and now's a good time as any to post this one

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

Important information for Content Creators on Tumblr

okay i know ive posted alot about this just now, but now that ive got it more or less figured out I’m gonna make a better post here and include the tags relevent to my interactions in it to ensure no one else in my fandoms/communities are blindsided like i was. 

I encourage you to make your own, or to just recopy this, tagging the fandoms and communities important to you!

CONTENT CREATORS: TUMBLR IS HIDING YOUR POSTS!

If you make a post with external links, your post will be hidden from searches. If you make a post and link to your redbubble, no one can search for your post. If you make art and link it to your deviantart or artstation, no one can search for you post. If you make any post and just throw on a “hey here is where you find me!” no one can search that post. If you want to recommend a fic or a youtube video, no one can search your post, if you… hell you get the idea. Tumblr has completely shut down content creators on this hellsite and its fucking infuriating.

I have just confirmed that the post type “Link” also does not show up in the tags. Thats right, there is an ENTIRE TYPE OF TUMBLR POST that cannot be searched. G-FUCKING-G TUMBLR.

EDIT: Okay! I have done more testing (and a video to go along with it) and at this point i can say that this is still very real, but that it only affects links to specific websites, presumably ones that tumblr doesn’t have added to some sort of “internal whitelist” of safe sites. 
I would suggest if you intend to continue tagging, to maintain a very very unique tag and use it to keep tabs on your work to ensure they are continuing to show up.
In the meantime, I will do my best to keep a list here of links verified to work, and ones verified to not work. Please feel free to comment on the post or reblog if you have your own experiences!

Also there has been confirmation that this change affects posts regardless of posting date. So it’ll hide posts made before the update went into affect; expected but good to confirm!

WHAT TO DO?

It shuts down posts with external links, so at first i assumed internal links would be fine. and they are. if you make a page on your tumblr blog called like /links or something you can certainly link to that. But in that way you run into an issue, tumblr mobile is a piece of shit and cant load tumblr pages, and itll just take you back to the mainblog any time you try.

The best solution ive found so far is put all your relevent links in your blog description like so:

and then in every content post, call tumblr out for being a piece of shit and direct them to the links in your blog description.

Edit: In the top right hand side of photo posts you can click on it and include a single link as “source” that should work if you have one link neccessary. though if you need more you are still SOL. Find it like so:

It will appear in dash format at the bottom left of the post:

in desktop them view where it can be found, or if it can be found, varies by theme.

CONTENT CREATOR SUPPORTERS

It is important now more than ever on this hellsite that you try to support your artist and content creators, reblog as much as possible, look to find them on websites off this piece of shit, and generally do your best to spread the word and support them, since tumblr itself is trying to silence them! 

I HAVE AN ACCOMPANYING POST HERE WITH A VIDEO UPDATE AND INFORMATION PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.

anonymous asked:

i know you meant well when you said 30 isnt ancient, but im nb so my life expectancy is actually 30 :(

Hey anon, I’m so sorry that that’s a fear you’ve had to live with. I know that trans people are at greater risk of violence and suicide, and I’ve heard people say many times that the life expectancy of trans people (or trans women, or trans women of color, depending on who you ask) is anywhere from 23 to 35. Your ask troubled me, so I’ve dug deep looking for solid evidence of any of these, and I don’t believe that these statistics are true.

A trans woman, Helen, looked into the “23 years” claim and traced it back to someone’s notes on two workshops at a 2007 conference, which stated that trans people’s life expectancy is “believed to be around 23” (emphasis mine) but cites no actual source. This claim has been presented as fact in many news articles since then, but as far as I can tell, no one seems to know where this figure came from.

Another claim is often sourced to an Argentine psychologist quoted in this NPR article

Psychologist Graciela Balestra, who works closely with the transgender community, says it’s an especially vulnerable population.

“Transgender people have an average life expectancy of about 30 to 32 years,” Balestra says. “They don’t live any longer; I think that statistic alone says so much.”

But again, the article gives no source for this figure

I found an article claiming that a 2014 report by the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) “concludes the average life expectancy of trans people in the Western Hemisphere is between 30-35 years.” However, when I tracked down the report, An Overview of Violence Against LGBTI Persons (pdf), its only reference to this is (emphasis mine): “[T]he IACHR has received information that the life expectancy of trans women in the Americas is between 30 and 35 years of age.” Again, this is no source.

Someone said on my post that these statistics may have come from the NCTE/NGLTF report Injustice at Every Turn (pdf), but I can’t find any reference to any such claim in the report.

Thinking about these claims, they seem unlikely for some basic reasons. Consider that we simply don’t have a long enough span of data on trans people, and that what data we do have is extremely limited because we can’t always know who is trans and who isn’t. Consider also that, although obviously the murder rates for trans people are extremely high, the number of deaths of 20-something trans people would have to be ENORMOUS to offset the existence of older trans people and bring the average down to 30. Especially since, unlike with racial groups for example, the data on trans people would likely include almost no childhood deaths, simply because it would be much more difficult (and in many cases impossible) to identify these children as trans. And since we know that trans women of color are extremely disproportionately affected by violence, statistics that include white people and/or trans men would be especially unlikely to be so low.

And as to your specific situation anon, again given that trans women of color are most at risk, I don’t think we have reason to believe that being non-binary specifically puts a person at anywhere near this level of increased risk of dying young.

I don’t say any of this to question anyone’s experiences or to deny the state of emergency that trans women face with regard to violence. That is very real. But I think it can be harmful, even dangerous to trans people to spread claims like this around, especially without evidence. Expecting to die by 30 would take an extreme emotional toll on anyone, and trans people deserve better.

But don’t take my word for it: FORGE, a national transgender anti-violence organization that works with trans survivors of sexual assault, wrote the following in its 2016 publication “First Do No Harm: 8 Tips for Addressing Violence Against Transgender and Gender Non-Binary People” (pdf) (I have moved two footnotes into the main text and provided links to some endnote sources; italicized emphasis is theirs while bold is mine.): 

Promote Hope for the Future

It certainly is not the same as a murder, but publicizing a low “life expectancy” rate for transwomen of color is another way to steal away their future, a “crime” that has been committed repeatedly by trans, LGBQ, and mainstream press. Think about the people you know or have heard of who have been diagnosed with a fatal illness and given a short time to live: how many of them have enrolled in college, undertaken lengthy training for a new occupation, had a new child, or tried to establish a new non-profit? A few do, certainly, but many more focus on their bucket list, arrange for their good-byes, or simply give up entirely, essentially relinquishing whatever time they have left to depression and regrets. When we tell transwomen of color they cannot expect to live very long, we rob them of hope. We rob them of any motivation to invest in themselves, their relationships, and their communities. We rob them, in short, of their lives even while they are still living. (This statement in no way negates the need to systemically work to improve and increase the life expectancy of trans people through working to end transphobia, racism, poverty, pervasive violence, and health and healthcare inequities, and more.)

One trans woman of color was trying to come to grips with an estimated lifespan figure more than ten years shorter than the one that has been published most often. (We are not repeating any of the (incorrect) estimated lifetime figures that are circulating, to avoid even inadvertent reinforcement.) Faced with the report of yet another attack on another trans woman, she wrote:

These days, I look at the latest reports of stabbed, shot, beaten trans women, search myself for tears, and I cannot find a thing. I want to mourn and rage. I want to honor all of our sisters — the hundreds each year who are ripped, namelessly and without fanfare, from this life — who are taken so young before their time. But the grief and anger — even empathy — do not come. I don’t feel anything but numbness and fatigue, and somewhere far below that, fear.

The terrible irony of the life expectancy “fact” is that it is based on an impossibility. The only ways to determine a given population’s life expectancy are to: examine decades or more of death certificates or census data containing the information being studied, or follow a specific set of individuals for around 100 years and record every single death. There is not and never has been a census of transgender people. Our death certificates do not mark us as transgender. There has been no 100-year-long study of a representative group of trans people. So where are the estimated lifespan figures coming from?

FORGE tracked the most commonly-cited figure back to what was most likely the 2014 Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference, where a workshop presenter gave the figure and explained she had calculated it by averaging the age of death for all of those listed on the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) website. This means the figure is actually the average age of those trans people who were both murdered and came to the attention of someone who added them to the TDOR list. Interestingly, this average is very close to the average age of everyone who is murdered in the U.S., according to the U.S. Department of Justice statistics. [I’m not seeing an average age given in the cited source but you can see on page 5 of this Bureau of Justice Statistics report (pdf) that the average age of homicide victims in the U.S. was between 30 and 35 from 1980 to 2008.]

But not everyone is murdered.

Despite how many there may appear to be, only a tiny, tiny fraction of transpeople are killed by other people. Most of us, transwomen of color included, live average lifespans and die of the most common U.S. killers — heart disease, cancer, chronic lower respiratory disease, and unintentional injuries (accidents).

