and our future is in doubt

Photo #2: The snyptid (seen above) on his way to “case” the Louvre in Paris, France; no doubt eager to relieve the famous museum of some of its more valuable pieces of art. I will say– inevitable future acts of larceny and assault aside– that I for one am glad to see our favorite cryptid up and about after such a long disappearance. Many of us had feared the worst, but those fears can now be put to rest.



I always find myself questioning the things I do, even if I was the one who opted to do it from the beginning. I frequently ask myself whether I’m doing the right thing. Whether there’s any good in the things I choose to put myself in. The school I go to, the activities I join, the events I attend, the friends I choose to keep. Are my decisions going to benefit my future or are they just a waste of time? I wonder if I’m really doing anything right these days. You see, I have always had this fear in me. This fear I can’t specifically explain. I often am afraid if I make the wrong choices, especially when I have to make big important life decisions. What if my plans don’t work out? Who will I be in 10 years? Will I ever really figure it out?

I hate self-doubt. You know when they say we are our own biggest critics, they’re hella right.

Sometimes, the plans that I have for myself, are not exactly the plans that Allah has for me. I get myself in a relationship, and it ends tragically. I take up a course I thought I’m good at, and later fail miserably. I apply for a scholarship, but then find out I was rejected. I plan to graduate on time, but got sick and am told to defer my studies. All these circumstances, it all leads to self-doubt. Will I ever be good enough for anything?

A few days ago, I was reading Surah Al-Kahf and stumbled upon a verse that struck a chord with me. It was so beautiful I made it my phone’s wallpaper lol. The verse goes:

إِلَّا أَن يَشَاءَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاذْكُر رَّبَّكَ إِذَا نَسِيتَ وَقُلْ عَسَىٰ أَن يَهْدِيَنِ رَبِّي لِأَقْرَبَ مِنْ هَٰذَا رَشَدًا 

“Except “if Allah wills.” And remember your Lord when you forget & say “May my Lord guide me to what is right” (18:24)

Perfect timing. This verse isn’t only a do’a but also a statement of optimism. “Asa” according to the arabic language is a verb used to express hope. Subhanallah, Allah is teaching us that the most fundmental thing we need is His guidance. He is teaching us that in the end, He knows best what is good for us and all we have to do is give our best in the things we do. The rest is Allah’s job. I learnt that if we do what is good, our effort will never go to waste, even if things don’t turn out the way we want it. Our compensation is with Allah. 

The verse screams optimism. It says “when you forget” because whenever something bad/failure befalls us, we tend to lose hope. We are bound to feel lost & confused. Been there a lot of time. So this powerful verse is telling us ‘no, don’t give up, hang in there and ask Allah to guide you’. He created us, He created the stars and the universe, so He definitely knows what is best for us. Whatever happens yesterday, stays there. If we have failed in the past, that failure should not dictate our future. 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Saheeh Muslim #2999)

So I guess we will never really have all the answers, but it’s perfectly okay, What we do know is that we can always ask Allah to guide us to what’s the best for us.

As long has we put our trust in him, we are in good hands.

i. He keeps on giving me excuses of why we couldn’t be together, and I keep on giving excuses for his excuses, because I believe we have a connection, and ours is not like any other.

ii. I know he’s the bad boy kind of guy, and I should probably stay away from him, but I keep on forgetting it whenever we were together, whenever we would go out on a ride and sing in the car,

iii. and for a moment, his laughter would drown out all my doubts and all my worries for our future.

iv. He told me I’m not like any other, that he never felt this way for anyone else before,

v. But he also never told me that he has someone else now, a new girl in his life that he’s been hiding away from me,

vi. And all those excuses he keeps on giving me, he’s willing to throw those all out for his someone new,

vii. and I hate that I don’t hate him,

viii. and I shouldn’t love him, but I do,

ix. and I know I should try to move on, but it’s hard.

x. And when I think I’m finally over him, I would walk right into him, and I couldn’t help but fall in love with him, all over again.
—  I try to hate him, but I can’t. | cynthia go // Excuses, excuses

Big Sean pens open letter to his younger self: “One day your city will need you”

Reflecting on the themes of his album, Big Sean has penned an open letter to his younger self, walking him through the most difficult decisions he will eventually have to face. He touches on his decision to pursue music over college, his early encounters with American racism and how to stay motivated in the face of hardship.

