and now he's seeing her again and she has no idea who he is

Birth of Desire

His smile is what I look forward to every week. Something about his smile lights up the room. Everything brightens up when he smiles at you or just in general. Shawn is smiling whiling writing new lyrics for SM3 and it instantly puts a smile on my face.

“You know you look creepy smiling like a weirdo right?” Shawn speaks up awakening me from my daze. I look at Shawn weirdly as he stares back at me.

“I love your smile” I say giving him my own version of his smile or at least try to. Shawn’s laughs echoes through the studio causing me to let out hesitant chuckle. He leans forward from his seat and clutches his stomach. His hand comes up to wipe away small tears falling down his face.

“T-that’s haha not how I smile. I’m sorry baby, but it looks like your forcing the smile” Shawn laughs again and eventually falls off his chair. I send him a glare as he tries to recuperate from laughing.

“Sorry I can’t do a good impersonation of the ‘Shawn Mendes’ smile” I tell him crossing my arms over my chest. Which oddly enough lifts my boobs a bit. Shawn clears his throat a bit before walking towards me. He takes a seat next to me pulling onto his lap to straddle him. My hand instinctively go around his neck pulling me a little closer to his chest. Shawn let’s out a small sigh as his eyes are concentrated on my breasts. I flick his head a little to get his attention, but it doesn’t remove his gaze from my breasts.

“You should really wear this sundress more often. The sundress makes your breasts look so much bigger baby. And it focuses on all your beautiful curves, no wonder Geoff and Andrew ban you from coming to the studio. I bet if you came here every time I would never get writing done, since I would have you bent over the coffee table.”

“Thanks” I respond with a small voice as he tugs the bottom of the sundress upwards to lay around my hips. Shawn’s hands make there way up my thigh slowly caressing it before cupping my face in his hands. His breath fans over my face as inches his lips closer to mine. Before he can kiss me he removes his hands from my face leaving me dumbfounded.Shawn hands start to travel down my body again and stop once he reaches my thigh. His hands move upwards under the dress and he pulls on the elastic of my underwear and lets it go. A small snap is emitted from his action.

“Don’t start getting shy on me princess! We both know your not shy when it comes to our sex life” Shawn seductively whispers into my ear as his hand keep moving upwards until they reaches my breasts. “No bra such a bad girl” he says as he caresses my breasts gently squeezing ever so often. I feel myself get wetter as his calloused fingers pull at my nipple. I let out a moan as he continues to pinch my nipples.

“Shaw-“ his phone rings on the side table interrupting us. I let out a sigh of relief as I watch him answer the phone. He taps my thigh so I can get up. I straighten my dress out and turn away to regain my composure. His hands wrap themselves around my middle and pull me back into his lap. I try and question his actions and he puts a finger to his lips.

“Yes, Andrew I’ll have the date set on the Calendar” Shawn responds as he hums in between Andrews responses. His hands trail their way to the hem of my dress bunching it around my waist. Shawn’s fingers inch their way down my panties and cup aroused core into his hand igniting a whimper from deep within my throat. He pulls me back not to hard, a hand around my throat he whispers in my ear “shh… you need to be quiet while I talk on the phone can you do that princess?” I nod as he keeps my body leaning on him.

“Sorry Andrew can you repeat that?” Andrew starting talking again and Shawn hand move my underwear to one side allowing him to to separate my folds. His cold hands send a shiver down my spine as he continues to move up and down my slit. My head turns to face his neck and try to quiet my moans as best as I can. Shawn’s fingers make their way to my throbbing clit rubbing harsh circles. My hand comes up to my mouth to diminish the constant moans and whines that leaves my lips. Shawn let’s go and I’m regaining my breath before I know his index finger pushes into me.

“Ohh Sh- Shawn what was that?” Andrew asks through the phone after I cover my mouth. Shawn sends me a glare before he clears his throat.

“Its Y/N, I don’t know what she’s doing right now. So what are our plans for the next album and upcoming tour?” Shawn resumes conversation with him leaving me to cover my moans again. In no time I’m a withering mess as my orgasm takes over my body. My thigh close trapping Shawn’s fingers from removing themselves. His fingers slowly thrust in me to ride out my high. I so badly want to scream in ecstasy as all the pleasure washes over me.

“Geoff thinks it’s best if we start in North America before moving the tour to Europe. He wants to check with you first before we start calling venues and hotels for your arrival. I also think it would be a great idea to give you a bit more time with Y/N. So Shawn what do you say?” Andrew says through the phone as Shawn looks at me. I’m in a daze trying to regain my composure. Shawn slide me off his lap and stands up.

“I think that’s great! Maybe she can be with me during the North American tour, yeah? This so great and all the buzz of SM3 is amazing.” Shawn hums to Andrews response more and my eyes slowly start to close. The undoing of a belt buckle makes me immediately open my eyes again. Shawn stands before me phone between his shoulder and neck a he undoes his pants. In two minutes tops Shawn stands in all his naked glory before me. The conversation with Andrew continues as Shawn sits back on his couch and pull me on to his lap. He presses the phone to his chest to avoid Andrew hearing our conversation.

“Take everything off and sit on my lap now” I listen to him and quickly remove any article of clothing I may on. I make a move to straddle Shawn’s lap, but he turns me around so I’m facing the large view windows looking out towards the city. We are only a few floors above the city, so anyone who looks while see my naked body on full display. It makes me wetter at the thought of being caught by people walking.

“Andrew it’s hard! I can’t have three songs recorded by midnight without anyone here! Yes, Y/N’s here….. I’m not kicking her out! ANDREW!” Shawn yells into the phone followed by Andrews response trying to calm down Shawn. I can feel his erection poking my back and I reach behind and give a gentle squeeze. His hips buck up at the sudden contact and he groans into the phone. I bite my bottom lip and start to slowly move my hand up and down his thick erection. His grunts and groans encourage me to continue.

“A-And-Andrew, I-I’m g-going to call you back!” Shawn rushes the words out and throws the phone somewhere in the room. His hips continue to buck to meet my movements and I speed up my movements. His breath becomes rapid and ragged as I move my thumb over the slit of his member.

Previn layers the tip and I rub my thumb in the in the slit in which I receive a hiss fro Shawn.

“Fuck! I hate how innocent you look and yet your a deadly tease when it comes to intimacy” Shawn utters before he hisses once again. I remove my my hand from his throbbing member and start to inch my thumb with Shawn’s precum towards my lips. Shawn hand yank me back by my ponytail as he watches me lick my thumb. I lick it as if it were a lollipop and keep my eyes on Shawn’s. He rolls his eyes back realsing my hair while he rubs his hands over his face.

“You’ll be the death of me Y/N” Shawn groans as he pulls at the end sod his hairs.

I let a smile take over knowing this wasn’t the time or place, but I couldn’t let a opportunity like this slip through my fingers.

“Say swear to god”

“Seriously?” Shawn groans while opening his eyes to me.

“Say it”

“I swear to god” I pull him in into a kiss without noting that his is slowly lifting me up. As the kiss continues a sudden pain is felt as Shawn thrust into me unexpectedly. I whimper into the kiss as the sudden penetration which halts the kiss. My head lays tucked near his neck as he lifts my legs onto the couch. I lost hum as the move at send a pleasure through my body as his erection slowly moves thrusts in me. A hand comes to my throat and gives a gentle squeeze while the other travels down my body leaving a path of goosebumps. The warmth of his touch adds a much needed arousal to my aching clit. The anticipation is killing me inside as Shawn traces my hip bones before making their way to my throbbing clit.

“So precious and only for me” he grins as his fingers open up my folds to gain contact with my clit. As soon as his fingers rub my clit I’m a withering mess on his lap. My eyes roll back as I desperately try to add friction and bounce myself on his erect member. I won’t last not like this. My legs are giving out on me, I’m so close and need a release.

“Stay open for me baby” Shawn growls into my ear as he has a tight hold around my neck. My moans arms muffled as he squeezes my throat to send me closer to the edge. His lips are on my leaving a dark mark that will be hard to hide tomorrow.

“So close Shawn!” I scream out as I few the heat building up in my abdomen. His breath is cold against my heated skin. There is a new sensation and I see Shawn thrusting his hips up in a taping pace without removing his assaults on my throbbing clit. My legs keep threading to close on me and Shawns separations then again. It’s like a small battle which I losing. Small sobs escape my lips as his fingers start to flick my clit over and over again. This could be a punishment and it would matter because anything he does is with care and love.

