and now i just oh my god i can't i'm crying

Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
  • Jason: I will never pity you, Dickface. I am the perpetual family disappointment, I pity no one.
  • Dick: Oh come on, you think you're the family disappointment?
  • Jason: Well it sure as hell ain't you, golden boy!
  • Dick: We'll see about that. Bruce!
  • Bruce: Hm?
  • Dick: Who is the family disappointment?
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce: St--
  • Stephanie: NO!
  • Stephanie: Shut up shut up shut uuuupppp!
  • Stephanie: I cannot be the family disappointment because I am not a part of this family!
  • Stephanie: I don't even go here!
  • Tim: You're here all the time--
  • Stephanie: As your personal Kimmy Gibbler! Not a sister!
  • Stephanie: [to Bruce] I can't believe you. I CANNOT believe you! Say it, Bruce, swear to God, SAY IT and I will slap you again!
  • Jason: Again?
  • Stephanie: I AM NOT THE FAMILY DISAPPOINTMENT!
  • Stephanie: You know who is, Bruce? You. YOU ARE THE FAMILY DISAPPOINTMENT.
  • Stephanie: You haven't done half the crap you should and YEAH I'm pulling out receipts because I INVENTED fake dying and when I got back no one was nice to me SO YOU DON'T GET ANY FREEBIES!
  • Stephanie: I'm leaving! Tell Cass I'm not talking to any of you and I broke up with Tim--
  • Tim: How is this my fault?!
  • Stephanie: --and that I'll be at Gina's on 5th for smoothies because SOME of us keep our promises and don't just go 'hey I'm back from the dead get out of my cave even though I'm a loser who got lost in time like a loser' which, like, PATHETIC
  • Stephanie: [wads up leftover receipt from her purse and throws it at Bruce] BYE FAMILY DISAPPOINTMENT
  • Stephanie: [slams door]
  • Jason:
  • Dick:
  • Tim:
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce: I was going to say 'Stop'...
101 fluffy prompts
  • FALLING IN LOVE
  • 001: "You're really soft."
  • 002: "You smell nice."
  • 003: "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."
  • 004: "Is it possible to love too much?"
  • 005: "I don't wanna get up-- you're comfy."
  • 006: "I will always be there protect you."
  • 007: "I'm cold. Come closer."
  • 008: "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
  • 009: "The stars look especially lovely tonight."
  • 010: "I've never seen such gorgeous eyes before."
  • 011: "May I have this dance?"
  • 012: "I can't stop thinking about you."
  • 013: "You'll never feel alone with me by your side."
  • 014: "Let's get to know each other over dinner."
  • 015: "All I want is you."
  • 016: "I could never leave you, I love you too much!"
  • 017: "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face."
  • 018: "I want to hear you sing."
  • 019: "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you."
  • 020: "You look incredible in that."
  • 021: "He/She's quite stunning, isn't he/she?"
  • 022: "Sometimes I just can't control myself when around you."
  • 023: "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
  • 024: "I think I'm in love."
  • 025: "I’d like it if you stayed.
  • 026: "People are jerks, but not you."
  • 027: "I'll share the blankets with you."
  • 028: "I have never felt this way about anyone."
  • 029: "I want this to never end..."
  • 030: "Can I kiss you?"
  • LIVING TOGETHER
  • 031: "I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks."
  • 032: "Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death."
  • 033: "Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?"
  • 034: "You can put your cold feet on me."
  • 035: "Your stray red item turned my whites pink."
  • 036: "A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder so I’ll protect you."
  • 037: "There was a power outage and now we have to have dinner by candlelight."
  • 038: "Rock Paper Scissors to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud."
  • 039: "I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on."
  • 040: "Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer."
  • 041: "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar."
  • 042: "My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on"
  • 043: "We’re repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches."
  • 044: "IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH."
  • 045: "We’re watching Toy Story 3 and we can’t stop crying."
  • WEDDINGS/PROPOSALS
  • 046: "I caught the bouquet"
  • 047: "My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years failing to get over them."
  • 048: "We accidentally got married in Vegas oops"
  • 049: "I’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way so I don’t ruin our friend’s wedding."
  • 050: "I planned out this super romantic proposal and you just ruined it by beating me to whole proposing thing."
  • 051: "I wasn’t planning on asking you, but it appeared to me that life is short. Will you marry me? "
  • 052: "If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life."
  • 053: "Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife? "
  • 054: "May I have this dance, wife/husband? "
  • 055: "You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m so happy I can finally call you my wife/husband."
  • 056: "I jokingly told you that the only way I’d marry you was if you did this weird outlandish thing, and you actually did it, and I’m kind of charmed."
  • 057: "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"
  • MARRIED LIFE
  • 058: "We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "
  • 059: "Your ‘miracle hangover cure’ couldn’t possibly beat mine."
  • 060: "I know you haven’t had the best experience with dogs in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it?"
  • 061: "I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary, but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong."
  • 062: "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you're banishing me to the couch for the night?”
  • 063: "I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band… WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO?"
  • 064: "I know we had a big fight but we still need to decorate the house for the holidays."
  • 065: "Oh! Hey! Could you come and taste this to see if it's okay?"
  • 066: "We’re arguing over book versus movie."
  • 067: "I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’"
  • 068: "We’ve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years."
  • 069: "You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety… sorry?"
  • 070: "We both have nowhere else to be so we get to spend our rare day off at home."
  • PREGNANCY
  • 071: "I bet it’s a girl/boy."
  • 072: "Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant? "
  • 073: "I thought I was pregnant but the test must have been wrong. I’m not. "
  • 074: "You’re lucky I’m pregnant!"
  • 075: "Can you help me up, your child is pretty heavy."
  • 076: "I could really use a foot rub right now."
  • 077: "Your dad is really excited to meet you soon, it’s driving me crazy."
  • 078: "Do you wanna know the sex of the baby?"
  • 079: "The baby’s kicks are keeping me up at night."
  • 080: "Did you feel that?"
  • 081: "I can’t fit into my favorite dress anymore. "
  • 082: "OH MY GOD I’M GOING INTO LABOR. WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!
  • 083: "I can’t be pregnant… or….OH MY GOD! "
  • 084: "I think you might be pregnant.”
  • 085: "It’s 2 am but you’re craving cake and we’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear."
  • PARENTING
  • 086: "I knew it was a mistake to get the twins matching clothes."
  • 087: "Sh…they’re asleep."
  • 088: "I think someone had a little accident with the finger paint."
  • 089: "Mondays are your diaper days."
  • 090: "Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me."
  • 091: "Ooh…someone’s got a tummy ache."
  • 092: "Are you sure you don’t want me to drop them off myself? I don’t think you could handle seeing them off alone."
  • 093: "I told you we should have just gotten that German Shepherd puppy."
  • 094: "What do you think for their punishment? Grounding? No video games? No going out for a week?"
  • 095: "Mm…your kid before five in the morning."
  • 096: "Come on now, I think you’re being too harsh. He/she’s just a kid. Remember all of the stupid things we used to do when we were their age?"
  • 097: "So, how should we break the news that they’re going to have a new baby brother or sister?"
  • 098: "I think we should have another."
  • 099: "Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?"
  • 100: "Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed."
  • 101: "…They just grow up so fast."

zarohk  asked:

So, I'm not totally sure the timelines match up, but do you think that Rachel's sisters (especially Sarah who is younger and more naive) could have watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer and decided that Rachel is the Slayer? Goes out at night, all hours, secret boyfriend who only visits her at night, can't tell their single mom, etc.

[First of all: the timelines do actually match up quite well.  In #20 there’s a brief mention of David’s dad (of all people) watching Buffy on TV, and although Animorphs started and ended first most of its run overlaps with Buffy.  Second, I LOVE this idea so much.  Rachel and Buffy are two of the people who were massively influential in teaching me and my friends that it was possible to be girly and tough at the same time.  Third… Voila.]

It starts as a way to distract her sisters, on the nights when their mom can’t make it home and their dad is too busy to call—Rachel will put on whichever Buffy episode she’s got saved in the DVR and all three of them will watch it together.  However, all three of them fall in love with the show over time, until they’re catching each episode live: Sarah laughs at all the puns and hums along with the theme song while Jordan waxes poetical about how dreamy Spike and Angel are.  

Rachel just loves Buffy herself, because there aren’t enough girls on TV that can look that fabulous and kick butt at the same time.  It becomes a weekly ritual, one that Rachel sometimes has to miss if Cassie or Jake calls with urgent news, but she’ll put aside anything short of the alien invasion to catch it with her sisters.

*****************

Jordan meets Rachel at the door, which is a bad sign because their mom and Sarah are both asleep and Rachel herself went to bed six hours ago.  The mission was long, nasty, and exhausting, the way they always are, and Rachel’s too keyed-up from the adrenaline rush to think of a proper excuse for why she’s sneaking in.  