Dear Sean,

Listen, I know you’ve spent your whole life trying to push back those telling you to not be so hard on yourself. Relax, come hang, chill more. You didn’t listen to them then, and I doubt you’re going to listen to me now, but I want to tell you this from the heart — our heart: There is more to your life than your future.

You’ve been telling yourself that by 21 you have to be on, and at 22 you have to have a song on the radio. Rapping’s been your job since before it was your job, before you were out of high school, before you faced the decisions that would change everything. That hustle will create your path for you and be a testament to the light you have to share. But it will leave you with a lot more to work on.

Being present takes as much effort and talent as killing a verse, or writing a good song. I know it doesn’t feel as natural, but remember those times when you gave yourself the opportunity to live and feel free — to enjoy your friends, enjoy your family, enjoy young love. That’s where you found the inspiration to write and go harder. At 28, this is what you’re working on now. The high won’t last.

Not everyone around you now is going to make it all the way with you. You’re gonna wish they were there to see your success, but it’s not your fault they’re not there. You’re going to lose people, family members, your grandma and you’re going to wish you spent more time with them. This is what I’m talking about being present. As for your friends, you’ll hold their arms and give them the opportunities. You can only put the people you love in positions to succeed. There will be people who won’t hold up their end. They’ll fall back. Never blame yourself.

Because here’s what it is: It’s not about how hard you work; it’s about how smart you work. People are working 16 hour days, taking the bus, putting in more work than a lot of billionaires and still not coming out happy or financially stable. You’ll face this fear in deciding to do music or to go to college and get your bachelor’s, your masters, like your mom and grandma and granddad did to become teachers. You will be a teacher yourself, just in a completely a different way that you know feels right.

Your mother will fight for you, but know it’s not easy for her. Everyone in the family will come down on her, like “How can you let him not go to school?” It’s going to be a huge thing. It will upset the fam at first, but you will make the right choice. Show your mother the love she deserves.

Your parents will be right when they tell you as a teenager that you’ll come across times when people will judge you for how you look, for you being young, black, driving in a car. They’ll tell you you shouldn’t drive with your hat to the back or not wear certain clothes. You’ll think they’re crazy, but you’ll see things, like Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, names you don’t know yet, but you’ll come to know too well in the future. They’re just trying to protect you.

The only thing you can do to change anything is to make yourself better and send prayers. Any act of violence, you will look back and regret. It’ll cross your mind on the way back from visiting Michigan State, when you pull into a gas station to shouts of “Get out of here, nigger!” I think they have a large KKK crowd there or something in Howell, MI. It’ll make you angry, but you’ll realize that even though you’re on the same planet, you’re living in different worlds.

You can’t blame them for how they were raised, their ignorance. You can try to let them know that that’s wrong, or do better and show them. But feel comfortable in the fact that sometimes you’re just wasting your breath. You’ll rise above it through your actions.

Because one day your city will need you. Flint up the road will need you. They’re going to need all the help they can get. Give these people a hero to look up to — a black one at that — one that the whole city can be proud of. Don’t put energy into things you can’t change. The time you’ll put into tearing yourself apart over things like “I don’t want this person running my country. This mayor made a mistake,” you’ll lose it. What you can do is put energy into yourself and encourage everyone to do the same, and together, we’ll rise. Watch Sean deliver his message on video

follow @the-movemnt

I want a girl who is confident. I want her to know what she wants, and always goes out to get it. I want her to be blunt. Call me out on my shit. Tell me how you feel. Don’t shy away from your emotions. I want a girl who’s realistic and logical. I want her to know that relationships aren’t always perfect, but that’s okay. We’d create our own kind of perfect. I want a girl who’s humble. Who blushes and rolls her eyes whenever I tell her how damn beautiful she is. I want a girl who sees a future, and sees a future with me. Who doesn’t have any doubts. I want someone so sure, I won’t even have doubts. I want a girl who’s genuine and silly and weird. Someone who isn’t ashamed to dance in the middle of the grocery store just because her jam came on. I want love so deep and passionate, so real and healing. I won’t settle for less.


