and pictures that arent so dark

18plusntrcollector replied to your photoset “Some of my Favourite Animated Black Women/Girls – [click on each pic…”

I’m okay with this except the Egyptian they weren’t and arent black. They are closer to middle eastern.

yeahhh..no. ancient Egypt like modern Egypt was incredibly diverse in terms of the physiognomy of its inhabitants, they came in all shades and complexions ranging from dark to light. in other words, there were ancient Egyptians who would be classified as black in today’s society and those that wouldn’t. look at this picture of Queen Kemsit, wife of Menuhotep, being attended to by her lighter-skinned maids, for example:

and modern black Egyptians do exist, so you’re wrong in that respect too:

genetic studies have also revealed that the Arab conquest and other foreign influences hardly changed the gene pool of the country with only 10-15% of the population showing any admixture…

also black ”middle eastern” ppl (i don’t really like that term, besides it’s a geopolitical classification and not a racial one) do also exist!

…the moral of the story is you should probably just stick to posting hentai instead of commenting on things you clearly don’t know…

Oh my God if I see one more tool bag post a picture or video of themselves doing any sort of weed related activity
AND TAG IT UNDER PINK FLOYD
Because they’re wearing a DSOTM tee shirt or have the fucking poster in the background
IM GONNA FLIP MY SHIT

STOP IT

Maid - Joker x Reader imagine part 5 (ok whats happening ive gotten so far)

a/n: HIIIII *nervously sweats and smiles* i cant believe im writing another part with 600 followers, this is insane! i love you all so much. so this part is like… idk they talk and such. i just got this idea. btw, it’s immediately after the last part, immediately, okay? and oh, the joker has two bathrooms - one with a bath and the other has been mentioned before. oh the picture isnt mine - its not the best joker edit cause he has eyebrows here and his eyes arent dark but i will forgive the person :D

characters: why do i bother but JOKER and READER

warnings: nudity, smut once in a while, bathing together (idk is that a warning? :D)


J stood up from the bed, looking at me. The emotions in his eyes were changing. It looked like he was trying to resist something. With a growl, he placed his hands on my sides and lifted me off the bed, placing me on my feet. He reached out his hand and I looked at it. I was still a bit afraid of him, he could kill me too. Any moment. J then took my hand in his, not caring about the way I looked at it. He never took my hand, either home or in public, and it felt weird, different. He dragged me to the door of his bigger bathroom and faced me.

“Stay here.” J said, pointing his finger at me. I nodded. He opened the door and went into the room. I sighed. Couldn’t I just go to sleep? I was so tired… How wasn’t he? All day out, business, sex, and he could still ran around the world. How is that possible? 

What was he doing in the bathroom? He never did anything by himself except killing people. 

J returned shortly after I started wondering about his actions and he pulled me into the room, closing the door after. He had turned on the lights, and I heard the water running in the bath. There were towels on the floor next to it. He had prepared a bath for me? For us?

I looked at him, he seemed calm. He walked me to the bath - it was in the size to fit four people next to each other on the small side, but ten people next to each other on the longer side. He again placed his hands on my sides and placed me into the bath full of warm water. 

J got in himself and laid down, so only his shoulders and head were out of the water. His hand stretched out for me and I hesitantly gave him my hand. J pulled me down, so I was laying on him and moved us up in a sitting position. I was sitting between his legs, mine around his waist, my back against the side of the bath. We were in such position that there was no way he didn’t like to show that he was in charge. Joker turned off the water and turned back around to me. His one hand on my cheek, and the other one on the back of my thigh, J looked me deep in the eyes.

“I feel like…” he looked up, in thought, then looked back at me. “There is something bothering you, angel.” He stated. “You haven’t spoken much, you act a little different. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

I took in a deep breath and exhaled, looking down, avoiding his gaze. I have to tell him, even if he’ll think I’m vulnerable and weak. If he wants to know, he will.

“I-I’m afraid..” I finally said.

“Afraid?” His non-existent eyebrows furrowed above his eyes and he lifts my chin up to him. “Of what?”

“I-I, it’s-”

“Is it my men? I can-”

“No, it’s not them.”

“Who is it then? Have you got somebody outside our home you’re afraid of? Your family? Friends?”

“No, J, it’s….” I sighed out a shaky breath. 

“Go on, tell me what you’re afraid of.”

“I’m.. afraid of you.” I said, looking him in the eyes.

“Me?” His face was a mix of several emotions. He drew back just a little bit. “Why? Did I…” his face hit the sight of realisation, “Oh..” J was looking down while a few tears escaped my eyes. “Why does me killing a man scare you?”