“Shhh.. it’s okay princess. Just let go-ahhh” I interpret Shawn as my orgasm washes over my sweat covered body. My abdomen muscles clench and I clench at the force of my orgasm. Shawn’s halts his thrusts and slowly rubs my clit to ride out my high. It feels like pure bliss, but the moment soon diminishes in thin air. Shawn expertly turned me over so I did a full circle on his erect member. Our chests touch and my hands place themselves on his shoulders. His hands trace down towards my waist he slowly moves me in a riding motion in.

“So precious, and I can’t get enough of you” I hum as I watch sweat run down his forehead. His lips part and soft grunts leave his mouth. Shawn’s neck vain is prominent as he moves my hips faster on his lap. His hands hold onto my hips harder surely to leave bruises. His abs clench together signaling his close, and watching him become out of breath throws me over the edge once again.

“Fuck!” Shawn groans outs as he halts my movements bucking his hips up uncontrollably as he orgasm washes over him. My head falls onto his sweat covered shoulder and I bite down on it as Shawn’s fingers place themselves once more in my sensitive clit. I whimper and whine as he starts to rub harder and faster.

“It’s okay baby…. just one more. I know you can give me one more, can’t you?” He whispers in my ear before trailing his lips down my neck. I hesitantly nod and before I know it my third orgasm washes over my body blurring my vision. My chest heaves up and down with the overstimulation. Shawn hands wrap around me and pull into his flushed body to try and calm me down. Tears fall down my cheeks when he rubs my back in soothing circles.

“I’m so sorry baby” he says over and over again as I shake my head against his neck.

“Don’t be Shawn” I tell him knowing that I could have used the safe word, but I haven’t felt this close to him in so long. There’s a loud knock on the door startling us both as we jump and try to dress ourselves. The knob on the handle moves and loud banging comes with it. Shawn runs to the door and opens it and sees Andrew with Geoff on the other side. So glad we locked the studio door, but they will never let me come along to one of Shawn’s studio sessions again.

“Hey” I come up behind Shawn and look at Andrew and Geoff then back at Shawn. Andrew looks at me and then Shawn as do I. My eyes go wide as I spot the bite mark I left on his shoulder. I smack Shawn repeatedly which cause him to look down at me. I forgot he wore a muscle tee today to the studio.

“Umm… Shawn you have a little something right here” Geoff points to Shawn’s shoulder and he touches it and hisses in pain. I look down in embarrassment as Andrew sends Shawn a glare. Geoff tries to stifle his laugh as Andrew pulls Shawn into the hallway to talk.

“You know I’m never going to let you guys live his down right?” Geoff tells me as he looks through Shawn’s prompts for new songs. He hums in appreciation as he lands on one. I look over his shoulder to read it “birth of desire.” My cheeks redden knowing there’s more to the title. The door opens and Andrew comes in with Shawn who looks irritated and embarrassed.

“Well we’ll let you get back to work Shawn and we mean the lyrics portion” Andrew comments leaving the rooms before Shawn has the chance to throw a pillow at him for is comment. Shawn sits down on the couch and rubs his face.

“So how are my chances for coming to another studio session?” I ask him while placing my head on his shoulder. He looks down at me and shakes his head before laughing.

“Andrew said ‘this is your last chance Shawn or we are only going to have songs related to sex’ but he’s not wrong” Shawn finishes causing me to send him a playful glare. I give him a kiss before pointing at his journal to continue writing lyrics for SM3. He groans before taking the journal and flipping through the pages to continue writing. He sends me his famous smile which causes me to my heart to flutter and butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

The Turkey Story

 So it’s 2001, and my family drives from fucking California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for thanksgiving, becuase my grandparents are moving into a nursing home and it’s their last holiday in that house.  So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing.

Since it’s their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams dish because not all expressions of love are good, even if they are sincere.  In the spirit of going all-out, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey.  

Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy scout by tossing foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been addicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights.  He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for a spaicier mesquite-style bird, so Bobby makes a Cornish Game Hen seasoned that way, for them.

Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea.  He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen becuase why not?  He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there’s  dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out.  It’s Genius.

Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff slouching after her.

So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids all being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America.  Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, I was near tears from this nonsense and ready to fight a man roughly five times my size.  

Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we’re rotten children for ‘attacking’ him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of feces with an ugly mustache.

My sister eventually bolts upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip-Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson’s slowly taking over him.

“Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or I’ll beat your skull in.  Also, dinner’s ready, everyone go wash up.”

We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional “Name one thing you’re thankful for” as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit.  Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it’s really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there’s an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool.

Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks-

“OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT!”

We all stare at Sue.  We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth. Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since she’d been trying to justify Cliff’s behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going.

“IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE’VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE’RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I’M SO SORRY JESUS-” She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it’s a Victorian fainting couch only it’s a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler.

Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths “she’s not coming back”.   

Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, falls on his ass himself.  They are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle and it’s not working.

“I CAN’T EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM-”  Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he went to seminary school long enough to learn that before getting drafted but that’s another story) and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants.  She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill.

“I wouldn’t want you to go hungry.  Can I make you some Eggs?”

“That would be lovely.” Said Sue, joke flying over her head like a boeing 747.  I recall watching my grandmother nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind.

Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby “For marrying well, for a change”

“Pregnant Turkey” has been an Ohioan thanksgiving staple since then.  I’ll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek “OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT” when you carve it open, or it’s not authentic and won’t taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me.


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Tom and Lin-Manuel: An Appreciation/Jealous Rant

Every writer has a golden period – a chunk of time when her brain is ripest, when the veins he is tapping are the richest, when the ideas, big and small, spill out over the sides of the bucket instead of having to be patiently collected like drops of rain off a leaf. This is true for songwriters, playwrights, novelists, screenwriters, anyone who writes anything in any genre. Go look at John Hughes’s IMDb page and marvel at his golden period, which I would bookend as 1983-1990. It’s outrageous. He wrote Vacation, Mr. Mom, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Some Kind of Wonderful, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Uncle Buck, and Home Alone in eight years. Eight years?! That’s absurd.

But then look at his next 20 years. You won’t find one movie that is better than the worst one he wrote in those seven years. The vein ran dry. It always does. That’s just the deal.

Tom Petty’s golden period never ended. Or, at least, the silver periods on either side of his golden period were seemingly infinite. No matter where you think he peaked – Full Moon Fever, or Wildflowers, or Damn the Torpedoes – the decades on either side were wonderful. He was great from the moment he released his first album in 1977 to the day he died last month. For forty years he wrote, and wrote, and wrote, and the songs he wrote were good or great or amazing.

Tom Petty wrote “Breakdown” and “American Girl” in 1977. He wrote “You Don’t Know How it Feels” seventeen years later, in 1994. He wrote “You Got Lucky” in 1982, “King’s Highway” in 1992, “The Last DJ” in 2002. He wrote “I Won’t Back Down,” “Runnin’ Down a Dream,” Free Fallin’,” “Love is a Long Road,” “A Face in the Crowd,” Yer So Bad,” and “The Apartment Song,” and “Depending on You,” all in 1989, and they were all on the same album, and that’s absurd.

He wrote “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” in 1981 and “Big Weekend” in 2006. He wrote every song on Wildflowers – and they are all great – in or around 1994. He wrote fifty other great songs I haven’t named yet, like “Don’t Come Around Here No More” and “Jammin Me.” He wrote great songs you’ve heard a million times, and great songs you’ve maybe never heard, like “Billy the Kid” (1999) and “Walls” (1996) which was buried on the soundtrack to She’s the One.  He took a break from the Heartbreakers and casually released “End of the Line” and “Handle With Care” and “She’s My Baby” with the Traveling Wilburys in 1989-90. He wrote “Refugee” in 1980 and “I Should Have Known It” in 2010. Is there any rock and roll songwriter alive who wrote two songs that good, 30 years apart? (Paul McCartney wrote “Hey Jude” in 1968, and only 12 years later he wrote “Wonderful Christmas Time,” which is so bad it nearly retroactively undid “Hey Jude.”)

