and scream all the way down

anonymous asked:

How would the UT and UF skelebros do foreplay? Or would someone just jump straight to the punchline? Also favourite sex-positions? Sorry for all the questions... I'm nsfw-ask-starved! XD

Undertale Sans: He loves foreplay. A lot. Teasing you before fucking you is his life’s blood, so there’s no way he’s gonna pass that opportunity up. As for how he teases, he usually just goes super slow with making out with you and sometimes lightly slips a hand down, letting his fingers trail lightly against your parts. He takes his sweet time at your expense, and won’t start fucking you till you’re screaming at him.

Undertale Papyrus: He’s not very into foreplay, as he’s way too energetic to take his time and tease. The most he can do is make out for a little while before giving in and fucking you. Sometimes he does go a bit slower than usual if he is feeling like teasing, but like I said, he’s just too energetic to tease.

Underfell Sans: Oh boy. Now he’s the guys that just goes right in, rips off pants, and starts fucking as fast as he can go. He’s a little sex machine, so he’s usually thinking about all sorts of lewd things of you while he’s at work, and once he gets home and sees you… well, he’s just way too riled up as it is to do any foreplay beforehand.

Underfell Papyrus: mmmmm. Mm mm, boy, he goes all out. He ties you up, stripteases, lightly jacks himself off just a little, licking you, anything. Anything to get you to want him like nothing else. He’s secretly really insecure about being in a relationship, so teasing you till you beg is a really big confidence booster for him.

Kyle O’Reilly Relationship Headcanons

A/N: Real quick, I will be accepting requests for these types of headcanons for ONLY Ring of Honor wrestlers (minus Adam Cole because he has enough fics and attention) 

Public:

  • Kyle, is the most awkward boyfriend you’ll ever have.
  • But he is a perfect gentleman.
  • He always holds the door for you and helps you walk after a long night dancing in too high heels.
  • Once, he walked all the way to your guys’ hotel, almost four blocks, and gave you a piggyback ride all the way there.
  • He’s not overly affectionate
  • He loves to hold your hand and kiss your cheek, but that’s about it. Kisses hello and kisses goodbye are the only actual kissing between you.
  • When he’s angry, he will literally not let anyone touch him but you.
  • He’ll literally stomp down the hallways backstage, punching doors, screaming for you.
  • At first you thought it was because he was angry at you, but now you know its because he doesn’t know how to act when he’s angry.
  • You’ll usually need to sit on a chair or the ground and rub his neck and shoulders, kissing his face.
  • Bobby Fish is your shared best friend. 

At Home:

  • Cuddles. 24/7.
  • He likes laying his head in your lap and letting you rub his neck.
  • He loves playing with your hair, even attempting to braid it sometimes. He has come quite a long way, he can actually French braid it now.
  • He LOVES cleaning and cooking, which you’re thankful for.
  • Little do most know, but Kyle has a secret love for blankets, so the whole house is full of them
  • He never EVER wears a shirt (rarely pants too)
  • Kyle is only slightly (he totally is) clumsy. 
  • He has broken multiple bowls, glasses, and plates. 
  • Also, he rarely gets drunk, but when he does, it’s almost always at home. He says he is way too clumsy and rambly to get drunk out in public.

Romance:

  • When he gets jealous, he is like a little sad puppy.
  • He will seem totally normal around people in public, but then at home he gets all emotional and asks you if you still love him.
  • But sometimes, especially if he has been losing a lot, he will get very possessive.
  • He was the first to say “I love you”, although, you’re not sure he totally remembers it seeing as he was falling asleep in your lap.
  • If there is one thing Kyle is, it’s a hopeless romantic.
  • He is the kind of man to buy you flowers and chocolates randomly.
  • He even hears you mention your period coming, he will run for the heating pad and some ice cream.
  • Also, he is the boyfriend that will get you pads and tampons and glare at anyone that tries to make him feel uncomfortable about it.
  • He likes you to lay on him at night, your head on his heart and your stomach on his hips, it makes him feel safe.
  • You guys almost never fight.
  • Kyle sometimes doesn’t know what to do when you guys fight so he goes to Bobby to ask what he should do.
  • Bobby usually just tells him to man up and get you something nice and say sorry. 