Please don’t add to fear and hopelessness by spreading inaccurate and profoundly disempowering data.

Since I can’t respond to everyone directly, I’m @ing some people who’ve brought this up on my post and may be interested: (urls removed after posting for their privacy). I appreciate your thoughtfulness in bringing this to my attention. If you or anyone else has a source on any of these figures that can provide specific methodology, I’d be very grateful to see that.

In closing, here are some resources that provide a more hopeful view of trans aging. They are well known but I hope they will be helpful to someone.

Ending of Carboys Theory

A saw a comment on youtube mention this and I have been obsessing over it for a while now.

First of all, if you haven’t seen the Carboys latest episode yet. check it out.

But the theory basically goes like this:

The ending we see before the credits and the ending we see after the credits are not the same ending. When they entered the time portal their timeline split in two creating two parallel realities. In the first reality (the one before the credits) Griffon and Nick are separated and spend eternity alone.

In this timeline Nick becomes Busto1.0. He knowingly sacrificed himself to save reality and upon becoming Bust1.0 he goes back to the time before this all to try to warn past Nick and Griffon about the dangers of the blob and prevent this all from happening. 

In the very same timeline, Griffon wasn’t given a choice about sacrificing himself. (as learned in the second timeline) and as such never had a chance to say his goodbyes to his loved ones like Nick could. Stricken with this grief and loneliness Griffons chaotic side slowly eats away at him and turns him into Busto2.0. 

If you recall to the fan-animation “Car Boys Animated - Some Sort of Digital Heaven” (which was stated by Polygon as being canon) at the end of it you see Busto2.0 opening his arms to welcome and embrace Busto1.0. That's Griffon being reunited with Nick.

Which leaves one finale question. Who or what is “Busto3.0” aka The Blob? Well little is known about the blob, but if following the pattern of how the Bustos are created, then it can be assumed that the Blob’s origins are similar.  For starters lets talk about what we know about the blob. 1) It hates water. 2) its physics are fairly complex. 3) There are people who love it, and more specifically Griffon is one of the people who has to constantly fight against his love for The Blob.

Now then who fits all three of these points AND was brought into the time portal with Nick and Griffon? Ball. Ball would constantly spring out of any water it was put in. Ball has a very similar level of complexity to its physical properties. and Griffon absolutely loves ball. Both of them do. Everyone loves Ball. In fact it was Griffon’s love for Ball that created The Blob. When they were entering the time portal Griffon stated, “I’m scared, can I have Ball? I love ball! ” To which Nick complied and brought Ball (as well as The Blob) into the time portal thus damming them to a repeating cycle.

Ball was dragged into the portal and as a result ended up getting stuck their forever, Griffon didn’t like seeing Ball be trapped in forever and they were forced to leave ball behind. Thus, just like Nick and Griffon, Ball was left all alone for eternity thus forcing Ball to change into The Blob. Who only ever tried to reunite with the boys, but in its changed state, it ended up consuming everything.

After all, the Blob itself wouldn’t hurt the boys and as Griffon said “-if it detects malice… it will activate the protocols ” meaning it only attacked them when they attacked it first.

Now I could be looking into this too much, after all its a video game series about two good soft boys playing a physics based car game. But they did such an amazing job creating a whole story around this series, it only seems fitting we continue to honor it by having these overly complicated theories of our own.  

TL;DR

Nick = Busto1.0
Griffon = Busto2.0
Ball = Blob

... Somehow, Still Talking About This Captain America Shit (Now With Bonus Spider-Man and Agents of SHIELD)

So now Secret Empire has revealed its Shyamalan Twist and given the readers a Good Guy Steve Rogers as well as Hydra Cap, and the kinds of dickbags who, when this whole bullshit began were dismissing people’s complaints with “oh come on, don’t you know how comics works, it’s all going to be put back at the end, blah blah blah…” are crowing I-Told-You-So’s.

But here’s the thing:

Yeah, fucknuts.  We always knew this.

Keep reading

A LIST OF SWAN QUEEN FAN FICTION

B/C I KNOW Y’ALL ARE TIRED OF LOOKING FOR SWANQUEEN FANFIC RECS ON TUMBLR SO HERES THE GOOD SHIT.

  • all of these are in english
  • if you have any recommendations or additions, please let me know!
  • some fanfictions that i originally planned to include on this list were deleted by their authors :( 


CLASSICS (favorites)

The Art Of Being Extraordinary - if you haven’t read this already, wyd? The ending will destroy you - be prepared to cry. 

Letters From War - another extremely well known fic among swen. a heart-wrenching and beautifully written AU fic. even if AUs aren’t your thing, seriously, give this one a try.

Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming.

A Trail Of Destruction - DEFINITELY a classic imo. this is one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

A hostage situation in City Hall leaves behind a battered, broken sheriff, and a mayor wracked with guilt. Trigger warnings for violence and gun threats and general angst. Slow-burn swan queen.

Miles To Go - AU; emma and regina meet at a party and the rest is history. this ones pretty long (80 chapters), but so worth the read! angsty & lots of ‘sexy times’ 

Everyone has their own story, this one is theirs and it paints the picture of a love story that spans over two decades, with all the ups and downs and everything else in between. SwanQueen AU
 

Of Love and Loathing - a lot of angry sex in the beginning, which eventually turns into lovey sex. another well known and well written fic - this author is one of my favorites. *reaaallyyy hot smut 

“I have been sleeping with someone,” Regina began tentatively, an acute awareness that once she said the words out loud that the madness behind her highly unorthodox situation became all the more real, “whom I absolutely loathe.” •Emma/Regina•

Meet me Halfway - one of the first swan queen fan fictions i ever read! still a classic to this day. AU

Emma Swan works hard every night as a bartender, struggling to raise her son and save up enough to own her own bar. Regina Mills is an upper class New York photographer who wouldn’t normally spare a second glance at people below her. When their paths cross, their lives adapt to each other, but how much are they willing to change?

Love Undefined - in the process of re-reading this one because of how much i love it. angsty as hell but such a beautiful story.

It’s been eight years since the last time Regina and Emma saw each other, eight years since Emma lost part of her happiness, her family, and everything fell apart. But she hasn’t forgotten those three years in New York, or any of what Regina had brought into her life. A late night phone call to Regina takes Emma back eleven years to when they met, saved each other from loneliness, and Emma started learning what it meant to live. She relives the moments that had changed her life for the better, and even the ones that had hurt.

Teacher’s Pet - KNOWN AS THE ONE TEACHER/STUDENT FANFIC THAT EVERYONE HAS READ. 

Emma Swan is starting her senior year. Her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher that she has on her schedule and how no one had passed her class with an A, not even her bookworm friend, Belle. What will she do? And who exactly is this ‘bitchy Evil Queen’ as they claim her to be? SwanQueen. Student/Teacher. M for language and future chapters.

Lost in Translation - i wasn’t sure about this before reading it but i LOVED it. the description pretty much sums it up.

AU. Regina is deaf. Emma is the only one who refuses to give her pity. In response, Regina is thrilled by this new challenge and the stand-offs commence, but over time she finds out there is more to the blonde woman than just a target to throw a stinging quip and pointed glare at.

Send Up a Signal - emma and regina are actresses and their fans ship them with each other. ;)

Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on a sanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-undermined star with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she’s invested. Naturally, they loathe each other on sight.Their characters’ fanbases, however, have other ideas.

Reset - SO. GOOD. 95 chapters. if you’re looking for long fanfics, this is for you. 

Following the breaking of the curse everyone in Storybrooke is finding their happy ending, with one exception. Resigning herself to having lost Henry’s love and respect forever, Regina decides there is only one path available to her.

Take Me Home Tonight - AU!! lots of smut :) this is a newer one that i’ve seen around twitter and tumblr and i really enjoyed it! this one’s pretty short (14 chapters)

AU: Nineteen year old Emma Swan is a senior at the exclusive all girls boarding school, Foxhaven Academy. When her friends find out she’s a virgin they send her to the city to find a guy to take her v-card. But Emma is more interested in a sexy older woman she meets in a bar. A SwanQueen story.

The Staircase - non-consensual sex in the first chapter, so please be aware of that; its not for eveyone. this story is very dark but has a happy ending i promise!

Regina could still smell her cologne and feel the cheap pleather pressing into her back. The brunette sucked in a breath. She was still lying on the floor at the staircase’s base and she stared back up at it. Everything was different now. Changed. She felt broken by what had just happened, appalled and enraged, dirty. WARNING: NC17 for non-consensual sex. Dark. (But gets lighter.)

the trouble with emma - very very well known within the swan queen community. i’ll be honest, i never really got into the story but i can acknowledge that it is the most well-written fanfiction i have read to date. the author is truly talented. (the first in a series of fanfics)

Post ep 4x23, Emma becomes the Dark One and learns nothing is quite as it seems or as simple as black versus white. When Regina removes the curse no one in Storybrooke is prepared for the far reaching fallout which leaves none of their lives unaltered or untouched, least of all Regina’s.

