and other things are upsetting me too

I’m not a steady person. When I get angry I don’t yell, I give a cold shoulder. When I’m mad at myself I treat other people poorly. When I’m upset I push everyone away and regret it. I can’t stay mad at people who do me wrong for too long and I have way too much love to give. I can treat someone I love like I’ll never see them again or like my love for them never existed. No, don’t get me wrong, I love them, I really do. I just have an awful habit of destroying things I love because that’s what I learned from my parents.

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

But can we talk about how

  • Jungkook and Yoongi are both quiet initially but once you get to know them and they open up, they’re both HUGE dorks and two of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet
  • They both feel very strongly but don’t let it show
    • Yoongi literally went back to the dorms from Daegu because he didn’t want Hoseok to be alone on New Year’s Eve
    • Jungkook cries when the other Bangtan members cry (i.e. The video of Hobi talking to his father, crying after listening to Yoongi’s mixtape, and more recently with Tae during the Muster)
    • There are too many examples for me to list all of them
  • Jin said that he goes to Jungkook when he wants to relax and destress but he also calls Yoongi when he’s frustrated and upset (the thing about his script for House of Army)
  • Jungkook and Yoongi go well together, in both a platonic sense and a shipping one 

I’m honestly really disappointed in the Sherlock fandom right now. I get if you didn’t like the episode, there were some things that upset me too… But just because your ship didn’t sail in the way you wanted it doesn’t mean you have the right to send death threats or act in harmful ways towards others. This was Gatiss and Moffat’s show, they have said many times they don’t want to cater to the fans and that it was their vision with the show. If you didn’t like it that’s fine. But don’t act as if they’ve done injustices towards you or that there was queerbaiting (which is completely untrue when they’ve said several times that it wasn’t gonna happen). This is exactly why I can only handle sites like Tumblr for short periods. Fandoms get so possessive and spoilt. If it really upset you that much, then go do what normal fans do when they don’t like the endings. Rewrite it for you. Do not I repeat DO NOT threaten people’s lives because you didn’t get your way. End of rant.

I know we’re all worried and upset about Shiro, trust me I am too. But I’m also really excited to see how his absence will shake things up in the team and leave space for other characters to grow. I think everyone is poised for great development, with them working together to find Shiro. One thing’s for sure we’re gonna see new dynamics take shape


So I’m currently preparing for a hurricane, and I’m anticipating that I won’t be able to post any art for quite some time. 

I felt bad knowing that there’d be a hiatus, and I didn’t want my followers to be too upset with me, so here’s some WIPs for additions to my undertale roster that I tried to squeeze in between me boarding up my house and doing other things in preparation for the storm. I wanna finish up the roster because I recently got invited to participate in an undertale themed charity artbook. I plan on finishing up Omega Flowey, maybe adding some effects to Hyperdeath God, and I’m also gonna draw the Royal Guards and Bratty and Catty (saving the best for last).

So, yeah, later today you’ll be seeing a post detailing the stuff about the hurricane, and more about my hiatus. 

Hope you guys like what I did here.

C: I just got out of my 1st relationship with a 21 year old. I’m 18. We’d known each other for 2 ½ months. Our relationship only lasted 13 days. But I broke w him because he didn’t give af about my feelings. Like, he’d make me upset and didn’t want to apologize or acknowledge he did anything wrong. He’d say I was upset for nothing/blowing things out of proportion. So the second time he did it I broke up with him and he tried to apologize but it was too late. I feel like he tried to emotionally manipulate me.

I was randomly thinking about fan fiction (as one does), and I was thinking about how a common complaint I see is that the problem/conflict in the story is miscommunication. And I just got to thinking, I don’t know how everyone became such great communicators, but that shit seems pretty real to me. It’s hard as hell to tell someone you’re in love with them when you’re not sure they return your feelings. Shoot, to this day I have never done that in my life. You either tell me you have feelings for me first, or it won’t be happening. Or like friends who have feelings for other and never say it, um yes, that’s me, too. Fighting about shit that isn’t actually the thing you’re upset about? Oops, also me. So anyway, writers that write miscommunication? I’m here to read your stuff and face palm at them being terrible communicators and say, haha been there, my friend. Been there. 