Sex/Aftercare:

  • Kyle will take such good care of you.
  • He loves utterly worshiping your body.
  • He prefers kinda vanilla sex, but long sex. 
  • But sometimes, he’ll be rough as hell, usually during his aforementioned angry outbursts.
  • He is very VERY focused on taking his time with you.
  • Kyle really, really likes eating you out.
  • He loves your thighs and is constantly grabbing them during sex. 
  • Hickies on the neck aren’t really his thing, but on your breasts and collar bones? Now that is fair game.
  • Kyle is actually pretty quiet, that scared you the first time you had sex because you didn’t think he enjoyed himself. But he later assured you that he enjoyed it immensely. 
  • He really likes lazy morning sex, with sun in your eyes and messy hair, he just loves your morning voice too.
  • Also, he really loves just talking to you during sex, asking you how you feel and what you did that day.
  • After sex, he really likes just laying with you.
  • Sometimes he’s a little insecure about his body, but that doesn’t stop you from kissing his stomach as much as you can.
{Nightmares}

From @rayne-ing

Mercy would be in her room, all tucked into bed when suddenly she felt a rather odd sensation. She doesn’t remember waking up, but as her body shot up and those tired eyes looked around she’d see that her room was beginning to fill with water. There were no windows or doors to escape or to let the water out. She would be forced to try and find another way out. After several attempts the water neared the ceiling and her air supply would be cut off soon enough. As she took that last breath, her body would plummet from the raised position it was floating in and fall into a pit of dirt, her loved ones all looking down at her. No matter how hard she tried to moved or to scream, she was still…and silent. Dirt began to fill the grave as it piled on top of her, the crushing weight of it all seeming so real. Suddenly she would wake up to an oddly quiet room, the door slowly closing…but no one was there to initiate it.

Fear gripped her heart as the water came.  She flailed her arms about but they felt heavy and limp.  Her windows and doors were gone.  The room was solid.

“No… No please!!  I can’t swim!“

She tried to scream but her lungs filled up too fast.  They burned and ached and she saw darkness playing at the corner of her eyes.  Threatening to consume her…

“No!  No!!  LIGHT NO!!”

As the water neared the ceiling, Mercy’s panic increased.  As the water touched it, it held Mercy there.  She was dizzy and tired and so, so cold.  Her body felt heavy and numb.

Suddenly!  She was dropped into the grave below her.  She tried to take in the air.  Oh! That precious air!  But it wouldn’t come.  She could move her eyes but nothing else.  The worms squirmed in the dirt beside her and she could hear it.  Her arms were pinned to her side and roots began to grow over her legs.  Looking up, she saw Verlai, Larathian, Kaiden, and Wes among many others, looking down at her.  Mourning her as though she were dead.

“I’m not dead!  I’m not!” 

She wanted to scream!  To thrash around what held her down.  She wanted her fire to clear it all away but the magic wouldn’t come.  She was alive!  Alive!!

As the crushing dirt weighed her down and made it feel so final.  The dream ended and Mercy screamed as she sat straight up in her bed.  Her face was sticky with sweat and sleep shirt stuck to her body.   She was in her room.  The one she had claimed for herself in the Raven Hill Inn.  The shadows played along the cobwebs and furniture that still needed taken out. 

The Mage glanced over at the door as it slowly began to close.  She rose and freed herself from the tangle of blankets that had wound their way around her.  She crossed the room quickly to her door looking into the inky blackness of the hallway before stepping out and down the stairs to the inn’s common room. 

“H-hello?”  She called out quietly, but her whole body trembled.  She was alone…at least as far as she knew.  Alone. 

—–

@theblackempirestrikesback

(( @huntress-verlai, @kaidenblackwell, @thewolfintruder - for brief nightmare mentions.))

CbS ch14

(some spoilers I guess? Are any newbies even still following? Is there any point in continuing the spoiler thing?) Anyway:

We had Casskin nominally working together before earlier in this book, but I think this chapter sees the real start of their partnership. It’s interesting to see how they differ in the beginning: 

“How long until they get here?“ He sounded far too matter-of-fact for my frazzled nerves.

"What difference does it make?” I fought to keep from screaming it at him.“We need to find Mircea and hide— fast. It’s the only sensible plan.

Pritkin walked out the stage door and down the steps. I followed him, all the way to the front of the building, where he stopped, looking up and down the frost-covered road. "Humor me,” he said.

“In case you’ve forgotten, the Senate isn’t the only problem,” I told him, low enough that I hoped no passing vamps would take notice. “I can’t let Myra run loose—”

"Then don’t. Deal with the rogue. I will handle this.”

This is typical early days Cassie - her reaction to crises is to hide from them (and to be fair, this has been her best option for pretty much her whole life), while Pritkin’s, on the other hand, is to meet them head on. Compare this with the way Cassie handles problems in later books and Pritkin’s influence becomes pretty clear. 

There’s also this gem:

“Pritkin grinned viciously. "Never be what they expect.”

He ran down the street after the fleeing vampires, whooping and generally making as much noise as possible, and the dark wells of power in my vision began to turn the same way. The vamps didn’t know what was going on, but they’d been looking for a fight, and Pritkin seemed ready to give them one. And he called me insane.”

