and one day my label will be a thing

  • because I didn’t know what asexuality was until I saw it online
  • because for the longest time, I thought I was just broken
  • because finding out there was a label for people like me, that there were others like me, was one of the best days of my life
  • because people still react like it’s impossible, or will go away once I meet the right person
  • because no one knows what it is and it shouldn’t be my responsibility to educate every single one of them
  • because I am told that I will get over it
  • because asexuality is used as a trope for people who are cold and heartless and don’t know how to love
  • because we are compared to robots or plants
  • because people think we have been assaulted or traumatized in some way, and that this is just a reaction, and not just who we are
  • because there is no mainstream media character I can point to that has been identified as asexual
  • because when even thinking about characters who may be asexual, the only ones that come to mind are written that way as jokes or to make a point about their personality
  • because people still think the a is for allies
  • because there are kids growing up right now that feel just like I did and they won’t learn about asexuality until long after they think they’re broken too
  • because everyone deserves to see themselves in their heroes
  • because we exist and we are here and you can’t keep ignoring us
I continue to hear saying such as “in 2016 I learned…” “in 2026 I decided…”. But what I have realized is that I often don’t let the New Year label my knowledge and experiences into a category of 365 days. What about what I learned this month? What about what I experienced this week? What about what I decided today? Are they less important as smaller, less-substantial actions because they were day to day and not a larger scale? Instead of looking at a whole painting, why not look at one parish stroke. Or maybe a group of strokes or colors mixed together. Without one detail, the whole masterpiece would be incomplete. Don’t let yourself gaze over your artwork because you got caught up in the wide scale of things. Details are vital to this world, you are vital to this world. So next year, when you finish another painting. Take a moment to stop and look at the different brush strokes, and remember how it felt to complete each one.
—  hmbrownie018

My dear lgbt+ children, 

Here’s a list with little things that might help when you have a bad body dysphoria day. (I wrote this especially with those of you in mind who can’t take any “big steps” (yet), so i excluded tips like “Buy a binder”.). 

Of course, you are the one who knows best what’s helpful for you. This list is mostly meant to kick-start your own ideas when you feel stuck on what to do to feel better.

- Use shampoo/lotion/deodorant labeled as the gender you identify with (for example, for a trans boy - men’s shampoo). 

- Write positive affirmations on little pieces of paper, fold them and put them in a box. On bad days, grab one and read it. 

- Spend time with people who support you (including pets and online friends)

 - Listen to your favorite music 

- Follow some lgbt+-positivity blogs 

- Pour your emotions into art: Draw, paint, sing or write 

- Buy/wear one piece of clothing or accessory that represents your gender identity (it can be something small, like a ring)

- Practice breathing exercises (Sounds cliche but can be very calming)

- Make a list with the things that trigger your body dysphoria, so you can come up with ideas how to avoid or limit them

- Make a jar where you can save money in for your future steps (If you’re in the closet: Make up something you save money for, in case someone asks)

- Gather information for your future steps (for example, google how to legally change your name) 

- Write a story with you as the main character, use your prefered pronouns and name (You don’t need to tell anyone they’re meant to represent you) 

- Go for a walk, get some fresh air 

- Look up trans/nonbinary Youtubers/Musicians 

 - Go to bed early 

- Try to find something you like about your body (For example: My eyes, i can run really fast, this body survived a lot so far and it’ll survive this too) 

- Try something new: If you never dance, try to dance, if you never bake, try to bake etc. 

- It sounds silly but: buy yourself flowers (works especially well when you want to feel more feminine but can work for everyone - flowers have no gender!)

  - Avoid looking in the mirror if it’s triggering 

- If you want to feel more girly: bubble baths, browse websites of fashion magazines like Vogue, watch make up/beauty tutorials on Youtube, paint your nails (Choose clear polish for your finger nails or paint your toe nails instead (and wear closed shoes) if you don’t want people to ask), use chapstick 

- If you want to feel more manly: Wear cologne, wear loose clothes, fill in your eyebrows (so they look darker/thicker), exercise (lifting weights can help you feel more masculine!), wear boxers 

(Keep in mind that what helps one person may be triggering for someone else,so if anything on this list sounds unsafe for you, avoid it). 

