and protect you from everyone that doesn't know what they're talking about

Baby Girl You're Just My Type (Seventeen Preference)
  • S.Coups/Seungcheol: Definitely someone girly; he's the tough, man's man, and he'd need a very feminine partner to contrast that. He seems like an ass man to me, so someone who is very bootylicious and likes to show off their ass/doesn't mind having it grabbed. He'd also probably be into a girl who is quieter or who doesn't feel pressure to talk a lot so that he can be the one to do the talking, and so that he can feel listened to, and so that the two of you can just sit in comfortable silence when you feel like it. He would love the type of girl who can wear heels all the time and not feel overdressed, but also rocks a messy bun and flannel. His type all around would be the "girl next door" to the extreme, but in a good way.
  • Jeonghan: He would like a softer type of girl. Being someone who doesn't conform to gender norms himself, he would never be opposed to dating a tomboy or someone who often bounces between ultra feminine and masculine. He just wants someone who would be easy on the eyes - someone that everyone could look at an agree is absolutely beautiful, just like him. It would also have to be someone with amazing hair, so that you could be a stand out hair power couple. As personality goes, he would enjoy who is very cute without trying. Maybe they're awkward or clumsy but this turns out very cute and he enjoys those moments to the maximum even if you get embarrassed, just for the cuteness. He would also like someone shorter than him so that he can lay his head on top of you during hugs, and he can cover you completely when spooning.
  • Joshua/Jisoo: He would want someone opposite of him. He's all shyness and blushes and giggles, so he'd need someone who's confidence and certainty and standing tall. He would love the contrast you make against him and the confidence you give him when you're together. He also loves that when he gets shy or embarrassed he can bury his face into your shoulder or hair and you'll be the one laughing with a brave face because you enjoy how cute he's being. He'd also want someone very cuddly. Because he seeks physical comfort, and he would want his partner to be very okay with that happening when he needs it. And although he might not always be completely okay with showing PDA because of how shy he is, his ideal type would also know how to use words to calm him down and make him feel good because you would be smart and linguistic like that.
  • Jun: As predictable as it sounds, Jun would like a bad girl. But not just a "bad girl", a genuinely bad, doesn't give a fuck, bad attitude kind of girl. The kind of girl that the rest of the boys and Pledis would hate and probably ask him to stop seeing. Mostly because he would like the thrill. This is the kid who 9/10 legitimately thinks he's a vampire, so if he found a girl who smoked and had dozens of piercings and tattoos and swore more than his little ears could handle, he would want to hold onto you forever. Eventually he would find out you have a whole other side, a softer side, and this would just make him melt, and then you'd never get rid of him. Because as much as fishnets and barbells are appealing, actual emotions are like the jackpot here. And he would follow you around like a lost puppy, hanging on your every word, waiting for your next move, wanting to see just how bad you could get. You just might get sick of him. But he would be a lovesick puppy because being with a bad girl is the closest he's ever really come to living on the edge.
  • Hoshi/Soonyoung: Hoshi would need someone versatile. He can go from literal puppy to walking sex monument in two seconds flat, and he needs someone who can embrace his many sides and roll with them. I can also see him falling for a plus-sized girl. Saying that he enjoys the curves more and that your gorgeous body is part of what captured his attention when the two of you first met. He'd want a girl who is very good at taking care of herself, but can also take care of him when he needs it. He can work long hours and dissolves into a child-like state, and he needs somebody there to pick up the pieces and put him back together at the end of a hard day. He might also like a girl that he has to bring out of her shell a little. Maybe you're more shy around others, around the boys, and from time to time he has to help you loosen up and he loves that about you. He loves the challenge, and he loves the reward of when he finally gets to see the same you in public that he does in private.
  • Wonwoo: He would go for one of two types of girls - he would either date the ultimate goth girl and live out his emo dreams, or he would date the softest, girliest hipster/kawaii girl and defy everyone's expectations. If he dated a goth girl, they would match perfectly in your emo appearance and attitude, and your occasional slips of undeniable cuteness and happiness. Black is the perfect color that goes with everything, so he would love seeing his girlfriend dressed in it every single day, and would delight in finding black lipstick stains on his skin and even items of his clothing. He would also love that he would get to see the cutesy and caring side of you that people never expected when they saw your harsh appearance, and he would always be right their defending you if people judged you too harshly. If he dated a super soft kawaii girl, it would a lot like the cinnamon roll meme. It appears that he could kill you, but he is, in fact, a giant cinnamon roll, and he is protecting you, a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this earth, too pure. That's what he believes and that's what he upholds. He doesn't let anyone come near you, look at you the wrong way; he doesn't even let anyone speak badly about you when you're not around. You would be his one weakness, and he would both love and hate that about being with you.
  • Woozi/Jihoon: His ideal type is definitely someone who appreciates music. Someone who can listen to his work and it's afraid to give him critical feedback about it, but also isn't afraid to tell him when it's perfect. He wouldn't mind dating someone taller than him. He might even enjoy dating someone taller than him, but continuously claim that it's just a coincidence (I mean he is only 5.3") when in reality he enjoys the bear hugs and feeling so safe all wrapped up in you. He's the type of guy to feel confident and secure enough that he doesn't need to be taller than his girlfriend. He would also want a to date a girl that he finds genuinely interesting. Whether this be because you're into the arts, or because you're athletic, he'd find something about you and then from there, he would want to learn everything about you. He'd study you like it was his job. He also might prefer a girl with coloured/pastel hair so that you could match and be ultra cute together.
  • DK/Seokmin: DK would want to date a sporty girl. He would love everything about you from the fact that you always wear ponytails to your muscle tone to your yoga pants (probably especially the yoga pants). He would watch you jogging by one day and be hooked. He'd want to know your name, everything about you, and the fact that you might not be much of a talker only baited him so much more. He would love dancing with you and trying out all the sports that you're into, even if he sucks at them. And in the rare moments that he could get you to open up, that he could get into your mind instead of the physical aspect of your being, he would feel so rewarded he would be over the moon. He would also love the times that you dressed up. Seeing you all the time in sportswear, you always looked amazing no matter what, but when you dressed up, it always shocked and amazed him, and reminded him that he was so lucky to have you.
  • Mingyu: He would probably like a really quiet, shy girl. As cheesy as it is, he would be the type of guy to dream about finding the introverted girl and sweeping her off her feet. He would probably think it's so romantic and dreamy to pick up a girl at a coffee shop or a book store and all the other boys would make fun of him because deep down he's just a sucker for John Green and Twilight. He would want to find a girl who would blush whenever you looked at him and giggle at all his jokes and used her hair to hide her face out of shyness. He'd be a sucker for a girl who had sweater paws and stared at her shoes and spent a lot of time reading or writing and liked watching old movies. He'd get weak in the knees for a girl like that.
  • The8/Minghao: I can't really pin down his ideal type. He is a puppy, but at the same time he's very mature, so I feel that he'd be very versatile when it came to girl. He mostly would probably wouldn't care what his girlfriend looked like because he believes that all girls are beautiful in their own way. But if he fell for someone, he would fall hard and fast. You would sweep him off his feet, probably within days, and he wouldn't know what hit him. He might even think he was getting the flu with how lovesick he was feeling. He wouldn't be able to get you off his mind and he would come to the undeniable conclusion - you had captured his heart. You were his ideal type.
  • Seungkwan: He'd want someone sassy. He is the king of sass, and he'd want someone who could at least try and compete with him and his sassy antics. This also means you would have to have a very good sense of humor, because even though he can be very serious, he loves his jokes. He would also need someone to help keep him calm, because he gets very tense and aggravated (especially when asked to do aegyo) and he'd need someone who knows how to calm him with words and simple touches. I also think he'd want his girlfriend to be stylish. Because, let's be honest, out of all the boys I think he'd be the one to most pay attention to what his girlfriend is wearing. So if his girlfriend has a very defined sense of self style and image, he would be very proud to be around her and show her off to everyone.
  • Vernon/Hansol: I feel like he would actually go after a very nerdy girl. On stage he's all "$wag $wag money" but he's actually just a huge dork, so I feel like a nerdy girl would be the perfect match for him. Someone who would watch anime with him and obnoxiously scream the themes, someone who would poke fun at him and not mind being mocked as well. He probably also thinks that glasses are hot, so he would embrace that in a girl. He's got plenty of confidence, he's maybe even a little cocky, so he needs someone who will knock him down a few notches and remember to keep him level headed. He would love someone who's really smart, who can teach him things, someone who's very energetic like himself, very enthusiastic about life. I also feel like he'd be very into just sitting and listening to you talk for hours about what your passionate about - whether it's TV shows, or the book you're reading, or stars - he'd just want to listen because it would give him peace and it would give him a chance to learn more about you.
  • Dino/Chan: He's the little maknae (which nobody will ever forget) so he needs somebody who will balance him. Somebody who can be funny and immature with him when the time is right, but also somebody who can be serious and talk about serious things when he needs that. I also feel that he's still uncertain - he's still young and shaping his confidence, so he needs someone who's not afraid to shower him with compliments to help him boost his confidence over time. He would also need to date someone who shares his interests (dancing, music) but can also introduce him to new ones that you can explore together and use to bond. Overall he needs someone stable. He wouldn't do well at all with someone playing with his feelings, he needs someone to be straight with him (where some of the older boys might like "the chase"). Dino would probably also like someone very girly who wears skirts and has longer hair.
  • AN: yeah so this is the obvious thing so post under kpop, right? sorry if it's kind of all over the place, i tried. i also tried to make it a little more unique than other ones i've seen and i genuinely tried to imagine what each of the boys types are. pls lemme know what you think! <3
  • Baby: J-J-J
  • Mom: Come on you can do it. Juice?
  • Baby: Ja- Ja-Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's 🎶beautiful🎶. In the year negative a billion Japan might not have been here. In the year negative fourty thousand it was here and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some ice burgs melted, it became an island, and now there's lots of trees! because it's warmer. So now there's people on the island, they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology like stones and bowls. Ding dong, it's the outside world and they have technology from the future (bronze age) like really good metal and c r a z y r i c e f a r m s. Now you can make A LOT of rice like really really quickly. That means if you own the farm you own a lot of food which is something everybody needs to SURVIVE. So that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land. All the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here(hi), here(chikushi), here(izumo), here(kibi), here(yamato), here(koshi), and here(kenu). But this one (yamato) was the most most important, ruled by a "heavenly superperson" called (emperor) for short. Knock knock. Get the door, it's RELIGION. The new prince (prince shotoku) wants everyone to try this hot new religion (buddhism) from Baekj. "Please try this religion." He said. "No." Said everybody. "Try iiiittt" He said. "No." Said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it. Then the government was taken over by a new clique and they made some reforms (Taika Reforms) like -making the government govern more and -making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi China." They said. "Hi dipshit." (hi "wa"(dwarf)) Said China. "Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?" Said Japan. "Like what?" Said China. "🎶How about sunrise land?🎶" (nihon) (Japan) and so they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book about themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for awhile. Right here (kyoto). And they conquered the north finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits china, and learns a better version (zen buddhism) which is more 🎶spiritual🎶. He goes back, reinvents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be 🎶great🎶 for a long time and the rural palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a shit about running the country. So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? 🎶Hire a samurai🎶. Everyone started hiring samurai. Correction - rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organised and powerful. More powerful than the government. So they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be "emperor" but the shogun is actually in control. BREAKING NEWS the Mongols have invaded China. "We've invaded China" said the Mongols, "Please respect us or else we might invade you as well." "Okay" said Japan. So the Mongols came over, ready for war. Then died in a tornado. But they tried again and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese but then died in a tornado. Then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back then moves to kyoto and makes a new shogunate (ashikaga shogunate). The "emperor" can still dress like an emperor if he wants that's fine. 🎶Now there's more art🎶. Like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. It's time for "who's going to be the next shogun?" Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun, he says "✔ok." But then the shogun has a kid, so now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones, and everyone voted so hard (onin war) that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces (sengoku jidai). Everyone is fighting with each other for local power and it's anybody's game. Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks and guns and 🎶jesus🎶. So that's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control. Now with guns!! and wouldn't it be nice to control the capital (kyoto)? Which right now is puppets with no one controlling them. This clan (imagawa) is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan (oda) which is in the way. Surprise! the smaller clan wins and the leader of that clan (oda nobunaga) steals the idea of invading the capital and invades the capital. And it goes very well 👍. He's about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him, then someone else who works for him kills them. And that guy (toyotomi hideyoshi) finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And made some rules (no having a sword (or a gun) no climbing the social ladder pay taxes). "and now I'm going to invade korea and then hopefully china" he said and failed, and also died. But before he died he told these five guys (council of 5 elders) (ukita hideie, uesugi kagekatsu, mori terumoto, tokugawa ieyasu, maeda toshiie) to take care of his five-year-old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said, "Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid. It's gonna be one of us. Cuz we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy (tokugawa ieyasu) who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight and he wins. And starts a new government right here, 🎶Edo🎶 and he still lets the "emperor" dress like an emperor and have very nice things, but don't get confused, this is the new government (tokugawa family) and they're very strict. So strict they closed the country. (sakoku 鎖国 closed country) No one can leave and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch if they wanna buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (dejima). Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot, business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published, there was poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and dutch studies. People started to study european science from books they bought from the dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity. Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow down. Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. "Open the country. Stop having it be closed." Said the United States. There's really nothing they can do so they signed a contract that lets the united states, britain, and russia visit japan any time they want. choshu and satsuma hated this 👎. "That sucks." They said. "This sucks!!!" and with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogunate (boshin war) and somehow made the emperor (emperor meiji) emperor again and moved him to Eto which they renamed "Eastern Capital". They made a new government, which was "a lot more western" (-new york times review). They made a new constitution (meiji constitution) that was pretty western. And a military that was pretty western (large). And do you know what else is Western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea. So they conquered Korea. Taking it from its previous owner, china, and then got a little further and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "stop, no, you can't take that we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." and Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. And then when the railroad was done they downgraded to A FUCK TON. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade. And Japan says "can you maybe chill?" and then Russia says "How About Maybe You Chill?" Japan is kinda scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kinda scared of Russia. Great Britain! So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance so they can be "a little less scared of Russia". Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia (russo-japanese war) just for a moment and then they both get tired and stop. 🎶it's time for World War 1🎶 The World is about to Have A War. Cuz it's the 1900s and weapons are getting crazy and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants MORE. the next thing on their list is this part of China (qingdao) and lots of tiny islands (palau, marianas, carolines, marshall islands). But all that stuff belongs to Germany, who just had war declared on them from Britain because Britain was friends with Belgium which was being trespassed by Germany so they could get to France to kick France's ass because France is friends with Russia who is getting ready to kick Austria's ass because Austria was just about to kick Serbia's ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's ass. Or... actually they shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh. 🎶japan should take the islands🎶 which they wanted to do anyway. So they called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know (can we take the islands thanks). Then they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. Now the war is over and congratulations Japan! you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table (paris peace conference) with the big dudes where they decided who owns what. And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance 🎶the League of Nations🎶 whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. The great depression is bad and Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine and it invades manchuria. And the League of Nations is like, "no, don't do that, if you're in the league of nations you're not supposed to take over the world!" and Japan said 🎶"how bout i do anyway?"🎶 and Japan invaded more and more and more and more of China. and was planning to invade the entire East. You've got mail! It's from Germany, the new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. 🎶it's time for World War 2! (the sequel)🎶 Germany is invading the neighbors then they invade the neighbor's neighbors then the neighbor's neighbor's neighbors who happen to be Britain said 🎶"holy shit"🎶 and the United States started helping Britain because they're 🎶good friends🎶 and they started not helping Japan because 🎶"their friends and our friends are not friends" "plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean"🎶 the United States is also working on a large very huge bomb (atom bomb). "bigger than any other bomb, ever™" just in case. But they still haven't joined the war. War looks bad on TV and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii (pearl harbor) and then challenges them to war. They say yes. And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship ❤, declares war on the United States also. So the United States goes to war in Europe. And they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany and they also start chasing Japan back into Japan. And they haven't used the bomb yet, and they're curious to see if it works. So they drop it on Japan (hiroshima). They actually dropped two (nagasaki). The United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government. With just the right ingredients for a 🎶post-war economic miracle🎶 and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can and also better than everybody else. They get rich. And the economy goes wild. And then the miracle wears off. But everything is still pretty cool I guess. 🎶Bye🎶

