and ross's face after he says how many times he's been married

★ On the Rocks / Ross Butler ★

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Throwing the folder to the side, you release an agitated groan. Ross had promised you he would be home early tonight. He had assured you that you would both finally move forward with your wedding plans.

You and he both had such full on schedules, so much so that it seemed as though you barely crossed paths with him despite the fact you live together. Today was the first day you had had off in over a month and you just wanted to spend the day relaxing-but you knew you had to try and be productive, so you had got out all of your wedding planners and got stuck right into them. 

With your schedule about to become even busier, as you were going to start the filming for a new show you had recently been casted for-you wanted to get as much done as possible.

By the time Ross arrived home, it was past dinner and you had pushed aside the wedding planners and had put in a movie. 

Pressing pause, you watch as he makes his way into the room. The day had taken a toll on him and you could see he was just as exhausted as you imagined he would be.

Instead of insisting he sit down and start planning your big day like you had wanted him to do, you sigh and rise to your feet. 

Ross meets you gaze and offers you an apologetic smile as you pull him into a hug. “I’ve missed you,” you mumble, burying your face in his chest, having felt as though you hadn’t had a minute to yourselves in a long time. 

He takes a deep breath as he holds you tight, “I’ve missed you too,” he whispers just as quietly. “I’m sorry,” he apologises, “I know I said I’d be here…but the shoot went longer than what I thought it would.”

Pulling back you lift your hand to rest on the side of his face, “It’s okay,” you insist, though the disappointment in your voice could be heard.

“How about I have a quick meal and then we can sit down and run through some ideas?” he suggests.

“I would really love that,” you smile. 

Ross leans down to kiss the top of your head, “I’ll come sit down in a few,” he promises before releasing you from his hold.

You return to your previous seat and instead of resuming your movie, you move the overflowing folders back onto the couch, organising the papers into categories.

The wedding party and the guest list had already been decided, the most difficult decision you were had to make was the date and venue. 

Your wedding had already been pushed off so many times you had lost count. Ross wanted the ceremony to happen as soon as possible, having grown tired of waiting for so long. You on the other hand, wanted the day to be perfectly timed and not just to happen for the sake of it. 

Ross joined you after he had eaten, sitting opposite you he flicks though the small display folder you had made of the venues you liked the look of. “I still want to have the ceremony outside,” you tell him. “There are some really beautiful gardens,” you continue.

“The seasons are changing,” he comments. “The weather’s getting colder and more unpredictable. We would have to wait until next year for spring or summer to return.”

“Is that a problem?” you ask, confusion spreading across your face. “I thought we decided to have a spring wedding anyway.”

“That was months ago when we thought we’d be getting married early this year,” he replies. 

You turn your body so you were facing him, “We had to plan around your filming schedule though,” you remind him. “We had to postpone the wedding.”

Ross places the book down and looks you in the eyes, “What about all the times before that though?”

Your jaw drops slightly, unable to comprehend what he was asking. “What are you trying to say?”

He only shakes his head, “Doesn’t matter.”

You copy his action, your head moving side to side, “No,” you deny, “it does matter.”

Ross sighs, “Do you still want to marry me?”

Scoffing, you cross your arms, “Why would you ask me that?”

“You’re not answering the question.”

“Of course I still want to marry you! Where is this coming from? I love you Ross,” you declare, “nothing has changed.”

“But it has,” he counters. “Everything has changed. We hardly see each other or talk to one another, this is the first time in months we’ve tried to plan for the wedding.”

“Ross,” you interrupt, “when would we have the time to sit down together and do this? You said it yourself, we hardly see each other. But just because our lives are hectic right now, it doesn’t mean I don’t want any of it. I want you, I want to marry you, I want to live my life with you,” you list. “I know we keep pushing off the wedding…but we didn’t have any other choice. This is our careers we’re talking about, we can’t just put all of that on hold.”

“So you’d rather put our life on hold?” Ross asks.

“Where is all of this coming from?” you demand. “Is it you who doesn’t want to get married anymore? Are you just trying to find some excuse-any excuse-to not go through with it?”

Ross rolls his eyes, “Don’t do that,” he says. 

You snort, “Do what? Accuse you of exactly what you are me? If you don’t want to do this anymore, all you had to do was tell me. Actually you know what?” you ask, ignoring his question. “If you don’t want to do this, then we won’t. We’ll just call it off. All of it.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t want to-” his words are cut short, staring up at you as you rise to your feet. You leave the folders behind on the couch as you move away from them. “What are you doing?” Ross questions, he, too, was now standing.

“I’m leaving,” you tell him. You knew you were probably overreacting a little bit, but you couldn’t be around him right now. You just needed some space. 

“Where are you going?” Ross asks, worry lacing his tone.

You take a deep breath, “I’ll probably stay at (Y/F/N)’s.”

He takes a step towards you, “Don’t go,” he begs. “Stay. We’ll talk about this, you’re taking this out of proportion.”

Nodding, you wrap your arms around yourself, “Probably,” you admit. “But I think we need some time apart to think this over, to figure out what we want.”

Not giving him a chance to say anything else, you leave the lounge and make your way to the bedroom to start packing your bag.


Hollywood’s power couple on the rocks?

American heartthrob Ross Butler, 27, and (Y/N) (Y/L/N), (Y/A), seem to be going through “a rough patch” says a source close to the pair. They claim (Y/L/N) moved out of their shared home just over a week ago, “needing some time to just get back on track”. 

Being so caught up in their jobs it’s fair to say the lovebirds haven’t had much time to themselves recently-the last time they were seen out in the streets of LA together being over two months ago now.

With Butler just starting to film the much anticipated second season to the Netflix’s Original series ‘13 Reasons Why’ and (Y/L/N)’s recent signing of a new contract with (network) to star in the upcoming show ‘(S/N)’-we can’t see these two having a clear schedule anytime soon. 

The couple announced their engagement via social media almost two years ago and we haven’t heard much of their big day since. 


Rolling to your side, you unlock your phone for the umpteenth time in the last fifteen minutes. You missed Ross, you hadn’t spoken to him over the past few days-just a few text messages here and there.

You knew you made a mistake leaving the way you did, but you knew it was the right thing to do at the time.

But now it was time to face him, to have the conversation you were dreading. You knew exactly what you wanted, you always have-you just weren’t sure how Ross was feeling right now.

Finally having the courage to dial his number, you wait patiently as the phone rings. He picks up the call within the first few rings, “Hey,” he greets quietly.

“Hey,” you echo.

Neither of you say anything for a while, you just lie there in silence. “When are you coming home?” Ross asks.

“Do you want me home?”

“More than anything,” he insists. “I never wanted you to leave in the first place.”

“I’m sorry.”

He sighs, “Don’t be. I get it. We need to talk though, really talk this time and listen.”

“I know.” 

It was quiet for a few more seconds, “Can you come tonight?”

“I can be home within an hour,” you whisper.

“I’ll see you then.” Just as you were about to hang up, he speaks again. “And (Y/N)?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Closing your eyes, a smile forms on your face, “I love you, too.”

Stay with Me Forever

Summary: Danny hadn’t meant to blurt it out during an episode. But now all of his previous doubts return and he just wants this happy time to last forever. Arin notices. He always does.

Genre: Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doubt about the Future, Comfort

Warnings: none

A/N: How could I not write something about the iconic “stay with me forever, Arin” moment? Soft and cute, because everyone needs more Arin taking care of Danny in their lives. Let me know what you think!


Stay with me forever, Arin.

It had been such an innocent request in Danny’s mind, but when he’d let his tongue get the better of him, he found that it sounded more like a desperate plea. Arin, bless his soul, had more or less laughed it off with a carefree promise, which Danny appreciated.

Ever since that episode, Danny had never forgotten it. Arin acted like it had been a small moment and forgot, but Danny couldn’t, mainly because it was a plea. His worried thoughts had been dredged up from the back of his head, and then his sleep-deprived and sugar-hyped mind had allowed his mouth to blurt out phrases best left unspoken.

He remembered how panicked he’d been the moment the words had left his lips, eyes darting over to the other man, concentrated on his game. If Arin had been surprised, he didn’t show it, just a quirked eyebrow and a “whoa, okay man” and a short discussion on how long Game Gru//mps would last. Then it was over.