What are your ideas? I’d love to hear them! <3 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom

one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.

[ IMAGE: a long, white image with “QUEER” faded in rainbow gradient in the background behind text written using various fonts in various sizes, colors and line-weight reading “sometimes identity is a journey. so far mine has gone something like this – – HOLY SHIT, i’m BISEXU– wait, no, i’m PANSEXUAL! oh, but demisexuality? i’m DEMI-PANSEXUAL! but wait, what if i’m a LESBIAN??? no, WAIT! i’m NOT EVEN FEMALE!!! (no shit sherlock! plus you like who you like of any gender!) oh god, not even demi, TOTALLY ACE after all… shiiiiittt… panromantic ace! biromantic ace? PANro and BIro ACE! lolol wtf was i ever even thinking??? OF COURSE i’m a BI (sans ‘romantic’) & PAN (sans ‘romantic’) ACE. but grayro? quoiro? BI-PAN-GRAY-QUOIRO?? ugh, what the fuck ever. i’ll use whichever word(s) whenever it feels right to do so, but QUEER is the one word that has ALWAYS felt right. - Vesper 09/23/2016" ]


“I remember one particular day Zakk and Darrell were on the phone for seven or eight hours. I kept havin’ to bring Darrell a different phone because they kept going dead. These two were doing shots all day… long-distance drinking. The two of them just spent the whole day drinking together, doing shots, all by phone. I think to myself now, if only Darrell was here today, he would so appreciate Skype and Iphones, and the boys would enjoy things like that.” 
- Rita Haney on Zakk & Dime.

I need to get something off my chest. I’ve been in the mental health system since early childhood. I’ve been labeled so many times I lost count. Schizophrenia, Bipolar disorder, Dissociative identity disorder. Some of the more noteworthy examples. My whole life I’ve been doing whatever I need to perpetuate my own ends, regardless of the ramifications. I feel no remorse for anything I’ve done. Anyone I’ve hurt. I feel nothing, for the most part. Not feeling bad doesn’t mean I don’t know when I’ve done wrong. One thing’s always stick with me. A few years back I was struggling. I stopped eating. I was sleeping two hours every two days. It was really affecting my family. They urged me to get help, and I lashed out at them. They came to me trying to offer a helping hand, and I sent them away in tears. “Are you OK?” That question drove me mad. I can’t handle it. I don’t like any kind of input where my well being is concerned. I don’t even like compliments. Asking if I’m OK is apparently where I draw the line. I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to work like any other day. I worked a couple hours of my shift. I turned off the machine I was working on, and I walked out. I walked several miles to the nearest ER. I told them that if I didn’t get help, I was going to end my life. They sedated me. When I woke, I was in a mental health hospital an hour or so from my home. They kept me there for about a month. I left with a smile, and several new prescriptions. Prescriptions I’d never take. When I returned home, my family left me be. I made them think I was going to end my life so they’d stop asking if I was OK. I’ll never forget the hurt in my ex’s eyes. Alone, afraid, and pregnant with my child. I hurt her worse than I’ve ever hurt another. I did lasting damage. Hurt that lingers. And I did it so she’d stop asking me if I was alright. I shouldn’t have done that. I know that. I knew it then. Alas, I did it anyway. I am a monster, and that’s why I let her go.
—  Notes from a cold bath.
Doug Thrailkill Jr

anonymous asked:

Was there anything that helped you come to a better understanding of being trans or did it just kinda dawn in you one day? I'm trying to figure out my own identity and asking others how they figured it out seems to help.

real talk, i haven’t figured out my identity yet either. idk if i ever will. but thats ok!

for me its been a gradual process, i guess? there’s been lots of trial-and-error, trying out different labels, different ways of presenting myself, different ways of thinking of myself. 
i think the thing that helped me most re: coming to terms w/ my transness was realizing it was -ok- to experiment, and having friends who rolled with it & encouraged me along the way

its hard, and it doesnt stop being hard, so reaching out for support is super helpful
(and hey, my ask box/chat is always open, even though im horrible at giving advice and/or responding in a timely manner)

anonymous asked:

when did you know that you were attracted to females? was it a hard thing for you to accept?