What a great introduction to who the character is. We’ve seen a lot of the negative side of Pritkin thus far. It’s fun to see the positive now. 

Other fun stuff in this chapter: 

Bram Stoker! I love the way KC weaves vampire lore and historical figures into her stories. 

The incubus who likes Shakespeare - an interesting character, I’ve always thought. I’ve always wondered what happened to him. And he does explain his motivations for helping Cassie protect Mircea at the party, which is good ‘cause I couldn’t remember. 

Another top ten fave quote: “Girlfriend,” I told her, blinking to clear the blood out of my vision, “you so do not want to fuck with me today.”

Also, can we all stop for a moment and appreciate Pritkin’s protective instincts? “Pritkin threw an arm around my waist and took a flying leap off the stage. We landed in the orchestra pit, and because he’d rolled us at the last minute, he took the brunt of the impact.” Cassie is in a vampire’s body, there was absolutely no need for him to roll them, it would even have made sense to let her absorb the shock and yet he didn’t. 

  • me: theres really no way we could get canon macdennis. its just not realistic for them to do that right now, the characters arent ready for something like that
  • rcg, punching me in the throat with openly gay mac and dennis finally talking about his feelings: well first of all through god all things are possible, so jot that down

“We bonded instantly on the film, and laughed our way through the production. Ever since that time, we never referred to each other again as Julie and Mary. Whenever we bumped into each other, people must have thought us nuts…screaming across some shopping aisle in a supermarket or yelling to each other down the corridors of CBS…’Millie! Miss Dorothy!’ She was a joy to work with, her talent was monumental. She was brave, kind, generous and an activist for many causes. I will miss my ‘Miss Dorothy’ so much, but I’m comforted to know that the joy she brought us all will be everpresent in her many films and television shows.” - Statement from Julie Andrews on the death of Mary Tyler Moore

Writing is Hard, Pt. 2: Description

Summary: Dean wants to write a second story.

Read Part 1

Warning: Smut, dirty talk, use of a vibrator, all kinds of fan fiction clichés

Word Count: 4000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


Your laptop is screaming at you from its spot on the motel table.

You ignore it.

It’s not like you’ve been waiting all day to check it. It’s not like you were impatiently stomping around as you folded clothes with Sam and Dean in the laundromat, as they took their sweet time at the grocery, as Dean dragged you to some fucking hardware store because he needed a specific type of wrench (the six identical wrenches he already owns just aren’t enough).

Keep reading

2

so i’ve been thinking about Waluigi and how he’s never appeared in a main Mario title.

And i think the reason it’s so hilarious is all other side characters have a reason for their absence. Daisy is all the way in Sarasaland, Yoshi is probably back at his island. Wario has his business Warioware Inc. to run in some far away city. The rare time Luigi isn’t there he’s probably doing ghost stuff or taking care of the home front.

So what the hell is Waluigi doing?? Its heavily implied he lives in the mushroom kingdom, so where is he when shit goes down? Where is he when the toads are screaming and bowser’s maniacal laughter fills the air all while buildings are getting smashed up?

Is he just like- 

GOT7 ice skating

Mark - whilst filming the others, trips over Jackson who’s just fallen himself. Accidentally wacks Jinyoung in the face with his phone on the way down. Can’t stand back up because he’s laughing too much

Jaebum - swears solidly for the entire session. Refuses all offers of help and insists he’s getting the hang of it. Has to shuffle on his bum back to the rink exit at the end.

Jackson - can actually skate pretty well but still screams the entire time. Forces the others to participate in a conga line. Asks the manager of the rink to play Hard Carry over the speakers.

Jinyoung - spends the entire session alternating between trying to save the others from falling and kicking their feet out from under them. Gets his scarf caught on the rink handrail and nearly strangles himself.

Youngjae - can’t get the hang of pushing his feet on the ice to move forwards. Instead, gets Mark to skate backwards whilst pulling him along. Ends up falling and nearly nailing the other in the crotch with his skate. Is left to fend for himself after that.

Bambam - grips on to the edge of the rink for practically the entire session. Right at the end, feels brave enough to try and skate into the middle. Falls and nearly stabs himself in the face with the blade of his boot.

Yugyeom - immediately gets the hang of it. Skates past Jaebum singing ‘bitch better have my money’. Falls and splits his jeans. Has to wear his scarf as a skirt for the rest of the day.