“Why? Why? Maybe because that’s never happened to me.” I gained courage, I spoke, looking him in the eyes. “I have never seen you or anybody else kill someone. You were nice-ish to him and then you just shot him! Makes me think that you could kill me any moment.”

“If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it long ago and you know that, doll.” His face was close to mine again, his hands on both sides of my neck on the bath’s edge. “But.. since you’re loyal and I enjoy your company, I’m not going to kill you. I like you too much to kill you.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m scared of you! You terrified me tonight. You shot a man in the head and didn’t change a shade. How can a person do that?…”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, sweets, but… I’m not a regular person. Am I even a person? Who knows?” J chuckled. “But you don’t have to be afraid of me. Or anything else. I will protect you at all costs, my dear angel.” His hand stroked my cheek, placing his thumb in between my lips. “Does that ease your mind at any way?” He asked and I nodded. 

J moved his lips down to mine and kissed them roughly as his hand slid down my body and stopped at my heat, placing his hand over it. I inhaled a sharp breath and kissed him back, reaching my arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into me. As his tongue entered my mouth, his fingers teased my entrance, making me whimper into his mouth. J pulled back suddenly.

“Do you want to touch me, baby doll?”

“What?” His words took me by surprise. 

“I said, do you want to touch me?” He repeated. “Can you touch me, doll? You’ve never touched me.” He spoke in my ear, stopping the actions of his fingers.

“Well, I-I..” I stuttered. “I don’t have much experience.” I admitted.

“Oh, I can teach you, baby.” He smirked. “Do you want me to?”

“Y-yes,” I replied, “If you do.”

“I very much do.” He said, laughing quietly. “Give me your hand.” J said, reaching out his other hand for mine. I put my hand in his and he guided it down between us(a/n: jesus h christ i swear to you i havE NEVER WRITTEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE SO IF ITS HORRIBLE IM SORRY IM JUST NOT A FAN OF …. DOING THIS TO A MAN). My breaths were shaky, I had never touched a male in that way before, I was nervous. He placed my hand on his member and started slowly moving it up and down. “Slowly, slowly…” he said and then let go of my hand, leaving it there. I looked at him. “Go on.” J urged and I nodded. Wrapping my fingers around, my hand slowly, gently moved up and down his length. J closed his eyes at the feeling and his hand worked on my intimate area, fingers pressing down, drawing circles. I moaned, my hand wrapping around his cock (a/n: god i hate this word) tighter and J groaned out.

“Oh, J…” I moaned out in a high-pitched voice when he entered me with his fingers. I started moving my hand faster up and down at the pleasure J was giving me.

“Yes, baby girl, just like that…” He sighed into my ear, curling his fingers and I was a moaning mess before him. Our actions continued for a while until we were both moaning and groaning each other’s names, close to our peak. I moved my hand up one last time before I felt him cum in my hand (a/n: ok so maybe this is against some erotic physics bc i’ve heard that a male can only cum once, while women can cum multiple times in a row but you know what? this is an imagine, this is not supposed to be reality so idgaf :)))) ). J’s fingers continued to work on me, he pressed his thumb on my clit and I moaned loudly.

“Cum, baby, come for me..” him whispering into my ear was what it took for me to reach my orgasm. Moans and J’s name left my mouth multiple times and I finally came over my high. I sighed, J taking his fingers out and chuckling. I was so tired, I could fall asleep at any moment. 

“That was wonderful, baby,” Joker spoke, smiling. “You did great.” He complimented, making me smile tiredly at him. He leaned down to my level - at the lack of energy I had, I was leaned back into the bath - and kissed my lips with a growl. 

“That was your first time touching a man, wasn’t it?” He asked and I nodded for a reply. “Your hands seemed so innocent…. As you do. No matter how many times I’ve fucked you and done other dirty things to you, you always look innocent and pure.” J spoke, making me laugh a little. J smiled at me laughing, it was a genuine smile. “Tell me… when I fucked you for the first time, was it… your first time?”

“Well…” I trailed off, sitting up straight so I was in his level, “my first time was with an asshole boyfriend from high school, but he never went all the way in… let’s just say, he didn’t reach my virginity wall so I don’t think it counted. God, that guy was a jerk…”

“Was he really? You know I could-”

“J, it’s alright, he wasn’t abusive or anything, don’t worry.” I stopped him. “He was just really annoying.”

“Well, then…. Do you regret having me take your first time?”

“No, I don’t.” I almost whispered, shaking my head with a smile.

