s!!! true!!! all of their “romantic” scenes together were awkward, forced and came right out of nowhere and keith just…had no reaction. compare that to all the faces he’s made at lance. yeah. the difference is ridiculously obvious.

there’s honestly so much more i want to add to this, stuff from the comics and more subtle things (including a screencap of lance’s face in “Escape from Beta Traz” when he’s talking about keith and how he does cool shit. boy had the most fond expression known to man. u know the one), but everything has already been said by someone else. i’ll end it by saying this, again, because i’m really fucking salty: if one of these boys were a girl, there would be ZERO question about the purpose of these interactions. it would all be seen as flirting and romantic. it’s such a common trope. red and blue. fire and ice. they balance each other out. peace the heck out.