He wrote about rock and roll things, like ’62 Cadillacs, getting out of this town, and dancing with Mary Jane. He wrote about love and loss and heartbreak. He wrote legitimately funny jokes, and moribund memories, and personal narratives, and imaginative flights of fancy. One of his characters calls his father his “old man” and it somehow isn’t cheesy. He was from Florida and California and wrote about both of them, and every time I’m on Ventura Boulevard I think of vampires, because the images he wrote are indelible. 

Petty didn’t just write songs directed at women, like most rock stars. He wrote about women, and he wrote for women, and he wrote with women. He treated the women in his songs as lovingly and respectfully as he treated the men. He cared about them as much, he spent as much time thinking about them, and he liked them as much, and all of that is rare.

He wrote simply, but not boringly. He made his characters three-dimensional, somehow, in a matter of seconds. There’s a famous (probably apocryphal) story about Hemingway bragging he could write an entire novel in six words, then writing: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” I prefer the 18-word novel Petty wrote as the first verse to “Down South” –

Headed back down south
Gonna see my daddy’s mistress
Gonna buy back her forgiveness
Pay off every witness

When I was working on Parks and Recreation, whenever we needed a song to score an important moment in Leslie Knope’s life, we chose a Tom Petty song. It started with “American Girl,” when her biggest career project came to fruition. It was “Wildflowers” when she said goodbye to her best friend. It was “End of the Line” at the moment the show ended. For the seven seasons of our show, Tom Petty was the writer we trusted to explain how our main character was feeling, because he wrote so much, so well, for so long.

*******

It seems like a joke, Hamilton – a joke in a TV show where one of the characters is a struggling New York actor, and is always dragging his friends to his terrible plays. Like Joey in Friends. There’s an episode of Friends where Joey is in a terrible musical called like Freud!, about Sigmund Freud, and you get to see some of it, and it’s predictably terrible. Freud! the musical is arguably a better idea than Hamilton the musical.

I’m far from the first person to say this – I’m probably somewhere around the millionth person to write about Hamilton, and the maybe 500,000th to make this particular point, but it needs to be said – a hip-hop Broadway musical about the founding fathers is an astoundingly terrible idea. Lin-Manuel Miranda should never have written it. As soon as he started to write it, he should’ve said to himself, “What the fuck am I doing?!” and stopped. And after he got halfway through, he should’ve junked it, gotten really drunk, and moved on with his life, and made his wife and friends swear to never mention the weird six months where he was trying to write a hip-hop musical about Alexander Hamilton. I literally guarantee you that when Lin-Manuel Miranda first told his friends what he was writing, every one of them reacted with at best a frozen smile, and at worst a horrified recoiling. Some of them might have been outwardly encouraging – “sounds awesome bud! Go get ‘em!” But then later, alone, they would call each other and say What the fuck is he doing?

There is a moment, in Hamilton, when what you are watching overwhelms you. (It’s not the same moment for everyone, but most everyone has one, I suspect.) It’s the moment when the enormity, the complexity, the meaning of it, the entirety of it, overpowers you, and you realize that what you are experiencing is new – new both in your specific life, and new, like, on Earth.  The first time I saw it, that moment was a line in the middle of “Yorktown.” Hamilton sang the line And so the American experiment begins / With my friends all scattered to the winds, and I burst into tears in a way I hadn’t since I was 10 and a baseball went through a guy’s legs in the World Series. Something about how casually he says that – And so the American experiment begins – just settled over me, like a collapsing tent, and this thing I was watching wasn’t in front of me, it was everywhere around me, and it was exhilarating and transformative.

(If I could put this part in a footnote, I would, but I don’t know how to, so: I should mention that I am very far from a musical theater aficionado. I have seen maybe eight musicals in my life. Not only did I not expect to cry, hard, during Hamilton, I did not expect to enjoy it. I saw it like a week after it opened on Broadway, kind of on a whim, knew nothing about it, and the last thing I said to my wife, as the lights went down, was: “We’ll leave at intermission.”)

The second time I saw it, that moment came much earlier (I knew what I was getting into, this time, so I was more ready to be subsumed). It came barely three minutes in, when the entire cast of the show, in a piece of choreography that can best be referred to as “badass,” all walk down to the very front of the stage and stand, shoulder to shoulder, and sing very loudly about how Alexander Hamilton never learned to take his time. The cast has, to this point, trickled on stage, slowly, one by one, telling you Hamilton’s origin story, and then suddenly there they all are, all of them – maybe 20? 50? It seems like 1000? – as close to the audience as they can get, and they are every size and ethnicity and gender, and their voices are loud, and I thought to myself, oh my God, this is a cast of people descended from every nation on Earth, all singing about the foundations of the American experience, and yes I “knew” that, intellectually, but holy shit, now that I see them all, I know it, like in my stomach, I understand it, and what a thing that is.

The third time I saw Hamilton, that moment was during “It’s Quiet Uptown,” when this enormous, sprawling, improbable, otherworldly, multi-ethnic, historical, art tornado presses pause on all of its historical-cultural-ethno-sociological-artistic investigations, and spends four and a half spare minutes with a couple who are grieving an unimaginable tragedy.  Specifically, it was the lines

Forgiveness
Can you imagine?
Forgiveness
Can you imagine?

What a thing to do, for your characters – to give them four and a half minutes in the middle of an enormous, sprawling, historical swirl, to just be sad. What a piece of writing that is.

(Again, should be a footnote, but: as long as I’m talking about writers here, I should point out that if the late Harris Wittels were alive, he would, at this moment, text me and hit me with a “humblebrag” for writing about how I have seen Hamilton three times, and he would be right. Miss you Harris!)

In the hundreds of hours of my life I have spent thinking about Hamilton since I first saw it – far more hours than any other single piece of art I have ever experienced – I have revisited that same thought over and over: he never should’ve written it. It was an absurd thing to do. It took him a year to write the title song, then another year to write the second song, and how did he not give up when two years had gone by and he’d written two songs?  He must’ve known in his heart it needed to be a 50-song, 2 ½-hour enterprise, and he had two songs after two years, and he kept going. How did he keep going? I’ve been trying to write this blog post about two writers I admire for different reasons since the week Tom Petty died, and I’ve almost given up five times.

At this point, the entire musical is that “moment” for me. It’s the whole thing, now – the thing that overwhelms me is the whole thing. The conception of it, the writing of it, the rewriting of it. The music and the motifs and the themes and the threads and the dramatic shape and the characters and their inner lives, and the eagle-eye writer’s view it took to keep all of that in his head, all of it, the whole time. The writing of it. The utterly impossible writing of it. 

“That Was All You”: A Black Paladin Lance Meta

Alternatively Titled: Local Girl Digs Heels In So Hard She’s Laying on the Ground. “This Is My Home Now,” She Says.

Listen. Listen. No, I don’t know when to quit. Yes, I have a midterm tomorrow and am procrastinating. Shut up.

Now, since this is going to be long as hell (because I really don’t know when to quit), here’s a quick summary of my argument: 1. we’re building up to a leadership arc with Lance, 2. the pilot of the Black Lion depends not just on Black but on the team, and 3. Keith and Red still have a connection.

Blah blah blah, general disclaimer, I am probably could be wrong, lesgo:

Season 4 episode 6 sees the introduction of a new galra super weapon – a planet rigged to explode and take the whole solar system out with it. Right after destroying the galra stronghold on said planet, the team is suddenly surrounded by giant spire things and have no idea what they are.

And it’s Lance that makes the right call. He’s the one that not only says “hey let’s leave,” but also “and here’s how we’re going to do it.” He looks at this situation, sees a need to distance them from it immediately, and knows exactly who to delegate the task to. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

For the "I wish you would write a fic where..." thing: In a canon setting, except Stiles is older, went to highschool with Derek and was friend with him. He can be a deputy at the beginning, trying to deal with a newly bitten Scott, whom he considers a little brother, and the return of Derek, his friend from school and old (current) crush. Do you think it's a good idea?

So, turns out I love this idea more than anything, and I have so many ideas about this and how it would proceed, but I’m not rewriting the first season, okay. I’m not.


Stiles was very cold, very wet, and very tired, because it was midnight, raining, and he was out in the preserve looking for a body.

Half a body.

They had the bottom half, they just had to find the part they could actually ID.

East side clear, the radio on his shoulder crackled, and his dad’s voice responded for the pair of deputies to head north to meet up with the K9 team. Everything cool was happening on the northside, and yet Stiles was stuck on the southside of the preserve, with Jordan Parrish.

Jordan Parrish of unending optimism and energy.