She and Jordan stare at each other in silence for a few seconds, Rachel leaning on the door frame, Jordan holding a comic book in both hands as she sits on the end table in the foyer.  Jordan becomes the first one to speak.  “Sarah and I were talking,” she says.  “And I think we figured it out.”  

Rachel feels her stomach churn.  She’s not as careful with her sisters as her mom.  She never has been.  “Figured what out?”

“It’s okay.”  Jordan clutches her comic book a little more closely, expression solemn.  “We won’t tell Mom.”

Rachel crosses her arms.  “Won’t tell her what, exactly?”

Jordan thrusts the comic book at Rachel.  The cover shows a girl—Buffy Summers, judging by the title—holding a wooden stake in one hand and a sword in the other, her blond hair whirling around her as she thrusts the sword at a spike-covered greyish creature in the corner of the frame.  

Rachel takes a step back from the comic, not sure whether to laugh or to cry.  

“It explains everything.  Where you sneak out to almost every night.  Why you’ve got blood under your fingernails half the time when you get home.  Why you’ve got a secret boyfriend who only comes out at night—”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Rachel says reflexively.

Jordan nods, eyes wide.  “Uh-huh.  So you definitely weren’t seen by half the school at last week’s dance with a mysterious guy who has blond hair and is never seen around town.  You don’t have a boyfriend, even though I’ve heard people talking in your room in the middle of the night.  And you always leave your window open, even—especially—when it rains.  Almost like you’re waiting for a secret vampire boy—”

Rachel snorts a laugh.  “Tobias isn’t a vampire.”

Which has exactly the opposite effect than the one she intended.  “Oh my god,” Jordan whispers.  “Tobias as in that guy who disappeared last year? Everyone thought he died—” She gasps.  “Unless he did die.  And now he’s back!”

Much as Rachel wants to laugh and keep laughing until she falls over, she understands that this conversation actually has serious implications.  With effort she sobers herself.  “Look,” she says at last.  “There are things… Things I can’t tell you.  You wouldn’t be safe if I did.”  

She looks Jordan in the eye.  Jordan is taking this conversation seriously—probably more seriously than Rachel herself, for that matter.  “I understand,” Jordan says.  

“As soon as…”  As soon as the war’s over.  “As soon as it’s safe.  I’ll tell you everything.  Right now, there are things I can’t talk to you, or to Mom, about.  But someday I will.  I promise.”  Rachel can’t be more honest than that.  

“Okay.”  Jordan bites her lip.  “I just wanted you to know your secret’s safe with me.  And if you ever need help, like, hiding a body…”

Rachel smiles, overwhelmed with fondness.  “Thanks.”  She yawns.  “Now, if it’s all right with you, Dawn…”

Jordan makes a face.  

“I’m wiped, so I’m going to bed.”  She walks past Jordan and up the stairs to her room.  

“Rachel!”

She turns around.  Jordan is standing at the bottom of the stairs, hugging her comic book against her chest with both hands.  

“On the show,” she says haltingly.  “They say a lot about how slaying’s a dangerous job.  About how most slayers don’t live to be twenty.”  There’s real fear in her eyes, as she looks up at her sister.  

Rachel grins, tossing her hair over her shoulder.  “Really, Jordan, you should learn not to believe everything you see on TV.  After all, it’s just a show.  No vampire’s gonna take me down.”  

****************************

“You know, my sister thinks you’re William the Bloody.”

«Who’s that, a spokesman for Kotex?»

***************************

She doesn’t get much input on the actual headstone; she’s too young for that.  She does, however, manage to put in a special request for the plaque on the statue they erect outside of Washington D.C., a proud grizzly bear rearing up to defend the Capitol.  

Rachel Daniella Berenson, the plaque reads.  She saved the world.  A lot.  

this-moon-water  asked:

Oh my god thank you haha! Well, my little shipper heart desires an uninterrupted trailer bughead smut, basically the finale without the knock at the door. I'm literally rewatching the scene over and over again and crying because I can't wait for season two to come out <3

I will try!
****

His teeth bit hungrily into the soft skin of her neck, leaving butterfly shaped bruises on her tan skin. Betty’s eyes rolled back, her fingers fisting in his hair as she tugged him further down her body. They were doing this, they were actually doing this. His long, slender fingers toyed with the clip on her skirt as he stared up at her with lust filled eyes and trembling lips, he wanted approval, he needed her to tell him this was okay.

“Yes juggie, god yes” she whispered into the quiet air, her hips bucking up as he growled lowly, pulling the blue fabric down her legs and staring for a moment at the white lacy panties wrapped deliciously around her body.

“You’re beautiful, how are you so beautiful?” He whispered, looking to her with awestruck eyes, fully taking in the nearly naked women perched on his counter. She reached for him, pulling him closer to her and placing both of her tiny hands over his heart

“So are you.”

His stomach twisted, the new, unfamiliar emotion coming around full circle as he once again realized just how much he loved her. Although he’d already said it he wanted her to know, needed her to know

“I love you” he groaned as her hands dipped dangerously low on his hips.

Dropping her lips to his ear, she whispered

“Show me.”

That was all it took, in seconds flat he had her wrapped around his body again, delighting in the way her perfect, warm presence felt against his, skin to skin, he cupped her ass, his fingers squeezing experimentally and grinning when he heard her gasp.

He walked backwards into the makeshift bedroom, her lips still on his, biting and tugging as he dropped her onto the mattress.

Betty sat up on her elbows, looking exactly like a painting, he had never wished he was an artist more in his life.

“It’s not really fair, I feel severely underdressed.” She grinned, her eyes dropping to his jeans.

Jughead smirked , ripping his belt off and stumbling with the button.

Betty crawled forward, her tiny fingers making quick work of the denim as she tugged it off his hips.

“Much better.” She gave him a true to form Jughead Jones smirk and he nearly exploded right at that moment.

He leaped on her, causing her to giggle and squeal as he hovered over her, his boxers grinding against the thin material she called panties. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she had her head thrown back, her golden curls splayed over the pillow and her knuckles fishing the dark blue bed sheets. He knew how much she hated the word, but perfect was all he could think to describe her right now.

“Juggie.” She whispered, her bright green eyes shooting open to look at his, he stared down at her, the love he felt was shining through and it nearly took her breath away, he was breathing heavily as he spoke in quick words

“I love you, I don’t ever want to be without you, I know that makes me selfish, but I want you all too myself. Everyday of my life.”

Betty nodded, he was reading her mind

“I love you, please juggie.. make love to me”
Her whispered words carried through the tiny trailer and he immediately turned to the draw beside him pulling out a condom and smiling when he saw the confused look on Betty’s face.

“One thing my dad cared about? Safe sex”

Betty giggled, pulling her boyfriend down for a kiss as he clumsily rolled the condom on.

“Are you ready?” He asked, concern in his eyes

Betty nodded, bringing her hips up to meet his.
“Always.”

With that he joined them together, the instant pain had Betty gasping quietly, Jughead peppering kisses down her neck as he whispered how beautiful she was, how much he loved her.

The pain subsided and Betty felt a warm, full heat fill her entire core

“Move juggie.” She moaned, his eyes snapping to hers to make sure.

“Move.” She ordered, bringing her hips to rise and fall as he inhaled sharply, his eyes widening at the sensation.

It was fast for both of them, Betty never even took off her bra, Jugheads hands found their way underneath the pink lace. Betty came first, a quick twist of her boyfriends hips and she was seeing stars, Jughead following closely behind screaming Betty’s name so loud he was certain the entire Southside had heard it.

They lay together afterwards, content to hold each other in the quiet, Jughead breathing in the vanilla of his loves hair as she drew circles on his bare chest.

“Thankyou” she whispered dreamily “that was perfect. Everything I could have ever wanted”

Jughead pulled away slowly
“No Juliet, thank you. You don’t know what you mean to me, what this means to me.” His voice was thick with emotion and Betty reached up to cup his face, as he was bending down to drop a kiss to her lips a knock on the door knocked them both out of the moment.

“Who could that be?”

