and sharknado

  • Sharknado 1: A former surfer who now owns a beach bar teams up with his bartender and some regulars to rescue his family when a tornado passing over the ocean rains sharks on LA
  • Sharknado 2 (the second one): The surfer and his family fight off a second, larger sharknado on a visit to NYC. His wife loses a hand, but saves the day by strapping a chainsaw to her stump.
  • Sharknado 3 (oh hell no): After being honored by the President with the Golden Chainsaw Award, the surfer must stop a massive sharknado from ravaging the Eastern Seaboard, by teaming up with his astronaut dad to shoot it with lasers from space. His wife, who now has a retractable chainsaw built into her prosthetic, gives birth to their third child while inside a shark plummeting to Earth from orbit.
  • Sharknado the Fourth Awakens: It's the future, and science can control the weather. Unfortunately sharknados have evolved past that, and proceed to mutate into bouldernados, lavanados, nuclearnados, and more. The surfer's wife is now a cyborg, courtesy of her mad scientist dad. The climax involves a chainsaw-wielding five-year-old, Niagara Falls, a mech suit, and a blue whale.
  • Sharknado 5 (global swarming): The bartender is now the leader of a cult which discovered a talisman capable of summoning sharknados. The Sidney Opera House is actually a Sharknado Defense System, as are the Great Pyramids of Giza. The surfer and his cyborg wife chase a teleporting sharknado around the world in the hopes of rescuing their son. Pope Fabio gives the surfer a Holy Chainsaw that shoots Divine Lasers.
  • Sharknado 6: Sharknados can allow people to time travel.
Hogwarts Headcanons No One Asked For

Shiro

  • muggle born
    • his parents were very proud of their son
  • the sorting hat didn’t even stutter when it called out hufflepuff
  • has a black cat named Mittens
  • he made the quidditch team as chaser in his 3rd year
  • prefect by 5th year
  • quidditch captain in his 6th year
  • headboy in his 7th year
  • he was reveered as the schools golden boy by the teachers
  • the students knew that he and matt were party/prank central
  • after he graduate he became an auror, but after and unfortunate accident three years later
  • he returned to hogwarts as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher
  • kinda wigged out by the fact he can see the thestrals so he avoids them at all costs

Lance

  • a born slytherin
  • his family are wizards going back for ages
  • ¼ veela
  • he has little grey rat named Sharknado 
    • Lance: people think sharks are all bad. but they’re not. that’s why i’ve subverted the genre with sharknado. if you want vicious go look at dolphins
  • he made the cut as a seeker in his 4th year
  • charming things to shift through the colors of the rainbow is just what he does (after he comes out he starts doing the bi flag)
  • a potions master
  • obsessed with mermaids and the great lake
  • he turned keith’s hair white for a prank and issued a school wide apology for how horrible it was
  • runs a club to advocate against shark culling

Keith, Hunk, Pidge, Allura, and Coran under the read more because this post is long.

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