JORDAN. March 2016. Portraits of Syrian child refugees.

(1) Aya Bandar, 6, from Hama. “I didn’t want the background and the good light and the framing to be the center of the story,” Muheisen explains. “I wanted it to be the faces of these children. That’s why I made it really tight, so you can see the details, the conflict in their faces.”

(2) Rakan Raslan, 11, from Hama. “I used to go to the school back in Hama,” Raslan says. “I used to have friends there. Our home was destroyed in the war and we had to flee to Jordan.” Rakan says that without an education, his future is in doubt. “The best I can become is a driver.”

(3) Zahra Mahmoud, 5, from Deir el-Zour. About half of the 4.8 million Syrians who fled their homeland are children. Some of the most vulnerable refugee children live in makeshift tent camps. Several of these camps are in Jordan, which has taken in close to 640,000 refugees.

(4) Mayada Hammid, 8, from Hassakah. “I remember nothing from Syria,” Hammid says.

(5) Mohammed Bandar, 12, from Hama. “I want to become a doctor to be able to help people,” Bandar says.

(6) Amna Zughayar, 9, from Deir el-Zour. “I spoke to some of these kids,” Muheisin says, “and they said, ‘Yeah, our home was bombed, my school was bombed, I miss my friends, when are we going back to Syria?’”

Photographs: Muhammed Muheisen/AP

Just remember that, regardless of who is leading our country, we can still do good to our neighbors. We can still help those who are marginalized and those who will no doubts be victims of hate crimes in the future. We may live in a broken system but we have it in us to be good and to help those who need it. 

It’s that thought that is keeping me sane right now. 

Photo credit to Mark Malleson This photo shows the now deceased J34 Doublestuf with his ribs protruding this summer. Oreo his mother has lost a niece whom she raised and either miscarried/had a calf that was stilborn or died shortly after birth. Considering this Doublestuf would be her third offspring to die in the past two years. The southern resident orcas are critically endangered. They could die out in our lifetime. The main problem is there depleted food source. Google free the snake and sign petitions to remove the snake river damns. I will try to link you to a petition or ways to help but sadly I doubt writing to president Trump will help these magnificent creatures. The way to help is to write to the Feds in Washington state. Remember, if this goes unsolved Doublestuf’s death will soon be followed by other orcas starving. Don’t let this be the future of the SRKW.

It must be so romantic

No. It’s not. I use to think so too. Until I started dating someone in the military. Until I got into a military relationship. We say more goodbyes than we do hellos. We can’t give each other or others yes or no answers about our future because we don’t know where we’ll be in 6 months or a year. There’s so much uncertainty about everything. Everyone told me how hard it would be. How hard the lonely nights and distance and nothing set in stone for the first while would be. But no one told me how strong I needed to be for this. Military girlfriends have to be bad ass. I have to be strong enough for both of us when he gets doubts and insecure. And he has to be strong enough for both us when when I get doubts and insecure. I ask him every time our visits are over if this is still what he wants. The constant goodbyes and maybes and countdowns. He tells me more than anything that every goodbye is one step closer to not having to say them again. No one told me that I would love him differently than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything else. No one told me I would cherish every single second. Or stay awake long after he’s been asleep just to feel his arms around me. Not wanting to sleep because to me, it’s wasted time. Yes, military girlfriends have our cute signs and cute t-shirts. We go all out for our men, and that’s romantic. But until the day finally comes where we’re together 24/7, it’s lonely and it’s hard and it’s full of so many insecurities. But it’ll be worth it. That I know for sure.

Action Steps for trans folks before Obama leaves office

Trans folks:

Get your passport changed. They’re good for 10 years which means you can have matching ID no matter your state. It does not require any kind of surgery.