I never dated anyone or hooked up with anyone or really did anything with anyone at all. I just told myself that one day I’d find someone no matter what gender they may be. I just didn’t label myself. And then Hope came into my life and I fell in love and well that’s all that matters


Madness is such a hard thing to define, which makes it such an easy label to affix to one’s enemies. Once it had been applied to T h o m a s, once our relationship had been exposed, defiled, scandalized… everything ended. There were times that I was persuaded to sue for peace since then, but that was the day that on some level I knew… that England was broken… and that sooner or later a good man must resist it.

(Most recent message was sent 1/7/17)

My heart ached as i saw that last message. We were a thing for 2 months. He refused to put a label on us because of an age different of 5 years. He never talked about me to his sister or friends or the rest of his family. He hid me like he was ashamed. He started off being super sweet. Compliments all the time, cute texts, cute video snaps. We live about 20 minutes away from each other but he still refused to meet me in person. I called him one day telling him i was in his city and wanted to meet, he cursed me out. I left heart broken at the fact that someone who said they “loved” me didnt wanna see me. He became distant and cold. I tried so hard to keep whatever we had alive and he seemed like he didnt want it. I sent him a final message of “I’m done. I’m sorry.” He read it and never responded. A week later i went on a date and posted a picture of us at a restaurant. He apparently saw it and called me 13 times that night. Multiple text messages that scared me. “Where the fuck are you” “i swear to god ill find where you are and drag you out of there” “how the fuck could you cheat on me?” But i wasn’t cheating on him. We were never an offical thing and i ended whatever we were. He was such a controlling person. I deleted him off of snapchat and facebook and blocked his number. Im in a happy relationship with someone i love now. I havent talked to him in a month but i guess he’s still trying. I wish he wouldn’t though.

listen to survivors of abuse who don’t like killing stalking

and listen to those who do. 

i read killing stalking, all 13 chapters, in a day - and i regret it. i really like the story, i appreciate the art massively, but reading it was, i feel, the unhealthiest thing i’ve done in a while. i ended up dissociating from around 6:30pm yesterday, to exactly 6:27pm today, and i have no doubt that it’s because of the manhwa.

one of my best friends (has bpd, survivor of abuse and trauma) is frightened to speaking out abt how bad reading KS makes her feel, because she doesn’t want to be vilified or labelled a crybaby. because there’s enough people who lack basic sympathy and understanding for abuse survivors and bpd sufferers when we say, “this is unhealthy / this has hurt me / this isn’t good”

edit: there are survivors of abuse/trauma etc who use KS and media products, other fiction like it to process and cope w/ their trauma, memories, and more, which i completely understand. my point was - listen to survivors of abuse who don’t, and are being disregarded or pushed to the side by those who do.

The Story of Us, a Viclock fanfiction for Valentine’s Day

My and Victor’s story ended as a tragedy.

Which is a shame since I really thought he was ‘the one’.

But then again, we were young and about to go our separate ways: uni was going to end six months into our relationship, and we had been officially labelled as an ‘item’ only two months prior.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I don't think you'll answer this buuuut, the hat are your thoughts on guide dogs as an animal activist?

I don’t know if I’d actually consider myself an animal activist

All I do is refrain from eating cows, chickens, pigs and fish now like I already refrained from eating cats, dogs, rabbits and so on. I don’t think my inaction is worthy enough of that label! I’m not actively fighting each day in protests and such, I’m just vegan, which just means I’ve tried to stop hurting them.

As for my opinion on Guide dogs, I really don’t know much about the whole thing! I’d say that it’s a wonderful system that helps people who would otherwise live incredibly challenging and lonely lives, to be a little less so. I’m sure the dogs are treated wonderfully, and it feels like one of those situations that is mutually beneficial, rather than exploitation. It’s almost just a more extended version of having a pet dog that you train to do tricks, in this case they’re just doing a little more and really helping someone out.