anonymous asked:

how about hcs about merformers tfp bots react to his/her s/o confessing that they're aquaphobic?

Optimus Prime:  Though the concept seems strange to him, considering he’s lived his whole life in the water, he does empathize with you.  The ocean is a scary place after all, especially for something as small as you.  He’d never try to make you get in the water if you don’t want to.  He’s perfectly happy swimming alongside your boat while he talks to you (you notice the waves always seem considerably calmer whenever he’s nearby).  Or if you’d rather not be near the water at all, he’s more than willing to shapeshift into his human form to take you for walks along the beach.

Ratchet:  He scoffs a bit when you first tell him.  After all, you humans aren’t exactly built for aquatic living, are you?  Why your species continuously tries to adapt to environments they’ve got no business being in is beyond him.  But despite his usual grumpiness, you can tell he’s worried slightly for you.  He’d never want you to feel uncomfortable or put your self at risk just to see him.  He’ll gently encourage you to take things slow and offers to teach you how to swim in the shallows, but he won’t push the issue too much if you don’t want to.

Bumblebee:  He’s very… confused when you explain your fear to him.  You’re afraid of water?  But you drink water?  The whole planet is practically made of water??  YOU are mostly water???  He doesn’t quite grasp the concept.  Still, even if he can’t understand your fears, he can at least be supportive and accommodating.  You’re afraid to get in the ocean by yourself?  He’ll offer to let you ride on his back or stomach.  Rather keep your feet on the ground?  No problem!  He loves exploring the human world!  He’s fine with keeping the majority of your dates to seaside carnivals or walks along the beach.

Arcee:  You expect a tough, fearless mer like Arcee to laugh at you when you tell her about your phobia, but to your surprise she’s very understanding.  “Everybody’s afraid of something,” she says matter of factly.  You ask her if she’s afraid of anything and she smirks and says Bulkhead breaching on top of her.  Arcee makes it a point never to force you to go in the water.  She knows that everyone deals with phobias in their own way.  Arcee’s also very protective of you and let’s you know that she’ll smack anyone who dares to make fun of you about your fear.  Of course, if over time, you get to a point where you’d feel comfortable swimming with her, she’s gladly take you for a spin on her back.

Bulkhead:  In all honestly, he’s a bit relived.  Sure, he might have been looking forward to going diving with you, but at the same time, dry land is probably the safest place for you.  Do you have any idea how dangerous the ocean can be?  There are sharks.  Sharks, y/n.  Even still, he does gently nudge you to talk to a professional about your phobia, but he won’t push the issue if you say no.  His favorite thing to do with you is lie out on the beach on gloomy days when there’s no one else around.  He’ll also help you build sandcastles and let you bury him in the sand in human form (just be sure to uncover him before the tide rolls in.  He’s still a mammal after all.)

Wheeljack:  He’s not exactly what you’d call sympathetic at first.  He thinks being afraid of the water is kind of silly, especially when you live so close by.  (Truthfully though, he’s a bit wounded because he’s worried you might also be scared of him or that you won’t want to come see him anymore.)  If he makes you upset with his seeming indifference, or god forbid makes you cry, he’ll feel like absolute slag.  Hey, hey, no!  Come on!  He didn’t mean it!  It’s not stupid.  He didn’t mean to upset you.  Please don’t cry!  He’s a bit more sympathetic towards you from then on, and doesn’t bring it up again.  But just because you can’t get in the water with him, doesn’t mean he still can’t show you a great time!  There are plenty of secret coves and beaches he can still show you as he swims alongside your boat.

Smokescreen:  Like Bumblebee, he’s very confused.  (You don’t like the water?  How can you not like the water?  The water is great!)  Unlike Bumblebee, however, he’s far more adamant about changing your mind.  Smokescreen takes it upon himself to be your personal phobia coach, which goes just about as well as you’d expect.  His idea to have you conquer your fears is to throw you into the middle of the ocean with no life jacket.  After receiving the verbal beating of a life time from Ratchet, as well as a few days of the silent treatment for you, Smokescreen sheepishly apologizes.  He never meant to freak you out.  He only wanted you to see how cool his home could be.  He’ll never do it again, promise.  He tries much harder to be supportive and listen to you from then on.

Ultra Magnus:  He doesn’t say anything, but he does give you some serious side-eye about it.  Don’t take it too personally, he just has a hard time relating.  When you’re as big as he is and have no known predators, the ocean doesn’t seem all that daunting.  Still, you’re his human, and it’s his job to keep you safe.  Worried about storms?  You never see so much as a dark cloud anywhere near the beach from then on.  Don’t like not being able to see into the water?  Oh, look at that!  Suddenly the shallows seem crystal clear where you live!  Afraid of all the things that might be lurking in the deep?  Well, there might be some odd things down there, but you know what the ocean also has?  Dolphins!  Lots of Dolphins!  You know Ultra Magnus will deny any of it if you bring it up (something about an abuse of power), but he’s certainly not going to object to a few extra smooches now and again.

anonymous asked:

how fucking pissed off i am rn?? like i fucking get it that its alec's first relationship and all, but doesn't justify him at all? they're telling me that jace- ok whatever - but CLARY was more worthy of knowing than magnus?? he would've kept fucking queit, enough with the bullshit. so i guess everyone deserves to know expect for the people who face an actual threat. im fucking pissed off. and people who say that magnus was "too mad" can fuck off rn, becuse he had EVERY right to be mad and upset

Okay, anon, I feel you. I mean, I don’t agree, I’m not mad, but I can feel how mad you are.