Stop bashing Kubo

I’ve noticed a lot of people bashing Kubo-sensei and the producers after the new episode, and that really upsets me. 

Kubo has been really freaking good to us so far, and I’m not going to let two words out of Yuuri’s mouth change my opinion on that. “End this” could mean literally anything. Maybe Yuuri’s gotten tired of the pressure that comes with professional skating and just wants to settle down for a few years. Maybe he and Victor are taking a small break and will eventually find their way back to each other in a 2nd season. Or maybe we’re all thinking too far into things, and we just need to calm down.

Originally posted by dailyhappylife

Kubo-sensei has never actually done what we expected. She, never fulfills our expectations. No, she exceeds them. 

Originally posted by fyeahyurionice

All relationships have their ups and downs, their bad times and their good times. We initially praised YOI for portraying a heartfelt realistic LGBT+ relationship, and claimed that it would make history. So when Yuuri and Victor go through these ups and downs why are we suddenly freaking out? Small fights and anxiety are natural. At this point, we don’t even know what’s going on between the do. 

Long story short, we as a fandom need to quit taking things for granted, and we need to stop jumping to conclusions about Kubo and YOI.  After all, maybe the producers aren’t trying to break our hearts. Maybe we’re breaking them ourselves. 

Why the MCU missed the boat when it came to marketing Hawkeye...

Much like many other Hawkeye fans, with each and every new Marvel movie that is released, we hold our breath and hope that our favourite bandaged, broken badass will actually be allowed to come out of his shell and be, well, HAWKEYE.

He’s gotten a lot of flack as a character, usually due to his stiff, stoic, far-too-serious portrayal in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But I came up with ten reasons why Marvel and Disney REALLY missed the boat when it came to marketing Hawkeye, and why he could’ve been just as popular and well-loved a character as Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and all of the other characters that are branded as the “real Avengers”, whilst poor Hawkeye and Black Widow are typically removed from merch and ignored by the marketing department.

The first thing that really interested me about Hawkeye, and the thing which upset me the MOST when it wasn’t included in the MCU, is the fact that Clint Barton is almost COMPLETELY DEAF in both ears. In Earth-616, he’s been deafened several times over, having it surgically fixed on one occasion and having special hearing aids constructed by Tony Stark on another. It baffles me why Marvel and Disney wouldn’t want to promote a deaf superhero to children who may also share the same disability and would take great solace and comfort in seeing a badass superhero with the same affliction as them. Here’s to hoping Clint comes too close to a violent explosion in Civil War

My second favourite thing about Clint Barton as a character in a setting such as the Avengers team is the fact that he is absolutely, unapologetically, unashamedly, 100% HUMAN. There is nothing enhanced or supernatural or magical about him, he doesn’t rely on a high-tech exoskeleton or technologically advanced suit – he’s just a normal dude who happens to be able to keep pace with superhumans, legends, and gods due to his incredible archery ability. And not just keep pace – unlike in the movies, in the comics Clint is an essential and critical member of the team, despite the fact that he’s not in any way special. If that’s not inspiring to the everyday person who feels like they can’t accomplish anything compared to their friends, I don’t know what is.

The Hunger Games, Arrow, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Tomb Raider – archers are sexy, and pop culture is LOVING them. I never really understood why Marvel chose not to push their own badass bow-slinger given the reception received by DC Comics’ Oliver Queen and District 12’s Katniss Everdeen.

The hardest thing to get through to people who have no idea who Clint Barton is beyond Renner’s reluctant, rigid acting is that Hawkeye is NOT a character who stands on a rooftop as a silent, deadly badass, shooting off arrow after arrow with a stoic face behind his sunglasses. Hawkeye is the most self-sabotaging, hapless, ridiculous, damaged, broken fuck-up, who spouts cocky one-liners and does his best to make it through life in one piece. Who can’t relate to a character like that?

Matt Fraction’s work writing for Hawkeye, particularly in alliance with David Aja’s artwork (which captured and reflected Clint’s personality PERFECTLY), has really put the kooky superhero on the map as one of Marvel’s best. Don’t believe me? Go buy Hawkeye: My Life As A Weapon, read it, and get back to me!