Get your Social Security changed. The Bush (w) administration (and previous idr) used the social security database to root out trans people in the workplace and out us to our employers. I know it’s not a value you’re likely to see directly, but I have little doubt that the Trump/Pence Whitehouse would reinstate No-Match-Letters. No surgery of any kind required.

Even if nothing else, they will surely become harder to update in the near future.

As much as possible, get all your documents to match. The trump administration will surely cast nonmatching documents as a sinister case of fraud.

What I like the most about Kenny Omega is how sincere he makes everything out to be. Obviously he’s an incredible athlete with an insane amount of skill but pro wrestling is all about telling a story right? He tells stories with such conviction, it’s amazing to watch him work or even hear him talk about the business we love so much.

The current hiatus he’s on is further evidence of his brilliance I think. It’s relatable too. We’ve all been in situations where we’ve put a lot of time and effort into something only to fail. To fall flat on our ass and then get bummed out and re-think the future. That’s what he’s portraying right now and it’s caught all of our attention in one way or another and it makes you genuinely feel for the guy.

It’s literally the most believable thing in pro wrestling today in my opinion and just proves, without a shadow of a doubt, why he’s one of the elite.

When in doubt, set yourself on fire.

Context: Our characters from last campaign became gods but after our Bard betrayed the new party, said characters became relevant again. Long story short we got teleported waaaaaay into the future, and our characters got captured by a bunch of people who use Nyx Magic/black magic and for some reason are afraid of divine magic.

DM: (to the Sword-cerer) You wake up in a room with metallic walls and a presumably double-sided mirror along one of the walls. There is a table with a really good looking chocolate cake on it in the room, as well as a door a bit to the right behind the cake. As you look in the mirror, you can still see there’s still golden swirls of divine energy on your skin, but there’s also significantly more time frost on your skin than before.

Sword-cerer: I immediately dig into the cake.

DM: You crash into an invisible and presumably magical barrier that runs along the middle of the room and stands between you and your cake.

Sword-cerer: I shake it off, take a deep breath… Set myself on fire using Freeform Starfire, and get a running start to try to burn the barrier.

DM: *rolls a save and crit fails* …The barrier, which is made of Nyx magic, shatters when your corrupted Starfire comes into contact with it. Now you can have your cake and eat it too! Roll perception and time magic.

Sword-cerer: *succeeds on perception, fails at time magic*

DM: You hear faint chatter and footsteps as a man wielding Nyx magic and a weapon you are unfamiliar with bursts into the room, with a panicked expression.

Sword-cerer: I look him dead in the eyes with a serious and mildly angry expression, and eat my cake with my bare hands while still on fire.

DM: (legitimately surprised) Really? You’re… Actually not murdering him?

Sword-cerer: I’ve already died one and a half times and became an actual god, I’m fresh out of hecks. I’m eating my damn cake before I murder anyone.

“Lines on my face, lines on my hands

Lead to a future I don’t understand

Some things don’t go as they’re planned…

Where are we going from here…

Tracing the trails through the mirrors of time

Spinning in circles with riddles in rhyme

We lose our way, trying to find

Searching to find our way home…

Trying to find our way home…”

Abelas left an impression in me even if his appearance is very short, but it is powerful. I felt so much depth behind his character and his background - so much opportunity which I hope Bioware will jump on it (sadly doubting it, since bioware handles badly characters who have chance to actually die in the game) but even if not, I just try to express what strong inspiration and impression he had on me. 

Ps; I thought I never will be finishing with the wall patterns. .-.