Whenever Victor gets drunk, Yuuri always has to keep a close eye on him for various reasons (unless Yuuri is also drunk in which case, THERE IS NO PLAN B, JUST DON’T LET IT HAPPEN), one of which being that Victor’s coordination is really bad to the point that every party at Yurio’s house is always the same: Victor and Yuuri show up, Victor gets drunk, Yuuri gets distracted and loses track of Victor, Victor falls down the stairs. Every. Single. Time. In that order. And Victor can’t just fall like a normal person either. Nah, he’s too damn extra for that. He’s gotta grab onto shit and scream in Russian all the way down. It’s loud af and it takes about 30 years because he’s always trying to stop the fall. Then, Yuuri ends up taking him home with an ice pack, a bump on his head, and Yurio shrieking at them about why Victor always has to come and rip down his steps….

Lazytown Christmas

(Yes I know it’s a day late but have it anyways)

> both Sportacus and Robbie are woken up by their five kids tackling them awake, five little voices screaming “it’s Christmas wake up wake up wake up!!!”

> Robbie has to have about nine cups of coffee because it is Way To Early For Him

> the kids love their gifts they’re completely preoccupied with them for most of the morning

> Robbie makes pancakes and bacon

> Sportacus begs him to make blueberry pancakes and because it’s Christmas Robbie (reluctantly) does

> the kids and Sportacus all banded together to get Robbie an actual bed

> he doesn’t even notice at first he just plops down in his usual spot

> when he notices his husband and kids grinning wildly at him he’s all confused

> then he notices and he’s so happy because he doesn’t have to sleep in that chair anymore!!! Yay!!!

> there’s mistletoe everywhere so almost every two seconds Sport and Robbie will kiss

> they go ice scating

> none of the kids, except for Stephanie, can skate all that well but even Stephanie has to do that “step, step, step, glide” thing

> look over at Sportacus and he’s pulling Ziggy in a sled on the ice with one hand, Stingy gripping tightly onto his other hand, and Trixie gripping his pant leg tightly

> Pixel is scooting along the ice on his butt

> “I’m good with computers, NOT balancing acts!!”

> Robbie is skating circles around all of them. Literally. Sometimes backwards. Also sometimes with the occasional spin thrown in.

> they also go sledding

> Pixel and Robbie make ramps out of snow together

> “Robbie! Pixel! Stop that’s dangerous!!”

> It ends up being not dangerous at all and even Sportacus enjoys the ramps

> on the way some SOMEBODY (who’s def. not Trixie) throws a snowball

> it turns into a snow ball fight with teams and everything

> “Robbie you and Pixel can’t be on the same team!”

> “Yeah but you’ve got Trixie!!”

> they all come home with snow in their hair, noses and cheeks red, and big smiles on their faces

> Sport and Robbie help the kids into their pajamas and sit them in front of the fire with blankets and hot cocoa before going to make Christmas dinner

> “Alright kids, dinner is ready. Who’s going to help set the table?”

> *five hands shoot up in the air* “ME!”

> “Stingy stop hoarding all the good china” “But its MINE” “No it’s not!!”

> after dinner they all curl up in Robbie’s new bed

> “You brats aren’t staying here. This is for your bedtime story and that’s IT”

> all seven of them end up falling asleep in the bed anyway with lots of blankets and the fire keeping the whole lair warm

Merry Christmas!

Hard Eyes: Part 5

AN: While it isn’t first thing in the morning it is still fairly early. So here is part 5 of Hard Eyes. There’s only one part left after this!!!! I’ll be holding a poll on twitter to decide what series I should up date next, so make sure to follow me HERE

Prompt: Batmom that was former suicide squad?

Words: 1268

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4


You can’t help but think, that Dick was right. This life is addictive. It’s easy to fall back into. It’s easy to kill and forcefully move people out of your way, when it comes down to it. It’s old hat for you; the bullets flying, the crazy screams, the occasional bit of laughter. Your body moves on it’s own, somehow remembering everything it knew all those years ago.

    It takes everything you have to hold back. You don’t go after major arteries, you go for the tendons, and weak spots. Spots that will ground your  opponents, but not kill them. Then everything is quiet, with the exception of the ringing in your ears. It takes only a minute to snap out of it. Floyd’s hand lands on your shoulder and you’re back.

    “They’re still alive,” Harley complains.

    You look at your friend and shrug, “I’ve gone a bit soft.”

    She sighs, “I heard motherhood does that.”

    You smile before you move forward. You’ve dyed your hair, and donned a mask. There’s no chance of someone recognizing you, and that gives you a certain amount of freedom. You move forward in a group, toward the final door. The only thing standing between you and Thomas Elliott.

    You grip your knives a tighter, until your knuckles turn white, “We do this fast. We neutralize any traps or threats, we grab Elliott, and we make him talk.”

    There’s a murmur of agreement, as Ivy uses her plants to open the doors. Several small explosions go off as you enter. And then you’re met with more hired guns.You fall right back into the pattern.

    It takes no time for you to cut through the weeds, and that’s when you see him. He’s grinning, and staring at you. You have no doubt that he knows exactly who you are despite the disguise.