So let’s talk about this, maybe chill you out a little, make you feel a little better. First let’s take a deep breath. 

Let’s talk about Alec’s decision to not tell Magnus. I wanna remind you that his immediate reaction was to refuse Robert when he tried to make him promise he wouldn’t tell Magnus the secret. His immediate reaction is pretty much always honesty when it comes to Magnus. It’s part of why all of this is a hurtful mess. 

But you have to remember a few important things: 

1) Imogen technically gave the Institute to Jace and Jace in turn made Alec Head. Now obviously the Clave decided to let this happen. But it means Alec’s leadership is already a little shaky. And then, on his watch, Valentine escaped. Alec has amazing intentions. He wants to be honest and open with the downworld. He wants to open communication and he wants to force the Clave to do better. He does. But he’s literally one Head of one Institute. And at the moment, he’s already got the Clave sending his father to look over his shoulder. Now, it’s pretty important he keeps this position because he knows and we all know how much keeping peace and bettering relations between the downworlders and the shadowhunters means to him on a personal level. 

2) He’s still a white boy shadowhunter. And for all his good intentions, he’s still unlearning some harmful behaviors and thought processes. And one of those is thinking he knows what’s good for the downworld. Because all shadowhunters are literally brought up to think they know better than the downworlders how to protect and police the downworld. Even those with the best intentions do this. Alec, Izzy, Jace. One of the first behaviors Clary learned as a shadowhunter was exactly this, hence keeping Luke out of the loop about the angel and then fucking tazering him. All because she thought she knew better. And she’s only been a shadowhunter for like… two months… Alec was indoctrinated into this. It’s not easy to shove that away. It’s not right, and I’m not excusing it. I’m saying it’s important to remember because it’s important to his growth. It’s exactly why he thinks he’s doing the right and good thing by not telling Magnus so Magnus doesn’t have to worry. Which brings us to…

3) I genuinely believe that Alec meant it when he said he didn’t want to put the decision on Magnus’ shoulders. This is two fold. One is that deep seated belief that downworlders need to be protected from themselves because shadowhunters know better. But with Magnus the bigger part comes from a place of love and care. He knows Magnus is fragile at the moment. He knows that he’s recovering from a severe trauma. The last thing he wants to do is make Magnus worry more. The last thing he wants is for Magnus to come into any more conflict because of him, or because of shadowhunters, or because of the Clave. He truly is trying to protect Magnus. He’s just doing it the wrong way. To be honest I actually think that before Magnus’ trauma Alec would have been more inclined to tell him. But again, he’s got two mind sets working against him and his natural setting Honesty All The Time. 

4) I still think Alec is a little… I don’t know how to say it but because of what happened with her mother I think Alec has developed a sort of blind spot for Clary. They aren’t really friends, but he’s more inclined to shove her into the mental group of To Be Trusted than he was before. I don’t think he thought oh I’ll tell Clary she’s more trustworthy than Magnus. I think he thought he would tell Jace because Jace is one of their best and maybe they can find Valentine and Jonathan and the damned sword before anyone has to tell anyone anything and he just accepted that Clary would be a part of what Jace did, because Jace and Clary don’t give a shit about following actual orders. So. 

All in all, I see both sides. And I see the points where both sides are right and both are wrong. Alec should have trusted Magnus, he should have trusted that if he’d asked Magnus to stay quiet on this or to even help finding the sword that Magnus would have done that. Would have stayed quiet and helped. Or maybe Magnus could have shown him why the Clave was wrong and it would be best to be honest with the downworld in it’s entirety.. But Alec didn’t give him that change. 

And Magnus, who has seriously been carrying around a lot of trauma and a lot of loss- warlocks were already dying in s1, he lost Ragnor, Dot was taken and tortured and experimented on by Valentine, he nearly lost Alec, his body was taken over, he was shoved into Valentine’s body and then tortured and nearly killed, he hasn’t been able to sleep, he’s reliving his absolute worst memories- and he was bound to reach a breaking point. He has a right to be angry. He even is allowed to lash out. But a lot of what he said to Alec was actually a low blow. He said it because he knew it would hurt Alec. And that’s not okay. Understandable, yes. We all reach this point sometimes. But not okay. The truth is that Alec is different from the Clave and his parents. And Magnus knows this. He’s just rightfully hurt and angry and feeling betrayed.

So my point, anon, after all this rambling is that it’s a very difficult situation. And the writing for 2b leading up to this has- mostly, not totally- been nuanced and well done. It was all leading up to this blow up. And from here I really think we’ll see Magnus and Alec find a way back from it and be stronger because of it. Because while fandom will pick sides and flip out and refuse to see both perspectives, Alec and Magnus have shown themselves to be very good at doing exactly that. They’re going to come out so much stronger for all of this. 

Sometimes you have to drain the wound.

anonymous asked:

What's Marx like versus Xander (like how does his personality differ between the original and localization)?

At his core, Marx and Xander are one and the same - they have the same motivations, the same fears, the same pieces of their personality.

But how the localization decided to write him is……. pretty different?

Like….. he’s in a weird place because he’s the same character through and through but it’s literally only the way he speaks is different, and it’s not even like what he’s saying during some parts is different, just the way he presents himself? if that makes sense?

A lot of what I’m going to say can actually be summed up by their respective voice actor’s portrayals of him. Konishi digs hella deep for his Marx voice and when he speaks it’s almost as if he’s having difficulty speaking. Not that he stutters or whatever, but there are deliberate pauses and the way his voice dips sometimes that makes it sound like he doesn’t want to say what he’s about to say/that he’s put careful deliberation into his words because there is more he wants to say, but can’t. David Stanbra, on the other hand, had a super dad voice, and Xander…… he sounds more forthcoming. He actually talks, like, a lot in the localization, whereas in the original script there are parts where he is silent or he starts or ends with ellipses, again driving home the point that his speech is well thought out (not that his speech isn’t well thought out in the localization - it’s just he doesn’t seem to be constantly torn over what he should and shouldn’t be saying)

All of this carries over to his written speech patterns. Marx’s speech patterns have that weight to them that carries everything I’ve already said about him being torn, as well as making for him sounding more intimidating. In Japanese, it’s really no wonder Sakura and others are afraid of him/think he’s intimidating. Xander…….. really doesn’t have the same kind of impact. He’s eloquent, of course, as a prince should be and as Marx is, but he doesn’t have the same weight coloring his speech.

For example - both Marx and Xander resort to death threats when Ryouma’s being a piece of shit to them (mostly because Marx/Xander actually really isn’t one to pettily argue - “opposing [him] equals death” (thanks original script)). In the original, he just sounds fuckin done. Ryouma says something inflammatory and Marx is just like “I will be happy to behead you” - it’s his kingly mask, his conqueror’s visage speaking. Xander…… well, his death threats sound more empty. He sounds like he’s resorting to death threats bc he can’t actually argue back and wants to make it sound like he just doesn’t wanna sink that low rather than actually being no-nonsense about this kinda stuff.

In Nohr chapter 6, in the localization, Xander says something about two princes facing off against each other being almost poetic or some shit. In the original script he says basically “Yeah, I should fight you bastard at least once” the implication being that he could just leave with Kamui but that he’s gonna humor Ryouma just to beat the shit out of him. It’s literally Marx’s way of saying “Never speak to me or my family ever again.”

And of course, this is only looking at his differences when angry, but it’s basically the same across the board.

If you want it broken down even further -

Xander carries himself like a typical crown prince. He’s eloquent in a princely way, he’s more openly affectionate (at least toward his family), in general he seems more approachable. He carries himself as a Prince before he carries himself as a Conqueror.

Marx, on the other hand, carries himself more like a war veteran. He’s eloquent in the way a conqueror offering mercy upon surrender is eloquent. He’s… more sparsely affectionate. Oh, you can tell affection is there and was always there, especially after openly receiving it from him, but his manner of speech still renders him….. not quite cold per se, but there’s a certain amount of distance it brings to him, like he’s standing far above you. He carries himself as a Conqueror before he carries himself as a Prince.

Also to note - Marx is a man heavily broken down by wanting to be justice but believing that justice does not exist. Even in the Nohr route, by the end of it he’s almost completely broken and it’s only Kamui’s stalwart belief in an “ideal” justice (instead of the “reality” of justice - i.e. being able to save absolutely everyone vs. having to kill to be able to save anything at all). His character arc comes to a close at the very last cutscene of the Nohr route where he muses about the concept of justice. He says that there was no justice in the last fight (i.e. that it did not exist), then backtracks and says that that isn’t for him to say. He then acknowledges justice as more than his narrow perception of what the world (aka all the shit that happened in Nohr bc of Garon, Ganz, and Iago), and calls it fragile and mutable….. finally coming to the conclusion that he will protect and uphold the justice he believes in (HE BELIEVES IN JUSTICE AGAIN GOD BLESS), and it is because of Kamui that he can do so.

Xander, on the other hand, says “justice is an illusion” but…….. While Marx says that justice doesn’t exist, only desire and ambition (aka the desires of men and the will to cut others down for it), Xander says that justice is illusion…. And in it’s stead, the only things they can hold onto are the desire to protect the ones they love and the ambition to something something i forget the full quote. BASICALLY, while he doesn’t believe in justice, he’s still come to his own conclusions about what he should believe in (which is a sort of justice even if he doesn’t brand it that way).

EDIT: THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY IMPORTANT BUT ITS IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!

Marx is actually pretty playful with his family. In chapter 1 AKA THE CHAPTER THAT CODIFIES HIM!!!! he teams up with Kamui to gang up on Leon and gently bully him. And by that I mean Kamui is oblivious altho what their saying is gentle bullying they still don’t really know, but MARX KNOWS BETTER AND STILL TEASES LEON ANYWAY. Then there’s his conversation with Lazaward in the Nohr Festival DLC where he bullies Laz about his stone.