But that fear had been present in Danny’s mind since the beginning, and it would stick with him from now on.

It had started as a single, wiggling thought: When will Game Gru//mps end? What will happen when it does?

Then things had started to change. Danny thought he was used to change; he practically encouraged it, after all. Arin and Suzy had gotten married, which he’d been happy about, but then…the honeymoon.

Arin and Suzy had left for a while, and at first, Danny had been very busy with NS//P and other activities to keep him occupied. However, after the first initial days, he’d found himself fiddling with his phone, wanting to text Arin and ask when the next Gru//mp session was.

His life was vastly different without Arin in it, he realized.

So when Arin had returned, Danny had stuck around him like glue the entire day they’d recorded. It was only after spending a lot of time with him and eating three bags of Skittles that Danny relaxed, realizing things were still the same and Arin was back. Game Gru//mps wasn’t going anywhere.

But that thought persisted, and Danny started to fear change, because he honestly didn’t know what he would do if Game Gru//mps ended.

That was bullshit. He knew exactly what he’d do. He’d work more on NS//P and perhaps find other jobs within the music industry. He’d continue his presence on YouTube and the only difference would be that he wouldn’t go to the Gru//mp Space anymore.

The thought of what he’d do wasn’t really what terrified him; it was what would happen with his friends. Namely, a funny animator with a blonde streak in his hair and a laugh that could make anyone smile.

Arin had given him so much. He still remembered the day when Arin had offered the job with astounding clarity. At the time, he’d been so excited to be a part of something so cool and big on YouTube that he hadn’t fully realized how it would change his life.

Game Gru//mps was just the beginning. It grew larger than anyone had hoped for. NS//P took off, too. He made music videos. He traveled. He did live shows. He started another band–Star//bomb. So many blessings had been dumped into his lap that it was honestly dizzying.

And he had Arin to thank for it all.

He knew he’d thanked Arin before, countless times, but Arin always shrugged it off. He wasn’t a boastful guy and would remind Danny that he’d worked hard, too; it wasn’t just Arin’s influence.

Danny now came to the stark worry: What about when it ended?

All good things must come to an end, as they say. Danny didn’t want it to ever end. He wanted to sit on that gross couch and make silly jokes and play stupid games with Arin his whole life. He wanted to be a senile old man in his eighties screeching at newfangled technology with Arin wheezing beside him. He wanted the Gru//mp Space to never be torn down. He cherished those days in the office, laughing along with Arin, Suzy, Ross, Barry…just, everyone.

These were the thoughts swirling through his mind when he blurted out that wish. He knew Arin hadn’t thought much of it, but it really was something he longed for. He wondered about Arin’s plans for Gru//mps and what it would mean for him.

Okay, he’ll be honest with himself: he doesn’t want to lose the bond he’s formed with Arin.

His other friends, too, of course, but there was something special about Gru//mps. It was the titular show on the channel. It was a time when he and Arin could just sit and laugh and be dumb and happy.

He should’ve known Arin would notice his preoccupation. Arin always noticed when he wasn’t his usual self, and he’d been preoccupied for the last few days. It was only a matter of time.

“Dan.”

He looked up meekly at the younger man, who had his hands on his hips and a determined gaze. Danny cracked a small smile; it was so rare to see Arin look so serious. “Yeah?”

Arin sat beside him, sighing, running his fingers through his hair. “Look, dude, you don’t have to tell me, I’m not forcing you to…but if something’s bothering you, man, I’d do anything to help.”

Danny’s heart melted, and he moved his foot forward to bump Arin’s leg slightly. Arin looked up at him, and Danny thought he might just die from the troubled, sad look in his best friend’s eyes.

He scooted forward, biting his lip. “It’s…um, hard to explain.”

Arin blinked, as if he hadn’t expected Danny to actually tell him, but then knit his brows together and shifted slightly to face him. “Yeah?”

It was a soft reply, a patient one, and Danny could already feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He’d always been sensitive, and seeing Arin care so much made his chest fell fuzzy and his face glow and his eyes wet.

“Um…” he struggled, but Arin’s face was patient, giving him all the time he needed. He took a deep breath and tried again. “It’s the future.”

Arin nodded.

“Like…I’m scared of the future,” Danny mumbled, twiddling his thumbs. “I…don’t want Game Gru//mps to go away, I…I don’t want you to go away…”

Arin placed a hand on Danny’s knee. “Dan.”

One gentle, lovingly spoken word from Arin was all it took for the dam behind Danny’s eyes to break, and dammit, he could feel the tears leaking and running down his face. His face stung and he furiously wiped at the traitorous tears with his sleeve. “Sorry, sorry, I don’t…”

Arin wrapped him into a big hug, not even saying anything, and Danny finally let himself cry. It was easier since Arin couldn’t see his face. He clutched his best friend’s shirt in his fists and buried his face into Arin’s shoulder. He could see stains already forming on the pink shirt, but neither him nor Arin gave a damn.

The younger man patted his back gently, soothing his shaking frame and whispering nonsensical phrases of comfort. Danny thanked the good Lord above that the room was soundproof. He really didn’t want anyone else to see him like this.

After feeling drained of tears, Danny kept his face hidden in Arin’s side, not wanting to let go. Eventually, though, Arin tugged him up so he was facing the other man.

Arin’s eyes were softer than Danny had ever seen them, warm and full of affection. “Danny,” he said gently, “Game Gru//mps isn’t stopping anytime soon. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. Even if I were, d’you really think you’d get away from me that easy?”

Danny let out a half-laugh, half-sob as he tried to clean himself up. “I-I know, it’s stupid, I just–”

“It’s not stupid,” Arin said so vehemently that Danny paused. “It’s not stupid, because it just means you cherish your friends.” Arin’s form relaxed a bit as he continued. “But you don’t need to worry, Dan. We’ll all be friends for the rest of our lives. And hey, even if Gru//mps ends, like, thirty years from now, we’ll still be best buds, won’t we? We’ll take long road trips wherever the hell we feel like it, we’ll go to Wendy’s and complain about everything, we’ll even sit on the couch at one of our homes and you can watch me lose my shit to a video game.”

Danny laughed, finally, mostly because of Arin’s goofy grin.

“We’ll be as close as we are now. Right?” Arin peered at him, smiling.

“Yeah,” the word got caught in Danny’s throat. He felt so lucky, so happy, to have this man be his friend and assuage his fears more quickly than he thought possible. Arin somehow always knew what to say.

“So…cheer up, man. Let’s enjoy the time we have with Game Gru//mps, because it ain’t stopping anytime soon. I promise.”

Arin handed Danny a box of tissues and he started mopping up his face. He felt at peace now, serene, as though his worries had never existed.

“Thank you,” Danny said softly as he wiped his eyes. “I don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like you, Arin.”

Arin laughed and bumped Danny’s shoulder playfully. “Hey man, I’ve got a request for you, since I’m such a good friend and all.”

Danny peeked at him from behind his tissue, curious. “What’s that?”

“Will you stay with me forever?”

He knew Arin was just being sappy for his benefit, but his smile was more genuine than ever when he answered immediately. “Even longer, Big Cat.”

Quick introduction to my favorite, ridiculous, super #extra OC, Aaron Finch-Dursley. 