    You want to rush forward, but you know better. You know better than to give someone like him what he wants. So you stay with you team, right up until he runs. It had taken you all week to get this close to him, and you’re not about to let him go now.

    So ignoring every instinct you have, you chase him. You run him down like a cat after a mouse. It separates you from your team, but you don’t care, the rage is taking over now.

    He leads you through the twists and turns of the tunnels, until he stops in a main chamber. He stares at you with that twisted smile on his face. “Welcome Mrs. Wayne, though I suppose Hell Cat is much more appropriate in these circumstances.”

    You don’t bother responding, as you take a step forward, “Not so fast.” He holds up a device with several buttons, “It’d be a shame if not only your identity was released but that of your family.”

    That makes you stop. “Tell me, do they know that they’re helping get the Batman back on his feet? That they’re helping their number one enemy. Or are they so blinded by their loyalty to you, that they don’t even see that you’re betraying them?”

    The sound of footsteps fill your ears and he let’s out a laugh, “I know let’s ask them.”

    “I don’t think you’re going to like the answer.” You smile at the familiar voice, but you don’t turn to look. Jason’s familiar gloved hand reaches for yours, and a moment later your other children begin stepping out of the shadows.

    You squeeze Jason’s hand once before stepping forward, “Thomas Elliot, AKA Hush, AKA the bastard who betrayed my family. You should have thought twice about that.”

    You can see the nervousness in his eyes now. As he steps nervously to the side, only to be met by the sight of Damian. As your children begin to close in you explain. “I’m not stupid Thomas. It took me next to no time, to realize that it was you who had betrayed us, and thanks to Ed I already knew that you knew who we are. I also realized that I couldn’t rely just on my old team, I needed to rely on my new one as well.”

    “We hacked you, that controller you’re holding is now useless,” Tim states.

    “Our identities will stay secret, thank you very much,” Dick says, taking the controller.

    You can see that he’s nervous now, he’s fidgeting, and his eyes are darting all over the place, “You still need me. For the poison, or I’ll talk. That’s right I’ll tell the entire police precinct who you are!”

    You shake your head, “You don’t realize it do you, Thomas? That day my oldest son came to visit me he put a listening device and a tracker on me. He knew exactly what I was doing and where I was. It also gave him and my other kids a chance to look up exactly where you’ve been and examine your office.”

    Cass’ voice is cold,“We found the poison.”

    “Martian Manhunter has already worked up an antidote, and is removing the other shrapnel as we speak.”

    “Doesn’t mean I won’t talk!! And you all don’t kill!”

    You nod, “You’re right, we don’t. Unlucky for you Amanda Waller does, and you pissed her off by stealing her poison.”

    His eyes go wide right as the bullet takes him out. Your eyes flicker to the high ground, where your brother is lying down, rifle still in hand. You walk up to the body, “Even unluckier for you, I have an over protective brother, who’s a damn good shot.”

    Your children stare at you for a moment, and you open your arms to them. As they encircle you in a hug, you take comfort in your family, and a sense of relief takes over your body. Relief that you hopefully won’t ever have to pick up your blades again.

    You watch your kids disappear into the shadows as the squad comes into the chamber. There’s complaints about you having all the fun, but otherwise there’s no questions about the dead body or the bullet hole that created it.

    You head back to that run-down bar, and have one last drink. As you sip your whiskey you simply say, “I’m done.”

    Floyd nods, “We know.”

    Harley and Ivy both wrap an arm around your shoulders, Harley smiles and says, “Let those news guys get some pictures of you and the baby some time okay. We want to see what she looks like.”

    “That goes for all major events, any future kids, weddings, graduations, the works,” Ivy adds.

    You take a deep breath, “I’ll do my best.”

    Floyd smiles, “Thanks by the way. For setting up that scholarship for my girl, headed to the best high school in the area because of you.”

    You smile, “I’m ashamed to say that was Bruce’s idea.”

    Floyd just smiles, “You got a good guy there. Got good kids too.”

    Harley grins, “Your boys are real lookers.”

    You roll your eyes, “Stay away from my boys AND my girls Harley.”

    She just smirks, and shrugs. Pulling out a couple of large bills you place them on the counter and tell the bar keep, “Make sure their glasses stay full.”

    He just nods, and you down the rest of your whiskey. Without looking back you pick up your bag and make your way out to your car. You climb into the passenger seat, and stare at your brother, before handing over the keys, and simply say, “Don’t destroy my car. It was a birthday present.”

    He just scoffs and says, “Whatever you say Richie Rich.”