In the world of Marvel comics, Hawkeye rises to the task of training, coaching, and sometimes even acting as a personal therapist towards many of the new recruits to the Avengers. He’s a staunch supporter of Captain America, and would follow him to the ends of the earth. But one of the best relationships Clint has is with his sidekick Kate Bishop, whom he worships and respects for her skill despite the fact that she’s much younger and much less experienced than he is. I am praying that the Russo Brothers give Clint a bit of a mentor role with the newbies in Civil War and touch more on what we saw between him and Wanda Maximoff at the climax of Age of Ultron.

If you’re a comic book fan who believes in equality between the sexes, and you’ve never heard of The Hawkeye Initiative, you need to check this shit out RIGHT NOW! In order to combat sexism in the way female superheroes are drawn and portrayed, artists across the Internet have been redrawing the ridiculous poses women are often drawn in (usually a butt-shot), but replacing the heroine with Hawkeye instead. This has given Hawkeye more of a reach than people think, as most Internet-goers who know their memes will have heard of him before even if they aren’t an Avengers fan.

Hawkeye is one of the mouthiest Marvel characters (Deadpool aside, obviously), but I suppose it’s hard to find time for the side characters to act as they normally would when all of the funny moments, comic relief, and good witty one-liners are given to The Only Four Avengers Disney’s Marketing Department Thinks People Are Capable Of Caring About. Blah.

If you don’t know who Kate Bishop is and you like strong, independent, badass female superheroes, you’ve been missing out and a Google search or a trip to the comic book store is very much in order. Kate spends most of her time (when she’s not helping run the Young Avengers) running after Clint, telling him to stop being a screw up, saving him from various bad guys, and assisting him more like a PARTNER than a sidekick. He even let her keep his name, figuring she was badass enough that she’d earned it – you gotta love a guy without an ego complex! I’m still hoping Kate Bishop will eventually show up in the MCU… and that she isn’t destroyed in the same way Clint was.

While a lot of us can empathize with Tony Stark’s self-destructive tendencies, or Bruce Banner’s anxiety and rage issues, I firmly believe that Hawkeye is the type of character who, if given a proper and equal shot at the silver screen, could capture the hearts of children and adults everywhere for one simple reason: we’ve all been Clint Barton before. We’ve all been a self-sabotaging, hapless, ridiculous, damaged, broken fuck-up at some point in our lives, and this charming, sweet, cinnamon roll of a character is exactly what we need to remind ourselves that while we aren’t in any way perfect, while we are flawed and broken and are struggling to get through life, that’s okay. Because even without superpowers, you still matter. You’re still important. You’re still a superhero!


Instead of Rafael trying to work out things with Petra, he goes behind her back to blackmail her and then tells her “we’re even now, no more blackmailing each other.”


Honestly he’s just too scared of her. Because he knows she will turn him into ashes.

And what’s upsetting is that she straight up told him WHY she was angry at him. She expressed it.
“We were married.”
“You told me you loved me.”
“You slept with my sister.”
“You worked by her for three months and you didn’t notice that it wasn’t me.”

Why can’t Rafael be mature about the situation.

Congratulations Yuzuru Hanyu!

4 time champ? Unbelievable~ but let’s get real.
Get ready for a whole lot of words.

Honestly, the poor guy looks beyond upset with both his performances for this GPF, he knows he can land a 4Lo and he knows he can do all those quads(idk what happened on that triple, fatigue?)it’s just a matter of confidence and focus. It’s a great thing that he doesn’t blame the other skaters for doing better than him, he just blames himself, and that’s a great sense of motivation and sportsmanship(besides him actually being way too hard on himself).

Personally, his two programs never really grew on me so I wasn’t as blown away as I was during passed years (Seimei BLEW THE ROOF), and unfortunately we never got to see a perfect performance of both programs :(

I know that he CAN give a perfect performance, and he knows too, which is why he’s probably beating himself up right now, knowing that wasn’t his best performance and yet still wracked up a gold at one of the biggest competitions of the year.