  • Aaron Finch is the Muggle older brother of Justin Finch-Fletchley. 
  • The brothers were really close as kids, though Aaron is two years older. Their parents divorced when the boys were six and four, and their mother was remarried by the next year. Their stepdad Alan Fletchley is a better dad than their own, so much so that he offers his last name to both boys to make it official. Justin, remembering less of their biological dad, adds it to his name. Aaron chooses not to, but still loves him as much as he loves their mom. 
  • Had Aaron attended Hogwarts, he would have been Sorted Hufflepuff before the hat even settled on his head. He’s kind, patient, and fair enough to rival Helga herself. 
  • It takes hard work and patience for Justin to be able to explain everything he experiences at Hogwarts and in the Wizarding World, but he is true, loyal, and unafraid of the toil of writing out long, detailed letters. It’s harder than one might think to contextualize everything about Hogwarts, to convey the scale of the moving staircases, the history and mentality of the House Elves, Dumbledore’s omniscience, the Transfiguration coursework. Understanding it all is hard sometimes even for Justin, who lives it every day, but all the same, it just doesn’t seem fair to keep Aaron out. The only time Aaron ever sees Hogwarts is during Justin’s second year, when the family is allowed to visit him in the hospital wing after he’d been Petrified. 
  • That’s when he suddenly gets it - understands why Justin loves this world so much, and is able to get a clearer picture in his head of what the life of a wizard is even like. 
  • He has a pretty normal Muggle upbringing, though admittedly he does spend it at Eton. He has a close-knit group of friends that he grows up with, and gets on with nearly everyone around him. He never focuses too much on the coursework, it seems secondary anyway. He befriends the friendless, protects the helpless, and somehow seems to remain on good terms with everyone. 
  • When he comes out as gay when he’s sixteen, not one person is surprised, but everyone is as accepting as he could have asked them to be. He takes to dating wizarding boys off from Hogwarts for the summers. Eaton is such a dreadfully small dating pool. 
  • When Justin comes back from his sixth year at Hogwarts, saying that he won’t be able to return the next year because of highly anti-muggleborn sentiments, Aaron is secretly - shamefully - a little bit relieved. It’s gotten more and more dangerous each year, and if the newspaper is to be believed, the ensuing year in full out war would be even worse. 
  • When a letter from a Muggleborn friend of Justin’s warns that members of Dumbledore’s Army are going to be hunted down more viciously than other Muggleborns, Justin decides to move to America rather than go into hiding. He has some friends help him put wards over their family home to keep their parents safe. 
  • Since he’s taking a gap year anyway, Aaron tags along. They get a flat in Boston with a couple of roommates - a set of American twins, one witch and one Muggle - and learn the Muggle and Wizarding area surrounding. 
  • Aaron enrolls in some classes, and does some volunteer work to figure out what he wants to do with the the rest of his life - and ends up settling on an education major. He’s always liked school and thinks sixth form might be ideal to teach - he’ll be able to do some good with kids that age, he decides. 
  • He decides to take his actual credits when they get home. Justin seems to think that the tension is going to break any week now, and he can give his all in the final battle and then return back to normal life and Hogwarts like he never left it. 
  • Eventually, he gets a letter from the Muggleborn kid he was Petrified with - Colin - saying that it’s going to happen in a matter of days. They return home, and Justin goes to fight. Aaron and his mother stay the entire night in the Three Broomsticks, under the care of Madame Rosmerta, with some other Muggles whose loved ones are in danger. It’s the worst night of either of their lives. 
  • But then the war is over, and Justin returns to Hogwarts - to the anxiety of the whole family. Aaron enrolls in university to work towards his teaching degree. Life settles back into what it used to be, even though he still feels stuck in an odd position on the fringes of wizarding society. 
  • One day, during a summer that feels particularly fortuitous with its Muggle and Muggleborn-friendly legislature and new Ministry programs, Justin drags Aaron to a shop in Diagon Alley. 
  • Aaron is a little overwhelmed by all the overt wizardingness of it all. He feels a little like he’s missing pieces he should know in order to exist comfortably in this spaces. “God,” he says to Justin, after nearly knocking over a display. “They shouldn’t let Muggles in here.” 
  • A low slow voice from behind him says, “You wanna say that again?” 
  • He turns. The guy is cute, smiling a little, and wearing a smock that matches the logo on the outside of the store.
  • Aaron backpedals frantically. “No no no, I mean - I’m not, I was being - I’m a Muggle.” 
  • The guy grins. “Yeah, I know. Me too. I heard you ask how many Knuts to a pound.” 
  • “And I suppose you know? Justin is bloody useless and couldn’t tell me.” 
  • “God, no. I wish we were using pounds. I promise I know less than your boyfriend does,” the guy says, a question in his voice. 
  • “My brother, actually,” Aaron corrects with a smile. 
  • “I’m, uh, Dudley.” 
  • “Aaron.” 
  • They learn each other slowly. Dudley is hesitant to show the parts of himself he’d been hiding since the beginning of the war, hesitant to open up about his past, hesitant to let himself be loved. Aaron, though, is patient. And loyal, when he learns the truth. 
  • They adapt to the two worlds together, living mostly Muggle, although Aaron does help Dudley reconnect with Harry after a few years. It’s rocky, but the fact that Ginny and Aaron become fast friends - and both really want their respective partners to have peace - really helps. 
  • Aaron finishes his degree, and lands a teaching position in a suburb of London. He enjoys his job teaching history and government, and tries to teach his students to view the world with fairness and patience. 
  • Dudley gets a data entry job at a firm partnered with Grunnings. 
  • They rent a little house together, with a garden for Dudley and a huge kitchen for Aaron. Justin, still healing and helping his friends heal, is in and out of their guest room for a number of years, still trying to get back on his wizarding feet and figure out where he fits in the new order of things. When he finally gets a job and his own appartment, Dudley helps Aaron throw a housewarming party for him and some old school friends. 
  • Aaron does most of the household chores, and most of the cooking - some of Dudley’s leftover spoiled child habits spill over into his adult life, after all - but he’s okay with it. It makes him feel in control of his life, quiet and safe and secure. 
  • They have their issues, of course: Dudley has food issues that never quite dissipate, and lots of leftover guilt from his childhood. He has some sort of crisis about every other week about whether he deserves this or that good thing. His testy relationship with his parents and his cousins cause unnecessary tension in their lives. Aaron has unrealistic expectations - he thinks life is beautiful and is very comfortable with his place in it, and gets a little uncomfortable when that belief is shaken. He takes on the problems of his friends and family, too, and doesn’t notice the amount of stress he puts on himself that way until it culminates in him blowing up. They work through these things, though, and they’re happy. 
  • Dudley proposes on the spot one night in their living when Aaron mentions wanting kids during a football match commercial. He hadn’t had a ring or a plan, but it worked out fine. Aaron said yes, and within a year, they were married in a little civil partnership ceremony in the Fletchley’s back garden. Petunia Dursley cried through the whole thing, Vernon Dursley harrumphed uncomfortably at their kiss, but Harry (and his friend Hermione, since Ginny was on off flying for her team) wished them well. As a joke, Aaron throws a bouquet off one of the tables. Justin’s friend Hannah catches it, and her date’s face turns crimson, making Aaron smile proudly.
  • Their surrogate, Jessica, is a dream, and Aaron’s life changes forever the first time he holds little Myna Jean Dursley in his arms. He cannot imagine, in that moment, ever doing anything besides that, besides holding his daughter and watching her breathe. The feeling isn’t any less strong a year and a half later when he holds Rhea for the first time, although he’s wiser now, and knows the road he has ahead of him. 
  • Fatherhood suits him quite nicely, him and Dudley both, and their little family is just about as happy as can be. 

There more to him, of course, and I’m probably going to start mentioning him on this blog fairly regularly, but I’ll link back to this post so people don’t think they’ve forgotten about a canon character, haha. If you’re wondering about a visual, Ross Marquand is a great face-cast. 

This Wallpaper Is Dreadful, One of Us Will Have to Go

Paring: Bruce Banner/Reader

Tags: female reader, university/college AU, university professors, plants, fluff.

Summary: Reader is a temp at the local university. Dr. Banner is a professor, and at first sight, he can’t help but fall, and fall hard for you.

Word Count: 1,563

Posting Date:  2016-12-25

Current Date: 2017-05-31


Originally posted by whadewilson


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FIVE ROLES OF RUFUS SEWELL

Many are those who discovered (or rediscovered) Rufus Sewell in ITV’s hit historical drama Victoria as Lord Melbourne, the Queen’s Prime Minister.

Today I want to talk about five roles in which I admired Rufus’s work, and the reason I chose these five specific roles is that they are completely opposed from one another.

Petrucchio in The Taming of The Shrew: In this segment of multiple revisits of Shakespeare classics by the BBC, Rufus Sewell plays the role of Petrucchio, an extravagant character who somehow falls in love with a (too) strong-tempered MP, Katherine…who is going to accept to marry him. The thing is, Petrucchio has a thing for wearing women’s clothing and dared showing up at his own wedding wearing a skirt, heels and makeup. The film is rather short but filled with comedy and portrays in a very unique way marriage and how two people who really love each other will not compromise their true persona in order to please the other. However, Katherine’s marriage to Pettruchio does in fact « tame » her a bit.