Xander, at least in the first part doesn’t really come off as playful and im so sad im so sad ok i love that part of marx

YOI on Social Media
  • Yuuri: Grandpa when it comes to the internet, posts one photo every 7 months, always pictures of his skates or Viktor, has millions of followers and doesn't know what to do with them
  • Viktor: The average celebrity on social media, takes aesthetic pictures of landmarks, sleeping Makkachin, food, and Yuuri
  • Yurio: Follows everyone but never likes anyone else's posts, posts cat pictures and videos to show that he's better than you, doesn't take selfies often but will occaisonally for his fans
  • Otabek: Doesn't post much but more than Yuuri, selfies of him and Yurio together, motorcycle pictures, doesn't even follow other skaters aside from Yurio.
  • Chris: Spams every day. "It's only inappropriate if im COMPLETELY naked"
  • Phichit: Is the internet, posts all the gossip, writes his own fan fiction, runs 9 other gossip blogs, posts 24/7
  • Seung-gil: Caught up with all the latest gossip but never adds to it, many dog pictures, pictures of his aesthetic apartment, posts his own art
  • Guang-Hong: The most kawaii, has the most organized feed, laid out by pastel colors, posts regularly, only happiness, soo many fangirls including Leo.
  • Leo: Inspirational quotes daily, stalks Guang-Hong, pictures of his paintings, videos of him singing ( idk i just picture him singing)
  • Georgi: Wants attention, goes on rants about ex girlfriends, has a lot of feelings, makeup tutorials, reposts ex's old photos just to criticize.
  • JJ: His whole page is just selfies, he's too good for everyone, occasional pictures of his fiance,gold medal pictures.
  • Minami: Yuuri fanpage, absolute Yuuri trash #2 ( Viktor is #1) Head of the official Yuuri Katsuki fanclub.
  • Sara: basic person on social media, updates regularly, wide variety of photos, selfies, group pictures,photography, talks to her followers like they're all close friends.
  • Mickey: over protective of Sara even online, constantly stalks her, will fight any guy who comments on her photos, meanwhile posting nothing on his own account.
  • Emil: Fuckboy-ish attitude, shirtless pictures, cringey captions, really just wants a girlfriend
  • Mila: Workout videos, health tips and recipes, embarassing pictures of Yurio, Georgi, and Yakov
  • Minako: Posts ballet advertisements to get more new students, fangirls over all the skaters, posts especially when drunk
  • Axel,Lutz,and Loop: Keeps all the tabs on every single skater and how they're doing in competition, posts embarrassing photos of Yuuri and "exclusive" videos of him while he practices skating.
  • Yakov: What is i n t e r n e t ????? Often mistakes it for text message app and ALL CAPS TEXT SCREAMS AT YURIO ONLY TO REALIZE ITS NOT MESSAGES.
  • ~elena
small things i notice about the signs
  • aries: everyone sees them as angry but the ones ive met are pretty fucking chill?? they just get passionate or worked up about stuff sometimes
  • taurus: 'wAIT WAIT NO LET ME GET IT I CAN DO THIS' other than that, theyve got a p nice sense of humor i suppose, even if theyre bossy sometimes
  • gemini: funny people, they'll make you think that they don't even have any problems and are really strong and perfect, but bad things happen to them, all the time, they just don't always talk about it unless they know you well
  • cancer: surprisingly loud, usually likes anime, is the type of friend that shoves you a bit or punches you in the arm- sometimes sweet, sometimes sour, you never know really
  • leo: generally funny, the kind of person that makes offensive jokes that make you laugh anyways, or surprises you from behind a lot
  • virgo: usually pretty vague about stuff, especially if its something bothering them, doesn't make many jokes, but they try and thats great, ive never befriended a virgo so i cant say much
  • libra: likes to laugh at stuff, quite caring really, and has this feel to them that i cant describe. maybe that's what makes them so fun to hang out with? they really want to help you and be there for you, and you can tell
  • scorpio: they may not show it or say it but they do these little things that let you know they care a lot about you, and can be kind of protective. maybe they'll walk you home or something. they don't always speak of their problems but they're usually willing to hear yours.
  • sagittarius: emoji users. a lot of emojis. these people are pretty friendly, no matter how much they tell you about how they hate everything. surprisingly not all of them want to travel, but many want to escape their situation- start anew, make something fresh !
  • capricorn: they joke around quite often, and use their seriousness for comedy more often than not. many of them gravitate towards pisces like me, but we never become more than acquaintances. i do like capricorns, they're nicer than they might seem
  • aquarius: they have the drive to do what they want, even if they think it looks bad in the end or it seems time-consuming, they'll at least do it. they're really nice friends; relatable and dazed people, you can understand them.
  • pisces: usually likes music and/or art, makes awkward jokes and has more acquaintances than friends. not as emotional as people make them out to be. their anger and sadness are pretty indirect and hard to notice at first. you can't read their face well. their most prominent emotions are happiness and fear. overall, confused but friendly individuals.
  • Psychic: *reads my mind*
  • Me: Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's ♫ beautiful ♫ ! In the year negative a billion, Japan might not've been here. In the year -40,000 it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, so an iceberg melted, it became an island, and now there lot's of trees! Because it's warmer. So now there's people on the island and they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees, and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls. Ding dong, it's the outside world. And they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and crazy rice farms. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly super person, or emperor for short. Knock knock, get the door, it's religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from Baekje. "Please try this religion," he said. "No," said everybody. "Try it," he said. "No," said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. Then, the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms. Like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi China," they said. "Hi dipsh!t," said China. "Can you call us something else other than dipsh!t?" said Japan. "Like what?" said China. "How about ♫ sunrise land ♫ ?" said Japan. And they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book, about themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here, and they conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named Kūkai (空海) is bored with modern Buddhism and learns a better version which is more ♫ spiritual ♫ comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be ♫ great ♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a sh!t about governing the country. So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your sh!t from criminals? ♫ hire a samurai ♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Correction: rich, important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful. More than the government, so they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be "emperor," but the shogun is actually in control. Breaking news: the Mongols have invaded China. "We have invaded China," said the Mongols. "Please respect us, or we might invade you as well." "Okay," said Japan. So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and then died in a tornado. They tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornado. Then the emperor overthrew the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moved to Kyoto and makes a new shogunate, and the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that's fine. ♫ now there's more art ♫ Like paining with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. It's time for Who's Going To Be The Next Shogun? Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid, so he tries to et his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay, but then the shogun has a kid. So now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones! And everyone voted so hard, that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it's anybody's game. Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some sh!t. Like clocks. And guns. And ♫ Jesus ♫ So that's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control, now with guns. And wouldn't it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. This clan is ready to make a run for it. But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. Surprise! Smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. It goes very well. He's about halfway through conquering Japan, when someone who works for him kills him. And then someone else who works for him kills him. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And made some rules. "And now I'm going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China," he said, and failed, and also died. But before he died, he told these 5 guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the 5 guys said "Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid, it's gonna be one of us. Because we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than he others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight. He wins! And starts a new government right here. ♫ Edo ♫ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don't get confused, this is he new government, and they are very strict. So strict, they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, they want to buy and sell sh!t, but they have to do it right here. Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were opened, roads were built, everyone could read, books were published, poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Dutch studies. People studied European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity. Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow dow- .....Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. "Open the country. Stop having it be closed." said the United States. There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan when they want. Chōshu and Satsuma hated that. "Hat sucks," they said. "This sucks!" And with very little outside help, they overthrew he shogunate, and made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed Eastern Capital (東京). They made a new government, which was a lot more western. They made a new constitution, that was pretty western. And a military that was pretty western. And do you know what else is western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquered Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further, and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "Stop, no, you can't take that. We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a sh!t ton of soldiers, and when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a f*ck ton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade. And Japan says, "Can you maybe chill?" And Russia says, "How about maybe you chill?" Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kind of scared of Russia. Great Britain. So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. ♫ It's time for World War One ♫ The world is about to have a war, because it's the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants more. And the next thing on the list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands. All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on it by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, which was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France's @ss because France is friends with Russia, who was getting ready to kick Austria's @ss, because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia's @ss, because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's @ss, or actually he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh! ♫ Japan should take the islands ♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they called Britain on the telegram to sort of let them know. And hen they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan! You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes, where they decided who gets what, and, yes, Japan gets to keep all that sh!t they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫ the League of Nations ♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. The Great Depression is bad. Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria, and the League of Nations is line "no, don't do that, if you're in the League of Nations you're not supposed to take over the world," and Japan said, "♫ how about I do anyway ♫" and Japan invaded more and more and more and more of China and was planning to invade the whole entire east. You've got mail! It's from Germany. The new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world, and he needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. ♫ it's time for World War 2 ♫ Germany is invading their neighbors, then they invaded the neighbor's neighbors. Then the neighbor's neighbor's neighbor's who happens to be Britain said "holy sh!t" and the United States started helping Britain, because they are ♫ good friends ♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫ their friends and our friends are not friends, plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean ♫ The United States is also working on a large and very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case. But they still haven't joined the war. War looks bad on tv, and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii, and challenges hem to war, and they say yes. And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. So the United States goes to war in Europe, and they helped he gang chase Germany back into Germany. And hey also start chasing Japan back into Japan, and they haven't used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works. So they drop it on Japan. They actually dropped 2. The United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government. Just the right ingredients for a ♫ post-war economic miracle ♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. And hen he miracle wears off. But everything's still pretty cool, I guess. ♫ bye ♫
  • Psychic: what