Cry plays Corpse Party Starters
  • "I'm sorry."
  • "...How the fuck do you say that?"
  • "D'aaww!"
  • "You're not dead. *Quietly* Not yet."
  • "Oh, my."
  • "I can move! Holy shit! I can move!"
  • "He's a word."
  • "You also kind of look like an asshole, no offense."
  • "Well, that's nice, there's a pee bucket in the middle of the fucking hallway."
  • "Do I go for the booty? Or not the booty?"
  • "Oh, my GOD."
  • "I realized that I don't know how to read today."
  • "*Laughing uncontrollably*"
  • "My butt is buttered up and ready for action."
  • "Ooooh, dear."
  • "Run!"
  • "No no no! No! Oh, God!"
  • "You're gonna die. I don't want you to die."
  • "Is that a noose?"
  • "No! No! Nooo!"
  • "Oh, yeah, that happened."
  • "Oh. Oh, wow."
  • "Am I getting buried?"
  • "Oh, fuck me softly!"
  • "Oh! I'm a bad boy! I smoke cigarettes!"
  • "And now people are going to die."
  • "Oh...OH!"
  • "Oh jeeze. Oh wow."
  • "Someone's gonna piss in this bucket."
  • "You can authorize teasing now?"
  • "Oooh... Fuck."
  • "SO FUCKING SAD!"
  • "Dayum!"
  • "Fuck my curiosity."
  • "Well, can't say I'm surprised."
  • "This is...this is indecent."
  • "Wha--eeugh! Eeeeeuuugh!"
  • "Kick in the fucking door."
  • "And we fucked up again."
  • "Education tiiiiiiiime!"
  • "You bastard!"
  • "That's not cool, friend."
  • "I knew it!"
  • "And now we finally continue."
  • "What? What? What?"
  • "That's a familiar name. Why do I know that name?"
  • "This is a maze of a place."
  • "No! No! Hey! Dead..."
  • "Bucket!"
  • "Oh my God, holy fuck!"
  • "Oh, God, you might be dead soon."
  • "Why are you letting this happen?"
  • "Why did you let it happen again?"
  • "Oh--*gasp* Oh, God!"
  • "That was dramatic as fuck and I love it."
  • "What the fuck just happened?"
  • "That thing's adorable!"
  • "Oh, no, what did I do?"
  • "What did I do?!"
  • "Just keep moving forward."
  • "I don't have to remember how to do this."
  • "FUCK I DO."
  • "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
  • "Wow..."
  • "Take it easy, guys."
  • Yang: *Yang slammed open the door to her and Ruby's room with tears in her eyes.* Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! *yang shouted as she punched the wall repeatedly before slumping down against it onto the floor holding her hands to her face.*
  • Ruby: *Meanwhile Ruby rushed in from the bathroom in a panic.* What Happen!? I heard banging! *She then spotted her sister sitting shaking on against the wall and quickly rushed over.* Yang? Are you alright? What's wrong?
  • Yang: *Yang sniffled wiping the tears from her red eyes.* It's nothing Ruby. Just... Just go away.
  • Ruby: Yang. It's clearly not nothing. Please talk to me. I just want to help. *Ruby said moving closer to her sister placing her hand on her shoulder.*
  • Yang: *Yang was silent for a moment, trying to stop the tears from falling as her eyes slowly turn purple.* Fine... I was going to the cafe were Blake went too... I was going to go tell her how I feel about her because I just needed to get this off my chest, ya'know. *Yang sniffled wiping her eyes.* But when I got there I saw her with Sun.
  • Ruby: Okay so Blake was hanging out with Sun. That isn't out of- *Ruby started before shouted with more tears in her eyes.*
  • Yang: They were on a date Ruby!
  • Ruby: *At this Ruby looked dumbfounded with surprise.* W-what? No. they couldn't be. They are just good friend, Yang. I'm sure it was a misunderstanding.
  • Yang: *Ruby then watched as the anger in Yang's express was overwhelmed with sorrow before looking down at the ground.* That's what I was hope for, Ruby... Right up until They kissed.
  • Ruby: oh... Oh Yang. *Ruby whisper as she wrapped her arms around her sister who hugged her back burying her face into her shoulder.* I am so sorry.
  • Yang: What am I going to do Ruby? *sniffle* I love her so much. But I can never be with her. *sniffle. I can't even tell her now. *Yang cried, holding onto Ruby for dear life.*
  • Ruby: Shhhhh. It's alright. Let it all out. *Ruby whispered as she stroke Yangs head hugging her until she calmed down.* It'll be okay Yang. Why don't you go take a shower and get ready for bed. Maybe it will help you feel better.
  • Yang: *sniffle.* Yeah... Thank you Ruby.
  • Ruby: Anytime. We're sisters after all. We take care of each other. You'd do the same for me... And probably beat up the other person.
  • Yang: Hehe, Yeah I would.
  • ~Later~
  • Ruby: *Ruby walked down stair while Yang is in the shower when she hears the front door open and close.* Oh I guess Blake is back. *She thought to herself when she hear Weiss and Blake begin to talk.*
  • Weiss: Welcome back Blake.
  • Blake: Hey Weiss. Where's Yang and Ruby?
  • Weiss: Upstairs. Yang's in the shower and Ruby I think went to bed.
  • Blake: Ah I see. I'll put these left overs in the fridge then.
  • Weiss: So how did it go?
  • Blake: How did what go?
  • Weiss: Your date with Sun.
  • Blake: *Ruby then heard Blake groan as she heard her coat being thrown.* For the last time Weiss. It was not a date. We are just friends and I made that pretty clear to him as well.
  • Weiss: What do you mean?
  • Blake: Sigh, Sun kissed me.
  • Weiss: He kissed you!?
  • Blake: Yes. And then I slapped him.
  • Weiss: WHAT!? Why? I thought you liked him?
  • Blake: As. A. Friend. Honestly, If I knew he was asking me out on a date and not to hang out I would have told him no and that I only see him as a friend. Which He accepted and apologized for kissing me while I apologized for slapping him.
  • Weiss: But I don't understand! You talked you were in love with someone blonde that we know. Oh god don't tell me it's Jaune!
  • Blake: What?! No! God No!
  • Weiss: Then who? We don't know any other blonde guys and the only other person we both know who is blonde is Yang.
  • Blake: ...
  • Weiss: ... Wait.
  • Blake: Weiss. Don't.
  • Weiss: Oh. My god.
  • Blake: Weiss. I'm serious. Shut up.
  • Ruby: *It was then just as Weiss opened her mouth to speak Ruby stepped out from around the corner and nearly shouted.* YOU LOVE YANG!
  • Blake: R-RUBY!? *Blake jumped in surprise, nearly dropping the box of sweet as Weiss watched from the chair she sat in.* H-hey. Uh, I thought you were sleep. I, uh, got some sweetd from the cafe if you want any. *Blake then watched as Ruby zipped over infront of her slapping the box out of her hand to the floor, shocking both her and Weiss before Ruby took hold of her shoulder.*
  • Ruby: Yeah. Forget that. Is it true!? You Actually love my sister?!
  • Blake: I...
  • Weiss: Ruby what is wrong with-
  • Ruby: Not now Weiss! I'll example later! Blake! Do you or do you not love Yang!?
  • Blake: Well I mean... *Blake muttered shifting nervously at Ruby's gaze before finally cracking.* Okay Yes. I love Yang but you can't tell her, please.
  • Ruby: Oh thank you god!
  • Blake/Weiss: Eh?
  • Ruby: Blake You are going to go up stair to Yang right now and tell Yang how yu feel. Like right now!
  • Blake/Weiss: What? Why? *the two said together before looking at each other weirdly then back to Ruby.*
  • Ruby: Because Yang has been crying for the past hour thinks you and Sun are dating!
  • Blake: Why would Yang think that and why was she crying about it?
  • Ruby: Because she loves you and she saw Sun kissing you!
  • Blake: WHAT!? OH MY GOD! YANG!*Blake Shouted and quickly ran past Ruby and upstairs.*
  • Weiss: You think she remembers me saying Yang is in the shower? *Both Weiss and Ruby then looked as they heard a door slam open.*
  • Blake: YANG! IT WASN'T A DATE! I DON'T LOVE SUUUUWHOAMYGOD!
  • Yang: AAAAAAAAAAAH! BLAKE! WHAT THE HELL!?
  • Blake: I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE NAKED!
  • Yang: I JUST GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER! STOP PEAKING AND GET OUT OR AT LEAST GIVE MY A TOWEL!
  • Ruby: Yeah I'm going to go with nope. *Ruby then took a bite of a cookie from the box on the floor.*
The Three List | Barry & Iris | Script Fic
  • Barry: Hey, Iris?
  • Iris: Yeah, hun?
  • Barry: Do you remember when you were with Eddie & you told me about your 3's list?
  • Iris: My 3's list?
  • Barry: Yeah, you know, three guys you could cheat on Eddie with.
  • Iris: *snorts* oh, right. My 3 list.
  • Barry: You don't still HAVE that, do you?
  • Iris: *blinks* What?
  • Barry: Your 3 list. Do you still have it?
  • Iris: Uh...probably somewhere. Why?
  • Barry: *clears throat* I was just wondering if Oliver was still on it.
  • Iris: *smirks & crawls over to him* Babe, you know that's not a serious thing, right?
  • Barry: what do you mean?
  • Iris: *laughs* even if Oliver had given my fangirl self the time of day when I was with Eddie, I wouldn't have slept with him.
  • Barry: *blinks* you wouldn't have?
  • Iris: *laughs* Who do you think I am, Bear? You think 'he's on my three list!' would've sufficed if Eddie had caught us in bed together?
  • Barry: *blushes fiercely* No, I guess not.
  • Iris: *cups face* Babe, you've got nothing to worry about. *kisses him* You're the only one I want.
  • Barry: *after many kisses & sweet nothings whispered* But is Oliver still--
  • Iris: *rolls eyes & gets off him* oh, for crying out loud.
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, I didn't mean-
  • Iris: You most certainly did. *starts to walk away*
  • Barry: *panics* Iris-
  • Iris: Calm down. I'll be right back. *dashes up the stairs & comes back 10 minutes later* Found it!
  • Barry: *shifts towards her, eyes wide* What did you... *spots piece of paper she's holding* Oh.
  • Iris: *hands paper over* Take a look for yourself.
  • Barry: *scans list of names & frowns* He's still on it.
  • Iris: Mhmm.
  • Barry: This doesn't make me feel any better, Iris.
  • Iris: *crosses arms* that's the original list. I only updated it once, a couple months after I'd moved in with Eddie.
  • Barry: *still frowning* where's that one?
  • Iris: *makes circling motion with her finger*
  • Barry: *checks the other side* This one looks pretty much the same. I don't see-- *jaw drops*