Aurelio Zen in Zen: In this three-part BBC adaptation of the novel written by Michael Dibdin, Rufus is a talented Italian detective full of principles investigating the most dangerous cases in Italy. At first glance, we think of him as this accomplished man in his thirties full of poise who has everything to be happy, when in fact, he still lives with his mother and has a disastrous personal life going through a divorce after his wife cheated on him. That is until he meets and falls in love with Tania Moretti, a fresh face at work. Despite the Italian criminal landscape filled with violence and ruthlessness, Aurelio Zen remains pretty pacifist, only using his talents as a communicator to solve cases, a trait that makes him even more endearing and respectable. 


John Smith in The Man In The High Castle: In this Amazon series, Rufus portrays the powerful role of John Smith (Obbergruppenführer). The character has everything to be antagonistic at first glance - He is a Nazi leader operating in the name of Hitler within the established Reich in New York City. However, as the episodes and the story progress, the character is painted as more layered: we see the man beneath the uniform who in fact, is an ordinary man, blessed with a loving wife, children and a beautiful house. That is until his son is diagnosed with an incurable disease. At the time, such a diagnosis would have been subject to euthanasia. Having recently binge-watched the new season which got released on Amazon last December, I was not disappointed at all. Seeing more of John Smith’s personal life and the great lengths he went to in order to protect his family and himself was an emotional whirlwind. Not to spoil those who are not caught up yet, let’s just say that it seems like the third season will take the Smiths down to another spiral.


Ross in Uncorked (At Sachem Farm): In this little indie movie, Rufus is Ross, an aspiring musician who feels like his family should be priority over his ambitions, leading him (and us)  to reflect on what is actually important. It conveys a positive and moving message on how happiness solely depends on you and your priorities. Should you embrace your dreams and live to the fullest or stay stuck in the past and be focused on things you have no control over?


Will Ladislaw in Middlemarch: In this early BBC adaptation of George Eliot’s Middlemarch, Rufus plays Will Ladislaw, a brilliant and passionate creative young spirit, willing to fight for what is right. He eventually falls in love with a woman supposedly out of his league, Dorothea Casaubon. However, they challenge each other and reveal themselves quite similar to one another.

Were I to choose a favorite out of these five roles, I would go for Ross, simply for how relatable and realistic the character and the story are.

Rufus Sewell is currently performing at the Old Vic Theatre in London as Serge in the play Art, which I am quite excited to see soon before it closes.

Star Trek: DS9 Notes - S7, Vol. 1

BACK IN IT, TO WIN IT: Deep Space Nine Season 7!!!!!

7x01 ‘Image in the Sand’
- Majel Barrett’s voice, omg, I’m home
- COLONEL. Colonel Anastasia Komananov. naahh I’m just teasing — COLONEL KIRA :D

new hair too

- Kira: “I remember when the cult of the Pah-Wraiths used to be a joke. Now those red armbands are appearing all over Bajor. It’s like everyone’s gone crazy.”
  Odo: “A lot of people feel abandoned by the Prophets.”
  Kira: “Believe me I know how they feel. But that’s no excuse to turn to hate and fear.”
  anyway it’s 2017 in America and I’m struck
- whattup I missed Miles and Julian like my own friends
- life’s ambition tbh: serving on a starship alongside Career NCO Chief O’Brien
- turns out Ben can play the piano, and it very figures. he’s currently trying to jazz out his feelings.
- I love this show like a childhood I didn’t have. how is this like, retrograde formative. I’m emosh.
- Admiral Ross: “You still think he’s coming back?”
  Kira: “Don’t you?”
  Admiral Ross: “—I’ll be in touch.” ho hoho
- Deep Space Nine is straightforward but not simple. maybe that’s the phrase I’ve been trying to put my finger on for months. because I love a lot of…kinda ornate shows? with a lot of heady stuff going on, all sorts of stylistic experimentation, blah blah blah, and Star Trek…isn’t that. but it’s STRONG. the themes and emotional resonance might be purer for being uncluttered.

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Every Avenger has suffered

Steve Rogers never knew his father (a WWI casualty), grew up in poverty, was severely ill/often bedridden & weak for the first 24 yrs of his life. He lost his mother to TB when he was a young man. He was beaten often by other kids/youth/men and rejected as physically unfit to serve in war.  He volunteered for an experimental super soldier program involving agonizing physical changes, & served hazardous duty for 18 mos and saw his childhood friend die. After defeating Red Skull and crashing a plane of bombs into Arctic ice, he woke 67 yrs later. Everyone and everything he knew was gone or aged. His ‘girl’ had moved on, married & had kids, and was elderly and in early stages of dementia. He faced an alien army just weeks after waking, discovered Hydra thrived while he was frozen, fought Winter Soldier even after realizing it was his supposedly-dead best friend, and lost his first love the same day the Accords were decreed to the Avengers.

Tony Stark was the victim of emotional abuse and neglect by his (likely-alcoholic, uncertain in MCU/definite in comics) father.  His genius caused him to have ill-fitting socialization in childhood. He lost his parents when he was still young and later learned (in graphic detail) that they’d been murdered by Hydra, using the Winter Soldier. He was betrayed by friend/father figure Obadiah Stane, all-but mortally wounded by a Stark weapon, captured and tortured by Ten Rings members in Afghanistan, discovered his weapons were being used by terrorists against innocents, was hunted by Ivan Vanko, almost died of blood poisoning fr. his arc reactor, was traumatized by his near-death experience at end of the Battle of NY/Chitauri invasion, and attacked by Killian & AIM operatives. He suffered panic attacks, was mind-assaulted by Wanda Maximoff, and felt traumatized by innocent collateral deaths resulting from Ultron and other Avenger battles. 

Natasha Romanov/Black Widow was put in training as a young child to be a merciless assassin. She lived a dark life for decades. After she’d committed terrible murders, she tried to make up for them by defecting to SHIELD and becoming an Avenger. SHIELD turned out to be infiltrated by evil like that she fled.

Clint Barton/Hawkeye was brainwashed by Loki (sceptre) and forced to kill fellow SHIELD agents & enable Loki’s Chitauri army to invade Earth.  In comics, he was an orphan raised in a carnival whose brother tried to murder him.  

Depending on the history they decide on in the MCU, Bruce Banner was probably abused by his alcoholic father (like in the comics). Trying to save someone else, he was exposed to excessive Gamma radiation and became Hulk.  He accidentally injured his long-time love, Betty Ross.  He became a hunted fugitive as Thaddeus Ross lead government forces to hunt him in hopes of dissecting him so the US could have more Hulk soldiers.  He lost his life, work, love, the ability to have kids, and his place in society. He has admitted to attempting suicide and discovering it impossible.

Thor was raised by Odin- a terrible father, harsh and neglectful.  In the MCU, Odin pit his two boys against each other from a young age and lied to Loki repeatedly. Odin took Thor’s powers and banished him to Earth to learn humility. Thor believed his brother Loki dead after he fell from the Rainbow Bridge and again after fighting the Dark Elves/Malekith.  Thor’s mother, Frigga, was murdered by Malekith & Kursed while Thor was just close enough to see but not able to help her.

Sam Wilson/Falcon watched his friend/wingman fall from the sky to his death during war, after completing many dangerous and notable ops.  Sam chose to retire and serve with the VA, counseling victims of PTSD.

Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch lost her parents to a bombing when she was young, in war-torn Sokovia.  She and her brother were trapped with an unexploded Stark bomb for two days, expecting death with every movement.  The twins submitted themselves for Hydra experimentation,via Loki’s scepter/the mind stone, and were the only subjects to survive.  After they realized Ultron meant to destroy humanity, the twins joined the Avengers.  Pietro died during the battle.  Sokovia, was devastated by Ultron’s attempt to destroy Earth. Wanda stopped Crossbones from killing Steve Rogers in Lagos, but lost control of the explosion and suffered guilt for that collateral damage.

James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes/War Machine has not been given much back story, other than being Tony’s best friend for decades.  He was paralyzed from a powerless free fall during the Avengers’ battle in Leipzig.

