and now something completely different


Newt: And now, boy, it’s time to make Mummy proud. 
Jacob: Yes, Newt.
Newt: I could have not been more clearly talking to the thunderbird. 

Brooklyn 99; season 4, episode 5: Halloween IV 

for @inarticulate-flailing

Now for something completely different 

(Requests now closed)

who should you fight: fe lords ed.
  • Marth: he doesn't want to fight you. don't make him do this. he might not beat you up, but if you win his wifey ( & Merric ) will.
  • Alm: scary. watch out for the bow. you might be able to take him, but he's ruthless enough you should avoid direct confrontation.
  • Celica: not many people know how to use swords & magic without getting a horse first. watch out. she's hiding something.
  • Sigurd: why are you picking fights with a pile of ash, this one's on you 0/10
  • Celice: let's face it, you probably don't know much about him, and if you do, why are you trying to fight him? drop it. move on.
  • Leaf: this man may not be the best fighter, but he can fight FOREVER. do you want that? Leaf chasing you down? eternally? don't do it unless you're sure you can take him.
  • Roy: he may not be the toughest, but his sword is on fire and he can swing it around like a butter knife. fight him, but be careful.
  • Lyn: she is SO FAST. she might not hurt you much, but you won't be able to hit her at all. avoid fighting Lyn.
  • Eliwood: Eliwood is probably fighting you because Hector dared him too. determined, but not especially threatening. you can probably take him as long as he's not on a horse. fight Eliwood, but don't let him use Durandal.
  • Hector: don't fight Hector. If you fight Hector he will keep asking you to fight. You don't want to fight Hector. you can't kill Hector.
  • Ephraim: fight Ephraim. He wants to fight you. he'll win, but he'll be cool about it after and then you'll be bros. if you win, though, you'll regret it.
  • Eirika: Eirika is cool to fight. you may actually win, but if you win, you'll have to deal with Ephraim, so maybe you should just take the L on this one.
  • Ike: don't fight Ike. Ike has fought so much. he's got a sword that shoots lasers. he's got a bunch of friends. you don't want to fight Ike, but he wants to fight you. resist temptation. he'll be a good bro either way.
  • Micaiah: don't fight Micaiah. she doesn't want to fight you. she's much better at healing. if you don't fight you, she'll fix you up after you lose to some one else.
  • Kris: don't fight Kris. if you don't know why not, that's reason enough.
  • Chrom: fight Chrom. he deserves it, and then he'll laugh and take you out to dinner, whether or not you win.
  • Robin: don't fight Robin. Robin is not as cool about losing as Chrom, and has the brains to make up for any flaw they might have. also, they might have Galeforce.
  • Corrin: fight Corrin. they could learn a thing or two about fighting. they won't be mad at you for winning.

Newt: Wow, and how long have you been training to be a prat?
Percival: You can’t address me that way.
Newt: I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat…my Lord?

Merlin (BBC Series); Season 1, Episode 1: The Dragon’s Call

for @shakespeareaddict

Now for something completely different

(Not taking any more requests that are not about Parks and Recreation. Please no more)

And now for something completely different.

Me and CK are back from the trip to Georgia. We’ll soon be back to our regularly scheduled askblog comic. In the meantime here’s some pictures from when I made the AFAC crew in the Sims 4 and goofed off. Cause why not.

Had to split them into a few separate households cause there’s a lot of ‘em. I made them with the idea being that this is some sort of slice-of-life-where-everyone-is-humans AU.

I had Toriel adopt Aidrian because I didn’t want Frisk’s biological parents in my sim funtimes. Might add Jason’s family later once I’ve sussed out with CC what his parents and siblings look like.

…Nice pose Chara. >u>

It’s weird that Alphys is the same height as Undyne in sims, cause all sims are the same height depending on their age. At least Undyne is ripped and Alphys is squishy. That will have to do.

I had them be married from the start, cause why not. And since Sims 4 has a lot of cool gender-related options available now, I set Alphys as “able to make sims pregnant” so that they could have biological children in the future. Again, cause why not.

The skelleton fam. Again it’s weird that Sans is the same height as everyone but this will do. Had to take a lot of creative liberties with the hair and skin, but I’m pretty happy with the results.

And last but certainly not least, Mettaton and Napstablook. Mettaton took the most advantage of all the gender-related stuff. He is male, has a female bodytype, a male voice, feminine clothes except for the formal outfits which are suits, makeup, a feminine hairstyle, and he’s “able to impregnate sims”.

AFAC-Napstablook is agender, but unfortunately they do not have this option in sims, so they’re set as male in the game. Same with Frisk and Chara who are set as male and female respectively.

Shenanigans below the cut~

Keep reading


Percival: You’re not stupid, Credence.
Credence: I am actually. I’m failing almost everything.
Percival: There must be something you’re good at.
Credence: I can fit my whole fist in my mouth. Want to see?
Percival: No, thank you.

Mean Girls (2004)

for anon

Now for something completely different

(Requests now closed)

And now for something completely different: a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach giving birth. 

What, you say? You thought cockroaches just laid eggs? Well, they do! Just… some species incubate their eggs - still within their eggsac- internally and then ‘birth’ them once they’ve hatched. (This is called being ovoviviparous). 

It’s cool and gross and fascinating and not something most people ever get to see, so I got permission to share this great video my friend Cindi took of one of the collection cockroaches giving birth. I’ve tried to tag it as thoroughly as possible. 