  • Iris: *starts to grin* See something you like, hun?
  • Barry: Am...Am I...? *squeaks*
  • Iris: *nods* Mhmm.
  • Barry: I'm in the number 2 spot!
  • Iris: That's one above Oliver, I believe.
  • Barry: *still gawking* I don't understand.
  • Iris: *comes & sits next to him on the couch* After you told me how you felt when I was with Eddie, I had a lot of feelings that I didn't know how to deal with. Then when Eddie got all secretive on me I started thinking about you even more, and how my best friend would NEVER keep secrets from me the way my boyfriend was doing.
  • Barry: *winces* sarcasm is warranted.
  • Iris: in the past. *waves it off*
  • Barry: *swallows hard & nods*
  • Iris: That night when I came back to my dad's & you were there reassuring me, I felt like that was a safe place to put them. My feelings for you.
  • Barry: On your 3 list?
  • Iris: *nods* On my 3 list.
  • Barry: Did Eddie ever see it?
  • Iris: *laughs* Are you kidding? If Eddie had seen the updated version, he would've figured out what was up right away, even before I did.
  • Barry: And what was up?
  • Iris: *smiles & gently kisses him* I was in love with my best friend.
  • Barry: *has warm fuzzies* Iris...
  • Iris: So, you can keep that if you like. Oliver's name is still on it - BENEATH yours though. I don't have a need for it anymore. I haven't looked at it until today in over two years.
  • Barry: Yeah?
  • Iris: *nuzzles & kisses* yeah. You're all I want, Bear. If I can't have you, there's no one else I want. Not even a one night stand with a celebrity.
  • Barry: *smiles*
  • Iris: Do YOU have a 3 list? *raises eyebrows*
  • Barry: WHAT? *squeaks*
  • Iris: You heard me.
  • Barry: Iris.
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *sighs & then laughs* I have a 1 list.
  • Iris: *eyebrow furrow* What's a 1 list?
  • Barry: *pulls out wallet & digs out tiny scrap of paper inside & hands it to her* Same thing as a 3 list. Except mine only has 1 name on it.
  • Iris: *jaw drops when she reads it* I'M the only name on your 3 list??
  • Barry: *grins & pulls her close* Yep.
  • Iris: But of all he gorgeous celebrities, even SCIENCE NERDS, you only chose--
  • Barry: You're the only one I've wanted since the day that I met you.
  • Iris: *teary-eyed* Barry...
  • Barry: Getting a chance with you? 10 times better than any hook up with ANY celebrity.
  • Iris: *sighs contently & kisses him* I love you, Barry Allen.
  • Barry: I love you, Iris West.
  • Iris: *nuzzles & pulls away after a while* So what are you going to do with my 3 list?
  • Barry: Give it back to you. *hands it over* You decide what to do with it.
  • Iris: *grins* Mmk. *pecks him in the cheek, stands up & heads to the roaring fireplace*
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, what are you doing?! *speeds over*
  • Iris: Getting rid of it. I don't need it anymore.
  • Barry: Well, maybe you should keep it. You know, as a keepsake.
  • Iris: *eyes him suspiciously* Why do you want it?
  • Barry: *I* don't want it. It's yours. I gave it back to you. So you--
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *swallows* I mean, you ranked me ABOVE Oliver, so...
  • Iris: OHMYGOD. *rolls eyes & shoves it into his hand* You keep it. It'll be YOUR keepsake. *walks back to the couch & sits down*
  • Barry: It's not really MINE, so--
  • Iris: *gives him THE LOOK* one more word, Barry, and I WILL throw it to the flames. Not even your superspeed will stop me.
  • Barry: *nods & swallows* Right. *tucks paper into pocket & comes to sit next to her* So...
  • Iris: *raises eyebrow*
  • Barry: Now what?
  • Iris: *irritation fades away & she pulls him close, kissing him* Now I get some one-on-one time with #2 on my 3 list.
  • Barry: *pulls back after a few kisses* I thought you just said--
  • Iris: I swear to God, Barry, if you don't just kiss me--
  • Barry: *speeds them up their bedroom, drops her on the bed & takes off t-shirt, then hovers over her & kisses her, lingering*
  • Iris: *moans* Don't tell my boyfriend about this. He'll be extremely jealous.
  • Barry: *restrains groan* On my life. *mutters & kisses her again*
  • ...
  • A/N: Just did (as of 4/2/17) a bit of an edit, b/c I watched the 1.08 scene & realized it's actually called a 'three' list, not a 'threes' list. So I changed all those & added a short line to something Iris said early on.
  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Alright then, picture this if you will:
  • 10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51.
  • Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this.
  • Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping...
  • Holy fucking shit!
  • Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa,
  • did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
  • So light in his way,
  • Like an apparition,
  • He had me crying out,
  • "Fuck me,
  • It's gotta be,
  • Deadhead Chemistry,
  • The blotter got right on top of me,
  • Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
  • And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
  • He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
  • Me. The Chosen One?
  • They chose me!!!
  • And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.
  • You better.
  • You better.
  • You better.
  • You better listen.
  • When he looked right through me
  • With somniferous almond eyes.
  • Don't even know what that means
  • Must remember to write it down.
  • This is so real.
  • Like the time he floated away.
  • See my heart is pounding,
  • 'Cause this shit never happens to me.
  • Can't breathe, right now!
  • It was so real.
  • Like I woke up in Wonderland.
  • All sort of terrifying.
  • And I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story.
  • And can anyone tell me why
  • you all sound like Peanut's parents
  • Will I ever be coming down?
  • This is so real.
  • Finally it's my lucky day.
  • See my heart is racing,
  • 'Cause this shit never happens to me.
  • Can't breathe, right now!
  • You believe me, don't you?
  • Please believe what I just said, see they're telling true.
  • And this wasn't all in my head.
  • See they took me by the hand and invited me right in,
  • Then they showed me something.
  • I don't even know where to begin.
  • STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
  • I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
  • CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
  • GOD DAMN. SHIT THE BED!
  • (high... I I I I I... high... I I I I I)
  • (high)
  • Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
  • Such a heavy burden now to be the one.
  • Born to bear and read to all
  • The details of our ending.
  • To write it down for all the world to see.
  • But I forgot my pen,
  • Shit the bed again,
  • Typical.
  • STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
  • I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
  • SUNKIST AND SUDAFED, GYROSCOPES AND INFRARED.
  • WON'T HELP, BRAIN DEAD.
  • CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
  • GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!
  • I...!!!
  • CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME.
  • CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE A HERO!!!
  • Can't remember what they said.
  • OH NO, HELP NOW.
  • Can't remember what they said.
  • DON'T KNOW.
  • WON'T KNOW.
  • GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!
  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: galavant is the best thing that has happened to me and I will legit cry if I don't get a third season I mean I honestly didn't expect a second season and yet here we are I'm surprised too that being said you can't give me the world and then take it away nope nope nope this cannot be it's this perfect little gem of a show and I need more I need a flashback of gal and isabella's wedding reception and oh my god MADALENA IS ON SOME MALEFICENT SHIT GODDESS YASSS but no gareth baby no your heart was broken :( go find madalena and save her from herself and omg galavant is your name gary honestly gary wow no I need this stupid silly show to save my soul and king richard is the CUTEST THING EVER??? HE DIDN'T GET MAD AT GARETH FOR ANYTHING HE JUST MISSED HIM PRECIOUS BABY and roberta and him are together and she didn't go to spinster island with a cat yes thank you but is she the queen now I need to know more about her who are you roberta and tad cooper TAD FUCKING COOPER IS A DRAGON WE HAVE A DRAGON like okay it literally was a bearded dragon but it breathes fucking fire now I'm so happy and I will not be if the last lines of the show are "I have a dragon" no no no you have a dragon but nOW WHAT TELL ME MORE ugh is it my fault they aired it during grease live and people didn't see it why did you want to watch grease live grease recorded was terrible because grease was a terrible movie no do not cancel this lovely show that is PURE JOY of originality because it was pitted up against another musical because galavant is better I promise don't do this to me ABC gala-can't okay please give it one more season please I know they hinted that it could continue but I really need it to continue you don't understand I need that jester singing and recapping the show hella voice jesus I need to know whether sid is gay or not and his bromance with gareth I need more of that and CHEF AND GWYNNE WHAT HAPPENED TO CHEF AND GWYNNE AND THEIR FUCKED UP CUTE AS HELL ROMANCE I NEED TO KNOW I need more tongue in cheek lyrics oh my god the songs if they get renewed again it need that sass I need more game of thrones references crazy ex girlfriend can't be the only primetime musical don't give up on galavant plz help send help I will not be okay if this is over alan menken what have you done you couldn't own me with disney alone you just made me love you even more didn't you I just I need this show please take my money give me more galavant god bless galavant galavant galAVANT GALLLLLAAAAAVANNNNTTT
I Just Can't Get You Out Of My Head (And I'm Not Sure I Want To- Just Try Not To Make A Mess Up There, Okay?)