Vision.  The exception. Not much suffering yet.  I guess Wanda hurt his feelings when she zapped him into the ground when he was keeping her confined to base.  And he probably feels guilty about what happened to Rhodey, but the MCU doesn’t know how to use him yet.  He’s bound to lose that Infinity stone in his head soon, though.


So, please don’t say that any one Avenger has suffered so much more than the others or talk as though only one of them suffers PTSD.  When I read TeamTony/TeamCap arguments, I sometimes wonder if people have seen any of the movies about the person they argue against.

Scenes Aboard the U.S.S. Justice

Harvey closes situations, Donna knows everything, Jessica rules the roost, and Mike breaks all the rules. It’s all the same, but with one tiny twist– they’re in space.

Relationships: Gen
Word count: ~2.6K

Written for @suits100, prompt 40: “Outer Space!AU– The cast of Suits as the crew on an international/intergalactic space station at the outskirts of the known universe.”

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Ross Engaged Imagine - Trust

You showed up at the house teary eyed, and low spirited. Ross, and you had just gone through another one of your fights. You’d been having a lot of those lately, they seemed to get worse one after another. Each one came with a new painful scar on your relationship. Rydel opened up the front door. When she saw the same expression on your face she’d seen many times over these past few weeks, she knew what was up.
“Honey, come here.” She invited you into her opened arms. You nodded as Rydel grasped you in a secure hug. That’s when you finally let it all out. The sobs you tried to hold in all came pouring out onto Rydel’s shoulder. After your rush of emotion was over, you picked your head up, and stepped a foot back. You were still sniffling. “Come in, we can talk about if you want.” You followed Rydel into the house, and sat down on their white living room couch.
“I’m so stupid.” You mumbled.
“You’re not stupid! Now what happened?” Your memory jogged back about an hour ago to when you, and Ross were fighting in your apartment.
“What’s wrong babe?” Ross asked wrapping his hands around your shoulders. You jumped, and released yourself from his grip.
“Nothing!” you exclaimed. You crossed your arms.
“There is obviously something wrong.” Ross urged.
“Ross, its fine! Just leave it alone.”
“No, I’m not going to leave it alone, if there’s something bothering you I want to know what it is.”
“YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW EVERY SINGLE THING THAT GOES ON OKAY, ITS MY LIFE!” you started to yell.
“WE’RE ENGAGED! IF WE’RE ACTUALLY GOING TO GET MARRIED THAN I DO WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! I CARE ABOUT YOU!” Ross started raising his voice too. This is usually when the argument went south.
“ROSS THERES JUST THINGS THAT I CAN HANDLE BY MYSELF!” you angrily replied.
“YOU WANT TO BE BY YOURSELF? FINE. I’M DONE!” with that Ross stormed out your apartment, and slammed the door.
You snapped back to reality. Sometimes these fights were his fault, sometimes they were both of yours faults, but this time it was definitely your fault.
“I don’t know Rydel, I just kind of blew up at him for no reason.”
“What did you say?” Rydel asked.
“Well he kept asking what was wrong, and I told him I could handle it myself, and we just started arguing again.” you explained. Rydel looked at you confused.
“Why didn’t you just tell him what was wrong?” She inquired. Another tear started falling down your face. You shook your head.
“I don’t know.” You set your arms on your knees, and tucked your face into your hands. Rydel softly rubbed your back. You sat up again. “What if it’s over?’ you cried.
“It’s not over! You, and Ross still love each other.” You shook your head.
“But tonight he said he was done. I think he’s had enough fights. I think he’s had enough of me.”
“I don’t think that’s true. Ross probably just said that in the heat of the moment.” Rydel tried to console.
“Maybe.” You sighed. “Could I just stay here tonight?” You mumbled. Rydel gave a light sympathetic smile.
“I would say yes, but I think you should go home, and work everything out with Ross. Nothing good comes from leaving bridges uncrossed.” You shook your head.
“You’re right.”
**
You slowly opened up the door to your apartment, just in case Ross was sleeping.
“Is that you?” a voice called. Apparently he wasn’t asleep.
“Yea.” You answered. You walked into your kitchen to see Ross sitting at the table on his phone.
“Hey.” He mumbled.
“Hi.” There was an awkward pause. You sat down at the table next to him. “I was just at Rydels.” You spoke.
“Okay.” He responded still not looking up from his phone. A few awkward moments went by. You wanted to talk to him about everything, but you didn’t know how to start.
“Ross, could we talk about tonight.” You asked. He looked up from his phone.
“Oh so now you want to talk?” He retorted.
“I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry for blowing up at you. I didn’t meant to react like that there was just…stuff on my mind.”
“What was so bad that you couldn’t possible tell me about?” You shook your head.
“That’s not important-” Ross jumped up from his chair, and stormed out of the kitchen before you could even finish the sentence. “Ross wait!” you stood up, and followed him into the living room.
“I can’t believe after all of this, you still won’t tell me what’s going on with you. Is this how our marriage is going to be? Because we can’t get married if we don’t trust each other!”
“Ross, I love you…”
“But you don’t trust me?” He started to raise his voice. The tears started to fall again. “YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU SO WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LET ME IN?” He exclaimed. You could see there were tears starting to form in his eyes too.
“BECAUSE IT HURTS!” you yelled. You collapsed back on the couch, and started sobbing again. Ross sat down next to you on the couch, and wrapped his arms around you. You put your arms around his neck, and rested your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry Ross.” You whispered.
“For what?” He muttered. You sat up, and looked Ross in the eyes.
“I do love you, you have to know that. Trust is just a hard thing for me…every time we have a fight you storm out that door, and sometimes I’m afraid you’ll never come back. You don’t know much it hurt when you said you “were done” earlier. In every relationship I’ve been in I’ve gotten hurt, and I’m just afraid…” A tear fell down Ross’s cheek.
“Baby I’m sorry, I had no idea. I have no way of knowing these things unless you tell me. I love you, and want you to be able to trust me.” Ross said. You nodded your head. “How about this, If you can trust me I’ll be more trustworthy. No more storming out, and no more unnecessary fights.” You leaned forward and rested your forehead against Ross’s.
“You mean the world to me Ross. I love you, and if there’s anything bothering me I promise I know I can trust you.” You leaned in, and lightly place your lips against Ross’s. After you pulled away Ross smiled.
“I love you too.”

16 Years: Not Happy

PART 10 YOU GUYS!!!!!! This one’s filled with tons of drama and fluff that all of you have been waiting for!!

PART ONE: http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/146579716370/16-years-flashback

PART TWO:http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/146637451160/16-years-terry-allen

PART THREE: http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/146640876840/16-years-central-city

PART FOUR: http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/146685753305/16-years-the-ross-and-rachel

PART FIVE: http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/146735085125/16-years-iris-west-allen

PART SIX: http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/147000147990/16-years-weve-been-parent-trapped

PART SEVEN: http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/147031930815/16-years-you-dont-need-it

PART EIGHT: http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/147068251925/16-years-still-in-love

PART NINE: http://impala666.tumblr.com/post/147306676525/16-years-nothings-going-on-yet

Originally posted by lolurnotgrantgustin

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Destined To Be Chapter 3: |Guards Up| (Sam Drake x Reader)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

Damn! I’m on a roll this week! Finally something I can do on these lazy and boring holiday days. I have to say that I’m having a lot of fun writing this. Back when I was in the US, I did three semesters of Creative Writing which I loved. I’m missing it. Also in that class was a girl my age who wrote fanfiction. Guess I can thank her for that interest :-)

Anyway, enough talking. Let’s get going!
(I will also post this on FF, but later this week. Tumblr Samuel Drake trash peeps first.)

(last but not least, this is one of my first gifs I made in a long time :-)

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Domestic Bliss

Roy (Bianca) x Shane (Courtney)

Rating: Filthy

Warning: Smut

“Just for now,” Roy had stressed as he signed the lease for their apartment. 

So how had ‘just for now’ turned into falling asleep on their pull out coach- too tired to go to bed or wash off their makeup- and waking up with their legs tangled together? 


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anonymous asked:

Maybe a cute little story about zero being protective of Jude and trying to keep the press away from him outside the arena after their kiss on the court.? Loved the last story by the way

two fics in two days? really? what has become of me? 