How he got paired up with the newbie, he’d never know.

Okay, he would, because technically he was also a newbie, except he really wasn’t. Sure, he might’ve been somewhat new to being employed as a deputy of the Sheriff’s Station of Beacon County, but he’d literally grown up in that station; not one person there could say he was really a rookie.

“God, this sucks,” Stiles muttered, sweeping his flashlight back and forth across the wet and muddy ground in front of him. So far he’d found all of two dead rabbits and some dog shit someone didn’t clean up, so, real thrilling night here. Great search.

“Could be worse,” Parrish responded lightly with a shrug, and Stiles rolled his eyes at the darkness in front of him.

“Don’t say Afghanistan.”

The audible smirk in the following pause told him that was exactly what Parrish was about to say.

“I’d rather be a little damp than have sand in my boots, any day.”

“Yeah, well you didn’t step in that puddle.” Stiles’ foot was still freezing and squelched even more than the muddy forest floor beneath it.

It sucked that a woman died, yes, but Stiles was also having a rotten time.

Time passed, there were more updates of nothing found over the radio, a couple dog barks in the distance, and still they found no body.

Given that it was almost one in the morning and everyone Stiles normally talked to was either at home asleep or out in the woods with him on the radio, it took a second for his ringing cellphone to register beyond a mild annoyance that Parrish would have his phone on that loud during his shift.

“You gonna get that?” Parrish asked, and Stiles frowned at him for a second before realizing that was indeed his ringtone, and if someone was calling this late, it was probably something serious.

He only glanced at the caller ID for the briefest second as he answered.

“Yo, Scotty, what’s up?” He was about to add that he couldn’t talk right then when Scott’s panicked babbling steamrolled through his mind.

“Stiles! Oh god, you have to come get me! You’re in the preserve right? Because I’m pretty sure I’m lost, and something bit me, and—”

“Wait, hang on, you’re where?” He was tired, he was struggling to keep up with everything, and Scott was breathing like he would be needing his inhaler in about five seconds. “Why the hell are you in the woods, you know we’re looking for a body right?” he hissed into the phone, glancing briefly at Parrish, who was watching with raised eyebrows.

“Problem, Stiles?”

He shook his head, trying to act casual as Scott frantically rambled out,

“I’m by the west entrance to the preserve, I think? Stiles, I don’t know what the hell it was, but it came out of nowhere, and I’m bleeding, and I can’t find Erica—”

“Erica’s with you?” Christ, it just got better and better. “Okay, stay where you are, I’ll come find you and I’ll tell everyone to keep an eye out for Erica.”

That didn’t calm Scott down at all.

“You can’t do that, her parents would kill her if cops brought her home! You know how crazy they are!”

Stiles rubbed at his forehead. He was cold and wet and tired and now he was getting a headache. “Yes, because she has epilepsy, Scott! She could die out here.” Parrish was coming over, looking concerned. “Just stay where you are, we’re coming.”

He hung up with a frustrated huff.

“Scott’s out here?” Parrish asked, already heading south, so clearly that phone call hadn’t been as discreet as Stiles would’ve liked. At least he seemed to be going with it—despite appearances, not a total stickler for the rules. Good to know.

“And Erica. They went looking for the body.” They must’ve heard the call on the old police scanner in Stiles’ jeep. He needed to stop letting Scott borrow his car. And Scott needed to learn to stand up to Erica’s insane whims, because there was no way this wasn’t her idea.

They walked in silence for a second before Parrish said, “You know you’d do the same if you were their age, right?”

“Shut up.”

Keep reading

Sugiyama Noriaki interview for “Otomedia” Magazine October 2017

Before we start I want to clarify 2 things:

1) I translated only Uchiha Family stuff (it’s about 80% of all interview). Maybe one day my laziness and self-confidence in my translating skills will let me translate it till the end (or someone else translates it) but for now only SasuSakuSara parts.
2) English is not my native language so if you see any grammatical, lexical and other mistakes or just don’t understand some parts feel free to write me. 

This story tells about the final of the difficult situation that has developed in the Uchiha family!

 Was Sasuke (even in his own way) as nervous as Sarada was? While emotions are increasing, the strength of their family’s bond warms the heart. Is it really because of the nervousness in the 23 episode he doubts whether he should poke Sakura’s forehead? We asked about this seiyuu of Sasuke, Noriaki Sugiyama.

“Without words he said to Sakura: Are you really willing to do something so embarrassing in front of your daughter?” It was funny to watch him teasing her (laughs) It seemed to me this shyness was very much in Sasuke’s style. Honestly, after the end of the recording, Naruto’s seiyuu, Takeuchi Junko, said to me: “No, I don’t believe that he could do otherwise!” (laughs), probably Takeuchi-san is right. “ 

We talked a lot with Sugiyama-san about Sarada’s Story. After reuniting with his family, Sasuke again goes on a journey. However, there is bento in his hand made by his family therefore even if they’re apart, their family’s connection is felt even more. 

- How it was to play Sasuke as father and husband?

In "Boruto” Sasuke Uchiha appears to be different from what we’ve seen before. So I often wondered how I should play him. Of course, in «Naruto» he and Naruto sorted all things out, his character somewhat “softened,” but if you change a lot the nature of the character, in the end you will ask: “Who is it?” (laughs). Therefore, to prevent this from happening, I had to think carefully how to express this softness in Sasuke’s style, how would he show it? I believe that it is unlikely that Sasuke would say a lot of gentle words to his daughter … at first glance, Sasuke could look indifferent, given his violent past, but I’ve felt that he certainly thinks about Sarada. And I thought it would be very difficult to balance.

- There was a scene where in his words to his wife Sakura you could feel a “trust”.

There is a reason why Sasuke was absent from the village, that is why I think that during their meeting you can feel how much their relationship changed, especially from Sasuke’s side. Although the atmosphere is similar to the one that was before… how to say it more precisely, there is a mutual understanding between them. At least, I felt it. 

- What’s about Naruto?

 In my opinion, one of the most notable changes was his attitude towards Naruto’s words. After they sorted all things out, instead of cutting Naruto off with words «it’s wrong!» Sasuke rather thinks: “Well, most likely this idea also can be right”. If you compare with the former Sasuke, you can get the impression that in his mind he’s indulgent to Naruto. I think, instead of “a little softened” (about a small change in Sasuke) it would be more correct to say: “Ah, he seems to have become a little kinder.”
  I think if Sasuke was too kind to Sakura and Sarada, Sarada wouldn’t have had all these worries. The image of Sasuke should have turned out to make Sarada think: “Does this man understand what kind of relationship should be between the father and the child?” And this is also difficult.

 - Sugiyama-san, what is your impression of Sasuke’s daughter, Sarada?

 I think with the way she thinks and her insight she’s just like Sasuke. And love. In the Uchiha clan, “they are penetrated with love, that’s why they try to avoid this feeling” and Sarada also inherited it with the blood of Uchiha (laughs). In my opinion, the child is very cute. From her mother Sakura, she gets both love and trust, but you can see how much she wants to know the truth, she want everything to be clarified. Here, the blood of Uchiha has proven itself especially strong.  

- Is there any scene and phrase in the story of “Sarada Uchiha” which really impressed you?

There are a few, but the most exciting of them, when Sarada asked: “Do you think your feelings are well and truly connected to Mom?”, and when Sasuke replied: “Because we have you, Sarada,” what surprised her. Even if he doesn’t say a lot “Sarada, Sarada”, his concern for her is evident. Sasuke’s position can be understood, because if he were in Konoha, it could bring danger to Sarada and Sakura, so he wanted to eliminate all those who sought revenge on him in the village or outside of Konoha. In the village, he has people dear to him, to whom he can’t return, and he strongly feels that he must protect them from the outside.


Translated from Russian to English by me
Translated from Japanese to Russian by SasuSakuTeam. Мастерская переводов

Mothers’ Weekend

Hello there! Long time, no see (my bad I know) but, here: an Alicia Zimmermann-centric piece as she goes to Parents’ Weekend during Jack’s freshmen year. [focus on Alicia, Jack, and Shitty] 6k


Somewhere, deep in her heart, Alicia Zimmermann knows she is a bad mother.