He is human, and as we’ve seen today so are Javi and Patrick, but I’m sure all three will be aiming for another gold and a performance that will not only blow the competition away, but themselves away.

It’s been a season of ups and downs for Yuzu and I’m not super psyched about any of his performances this year besides really his exhibition performances(Notte Stellata leaves me in tears holy fuck) But there’s no doubt that he’s not done yet, he may have set unbelievable records already but that’s not all he has to offer. Isn’t it exciting to think he could still go above 110 and 330 with a perfect performance including a perfect 4Lo and all those Quads!!

It’s incredible that he’s exploring this new territory that figure skating hasn’t seen before, trying to perfect that 4Lo for the olympics, adding multiple jumps that many skaters can’t land even on a good day! Not to mention that his creativity is expanding as well, his Olympic SP was spectacular but this whole Jazzy and Pop based routine for 2016 was something the world never thought would come from Yuzuru Hanyu. I’m also proud of the fact that he sticks to these intense yet beautiful free skates that just draw you in, Hope and Legacy had a lot of potential to be emotion provoking and intriguing but I feel it fell short only cause of Yuzu’s own mindset not really connecting with the program. Nevertheless, I’m over joyed to think of what he will bring next.

He’s a clear genius and an incredible competitor, so let’s go Yuzuru Hanyu, show us what you got!

BPD things that I wish people understood

-I get jealous and upset when I see you talking to other people and I am convinced you prefer them to me and you’re going to leave me.

-I get scared when you don’t reply and I think you hate me.

-Sometimes my emotions are too intense for me to handle and result in outbursts that I truly cannot control.

-My head is constantly telling me I’m not good enough, not pretty enough, not nice enough, not funny enough, etc. It causes me to be very insecure.

-I will get jealous and hurt and angry over pretty much anything and may act coldly towards you for a while.

-I tell lies often as a way to deal with an abusive childhood. Lies are a safety net.

-I’m used to relying on unhelpful coping strategies like self harming, drinking and impulsive spending. I’m trying hard to get better but sometimes I need you to remind me that I shouldn’t do those things.

-If you don’t show me attention when I’m feeling bad or you act like you’re busy with something else then I immediately think I’m not good enough for you and I’ll withdraw and not talk to you at all for a while.

-I binge eat when I’m hurting emotionally. Please don’t make me feel more ashamed than I already do.

-If I’m trying to talk to you or I’m upset or hurting or we’re doing something and I see you constantly checking your phone or playing games or just not paying attention to me in general then I’m going to get angry and hurt and feel like the other stuff is more important to you than I am.

-Sometimes I’ll get mad at you because I made up an imaginary scenario in my head and I won’t want to talk to you.

There are many other things but these are what I’m struggling with the most right now.


a thing i made senior year when i realized there’s no reason to be upset if you’re not super gung-ho over your art. if you take it too serious it’s not that cool anymore. and then u become like a boring person, who only does art and talks about art.

i’m kind of in a point in my life right now where i don’t think i’m as passionate about art as i was when i first came into it. i still love it, but i love all the other parts of my life too. for me, it’s not that fun when the only thing i do and am interested in is art (even tho it’s how i make money now but…). i remember in school we were always worried about how we would fall behind because all these other professionals were drawing their asses off 24/7, but i don’t regret all the times i didn’t draw to do something else fun in my life. like binge watch a tv show. play video games. talk with my friends. take a day off in little tokyo. shop for clothes and shit online. lie down and do nothing. basically, i made peace with it. i’m not the kind of artist who draws all the time, and that’s okay. it doesn’t make me any less of an artist. 

don’t get me wrong, i really respect the artists who really push themselves to draw every day and finish pieces (it’s a good practice). but i’m just not in the mood for that all the time, and i realized that’s fine. i’d get burnt out otherwise. 

Shit Abled People Say #247

Me (autistic, social anxiety, other): I’ve been sobbing for 20 minutes because I just found out I have rehearsal today and I’m sick and I’m exhausted and my schedule didn’t include this in my day so it was a complete surprise so now I’m crying

Friend: ok but I’m sick and tired too and I’m still going to do it

Me: ok I’m still going to do it because I’m terrified of being yelled at but I’m still allowed to be upset when things make me upset. I had an anxiety attack when my therapist switched offices and I KNEW that was coming.