Thank you anon for a great prompt, and I hope this is close enough to what you asked for. I know the fanon is that Lionel is immediately onboard HMS Zude, but I’m not so sure (and would prefer to not have this coming-out-in-team-sports simplified even more), and well, we can never have too much of Protective!Zero, right? 

PG-rated, un-beated (English not first languages), fluffy!angst (it’s a thing and I love it and seriously what is zude turning me into?)

Again, hope you enjoy, comments, reblogs and more prompts as always are very appreciated! 

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Ross Imagine for Kate

“Ross and Madi’s love story is truly one for the storybooks…” You muttered to yourself, frantically scrawling down the lines on a sheet of paper. “No that’s not right. When Ross first laid eyes on Madi…” You scratched out the previous sentence and quickly jotted down the new one. “God, this sounds like a cheesy eighties movie!” You groaned, balling up the paper and tossing it across the room. “Hey Kate- Whoa!” Your roommate quickly deflected the wad of paper with an oven mitt as she stepped into the bedroom. You slammed your notebook shut in frustration as she approached. “Sorry.” You mumbled apologetically. She shook her head as she flopped down on the foot of your bed. “No worries. Still working on your speech for Ross’s wedding?” she questioned. You nodded as you tugged your hair up into a ponytail. “Yeah. So far I’ve got nothing. Less than nothing. I’ve got…negative nothing.” Kristen rolled her eyes and laughed. “Don’t be such a drama queen. Just…speak from the heart.” She offered.

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Loving the Enemy 1/3

Originally posted by collisionofdcandmarvel


Pairing: Bucky x Stark!Reader
Warnings: Civil War spoilers. Angst. Slight panic attack.
Summary: The youngest Stark was left with her older brother after her parent’s deaths. What happens when years later she falls in love with her parent’s murderer?
A/N: I’ve decided to make it into a mini-series. College is really hectic, which means I won’t be able to post that regularly, but I will try my hardest. Love you all! @aseasyasdeanspie @bovaria
Word Count: 2000+

December 19th 1991

“Mommy? Do you have to go?” The young 6 year old asked her mother. “I’m afraid so darling, we’ll be back in a week. Okay?” The intelligent 6 year old nodded profusely before she turned and ran towards her older brother, pouncing on top of him in her Christmassy dress.

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Drunk in Las Vegas

Originally posted by natashamaximova

(^^ me when someone says ‘Civil War’) 

Drunk in Las Vegas (A Ross and Rachel inspired story)

Pairing: Pietro x Reader
Summary: You and Pietro get drunk together in Las Vegas and the two of you decide to go have fun together ;) 
Warnings: Alcohol and the act of being drunk  

OK so this story just randomly occurred to me on the way to school XD I have been watching a lot of Friends nowadays (GUYS IT IS SUCH AN AMAZING SHOW) and I decided to apply the idea of Ross and Rachel marrying in Las Vegas to a reader and Pietro story. I know this isn’t a First Dates story, but this was too good to pass 😅 Enjoy!

    “Welcome to the Stark Hotel!” The valet exclaimed cheerily. His cheeriness took you by surprise a bit, as you started to haul your backpack out of the limo.

    “Thanks,” you mumbled in response. Your luggage, along with the other’s luggages, were placed onto a golden luggage cart to be taken up to our rooms. Recently, Tony decided to try out the hotel business and opened up his own hotel in Vegas (he named it the Stark Hotel). As a little treat for all of us, Tony wanted us to come to the grand opening of the tower. Wait, not wanted. He forced us to come. Suddenly, you felt someone place their arm around your shoulders. 

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nytimes.com
The Trauma of Being Alive

by Mark Epstein

Talking with my 88-year-old mother, four and a half years after my father died from a brain tumor, I was surprised to hear her questioning herself. “You’d think I would be over it by now,” she said, speaking of the pain of losing my father, her husband of almost 60 years. “It’s been more than four years, and I’m still upset.”

I’m not sure if I became a psychiatrist because my mother liked to talk to me in this way when I was young or if she talks to me this way now because I became a psychiatrist, but I was pleased to have this conversation with her. Grief needs to be talked about. When it is held too privately it tends to eat away at its own support.

“Trauma never goes away completely,” I responded. “It changes perhaps, softens some with time, but never completely goes away. What makes you think you should be completely over it? I don’t think it works that way.” There was a palpable sense of relief as my mother considered my opinion.

“I don’t have to feel guilty that I’m not over it?” she asked. “It took 10 years after my first husband died,” she remembered suddenly, thinking back to her college sweetheart, to his sudden death from a heart condition when she was in her mid-20s, a few years before she met my father. “I guess I could give myself a break.”

I never knew about my mother’s first husband until I was playing Scrabble one day when I was 10 or 11 and opened her weather-beaten copy of Webster’s Dictionary to look up a word. There, on the inside of the front cover, in her handwriting, was her name inscribed in black ink. Only it wasn’t her current name (and it wasn’t her maiden name). It was another, unfamiliar name, not Sherrie Epstein but Sherrie Steinbach: an alternative version of my mother at once entirely familiar (in her distinctive hand) and utterly alien.

“What’s this?” I remember asking her, holding up the faded blue dictionary, and the story came tumbling out. It was rarely spoken of thereafter, at least until my father died half a century later, at which point my mother began to bring it up, this time of her own volition. I’m not sure that the trauma of her first husband’s death had ever completely disappeared; it seemed to be surfacing again in the context of my father’s death.

Trauma is not just the result of major disasters. It does not happen to only some people. An undercurrent of trauma runs through ordinary life, shot through as it is with the poignancy of impermanence. I like to say that if we are not suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, we are suffering from pre-traumatic stress disorder. There is no way to be alive without being conscious of the potential for disaster. One way or another, death (and its cousins: old age, illness, accidents, separation and loss) hangs over all of us. Nobody is immune. Our world is unstable and unpredictable, and operates, to a great degree and despite incredible scientific advancement, outside our ability to control it.

My response to my mother — that trauma never goes away completely — points to something I have learned through my years as a psychiatrist. In resisting trauma and in defending ourselves from feeling its full impact, we deprive ourselves of its truth. As a therapist, I can testify to how difficult it can be to acknowledge one’s distress and to admit one’s vulnerability. My mother’s knee-jerk reaction, “Shouldn’t I be over this by now?” is very common. There is a rush to normal in many of us that closes us off, not only to the depth of our own suffering but also, as a consequence, to the suffering of others.

When disasters strike we may have an immediate empathic response, but underneath we are often conditioned to believe that “normal” is where we all should be. The victims of the Boston Marathon bombings will take years to recover. Soldiers returning from war carry their battlefield experiences within. Can we, as a community, keep these people in our hearts for years? Or will we move on, expecting them to move on, the way the father of one of my friends expected his 4-year-old son — my friend — to move on after his mother killed herself, telling him one morning that she was gone and never mentioning her again?

IN 1969, after working with terminally ill patients, the Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross brought the trauma of death out of the closet with the publication of her groundbreaking work, “On Death and Dying.” She outlined a five-stage model of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Her work was radical at the time. It made death a normal topic of conversation, but had the inadvertent effect of making people feel, as my mother did, that grief was something to do right.

Mourning, however, has no timetable. Grief is not the same for everyone. And it does not always go away. The closest one can find to a consensus about it among today’s therapists is the conviction that the healthiest way to deal with trauma is to lean into it, rather than try to keep it at bay. The reflexive rush to normal is counterproductive. In the attempt to fit in, to be normal, the traumatized person (and this is most of us) feels estranged.

While we are accustomed to thinking of trauma as the inevitable result of a major cataclysm, daily life is filled with endless little traumas. Things break. People hurt our feelings. Ticks carry Lyme disease. Pets die. Friends get sick and even die.

“They’re shooting at our regiment now,” a 60-year-old friend said the other day as he recounted the various illnesses of his closest acquaintances. “We’re the ones coming over the hill.” He was right, but the traumatic underpinnings of life are not specific to any generation. The first day of school and the first day in an assisted-living facility are remarkably similar. Separation and loss touch everyone.