SMUT 

shadow haven  - the one smut fic everyone has read.

Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.

the wicked stepmother - the one kinky fic everyone has read- or attempted to. i couldn’t get through the whole thing but the first few chapters,,, holy hell.

When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter… but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

in control  - Regina had never been in the habit of relinquishing control, but when it came to Emma Swan, she was starting to find out that giving in had its benefits. - Established Swan Queen - One Shot. Rated M for language and content.

the collar - It will carry strong mature themes as well as a Mistress/Slave relationship but it is also a lot more than that. However, as a warning this story will celebrate the shades of grey of our favourite couple as they find their way to each other and will deal with darker elements of their characters. Emma’s history differs a little from canon but will be covered by the story but there is no Henry and she is an adult in this fiction.

a little taste  - author of A Fine Line and Letters from War. 

Emma has been desperate to know what it’s like to kiss the smirk off of Regina Mills, but when she finally gets the chance, it doesn’t seem to be enough.

tempest - A storm ushers in an expected opportunity for Regina to finally rid herself of Emma Swan. She will posses the sheriff’s heart and then crush it. But what happens when nothing goes as planned? Rated M for language and Swan Queen sexytimes.

come on be nice - Regina has decided that the quickest way to get rid of Emma Swan is to scare off the commitment phobic woman with a come-on. This, as with many of Regina’s plans, does not go as, well, planned. Rated M for Swan Queen sex.

black lace - Emma and Henry find a way around the 'no visiting’ rule involving binoculars and the walkie talkie. Emma’s attention is fully on her son, she truly doesn’t intend to watch Regina at all. At least until the mayor begins undressing in front of her window..

dirty words - Regina is plagued by thoughts of a certain blonde. Deciding she is in need of cathartic release, she writes a quick narrative in hopes of cleansing her system. However, by a happy accident, the story falls into the wrong hands. What will Emma do with this new and intriguing insight into the mayor’s mind?

damn you, miss swan  Emma visits the mayor one night with a bottle of wine to cheer her up. Anger issues and smeared lippy ensues. WARNING: Includes a non-explicit passing reference to rape. This is my first story. A/N Jan 2015: Way back when I wrote this, no one knew anyone’s back stories, so I just made up stuff. Don’t be upset for canon divergence if you read it now. It wasn’t canon then.

mirror tricks The Evil Queen has made her way to Storybrooke, but she only seems to be interested in one thing: Emma. When Regina realises this, her jealousy starts to get the better of her.

my enemy’s enemy After her mother’s death, Regina finds a terrible surprise hidden among the witch’s belongings. Unfortunately, the only one able to cure her from the ailment is Emma…if she agrees. Strong language and mature themes. First stab at SwanQueen :)

ANGST

to remember her happy ending - “She doesn’t even remember her family! How am I going to explain this to her when she hates me!” She was falling apart now. The way the women in the other room had just looked at her, with such disdain. That wasn’t her wife. That was the Mayor, the Evil Queen maybe…but not her wife.

for endings are where we begin Regina Mills is your average working mom - she spends long hours at her bakery, loves her son Henry with all that she is, and can touch dead things and bring them back to life.Emma Swan is an orphan, an ex-convict, and a bail bondsperson residing in Massachusetts. She is also currently dead.This is the story of how they meet.

the loudest silence - New to Chicago Emma, a professional cellist, is shocked to find that a beautiful deaf woman is her new president of the board. As their friendship grows Emma begins to wonder, what does it look like when a world of sound and a world of silence meet somewhere in the middle? SwanQueen AU

broken 16 year Emma Swan is a preachers daughter on a tight leash, what happens when Regina Mills returns to town, dark, mysterious and dangerous? Will her father’s expectations take over or will Emma follow her heart? Is Regina legit or is Emma cute little pawn? Will Emma be able to love Regina for who she is or will her dark past ruin it ALL! SwanQueen G!P Some BDSM

bring her home Cora’s dead. Henry lives with the Charmings. Regina continues spiraling through grief and loss and hatred. Then Emma suddenly falls unconscious and Henry shows up at Regina’s door because he needs her help to bring Emma back. Reluctantly, Regina embarks on a wild swan chase through Emma’s mind, a whirlwind of ‘roads‐less‐traveled’ and ‘what‐ifs’ and ‘might‐have‐beens’, in order to bring her home.

if the blazer fits Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it.

a fine line Upon Regina’s banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.

a pale imitation Regina is furious with Emma after she brings back Marian, but since she can’t take it out on her, Regina creates a mindless clone of Emma to hit instead. The clone doesn’t stay mindless for long though, developing an obsession with Regina. Written for summer 2014 Swan Queen Big Bang. (TW for sexual assault/rape and graphic depictions of violence)

FLUFF

one fine mess - Regina’s gut twisted with an agonizing pull and, for just a moment, she thought she might need to take up the same position as the woman crouched before her. “You’re pregnant?” she whispered grimly. Emma’s only response was to turn and retch into the toilet again. — Swan Queen, magic!pregnancy

coffee at midnight - (so good) Slow burn AU that starts with two women from different parts of the USA meeting on Twitter. Emma is an insomniac loner who is a Personal Trainer. Regina is a writer with a sleepless baby. Their lack of sleep and love for coffee soon brings them together and after that they find it hard to part. This is a fic where coffee is taking to mythical levels, despite it’s bad effect on people with insomnia and people with babies - showing that sometimes what you need and want isn’t always the thing that is wholesome and harmless. But also that denying yourself it will only lead to misery, something which Regina has to apply to other parts of her life.

all the single ladies With the library in desperate need of renovation, Storybrooke prepares for a fundraising dinner and bachelorette auction. What mischief and romance can be found as a result? SwanQueen with some RedBeauty Rating has been raised to M - now including adult content.


TEACHER+STUDENT / EMPLOYEE+BOSS

teacher’s pet - see above (classics)

take me home tonight - see above (classics)

step into my office, baby  - This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea.or, the one where they’re in an office.

teaching miss mills  - Swan Queen Teacher AU: Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to small-town life, gets her teaching mojo back and grows closer to Regina. NOW COMPLETE

troubled teachers - COMPLETE! SwanQueen AU. Geography teacher Emma Swan starts a new life far from her troubled past and meets history teacher Regina Mills. But all is not as it seems when it comes to the composed, intelligent, and beautiful brunette. Family struggles and difficult relationships lead to a friendship and soon something more blossoms. Rated M for Ch 7, 18, 22, 24, 28, 29, 31, 35 and 38

not a virgin anymore When college student Emma Swan wakes up one morning with no memory of what happened the night before she’s very surprised she finds herself in professor Mills’s bed. 

is that so, miss swan? - College student, Emma Swan, is confronted by her favorite professor and secret heart-throb, Dr. Regina Mills. What happens when Emma is forced to reveal her secrets? We shall see. AU. Slightly OOC at times. No magic. SwanQueen. Rated M for serious language and eventual sexy times between our two favorite ladies.

butterfly effect - in her final year of college, Emma finds she has more to account for than the extra credits she needs in order to graduate. Only… she doesn’t expect it to come in the form of her newest instructor, Professor Regina Mills. Complete. AU Swan Queen

a sophisticated seduction Emma’s a college student, working as an intern at the Dazzle Magazine for a powerful woman she has never had the good fortune of meeting. But everything in her life is about to change when they finally meet. Especially when one falls so deeply in love with the other and the insecurities from a broken marriage comes to light. (Not Based on The Devil Wears Prada)

some other faves

down east decisions - Massachusetts State Police Capt. Emma Swan leaves her red-hot career to become the police chief of sleepy Storybrooke, Maine. She’s hoping for a less-complicated, less-dangerous life, a desire that is dashed on both counts. AU. No magic. Crime drama and romance. Swan Queen is endgame.

that drunken night - Emma’s wasted and accidentally calls Regina instead of her mom. And Regina isn’t as loathe to talk to the blonde as she usually pretends. Did things change between them so radically while they were in Neverland? (No copyright infringement intended.)

chasing henry - SQ. Tired of the tricks and lies of both of his mothers, Henry follows the dwarves, Red and Granny when they use Tiny’s magic beans to return themselves to their old land. Emma and Regina both chase after him, and they reluctantly travel together through the Enchanted Forest in order to find him and bring him back home safely.

so does this make us both the other woman? - Set after 3b in a peaceful Storybrooke where Regina is with Robin and Emma’s fallen into a relationship with Hook. Shame about all that subtext that’s rapidly threatening to become text.

anonymous asked:

Oh almighty napkin arm with googly eyes, I humble peregrin dare come forth with a request... could you make some character design breakdowns for some more realistic characters? Like your power ranger fanart? I tried to break them down on my own, but I'm not sure I did it that well... it's incredibly useful and interesting... Keep being awesome, and thanks for how you already helped me anyway!