It started out as a worry, as maybe it does for all new mothers, that she will be a bad mother. That she won’t know what to do with a baby or a toddler that one day she will accidentally drop him or forget to feed him or feed him something he is actually allergic to or maybe she’ll scar him emotionally somehow and she worried but she survived his childhood okay. And then, after he was five or six, she stopped worrying about it. She thought she was doing pretty good. Jack had hockey and loved hockey and, sure, they didn’t have deep emotional talks but she didn’t exactly have any basis of comparison. Television families told her she was doing okay. No teenage boy wanted to have deep talks with his mother. And, look, if Jack didn’t talk to her all that much as he turned 12 and then 13, at least he was still talking to his father. Mostly still about hockey but she… she thought that had counted. Hockey was like French, to her. Another language she could understand but couldn’t quite speak. But Bob could. He was on top of it. Jack was taken care of.

She loved Jack. That was never the problem. The problem was that her love wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. It didn’t alert her to any of the facts and maybe it even blinded her– She loved her son and her son loved hockey and so she loved hockey too. She loved her son and then her son seemed to love a boy named Kent and they never talked about it but she let Kent come over all the time and she figured they would discuss it at some point. She just… assumed everything was okay. Even after he was diagnosed with the anxiety disorder and given pills. It was always… well, that was a little problem but it’s handled and under control and everything is okay now.

See. Bad mother.

A good mother would have known somehow.

A good mother would have pushed and prodded or sensed it without even having to be told.

A good mother would have paid attention to how hard Jack was on himself. A good mother would have made sure her son had interests outside of hockey. A good mother would have known that Jack’s long silences after losses weren’t normal. A good mother would have preached balance and fostered friendships with different types of people and stopped the fucking hockey.

She didn’t though. Stop the hockey. No, not Alicia Zimmermann. She encouraged it. She went to the games and cheered the loudest and she even loved it a little bit because she thought it brought him joy, like his father. She bought into the vision: Jack playing hockey like Bob, the Zimmermann legacy continued throughout the ages…

God, she even used to tease Jack about how it took his father three years to win a Cup and she was sure Jack could manage it faster than his old man.

A good mother wouldn’t have done that. So, see, she’s always been a bad mother. Even now, now that she’s almost lost him, now that she’s promised to do better, now that she’s finally read all the books and online articles about anxiety and pressure and the danger of sports and hockey culture… now she’s still just as bad. Just for different reasons.

Now she is a bad mother because it’s Saturday afternoon and he’s been at Samwell for almost three months and she does not feel like mothers are supposed to feel in this moment.

She glances around. At the sea of other mothers and fathers crammed onto Samwell’s campus for Parents’ Weekend. They are not nervous. They are excited. Happy. Enthusiastic. Overjoyed to see the teenager they had left just a couple months ago again. To her right is a father almost (but not quite) breaking into a run to give his son a hug. To her left, a mother has burst into tears. Happy tears.

And then there’s her. She’s not excited to see Jack. Well, no. No, it’s not that she’s not excited. She is. She is. (She is. She repeats it once more just to remind herself). She is just…

She is nervous too. More nervous than she is excited.

Keep reading

Never Her

Originally posted by inlovewithacriminals

Pairing: Loki x Reader (ft. the Avengers)

Content/Warnings: Angst; fluff

Words: 1544

A/N: So my Soulmate AU writing extravaganza begins with Loki, my MCU husband. I’ll probably end up writing these Soulmate AUs to be a little longer. This was a request for @bi-pie67 for 7. Your internal voice is the voice of your soulmate’s, rather than your own.


“Are you sure bringing Loki back to the Tower is a good idea?” You asked Thor dubiously. Steve seemed to reflect your sentiment, looking just as doubtful.

“I assure you, Loki will not get into any trouble,” Thor said. “He seems to have had a change of heart, and my father has ensured that he will be unable to use magic while here, at least until we are sure he is trustworthy.”

“I’m going to trust you on this, Point Break,” Tony said. “But if he destroys my tower again, I won’t be happy.”

“I am certain Loki will do no such thing,” Thor said. “I shall bring him here tomorrow, is that okay?” Everyone shrugged, still looking uneasy with the whole idea, though nobody raised any objection to that. “Marvelous! He shall be here tomorrow, then.”

Clint snorted. Out of everyone, he was, understandably, the least excited. “Can’t wait.”

You hadn’t actually been around for the whole Loki debacle, and admittedly you were a little curious to meet Thor’s brother. Some rather colorful tales had been told by the rest of the Avengers about Thor’s ‘crazy adopted brother’, but you wanted to find out for yourself. Plus, as someone who was still waiting to find their soulmate, there was always the little ‘what if it’s him’ in the back of your mind. Your soulmate, at least from what you always heard in your internal voice, sounded British… almost. You couldn’t put your finger on the accent, but it was similar to Thor’s.

“Up and at ‘em, sunshine!” Tony’s voice came over the speakers in the tower the following morning. “Good ol’ Reindeer Games will be here today, so we gotta make sure everyone is ready. You know, just in case he goes rabid reindeer on our asses. That’s all. Over and out.”

Groaning, you rolled out of bed, pulling on some presentable clothes and making sure you were ready to meet Thor and Loki. Thor had informed everyone that he would arrive around noon, giving everyone ample time to get ready. You made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee that Steve had made and sitting at the table.

“Sleep okay?” Steve asked, glancing up from his own cup.

“Yeah,”  You nodded. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“No problem. What do you think about Loki coming to stay here?” He asked you.

You shrugged. “Well, I’ve never met the guy, so it’s hard to say. Wary, but curious.”

“All I can say is, don’t get your hopes up too high,” He said with a snort. “I don’t trust the guy.”

“Guess we’ll have to find out,” You said.

Keep reading

Lighting in The Last Jedi trailer and that scene we are all talking about.

Like many of you that last bit of the trailer had me screaming at the tv. After the initial freak out phase had passed, I began to slowly shift into the what if phase, meaning– are they baiting me? Now there are several theories out there about who Kylo is holding his hand out too. Some say its Leia and not Rey. What if I told you the proof is in the shot itself? 

I am about to give you a quick lesson in lighting, visual storytelling, and cinematography. 

Let’s go back to The Force Awakens as a reference guide. The lighting on Starkiller base bridge you know that scene where he kills his dad? 

Lighting was something they made sure to get right in this scene. Notice how Kylo’s face is half hidden in shadow and the other in light. Signifying his split.

JJ says this  “ And you see the light go away. And now they’re in this darkness. And darkness takes over.”

The play with light was even more apparent when Kylo and Rey face off against the edge of the cliff. 

Now I’m about to throw some cited literary sources about Film and Lighting just so it’s importance is established. 

“In visual storytelling, few elements are as effective and as powerful as light and color. They have the ability to reach the viewers at a purely emotional gut level”(Brown, 2012, p. 8).

Light becomes mood that gives its tone to a film. It calls upon our memory to react to physical phenomena such as cold, rain, fog, sun, or dryness, and come up with psychological equivalents such as annoyance, sadness, mystery, fear, anguish, comfort, joy, gaiety, etc. As these effects produce immediate impressions in viewers, the cinematographer is able to obtain psychological reactions out of mere technical means (Geuens, 2000, p. 153).


Architecture and Film both use perceptual psychology to get people to see spaces in a certain way. Architecture lighting designers skillfully illuminate buildings and rooms with psychological intentions.

Lighting designers think about a psychological response and how behavior is affected by lighting. Some examples are:

1. Visibility of vertical and horizontal junctions aids orientation.

2. People follow the brightest path.

3. Brightness can focus attention.

4. Facing wall luminance is a preference.

5. Lighting can affect body position (Ginthner, accessed April, 2013 p.2).

Just as lighting designers light spaces to stimulate human mood and behavior, Cinematographers light the space inside a movie frame with the intent to persuade a viewer’s perception. The way objects are lit in the frame will focus the viewer’s attention, the amount of shadows cast will limit perception, and changing lights can indicate a change in a character or opportunity (Brown, 2012).

However, unlike film, architecture has had a psychological study on how different light in a physical space effect human arousal, concentration, memory, work productivity, and Mood.

If you take any type of filmmaking class, this is one of the first things you learn. Nothing is a mistake in these films everything is as designed to serve a purpose. 

So let’s dive into the scene in question. 

Originally posted by mine-loves

First of all, let us talk about how these two shots are framed. They are close up only showing the faces of our characters. 