Oh look, what’s that- is it ol’ Keith with another procrastination one-shot? Why yes, I do believe so!

This has actually been in the works for a while, I’ve been adding bits and pieces every other day when I need a break from stuff and it’s finally come together. I’m not sure it’s everything it could be, but it’s got angst, fluff and vaguely-telepathic mind/soul bonds, so who the hell cares? Should be cute-ish.

Contains semi-detailed descriptions of pararibulitis attacks, so tread lightly if that stuff bothers you. Otherwise, hope you enjoy! <3

(I’ll be popping this on Ao3 in a minute too if you prefer reading there)


“Where on earth could they have gone?” said Dirk, raking his eyes across the wall for the fiftieth time to no avail. How he’d managed to lose such an extraordinary number of Dalmatians was anyone’s guess.

“You really need a better way of organising this stuff,” said Todd, stood beside Dirk with his arms crossed and his gaze on the (actually very coherent, thank you very much) web of strings. “I don’t know how you find anything in this mess.”

“Do you need me to explain the case again?”

“Please, God, no.”

“Well then, stop complaining and help me find these Dalmatians! I’m sure they’re terrified!”

Keep reading

When aqours kinkshame each other
  • You: Im just going to say this here, y'all are nasty
  • Kanan: i don't even have any kinks!
  • You: kinkshame the kinkless
  • You: I'm kinshaming you because you can't be kinkshamed
  • Riko: I can't even
  • Chika: What if You's kink is kinkshaming
  • Mari: My kink is being kinkshamed
  • //You has left the chat
  • Chika: Oh thank god
  • //You has joined the chat
  • You: Tf did you say about me binch
  • Mari: Hey, is it just me or is Dia is awfully silent
  • Kanan: Now that you've mentioned it, where is she
  • Ruby: SIS I SEE YOU ON YOUR PHONE
  • Chika: What if Dia is the kinkiest of us all
  • Dia: I , Dia Kurosawa, do not engage in such activities
  • Mari: That's not what you said last night
  • You: SHUT DOWN
  • Kanan: Really Dia, how did you think that was going to go down
  • Riko: Oh thank god, a relatable person here
  • Chika: What about me
  • You: It's decided, I'm kinkshaming all of you
  • Maru: NYTK DO;RTHEVE AIK KNKS
  • Yoshiko: Translation
  • Ruby: But I don't have any kinks
  • Chika: How does she do that
  • Yoshiko: That is a lie, I have seen some of those books under your bed when I come over
  • Mari: ‎( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • You: I can't believe Yoshiko is not a virgin
  • Chika: GOD DAMMIT I HAVE TO PAY 600 YEN TO KANAN NOW
  • Kanan: Haha pay up
  • Yoshiko: I DID NOT DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT , JFC
  • Yoshiko: I was only there for homework
  • Yoshiko: Also how dare you take bets on me
  • Mari: "Homework"
  • Kanan: Is that what you young ones now call "sexual intercourse"
  • Kanan: Since its at home, and could be considered work
  • Yoshiko: Shut your fuck
  • Kanan: Respect your elders!
  • You: Yeah yoshiko wtf
  • Riko: Yeah yoshiko wtf
  • Chika: Yeah yoshiko wtf
  • Ruby: Yeah yoshiko wtf
  • Maru: eAh hSiko wtf
  • Yoshiko: IT'S YOHANE
  • You: The suprising thing here is that Yoshiko had the balls to visit Maru
  • Yoshiko: l I S T E N H E R E
  • Chika: I'm listening
  • Yoshiko: Why is it that I'm always roasted in the group chat, why not riko
  • Riko: HEY
  • You: Because it's so easy to roast you?
  • Chika: Because you don't have any good comebacks?
  • Mari: What they said
  • Yoshiko: You are mean to me, you insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do
  • Yoshiko: I'm going to go cry now
  • //yoshiko has left the chat
  • Maru: > : O
  • Maru: fukc yuo gu sy
  • Dia: : O
  • Kanan: Young lady I did not raise you to be like that!
  • maru: shit, gotta blast
  • //maru has left the chat
  • //maru entered th chat
  • //maru has left the chat
  • //yoshiko has joined the chat
  • Yoshiko: FUCK DID MARU LEAVE
  • Yoshiko: … wait are Dia and Kanan Maru's parents
  • Yoshiko: Does that mean I have to ask them to ask Maru out
  • Dia: If you so much as touch a hair on my daughter's head, say good bye to performing in love live
  • Chika: HEY SINCE WHEN WERE YOU IN CHARGE OF AQOURS
  • Dia: Hmmm, well I've gathered every one to join, named the group, and am competent in more ways than you are
  • Chika: BINCH WHAT
  • Chika: I'll have you know as honoka kousake's #1 fan, she personally told me I was the best aqours member
  • Dia: YOU MET HONOKA
  • Dia: I mean, hmph , it doesn't matter what she said to you, she isn't eli
  • You: Fake
  • Ruby: Fake
  • Dia: Shut up
  • Dia: Anyway, if you really want to prove yourself as the leader of aqours, meet me at the beach at 6 pm
  • You: CHIKA NO
  • Riko: CHIKA NO
  • Mari: CHIKA YES
  • You: YOU'RE GOING TO DIE
  • You: I MEAN LOOK AT WHAT SHE DID TO ME WHEN I SAID ELI WASN'T THAT GREAT
  • [You has sent a photo]
  • You: DO YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT?
  • Chika: Hmm, Do I assert my dominance or look like a pair of clothes that shiitake went through
  • You: Fucking rude, I did not look that bad
  • Riko: Yes you did
  • Mari: Yes you did
  • Yoshiko: Yes you did
  • Kanan: Yes you did
  • Dia: Well, what's your answer
  • //chika has left the chat
  • Dia: coward
  • //chika has joined the chat
  • Chika: I asked my mom
  • Chika: She said no
  • Dia: Hmph fine, I'll let you remain leader for now
  • Dia: Since you have Honoka's blessing, I will not object
  • Mari: Lame , this is why you're a bottom
  • You: d e s t r o y e d
  • Dia: Okay, but at least I get more out of Kanan than with you
  • Chika: Jesus
  • Yoshiko: I smell a break up
  • Mari: KANAN AND DIA COME OVER LET'S SETTLE THIS
  • Kanan: But I'm at the store..
  • Mari: I got the newest pair of crocs
  • Kanan: BE RIGHT THERE
  • Chika: Okay I know I've had some weird ass kinks, but crocs?
  • Kanan: Don't judge me
  • You: Nah i'm going to
  • Riko: holy fuck
  • Dia: Do I have to go too?
  • Mari: Yes
  • Dia: fuck , fine
  • Riko: So if Dia is a bottom.. then who's the ultimate top in the third years
  • Chika: interesting question
  • You: Protect Yoshiko , she's too innocent for this group chat
  • Yoshiko: Fuck you
  • You: You wish
  • //Maru has joined the chat
  • Maru: *knife emoji*
  • You: holy fuck
  • Mari: Are you two finally here , I'm ready
  • Dia: Im here, but the doors are locked
  • Kanan: Give me 5 minutes
  • Riko: You guys have dms, USE THEM
  • You: get your kinky shit out if the main chat
  • Mari: Fine
  • //mari has left the chat
  • Kanan: see you later kiddos
  • //kanan has left the chat
  • You : Kiddos?
  • Yoshiko: I can't believe the nerve of her , calling me a kid, I am 15 and -
  • Chika: Still a kid
  • Dia: Anyway good bye, and Ruby remember to lock the doors, I'm not going to be back tonight
  • //Dia has left the chat
  • Chika: Well I have got work to do , see you all
  • //chika has left the chat
*whispers*

…………….I might have just finished the next part of the arrangement. I still need to edit and do final touches and chat with my wonderful twin @deanssweetheart23 to make sure everything’s good and that I didn’t make any dumb mistakes but it might be out in the next couple days. No promises. Okay bye now………………..

of-gods-and-thieves  asked:

We know about Lance, but how do the other kids react when Keith gets hurt? What about if Keith gets in a car accident and the kids come home to an empty house and can't get ahold of either of their parents? (I'm a sucker for angst and I absolutely adore your Voltron Family!)