Thanks for the patience, had to mull this one over. The more complex a design gets, the more difficult it is to break down. Basic character design tips may not be enough…so let’s delve into:

Character Design Tips Part 2!

Before we start, it’ll help to read my last character design post, where I laid out four concepts: shapes, silhouettes, colors, and inspiration. In this post, I aim to build on and rephrase these in a way that hopefully makes it easier to apply them. I’ll be drawing examples from my Power Rangers (2017) fanart to illustrate my points.

(Disclaimers:)

  • (Ideally, you should already be comfortable with drawing people. If not, look into figure drawing, gesture drawing, etc.)
  • (Whereas my previous tips were more tried and true, the tips here are more my own thoughts, so they may be half-formed.)
  • (Again, these are not rules. They’re just tips to add to your toolbox; the more tools you have, the more versatile you’ll become.)

Without further ado, let’s start!

Based off what we know about shapes, silhouettes, colors and inspiration, I want to cover: lines and angles, external and internal silhouettes, values, and references.

1. Shapes => Lines and Angles

Last time, I laid out three basic shapes:round, box, and triangle.

Problem: limiting yourself to these 3 shapes can be useful and fun for simpler designs, but they may be too simple or look out of place on more complex designs.

Solution: let’s go to the next level! Instead of shapes, shift your thinking to lines and angles!

Lines can be curved, straight, or diagonal.
Angles can range from obtuse to acute angles.
Follow your intuition: what feeling do you get from each line or angle?
If I follow my own intuition, I see that:

  • curved lines = natural, soft
  • straight lines = balanced, grounded
  • diagonal lines = off-balance, in motion
  • obtuse angles = broad, relaxed
  • right angles = rigid, unnatural
  • acute angles = slim, dynamic

If this sounds familiar, you’re right! It’s just the shapes all over again: 

  • curved lines make round shapes
  • straight lines with obtuse/right angles make boxy shapes
  • diagonal lines with acute angles make triangular shapes

But lo! Since we broke the shapes into their smaller components, it’s much more flexible! Now we can use lines and angles for more complex designs:

2. Silhouette => External and Internal Silhouettes

Last time, I explained the silhouette test: if you black out the figure, it should still be readable.

Problem: blacking out the figure only tests the outline of the design, i.e. the external silhouette. But what about the inside of the design?

Solution: block in the figure and test for the internal silhouette! 

If you want not just an interesting outline, but an interesting costume, block in the major components of your design to see if it has a readable internal silhouette. This test can help you avoid boring or cluttered costumes and makes your design stand out. If your internal silhouette is too empty, try adding props or designs. If it’s too busy, simplify it.


3. Colors => Values

Last time, I talked about the 60-30-10 and 70-30 rules for color.

Problem: those rules work on the assumption that you’re only using 2 to 3 colors. But what if I want to use more colors?

Solution: good news! The same idea applies if you split your palette into 3 major values: shadows, midtones, and highlights.

Balance your palette by converting your colors to grayscale and applying the 60-30-10 rule to the values. This is related to the idea of silhouettes; if you get a nice internal silhouette, you’ll probably end up with a nicely balanced set of palette values, and vice versa.

(Fun fact! You can split your palette in different ways. In a watercolor tutorial, Miyazaki splits the palette into bright, dark, black, green 1, green 2, blue 1, and blue 2.)

4. Inspiration => References

“Good artists copy, great artists steal!” -Picasso

Problem: Coming up with something 100% original is tedious and doesn’t always give great results. It saps the inspiration right out of you!

Solution: It’s a lot easier to steal ideas from references!

Note: don’t just copy, steal! Cherry-pick/massage the aspects of the reference you find the most appealing and work them into your design. Ditch anything that you don’t care about. Make it your own! Make it something you can put your own name on! Below is the reference image I used for my designs:

And below is my fanart:

That’s it for now! Thanks for reading! If you guys want to see any other topics, feel free to ask and I can try my hand at it.

If you want to see my previous character design tips, click here.
If you want to see the full-size Power Rangers fanart lineup, click here.
If you want to see other character designs I’ve done, click here.

Not All Men

“Not all men are rapists,” my Dad would grunt as he scrolled through his friends’ Facebook profiles and read the articles about sexual assault they’d posted.

“Not all men are abusive,” my Dad would mutter as he did research to disprove the domestic violence statistics that bothered him so much.

“Not all men are like him,” I’d mouth to myself, as Dad threw Mom across the room for having the temerity to contradict something he’d said.

After hurting her one night, he came to my room a few hours later. “You’re a sweet boy,” he told me. “I know you’d never harm a woman, no matter how much she deserved it. Not all men are like me. You don’t have a temper.”

I did have a temper, though. And I seethed.

Years later, I left for college an angry, confused young man.

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{Final Chapter: PART 30} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; N/A.

“And in the end, he had everything he had only ever hoped of having; her, only her - for the rest of time.”

Warning: Although this chapter doesn’t have an M rating, there are some scenes of slight mature/sexual content.

This is the final chapter to this series! If you would like to read my author’s note, I have placed it at the end of this post after the chapter for those who wish to see it~ Thank you, and I hope you enjoy IWSY’s final chapter ^^

{Part 1} // {Part 29} {Final Chapter: Part 30}

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Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

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NHL!Bitty - Origin: From Samwell to Seattle

(I haven’t posted any of my background stuff on how Bitty gets from Samwell to the Schooners, so here’s my bullet point breakdown of how/when/why)

Part I - Hug Check | Part II - Chirping | Part III - Post-Season


- Senior year, Bitty is the first openly gay NCAA captain of any men’s sport. When Samwell wins the Frozen Four, commentators start speculating on him being a draft prospect. Jack isn’t out yet.

- ‘Get Bittle in the NHL’ goes viral as an equality issue and the NHL is under pressure to recruit him, which creates this divisive ‘is he really good enough to play’/’the league is homophobic’ situation among fans and within the NHL.

- Bitty gets a lot of heat from all sides and Jack is really worried about his bf, who is living every coming-out fear Jack’s ever had. The Falcs can’t recruit Bitty because Jack has already disclosed their relationship to management, so Jack can’t protect Bitty.

- Things go downhill quickly after a hacker leaks a series of emails between the Commissioner and several owners, wherein he says an AHL franchise needs to ‘take one for the team’ and recruit Bittle so the NHL won’t have to deal with the ‘problem’ anymore. 

- The league course-corrects hard and is bending over backward to get Bitty to sign off on their official apology, but Bitty is disgusted by the whole process and doesn’t want to participate in the draft just to make the league look better. He isn’t planning to go pro at all, and now he’s hesitant to move to Providence with Jack, concerned that he might accidentally out Jack and land him with the same PR problems. 

- Bitty goes back to Georgia the summer after he graduates. 

- After things calm down a bit, Bitty gets a call from the new Schooners owner, a progressive tech billionaire who hates the NHL commissioner and genuinely wants to sell Bitty on Seattle. Unsure of himself and his relationship, Bitty agrees to the meeting… 

- And surprise! Bitty loves Seattle, the team, the ownership group, the food, everything. Even less of a surprise, the team loves Bitty and offers him a two-year contract with an option for renewal.

- The distance hurts, but it actually makes things easier because the risk of Jack being outed is much less if he’s not sharing an apartment with Bitty.  

- Bitty understands now why Jack needs to prove himself before he comes out, the same way Bitty needs to prove himself now. Jack deserves that buffer, and Bitty can help in his own small way.

- At the same time, after seeing how Bitty was treated Jack doesn’t want to come out until his boyfriend is established enough that he won’t be remembered as ‘that gay hockey player’ or ‘Jack Zimmermann’s boyfriend’. They’re just two dumb boys looking out for each other. They agree to revisit coming out together after Bitty’s two-year contract ends.

- Bitty’s rookie year is a hell of an adjustment, he billets with d-man called Carter Morin who is a year younger than Bitty but still has three pro seasons under his belt. Carter is convinced Bitty will be a target because of his size and sexuality, so he becomes obsessed with teaching Bitty how to ‘defend’ himself. This basically boils down to lessons in ‘how to play dirty and not get caught’.

- During these lessons, Bitty realizes he has a lot of anger he’s not dealing with. He’s pissed about being marginalized by the league, the press that won’t stay out of his and Jack’s business, he’s pissed he can’t publicly be with his boyfriend, he’s furious WBC are planning to picket his first home game. He has years of repressed southern rage and he doesn’t have to play nice to make bad people feel good. Not anymore.