Close up shots typically contain just the face and shoulders of a subject, with a little headroom above. This prevents ‘floating head syndrome’ as the shoulders suggest to the brain that there is a body below! These shots are the most common of all as they can convey a real sense of emotion and help the audience to connect with the subject.

Second, let’s talk about the choice of lighting

They are both in a warm fiery glow. 

You can judge the quality of light in a film scene through the hardness or softness of its shadows. Hard quality light has dark shadows with sharp edges and often feels more raw than soft quality light. Soft lighting, often used in older films, has lighter, diffused shadows and tends to feel more sentimental.

And with advances in film technology, sharp shadows can also be quite romantic. Case in point, this still from the end of the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice:

Third, let’s talk color 

Color temperature is one of the first things to note when studying the lighting in a romantic scene. Is it orange? Bluish? White? Most often, warm colors add to an inviting, romantic atmosphere. For example, the warm light in the sunset scene in Titanic draws the audience in, unlike the cold, blue lighting later in the movie, after things get dire.

Forth let’s talk context

This is not the same scene with Kylo. Rey is still wearing her resistance clothing. This is the beginning of the film. 

The context matters especially in this scene where Rey is talking about needing someone to show her where she belongs. Is this romantic? The answer is, no. Is it intimate? Yes. The scene can be set up this way without any romantic implications. But it is definitely meant to be intimate. Rey is vulnerable at this moment and is speaking from her heart to Luke. Please show me what to do with myself. 

Now let’s move to Kylo’s scene which is no doubt at the end of the movie (because his scar is healed.) 

Our big bad villain is bathed in nearly the exact same lighting and color as Rey’s shot, even the framing is the same. In no other shot ever has Kylo Ren been depicted in these colors. Not in the teaser and not in TFA. Kylo is always in red or dark. The context of this shot is very very important. He is reaching out palm up as to take someone’s hand. He does this slow and gentle. His face is soft with what I would say a plea. 

Yes, this is a call back to Darth Vader asking Luke to join him on the Darkside in Empire Strikes Back. But if you go back and watch that scene it is intimately framed (remember context matters), but the colors are pale. Lukes’ face is in agony. Vader extends his hand it’s rigid and forced.


Before I get into more examples, I want to point out that yes trailers are meant to give you an idea, and intrigue you but they are also meant to misdirect. 

Trailer Misdirects/Visual Storytelling and Dialogue

The misdirect of this scene is to make you believe Rey might join the dark side with Kylo or at least first glance. General Audience viewers casual fans who do not give it any second deep thought will accept this and move on. However, more dedicated fans will step in and try to dissect the scene by looking at the image and not the overall meaning behind everything we discussed above. The trailer isn’t designed to give anything away. Which leads me to say this is very smart editing on Rian’s behalf. While it doesn’t give us the answer of will, she or won’t she? It provides us with the question that we will inevitably discuss in length until the movie is released. 

 I would also like to point out there is a visual storytelling aspect of this trailer when it comes to the dialogue. 

One example of this not related to the scene in question comes from Poe Dameron.  He states “We have the spark that will ignite the fire to bring the First Order down.” The next scene we get is Finn. It is pretty clear that bit of dialogue was meant for Finn. He will no doubt help bring the FO down as other Stormtroopers defect as he did. Finn is that spark for the rebellion. Now let’s talk about the Rey/Kylo scene. The same thing happens here. Her dialogue coincides with the next shot of Kylo. Also, notice (scroll up if you need to) how their faces are opposite each other Rey is looking slightly to our left while Kylo is looking slightly to the right. Their positions are mirrored which is a recurring theme in the TFA (see the snow fight). This is beautiful visual storytelling. TFA was full of the same imagery lighting and storytelling. I have a post about it HERE

I went through and found scenes that mimic that of what we saw in the trailer, down to color, lighting, and frame.  I also chose male and female characters. Guess what, all of them were romantic. 

I chose this because of the flares in the background and the close-up framing of their faces. Notice yes the color is blue because they are parting (remember CONTEXT). 

Next, we have a scene from Pride and Prejudice, but beyond the romance aspect, I want you to watch the light change of this scene. Elizabeth is bathed in blue until she accepts Darcy, taking his hand. The sunlight beams between them warming the scene.  Skip to 3:10

Here is an oldie but a goody. I chose this due to the color. Now remember this film is old, lighting techniques have come a long way since the 1930s, but their choice of color is important, along with the shadows on their faces. 

Ah, Jon and Dany. This is very romantic (even tho its incest lol) But take a look at the lighting between them also this part is (NSFW) if you are gonna watch till the end. You were warned. 


And now for the grand finale TFA cliff scene. Oh, I chose this little diddy to drive home a point. Kylo and Reys’ faces are framed intimately (which signified they would have a more profound connection later and at that moment they were finding the Force together) But also notice their faces are bathed in mostly pale colors due to it being cold. Yes, the lightsabers flicker red and blue onto them. Yes, that holds meaning as well, the fight between the dark and the light. But the overall pallet is pale frigid colors. Also, the context -- there’s that word again– of this scene is they are enemies fighting. Kylo does want to teach her, but he’s aggressive and forceful, to say the least. It is a stark contrast to what we see in TLJ trailer. Where he is calm relaxed and in warm, inviting lighting. No aggressive posture, no forceful plea.

If you want to contrast another couple, please refer to Pride and Prejudice again. I can’t upload it here, but this is the link. This is where Darcy says he loves Elizabeth, but she rejects him. They have close-ups, but the color and lighting are not intimate. Its pale lighter and blue. All things that are associated with sadness rejection etc. You get the point. 

So in conclusion. It is my opinion based on all information gathered on cinematography, that yes the relationship between Kylo Ren or perhaps Ben Solo at this point has drastically changed. It is no longer one of animosity or hate. Judging by the warm colors, and the soft shadows and above all else the context of the gesture/posture/facial expression of Ben it is romantic or at the very least (for the skeptics) a special relationship– Remember Rey and Ben are similar in Force power according to Luke- this gives them a bridge to each other one that will take them to understanding and COMPASSION. I am not saying they kiss, I am not saying they are a couple at the end of this movie. I am saying that it’s possible that it will move in this direction. They no longer hate each other. How did we get to this point? Well, we have a whole Act 1 and 2 to get through for that answer. 

I will stress that I believe that yes Ben/Kylo is holding his hand out to Rey. And no, it is not out of malice or deception. He is not asking her to join him on the Darkside… He is asking her to go with him and for acceptance. 

I made a follow-up post to this because this was so long! Please click here to see more examples and extra information

Stop stealing my assigned parking space.

I wasn’t sure if this was petty revenge or malicious compliance but put it here as seemed better. A little long I think. But good I hope.

I used to work at a large car dealer and everyone was given assigned parking. The women usually got the first few rows as the lot could be a little dark and scary during the winter so consequently the guys got the rows up against the fence further away. No big deal.

Any my spot ended up being way down in the back corner and that was fine with me.

Every now and then I would show up and there was a car in my spot. The problem being that the used car salesmen were trying to hide a car they had prospects over the weekend and didn’t want it sold out from under them until they could show up on their next shift. If they worked Sunday they usually had Monday off. Salesmen being salesmen they would steal a sale from their brother to make a buck but that’s another issue.

So they would hide cars in employee parking and then the person who’s spot they stole would have to find another spot usually at the last minute and sometimes they would be a dick and just take someone else’s assigned spot. But that’s not the issue.

Keep reading

The Seneschal

My first Tumblrfic! A one-shot little thing that just would not get out of my head, so I had to write it down. The unexpected survival of someone important from Thor and Loki’s past prompts hilarity and romance.

Warnings: at least ten times the amount of recommended daily sugary fluff, Loki being rather excessively redeemed, Thor being an adorable doof, mangled old Norse stuff, spoilers for Thor: Ragnarok.


Earth it is, then.

Such simple words. His first real proclamation as king. It seemed simple. Point enormous ship towards Midgard and go there. But, like most things in Thor’s life of late, the reality turned out to be anything but straightforward.

Spaceships were very complicated things. They needed fuel and maintenance and all sorts of other things to keep them running. This one – the newly renamed Asgard – apparently ran on a certain type of exotic matter particular to one of the rarer types of compact star, which was probably why it had been sitting in the Grandmaster’s hangar on Sakaar rather than being actively used. It was a minor miracle – although Loki insisted it had more to do with his outstanding piloting skills – that the thing had managed to limp through the portal in the first place.

