and shame on me i dont even play these games

anonymous asked:

"You said that you and Davis had played together and that's it."

Little drabble, angsty but sort of what I hope to see happen in season 2, anyway…enjoy!

Originally posted by darlinginmyway

“You said that you and Davis had played together and that’s it.”

He doesn’t sound angry, if anything he sounds confused and maybe a little disappointed. 

She didn’t want to have to talk about this with anyone, let alone with Mike. She had hoped the book was closed on that part of her life and yet here she was, needing to explain, if not defend, her actions. 

Things had been somewhat awkward between them ever since the night at the bar; with her injury and him getting back with Rachel, they’d lost some of their easy back-and-forth. They were still friends, she still called him an old man sometimes and he still treated her like a rookie. But there was a thread of tension whenever they were alone, or if they realized they were standing too close, if the conversation veered into dangerous territory.

Like right now. 

The hairs on the back of her neck stand up and she wishes she didn’t need to have this conversation. 

“Yeah, we dated for a bit,” she avoids looking at him and she’s not sure why. 

He’s still with Rachel, she and Noah had ended things. She was only so good at pretending, it became more and more obvious to both of them that Ginny wasn’t happy. The break up had been amicable, she was grateful. 

She sees his hands fidget at his sides and a seed of annoyance blooms in her chest. Why did it matter?

He clears his throat once.

“I thought you had a rule about players,” his voice is gruff, low. Her eyes snap to his, brow furrowing.

“He’s was an exception I shouldn’t have made,” she shrugs uselessly, still retroactively irritated with herself for not sticking to her rule.

Mike chuckles sarcastically and shakes his head, his hands go to his hips and the small bloom of annoyance grows, she can feel her throat tightening and her hands begin to shake. 

“What, old man?” She asks impatiently.

“No, it’s nothing, Baker, it’s nothing at all,” he’s clearly holding something back and her hands ball into fists. She could easily accept his obvious lie or she could push. The sardonic smile he throws at her makes her crack.

“Out with it, Lawson.” She shifts form foot to foot, crossing her arms to ground herself.

“It’s just – well I think it’s interesting you could make an exception for Davis, but not –,” he cuts himself off and her stomach drops. 

She didn’t think he would go there. Ginny figured he’d call her a hypocrite for breaking her own rule, or stupid for dating a player to begin with. She looks away and takes a breath to calm herself down.

“Yeah, well, he’s the reason I take the rule so seriously now,” he squints at her, like he doesn’t believe what she’s saying; she shrugs again, “fool me once…”

Mike stays tense and silent, assessing her. He nods, taking a breath.

“Shame on me,” he whispers as he passes her, heading to the clubhouse.

Her eyes close for a few moments, she shakes out her limbs and turns to follow him.

They have a game to play. 

anonymous asked:

I feel I am a coward because I'm afraid all the time. It fills me with shame. I look at our soldiers and know i dont even come close to their courage and strength. Is there any way to stop being a coward? Because I dont want to be one anymore.

Courage is not a lack of fear but of continuing on in spite your fears (said someone far more intelligent than be but the truth stands). Being afraid doesn’t make you a coward, it is part of life, everyone feels fear. DO NOT play the compare game, it has never helped anyone and adds on fear, guilt, and shame. You are suffering through things that would crush me, and I suffer from things that would make you run screaming like a cheerleader in a horror flick. We each have burdens to bare, don’t let yours diminish you because others have other burdens. I challenge you and anyone who feels this way to do 1 scary thing a day (note: please be safe, I’m not talking about fighting, dangerous situations, or or confruntations) say hi to the pretty stranger, answer the phone, idk what scares you but try 1 scary thing a day, until that thing isn’t scary any more. Then move onto the next until you are confident in your inner courage.