- Off the ice Bitty is a perfect gentleman, does tons of outreach, fundraising, he visits hospitals and coaches day-camps, after that first season he’s a fan favorite, but on the ice Bitty slowly becomes a living embodiment of ‘float like a butterfly, sting like a bee’; he’s a good player, everyone knows it, but now he’s absolutely ruthless and spends his fair share of time in the penalty box, initially for defending himself, later for defending others. 

- During a particularly aggressive Schooners game, a commentator jokingly describes a post-fight Bitty as Bob’s spiritual successor, coining the term ‘Bad Bittle’. Bob is elated, Jack is horrified.

- Bitty ultimately makes friends on the team, builds a following, and becomes an integral part in building Seattle’s fledgling franchise into a championship team.

- Schooners take the cup in Bitty’s second year and Jack is surprisingly okay with his boyfriend getting a ring before him, it means they’re one step closer to being untouchable

- The Falconers dethrone the Schooners the following season and win the championship. Jack and Bitty come out/marry on Jack’s cup day. They don’t wear wedding bands, they wear their cup rings.

Sigiling Selfies: How to Anti-Taglock Pictures of Yourself

So @dontusemycauldron mentioned this to me at some point, and it took a few days for it to really sink in. They told me how some people put sigils on their photos to prevent people from using them as taglocks for things like cursing. And I went, “well holy shit, that is fucking clever,” and proceeded to do it with every single one of my selfies I’ve posted to Tumblr. Not because I’m concerned, but I like to put faith in preventative measures. 

I decided I was going to show you guys how to do it - at least with SAI, because that’s the program I tend to use for art things now (and I can’t find a good crack of Photoshop anymore). However, any art or digital media program that makes use of layers and transparencies can be used for this technique.

First off, you want your sigils. I made two personal ones, and I also made two for Tumblr use. However, I’m going to recommend that you create your own sigils with your own statements of intent, if you can.

“This photo is bound from being used as a taglock.” 

“This photo is not successfully used as a taglock for cursing.”

Ideally, you want digital sigils with transparent backgrounds, so you can avoid as much visual disturbance to your picture - you don’t want people to see or know there is anything over top of it, right?

Anyway, now on to the (SAI) tutorial!

Open your selfie and your sigils; you can switch between them along the bottom of the SAI window. Copy and paste the sigils onto your picture. I do this by clicking on the sigil’s canvas, hitting Ctrl+A and then Ctrl+C, then selecting the canvas with the selfie and hitting Ctrl+V. I can show the screen commands, however, for those that aren’t so tech savvy:

The “paste” option is also in the “edit” menu, as you can see. When you’ve done that, your selfie should look something like this:

Well, you know, you won’t look like me…but your sigils will have pasted in the top left corner of your picture. And they’re very obviously visible. BUT fortunately we’re not done with it yet. 

Arrange your sigils over top of the face part of the selfie, however you want. I didn’t specify before, but the icon that looks like the cross with the arrows on each end (highlighted in blue here) :

…that’s the move tool; click on that, then on each separate layer, and you can move the layer around as you wish.) You definitely wanna do this before you change any of the transparency of the sigils, while you can still see them. Ultimately it doesn’t matter how you arrange them, just as long as they are on your face. Mine look like this:

It almost makes a heart shape, lol. So, those familar with SAI know where to look to see the layers. Mine were on the left-hand side by default, I know that is something you can change, however. They look like this:

On the bottom you can see the separate layers - your picture, and the sigils each on their own layer. Above that, you can see the “mode” and “opacity” tools. Those are the ones we care about.

Experiment with the mode if you want - it isn’t required, but it can help. I like to put mine on “overlay,” because it adds to the visualization of the sigils seeping into the picture and blending in to it. You need to click on each separate sigil layer to apply the mode. That makes it look like this:

And with that we’re almost done! Finally, just change each of the sigil layer’s opacity to 1% by clicking on the opacity bar and dragging it almost all the way down. You want them to not be at zero because they still need to be on the pictures and not “off,” but if you put them at any higher than 1%, you can still see them, and you definitely do not want people being able to see the sigils. Once you’re done that the selfie look like this:

Can you even tell there are sigils over top of that? There are. Four sigils, now, actually, lol. And this is how the layers look over on the side in SAI:

As you can see, the mode has been set to overlay on both, and they are both at 1% opacity. From there, save your picture (file, save as), feeling free to specify in the title that one has been magic’d. Then, you can upload them without any worry!

Of course, this can be done with sigils for other purposes - I just made this post with the intention of preventing selfies being used as taglocks, because that’s what I did to mine today. However, you can easily apply any sort of glamours to your selfies, if you desire. 

I hope this helps anyone, or inspires anyone! Let me know if you have any more questions, or if I wasn’t so clear about things! This is my first time making a tutorial for any art program, I dunno if I did any good… But, yeah, just let me know if you have more questions or anything! :)

Levi Ackerman: The Abuse Claim

Alright, so here I am with another long ass meta post. Only this time, this one is directed solely at the legend, Levi Ackerman himself. Yet again, I am seeing the “Levi is Abusive” mumbo jumbo and I have spent my two years in this fandom quiet about my opinions on this for the most part because I do not enjoy drama. However, after this last batch of Discourse™ that I have seen, I have been pushed beyond my ability to bite my tongue. 

This is Part One to a two part meta, and this is me basically trying to shine light on Levi’s actions a bit and why he behaves the way he does. In no way do I try to justify all of the shit he carries out so don’t think this is just a fangirl squeal post. I’m simply trying to better explain his character for the people who seem to think he is some kind of rage beast who beats kids for fun in his spare time. 

I will be putting this under a Read More because it is extremely long and also contains spoilers. I’d also like to state that this would be best read from a computer or the mobile website as it contains a metric fuckton of manga panels used for reference (seriously use any other means outside of the mobile app to read this because the app will butcher this post and cut out a majority of the images). If you are sitting down to read this, please make sure you are comfy, cozy, and drinking a nice warm beverage. Now then, 

DISCLAIMER: This is my personal opinion. In no way am I stating what I say here is completely accurate. if you disagree with my opinion, good for you! That’s your prerogative. However, If you are going to send me messages trying to argue points of view with me or send me hate messages because my opinion differs from your own; do us both a favor and just don’t even bother. WARNING: Major spoilers ahead.

First and foremost, this is the scene I see brought up the absolute most so I’d like to go ahead and address it first:

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2

Harry Styles’ solo album might be the most anticipated debut this side of the millennium. Following years as the bullseye in the global behemoth that was One Direction, the singer is taking center stage with a self-titled effort that’s a classic cocktail of psychedelia, Britpop, and balladry. If it was a color, it would be the baby blue of Jimi Hendrix’s Fender Stratocaster or the soft pink of Mick Jagger’s suit when he performed on “Top Of The Pops” in 1971. It’s rock and it’s roll, but it’s also soft and sensitive. Produced by Jeff Bhasker (Kanye West, Fun.) it’s a record that could force the position of mainstream radio by ushering in a reprise of proper music — ensembles, verse-chorus-verse, rich instrumentation, or, basically, Adele’s bag of tricks.

Despite the red herring of lead single ‘Sign Of The Times’ (it clocks in at just under six minutes in length), the album is a short shrift 40 minutes and contains ten songs that are largely about women. Unlike Robbie Williams and Justin Timberlake before him, there’s a deepened millennial sensibility to being a leading man. Harry is a sensitive soul; A post-Drake phenomenon; A serious pop performer with enviable vocal chops and a gifted ability to convey a song’s emotional heft. He oozes class, ease and a sense of import without thrusting forth from the hips, or wreaking of a self-satisfied sense of boyband emancipation. Both respectful of his past and nervous for his future, “Harry Styles,” the album, looks both ways. - Variety

Read on for a track-by-track:

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A Target Retales PSA

Hey guys.

So I’ve got some bad news and I’ve got some good news. 

The bad news: I’m now on medical leave from work.

I’ve been struggling with some medical issues for years now, but they’ve been progressively getting worse and worse, and now I’m at a point where I just can’t be on my feet or just generally active for more than a few minutes at a time, let alone long enough to work a shift. 

Doctors have been struggling to figure out a diagnosis. So far all that we know is that it’s probably something neurological. I’ve got some tests this week that hopefully will shed some light on things, but honestly, I’m not overly optimistic. So until things get figured out and I can get some sort of treatment started, I’m on leave from work.

Which means no new retales for the time being.

The good news: This does not mean I’m out of content.

I’ve had a lot of projects I’ve been working on/wanting to work on for a while now, but between work and the physical/emotional toll that going through work, I haven’t been able to give them my full attention. Thankfully, being bedridden goes hand-in-hand with digital content in my case.