If you adore The Voltron Family then don’t give angst! T^T HAHAHAHAH WHY YOU WANNA HURT KEITH SO MUCH? He’s been hurt a lot in this au :(

The kids knew they were going to take the school bus “Voltron” home today because it was Friday. As soon as the driver announced “The Shirogane Kids. This is your stop.” they all piled out of the bus after their “Thanks Mr. Driver!” and ran towards their house.

Lance: *turns the main doorknob* Huh, it’s locked. *looks at his siblings*
Hunk: Maybe we should just knock? *knocks* Daddy Keith? Daddy Shiro? We’re home! *knocks even more* *no one’s answering* Weird.
Pidge: Hunk! Didn’t Daddy Shiro give you a key?
Hunk: Oh right! *pulls out his necklace to reveal a key*

They enter the house only to be greeted with silence. 

Pidge: Daddy Keith? We’re here now.
Lance: He’s not answering. Maybe he’s pooping? *runs upstairs to check with Pidge and Hunk* 
Hunk: *frowns* He’s not pooping and so is Daddy Shiro.
Pidge: Daddy Shiro? *looks under the bed* 

The kids searched the whole house and they’re all worried.

Lance: I hate how this house is so big! They could be hiding anywhere! *stomps his foot* *crosses his arms*
Hunk: You can go out now Daddy Keith, Daddy Shiro. This isn’t funny anymore. *trembling* I don’t like this. They could’ve called the school if they were running late. *turns to Pidge* Right?
Pidge: *nods* Yes, Hunk. 
Hunk: We should call Daddy Shiro.
Pidge: He’s on speed dial. *points at the telephone on the table* Just press 1.
Lance: I’ll do it! *picks up the phone and dials* *phone rings* It just keeps ringing nonstop. He’s not picking up.
Hunk: *places hand of Lance’s shoulder* Just try again, Lance.
Lance: *nods and does it again* Still nothing.
Pidge: Let’s try Daddy Keith. Gimme the phone. *Presses 2* *phone rings*
Hunk: *grips his shirt* So? Is he picking up?
Pidge: *frowns* The number you have dialled is currently unavailable.
Hunk: Pidge! Try again! *panics*

So the kids keep trying again and again back and forth between contacting their daddies but no such luck. They all sat down on the floor all worried because they’re all alone in their house and it was starting to get dark.

Lance: *quietly* I’m scared. *puts down the phone*
Pidge: *hugs her knees* Me, too. It’s been an hour and they’re not home yet.
–PHONE SUDDENLY RINGS–
Lance, Pidge and Hunk: *SCREAMS IN FEAR* AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! 
–PHONE STOPS RINGING–
Pidge: *places hand on chest* Oh my goodness! I just had a heart attack.
–PHONE RINGS AGAIN–
Pidge: *jolts* Pick it up, Hunk!!
Hunk: *picks it up* H-Hello?
Shiro: Oh thank god! It got through.
Hunk: *shouts* DADDY SHIRO!!! *cries*
Lance and Pidge: DADDY SHIRO DADDY SHIRO!!! *crowds the phone*
Shiro: I’ve been trying to contact you for an hour now but the phone’s busy.
Lance: We’ve been trying to contact YOU!
Shiro: Ah, I see. I’m glad you’re all safe at home. Did you lock the door?
Hunk: *nods* Yeah, we did.
Shiro: Okay, good boy. I can’t go home now but there’s cake in the fridge. Eat that and make sure you drink your milk. Hunk, I’m making you Milk Ambassador. Make sure you all drink them before going to bed—
Pidge: Daddy Shiro, where’s Daddy Keith?
Shiro: Y-Your Daddy Keith is… not looking good right now.
Lance: What do you mean? Did he get ugly? You don’t love him anymore?
Shiro: I wish it was just like that. But no, your Daddy got into a car accident.
Hunk: *panics* IS DADDY KEITH ALRIGHT? IS HE ALIVE? 
Lance: *panics and cries* Daddy Shiro please tell me Daddy Keith isn’t dying. I don’t want him to die like last time. Please. *grips the phone*
Shiro: Lance, buddy. Calm down.
Lance: No no no. We can’t loose Daddy Keith. Save him please.
Hunk: Daddy Shiro can we see him? Please let us see him. *sobs*
Shiro: Oh god, this is hard. I’m sending Auntie Allura to pick you up.

They arrived at the hospital and as soon as they see their Daddy Shiro, they immediately ran towards him crying. Keith was undergoing an operation and it was going to take a while, when he was finally transferred, they all stayed in Keith’s room and as much as the kids want to cuddle him, they couldn’t. Keith had a bandage around his head.

Keith: *opens his eyes*
All three kids: DADDY KEITH! *runs towards the bed*
Keith: *blinks* Who are you?
Hunk: *backs away* *tears up* You don’t remember us? I’m Hunk and this is Pidge and that’s Lance. We’re your children. *heart broken*
Keith: *shakes his head* I didn’t know I have children.
Pidge: *sniff* Nooooo, don’t say that. Don’t say that, Daddy Keith.
Shiro: Okay, that’s enough joking around, Keith. *kisses him sweetly*
Keith: *giggles* Come here you all. *arms open wide for hugs*
Lance: I hate you so much! Don’t do that again! I got scared! *hugs Keith so tight* *cries harder than the rest* I can’t lose you twice.
Keith: *sees Hunk breaking down* Baby, come here.
Hunk: *slowly cuddles Keith* I thought you didn’t remember me. *sobs*