BTS as Air Hostesses
  • Jin: *another hostess goes to make an announcement* *pushes her out of the way* "BITCH NO. THIS IS MY PLANE NOW." *applies 50 layers of lip gloss before making announcement*
  • Suga: "Good evening everybody, I would like to announce that... Fuck it. Goodnight." *straps self into an empty seat and sleeps the entire flight*
  • J-Hope: "If you look over to your right you will see the beautiful sun. To your left is a lot of fluffy cute clouds. If you choose to look down below then you will notice that we are flying extREMELY HIGH OMG" *starts panicking and screaming*
  • Rap Monster: "-and I hope you all have a safe, happy flight" *plane crashes* *everyone dies except Rapmon* "Fuck."
  • Jimin: "We have a selection of exotic butters and marmalades but no jams. Sorry. I mean, I have jams. But this plane doesn't."
  • V: "To the little boy in seat 17B playing Pokemon Go even though he is most definitely not allowed to because *ehem* this an airplane and all mobile devices should be on flight mode... what team are you on?"
  • Jungkook: *sneaks into pilot's cockpit* *knocks out pilot and starts flying plane* "Excuse me everybody, but this is your new pilot, Mr Jeon Jungkook, but you can all call me the Golden Pilot. Thank you." *blasts G-Dragon while sipping banana milk like a boss*
the signs as guys cumming

ARIES: loud grunting, not a lot of cum but it shoots far as fuck

TAURUS: deep sighing, low grunts, wants to whisper in your ear as he cums inside you

GEMINI: cums loud as fast, will shoot a load anywhere available, preferably your face

CANCER: silent as humanly possible, may whisper a curse word or two. cum usually drips down their dick

LEO: loud grunting, lots of cursing, cums hard but not that much, wants to nut on your ass or back

VIRGO: cursing ALOT, panting and grunting, will ask where you want them to nut on you

LIBRA: whispering curse words, panting. cums gently spills out their dick

SCORPIO: LOUD grunting, maybe even screaming. will shoot a really thick load in any hole

SAGITTARIUS: cursing and praising God at the same time, not a lot of cum, probably jacked his dick to cum everywhere

CAPRICORN: silent like Cancer, but shoots a thick load all the way across the room, will want you to suck the cum out of their dick

AQUARIUS: Lots of moaning, oohs and ahhs. will probably shoot small load on himself

PISCES: takes a long time to cum, a lot of moaning and cursing. will want to shoot a thick load on your titties and tell you to rub it in.

Devils from the Lake || Jughead J.

18. “Hey calm down, they can’t hurt you anymore.”

Requested by anon.

Song: Foreign Tongues (Acoustic Version) - Dirtcaps, Eleni Drake

Y/N

I couldn’t see anything and my hands were tied.

I couldn’t see anything and I could barely think straight.

I couldn’t see anything and was about to be killed.

My captor was arguing with Jason Blossom, I wanted to cry. Tears were actually running down my face, but I mean the ugly, loud, screaming type of cry, that was the cry I wanted. But my mouth was frozen shut, I was paralyzed.

I couldn’t focus on what was being said between the two, not even if I tried. Panic invaded my body, all the way from my finger tips down to my toes. I was numb.

“Run!” I heard Jason yell at me, pushing me up and towards safety. “Go.” He words finally registered and my legs took off. I yanked the blind fold away from my eyes so I could see after I tripped over a branch.

I ran, ran, and ran.

And then I heard a gunshot, echo throughout the forest.

Jason.

I wanted to turn around, but his words ran through my head, and I continued running.

My head snapped up from my desk as the bell rang, signaling the end of class. I gathered my papers together, shoving them in a book and the book shoved in my bag, traces of panic still in my finger tips.

I walk out of U.S. History, my body numb, and my legs feeling as if they’d give out from underneath me, but I kept walking. I kept walking trying to shake the feeling, live through the pain. Holding my head up high with Jason’s final words echoing throughout my head, reaching every dark, empty corner, and echoing back. Live through the pain.

I live through the pain, because Jason’s not here. He gave up his chance of surviving to get me out of there. Reasons I don’t even know why, I never talked to Jason that much. Hold your head up, live through the pain.

It was hard to do that. The town thought I killed Jason, Cheryl wanted my head, people whispered in my wake.

The panic returned to my finger tips, spreading through my hands and up my arms, slowly taking control of my body. My breaths started to get uneven, it was hard to breathe.

“Freak.”

“You should be dead, not Jason.”

“You’ll be locked up soon.”

“I’m sure she was just jealous of Jason and Polly, that why she killed him.” I caught figments of conversations, the gunshot echoing through my head, along with Jason’s words drove me over the edge.

I started pushing through people, though it didn’t seem to do much, I couldn’t feel my hands, anything. I felt weak and helpless, just like I did on July fourth. I finally broke through the crowd and ran.

I didn’t know where, the tears blurred my vision. I just kept running like I did that afternoon.