Prints avaiable; Here

In all important transactions of life we have to take a leap in the dark…. If we decide to leave the riddles unanswered, that is a choice; if we waver in our answer, that, too, is a choice: but whatever choice we make, we make it at our peril. If a man chooses to turn his back altogether on God and the future, no one can prevent him; no one can show beyond reasonable doubt that he is mistaken. If a man thinks otherwise and acts as he thinks, I do not see that any one can prove that he is mistaken. Each must act as he thinks best; and if he is wrong, so much the worse for him. We stand on a mountain pass in the midst of whirling snow and blinding mist through which we get glimpses now and then of paths which may be deceptive. If we stand still we shall be frozen to death. If we take the wrong road we shall be dashed to pieces. We do not certainly know whether there is any right one. What must we do? ’ Be strong and of a good courage.’ Act for the best, hope for the best, and take what comes… . If death ends all, we cannot meet death better.
—  Sir James Fitzjames Stephen
Our eyes meet and suddenly our surroundings darken.
I can’t seem focus on anything but you and the sound of you laughing.
Gently, you put your hands on my face and you pull me in against you.
For the next 3 minutes my body is numb.
A chill runs up my spine and my mind wanders of the great things that we will become.
People will tell stories of us.
How we rose from the ashes, with every odd against us.
They said we were out of our minds and they called us reckless.
And that time and other people and life would break eventually break us.
No one knows me like you do and they don’t know you either.
The truth is tragic, but I need you and that thought has become fearful.
Here you are in front of me and my god, no one has ever been so beautiful.
I don’t know what the future has in store for us but I promise you, I’m not doubtful.
180 seconds and my world has evolved into a place that is unfamiliar.
180 seconds and time has slipped right between my fingers.
180 seconds. I swear to god, I won’t ever forget her.
Dear Dutch Followers

Please go vote today! 

Why? Because this is the future of our country we’re talking about! This is important! Just set aside the things you’re doing for 15 minutes, grab your bike and go to the next place you can vote. Do you want this country to have a bright future? Then go vote, every vote counts! Make a difference, now’s the chance! 

We have the right to vote and that is a privilege. Voting is free and safe here! There are countries without democracy and others where democracy is a bad joke. In some countries voting is not safe or is manipulated. 

We are privileged with a fast variety of political parties, so there has to be at least something you agree with. If you still don’t know who to vote on, check who’s the opposing party of the one you’re against (i.e. left vs. right) and give them a vote. This way your least favourite party has a vote less.  

This is really important, so please go vote if you are allowed! It’s super easy. 


No one can tell, but you cast on me a spell.

Nestled in your sempiternal love, seeking abode in your cozy cove.

Star-crossed lovers, arrows of cupid struck us so hard!

Life was Murphy’s law, serendipity filled in, the moment your face my eyes saw.

‘Cause you are my shining star, our beautiful future doesn’t seem that far.

My love, My rock-star, tune the strings of my heart!

You’re the perfect personification,of my little piece of imagination.

Never felt so good, as hand-in-hand we walk through the woods.

Standing on terrace on a cold night, pondering over our silly fight.

Through my feet, an icy breeze flew and fear crept in of loosing you!

But you stood behind and held me tight.

So romantic it felt, all my doubts and fear swept!

Cuddling me in a swift sway, all my haunting memories burned away.

It made my eyes shine, as you whispered “You are mine and only mine.”

I never said out loud, but “I adore you”, my love, you make me so proud.


Scenes from the Legendary Heroine VerseRevenge of the Empire, Chap. 3

Leia reached forward and poured herself another batch of tea. She raised her cup and looked to Mara and smiled.
“Done deal.”
Mara then raised hers in tandiem.
“To our future.”
The two ladies chinked their cups together. There was some uncertainties and doubts Leia had concerning the risks, but she could feel a change in the wind. Hopefully with her training she would be able to fight the darkness when her fears and her doubts would manifest into something real.

Hey there,

My name is Emily and my fiance’s name is Charlene. We’ve decided to start this tumblr together as some sort of a digital scrapbook. Memories, personal stories, pictures; all of the intricate details that construct our beautiful, and oftentimes admittedly messy, lives. As we embark on adulthood and a new life together we realize that there a precious moments - collections of us -  that we would like to share with our children, our grandchildren, our family and our friends.

We’ve made this page as a memory box for our future selves. However, if we can somehow inspire others along the way as we collect our stories and memories I would be beyond thrilled. We have both been in places of hopelessness, places of utter terror, anger, confusion and doubt. But we made it. We are here to let any and everyone know that you are not alone.