Background: I always go to Starbucks with my dad on Sundays and that day it was already messed up because we were going later than usual, and I had gone to sleep the night before completely out of spoons so I was already starting out with fewer spoons. My routine was entirely messed up and so I was very upset.

So if you guys haven’t heard, someone by “City Fresh Decals” on Amazon that sells stickers stole my original artwork and it selling it as their own- with my signature still intact on the art. I am frustrated, upset, and overall angry that this happened. I filled out a complaint form with Amazon and rn I’m just waiting to see what response I get. This probably would’ve gone unnoticed by me for awhile if it wasn’t for some kind person on Redbubble who gave me the link and told me what happened. I’m thankful for the person. 

But I believe this person sells other people’s art too. They have a crapton of LGBT pride designs, Dr. Who stuff, and some misc. stickers for other things and fandoms. 

Please be careful. If you see a friend’s artwork on there, tell them. If you recognize the artwork, tell the original artist. Report them. 

Me reporting them for stealing my artwork only goes so far as to remove my artwork from the site. It’ll do nothing for the hundreds of other work that was stolen. Please stand up and help report this person. This theft shouldn’t go any further. 

Please signal boost! 

“Girl Meets Hurricane” totally upset me both as a Shawngela shipper and as a Maya fan.

I get that they were doing the whole “You don’t always end up with the person you date in high school” thing, but it’s still bullshit. Say what you want, but Shawngela has been my OTP for a long time, so I cannot just let it go because BMW and GMW did. Also, according the other Shawngela shippers, which I agree with because I was thinking this too, the writers were forcing the Shawn/Maya’s mom thing mainly because Maya has daddy issues (which I understand because I kind of have them too) and Shawn is kind of a fatherly figure to her. We all figure that he can still be a fatherly figure to her without having to date her mom. And besides, looking at him and Maya’s mom, there was no chemistry as what he had with Angela. And that fact that Angela came back married was another way of the writers forcing Shawn/Maya’s mom. The only good thing I can say about this is that I’m glad that Angela and Shawn got closer, but my Shawngela shipping heart will always be broken because of this monstrosity.

My feelings towards Maya is completely different from the Shawngela thing. The whole “she needs to change her wardrobe” thing completely upsets me. For one thing, I loved her clothes because they fit her personality, the clothes she bought looks nothing like the Maya I fell in love with. And then, they made her hopeful. I understand that the world isn’t always dark and that her being hopeful is good for character development, but it’s too soon for this kind of development and it also looks like she’s setting her up to be like Riley. Don’t get me wrong, I like Riley because she’s a likeable person, but she is way too boring for my taste. Maya is the complete opposite. She’s complicated, unpredictable, and undefinable and that’s mainly fueled by her daddy issues. That’s why I loved her. And the fact that Riley and Maya are opposites makes their friendship work. Riley’s the optimism that Maya needs, and Maya keeps Riley grounded and her head out of the clouds. If Maya basically turns into Riley, I will flip. One Riley is enough, but two would just kill me. But I’m probably jumping the gun on this one. Hopefully by next new episode (because with Disney Channel’s messed up schedule, you’ll never know when it will come) Maya will seem to be her normal dark self or else the writers will receive a hand written letter from me and I intend to make that a promise.

Alright guys, another vent art. Yeah, I know. I really don’t want to bring like, personal problems on here cuz everyone came here to have a good time! So I won’t go into the details other than the fact it’s family problems. There are people who go through far worse so I won’t complain. I usually don’t remember what I’m upset about anyway if you give me like, half an hour.

 But here, have a John Laurens. I was actually trying to attempt a colour palette thing yesterday too with Laff but I couldn’t get over how weird everything looked in that colour. So this one is sorta to make up for how much I failed yesterday. As you can see, I got over the fact that I have to use unconventional colours and I’m actually pretty happy with how this turned out. Though I also kinda unintentionally made Laurens into a turtle with the colour choice. =w= But yeah, I’ll get back to drawings requests soon!