and off they go

anonymous asked:

There's not a lot of asks suddenly :/ Do you think people have lost interest in VA ?

Nope! I’ve still been getting asks fairly regularly, but I’ve been pretty tied up lately, so I haven’t been able to ask any new ones.

i think that if you’re like me and you’re non-religious and don’t believe in some kind of a higher purpose, coming to accept the fact that there doesn’t need to be a higher purpose is so much easier said than done. we as a generation, especially with the world in the messy messy state it’s in today, tend to romanticize apathy and constant questioning and self-doubt, we joke about how cruel life is because a lot of times it feels like there’s no other way to respond to all of it. and everyone loves the idea of being troubled when it’s on a screen or on the pages of a book, close enough to where you can feel the echo, but no closer – any closer than that would make it real. 

the truth is, that hollowness ends up eating away at whatever’s still there. when it’s real, it feels like you’re rotting away. coming to accept and fully embrace the emptiness that comes from that sense of not having any grand purpose means choosing to give pieces of yourself to that emptiness. you decide reality as you know it exists only as a tiny blip in the dark and you give yourself to that thought. 

and fill up that hollowness with love. we dont need a Grand Purpose™; rather, just take in what’s been given – all the colors, the sights, smells, sounds, people, the joy, the laughter, experiences that you have just this one chance to take in. if it’s just all chance, who cares, really? if anything, that makes it better. there’s no real reason for any of those amazing moments – that makes them even more special. you were just lucky enough to be there, to witness it. they just are and have been and always will be. lack of an ultimate purpose doesn’t make the fact of existence alone any less wonderful

when u say ur half-guyanese and white ppl complain about that, despite being raised by a guyanese mother, having a lot contact with ur guyanese family and take pride in ur mothers country and saying that im just dutch and basically not being a “special snowflake” or “for me, you are just dutch”
and then 5 min after that feel the need to tell you that theyre also part german, part italian, part france, part english, part narnian, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so my new pathfinder character is Rupord the Ogre. Rupord smart. Small people say he not smart, but small people think cave fun explore and not danger. Small people also like weapon too mcuh. Rupord not need weapon. Anything weapon if smart like Rupord. Very clever. Rupord also break locks. Small people locks no good, Rupord open easy. Small people do many things no good. Only thing Rupord find small people do good is booze. Booze not easy to make in caves. Rupord miss his cave.

Unfortunately all the work that I did today is under the hood stuff. There’s been some minor tweaks to how turrets work, but everything else has been AI programming and refactoring to get AI working.

If you saw my previous post, the code isn’t quite written the way I outlined, but the general idea is there. That said, I need to find a way to organize the code better because for the more complex behaviors I’ll definitely need it to be written more like how I outlined it.

The two flight actions (turn towards and auto throttle) are finished. The idle mission is basically finished. The escort mission is implemented in a very basic way that exposed the shortcomings of doing this AI stuff the quick and dirty method. I have a ship following me around, but that’s all it can do.

Incidentally, this is the closest to a working formation AI I’ve ever written, which is pretty cool. It wasn’t my goal, but rather came out as a natural consequence of the auto throttle action. I think with some minor tweaks I could actually get a pretty robust formation AI. However that’s not important at the moment for what I need so I’ll have to tackle that at a later point.

I’m going to preempt this by saying that I will finish Another Trip Around the Sun on the same schedule as I have been. This will not affect Another Trip at all. But after that, I think I’m going to take a long hiatus. I am tired. I am very tired. And it seems like I’ve been tired for a long time. I work two jobs, around 56 hours a week, and I need the money, so that’s fine I guess, but I just don’t have the energy to write a lot when I get home. I used to write at work sometimes on my breaks, but then I took on too many responsibilities, and now it seems like I’m drowning. I’ve been pushing through, writing even though I’m exhausted, because there were no other options. I want to write, desperately, but I need to work. So I’ve been tired-working for a while now, and then last week one of my managers came to me, saying that come mid-august our whole department is being let go. And it was like a light that I hadn’t even realized had been missing, came on, and I felt relief. I need a break like I need air, and though I am sad (really, really very sad) that our department is closing, I didn’t realize how much strain I’d been under until I could see an end to it. So, I’ve decided to cut myself a little slack. I think I’ll start up writing again, more, when I’m not working seven days a week. So, come the end of August, or early September, I should have more things to publish, once I lose one of my jobs, but until then, I’m going to finish Another Trip Around the Sun, because I can’t bear not to and I owe you all so much, but after that I’m going on an emotional vacation. 

i wanna write, i told him
write about what?
everything
grab a pen and go, he said
— 

he told me not to edit too much, not to censor anything (at least, try not to) and to try and see the world without any lenses, just as it is, bright and true and beautiful

[this story continues on in the tags below…]

   ❛ ohhh, stop worryin’, everything’s fine. i’ve got a towel, don’t i? ‘nothing t’ fear when your towel is near’, that’s what i say.

youtube

my animation final!!!! or you know the bare basics to pass

audio from prozd