Happiest Place On Earth
Hello everybody!! This one shot was written for Lau’s Alternate Universe Funny Quote Challenge! Congrats on reaching 2000 followers @dancingalone21! Make sure you’re following her people… seriously, if you’re not I don’t know what you’re doing with yourself, she’s amazing!!
My Quote was: “And you know what? After we kill it, we can go to Disneyland!” -Sam
AU!Sam x reader: Sam’s a teacher, you’re a dentist, you live a normal Apple pie life!
Word Count: about 1400
Warnings: Shirtless Sam, cheesy fluff, rodent death
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This may or may not be (but definitely is) vaguely based on true events with my husband… enjoy!!
There he was. Your insanely gorgeous, incredibly intelligent, dumbass husband. Crouched like an idiot in nothing but his boxers at the end of the bed, gun in hand. Granted, it only shot BB pellets, but still he looked like a madman, knees bent up under him ready to pounce from his squatting position, like a freaking cat. It reminded you vaguely of when the two of you went bird hunting. His hazel eyes were wide, methodically searching the room.
Oh my god, your room! You’d just returned from a week-long dental convention and had promptly reunited with your husband, Sam, between the sheets before falling asleep naked in his arms. But the scene that greeted you now was not the same as when you first walked in the door. You’d come home to a spotless house- being a high school English teacher, Sam had the summer’s off and always kept a tidy home. But now…It looked like a tornado had ripped your bedroom apart! The drawers of your dresser we’re all pulled out, strung haphazardly across the floor. Your shoes, usually neatly lined inside the closet, had also been flung across the room.
“Honey, WHAT are you doing??” you asked the naked man perched by your feet, propping yourself up against the pillows. His head whipped towards you, his long brown locks flipping him in the face, gun pointed towards the ceiling.
“There’s a mouse,” he deadpanned, turning away from you to continue his search.