“Flattering.” Joker purrs in my ear, his hands on my sides.

“J, I want to ask you something.”

“Anything, my doll.” He said, placing a kiss on my cheekbone. 

“Who’s Harley? The man mentioned her.”

“And why would anything he said be true? He didn’t do his part of the deal, so why should you take what he said to your head?”

“I saw the way your face changed when he mentioned her name. Tell me about her, I want to know.” I said.

“I’ll tell you, fine. Harley was a… beloved toy of mine for some time. Unfortunately for her, she left me a while ago. Even though she’s strong and knew how to fight, she couldn’t resist me after all. So I just… got rid of her one day.”

“Oh…” I replied. “Do you miss her?”

“No, I don’t. Never did.”

“Did you love her?”

“I don’t like that word, baby doll, never use it again in that context.” He growled. “But I didn’t. I told her I did, but I just used her for business.” As he spoke, i furrowed my brows, listening. “She was strong, naive and in love. Annoying, also. She realised it only after a long time and left.” He finished and there was silence for a while.

“You would… never do that to me, right, J?” I asked, my arms around my legs, knees resting against my bare chest. 

“Of course, not, doll.” J answered, resting his chin on one of my knees. “You’re different than her, better than her. More beautiful, smarter.”

“And how do I know you’re not lying to me now like you lied to Harley?”

“I told you that I would never treat you like her.” He sternly spoke. “But I also know that you’re smarter than her, you know when people are lying and when they’re telling the truth. So,” he traced his finger up my leg, “can you tell if I’m lying when I tell you that I will take care of you, keep you safe, never treat you like Harley… That you’re better, different, beautiful, smarter, attracting… Am I lying to you?” 

I decided to change things up a bit and smirked. I put my hands flat up against his chest and pushed him to the other side of the bath. Closer to the large window, where the moonlight was shining down. J was sat up against the bath’s side and I put my legs around his waist once again, my hand on his cheek.

“You’re not lying to me, I can see that.” I replied. “But have you ever lied to me?”

“I don’t think so, my dear angel.” He said, and rose up a little bit so he was even slightly above me. He hated to be the little one. “Have you ever lied to me?”

“No, J, I haven’t. And I promise I never will.” I said and kissed him on the lips. He felt different now. It felt like he was… in my power. What? Did I really have the Joker… weak? For me… 

He kissed back, trying to regain his power, but I wouldn’t let him. I wanted to take the chance of controlling him. I pushed him down and kissed him again, harder, my hand latching into his hair. I gripped his glowing green hair, tugging tightly on the roots and J let out a groan of pleasure, I think.

“Do you like that now?” I whispered with a smirk. J must’ve caught up with what I was trying to do and pushed me away slightly. He laughed and sat up, taking my wrists in his hands. 

“Nobody can be above me. Nobody can out-power me.” He snarled. “Now, you better apologise to Daddy before he changes his mind about being in a good mood.” He warned. Well, I have learned my lesson to never try that again.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I will never do that again.” I spoke in a more innocent tone that I wanted to. 

“Good.” He said. “Never try it again or Daddy will be very, very angry.” He warned and I nodded. “What do you want to do now, angel face?” His mood immediately changed. “Do you want to continue bathing or do you want to play a little…?” Joker smirked. Was he so turned on all the time? Always in the mood…

“I don’t know..” I trailed off. “What do you want to do?”

“I think Daddy wants to play some more. Would my doll mind?”

“I think your doll would very much enjoy that.” I smiled at him. 

“Why don’t you turn Daddy on a bit more? Could you do that, baby?”

“I could.” I smirked and moved a bit lower on him, right above his member. I moved around it, grinding down on J with my eyes closed. I got myself turned on, moving around his cock to get him hard. My mouth hang open as moans left my mouth, my breasts lowering onto J’s neck every time I went down.

“Alright, doll, that’s enough.” J spoke, holding my hips down to stop my movements. He was looking right into my eyes when he lowered me onto his length, making me moan out. J actually loved it when I was on top of him, he never told me, but he didn’t need to - I could see it, feel it even. He was always watching me intently from below, getting turned on more and more by the sight before him.

By my hips, he guided me up and then down again. He was going painfully slow, but he liked to tease me. I moaned out, eyes closing at the wonderful feeling and mouth agape caused by the moans. 

“P-please go faster, Daddy…” I begged and he moaned out himself. As asked, he picked up his pace to a deviously fast one, pounding in and out of me like there was no tomorrow. I was screaming, moaning, yelping, making very sound possible come out of my mouth. 