I was surprised when my mother mentioned that it had taken her 10 years to recover from her first husband’s death. That would have made me 6 or 7, I thought to myself, by the time she began to feel better. My father, while a compassionate physician, had not wanted to deal with that aspect of my mother’s history. When she married him, she gave her previous wedding’s photographs to her sister to hold for her. I never knew about them or thought to ask about them, but after my father died, my mother was suddenly very open about this hidden period in her life. It had been lying in wait, rarely spoken of, for 60 years.

My mother was putting herself under the same pressure in dealing with my father’s death as she had when her first husband died. The earlier trauma was conditioning the later one, and the difficulties were only getting compounded. I was glad to be a psychiatrist and grateful for my Buddhist inclinations when speaking with her. I could offer her something beyond the blandishments of the rush to normal.

The willingness to face traumas — be they large, small, primitive or fresh — is the key to healing from them. They may never disappear in the way we think they should, but maybe they don’t need to. Trauma is an ineradicable aspect of life. We are human as a result of it, not in spite of it.

Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist and the author, most recently, of the forthcoming book “The Trauma of Everyday Life.”

Scandal Review: Baby Made A Mess, Episode 407

Jenna Bans and Oliver Bokelberg did the damned thing y'all.

Slow claps for everybody involved in this episode. (Well, you know, except for Scott Foley)

From Kerry with Darby flexing her acting muscles, and breaking my heart:

To Kerry with Brian Letscher showing us who he is acting-wise,

and to Tony Goldwyn and his amazing oral skills

This was truly the Scandal that I love. 

People, that was simply the best hour of TV since last season’s Good Wife episode, Hitting The Fan. It was everything and a bag of chips y’all.

Without further ado, let’s get started shall we?

What I Hated

1.  The fact that Jake is a character on this show.

2.  Mellie and her constant need to be Joan of Arc when she’s been the architect of her own destruction for so many years.

Enough with the woe-is-me Mellie crap, go catch a freaking brick already. Or you know…file for freaking divorce.

3.  Charles ‘Chip’ Putney

 Douchebag extraordinaire. 

What I mildly disliked

1.  The fact that Fitz literally can’t see anything but Olivia.

He is literally Dug from Up. I need him to do his job, and stop pining over Olivia so much. Shonda, are you listening to me?

2.  "Are you sure you don’t have time for round two?

Jesus Cyrus, how have you not sicced Charlie onto this guy yet? I’m patient though. I know it’s coming.

What I Freaking Loved

1.  Abby.

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Oh the tears. I take back every horrible thing I ever said about Abby. 

Darby was just brilliant as Abby tonight.

Her foundations were shaken to the core, she  was vulnerable, and real, and in pain, and glorious, and strong. Darby Stanchfield finally got a chance to flex her acting muscles, and it was sheer perfection. I cried so hard at the Abby and Liv scene when she  was cowering behind her desk. Man,…. 

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I’m crying now just thinking about it.

2.  ”Leo, I didn’t see you there, don’t you look well rested since the election. I wish I could have some down time, but too busy here at the White House.

Oh the shade of it all Cyrus, the shade of it all.

3.   Senator McDonnell in diapers.

People were disgusted, but don’t think that politicians who are into this kinda kinky shit don’t exist. Give it twelve months and a video of a Republican politician getting paddled and having his diaper changed will come out. Seriously.

4.  ”What do you want?“

I love Olivia Pope. This is her show again, and I am overwhelmed by emotion. The sisterhood that her and Abby have shown each other has really made the show for me. Over a clif, Liv, over a cliff.

5.   The look of disgust when Olivia went to Susan Ross’s 'campaign head quarters’ and interrupted her "rally”.

Oh the shade, the shade.

6.   Leo and Abby. 

I’m shipping it so freaking hard. Of course we all saw their chemistry last season, but this ship,is about to set sail people!

7.   Fitz dealing with an actual political crisis.

Bring on the West Angola crisis for our president to deal with, yeeesss!

8.   Mellie’s utter boredom with her life and her place in the White House.

Bitch leave your freaking husband, and be great by yourself.

9. Mellie’s deep voice while she was talking to Elizabeth.

Was I the only one who noticed that? What was going on there then?

10.   Mellie the insanely smart political strategist obviously being used by Lizzie Bear.

Damn she’s stupid.

11.   “This isn’t Jailhouse Mingle.com

David made a funny guys! So many lols.

12.   “You already have a plan don’t you? I’ve been poped and I don’t know it”.

Aww David, never change your loser ways.

13.   The entire Olivia and Tom scene.

Wow, there was so much to unpack there. I know we’ve all been curious at one time or another about Tom’s thoughts about Fitz and Olivia. Well four seasons on, and we finally got it. And it was glorious. I have to write down this entire dialogue because it was that freaking good.

Olivia “Hello Tom

Olivia “Warden Roberts generously allowed me the use of his office. This way I didn’t have to sign in as a visitor and we get to keep this meeting off the books.”

Tom: “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to stare, it’s just, I don’t get to look at you very often. Just look. I’m usually working, scanning the perimeter, protecting my president the way I do, I mean, I’m in the room, but I’m never in the room. You’re usually in the corner of my eye, I’ve never… Seen you. And you….are….beautiful. The face that launched a thousand ships.“

Olivia: “Tom, I need you to tell me the truth about who ordered you to kill the president’s son. I need to know..

Tom: “Why did you leave him?”

Olivia “Tom, I need answers.”

Tom “So do I. I have had so many questions for so long that I’ve been wanting to ask. Like, what is it that is so special about you? You have so much power over him. He revolves around you. So I don’t understand, why did you leave him?

Olivia “I’m not answering these-“

Tom  ”Was this an order from Command?”

Olivia “My father doesn’t give me orders.”

Tom  “You think you… Oh You think you have a father? I am so sorry, but you don’t have a father, you have Command, and you were raised by Command. Command doesn’t have a family, Command has soldiers. You take orders like any other soldier. You’ve been taking orders from Command since the day you were born.

Olivia “Who made you kill the president’s son?

Tom “He came to your apartment once after you’d left him. He insisted. So we brought him, middle of the night. Not even a follow car, just four agents and my president. I think he had to see it for himself, see that you were really gone. We had a key from the landlord. The president went in and he just …. The other three agents stayed outside in the hall, but eventually I went in too because of the sound. He was making this noise. Not crying, more like… I don’t know, I’d never heard a noise like that before. He stopped when I came in. We just didn’t talk about it. He’s my president, he needed you, he was in pain, he wanted to die. He tried you know. Once. I could protect him from everyone except you. I could never protect him from you Miss Pope.

silence

Tom:  "You are beautiful. But really it’s what’s behind your eyes. I can see it. And you know they all love you. My president, Jake, Command. They all love you, and I can see it, I can see why. Helen of Troy. The face that launched a thousand ships. She didn’t have a father either. Her father was a god”.

Now why can’t the writers write this kind of shit for Fitz to say to her, rather than constantly relegating their interactions to sex? 

I love the Olitz sexual encounters as much as the next person, but this monologue coming from Fitz, would be romance gold. One would be forgiven for believing that it was Tom who was in love with Olivia. And in a way, he probably is.

Honestly, what I loved about this scene between Liv and Tom, was that for the first time in the entire show, there was somebody who wasn’t judging Fitz and Olivia’s relationship. That has literally never happened before. Tom, who’s been privvy to most of their most intense private moments believes in their love, and damn, but I never thought that this was something I was missing until the writers gave it to us in this episode. 

Of course the dichotomy is that he’s obviously ride or die for his president, yet he killed his son on orders, so yeah, there is that…

This scene was so great though. Just fantastic.

14.   Olivia using Susan Ross’s daughter for their TV ad campaign.

Awesome idea. Because honestly, Susan Ross herself was a mess. Casey Ross would have been a better candidate herself. I’m not even kidding.

15.   Abby pulling the gun on the son of a bitch she married.

You go girl. Honestly, if she’d shot him, I would have applauded even more, and I’m not sorry about that.

16.   The scene between Olivia and Abby after she pulled the gun on Chip.

The fact that women are always blamed, even when they are the victims. Even when they stand up and tell their story. There was so much to applaud in Olivia trying to encourage her friend to tell the world the truth about her husband, but Abby was right, honesty has not always been the best path for wronged women, or women who stood up to their abusers. 

Jenna Bans…listen… girl you are…

The message of this entire episode was so strong, and the feminist bent really made my heart soar. Gah, I loved it so much. Why couldn’t we have had this quality last season? 

