Mok, I don't even know what to do. Not only does my parents go through my personal conversations they go through my history and online accounts. Whenever they're mad at me they're always telling me "IVE SEEN WHAT YOU LOOK AT!" god, I know I told you about this before but deleting history and clearing conversations doesn't even work. They even know my passwords. I know I used to do weird shit before online but all I do reblog fashion and read webtoon now. Christ, they may even be reading this now
Nonnie, listen to me, alright? It’ll all be OK, take a few deep breathes. Look at Calming Cat for a Sec if gifs don’t make you feel bad:
Now, let me start by saying i believe you when you come to me telling me you feel unsafe and invaded. I want you to know I understand having your parents telling you these things and telling you that they can get into your private life and your private thoughts and safe spaces. I have had this happen to me before and I have had to have a argument with my parents over this.
That being said, I also need to tell you there’s only a few possibilities I can think of for you and they all make Mok’s heart sad. The first, is continuing to clear your history— make sure it’s fully gone and obliterated. Use a browser like Incognito or something that doesn’t keep cookies or your history. Make certain it’s all gone before shutting down/leaving the computer. Password protect everything and change all your passwords to something the wouldn’t know. All lowercase or all uppercase with numbers with one capital if required for things usually keeps our decryption things if your parents have a low-key one to get into things or are guessing. They may not have recently gotten into things and are using old info and thus this may keep them out. The Second is wiping out all things they could trace to you and starting again with it, and keeping that airtight from them. This infographic can help. I don’t know much about this course of action, and it’s not something i’d recommend if I didn’t think you sounded like you needed a last-ditch option in the event the rest of my response wasn’t what you needed. Lastly, is the option of recognizing they may be pulling what my parents did— lying through their gritted teeth because they’re being emotionally and verbally abusive asshats. Change your passwords. Put a password on your phone if you can, or don’t look at things where they can get to it without knowing a password. Sit on that info and don’t write it down anywhere. See if, when they say “I’ve seen what you look at!” they get specific. Do they say what exactly? Are they talking about current things? If they caught you with one thing, they’re probably milking it for all it’s worth because it gets a reaction. They’re probably bullying you. If they reference a convo with someone that you’ve had, listen really close to if they’re making general statements or not. Because If they actually had something to nail you on, they probably would have done it. Otherwise, they’re probably just bullying you now and making an effort to control you so you never get into something they can’t force you out of if they don’t like it.
I could be wrong on this, granted, and they could very well not be bluffing. It could be a combination where they’re getting into nonprotected things. I don’t know and can’t know because I don’t know your situation.
But know this, Nonni: You have nothing to be ashamed of, you have nothing to panic about, and you have nothing to worry over about what you do in your private safe spaces. If you wanna blog about fashion and read webtoon, good. If you wanna blog about, oh, alien spider monkeys inventing rainbow guns, go for it. Wanna reblog porn for 80 posts then switch to puppies and kittens playing? Your space, your thing. If it doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s not bad. You’re fine. Weird is in the eye of the beholder and the eye can behold whatever you wanna see, Nonni.
Now, Mok has made an attempt here and I know I probably have some followers with a bit more insight if they wanna chime in— but I need you to remember that I’m here for you, always, ok Nonni? I promise.
antiporn: cause punishing marginalized women in the name of well to do "self empowered" women is clearly social justice. i'm a sex worker and you wouldnt believe how hard im laughing that tumblr suggested this blog to me... clearly they haven't been taking care of how their systems work. think on the behavior of men before removing an industry whose women are subject to some of the most intense whorephobia at times because of how men view, sell and advertise the experience of sex. love ya
Now I’m laughing because you’re using make-believe words.
Seriously, you can’t just attach the word “phobia” to other words and have it make sense. A phobia is “a type of anxiety disorder, usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognized as irrational.”
I certainly do not feel this way about women in the porn or sex industry. I’m not even a bit nervous around them.