I’ve got a Target Retales podcast in the works! In fact, the first episode is going to be published later tonight!

I’ve got a YouTube channel! A lot of you are subscribed, but I’ve neglected it for the last couple of months. But now I’m back in action, posting at least once a week if not twice, and I’ve got some great plans for videos coming up!

I’ve got a couple other podcasts in the works! I’ve teased the one wherein I over-analyze pop media and expose the terrifying truths of fictional universes (Lightning McQueen is an abuser?), and I’m planning a scripted D&D comedy series!

And I’ve been teasing one huge project for months and months now, but I’ve had to put it off for a while with everything going on, but now I can finally buckle down and get to work on it, so I feel ready to let you guys in on the secret.

I’m working with an agency and writing a Target Retales book.

So even if I’m not releasing new stories, there’s still a TON of content coming, both Retales-related and not!

Wanna help me out?

There is, of course, the catch. While I’m super excited to be able to work on all of my projects, I’m now not able to work at work, which is, you know, how money is made.

I’m not in any sort of financial crisis, so I won’t be asking for donations or anything, but if you like my content and would like to support me, this would be a great time to check out my Patreon. I’m going to be adding some new perks and changing things up in the near future, but I can guarantee there will be all sorts of fun things in store if you decide to help me out here. In fact, any current Patrons or new Patrons who join by the end of the month will receive a hand-written letter from me, including unreleased Retales and a few stickers.

In Summary:

I’m taking medical leave from work, no new Retales will be released but all sorts of projects are still in the works, including a podcast and a book, and I’m offering a cool bonus if you support me during this rough patch on my Patreon.

Thank you all so much for all the support you’ve shown me since the start. I wouldn’t be where I am without you and I hope you enjoy the content I continue to make.

3

So this handsome fellow is Peter Doyle, longtime partner of the great American poet Walt Whitman. He is often viewed as an enigmatic figure, but what we do know about him tells us that he was quite remarkable in his own right.

Pete was born in Limerick, Ireland, and came to the United States with his family when he was eight years old. After the death of his father, he worked hard to support his widowed mother and siblings. One of his brothers, Francis, became a police officer in Washington DC, where the family lived. Francis ended up fighting for the Union during the Civil War, while Pete served in the Confederate Army. He saw serious action and was wounded, discharged from the army, and promptly arrested when he attempted to go back to DC. He managed to get off the hook by claiming that, as an Irish immigrant, he really didn’t care one way or the other about Union versus Confederacy. True or not, this worked, and he was freed.

It was at this point that Pete took a job as a horsecar conductor. In the nearly empty streetcar, on a stormy night in early 1865, Pete met Walt Whitman. Pete as 21 at the time, while Walt was 45. According to the younger man, it was pretty much love at first sight. “We understood,” Pete said. Walt was the only passenger on the streetcar, and he didn’t get off at his planned stop. Instead, he rode with Pete until the end of the route, at which point the two men spent their first night together.

They were inseparable for the next seven or eight years. They’d often go for long walks together, with Walt reciting poetry or passages from Shakespeare. I am 100% not making this up.

And their letters. Oh my God, their letters. Not many of Pete’s to Walt survive, but Walt’s to Pete are so full of love that they’d melt the coldest heart. A sample quote: “My darling, if you are not well when I come back I will get a good room or two in some quiet place, and we will live together and devote ourselves altogether to the job of curing you, and making you stronger and healthier than ever. I have had this in my mind before but never broached it to you.”

As this excerpt implies, Walt very much wanted to make a home with his young partner. Sadly, this would never be possible. Pete, as the oldest unmarried son, saw it as his duty to provide for his mother and siblings. They – and the society in which they lived – had certain expectations. While Walt was on good terms with Pete’s family, getting them to accept wholeheartedly this same-sex relationship was an entirely different matter. The two men had to do with spending nights together.

Pete was definitely a tremendously positive influence on Walt and his work. He persuaded Walt to delete three poems dealing with themes of despair and unrequited love from the 1867 edition of Leaves of Grass. He may have also influenced one of his partner’s best-known works, “O Captain! My Captain!” The tone deals with the death of Abraham Lincoln and the end of the Civil War. It is unusual amongst Whitman’s works because it is rhymed, rather than written in free verse. Walt noted that Pete had quite the rhyming ability, often rattling off charming limericks. Also, some have argued that the metaphor of the ship on the rough sea is a kind of nod to Pete’s immigrant background.

The young immigrant was also an eyewitness to the greatest tragedy of the day. He was in the balcony of Ford’s theater on the night of April 14, 1865, when Lincoln was assassinated. He recounted hearing the shot, and then seeing Booth leap onto the stage. Later, Walt drew on this account as a source of information for his annual Lincoln lectures. And he wouldn’t have heard any of it, if it weren’t for his boyfriend!

Walt suffered a stroke in 1873, and moved to Camden, New Jersey, to live with his brother. He ended staying there until his death in 1892. Pete was unable to find work in Camden, though he did eventually get a job in Philadelphia. They saw each other only sporadically, and at one point Walt had gone so long without hearing from Pete that he thought the younger man had died. He hadn’t, but he was put off by the presence of a housekeeper and other caretakers in his partner’s house. He stayed away, for fear of rousing suspicion as to the true nature of the relationship. After Walt’s death, Pete expressed regret for his hesitation.

In 1897, Pete allowed Richard Maurice Bucke (Walt’s literary executor) to publish the letters written by Walt to Pete. The result was a book called Calamus. No one who read it would have any doubts as to the nature of the love between these two men. It made Pete the black sheep of his Catholic family, and his sister forbade the reading of the book in her house. I think we have to give the man some serious props here. It had to take a hell of a lot of courage to let something like that hit the presses in the 19th century. Maybe he was proud of himself, his partner, and their relationship, and saw no shame or sinfulness in any of it. I sincerely hope that this was the case, and that there was an element of defiance of social and religious norms that went into the publication of Calamus.

Pete remained a member of the “inner circle” of Whitman devotees until his own death in 1907. He is buried in DC’s Congressional Cemetery. His grave marker is a short walk from that of Leonard Matlovich, which famously reads, “they gave me a medal for killing two men, and a discharge for loving one.” Nowadays, Peter Doyle is usually included on history tours of the cemetery which focus on LGBT figures.

Excellent work has been done by Whitman scholars in order to rescue Pete from the shadows of history. We are beginning to understand just how much he influenced Walt, and what a fascinating man he is. “Pete the Great,” as he liked to call himself, is an enigma no more.

And now, to finish off this already very long post, a quick guide to the photos:

Top: Pete aged about 25 years, taken in 1868. Cool hat.

Middle: Pete aged 57, taken circa 1900. Cool mustache.

Bottom: Pete and Walt, circa 1868, ridiculously in love. This might be my favorite historical photograph of all time.

Realtalk though, even if Sirius hadn’t taken the fall for the Potters’ deaths, I doubt he would have been given the opportunity to raise Harry. To suggest that he would have requires that we ignore that:

  • Albus Dumbledore was essentially a law unto himself within the wizarding world at the time - for all that he tried to avoid appearing, even to himself, to be seeking power, Dumbledore was one of the most significant political figures in Wizarding Britain and, indeed, Wizarding Europe at the time. In addition to controlling the education of the vast majority of wizards and witches in the British Isles for nearly half a century, he also holds leadership positions in both the Wizengamot and the International Confederation of Wizards for Harry’s entire childhood. It took turning the Minister for Magic against him to even start to erode his power base, and even then, there was a significant majority [edit, because I can’t type apparently:] minority both within the Ministry and in the general populace that remained loyal to Albus Dumbledore over Fudge and his administration. Although it’s most explicitly tied to Slytherin ideals of ambition, there’s an almost feudal factionalism that’s present throughout wizarding British society, and no one seems to have questioned Dumbledore’s right to sponsor an organization like the Order of the Phoenix until he fell thoroughly out of favor with the Ministry. In the aftermath of Voldemort’s first fall, it probably would have been political and social suicide for anyone to question Albus Dumbledore’s right to make choices as to the upbringing of the orphaned child of two of his proteges.
  • Petunia’s status as Harry’s closest blood relative was magically significant, but probably not legally significant - if Dumbledore hadn’t unilaterally decided who got to raise Harry, can you really see any British Wizarding authority favoring the muggle relatives of a wizarding child born into a wizarding family in a custody case? Especially muggle relatives that didn’t want the kid in the first place? Harry was sent to the Dursleys entirely because of the protective blood magic that Lily worked with her death, and Dumbledore clearly overrode whatever the usual process of finding a guardian would have been in order to ensure Harry got that protection. This wasn’t a compromise or a backup plan for if another guardian wasn’t available. If Dumbledore had wished Harry to be raised within the wizarding world, he would have had no trouble finding a guardian that suited his needs. James was a pureblood; Harry is probably related within a few generations to a third of wizarding Britain. For that matter, if he hadn’t had reason to give Harry to someone else, it would have been very much Dumbledore’s style to decide to raise him himself.
  • Dumbledore doesn’t actually seem to like Sirius - he never goes so far as to badmouth the man to Harry, probably because shittalking Sirius would run contrary to his carefully cultivated image of being Wise and Fair and Above Such Pettiness. But Dumbledore seems to be frequently irritated with Sirius and clearly has little concern for his physical or emotional wellbeing, even when they’re nominally allies. Dumbledore couldn’t be bothered to find Sirius accommodations less actively traumatic than Grimmauld Place when Sirius was almost entirely dependent on Dumbledore and the rest of the Order. Would he have honored Sirius’s claim as Harry’s godfather, without really significant outside pressure? Would Sirius have been able to get backup from anyone Dumbledore would actually have listened to? Who’s going to win that battle - a probably-unemployed 21-year-old who has explosively burned bridges with his wealthy and influential family, or the man who is essentially the uncrowned king of magical Britain?