Whatever, I’m just glad that the writers put down the crack pipe long enough to go back to writing awesome Scandal episodes.

17.   The beginning of the Olitz phone call between Olivia when he tells her exactly what Jake is eating. This is Fitz, all day every day:

We see by now though that her main concern is Fitz. She wants to talk to him about what Tom told her. 

18.   ”What’s wrong.“

I always love when Fitz asks Olivia what’s wrong,  and vice versa, because there is always that fundamental understanding and knowledge of each other, that the writers explore every now and then, but has been missing for so long in their interactions with one another. He knows when there’s something wrong, even when they’re on the phone. That knowing right there, is why some of us fell in love with them in the first place.

Can Fitz hurry up and get divorced so that we can have our Olitz back?

19.   ”He said you tried to kill yourself“  Woah. How amazing was the camera work on Fitz during the silence that ensued after Olivia asked this question?

I could literally feel Fitz’s shame here. He would have never wanted her to know this truth about him. That he nearly succumbed and took his own life. Tony’s acting here was superb. I felt so itchy and uncomfortable for him. Fitz obviously hasn’t dealt with his issues, so he of course changes the subject. I hope this trend doesn’t continue, because our boy needs to face his demons head on.

20.   ”I want to talk about what “hope” means.“ And the. ”That depends on how much hope there is

Fitz needs to abandon hope and file those divorce papers. This action would do more for him and Olivia’s relationship than hope ever could, or would.

By the way, did anybody else not have a clue how that conversation was going to end? Me neither. Shonda girl, you’re a dirty bird, and you don’t care who knows it.

21.   ”I’d kiss you on the mouth so you could taste yourself“.

Inappropriate phone sex is hot. Post divorce phone sex will be even hotter. But daaaamn…

22.   Huck going to meet/not meet his son…

I really need a happy ending for Huck and Javi guys. I. Need. It. But yes, this is Scandal, where there’s no such thing as a happy ending. 


23.   Honorable mention of Ethan’s puppy like eagerness.

He’s so  adorable though.

24. ” My jaw was wired shut for 6 weeks and I still have a pin in it that gets me a sympathetic look every time I go through security at the airport. Two of my front teeth are fake and my collarbone hurts whenever it’s going to rain. Charles did that to me, so yeah, you won. Yahtzee.

Abby broke my heart this entire episode. So many damned feels. Bravo for telling Leo her biggest secret though. Scum like Charles don’t deserve to live, let alone be allowed to play in the political arena.

25.  The scene between Rowan and Olivia in her apartment.

But damn Kerry and Joe have the most awesome on-screen chemistry. Of course Kerry has chemistry with everyone except for Jake Dullard.

26.   ”You never ever again choose one of them over me. I won’t have it"

Sooooo Rowan, maybe we need to talk about this obsession you have with your daughter? She’s your child, not your possession dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?

27.   “What’s clear, is that you seem to have wasted a lifetime doing all the wrong things.”

Basically Daddy, you’re a mess.

28.   “Olivia, against me, you will lose

Dammit, I need Rowan to die so much. He’s such a hateful villain, I need him gone already. This man better be dead by the time the winter finale is over.

29.   Tom getting the message from Command.

Did anybody else think he was dead? Me too. I was actually quite relieved when he was shown in hospital to still be alive. Yes I know he killed a kid, but we didn’t have time to get invested in Jerry. Plus he was following orders. Rowan on the other hand.. he just needs to die, regardless. 

30.   Mellie doing what Mellie always does and overstepping her boundaries on national television.

Bitch would you just go and sit down for a minute? Or you know, get a divorce and start your own career. Properly.


31.   “I know all your weaknesses now Cy”.

Methinks that Michael is not long for this world. I hope he dies a painful death. I hate Cyrus, but I’m not down for him being played by Elizabeth North’s ho.

32.   Abby and Leo.

Leo did something noble and nice guys! They are a way hotter couple than Abby and David “I need a Wet nurse” Rosen.

33.   “I can’t believe I just let you kiss me”

“Have some more bourbon and I’ll touch your boob”

Howling…

By the way, I’m pretty sure in one of my old reviews from the season that we shan’t mention, I predicted that these two would get together. I think we first got the inkling that there was potential with them in the episode when Leo accompanies Abby to see Gov. Reston’s wife who was serving time in jail.

34.  The shot of Mellie and her big hair, wearing that red dress on the balcony.

It was actually a beautiful shot, and once again, I’m convinced that Mellie won’t be the one asking for divorce, because there would be no drama in that. Mellie’s out for blood now. I can get on board with this version of Mellie, the Mellie that we used to know and love to hate.

By the way, was I the only one wondering if Bellamy Young was wearing some sort of fat suit to plump Mellie up? She seemed a lot bigger in that dress than I remembered. I have to say, if this was done on purpose, I’d be mightily impressed with the Scandal crew, because we know she’s been eating a lot of fried chicken over the past two months, and it would stand to reason that she’d gain some weight. 

A girl can dream about that kind of attention to detail, right?

35.   “I’m back Baby. Real Mellie” I feel like Shonda got tired of taking shit for the retcon job that she did on Mellie Grant last season and decided to take her back to who she used to be. She may have been listening after all guys. 

36.   “I have been holding you up for twenty years and I never complained

Mellie, two things, yes you did complain, a lot, and secondly, Fitz never asked you to hide your rape so that he could be governor and then president. Fitz never asked you to withhold vital information from him, information that could have possibly saved your marriage. Fitz never asked you to make decisions on his behalf. Fitz didn’t ask you to help rig an election for him. You never once talked to him about any of it. So don’t play that tired old ’Everything I did was for you’ card because the truth is, everything you did was at least 90% for yourself. Now sit the fuck down and try to come up with a plan to extract yourself from this toxic marriage without looking like the crazy person that you are.

37.   “He’s a B613 agent. I handled him, the way my father would have.”

I have literally never been so freaking proud of Olivia Pope as I was at this moment. Is she like her father? Maybe, but damn, give me this version of her, over the sniveling, whiny woman being beaten down by everybody and his pet dog, any day of the damned week.

My baby is back y'all.


38.   “I found you. I tracked you down by your IP address. Pretty easy

Tears.

Please Shonda, let Huck have his son back in his life. It might humanize him somewhat.

39. “Hi. Hi. Hi.”

Bunker scene with Olitz and Jake Dullard! I am so freaking excited. Yes even with Dullard there. I literally cannot wait until next week. 

Stray Observations

1.   As exasperated as Olivia was, did y’all notice that she was waiting for Fitz to ring? Yes, she was Olakers, yes she was.

2.   To all the people who were losing their shit over a 30 second sneak peek on Wednesday:

3.   That balcony sure has had a major work out this season. They sure got their money’s worth from that set.

4.  "You can’t stop what’s coming. Sorry, I can’t help you". Welp

Who the hell is hunting Olivia Pope, is this going to be part of the arc for season 4B?

5.  West Angola - East Sudan. Both countries that don’t actually exist, but I see what you did there Scandal. Lol

6.  Did y’all notice that Olivia had episode 101 clothes on? That grey/light blue chiffon shirt and pants?

7.   Olivia’s coat when she went in to see Abby.

8. There was no Jake Dullard in this episode and it was glorious. 

Anyway, dammit, this episode was just sublime. For me, it goes down as one of my top five episodes in Scandal’s four seasons. It was truly brilliant. I bow down to thee Jenna Bans and Oliver Bokelberg. You too Shonda. 

I love how good this entire season has been up til now. And I love how every episode keeps getting better and better.

By the way, do we think that this is heading towards Olivia Pope becoming Command? Surely not?

No smutty Outlander gifs today, because this episode doesn’t need the allure of Jamie and Claire, because actually, everything was brilliant, and nothing hurt. 

Well, plus there was this of course:

I do however feel the need for a good drink though.

Surfbort. Lol.

Am I Ross Geller?

word count: 1,069

pairing: Ashton/ Reader

rating: gonna go PG13, cause swearing, and alcohol mention and allusions to sex so…

summary: Strangers married in Vegas AU

Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor, never been sicker. One too many tequila shots and an unbelievable winning streak and you’ve got a lot more to worry about than a hangover.

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