“Are you okay?” I heard the voice ask, before I felt the owner holding onto my arms, I’d run into them.

I looked up, finding Jughead Jones standing in front of me.

“I need to get out of here.” I said, the words leaving my mouth before I could stop them. He pulled me out of the hallway into an empty room.

“No, I need to get out of this school,  I’m not safe here.” The panic kicked full in, and I felt like my captor and Jason’s murder was right around the corner. I was full on in hysteria. “They’re going to get me.”

“Hey calm down, they can’t hurt you anymore.” He said, pulling me into his chest.

I finally let out that cry.

My heads were balled up in his shirt, my head buried deep in his chest as I cried. He didn’t say anything but held me and I was greatful for that.

Once my breathing evened out and my sobs stopped, we just stood there, holding onto each other, then I finally spoke.

“Thank you.” I said, still latched onto him.

“Its nothing,” I pulled away from him, looking into his eyes. “Are you better now?”

“Yeah,” I looked down at my feet, holding onto my arm with the opposing hand.

“Hey, what do you say to skipping the rest of the school day, and going to Pop’s? A hamburger and a milkshake from there is always the best cure, in my opinion.” Jughead suggested, I looked up at him again, cracking a smile, laughing a little.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” I agreed.

“Well, lead the way.” He said, extending his arm out to the door, I laughed.

And for the first time since July 4th, I got a sense of normalcy back, and things were good for that moment.


Masterlist || Prompt List

Context: This was a test run for the full campaign just so we could get our bearings, our party initially consists of an undine ranger (me), an ifrit bard, and a oread barbarian.  Our barbarian has managed to terrify a bunch of hobgoblins into a corner by killing one of them by way of swinging him around in the air and chasing them, she killed several with this method.  The ranger is currently hanging by her legs from one of the rafters because the hobgoblins were chasing her.  The bard is eating popcorn and watching.

Barbarian: What do we do now?

*Ranger proceeds to jump down from the rafters and mildly injure herself in the process*

Ranger: Sorry for making you guys angry.

*the hobgoblins are too scared to respond, so the barbarian throws the corpse of the one she was swinging around at them, they all scream*

Ranger: Good job Ninthe (that’s the Oread’s name)

Barbarian: I didn’t know what else to do!

Ranger: Maybe not throw their dead ally at their feet?

*at this moment, the bard puts down her popcorn, walks over to the hobgoblin corpse, and puts her foot on it*

Bard: WE HAVE SLAIN THE MURDERER OF YOUR COMRADES.

*the hobgoblins consider this for a few seconds, then buy it and go for the bard’s popcorn*

Ranger: Oh my god why.

Bard: My popcorn no!

MY GOD IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD TO HAVE OUR BOYS BACK!! I’VE MISSED THEM SO MUCH!!

  • The boys were so loved up and domestic making breakfast and everything!!
  • They actually TALKED ABOUT THEIR WEDDING AND AARON WANTS TO START PLANNING!! HE’S SUCH A ROMANTIC DEEP DOWN!! *screams*
  • Diane FINALLY acknowledgingthat what she said to Robert at Sarah’s grave was out of order and way bellow the belt!! About time!!
  • AARON PLAYING WITH HIS RING!! HOW FREAKING CUTE IS THAT!! 
  • Aaron looked SOOOO bloody GORGEOUS in his white shirt and suit!! HE NEEDS TO WEAR THAT MORE OFTEN!! 
  • CHEEK KISS!! HOW UNBELIEVABLY ADORABLE WAS THAT AND THE BIG SMILE ON ROBERT’S FACE!! JUST KILL ME!!
  • Aaron giving relationship advice!! OMG AARON’S ACTUALLY BECOME THE GUY YOU ASK FOR ADVICE BC HE’S HAPPY AND ABOUT TO GET MARRIED!! I’M CRYING!!
  • Robert looked so freaking FIT even when trying to break the law!! His new hair cut and suit looking SO on point!!
  • THE BACKGROUND PHOTO ON ROBERT’S PHONE IS ONE OF HIM AND AARON!! YOU DON’T GET ANYMORE COUPLEY THAN THAT!!! HE’S SUCH A SOFT LAD!!
  • Robert ripping into Rebecca and telling her how he’s only USED HER ALL ALONG!! SHE’S NOTHING TO HIM!!
  • “I ONLY WANT THE MAN I’M GONNA MARRY.” KILL ME NOW!!
  • Robert coming home feeling low and all he wants IS A CUDDLE FROM HIS FIANCÉ AND TO TELL HIM HE LOVES HIM!!! I’M DEAD!!
  • ROBERT BEING HONEST WITH AARON AND TELLING HIM HE WAS WITH REBECCA BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE THE GUY THAT LIES ALL THE TIME ANYMORE!! ALL BC OF AARON MAKING HIM A BETTER PERSON!!
  • “Everything I need is right here” bc AARON IS EVERYTHING!!
  • ROBERT APPRECIATING AARON IN A SUIT AND GIVING HIM THE ONCE OVER!!!
  • THE BOYS BEING ALL FLIRTY AND BIG GRINS!!
  • “Do you want to take this upstairs?” - AARON’S GRIN WHEN HE SAID IT!! HE JUST WANTED TO HURRY UP TO THEIR BEDROOM AND HAVE SEX WITH HIS HUSBAND-TO-BE!! THESE TWO CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF EACH OTHER!!
Bergen County, New Jersey