I propose instead: Sirius fails to get custody of Harry, who is sent off to his aunt and uncle as per canon. Sirius then proceeds to do an end-run around Dumbledore, instead focusing his not-inconsiderable charisma on getting into Arabella Figg’s good graces and, from there, insinuating himself into the Dursleys’ social circles. Probably this involves some intensive cramming to catch up on years of muggle studies he may or may not have actually taken but almost certainly didn’t pay attention to at Hogwarts. Depending on how much attention Petunia paid to Lily’s social life, Sirius may need to avoid her and interact only with Vernon; I have little doubt Sirius could pull this off, nor do I think Vernon would necessarily find this suspicious.

Harry grows up with occasional but reliable contact with an adult who tells him he’s neither crazy nor at fault when he starts having magical outbursts, takes an interest in his life, and also sometimes turns into a fluffy doggy when none of the other grown-ups are looking.

Vernon Dursley is utterly outraged when Mr. Black, who up to ‘till now has always seemed perfectly respectable and urbane, intercepts the third owl that tries to bring Harry his acceptance letter and hand delivers it to the kid, who is not actually surprised because Sirius has been teaching him about wizarding culture on the sly since he was like seven.

givenchy & gold (m.)

;pairing — jungkook/reader

;warnings — sex | implied exhibitionism | mild dom/sub tones | if u’ve got a praise kink then ur gonna love this | mentions of daddy kinks | instances of spanking 

;summary — you’re the supervisor of the clothing department with a lot of useless lingerie knowledge, jungkook is the jewelry department’s defiant hot boy who flirts in wristwatch brands. basically an upscale retail au, but with lots of implied under-the-counter sex. and when an opportunity presents itself to fuck each other in the boss’s office after hours, you’re both too hot for each other to say no.

;word count — 20k im so sorry

part i | part ii (coming soon!)

Keep reading

An Analysis of Bakugou’s Superiority Complex

I think you’re at least kind of right. Bakugou knows Midoriya has something that he lacks, and that causes him to feel bitterness towards Midoriya. It’s also hard for Bakugou to deal with the idea that Midoriya is more like All Might than he is. Although, I don’t Bakugou ever admired Midoriya back when Midoriya was Quirkless. I think he hated Midoriya because Midoriya makes him feel weak.

I think Bakugou’s hatred of Midoriya comes from him having a textbook case of superiority complex.

A superiority complex is “a psychological defense mechanism in which feelings of superiority counter or conceal feelings of inferiority.” In other words, Bakugou’s narcissism and feelings of superiority are due to him trying to cover for his inferior feelings. When Bakugou is feeling weaker than Midoriya in some cases, he’ll lash out against Midoriya and treat him as inferior in order to protect his feelings of weakness. Whether Midoriya realizes it or not, he picks on Bakugou’s insecurities, and, in order to protect his ego, Bakugou bullies Midoriya and tries to make himself feel superior.

I don’t think Bakugou’s superiority complex has always existed. I think Midoriya simply triggered it.

From when he was a young child, Bakugou has always been praised.

As his mom points out, all that praise for his talents has made him narcissistic.

Bakugou’s feelings of superiority come from all the praises during his childhood. That much is self-explanatory. Because of those praises, he has high expectations for himself.

Because Bakugou was praised for his Quirk and Midoriya had no Quirk, it was easy for Bakugou to come to the conclusion that Midoriya is inferior.

As a result, when Midoriya, someone who’s supposed to be beneath him, tries to help him, it’s a huge blow to Bakugou’s ego. Midoriya is supposed to be a Quirkless loser. Bakugou isn’t supposed to need his help.

Any time Midoriya tries to help Bakugou, it makes Bakugou feel weak. In order to feel less weak and to prove his superiority, he bullies Midoriya and brings him down. A superiority complex exists to cover for an inferiority complex. In Bakugou’s case, his inferiority complex comes from Midoriya making him feel weak and like he has lower self-worth. His superiority complex kicks in when he bullies and brings Midoriya down in order to feel stronger. If Bakugou can keep convincing himself that Midoriya is weak and that he’s superior, then Bakugou can feel strong. The weaker Midoriya is, the stronger Bakugou feels. It’s a vicious mindset that Bakugou develops over the years, and he can’t get over this mindset and acknowledge Midoriya’s strength easily.

Bakugou’s superiority complex is so bad that he even considers losing if it means not having to work with Midoriya. Working with Midoriya is just that big of a bruise to his ego, and it makes him feel stronger thinking Midoriya is not good enough to work with him.

He still has to mentally think Midoriya is a piece of shit even while working with him.

Bakugou has gotten into this mindset where he has to prove he’s better than Midoriya in order to make himself stronger. Midoriya makes him feel weak. In order to combat those feelings, Bakugou has to put Midoriya down.

Midoriya getting a Quirk from All Might and catching up to Bakugou in terms of ability makes Bakugou feel weak. That’s why he can’t accept Midoriya’s strength so easily. Midoriya is supposed to always be beneath Bakugou. When he catches up to Bakugou, that only pisses Bakugou off because that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s a failure on Bakugou’s part to allow Midoriya to catch up to him.

Once Bakugou realizes Midoriya received All Might’s power, he thinks that means there must be something Midoriya has that Bakugou doesn’t. Midoriya did something right while Bakugou did something wrong. Since All Might chose Midoriya, a kid who was always weaker than Bakugou, it makes Bakugou feel weak. This aggravates his inferiority complex. Bakugou feels so weak that he blames himself for getting captured by the villains and leading to All Might’s downfall.

It doesn’t help Bakugou’s inferiority complex when he feels like Midoriya is always looking down on him. He hates it when people do that.

Just a reminder, if people feel weak or incompetent and they let that consume themselves, then they have an inferior complex.

An inferior complex isn’t always conscious. In Bakugou’s case, it was initially subconscious and then became more conscious after All Might lost his powers. His inferiority complex is aggravated by anyone who makes him feel weak. Midoriya especially makes it worse. However, other people have aggravated Bakugou’s inferiority complex as well.  

If someone stands against Bakugou, Bakugou wants that person to give it his or her all. If that person doesn’t, to Bakugou, that person is looking down on him and making him feel weak.

Todoroki does just that during the Sport’s Festival.

Bakugou’s superiority complex isn’t the only defense mechanism for his inferiority complex. Often he just gets REALLY PISSED OFF against the people who make him feel weak. For instance, this is what he’s like after his fight with Todoroki.

Bakugou also shuns anyone who makes him feel weak, like Todoroki for example.

There are other smaller examples of other students picking on Bakugou’s inferiority complex. Midoriya and Todoroki are just the big examples.

Not everyone with a superiority complex is as destructive as Bakugou. In fact, out of all the students with an inferiority complex, Bakugou seems to cope with it the worst since he hurts others in the process.

Aoyama is a milder example someone with of a superiority complex. Remember, a superiority complex is simply a defense mechanism for an inferiority complex.

People, like Aoyama, who feel insecure about themselves and let that insecurity consume them have an inferiority complex.

To cope with the inferiority complex, they act more superior. Although, in Aoyama’s case, instead of tearing people down like Bakugou, he simply boasts himself, tries to get attention, and acts like he’s amazing.

Aoyama acts like he loves himself, and he loves the attention. There could be an argument to be made that Aoyama doesn’t have a superiority complex since he doesn’t bring others down in order to make himself feel superior. However, he boasts how amazing he is, gets dramatic, and seeks attention as a way to cope with his feelings of inferiority.

Right now, Bakugou and Aoyama are the only students I can think of who have developed a superiority complex from their inferiority complex.

