If You Could See
Pairing: Eggsy x Reader
Request: Hello darling! May I make a request where the reader is very insecure and hates herself, but Eggsy is always there, comforting her and all of that.
Warning: Swearing, self deprecation, self hatred, depressive thoughts, depressive mannerisms
A/N: I’m going to make this as open as possible because I know everyone has insecurities also I’m really sorry this is short
Normally she wasn’t like this. Normally,Y\N could hold it together and pretend she was okay with the way she looked. Normally, she was able to ignore the comments her own brain made up, but today was not a normal day.
All her brain was screaming at her, driving her down further than she had ever gone down this horrible spiral she always felt she had. It had been almost impossible to crawl out of bed, despite the fact that Eggsy was already awake.
Slowly, Y/N dragged herself out of the bed and wandered over to the bathroom. After going about her morning routine, she stared at herself in the mirror as more dark thoughts warped through her mind.
With a sigh, she headed out of the bathroom to crawl back in bed. She didn’t want to deal with anyone today, not even Eggsy. She pulled up her tablet to watch a movie, but she hardly paid attention to it.
She wasn’t sure how many movies she went through or how many hours went by, just staying in bed. She eventually decided to listen to her body screaming at her for food and got up to get something to eat.
The kitchen was empty. It always was when Eggsy went to work. Y/N wandered over to the fridge to see if there was anything she could heat up. There was a plate in the fridge with a small note from Eggsy. Probably from this morning. Y/N grabbed the plate and pulled the note off.
Have a good day, love. I’ll be home early.
Y/N sighed and left the note on the counter before putting the plate of breakfast in the microwave to heat it up. He usually left her breakfast, but even though it usually made her feel good to see the notes he left, right now she just felt worse.
Quietly, she ate the breakfast he had made her despite it being well into the afternoon. It took a little while for her to eat. Feeling this way, she usually avoided eating.
Y/N tossed the half of food she didn’t want to eat and set the plate in the sink. She made her way back towards the bedroom, JB following her up the stairs.
The minutes ticked by into hours to the point that she didn’t even hear Eggsy come home from work. She was laying in bed, sort of dozing off as she watched what felt like the 15th episode of a tv show in which she held no actual interest for. She wasn’t even really paying attention to what was happening.
Eggsy came into the room quietly, pausing when he saw Y/N just laying in bed and staring at the laptop positioned on the bed next to her. He looked down at JB, who was just sitting in his doggy bed watching Eggsy.
“Love?” Eggsy called, pulling at his tie as he sat down beside her. She looked up at him.
“You okay?” He asked. She sat up slowly.
“I’m okay. I'm…” Y/N paused, trailing off.
“You can tell me,” Eggsy encouraged, gently running his hand along her shoulder.
“This is going to sound stupid. Eggsy, how do you look at me?”
“Like you’re the love of my life,” He said, an easy smile on his face.
“No… I mean… do you think I’m even really that pretty?” She asked, looking down at her hands. Eggsy watched her for a little while, staying quiet before he leaned forward to brush her hair behind her ear.
“If you could see yourself as I do, you would know I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known. That my heart stops beating every morning and I see you beside me. Me who used to be a common fucking thug. You’re gorgeous and I don’t know what the fuck I did to ever deserve you,” Eggsy said, his hazel eyes locking onto her eyes.
His fingers traveled up her neck to trace her jaw and then her lips. Y/N swallowed and examined his face to see if he was lying. When she didn’t find anything, she leaned forward and kissed him.
“I love you, Gary.”
“Ugh gross don’t call me Gary,” Eggsy teased, smirk on his face.
“Shut up, Eggsy.”
“Only if you kiss me again,” Eggsy said, smiling at her. Y/N rolled her eyes and kissed him again.
“I love you too, gorgeous.” Y/N sighed against Eggsy once he uttered those words. She was inclined to believe him.