It was also low on general supplies, like food and potable water, although on the plus side was extremely lavishly furnished with what turned out to be quite a lot of potentially valuable goods. The mineral ore in the aft hold was also apparently quite prized, or at least the trader Loki spoke to was convinced that it was. Thor decided not to ask for the details of the transaction when his brother had returned with a certain smug edge to his triumphant grin.

‘Why do we need these…hydrosonic things?’

'Hydroponics,’ the Valkyrie, whose name he had finally discovered was Brunhilde, repeated with a roll of her eyes. 'I told you, to grow food. We can’t trade anywhere near enough to keep everyone fed and it is going to take a long while to get to Midgard.’

'Hulk bored.’

'But couldn’t we have traded for more food and less-’ Thor paused to peer at the unfamiliar term on the dataslate ’-nutrient fluid?’

'Yes, but the technology will be more efficient in the long run,’ Loki pointed out. 'The difference between hunting and farming.’

'Hulk bored.’

'At least the water filtration systems seem to work.’ Thor scratched at his chin for a moment. 'Do we have a full head count yet, Heimdall?’

'Six hundred and eighteen,’ the former gatekeeper replied solemnly.

'That’s all?’ Thor tried not to sound too appalled, without much success. Asgard had housed over two hundred thousand people under Odin’s rule. Still, between Hela and Surtr it was remarkable that they had managed to save that many.

'We’ve little idea of who survived,’ Heimdall added. 'I’ve spoken to a few, guildsmen and artisans mostly, but-’

'Hulk BORED!’

'Who invited him?’ Thor asked. 'This is a council meeting, isn’t it?’

'Nobody invited him,’ Loki said. 'He just showed up.’

'We need to get a proper understanding of who we have on board,’ Brunhilde said, loudly enough that they all looked at her and even the Hulk subsided. 'And someone ought to be coordinating berths, and work assignments. Korg and the other scrappers are doing their best but we need-’

'A seneschal,’ Heimdall finished.

'The last seneschal of Asgard was-’ grimacing, Thor glanced at Loki in time to see his brother’s face fall ’-our mother.’

'Historically speaking the role of seneschal is separate to the duties of the royal family,’ Heimdall pointed out. 'But yes, Lady Frigga did adopt it in addition to her obligations as queen.’

'Thor no have queen,’ the Hulk said with a broad grin. 'He bad at girls.’

'That’s-’ Thor tried not to get too indignant at that pronouncement ’-that is not true, I just never – I am not bad at girls. With women. Shut up.’ He sat back and folded his arms, pointedly ignoring Loki’s snicker and Brunhilde’s barely-suppressed chuckles.

'I actually had someone in mind,’ Heimdall said, thankfully putting a stop to any further needling on that front. 'For seneschal,’ he added, only a little hastily, but ignored the Hulk’s snort of amusement at the clarification.

'Oh thank god,’ Thor said with feeling. 'Please call them up.’

'As you wish.’

Discussion turned to other matters in the meantime – Thor had to admit he was rather glad that Loki had so peremptorily taken charge of the need for trading with outside factors, for once putting his gilded tongue to some proper use – until a light knock at the door heralded the arrival of whoever Heimdall’s candidate was. Thor called for the visitor to come in and then felt himself break out into a broad grin of unmitigated delight at the diminutive, dark-haired figure that entered.

'Y/N!’

She inclined her head in a half bow.

'Your majesty.’

Pah.’ Springing to his feet, Thor rounded the table in two quick strides. 'You only called me that when my father was in the room. And even then…’

She laughed and permitted him to pull her into a hug.

'Thor, it’s so good to see you again. Great Norns, who cut your hair?’

'Oh, a creepy old man on an alien planet.’

'It's…different. And crooked-’ one hand actually came up to tug at the side of his shorn locks ’-we must find some shears and at least even it out-’

'No, no-’ Thor hurriedly batted her away ’-no more needs to come off. It’s fine. Really.’

'You’re lopsided! And oh…’ she stroked the skin beside his eyepatch '…your eye…’

'You want to make a hairdresser the seneschal?’ Brunhilde exclaimed to Heimdall.

'I’m hardly a hairdresser,’ Y/N said wryly.

'Then who are you?’

'Peace!’ Thor grinned at them both. 'This is Y/N Sjöfnsdottir – her mother was a nurse of sorts to us when we were boys, we used to play together as children-’

'Until her many talents led her elsewhere,’ Loki finished, standing up to move to his side with a smile that was small and brief enough to give it away as genuine. 'Hello, Y/N.’

'Loki!’ For a moment she stared at him with an unreadable expression. Then she reached out to very carefully prod his chest, clearly expecting him to dissolve into thin air and actually gasping when he didn’t. 'You’re – you’re actually here?’

'Very m-’ he didn’t get any further before she hugged him, too, although it was a much briefer contact and she turned back to Thor rather quickly after letting go.

'So, what does my king require of me?’

He laughed outright at her.

'Your help, as always!’

The Hulk decided to choose that moment to once more announce that he was bored, so after the briefest of amused introductions Brunhilde decided to take him down to the cargo bay, rolling her eyes at Loki’s half-pleading, half-chastising reminder not to damage the trio of extremely valuable power convertors sitting there.

'Not quite a typical successor to the Allfather’s council but at least it’s a bit different,’ Y/N said laughingly to Thor. 'I take it you want to drag me into this to help as chamberlain in some way, since there seems to be a marked lack of organisational ability in the room?’

'You’ve already been invaluable in overseeing the distribution of supplies and the wellbeing of the refugees,’ Heimdall said to her, with a meaningful glance at Thor. 'You’ve a knack for the role.’

'You’re too kind, Lord Heimdall.’

'He’s right, though.’ Thor folded his arms and inclined his head. 'I’d like to appoint you my seneschal, Y/N. The position hasn’t really been in use of late but…well, you’ll be perfect for the job.’

'And if I refuse?’ she asked, but the amused expression on her face said that she wouldn’t do any such thing, and they both knew it.

'I shall be very sad,’ Thor said, beaming at her. 'I’ll moan, and pout, and possibly throw a rage. And then I’ll make Loki do it, instead.’

'Oh, wonderful,’ Loki muttered.

'Dear Norns, there’s a threat and a half. I’d better accept, then.’ Her eyes danced. 'Although I should warn you now that rations are extremely lean which isn’t helping the already extremely low morale of our refuges, so-’

'We’ve already secured some additional supplies, as well as the means to set up food production on board the ship,’ Loki put in.

'What sort of quantities?’

'More ample than if someone else had handled the negotiations.’

Y/N rolled her eyes.

'Naturally. I don’t suppose you bothered putting anything onto the system?’

'The what?’ all three men asked at the same time, provoking an exasperated sigh.

'The ship has an integrated network operations and database system run on the hardwired consoles as well as these-’ she brandished a slim, palm-sized screen at them ’-so perhaps we could consider using it?’

Thor broke into another grin that was as relieved as it was grateful.

'Do you see why we need you?’

*

Ten minutes later, en route down to the enormous main cargo deck, Loki found himself in one of his rarest conditions; lost for what to say.

Y/N was alive.

The idea, the reality, overrode all attempts at cohesive thought. The last time he’d seen her…it had been years ago, before Thor’s confirmation and all that came after. When he’d returned to Asgard in chains, Frigga had said Y/N asked to see him but had been denied by Odin. Of course. Later, after he'd…acquired the throne, he’d wanted to send for her, desperately, but couldn’t risk exposing himself by doing so. Knowing that she’d survived, against all odds, and was here

'Oh, this is good. Depending on the rationing, of course, and we need a proper census to confirm numbers and demographics…’

The detached, businesslike tone was painful to hear. She’d once had nothing but smiles, even for him, laughing at his tricks, defending his wayward nature. Memories surfaced unbidden – sunlit corridors and running feet, his own chuckles and the sweet melody of her laugh.

'…spoken to but I recall there were several greensmen from the lower terraces and at least half a dozen artificers-’

'Y/N.’

She paused and glanced back at him, the animation draining steadily from her face.

'You’re angry with me,’ he said, somehow managing to keep his voice level.

Cocking her head, she folded her hands over the data slate and turned to regard him properly.

'I’m not angry with you.’

'No. I suppose not.’ Loki managed a small, grim smile, and glanced down at his boots. 'Let me guess, you're…livid, enraged, furious, perhaps all three?’