J placed one hand on my back and lowered my body down on his, kissing between my breasts. It drove me completely mad. I brought my nails down his chest to get relief somehow, scratching the pale white skin. There would be marks. His grip on my hips tightened so much it was painful, he was controlling my body in every way.

“O-oh, my God…” I moaned out. J whispered encouragements into my ear and I came for the third time tonight, along with him (a/n: damn joker trash back at it again with breaking the erotic physics rules). I fell on top of him once he had pulled out of me and breathed loudly, heavily. 

“Are you tired, baby girl?” J asked. I nodded, unable to speak. “I’ve tired you out, my doll. Rest now, I’ll take care of you.” He said and I rested my head against his chest. I traced over his many tattoos and got an idea.

“Daddy?” I asked with my last energy.

“Yes?”

“Can I get a tattoo?”

“Of course, sweets.” I heard him say right before I drifted off into sleep.

a/n: aLRIGHT THIS IS IT FOR TODAY MY PERVERTED FRIENDS I LOVE YOU ALL THIS WAS PRETTY HARD TO WRITE I WAS SINNING FORGIVE ME MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST BYE YA’LL

anonymous asked:

I adore your blog! I'm going to be welcoming my first furb into my home later this week and I was wondering if you have any tips on being a good guardian.

thanks so much!! <33

congratulations!! id love to see a picture of your new baby when they come in the mail !!

hmm

well, honestly, when it comes to furby care, they dont tend to be super picky!! they dont like bright lights, dark, loud noises, or when theyre moved too suddenly, but if you accidentally do that, theyre pretty quick to forgive an accidental spook.

lots of people (myself included) like to take their furbies out sometimes and take pictures of them!! while its not for everyone, as some people arent really confident enough to be seen in public with a toy in fear of judgement (i live in new york city most of the time, and honestly i dont get many stares or questions, people are pretty used to weird stuff fhdls) its very fun and you can get some cute pictures!!

i think that dressing up your furby gives them more individuality! it can really reflect your interpretation of your furby’s personality and make them really feel like yours. getting to know your furby and their own personal style is fun!! for me, at least. for example, august is bright and friendly and outgoing, so i decked him out in lots of hair clips and accessories, while murphy is more chill and prefers just his necklace.

but really, you cant go wrong, so dont stress too much about it!! find things to do with your furby to get to know them and things that you find fun, and your furby will love you no matter what. good luck !!

Boyfriend!Youngjae

| jaebum | | mark | | youngjae | | yugyeom |

• expect a lot of laughter and silly antics with Youngjae 

• this sweet cinnamon roll likes cuddling with you all day and all night 

• you would always wake up before him and when you attempt to get up, he would only tighten his grip around your waist, his head resting on yours 

 • “choi youngjae im gonna be late" 

• “five more minutes" 

• well, that only resulted to 20 more minutes, making you so late for work 

 • he’ll sometimes text you to go home early and eat dinner with him (date night!!) 

• “I’ll cook your fav dish jagi~!“ 

• but Youngjae’s gonna be in the kitchen preparing a freAKING RAMYUN for your date night 

 • “I though you’re cooking my fav food????" 

• "I couldn’t find coco for a minute so I went to look for my baby and when I came back, well, I burned the whole thing" 

• "jesus Youngjae" 

• awkwardly smiles when you compliment him and would sometimes turn into a blushing mess (gosh id pay see that) 

• random English words or phrases 

• he loves talking about the future with you and it would sometimes catch you off guard (because damn, he loves randomly saying that) 

• *watching you cook dinner* "I’d like to have 3 children. 2 boys and 1 girl, what’d you say (Y/N)?" 

• "jagi do you think our daughter would love the color purple? Should I buy her this teddy bear?" 

• of course, you love imagining your future with Youngjae but you always get surprised everytime he talks about it 

• "jagi what are you even talking about? we haven’t even done the thing yet." 

• "how about we try it now?” (jisoos Youngjae) 

• “Youngjae we’re at the children’s park. I don’t think these parents across the street would love to watch us doing the dirty deed." 

• he would snap out of this thought and mentally smacks himself in the head 

• "sorry about that jagi. I just can’t imagine a future with anyone else.” *cue all the butterflies in your stomach* 

• he loves spoiling you with affection and wouldn’t leave without giving you a soft peck on the lips 

 • he’ll constantly say all the cheesiest things in the whole world to see your reaction (because you’d either blush as red as a tomato or cringe at how cheesy it is) 

• a huuuuuuge fan of neck kisses (either he’s the one giving or receiving it) 

• deep conversations at night when you two are cuddling on the bed, his arms wrapped around you in a secured manner 

• he would sometimes laugh at you whenever you cry over a sad movie 

• “aigooo~ my jagi’s crying. It’s okay baby, the dog’s gonna be fine." 