  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's ♫ beautiful ♫ ! In the year negative a billion, Japan might not've been here. In the year -40,000 it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, so an iceberg melted, it became an island, and now there lot's of trees! Because it's warmer. So now there's people on the island and they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees, and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls. Ding dong, it's the outside world. And they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and crazy rice farms. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly super person, or emperor for short. Knock knock, get the door, it's religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from Baekje. "Please try this religion," he said. "No," said everybody. "Try it," he said. "No," said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. Then, the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms. Like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi China," they said. "Hi dipshit," said China. "Can you call us something else other than dipsh!t?" said Japan. "Like what?" said China. "How about ♫ sunrise land ♫ ?" said Japan. And they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book, about themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here, and they conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named Kūkai (空海) is bored with modern Buddhism and learns a better version which is more ♫ spiritual ♫ comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be ♫ great ♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a shit about governing the country. So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ♫ hire a samurai ♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Correction: rich, important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful. More than the government, so they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be "emperor," but the shogun is actually in control. Breaking news: the Mongols have invaded China. "We have invaded China," said the Mongols. "Please respect us, or we might invade you as well." "Okay," said Japan. So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and then died in a tornado. They tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornado. Then the emperor overthrew the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moved to Kyoto and makes a new shogunate, and the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that's fine. ♫ now there's more art ♫ Like paining with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. It's time for Who's Going To Be The Next Shogun? Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid, so he tries to et his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay, but then the shogun has a kid. So now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones! And everyone voted so hard, that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it's anybody's game. Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks. And guns. And ♫ Jesus ♫ So that's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control, now with guns. And wouldn't it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. This clan is ready to make a run for it. But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. Surprise! Smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. It goes very well. He's about halfway through conquering Japan, when someone who works for him kills him. And then someone else who works for him kills him. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And made some rules. "And now I'm going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China," he said, and failed, and also died. But before he died, he told these 5 guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the 5 guys said "Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid, it's gonna be one of us. Because we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than he others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight. He wins! And starts a new government right here. ♫ Edo ♫ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don't get confused, this is he new government, and they are very strict. So strict, they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, they want to buy and sell sh!t, but they have to do it right here. Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were opened, roads were built, everyone could read, books were published, poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Dutch studies. People studied European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity. Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow dow- .....Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. "Open the country. Stop having it be closed." said the United States. There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan when they want. Chōshu and Satsuma hated that. "Hat sucks," they said. "This sucks!" And with very little outside help, they overthrew he shogunate, and made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed Eastern Capital (東京). They made a new government, which was a lot more western. They made a new constitution, that was pretty western. And a military that was pretty western. And do you know what else is western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquered Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further, and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "Stop, no, you can't take that. We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers, and when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuck ton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade. And Japan says, "Can you maybe chill?" And Russia says, "How about maybe YOU chill?" Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kind of scared of Russia. Great Britain. So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. ♫ It's time for World War One ♫ The world is about to have a war, because it's the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants more. And the next thing on the list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands. All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on it by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, which was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France's ass because France is friends with Russia, who was getting ready to kick Austria's ass, because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia's ass, because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's ass, or actually he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh! ♫ Japan should take the islands ♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they called Britain on the telegram to sort of let them know. And then they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan! You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes, where they decided who gets what, and, yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫ the League of Nations ♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. The Great Depression is bad. Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria, and the League of Nations is line "no, don't do that, if you're in the League of Nations you're not supposed to take over the world," and Japan said, "♫ how about I do anyway ♫" and Japan invaded more and more and more and more of China and was planning to invade the whole entire east. You've got mail! It's from Germany. The new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world, and he needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. ♫ it's time for World War 2 ♫ Germany is invading their neighbors, then they invaded the neighbor's neighbors. Then the neighbor's neighbor's neighbor's who happens to be Britain said "holy shit" and the United States started helping Britain, because they are ♫ good friends ♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫ their friends and our friends are not friends, plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean ♫ The United States is also working on a large and very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case. But they still haven't joined the war. War looks bad on tv, and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii, and challenges hem to war, and they say yes. And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. So the United States goes to war in Europe, and they helped he gang chase Germany back into Germany. And they also start chasing Japan back into Japan, and they haven't used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works. So they drop it on Japan. They actually dropped 2. The United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government. Just the right ingredients for a ♫ post-war economic miracle ♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. And hen he miracle wears off. But everything's still pretty cool, I guess. ♫ bye ♫
Things I want to tell the signs ( based on people I know )
  • Aries: happiness and love and lust are infinite. You won't run out of them. Remember the difference between being selfish and putting yourself first for your own good. No one is going to punish you for the latter. Stick to faking it till you made it. I know you'll make it. And it'll all be as real as you are, and it'll be overwhelming.
  • Taurus: you are capable of so much more than you think you are. You are not a supporting role, you are the star in a movie with a happy ending. Life will reward you for being so patient, supportive and kind. I'm sorry you're being underappreciated so often. You deserve the world and more. I wish I could protect you, but I know you're strong enough to save yourself.
  • Gemini: people will judge you before they try to understand. Don't waste your time on those who don't bother to really get to know you, they don't deserve to be around you, anyway. Your reputation is a shield. You can be cruel, you can be cold, but those who accuse you of having stabbed their back don't see the open wounds on yours. You're a book with many pages. Don't let them take the pen from you.
  • Cancer: let go. Let go of the past, let go of your fear, let go of your worries. The burden on your chest is only heavy cause you cling to it. Nothing bad is going to happen if you dare a little more and fear a little less. Forgive and forget. You're going to be okay. Don't hold on to your grudges. Hold on to your hope for a good future. It'll pay off to move on.
  • Leo: barking dogs never bite, roaring lions don't do, either. You're too afraid of coming off weak to put down your grim mask, but it's time for you to realise that vulnerability doesn't make you less of a respectable person. You don't need to be intimidating to be admired, and you don't need to hurt people to leave an impression. Even when you're at a low point, you'll always have someone looking up to you. Why are you so scared of being scared?
  • Virgo: it doesn't have to hurt to be real. It doesn't have to be perfect to be worth it. It doesn't have to be everything to be enough. It doesn't have to be complete to be fullfilling. You don't have to be numb to be safe from negative feelings. It doesn't have to overwhelm you to have a meaning. You don't have to shut down to protect yourself. You don't have to be so cruel to keep people at distance. It's not a game just cause you like to play. You don't always have to be the winner.
  • Libra: to me, you're like the ocean. You come and go, you give and take. You can be dangerous and wild, you can be calm and steady. No matter what, when I'm with you, I feel home. You're a blessing to the people around you. Full of surprises, yet reliable. Daring, yet reasonable. You do not have to choose.You can be all of it and everything you want to be. Having a libra as a friend means having a friend for a lifetime without the boredom of having gotten used to something, because one can impossibly get used to you. Always remember your worth.
  • Scorpio: you're the kind of person people write about. You will be remembered. For what you did and who you are. Trust your guts. Your feelings are valid. You will prove them all wrong, everyone who ever doubted you, and when they'll come to apologise, you will be mature enough to forgive them. I wish I was more like you.
  • Saggitaurus: the last song at a rock show, fireworks in July, the first bite of a good meal after being hungry for so long, that's what you are to me. You're a radiant, powerful person, an achiever, you don't just talk, you act on it. But let me tell you, you'll still succeed even when you lower the pressure you put on yourself. I can promise you that you'll reach your destination even if you slow down cause your feet startet aching a long time ago. Give yourself a rest. You deserve it.
  • Capricorn: when someone says they value you, they mean it. When someone says they want you in their life, they mean it. When someone says you're beautiful, they're right. Learn to trust others. Yes, you can always rely on yourself. Yes, in the end, you only got yourself. But there's plenty of people out there who see your potential and want to help you and be there for you. There's many people out there who enjoy spending time with you. You won't lose yourself if you give a bit yourself to others.
  • Aquarius: how do you do it? What is your secret? You're a mystery to me. We could spend each day of the week together, talk for hours, because talking to you is stimulating, inspiring, refreshing, and you could tell me about yourself, but I'd still feel like I could never possibly know everything about you and get a grip of who you really are. You're a painting in pale colours that has come to life and it's blurry around the edges. But that's exactly what completes you: The lack of edges. The infinity of all the possible answers to the questions I want to ask you.
  • Pisces: don't confuse taking things easy with being too careless. You might end up hurting someone without even wanting to. Don't confuse being wanted with being loved. You deserve more than just their appreciation, so don't settle for less just cause it's easier. Sometimes you have to pull yourself together and face the ugly truth, but if you've made it through the storm, your life will be a beach by sunset and all you've ever dreamed of will come true.
nct as otome game characters
  • taeyong: incredibly handsome and charismatic-but-intimidating type. very talented, but can appear very cold at a first glance, which is why people who don't know him are scared of him. actually soft and doting, and cares for the mc a lot in all of the routes. usually referred to as mother by the other members because he likes to give a lot of advice and usually scolds them when they do something wrong and/or unhealthy.
  • ten: youthful and carefree type. reputed as a bit of a playboy due to his popularity with girls, but he's actually quite innocent (despite being fairly playful and sometimes inappropriate) and shy, although he knows a lot of people. flirts with the mc occasionally, although he reveals his more abstract and dreamer-like side to the mc in his route.
  • jaehyun: all rounder type. studies well, is athletic, has many friends, and is popular with girls due to his good looks and sweet personality. has quite a bit of dating experience and can occasionally be a little perverted, but he's actually quite sensitive and wants the mc (and the other members) to be happy. will go to the ends of the earth to make sure the mc is happy and content in his route.
  • doyoung: scrupulous and studious type. can be quite awkward and occasionally has trouble understanding emotions, but he knows for a fact that he feels something for the mc that's different from everyone else. has a clear and gentle singing voice that charms everyone. will send the mc long texts asking them if they're okay and telling them to take care of themself. tends to be a little sassy, but to be honest, in his route, he'll do whatever the mc asks of him if it's within his grasp.
  • taeil: smart but awkward type. has trouble expressing his feelings and is constantly teased by the younger members. wants to tell the mc how he feels about them, but he's so bad at showing his emotions that really, he seems to almost distance himself from them. in his route, he's surprisingly tender and will not hesitate to sing/serenade the mc to sleep if they can't rest. actually, if the mc asks him to sing, there's a 99% chance he will.
  • hansol: silent and strong type. generally reserved and doesn't talk much, but he keeps a silent and watchful eye over the mc in case they need help, in which he'll be there. the kind of interest that'll quietly protect and sacrifice for the mc without them knowing. a little curt and taciturn, but he makes a greater effort to be more expressive and talkative around the mc. secretly gets upset and pouty when ignored by the mc when he wants their attention.
  • kun: shy and quiet type. usually found in quiet areas (ex. the library) because he doesn't like loud noises or rowdy people. good friends with winwin. once warming up to the mc, he's actually surprisingly humorous and playful, but is noticeably very sweet to the mc and makes sure to fulfill their needs, although he doesn't mind pranking them once in a while. a cutie who cares a lot for everyone.
  • johnny: sarcastic and troll type. always joking around and mentioning his beautifully well crafted looks (which, admittedly is true), and he likes to make people laugh and therefore plays quite a few pranks and makes lots of jokes. the type to say really cheesy one liners and pickup lines to the mc in his route, although, really, he'll do that in all of them. is and will be sassy when he wants to be.
  • yuta: manly and independent type. adapts well to new environments, and is quite smart. has trouble controlling his emotions (especially his temper) at times, and although he doesn't like to admit it, he cries a little too easily when emotional. can become irritable when disrespected or around people who have no respect, but once he realizes the mc is a genuine and respectable person, he becomes very protective, even possessive, of them. the type to make mild threats when the mc disobeys him (ex. "If you don't come over, I'll bite you.").
  • winwin: gentle and pure type. very charming smile, practices diligently to make up for any communication issues. can be surprisingly childish/innocent at times, and becomes a little--very--attached to the mc in his route. the type to ask the mc where they're going or what they're doing that day, or if they want anything. very gentle, but when anyone messes with the mc or the members, he can lose his temper quickly.