Every once in a while, I discover an extraordinarily special place. And by special I mean hideous. Bergen County, New Jersey is that place. This will not be the first, nor the last time this county will show up on this blog, as its houses and I have a long working relationship ahead of us. 

So where to start? I used this house as an example in another post before (can’t remember which one) but I knew from the first time I saw it, that I needed to dive deeper. 

Man, where to start. First of all, the exterior of this house appears to be screaming in two different ways: either the two dormers, or the two “sidelight” windows are the eyes, with the door being the agape mouth. With the absurd windows on the front facade, the silly fake quoins, and the pseudo-Palladian elements scattered all over the place, I have a feeling this place is going to go down in McMansionHell history as a Certified Dank™ Legend.

This house (built in 1988 as we will all soon see) has seven bedrooms and six bathrooms, and is currently retailing for almost 3.5 million dollars.  

By far, my favorite McMansions are the ones that are like time capsules. You open the obnoxiously large front door and step into the obnoxiously large entryway and are instantly transported into another era. 

In this case, that era is 1988. 

Front Entryway

My favorite part about the 80s was how they axed all of the environmental reforms made in the 70s while simultaneously obsessing over having as many house plants as possible. 

Living Room (1 of 2)

At least piano makers are thankful that their art is being funded by those who buy large instruments as symbols of wealth. 

Study

Fake book subjects commonly include: 
- Business
- Law
- Classic Literature

Dining Room (1 of 2)

Seriously I don’t think you guys are prepared for what you’re about to see. 

This has to be one of the best worst vintage 80s rooms I’ve ever seen. 

Dining Room (2 of 2)

Those poor plants, working like slaves for the man. 

The Kitchen! 

Who thought that orange was a remotely good idea?? Spoilers: it was probs HGTV.

Living Room (2 of 2)

Luckily for the homeowner, many elements from this room (the furniture and wall color) are coming back in style again, as dark green is all the rage this year apparently. 

Master Suite (Part 1)

Shocked that the drapes don’t have the same pattern as the wallpaper. 

Master Suite (Part 2)

P sure the hyper-femininity of the 80s and early 90s were what led to the creation of the ManCave during the dawn of the 21st century.

Master Bathroom

This bathroom almost looks like it came out of a Robert A.M. Stern coffee table book from the late 80s. Whoever did this interior was a licensed interior designer. I’m pretty sure those vanities are custom. 

On to the last room of our tour! (Somehow there weren’t pictures of the other 6 bedrooms or the other 5 baths…)

The Basement

Seriously the mirrored door is hella choice. 

Fortunately, our tour ends on a positive note this week, as the rear of this house actually makes some architectural sense:

Rear Exterior

Well folks, I hope you enjoyed that tour as much as I did. I love these time capsule houses - you can learn a lot from studying the design trends of the past; most notably, when they’re coming back. 

Stay tuned for this Sunday’s special post, McMansionHell from A to Z (Part Two) and, of course, next week’s dank McMansion!

Like this post? Want to see more like it and get behind the scenes access to everything McMansionHell? Consider supporting me on Patreon!

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs in this post are from real estate aggregate Zillow.com and are used in this post for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107.

Thoughts on the Signs

Aries : Usually cool and random but also an over achiever / Don’t like doing new things if they aren’t good at them right off the bat

Taurus : Honestly they all need to calm down but they will stick up for others in a heart beat

Gemini : Stop screaming

Cancer : So nice when you meet them but can become rather annoying but it’s funny

Leo : Will either compliment you a lot or expect them a lot 

Virgo : Great listeners / normally a walking ball of anxiety 

Libra : childish most of the time and if they aren’t exactly childish they try to be a rebellious teenager ALWAYS SHARING CRAPPY MEMES

Scorpio : Great friends until you say one thing that upsets them and they turn into literal satan

Sagittarius : smart and easily amused

Capricorn : Either loves hugs or hates them and will encourage you to do your own thing

Aquarius : seems saltier than the dead sea most of the time

Pisces : Control yourself pLeAsE