MUSICAL SENTENCE STARTERS.
  • ❝ Uh, do whatever you want, I'm super dead! ❞
  • ❝ You have a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important. ❞
  • ❝ Ring ring, hello? Oh, hold on, it's for you - it's second place. ❞
  • ❝ You know that I ain't bragging. ❞
  • ❝ I'm reading this from Wikipedia, so it has to be true. ❞
  • ❝ Let's hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin' the pot. ❞
  • ❝ I bet I've got til lunch at least before everyone sees I'm a spaz! ❞
  • ❝ I'm not very hungry - just gimme a double Polar Burger with everything and a cherry soda with chocolate ice cream. ❞
  • ❝ Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo! ❞
  • ❝ Hey turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits. ❞
  • ❝ Is that unfair? -- Oh wait, I don't care. ❞
  • ❝ The truth is that you're such a dork, you kinda make it cool. ❞
  • ❝ We got more balls than the team we cheer for! ❞
  • ❝ Miss Goody Two Shoes makes me wanna barf. ❞
  • ❝ Even mocking cheerleaders cannot hide the emptiness in my soul. ❞
  • ❝ They're dogs! No! Lower than that, they're fleas on dogs! ❞
  • ❝ I'm a trust fund baby, you can trust me. ❞
  • ❝ The dinosaurs choked on the dust, they died because God said they must. ❞
  • ❝ Happy kitties, sleepy puppies, tiny duckies, sparkly ponies... ❞
  • ❝ My teen angst bullshit has a body count. ❞
  • ❝ Give my love to the leprechauns. ❞
  • ❝ I thought you were a spoiled, rich, uptight little white bitch now I think you're just white. ❞
  • ❝ I am tired of living alone with my cat! ❞
  • ❝ You drink a lot of Red Bull, don't you? ❞
  • ❝ If I get blood on the carpet my mother will kill me. ❞
  • ❝ Some say that I'm a pompous creep - somehow I don't lose that much sleep. ❞
  • ❝ Such a blunder. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I even bring the thunder. ❞
  • ❝ Shakin' at the high school hop. ❞
  • ❝ I've got lots of experience with not fitting in. Do you need some pointers? ❞
  • ❝ Ugh. You've got a left hand, use it. ❞
  • ❝ Showing up here took some guts, time to rip 'em out. ❞
  • ❝ Keep that pelvis far from me! ❞
  • ❝ Thanks, but I don't need voices in my head today. ❞
  • ❝ You don't wanna hear all the horny details. ❞
  • ❝ I gotta go get my asthma spray... ❞
  • ❝ Your perfume smells like your daddy's got money. ❞
  • ❝ Does your mommy know you eat all this crap? ❞
  • ❝ Jesus, you're making me sound like Air Supply. ❞
  • ❝ Language, honey child, please. ❞
  • ❝ Like a beautiful blonde pineapple. ❞
  • ❝ I don't rat my hair! ❞
  • ❝ My dog speaks more eloquently than thee. ❞
  • ❝ Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in. ❞
  • ❝ You're my last meal on death row. ❞
  • ❝ I've got a big butt, well so what? It's good as any other! ❞
  • ❝ I led a protest march against insensitive cartoons! ❞
  • ❝ Some people are SO touchy. ❞
  • ❝ Mama gave birth to the hand-jive. ❞
  • ❝ It's hot in here and kinda smells like someone wet the bed... ❞
  • ❝ Oh... I wanted to answer the puppy question? ❞
  • ❝ You're absolutely right - should have shot him in the mouth, that would've shut him up. ❞
  • ❝ I haven't slept since 1992. ❞
  • ❝ Malum in se is an action evil in itself. Assault, murder, white shoes after labor day. ❞
  • ❝ You need a cite a more specific grievance. Here's an itemized list of all these years of diagreements. ❞
  • ❝ Donate my car to crippled kids, or to those ghetto moms on crack. ❞
  • ❝ I'm, like, gonna cry - I got tears comin' outta my nose! ❞
  • ❝ Keep your filthy paws off of my silky drawers. ❞
  • ❝ Color me stoked. ❞
  • ❝ Yo, who the f is this? ❞
  • ❝ You've got the best friggin shoes! ❞
  • ❝ Keep it positive as you slap her to the floor! ❞
  • ❝ Come on! Let's go krunkin' in the parking lot! ❞
  • ❝ I've come of age to be a raging castrating bitch! ❞
  • ❝ I'll be Socrates throwing verbal rocks at these mediocrities. ❞
  • ❝ Really stick it to the phallocentric war machine! ❞
  • ❝ Must we all descend into madness? ❞
  • ❝ It's a work of genius. I couldn't undo it if I tried.... and I tried. ❞
  • ❝ Dear God... it's scented. ❞
  • ❝ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. ❞
  • ❝ So go on, here's my head, just hit it with a rock. ❞
  • ❝ I want a devil in skin tight leather. ❞
  • ❝ You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick? ❞
  • ❝ You know, for a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure. ❞
  • ❝ You ain't never caught a rabbit. ❞
  • ❝ Honestly, it's kind of draining... ❞
  • ❝ I just did what you wished you could but you don't have the balls. ❞
  • ❝ I'm dazzling! Magnificent! I am the one percent! ❞
  • ❝ Now what I'm going to say may seem indelicate... ❞
  • ❝ I'm gonna French kiss with tongue like I dreamed I'd do - and not just with my pillow! ❞
  • ❝ It's like hearing a ticking sound coming from unmarked packages! ❞
  • ❝ Someone's had their morning coffee... ❞
  • ❝ We're what killed the dinosaurs! ❞
  • ❝ I don't know what you heard, but whatever it is, they started it. ❞
  • ❝ Fine, okay, I'm gay! ❞
  • ❝ You can set my bones and I know CPR. ❞
  • ❝ Immigrants - we get the job done. ❞
  • ❝ Man. What rich, romantic planet are you from? ❞
  • ❝ Whaaaaaaat. ❞
  • ❝ What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending. ❞
  • ❝ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. ❞
  • ❝ Awesome... wow. ❞
  • ❝ I'm bigger than John Lennon! ❞
  • ❝ I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love. ❞
  • ❝ If you're going for mediocre, you've done great! ❞
  • ❝ Alright, we can't break out of here, but we sure can break a sweat! ❞
  • ❝ Gotta be going to that malt shop in the sky. ❞
  • ❝ It's got groove! It's got meaning! ❞
  • ❝ When I fight I make the other side panicky! ❞
  • ❝ That is a metro hetero jerk! ❞
  • ❝ Love is like forever this is no time to economize! ❞
  • ❝ Their thinkin' is stinkin' and a little outdated. ❞
  • ❝ I'm probably too cool for you, so friend request denied. ❞
  • ❝ You're on Jiffy Pop detail. ❞
  • ❝ I don't have to always be right - when I'm with you, I just am. ❞
  • ❝ I'm raisin' hell and I'm a felon in a four foot frame. ❞
  • ❝ Guys who wear that get beat up on my street. ❞
  • ❝ It's like making love to you all night, NO WAIT! It feels so much better! ❞
  • ❝ No sleep for you, better chug that Mountain Dew. ❞
  • ❝ All I got was a running nose and Asiatic flu. ❞
  • ❝ You ain't no friend of mine. ❞
  • ❝ We have fought on like, seventy-five different fronts. ❞
  • ❝ I'm not freaking out, I'm really okay, I'm totally chill. ❞
  • ❝ If your Irish boy tires of you, you're allowed to shoot him in the knees. ❞
  • ❝ You ever see somebody ruin their own life? ❞
  • ❝ The more you jump around and scream, the sexier you seem. ❞
  • ❝ Peachy keen, jellybean. ❞
  • ❝ Both your hair and shoes are flat. ❞
  • ❝ Lookin' hot, Cream of Mushroom! ❞