  • mark: cute, naive, and innocent sunshine who gets really nervous around mc and is a stuttering mess because he just wants the mc to love him and give him their attention. adorable but lowkey mess that everyone secretly loves. even if you don't choose his route you probably still love him. actually very talented and diligent, but tends to lack confidence in himself.
  • renjun: studious type who always likes to patiently explain things to the mc whenever they ask because honestly, he wants to help them in any way he can. pure and will take care of and look out for the mc, even if he's not the main love interest. can be either a big brother figure (in other routes) or a cute and considerate boyfriend (in his route).
  • haechan: sassy tsundere who appears to simply view the mc as a toy or a person to constantly tease; however, he grows to love them when he recognizes their kindness and bright personality. quite protective of the mc, doesn't like it when the other characters tease the mc too much in his route (he turns up the sass), and he likes to tease mark a lot.
  • jaemin: flirty aegyo type who is constantly asking the mc if he's cute and if they like him (even if they say they don't, they know they're lying~). the type to use lots of emojis and just wants the mc to relax and trust him. will get jealous fairly easily, can and will become clingy to the mc in pretty much all the routes. very playful, likes teasing the other characters, but knows not to cross any boundaries.
  • jeno: calm and mature prince type with a killer eyesmile. the type to be very popular with girls despite not trying particularly hard to become that way. sometimes referred to as a straight arrow and, occasionally, a stiff board (courtesy of jaemin) because he's really considerate and therefore doesn't like teasing people that much (although jokes are another thing). gentleman to mc, very gentle and soft despite the rare sass and smart-alecky responses.
  • chenle: very talented and peaceful love interest who is usually quite busy but still manages to be cheerful. the idol type who at first suffered from communication issues, but when he grew more comfortable, he turns out to be quite mischievous but also clever and excitable. the type to always talk to the mc and show them something he's done or finds cool.
  • jisung: mature and intelligent type who appears very shy before warming up. passionate about dancing, tends to act cool, but because of his young age and pretty face, he's called cute. doesn't voice his thoughts, and is quite patient. falls for the mc when they listen to him and support him, and becomes a bit of a timid, lovesick type. respects the mc despite fooling around with his hyungs.
The signs as people I know
  • Aries: Super outgoing. Hipster look, probably dyes their hair, has a very distinctive style they stick to. Knows how to make their opinion heard, super sweet and nice, but doesn't take shit from anyone. Loves weird/old-fashioned things. Can be incredibly stubborn when they think they're right.
  • Taurus: Literally always talking about food i am not kidding, weird obsession with cheese. Has an artistic side, very visual/sensual type of intelligence. Loves to travel and won't hesitate to engage in completely new things and leave for countries miles away. Brutally honest, to the point of lacking tact sometimes.
  • Gemini: The most incredible style, the kind of person that makes you think "this outfit could fit no one but them". Amazing fashion sense, probably has a fashion blog. Seems cute but distant when you don't know them, but is actually a HUGE DORK with their friends. Likes cooking and baking. Has strong opinions and is very defensive about them.
  • Cancer: The cutest cinnamon roll. In their group of friends, is either the tiny baby to protect at all costs, or the tiny mom who protects everyone. Quite shy and appears reserved, but when you get to know them, literally DOES NOT SHUT UP. Driven person who goes to great lengths to reach their ideal life.
  • Leo: That very cool friend you love to hang out with because they are SO FUN. Tries very hard to be great at what they do, wants to reach excellence. Has loads of interesting stories to tell, never boring. Usually has a job in a visual, artistic field, like photography or cinema.
  • Virgo: Lethal sarcasm. Can be very patronizing, with a "better than you" attitude, but is also very attached and loyal to their friends. Has a lot of knowledge on many subjects, truly smart person, but doesn't like being proven wrong. So beautiful and perfect in everything they almost seem otherworldly.
  • Libra: Very, very fun person. Quite eccentric, to the point where it can be overwhelming to some people. Super chill, never mad at anyone, cannot hold a grudge. Dislikes conflict, but still has strong opinions they like to voice. Spent at least a year abroad for their studies, feels like they are "people of the world".
  • Scorpio: Reverse-Cancers: seems very nice and affable at first, but is in fact quite distant and hides their emotions. That friend that you feel you never truly know. Incredibly romantic, thinks a lot about love, almost in love with love. Literal kings and queens of sarcasm and passive-aggression.
  • Sagittarius: Makes friends easily, but has their true friends who followed them through life they'll never give up. Incredibly funny, the best sense of humour. Doesn't hesitate to tell people what they think about them. Takes their time to open up, but once they do, are the best of friends. Has long relationships or nothing.
  • Capricorn: SO. MANY. PUNS. Stop them. Very ambitious person, who likes to rise high, but prone to give up if they don't get what they want fast. Opportunist. Fell in love once and never truly grew out of it. Lies even to their best friends if they think it's in their own best interest, but ends up in huge misunderstandings because of it.
  • Aquarius: Very, very smart, despite seeming somewhat ditzy/air-headed. Loves to argue for the sake of arguing. Super magnetic, the kind of person you instantly notice. Both very outgoing and very controlling of their emotions, even with their closest friends. Laughs at almost every joke. Has the weirdest relationships, but they always work out.
  • Pisces: So incredibly cute, but also super kinky, i swear they're the kinkiest, sexiest mofos. Incredibly artistic, probably draws or dances or does music for a living. Seems very shy and awkward, but is in fact a big dorky nerd. Falls in and out of love every single second.
The Signs as Friends
  • Aries: The friend that will always be there for you. They would literally go to war for you. If someone insults you, they take the bullet and throw it back. They are very protective. And they need you to be for them what they are for you. They give and they want to receive.
  • Taurus: A Taurus friend is a friend who will protect you even if you're not there. They won't gossip about you. They wish they could protect you from all harm and they do their best to make you feel alright. They love to hang out with you and ask you to do something you both enjoy regulary. They really see you as a part of them.
  • Gemini: The friend that always has your back. They support you and stand up for you. If you're in trouble, they'll help you out and don't ask how you got into it although they are so very curious. They respect you and they know that "no" means no. They aren't mad if you don't want to hang out or something.
  • Cancer: They are A+ wing-(wo)men. They always know who you have a crush on and they have no problem with finding out more about your crush and get you two together. They are the friends you can ask to spy someone and they won't ask too many questions. You can trust them with everything. If someone treats you badly, they will punch that person in the face.
  • Leo: The honest friend. That dress doesn't look good on you? They'll tell you. They won't lie to you and that means you matter to them. They will be the first one to applaud when you win and they ask you to do the same for them. As much as they support you, they want to be supported by you.
  • Virgo: The friend that makes you a plan. They can't have it when their friends are left in the unknown so they help them out of it. Usually the friend that always asks you how you're doing and if you studied for that test. They really care about you. When you don't know what to do they will be there and guide you.
  • Libra: The friend that knows everything about everyone. If someone talks shit about you behind your back they'll tell you immediately and find out something about that person that you can use against them. They take you out to new places, show you cool new things and share all their secrets with you.
  • Scorpio: The Scorpio-friend is the friend that honestly cares. They can literally sense when you lie or when you're hiding something from them and they won't let you go until you told them what it is that bothers you. They know how to help you and cheer you up. And if you tell them to, they will destroy the person that did you wrong.
  • Saggitarius: The friend that keeps you up-to-date. They find out something new? You're the first person they'll tell about it. They know all the cool locations and the latest trends and they take you with them to explore the world. They really bring joy into your life.
  • Capricorn: The brilliant advisor. They are always by your side and ready to help you out of a situation you're stuck in. They guide you through the tough days of your life and always give brilliant advices that you actually need. They are loyal until the very end and after it.
  • Aquarius: The friend that spontaneously takes you on an adventure. Suddenly they're at your door with packed bags and ask you to come with them. They also take very good care of you and make the coolest presents because they know you better than you think they do.
  • Pisces: The friend that supports you but that will also tell you when you're talking shit. They usually know what you need and will do anything to provide your wellbeing. They will go through hell with you and give you everything they have. But be careful - they too know more than you think they do. They always know.
The Signs as People I've Come To Know
  • Note that everyone described was born under the sign they are listed next to.
  • Aries: He doesn't really know fear, but when he does it's intense fear. More than anything, he is a daredevil, going from place to place and from person to person quickly and dangerously. He tells jokes until they're soiled and sour and you just wanna tell him to shut up, but you know you aren't going to because his stupid jokes that often make no sense and aren't even funny are all a part of what makes him who he is, so you can't help but laugh, and at the end of the day that's a person you find yourself always coming back for. A person you just genuinely want to be around for a long time. He can be air headed, but he protects ferociously and is endearingly kind to strangers. Inside, he never quite lost his childlike nature, something I hope he can one day embrace. I also hope he can one day understand, he is not his mistakes.
  • Taurus: She has a lot to say that she keeps inside, but whenever she does speak it is always soulful and insightful beyond description. It's so easy for her to get lost in her own mind, and though she doesn't care to admit it, it happens a lot that she shuts down and isolates herself. But everything is honestly better when she's around. Sometimes it's hard to convince her of that, but she has an inner and outer beauty that glows on everyone she meets. She doesn't realize other people take notice of her radiance. When she retreats, it's not uncommon for her to be quiet and not really know how to explain why she's feeling the way she is, and yet she approaches things with such an extreme level of insight and consideration. She makes everyone around her proud. Introverted as she may be, she pampers all her friends, even when they may not deserve it, and she's more brave and outspoken than I think she understands. She is one of the people who genuinely makes me happy.
  • Gemini: She is curious about almost anything and everything, and invests fully into things that interest her. It's actually beyond pleasant to watch her work out a task she loves working on, or talk about anything she loves in general, because her eyes light up and she has this smile on her face and you can just tell in that moment she loves being heard and she loves sharing what she's come to find wonderful with someone. I wouldn't call her quiet, at times she is, but I would first use the adjective "thoughtful" to describe her, as her mind is constantly generating new ideas. She processes and remembers information quickly and speaks about her feelings almost fluently. More than anything, I hope she knows I am always there for her. I hope she knows how much people love her. She is so kind, and a delight to be around.
  • Cancer: She has been through a lot. She used to walk through life with a heavy heart, but she is trying to learn how to remove the crutches and take everything as it comes. Very driven by her emotions, she experiences drastically different periods of highs and lows, but never lets anyone go to bed without knowing how much she loves them and cares about them. She has certainly been done wrong by the world, and this has led her to experience frequent trust issues and to on occasion become suspicious about other people's motives. However, this doesn't stop her from giving her all to those she loves, even if at times they may not completely deserve her help or her advice. She often settles for less than what she deserves, but I hope that she can eventually come to understand she need not settle and need not cater to people who do her wrong. She should look out for herself too, it's something she owes herself.
  • Leo: Though I haven't known her for very long, it's clear how influential she is and how in tune she is to other people's feelings. She seems very open to the world around her, and has no problem expressing herself without fear of what other people may think. She always does her makeup almost flawlessly, and you can tell she dresses for herself and no one else, and only worries about impressing one person, her. She is extremely loyal to those she cares about, and often talks about them as if they are wonders of the world. Even if you haven't spoken to her before, you will want to, because she gives off extremely positive and warm vibes, and publicly stands for everything and everyone she happens to believe in. She has a big personality, but a beautiful one at that, she is a true individual, and is one of the only other Leo's I've come to know, as well as one I hope to know better soon.
  • Virgo: She is wise beyond her years. She often works harder than most adults I've seen, although she is young in age. She always wants to make sure she has a say, but it's just as important to her that other people do, too. Other people don't always treat her as nicely as she deserves to be treated, and it's because they think they don't understand her, but in reality, they wish they had the heart and bravery that she does. She has accomplished and been through so much in such a short period of time, and she never let it taint all the love in her heart. She can be a bit anxious and scared, waking up at night after a nightmare or worrying she has not done her best, but she always gives her all, and I strongly believe there is nothing she cannot surmount or accomplish. Always willing, always eager to help. I wish I had her strength. I wish I had the beauty of her soul. I hope she someday sees how magnificent she is.
  • Libra: He is a character, he has always been a character dating back from the first day that we met. Everything he does and everything he says is with good intent and magnifies his already vibrant personality. Overall, he is a people's person, friends with everyone who is kind and attentive toward him. And he plans to keep it that way. He always tries to see the best in everyone. Although sometimes he cannot continue this and experiences outbursts of anger, they are usually temporary and he can move on from situations quickly. He is a marvelous friend. Creative, funny, often indirect, but always there in some form. Half the things that Come out of his mouth are jokes, but when he speaks and he's being serious, all you can hear is his heart speaking too. He's great to have around.