Like I said though, I don’t know anything about it :) It’s best to do your own research and make up your mind xx

My favorite rescuers all have one thing in common: they understand that rescue is about working with people as much as about helping animals, even people who have made mistakes with their animals. Because at the end of the day, if you allow bitterness towards people to take over, you aren’t able to help as many animals. 

This big fellow’s owner had made several mistakes. The dog was being labeled a wolf hybrid. The dog did not have proof of rabies vaccination. The dog was left intact* and kept behind a fence that could not contain it. Consequently, when the dog jumped the fence and attacked a neighbor’s dog, and the other dog’s owner was bitten as they split up the fight, this poor puppo was in big trouble. The law stated that he either had to be euthanized and tested for rabies, or placed under veterinary quarantine for a period of ten days and cleared as healthy. His owners could not afford the QT period and were facing down a 72 hour period to get together the funds or say goodbye to their buddy for good.

24 hours before the dog’s deadline, a friend of mine reached out to me on his owner’s behalf. While a dog can not be transferred to another owner or a rescue during the ten day post-bite period, there is no rule saying somebody else can’t pay for the QT, nor one specifying which vet has to do it. So, we are QTing Thor at our vet, at our cost, while still under the owner’s legal ownership. After the ten days has expired, they are signing him over to ACS since they can not contain him within their fence, and he will be going to a rescue in Florida.

This situation was really heartbreaking because the owner absolutely loved this dog and was horribly broken up about the whole thing - and the dog was very frightened and confused to be taken from the home he’d had since he was a pup. I was crying for both of them as we drove away.

Two take-aways from the situation are the importance of having current rabies vaccinations as specified by your state’s laws, and avoiding getting your body into a dog fight. Having proof of vaccination will help protect your dog if it does bite someone - and ANY dog CAN bite no matter how perfect you may think your pup is. And avoiding getting your body into a dog fight not only protects your safety, but saves a dog from a potential bite record, which not only can put him/her at risk of euthanasia, but also makes it difficult to place the animal with a rescue if it needs to be rehomed. Oh, and for the love of dog, never improperly label an animal a wolfdog, as it only increases the chances of legal trouble and placement trouble.

We’ll update on this boy when he gets out of QT.

* I am not opposed to responsibly keeping intact animals, to be clear, but because intact males are statistically more prone to roaming, territorial aggression, and dog aggression, proper containment is an absolute MUST.

anonymous asked:

hey so I find difficulty identifying what gender I am, It switches all the time like one day i'm male and the other day i'm kind of nothing and then another day i'm female and It's just confusing and I don't know what's happening

ah, gender is a difficult thing to deal with, and sometimes takes awhile to figure out.
it’s also very normal to question it a lot!! i’m assuming you’re asking for some ideas to genders, and the ones that pop into my head would be genderfluid, genderflux, bigender, or even genderqueer!
of course you do not need a label when it comes to your gender, but some people like them, and those are a few of the ones that i thought of when i saw this ask.
i hope this helped!!



NAME.  Kyla
SEXUALITY.   Honestly I’m more attracted to men, but I don’t know what I’d label myself these days at all


ONE.   I have a published novel and I’m working on a series right now that should either be out at the end of the year, or the beginning of next.
TWO.  I have been working with children for a good ten years of my life if not more than that. Pretty sure that at some point I’ll be a preschool teacher, but I’m still thinking about it.
THREE.  I have a heart condition.


HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?).  11 years / 2 and a half on tumblr.
PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED.  freeforum, forumation, tumblr.
BEST EXPERIENCE.  Oh man, I love Tumblr, though the forum that I ran once for Star Trek was pretty amazing and I miss those guys. They were great writers, but they all moved on and I moved over here. Writing is my things: I’m lost without it.