• if you continue crying, he would make you a hot choco and cradle you in his arms 

• "shhh it’s okay, the movie’s fictional. They’re not dead." 

 • he’ll probably end up buying you a puppy 

• you would have Bambam or Yugyeom teasing both of you whenever you visit them in practice 

• he’ll get shy or insecure for some unknown reason when you watch them dance 

• so you would scream at the top of your lungs saying "I LOVE YOU CHOI YOUNGJAE! MARRY ME OPPA! GOSH YOURE SO PERFECT!" 

• and he would turn into a red tomato as Mark and Jackson laugh their asses off at your silly antics 

• he’ll purposely flip his wet hair as he walk over you after their practice in an attempt to look sexy and hot 

• but tbh, he’ll probably end up tripping on air and fall flat on his face 

• he always has either Jackson or Mark teaching him cheesy English pick up lines or anything he’d like to say to you 

 • he’ll always text you something in English 

 • "hey wanna see my dick?" 

• "WTF YOUNGJAE ARENT YOU AT WORK?!?! 

 • "shit I meant ****PIC. WANNA SEE MY PICTURE FROM OUR PHOTOSHOOT?!?!" 

 • loves singing all your favourite songs 

 • "gosh he sounds like an angel singing the songs of heaven" 

 • he loves all your quirks 

 • a jealous Youngjae is hard to detect because he wouldn’t share what he’s feeling and he’s doing good acting like nothing’s bothering him 

• but as you observe him, you would notice the change in him so you would confront him and that’s when he’ll say everything 

 • "you’re the light that I need in this dark world, (Y/N)" 

• "I love you to infinity and beyond!”

This is for the cutie who requested for a Boyfriend!Youngjae! Just tell me if you’d like me to make the other member’s version!! 🙊Don’t hesitate to click the ask button and request! Feel free to talk to me babes! 💙

anonymous asked:

michael mell isn't white

Yeah i know that? I dont see why you need to tell me,,, if its because of the first picture i drew of him it was because i was trying to figure our the skintone? I knew it had to be a bit darker but i dont really know how dark, all the pictures i see of george salazar are either low quality or the lighting is super weird, so i didnt really know just how dark his skin was? But i think ive got the hang of it now, my last two pictures arent light

Okay so when my mom and dad were first dating, my dad told his parents about her but he never brought her around, so they never got to meet her. He even got her knocked up and failed to introduce her to his parents, so they think its some big joke every time he mentions her. Well one day my moms in labor with my oldest brother (whos like now 32), and calls up my dad to tell him hes about to be a dad. So naturally he yells “SHES HAVING THE BABY!” and after 9 long months of trying convince his parents that he really has got a girlfriend, they both just look up at him, and then back down at their newspapers bc frankly, the jokes getting old. My dad races to the hospital, with a shitty old polaroid camera (keeping in mind that this is 32 years ago) and takes a picture of my mom holding their baby, but the picture doesn’t develop right. My dads 100% Irish and my moms white as can be, and now they have a picture of what looks like a black woman holding a black newborn. Later that night, my dad goes back to his parents house and shows them the picture, proud as can be that he has a son, and they laugh hysterically. “Youve gotta be kidding Ed, even if she was dark skinned, the baby would at least be light enough to be a mix of your irish blood and hers, but this kids dark as can be. Who are you trying to fool?” (also, they lived in a very white suburban neighborhood, probably 3 black families in the entire town at the time so my grandparents arent buyin any of the bullshit my dads layin down for them). Okay but my dad ends up bringing my uncle with him to the hospital the next day, and my uncle is the first in the family to meet my mom and brother, and when he finally meets her, hes in total disbelief, but runs home and tells his parents that Eddies really got a girl knocked up and that theyre grandparents now. With both my dad and uncle telling my grandma and grandpa that my dads really got a girlfriend now, they end up going to the hospital the next day to meet my mom but by the time they get there, SHES ALREADY GONE HOME. Now my grandparents are fucking pissed that their two jackass kids drove them all the way out to the hospital for a practical joke, and to make matters worse, my brother was born on April Fools Day. So yeah, thats the story of how my dads entire family went almost a week before meeting my mom after she had my brother back in ‘84 bc they all thought my dad spent over 9 months on an April Fools prank. Gotta love em