  • Scorpio: He says that he has a twisted mind, but really he's just into a lot of horror movies and has extreme reactions to otherwise small situations. I couldn't see him harming a fly, unless the fly went and did something to really piss him off. He can be a little self centered, but he is also self sufficient and just wants to make sure he himself is okay. When he starts something, it'll get done before he moves onto the next thing, and he's not really one to leave anyone with unanswered questions as he's pretty intense and direct. He's great to talk to because no silence is ever awkward, some of those silences are necessary and he knows it. He won't let things stay quiet for too long, either. One of my favorite things about him is once you've been a part of his life, he'll never forget about you. Even if you're miles and miles away.
  • Sagittarius: He gets extremely excited about small things, like going on a trip or hanging out with his friends and playing video games. He knows no part of life is insignificant, and that everything we go through either means something or leads to something else, but he also knows when to let go and stop worrying about things that are out of his control. Overall, he loves to have fun. He loves to laugh with his friends and share what makes him happy. When people disagree with him, he can become rather snippy, and might even resort to telling them they are flat out "wrong." He doesn't realize he's being rude, but often it just doesn't come out the way he would like because he speaks exceedingly freely. That's what he is, a free spirit. He makes decisions for himself and is not afraid of his opinions. He will share them willingly with anyone who asks and takes great pride in being who he is and leading the adventure called his life.
  • Capricorn: She is aware of who she is, what her limits are, and what her intentions are as well. Though sometimes she surprises others by acting the way one wouldn't have expected, she is consistently trying to take responsibility for things she know she's done wrong and does not like it when people refuse to acknowledge it when she has been acting like a fool. She holds herself accountable for many things, even when they are not exactly her fault, and she refuses to be kept in the dark for too long. When people don't like her, she wants an explanation, because she always tries to do her best and be the best version of herself she can become. It hurts her to consider that she is not doing well with that. She wants stability and security, she wants to be able to feel safe in situations, and that's all a part of what she fights for. Overall, life is a fight she does not want to lose. And one she will not allow herself to.
  • Aquarius: She is one of the most artistic people I've had the privilege of meeting, and decorates everywhere she goes and everything she creates with her glowingly positive vibes. She cares deeply about her friends, and however quiet she has a brilliant way of words, and is a phenomenal person to have a late night (or any time of day really) conversation with. She understands life on a deep level that not a lot of people do. Although she may not always feel comfortable completely showing her emotions, she is not afraid to be in touch with them and always knows how to nicely phrase them. I'm grateful that when I ask her what's wrong, she doesn't lie to me and she trusts me enough to talk to me about it. I know it's not always the type of thing that's easy for her. She is artistically talented in every aspect, and aims to perfect her performance in all she does. But honestly, the way she adds her own flair to all she accomplishes and makes it so original is an amazing thing to witness in itself.
  • Pisces: He doesn't understand the impact he can have on others. It is not uncommon for him to get so lost in his thoughts he forgets about the rest of the world, but he seemingly always finds his way back. Whenever he drifts, he will usually talk about it at one point or another, and he always has all these philosophical things to say that never cease to amaze me. His speech is always sweet and fluid, and he always sees things, both their interior and their exterior. Even though sometimes he asks silly questions, he's highly perceptive and caring. He loves having a good time, but he loves talking about life and all it entails as well, and he knows that both those things can overlap. He's one of the greatest friends I think I will ever know, and he always tries to be, even if at times he can't. I wish he came out everyday.
The signs as I know them
  • Aries: on the surface they seem carefree, maybe even arrogant and cocky, but they will go to the ends of the earth and beyond to help those they care about. Brave. Never say no to a new adventure or experience. The smell of freshly mowed grass. The feeling you get when you're the last one to be found during hide and seek.
  • Taurus: ayyyy my people. Soft-spoken, typically the "mom friend". Always have band aids and aspirin on them. Big, kind eyes and the smell of clean laundry. Stubborn as fuck, it takes a LOT to make a Taurus give up on you. The smell of fresh baked cookies. The feeling of crawling into bed after you've washed your sheets.
  • Gemini: kinda get a bad rep, but I've only met a few chill gems. Most are fickle. Can't make up their mind. Can go from being sweet and kind one second to furious and bitter the next. You'll be best friends one day and then they'll suddenly drop you. Always down for Netflix and chill. The feeling you get when you're stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel. The smell of a bonfire.
  • Cancer: they just wanna help, bless their hearts. Drives a mom van. Loves Disney. The "big sister" friend. Will remind you to take your birth control. Good at prioritizing. Will help you take care of your eyebrows. Very sensitive to what you say and how you say it. Protective of family. Loves to cuddle. The smell of a just washed car. The feeling of being part of a secret club
  • Leo: pretentious assholes you can't help but love. Will kick your ass in math class. Is probably smarter than you, they might rub it in your face. Stays in their lane. Down for a nap always. Has no problem being around lots of people but prefers to be alone. The smell of cigarettes and old books. The feeling you get when you finally solve a difficult problem.
  • Virgo: there's a few types of virgos. 1) always stressed. Always striving to be the best they can be. Finds comfort in their favorite book and/or music. Needs someone to listen. Their friends = family. 2) complains. All. The. Time. Just never stops. Listens to music too loudly. Cares a fuckton but also couldn't give a shit. Insecure about their hair. Tries to be friends with everyone. 3) the nature babies. Creative as hell. Will dance barefoot in the rain. Not good at using computers. The smell of jasmine and honeysuckle. Will take you to coffee and not let you pay.
  • Libra: always has at least one loud feature (hair, voice, style, appearance) meme loving fucks. Will always laugh at a bad situation to cope. Can be really sarcastic, but also very sincere. Good eyebrows. Slightly aloof. Dog people. The smell of whiskey and Coke. The feeling of dancing around the house when you're home alone.
  • Scorpio: definitely not dark and scary, although they tend to be pessimistic. They put up with a lot of shit before they snap. They're always poking fun and teasing the people they love. They fall in love with people who walk all over them, but they love it. Very childlike. Warm eyes with a little sadness in them. The smell of Irish Spring soap. The feeling of going on a joyride.
  • Sagittarius: the funniest sign ever. Will make you laugh until you pee your pants. Probably your best friend in middle school that you drifted apart from in high school. Will have you pass notes to their crush for them in class. Laughs about a joke hours after it's been told. Remembers little details about you that you didn't expect them to remember. The smell of tea with honey. The feeling of lighting sparklers on Fourth of July.
  • Capricorn: they're one of the most emotional signs. Their mood is fragile. Have expensive taste. Love fiercely. Eyes on the back of their heads. Best death stare. "Can I speak to your manager?" The deadly calm before the storm. Will guilt trip you with no regrets. Doesn't really apologize but makes you apologize constantly. Will dry your tears. Dances in the car. Loves the outdoors but act like divas. The smell of Chanel No. 5. The feeling of blowing the dust off an old vinyl.
  • Aquarius: either super chill or no chill. If they're passionate about something they will constantly talk about it. Shit talks people in the nicest way. Doesn't really like school but still gets shit done. Independent spirits. Set in their ways. Love routines, but isn't opposed to trying new things. The feeling of sleeping with the window open at dawn. Candlelight and poster covered bedrooms.
  • Pisces: ethereal. Ever growing and changing. Can be assertive and demand respect when necessary. Loyal. Can be childlike or grumpy old man-ish. Very down to earth but can be very aloof as well. They show their love through their actions, not words. They don't really hug people unless they have deemed the hug receiver worthy. Unique taste in music and art. The smell of fresh paint. Making wishes on dandelions.
  • Psychic: *reads my mind*
  • Me: Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's ♫ beautiful ♫ ! In the year negative a billion, Japan might not've been here. In the year -40,000 it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, so an iceberg melted, it became an island, and now there lot's of trees! Because it's warmer. So now there's people on the island and they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees, and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls. Ding dong, it's the outside world. And they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and crazy rice farms. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly super person, or emperor for short. Knock knock, get the door, it's religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from Baekje. "Please try this religion," he said. "No," said everybody. "Try it," he said. "No," said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. Then, the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms. Like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi China," they said. "Hi dipshit," said China. "Can you call us something else other than dipsh!t?" said Japan. "Like what?" said China. "How about ♫ sunrise land ♫ ?" said Japan. And they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book, about themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here, and they conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named Kūkai (空海) is bored with modern Buddhism and learns a better version which is more ♫ spiritual ♫ comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be ♫ great ♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a shit about governing the country. So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ♫ hire a samurai ♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Correction: rich, important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful. More than the government, so they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be "emperor," but the shogun is actually in control. Breaking news: the Mongols have invaded China. "We have invaded China," said the Mongols. "Please respect us, or we might invade you as well." "Okay," said Japan. So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and then died in a tornado. They tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornado. Then the emperor overthrew the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moved to Kyoto and makes a new shogunate, and the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that's fine. ♫ now there's more art ♫ Like paining with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. It's time for Who's Going To Be The Next Shogun? Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid, so he tries to et his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay, but then the shogun has a kid. So now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones! And everyone voted so hard, that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it's anybody's game. Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks. And guns. And ♫ Jesus ♫ So that's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control, now with guns. And wouldn't it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. This clan is ready to make a run for it. But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. Surprise! Smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. It goes very well. He's about halfway through conquering Japan, when someone who works for him kills him. And then someone else who works for him kills him. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And made some rules. "And now I'm going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China," he said, and failed, and also died. But before he died, he told these 5 guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the 5 guys said "Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid, it's gonna be one of us. Because we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than he others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight. He wins! And starts a new government right here. ♫ Edo ♫ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don't get confused, this is he new government, and they are very strict. So strict, they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, they want to buy and sell sh!t, but they have to do it right here. Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were opened, roads were built, everyone could read, books were published, poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Dutch studies. People studied European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity. Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow dow- .....Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. "Open the country. Stop having it be closed." said the United States. There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan when they want. Chōshu and Satsuma hated that. "Hat sucks," they said. "This sucks!" And with very little outside help, they overthrew he shogunate, and made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed Eastern Capital (東京). They made a new government, which was a lot more western. They made a new constitution, that was pretty western. And a military that was pretty western. And do you know what else is western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquered Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further, and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "Stop, no, you can't take that. We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers, and when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuck ton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade. And Japan says, "Can you maybe chill?" And Russia says, "How about maybe YOU chill?" Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kind of scared of Russia. Great Britain. So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. ♫ It's time for World War One ♫ The world is about to have a war, because it's the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants more. And the next thing on the list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands. All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on it by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, which was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France's ass because France is friends with Russia, who was getting ready to kick Austria's ass, because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia's ass, because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's ass, or actually he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh! ♫ Japan should take the islands ♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they called Britain on the telegram to sort of let them know. And then they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan! You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes, where they decided who gets what, and, yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫ the League of Nations ♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. The Clutch Plague is bad. Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria, and the League of Nations is line "no, don't do that, if you're in the League of Nations you're not supposed to take over the world," and Japan said, "♫ how about I do anyway ♫" and Japan invaded more and more and more and more of China and was planning to invade the whole entire east. You've got mail! It's from Germany. The new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world, and he needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. ♫ it's time for World War 2 ♫ Germany is invading their neighbors, then they invaded the neighbor's neighbors. Then the neighbor's neighbor's neighbor's who happens to be Britain said "holy shit" and the United States started helping Britain, because they are ♫ good friends ♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫ their friends and our friends are not friends, plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean ♫ The United States is also working on a large and very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case. But they still haven't joined the war. War looks bad on tv, and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii, and challenges hem to war, and they say yes. And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. So the United States goes to war in Europe, and they helped he gang chase Germany back into Germany. And they also start chasing Japan back into Japan, and they haven't used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works. So they drop it on Japan. They actually dropped 2. The United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government. Just the right ingredients for a ♫ post-war economic miracle ♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. And hen he miracle wears off. But everything's still pretty cool, I guess. ♫ bye ♫