FEMALE OR MALE.    Females. I am trying to add more males than just James, but I never know if I’m doing them justice? I wrote Steve for a while and I loved it, but I dunno, that wasn’t the greatest experience and not because of Steve. Then I found the perfect Steve to RP with and gave up on him and every one of them I’ve tried. We’ll see if I can add more males in the future though because I do want to.
MULTI OR SINGLE.    Multi everything.


FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT.  I feel that I am actually the best at writing angst but I like fluff sometimes too. I enjoy writing smut but I don’t think I’m the best at it, so as you can see by my threads, I probably write it with like four people, but that number varies depending on my mood and the muses that drive me, haha.
PLOTS OR MEMES.  I honestly like both. Winging it is so much fun because you can just go where the muses take you, but I also like having a general plot in mind? Memes I think are the best because it’s kind of the best of both worlds. It’s random, but it has a general goal in mind.
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES.   I enjoy writing novel replies, but they take me the longest to reply to. Even with short ones though, I feel like I write too much. Or with long ones that I don’t write enough? Depends on the muse, I guess. Angel and Selina are my strongest muses so I almost always have muse for them to write you guys novels or witty one liners. Next is probably Sarah (Walker), Ember and Helena. I tend to like medium length stuff the best…is that a choice? I’m making it a choice, haha.
BEST TIME TO WRITE.   For me it’s probably later afternoon, evening. It’s when I’m the most relaxed and when inspiration is usually here, but it could be 4am and I could want to write a book, so…the muses control me, not the other way around.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S).   I feel like maybe two of them? Like, Sarah, Selina and Helena are too badass, and Cass and the Rogers/Stark kids are too precious and have such cool talents, etc. If I’m like any of them, it’s probably Angel and Charlee, and only because they’re the most protective and I’m a Momma Bear at heart. Plus I know I’m not as heartless as Ember sometimes, but she’s so much fun to play, you don’t even know. So yeah…

TAGGED BY.   @idyllicism (she’s precious you guys, go follow if you haven’t already)
TAGGING. @gxdsamongus @heroicissm @blackcowledbat @contrarymuses @youbetterlistenupbub @redroomrecruit @unreliable-hero @biestmodus @raisedbyawerewxlf @multixmuses @thchowler @ozcobblepot and anyone else who wants to do it

anonymous asked:

Lately my thoughts of "wow lol I'm terrible" have gotten shockingly real and the state of self-hatred I've fallen into isn't helped by me being demi, I'm always thinking about how maybe I'm faking it, and maybe I'm just being picky and one day I'm going to regret this label. At the same time I know that's not true, but I can't help myself from thinking it. I'm just having a hard time loving that part of myself lately.

Hey there,

I’m not very good at helping with things like this, and I really truly wish I was but I can’t convince you not to hate yourself. However, I can tell you that being demi isn’t a bad thing. I’ve had 2 years to become adjusted to it, and I did at first have a hard time accepting it. You’re not faking it, you’re not being picky! It’s just how you are, even if it is a more minor label or more “close to straight” orientation.

As for labels, you can change them! Your sexuality and romantic orientation is fluid over your lifetime anyway, so what if you find a better label? It’s your choice to change it. You said you know it’s not true, and I know it too. One day you will learn to accept yourself and love that part of you, we all go through hard times.

If you ever need it, please feel free to message me (I’m much quicker to respond to messages than anons) or anon me again!


Add anything that you consider helpful right here!

the main reason I’m so shit in my science classes– besides mental illness– is that I’m so bad at remembering the names of things. I can explain to you processes and come up with diagrams but the nomenclature??

like ofc I can sketch the amino acids at the drop of a hat and explain why they have the properties they do but to this day if you then asked me to label them I’d be like “uhh…I think that one’s….alanine?”

the thing I love about “non trauma” systems" and “natural systems” is that literally anyone can have headmates. someone says “hey I woke up today and had peridot in my head!” and they’re like “wow cool!” ?????? you don’t even question these things???? do you honestly HONESTLY think that people just wake up one day with a cartoon character in their head?????? this is the shit that makes me not take you people seriously lol like come on. and then someone logically questions it and they’re labelled as a gatekeeper. it’s the most annoying thing on this website by far.