There are certainly other students who have an inferiority complex. It’s inevitable given the nature of being a hero. Being a hero is very competitive. In order to be successful, students need to stand out from their peers, and their peers in turn will will use their weaknesses against them. Villains also take advantage of any weakness students may have. It makes sense for students to feel like they’re inadequate compared to the amazing talent of their peers or to feel like they’re not as strong as they should be.

Interestingly enough, it doesn’t really look like Midoriya has an inferiority complex. An inferiority complex occurs when people become too focused on their deficiencies and start to feel intense lower self-worth. Midoriya doesn’t have that. Midoriya has usually been pretty pragmatic about his weaknesses and doesn’t let them make him think he’s inadequate or worth less.

Bakugou’s bullying never caused Midoriya to give up or feel worth less. Midoriya has always thought Bakugou is amazing. As a result, Bakugou became a role model for Midoriya instead of someone who pushes him down.

Hearing that Togata could have been the successor for One for All and that Nighteye thinks Togata would make a better successor doesn’t make Midoriya think he is unworthy of One for All. Midoriya still thinks he’s worthy of One for All and will push himself to prove it.

Keep in mind, Midoriya not having an inferiority complex does not mean he isn’t sometimes humble or hard on himself. He’s not cocky. He will have moments where he doesn’t take credit for his achievements or is disappointed in himself. That’s part of human nature. 

Here, Midoriya is giving others credit for his achievements. 

When he says this, he’s not saying he doesn’t deserve to be where he is or that he’s not deserving of his Quirk. He’s simply giving people who have helped him throughout is life credit. He wants to be the number one hero for their sake as well as his own. That’s not an inferiority complex. 

During the moments Midoriya is hard on himself, it’s usually because it’s the rational conclusion, such as in the example shown below. 

All Might tells Midoriya that he can only use to five percent of his power. Midoriya reasonably thinks that doesn’t sound like a lot. Midoriya isn’t being unreasonably hard on himself or thinks he’s weak. He’s just coming to the rational conclusion based on what he knows. Midoriya knows he needs to work on controlling his Quirk without breaking his bones. Midoriya feeling like he has a lot to work on doesn’t mean he thinks he’s a lesser being or has low self-esteem. 

People having moments where they’re hard on themselves or think they can do better is normal. An inferiority complex is when those inferior feelings happen all the time whether subconsciously or not. Bakugou often feels weak, and this manifests into the angry and mean-spirited behavior we know. Bakugou always subconsciously or consciously thinks he’s weak. It’s a more general feeling rather than one that happens occasionally. Midoriya doesn’t always think he’s not good enough or not deserving. If he’s not good enough in a certain area, then he’ll come to the rational conclusion for that particular area. An inferiority complex is a general feeling of inferiority rather than the occasional moments of feeling inferior. It makes people feel like they’re worth less overall. It’s a neurotic condition, meaning people with an inferiority complex worry frequently about their inferiority, even when it’s irrational or not important. The negative attitudes at times are irrational. 

Take Momo’s inferiority complex for example. She is very sensitive to her shortcomings from the Sports Festival. She is very hard on herself for not living up to her high expectations. She even goes as far as saying she “hasn’t left behind any noteworthy results.” Even though Momo is a very rational thinker, this is a VERY harsh criticism on her part and has affected her attitude since then. 

Momo’s negative feelings about herself occur when she compares herself to Todoroki. She starts feeling not good enough and loses confidence in herself. An inferiority complex affects the general perception and behavior one has towards himself or herself. 

Her inferiority complex prevents her from speaking up about a plan because she thinks she’s not good enough to share her idea. 

She thinks so little of herself that she comes to the conclusion that if Todoroki’s plan didn’t work, then hers can’t work either. 

An inferiority complex affects the behavior of individuals. In Momo’s case, hers makes her more passive because she feels like she’s not good enough to voice her opinion. In Aoyama’s case, it makes him more self-centered in order to compensate for his inferior feelings. In Bakugou’s case, it makes him become a bully because bringing people down makes him feel more superior. 

Midoriya not having an inferior complex makes sense. Midoriya is supposed to be Bakugou’s foil. Bakugou’s weaknesses are supposed to be Midoriya’s strengths.

If both boys have an inferiority complex, then they don’t make that good of foils. While Bakugou has feelings of weakness that he lets consume him. Midoriya doesn’t let his flaws make him feel weak or insecure and tries to push himself to be number one anyway because he believes he’s worthy of being number one.

Keep in mind, not everyone with an inferiority complex lets it hold them back or has harmful ways to cope with the inferiority complex like Bakugou does. An inferiority complex is simply a constant feeling of being inadequate and not measuring up. Some people with an inferiority complex use it to improve the skills they think they lack. It can be a driving force to improve. Bakugou, in a way, has also used his inferiority complex to improve himself. Unfortunately, he also tries to handle his feelings of weakness by lashing out and bringing others down.

The worst way to cope with an inferiority complex is to develop a superiority complex from it. People with a superiority complex still have low self-esteem like others with an inferiority complex. However, they also bring down others in order to cope with their low self-esteem and end up being isolated from people as a result.

College Life 101

Alrighty folks, here are some nifty tips on how I survived (and could have better survived) college: 

  • As soon as you have your schedule, email your professors. Everyone. Especially if you have questions about the course, if you’re going to miss, etc. also make sure you do it from your school email, many professors will not check an email if it isn’t from a school address. 
  • On move in day, bring a door stop.  moving in is so much easier when you don’t need someone to hold the door for everything. 
  • Shoe racks and command strips/hooks will be your best friend. Use the racks for misc. things like utensils, seasonings, Keurig mixes, hot chocolate, etc. 
  • Bring a whiteboard/corkboard. Write down your classes and anything you need to get done for those classes and make sure that you keep it updated. On the cork side post up papers with important numbers, a map of campus, and other things you get. 
  • SIGN UP FOR ACTIVITIES (ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE ON A SMALL CAMPUS) otherwise you’re not going to have a fun experience. Even if it’s just something you THINK you may have a slight interest in, try it! 
  • Go to one or two sporting events, just for the hell of it
  • Put important dates in your phone calendar or even a planner. Somewhere you will be reminded of them. Times and dates are critical. 
  • Eat. and eat well. 
  • Use chegg, upper classmen, or other resources for textbooks before you buy them. Campus bookstores are astronomically expensive and it can be a lot cheaper going somewhere else. I use Chegg and they also send you free tide pods, coffee samples, etc. 
  • Bring medicine that you’ve used in the last two years, even if you haven’t used it in a while just to be safe. 
  • If you’re gonna do laundry on the weekends Friday and Saturday nights OR Sunday mornings are prime time. Be prepared for staying up late or getting up early to do laundry 
  • PUT. A TIMER. ON. YOUR. LAUNDRY. Seriously, when you have to share a laundry room there is nothing more annoying than someone who won’t move their laundry out for other people. 
  • On a related note DO NOT THROW OTHER PEOPLE’S LAUNDRY ON THE FLOOR. Fold it up, leave it on the dryers or w/e with a little note. Don’t be an asshole. 
  • Keep extra pads and tampons around everywhere you go. Help yourself and/or ya menstruating friends out. 
  • Bring a phone/laptop charger with you throughout the day. I know I personally have some long breaks between my classes where I do homework and w/e
  • Use Google docs for your assignments, or other programs that back up your work to the cloud. My laptop broke halfway through the semester and the only thing that saved me was Google Docs because my school uses gmail
  • Download Groupme. Right now. Do it. It’s a great way to create group chats, keep them in one place, and keep them backed up somewhere, you’re gonna have some for group projects, your dorm, any programs, etc. 
  • Bring a three hole punch, scissors, glue, tape, notecards, and binders. Also get pocketed folders for any important research papers you may need to turn in. 
  • ALSO DRY ERASE MARKERS ARE A LIFE SAVER. bring them around for studying in empty classrooms it’s v helpful
  • COLOR CODE YOUR BINDERS/NOTE BOOKS/STICKY NOTES. Your binder for one class and all its accessories should be one colors. Color organize your notes. (If you’re colorblind, use patterns or something simple for you.) 
  • Try typing up your notes after classes, save them to your laptop and whatever online thing you use. Sometimes you’ll need your notes and you either won’t have your notebook, laptop, or both and it can be very important to keep your notes accessible. 
  • Make use of tutoring services or other students/friends that are good in your classes. C’s get degrees and if people can help you understand it better then WOO
  • Try not to miss too many classes, but if you do make sure you contact your professors about it (or someone in that class.) 
  • Sleep is v important, but can also be too good so set alarms at least a half hour before your classes to get ready and go. 

Take deep breaths. Make friends. Take no shit, do no harm

((These are based off of my personal experiences, feel free to add on if you think of something))