  • Psychic: what the fu-
  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's ♫ beautiful ♫ ! In the year negative a billion, Japan might not've been here. In the year -40,000 it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, so an iceberg melted, it became an island, and now there lot's of trees! Because it's warmer. So now there's people on the island and they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees, and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls. Ding dong, it's the outside world. And they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and crazy rice farms. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly super person, or emperor for short. Knock knock, get the door, it's religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from Baekje. "Please try this religion," he said. "No," said everybody. "Try it," he said. "No," said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. Then, the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms. Like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi China," they said. "Hi dipsh!t," said China. "Can you call us something else other than dipsh!t?" said Japan. "Like what?" said China. "How about ♫ sunrise land ♫ ?" said Japan. And they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book, about themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here, and they conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named Kūkai (空海) is bored with modern Buddhism and learns a better version which is more ♫ spiritual ♫ comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be ♫ great ♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a sh!t about governing the country. So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your sh!t from criminals? ♫ hire a samurai ♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Correction: rich, important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful. More than the government, so they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be "emperor," but the shogun is actually in control. Breaking news: the Mongols have invaded China. "We have invaded China," said the Mongols. "Please respect us, or we might invade you as well." "Okay," said Japan. So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and then died in a tornado. They tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornado. Then the emperor overthrew the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moved to Kyoto and makes a new shogunate, and the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that's fine. ♫ now there's more art ♫ Like paining with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. It's time for Who's Going To Be The Next Shogun? Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid, so he tries to et his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay, but then the shogun has a kid. So now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones! And everyone voted so hard, that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it's anybody's game. Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some sh!t. Like clocks. And guns. And ♫ Jesus ♫ So that's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control, now with guns. And wouldn't it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. This clan is ready to make a run for it. But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. Surprise! Smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. It goes very well. He's about halfway through conquering Japan, when someone who works for him kills him. And then someone else who works for him kills him. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And made some rules. "And now I'm going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China," he said, and failed, and also died. But before he died, he told these 5 guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the 5 guys said "Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid, it's gonna be one of us. Because we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than he others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight. He wins! And starts a new government right here. ♫ Edo ♫ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don't get confused, this is he new government, and they are very strict. So strict, they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, they want to buy and sell sh!t, but they have to do it right here. Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were opened, roads were built, everyone could read, books were published, poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Dutch studies. People studied European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity. Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow dow- .....Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. "Open the country. Stop having it be closed." said the United States. There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan when they want. Chōshu and Satsuma hated that. "Hat sucks," they said. "This sucks!" And with very little outside help, they overthrew he shogunate, and made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed Eastern Capital (東京). They made a new government, which was a lot more western. They made a new constitution, that was pretty western. And a military that was pretty western. And do you know what else is western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquered Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further, and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "Stop, no, you can't take that. We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a sh!t ton of soldiers, and when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a f*ck ton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade. And Japan says, "Can you maybe chill?" And Russia says, "How about maybe you chill?" Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kind of scared of Russia. Great Britain. So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. ♫ It's time for World War One ♫ The world is about to have a war, because it's the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants more. And the next thing on the list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands. All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on it by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, which was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France's @ss because France is friends with Russia, who was getting ready to kick Austria's @ss, because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia's @ss, because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's @ss, or actually he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh! ♫ Japan should take the islands ♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they called Britain on the telegram to sort of let them know. And hen they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan! You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes, where they decided who gets what, and, yes, Japan gets to keep all that sh!t they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫ the League of Nations ♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. The Great Depression is bad. Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria, and the League of Nations is line "no, don't do that, if you're in the League of Nations you're not supposed to take over the world," and Japan said, "♫ how about I do anyway ♫" and Japan invaded more and more and more and more of China and was planning to invade the whole entire east. You've got mail! It's from Germany. The new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world, and he needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. ♫ it's time for World War 2 ♫ Germany is invading their neighbors, then they invaded the neighbor's neighbors. Then the neighbor's neighbor's neighbor's who happens to be Britain said "holy sh!t" and the United States started helping Britain, because they are ♫ good friends ♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫ their friends and our friends are not friends, plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean ♫ The United States is also working on a large and very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case. But they still haven't joined the war. War looks bad on tv, and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii, and challenges hem to war, and they say yes. And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. So the United States goes to war in Europe, and they helped he gang chase Germany back into Germany. And hey also start chasing Japan back into Japan, and they haven't used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works. So they drop it on Japan. They actually dropped 2. The United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government. Just the right ingredients for a ♫ post-war economic miracle ♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. And then the miracle wears off. But everything's still pretty cool, I guess. ♫ bye ♫
  • me: so you watched Sherlock?
  • friend: yeah it was good
  • me: so do you ship johnlock now?
  • friend: no i think everyone is making a big deal over nothing. they're just friends.
  • me: well i don't agree, but i respect your opinion.
  • me: but can i ask you a question?
  • friend: sure
  • me: there's these two people i know a girl and a guy and they live together
  • friend: ok what about it?
  • me: well i think that they're in love, but my friend doesn't think so.
  • friend: ok what makes you think they're in love?
  • me: well they;'re always complimenting each other. the girl dreaded going to they guy's wedding, and talked about it as a battle. the girl defended and protected the guy over everything, and the guy did the same to the girl. he even chose to die with her rather than go back to his wife and live. luckily they both survived. there was a while when the girl disappeared, she went away for a while, to protect the boy. and the boy talked about moving "on from her" with his fiancé. when the girl came back from her trip, the fun practically ignored his wife and went off with her.
  • me: what do you think?
  • friend: they're obviously in love
  • me: i literally just described Sherlock and John's relationship to you
  • friend: b-but...two guys...no homo
  • me: you said it yourself, they're in love
  • friend: no...no!
  • me: you destroyed yourself
  • me: WELCOME TO JOHNLOCK HELL
Little Relationship Things
  • Ashton: Whenever he leans his head down to kiss you, he tangles his longer fingers in the spaces between yours, holding your hands tightly. He has a habit of always touching you no matter who is in the room. His hands are on your waist, his arm is over your shoulders, your fingers are laced together. He's okay as long as he's got his hands on you, making sure you're still his and only his. You have this little tradition from the beginning of your relationship. Whenever you're having a rough day, you gently stand on his feet and dance around the living room terribly to some old slow song from the 50's. His mom filmed it once and swears that she's going to play it at your wedding. Everyone knows you're getting married someday. Ashton is never shy about talking about you to fans even though you're hesitant. He loves bringing you out to meet them. It just gives him an excuse to brag about you, his favorite thing to do.
  • Calum: Every time he sees you, he takes a picture. It doesn't matter if you just got off a sixteen hour plane flight or if you got dressed up to go on a fancy date with him, he has to take a picture. Whenever he's missing you, he'll randomly tweet one of his hundreds of pictures with the simple tagline: Missing my beautiful girl xxx. He always has to have you as close to him as the current situation allows. Generally, this means your arms are around his waist and one of his is around your neck, holding you tightly to his side. The first thing he did when you started dating was take you home to his family and now, you're practically a Hood. Family dinners always include you now. If he's ever having a bad day, you're the first person he calls. When you answer, he just tells you to tell him about your day, that's all he needs is to hear your voice and everything will be okay again.
  • Luke: He is more reserved about your relationship in public than all of the other boys. Luke is incredibly protective over you. If you're ever caught in public by a large group of fans, he tucks you into his chest and breaks free from the crowd because he knows how nervous they make you. His favorite thing to do with you is stand behind you in the kitchen while you cook, his hands wandering aimlessly under your shirt on your soft skin. He loves pressing gentle kisses down your neck and leaving marks on your shoulders and collarbones, especially when you cuddle, which is often. They're constant reminders to both you that you're his. His weakness is you playing with his lip ring when you kiss. Your weakness is that stupid lip ring. You always steal his clothes. From his band t-shirts, to his beanies, to his hoodies, to his snapbacks. You basically have half of his wardrobe in your closest, but he doesn't mind at all. He swears you look better in his clothes than he does any day.
  • Michael: He's the boyfriend who will dye his hair to your favorite color when he's missing you, just because it reminds him of you. He has given you a dozen stupid nicknames you say you hate, but secretly love. Every time the guys make fun of him and call him whipped, he tells them where to stick it and kisses you in front of them. He loves trying to teach you to play guitar and video games. You're absolutely terrible at both, but he thinks it's adorable to watch you struggle. Plus, you're sitting on his lap while you're learning, so he couldn't be happier. He's not subtle about marking you, particularly before leaving for tour. You've been asked multiple times why you're wearing a scarf in the middle of summer. Michael laughs as you mumble something about it completing your outfit. He's incredibly vocally protective. If someone says something about you in person, he shuts them down instantly. He's known for calling "fans" out on twitter when they say they hate you. He loves every inch of you and he has absolutely no idea why everyone else in the world wouldn't feel the same way.
  • A/N: So, this is my first preference. Tell me what you all think! I hope you liked it. I had a lot of fun writing it. Definitely think I'm going to keep doing this. - Kate

me and jess have talked a lot about what if sid was a goalie. this happened instead. it’s not even almost the same thing

i don’t think i actually have anyone to blame for this. maybe laura and jenna for enabling me.

i’m still not sorry.

-

During a stoppage in play, PK sidles up to the penalty box and taps on it with the butt of his stick.

Pricey is sitting on the other side of the glass, scowling. If this was a cartoon, PK is pretty sure smoke would be coming out of his ears.

‘You’re an idiot,’ PK says. Pricey scowls harder.

'He had it coming,’ he says. 'The bastard’s been yapping at you all night.’

'So you knocked two of his teeth out.’ PK says.

'He had it coming,’ Pricey insists. PK rolls his eyes.

'You’re a menace,’ he tells Pricey. 'Stop giving them powerplays.’

Pricey looks unrepentant.

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