Karamel Appreciation Week: Day 1 >> The moment you started shipping karamel

We have to go!

Hello!  So this isn’t speculative or anything but just a funny sweet little drabble that takes place after the events of Season 5.  It’s slightly NSFW.

Felicity lays in the bed relaxed, feeling the mild aftershocks from the vibrations that rocked her body cocoon her in a warm laziness.  She keeps her eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of all her nerve endings firing.  Dimly aware of the hands gripping her waist, the scratchy beard currently making its way from her center where it had recently been feasting.  Lips placing small kisses on her stomach then inching slowly up her torso.  She peeks an eye open and sees the sheets still draped around Oliver’s head, shoulder and chest obscuring him from view.  Felicity sighs happily, one hand still tangled in the hair on his head, the other arm loosely draping a shoulder.  

“Not a bad way to start the morning,” she murmurs.  He doesn’t reply, too busy kissing her breast, pulling the nipple into his mouth before licking it lightly.  In response, she arches her back slightly and he slides his arm in the gap holding her to him.  She lets her head hang loosely back, her mouth parting slightly, breath quickening, feeling small bubbles of excitement starting to re-form.

He presses an arm down into the mattress, pulling himself up and out of the sheets, so that he can lean down and kiss her on the mouth, sliding his tongue into hers, nipping at her lip gently.

“MmmHmm” Oliver rumbles against her mouth.  He pulls away and she opens her eyes to see him looking down at her smiling.

Felicity blushes, for some reason, the intensity of his blue eyes focused on her makes her suddenly self-conscious, “What?” she says.

“I love the way you look right now.”

“Why, because I look like a woman who’s been well satisfied?” Felicity teases.

Oliver laughs, “a little.” Then he shakes his head, his eyes softening, “because it’s just for me.  When we’re alone, I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.”

Oliver leans down, kisses Felicity again.  Felicity wraps her arms around him, pulling him down on top of her, luxuriating in the feel of his muscular form pressed against her softer form.  

She turns her head to the side as Oliver trails kisses down her jaw line to the nape of her neck. She stares at the alarm clock ‘7:45am.’ It takes a moment to register.  SHIT.  7:45 AM.

“Is that the time?” She asks, panic making her voice rise into a squeak.  Oliver doesn’t respond, merely grunting as he continues to suck at her neck intently.

Felicity slaps at his shoulders, scrambling to get out from under Oliver.  “Oh my god, why didn’t you tell me it was so late!”  Ignoring his murmured protestations, she bounces to the edge of the bed, evading Oliver’s arms as he tries to pull her back into the warmth of their nest of sheets.  “I’m serious. If we’re late again, he’s going to kill me!”  As she stands, Oliver flops face down into the sheets in defeat.  Felicity rolls her eyes, not that he can see her now.

She scurries around the room, gathering clothes, and Oliver props an arm on the bed and watches her, “You’re not going to be late.”  

“Easy for you to say,” Felicity retorts, “Mayor doesn’t have to be in the office until he wants Queen!”  Felicity disappears into the bathroom.

Felicity’s heels click down the stairs just as Oliver pours a cup of coffee into a metal tumbler screwing on the lid tightly.  She throws down her coat and purse, sticking a piece of toast in her mouth as she struggles with the clasp on her bracelet.  Oliver walks over taking over the clasp closing duties, then pulls the toast from her mouth and bites into it himself.  Felicity smiles at him, still harried and distracted, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”  He pulls her towards him, kissing her on the lips, her fresh clean scent enveloping him.

“C’MON!  We’re going to be late…AGAIN!”  William stands between them impatiently looking at them in disgust.  He’s already dressed with his backpack slung around his shoulders.  

Felicity’s eyes widen as if to say, I told you he was going to be mad.

Oliver bites his lip struggling to keep a straight face, he turns to William asking, “Did you eat breakfast?”

“Yes, I ate breakfast.” William huffs picking up Felicity’s things and practically throwing them at her as he attempts to steer her to the door. She lets him.  “We’re going to be late.”  He repeats insistent and annoyed.

Oliver hands Felicity her coffee and pulls William into a quick hug, which he accepts for a moment before squirming out of the embrace to pull open the front door.

“Hey.”  Oliver says stopping them. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Felicity and William look back at him blankly and Oliver leans forward giving Felicity a kiss.  

William sighs loudly, “Are you kidding me!”

But, Oliver ignores him, smiling at Felicity, “You have a good day.” And then he leans down and presses his mouth against the small swell of Felicity’s stomach.  Oliver places a kiss on her belly, whispering, “and you too little one.”

Felicity smiles, shaking her head at Oliver.  “The baby is like the size of a banana.”  

Oliver straightens still smiling and leans in again to kiss her mouth, when William’s frustrated voice breaks through, “We have to go!”  Oliver and Felicity exchange an amused look and abort the kiss.

“Okay, Okay!” Felicity capitulates, “Let’s go.”  William charges through the door and before Felicity walks through, she murmurs, “Demanding and bossy, I wonder where he gets that from.”

Oliver squints at her, “Funny.”  But when she turns to look over her shoulder at him and grins, he smiles good-naturedly back.


Percival: Alright, that’s it! Dishonour! Dishonour on your whole family! Make a note of it. Dishonour on you! Dishonour on your cow!
Frank the Thunderbird: *Looks into the camera like he’s on the office*

Mulan (1998)

for @wanderingnork

Now for something completely different 

(Requests now closed)