yes but there’s also 

  • ‘I’m hella sick but not old enough to purchase cough medicine and that sounds really pitiful coming from a college student but would you please go buy me some NyQuil???’ au
  • 'We made a bet at the beginning of the laser tag game to see who was better and guess who won. It’s time to pay up.’ au
  • 'Who keeps using my wifi?’ 'Literally everyone, your password is hella easy to guess.’ au
  • Tried to unlock the wrong car in the parking garage au
  • 'I’m on the FBI’s most-wanted list for killing a fuck ton of people, but calm down I just wanna date you bc your face is v smoochable and you give me butterflies.’ au
  • See also; 'Dating a most-wanted serial killer and never getting a heads-up before they come home covered in blood so you’ve gotta be ready to draw the curtains and hide a body every time you hear a car pull into the driveway’ au
  • 'We really should not have played Monopoly’ au
  • Life-sized version of Clue in the old manor on the hill au
  • 'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you’re hot and I’m thirsty but now I’ve developed actual feelings for you bc you’re a genuinely good person’ au
  • 'Fuck me you’re cute why did we have to meet on the one day I decided to stay in my sweats??’ au
  • 'I went to the bar last night bc I just got dumped and wanted to drink away my pain but then one thing lead to another and somehow I broke into your house thinking it was mine and now I can’t find my left shoe but are those waffles I smell?’ au
  • 'I saw that you were reading Eleanor and Park have you gotten to the part where she leaves him and if so can we talk about it because not a lot of people have read this book and I need a shoulder to cry on.’ au
  • 'You passed out in Disneyland and I’ve been taking care of you for the past two hours oh my god are you okay??’ 'Yes I’m okay but who the hell are you supposed to be?’ 'I’m the face character for Peter Pan but that’s not important’ au
  • 'I don’t really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you’ve already turned him down, so I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend  until they leave you alone.’ au
  • Bonnie and Clyde au???
  • Attend same-sex privet schools that are right across the street from each other au
  • Masquerade au
  • 'I don’t like you and you don’t like me but our best friends just died in a car crash and left their one-year-old daughter in our custody so now we’ve got to act civil and end up falling for each other’ au
  • [Basically a Life As We Know It au]
  • 'Found your number inside of a library book that looks like it hasn’t been checked out in ages and decided to text you to see if it worked au
  • 'The biggest rule of immortality is to not get involved with mortals but whoops I was in a coffee shop one day and fell in love with you and now I’m freaking out bc in the grand scope of things we don’t get a lot of time together but fuck no please don’t leave me not yet no.’ au
  • 'I just moved into the apartment next door and I am 100% sure that it’s haunted bc this building used to be a hospital and anyway I heard I noise coming from inside the walls can I please just crash here for the night?’ au
  • 'I know that you’re really into school and probably don’t want to risk your spot on the college football team, but would you mind if I smoked in our dorm room??’ au
  • Followed by 'Nah, I don’t care, as long as I can shotgun some smoke from that pretty little mouth of yours.’ au wow that got sexual and I am not sorry.
  • Went to the beach for the first time au
  • Ancient Rome au
  • Rival team captains who know nothing about personal space and constantly get into fights where they end up face-to-face every single game until one day one of the coaches yells at them to either kiss or get back to the game au
  • 'Hey, so I might have just robbed a bank right now and I kind of need a getaway car, would you pleeeeeaaase help me I can pay you back in sexual favors but also cash.’ au
  • 'I know that you don’t know me, but you were on the receiving end of my girlfriend/boyfriend’s heart donation and being around you kind of makes it feel like they’re still here I’m sorry if that’s kind of weird.’ au
  • 'Shit I wasn’t watching where I was walking and ended up spilling my Rockstar all over your white sweater I’m so sorry here have my jacket.’ au
  • Caught yelling at Go, Diego, Go in the hospital waiting room and after an awkwardly long period of silence the other person joins in bc they’ve got nothing better to do with their waiting time au
  • 'The person living in the apartment across the wall to mine is a nymphomaniac and yeah okay they’re p hot but it’s v hard to write an essay on feminism when all I can hear is sexual screaming.’ au
  • It’s three am, I just wanted some clam chowder, and some how I ended up on Hollywood Bl. can you please tell me where a good restaurant is I think I’m going to cry.’ au
  • 'Fuck my ex just walked into the restaurant with their new girlfriend/boyfriend could you pretend we’re dating so they don’t think I’m hung up on them I swear I’ll pay you later.’ au
  • 'I work at the daycare that you drop your daughter off at every week and she got me sick.’ au
  • 'So I know we just met but it’s raining and my tent has a hole in it, could I sleep in your camper with you?’ au
  • 'Okay okay okay I know we’re just friends and I don’t want anything to change that but I may have told my mom that we’re dating so she would stop trying to set me up with people would you be up to going to my sister’s wedding as my plus one so my mom won’t know I lied?’ au
  • 'Hit me, we’re on college campus and you’ll have to pay for my tuition’ au
  • 'Your headphones aren’t plugged in all the way so that hardcore porn fic you’ve been listening to for the past ten minutes has been broadcasting through the bus on full volume.’ au
  • The Breakfast Club au
  • Wimbledon [the movie] au
  • West Side Story au
  • 'Constantly getting confused as the girlfriend/boyfriend of the lead singer for a heavy metal band bc I’m always going to concerts and getting backstage passes but I’ve never even met the lead singer until the day he/she got drunk and we hooked up in his/her tour bus [whoops now we’re actually dating shh]’ au
  • 'It’s two am, we’re standing outside of our apartment building bc someone pulled the fire alarm, and you look cold and unprepared, do you want to share my blanket?’ au
  • Heartache On The Big Screen au
  • Breakfast At Tiffany's au omg pls
  • 'The zombie apocalypse started two years ago I can’t believe I still have to work at this fucking book store.’ au
  • Long Way Home au
  • We like each other but our dogs don’t so I’m going to have to ask you to stop taking this walking route you attractive fucker’ au
  • 'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don’t end up being the same person. And that’s something I had to learn the hard way.’ Au
Graduation Imagine
  • It's been a long senior year and you've finally made it to graduation. You're laying in bed, excited to finally start your life. But then you realize; (TC's name) will no longer be your teacher. You get this intense feeling of dread in your stomach.
  • You: (thinking) fuck. I can't believe it's over. How am I going to get through this? It's the last time I'll see him. School isn't the only thing that's going to be over with... Tomorrow is the last day I'll ever get to see his smile, his eyes, his everything. I'll never hear his voice again.
  • You start to panic and you end up falling asleep because all the stress made you sleepy.
  • You wake up the next morning and you instantly remember TODAY is the last day. You get sick to your stomach but you pulled yourself together.
  • You: (thinking) Well today's the day... I should have prepared myself for this. I knew it was going to happen but time flew by so quick. This can't be happening.
  • You get ready for graduation and you look beautiful as fuck. You and your family drive to the school and on the way there all you can feel is your stomach turning. Wishing time would stop or you could relive the last couple of months. When you and your family arrive at the school, you don't want to get out of the car. You just use the excuse that you don't feel good to stay in the car just a little longer. But then it was time to go in. Time to face your reality.
  • You walk into the school and out of all people who could have been standing 10ft in front of you helping your soon to be former classmates, it's (TC's name). You immediately stop and look at him and his eyes lock with yours. He smiles at you but you can't even smile back because you know what is about to happen.
  • You: (to your parent/sibling) oh my god I'll be right back.
  • You run into the bathroom and lock yourself in.
  • You: (thinking) This can't be happening. How dare he smile at me when he knows it's the last day I will ever see him. Gosh, I fucking hate this. How can he be so calm about this? Why isn't he showing any emotions? Maybe all this time I was wrong. Maybe he doesn't like me at all. Maybe I don't matter to him.
  • You start having a panic attack but you hear a knock on the bathroom door. You pull yourself together and wipe the tears off your face. You open the door and pretend like your fine. It's your best friend.
  • BFF: What the hell? What's wrong? Why have you been crying? Are you okay? Who do I need to kill?
  • You: (slight laugh) Nobody. I'm just emotional that this is the last day of high school. I'm really going to miss this place. It's actually over.
  • BFF: Who cries this much over school? I've known you for years, all you wanted was for school to end. Are you sure there's nothing else going on?
  • You: (thinking) Yeah, I wanted school to be over with. But that was before I fell in love with (TC's name).
  • You: ... Nothing is going on ...
  • BFF: I can tell when you're lying to me so tell me the truth, please. I want to help you.
  • You: You'll think I'm a freak or think it's gross.
  • BFF: C'mon if I thought you were a freak I wouldn't have been your friend for this many years. It can't be that bad. You can trust me.
  • You: Fine... I'm in love with (TC's name) and today is the last day we will ever see each other.
  • BFF: WAIT YOU LIKE (TC'S NAME)??? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?
  • You: (however many years or months)... I don't just like him. I love him.
  • BFF: Does he know?
  • You: Of course not. He'd never feel the same way about me so why would I risk everything we have and make everything complicated?
  • BFF: Tell him. What's the worst that can happen now? The worst thing that could possibly happen is that he'll reject you but that's his loss. You're an amazing beautiful woman. If he can't see that then you need to find someone who will see that.
  • You: I can't just tell him... He'll think I'm weird.
  • BFF: Here, lets go. We are going to be late if we don't hurry up. We will think of something.
  • You and your BFF go get your graduation gowns from (TC's name). You and (TC's name) make awkward eye contact and you both smile at each other. You and your BFF start walking to where all the other students are.
  • BFF: He totally likes you. I can tell.
  • You: Please don't get my hopes up like that. I don't want to be let down even more.
  • BFF: I'm sorry...
  • -To save time I'm skipping to the part where you walk across the stage to get your diploma.-
  • You walk up on stage and you're more nervous than you've ever been. You walk up to (TC's name) and he gives you the brightest smile ever.
  • TC: (Your name), congratulations.
  • He hands you your diploma and you two get close together so the photographer can take your picture. The photographer takes the picture when suddenly...
  • TC: (whispering in your ear) I know you like me.
  • You: Oh my god what? (Your face turns really red)
  • TC: Congratulations again!
  • You are in shock. You walk off stage and sit back down in your chair.
  • You: (thinking) What just happened? Did I hear him right? Did he just tell me he KNOWS he likes me? What the fuck?
  • The graduation ceremony ends and you're with all your friends and family in the lobby taking pictures together. (TC's name)comes up to your group.
  • TC: Mind if I have a picture with the new graduate?
  • BFF: SURE!
  • You: (thinking)Oh my gosh, why is all this happening? Why does he want to take a picture with me?
  • You and (TC's name)smile for the picture.
  • TC: can I see the picture?
  • BFF: Yes!
  • TC: (takes your phone and sets a reminder to pop up on your phone for 10pm) Awesome picture!
  • Your TC smiles and walks away. You noticed he was typing while he was supposed to be looking at the picture but you can't find anything. So you forget about it. You and your family go home and have a home celebration. There's gifts, cake and family. You are very tired from the stressful day so you cut the party short and get ready for bed around 9pm. You take a shower and put your night clothes on and you get all comfy in bed. You're laying in bed and you feel your phone buzz. You roll over thinking it was another text from someone congratulating you for graduating. But you were wrong. Your TC put a reminder on your phone to go off at this time. You read it and your heart stops for a good minute.
  • Reminder:
  • I've been waiting a long time to kiss you. Come kiss me.(Address).
  • -(TC's initials)
  • ---------------------
  • This was my first ever long imagine so please, give me some credit lol. I tried my best.
  • Main blog - @tcwes
Better Latte than Never

Ask and you shall receive! @cindersart wanted a Reyna/Calypso fic, I think this is not what you had in mine, but don’t worry, it’s not the last fic I will write about this pairing ;) Thank you to the wonderful @vampipers for being a wonderful beta. You’re the best.

Anyway, my beautiful Irish corn, my dear Drills. I hope you like it.


“Ask her out.”

Calypso almost dropped her coffee. She looked at Percy, who was smirking at her.

What!? No! I can’t.” Calypso felt her face get hot, and the knowing smirk on Percy’s face confirmed that that she was blushing like crazy.

“Why not?” Percy said, stealing a piece of Calypso’s pie. “What can you lose?”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you, it took you four years to ask Annabeth out.” She smacked his hand when tried to grab more pie.

“That’s different, Annabeth was my best friend, and I didn’t want to lose her. You, on the other hand, have nothing to lose.”

Calypso sighed, stealing a glance at the beautiful dark haired girl, who was currently reading a book and drinking hot chocolate. Percy was right, she didn’t have anything to lose, except maybe her favorite coffee shop. Reyna (she might have heard a barista call her name) was a regular in the coffee shop, and Calypso, to Percy’s amusement, had developed a crush on her, and she had gotten it bad.

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