'I’m hurt.’

'What?’ That made him look up at her.

'We all thought you were dead, Loki.’ Y/N’s voice sounded taut as a bowstring, ready to snap but barely controlled. 'After the Bifrost – after Midgard – after everything – I’m not angry with you. I just can’t believe you would let us all think-’ pausing, she sniffed and seemed to collect herself after a moment. 'I tried to see you, before.’

'I know.’

'I begged Odin, but he refused and your mother – your mother said it was best I didn’t. Later I…left.’

'Left?’

'The city. I went north into the wilds.’

He blinked, confused.

'Why?’

'Why would I not?’ she replied, and wiped at her eyes as if impatient with herself. 'My family were all gone by then, and your mother – and then Thor was gone, and you were dead.’ Stopping, she took a short breath. 'I was living in one of the old fortresses up in the mountains when Heimdall found me, on the run, and then there was Hela, and the refugees started arriving…’

'I’m sorry,’ Loki blurted, and had to drop his eyes when she looked askance at him. He closed the distance between them and put his hands over hers. 'I never…I never meant to hurt you. Not like that, not – not at all. I’m sorry.’

Y/N sighed and met his gaze when he raised it.

'Everything and…you’re sorry.’

'Yes.’ He risked a small grin. 'Well, not entirely sorry…I mean, if you hadn’t left the city and been in the mountains when Hela arrived then you might not be here, and alive. And that I would not change for anything.’

She stared at him for a long moment and turned, pulling away and lifting a hand to cover her mouth. For a moment Loki panicked, but then she whirled back and he felt his shoulders sag in relief as she threw her arms about him, laughing and crying all at once.

'Oh, I have missed you, you – you – scoundrel!’

He hugged her back, taking the opportunity to bury his nose in her braided hair, and felt an irresistible grin of pure delight split his face as he did.

'I’ve missed you, too.’

The embrace still didn’t go on as long as he would have liked, but at least it was better than the perfunctory one from earlier. Y/N drew back and smiled, reaching up to trail her fingers through a strand of his hair.

'Thor loses his, and yours grows out…it suits you.’

'Thank you.’ He barely resisted the urge to lean into her hand – curses, he’d forgotten the effect her touch had on him – and tried to sound brisk. 'Shall we look at these supplies, then?’

'Yes, we’d better.’

An hour later, back in the cabin he’d appropriated for himself, Loki sat down hard on the still-strange bed and regarded the empty wall opposite him blankly. His fingers flexed.

Cast enough illusions and you risk forgetting what is real.

But sometimes forgetting, even just for a little while, was enough.

He gave in and reached for his magic, cloaking the narrow room in a glamour that enveloped all of his own senses while betraying nothing to others. It was an old spell, easy to cast, as familiar as the pages of a well-read book. For a moment he closed his eyes, drinking in the cheers and adulation but not caring about the false crowd.

“They love you, you know. Perhaps almost as much as I do.”

Loki opened his eyes and smiled at her. He’d spent a long time getting every detail of the chimera just right, from the way the light hit her hair to the exact hue of her dress. Green and gold, of course, but then she was lovely to him whatever colours she wore.

'My beautiful queen,’ he murmured. The glamour smiled back, a perfect simulacrum of her face, and stepped up to his side.

“My beloved king.”

Loki reached up towards her but stopped just short of touching her face, knowing that would dispel the illusion. Instead he banished the rest – the hall, the crowds, the regal trappings – stripping the spell back so that she stood before him much as she had just now in the cargo bay. He could almost pretend she was really there.

A knock at the door shattered his concentration and he hastily broke the spell, taking a few breaths to collect himself. But still the fantasy lurked in his mind’s eye, taunting him anew to have something so close and yet so out of reach.

*

'…twelve weavers and nine jewellers, but none of them are adverse to retraining so I was thinking of an adaptation of the old apprenticing system, perhaps?’

'That sounds perfect. What do we need – uh – more of?’

'Artificers, mostly, although more greensmen wouldn’t go amiss. Oh, there’s also the matter of the twenty-nine orphans.’

'Orphans?’

That slightly alarmed exclamation from Thor was enough to bring Loki’s attention sharply back to the council meeting in full.

'There were lots of separations in the evacuation, and beforehand,’ Y/N said. 'What with one thing and another…yes, we’ve twenty-nine children who are without parents or other family to take care of them.’

'Thank the Norns it’s that few,’ Brunhilde advised grimly, taking a swig from her current bottle.

'Yes. Well.’ Thor leaned forward and laced his hands on the table. 'Any suggestions?’

'Two that I can think of.’ Naturally Y/N had not brought a problem without already thinking of a solution. 'We could set up some sort of centralised caretaking attached to the new school-’

'An orphanage, you mean,’ Loki interrupted. Thor made a face.

'I don’t much care for that idea. What alternative is there?’

'Fostering,’ Y/N said. 'There are also those who lost children, or whole families who survived and might be willing to take another child in.’

'Old Asgard had a rich tradition of fostering,’ Heimdall put in. 'Not just for the parentless, but between wider families or different bloodlines.’

'Yes. I recall Fandral was fostered most of his life with an old ally of his uncle’s because he was nothing but a nuisance to his parents.’ Thor’s grin at the memory of his friend dimmed slightly at the sudden recollection of his death. 'Still – that seems a far better idea to me. We should ask those who are able. I mean I should ask,’ he amended hastily, and for some reason glanced at Loki with a slight frown. 'Is that…appropriate?’

'I think the king gets to decide what is and isn’t appropriate under the circumstances, brother,’ Loki replied dryly, but couldn’t help an involuntary surge of affection for the enormous oaf.

'Yes, of course. Well, then, if you could-’ Thor gestured absently in Y/N’s direction, but she was already making a note on her slate ’-and could I speak to the children, as well? I’d just like to tell them that they – ah – won’t be forgotten about. Nor their lost families.’

'Of course,’ she said, and flashed Brunhilde a small smile when the Valkyrie’s eyebrows rose dubiously. 'Thor’s always had a soft spot for little ones. Something to do with comparable intellectual capacities, I believe,’ she added, catching Loki’s eye with a wink that made him chuckle. It was an old jest, from happier days, and he tried to ignore the way her gaze seeking his made his heart stutter as though tripping over itself.

'Hey!’ Thor protested. 'I am your king now, you know.’

'Of course,’ Y/N said, both unruffled and unrepentent. 'I’ll send the list of comparable intellects to your slate…your majesty.’

The Hulk’s booming sniggers in Thor’s direction echoed as she made her way out of the room, until Heimdall suddenly leaned forward and cleared his throat.

'The mention of children is perhaps timely.’

Thor’s grin vanished instantly, replaced by bewilderment.

'Eh?’

'You should think about taking a wife,’ Heimdall went on, as calmly as if he were suggesting that the other man take a short walk.

'A wife?’

'He’s talking about the royal succession, your majesty,’ Brunhilde said dryly, taking another swig from her drink. 'Sorting out a queen, begetting heirs, that sort of thing.’

Begetting-’ Thor hurriedly cleared his throat, visibly panicking ’-no, I don’t think we need to worry about any begetting just now, we’ve got larger concerns and-’

'A king should have a queen,’ Heimdall insisted.

'I think I’ll decide if-’

'The people of Asgard just went from a substantial number to an endangered species,’ Loki said, now thoroughly entertained by his brother’s discomfiture. 'Most of the berths on this enormous ship are still empty, even with all the survivors.’

'Point.’ Brunhilde grinned, clearly also now rather enjoying herself. 'It’s going to take a few years to get to Midgard even at the top speed this ship can do, which it won’t be doing most of the time, and only one way to boost the population for the long term.’

'A king should lead by example, should he not?’ Loki added with affected innocence, and snickered all the more at the glare his brother shot him.

'Those considerations aside, it will comfort the people to know the fate of the throne is secure,’ Heimdall said, somehow still contriving to be serious despite the fact that Thor was positively fidgeting in unease at this point. 'A queen, and an heir, will help everyone remember that Asgard still has a future.’

Except-’ Thor raised his hand as if he’d just plucked the deciding argument out of mid-air ’-I don’t have anyone to marry. So. Can’t be done.’

'There are plenty of unattached women on board,’ Loki pointed out. 'Pick one.’

'Look in my direction and I’ll hit you,’ Brunhilde said when Thor’s gaze started to slip sideways. ’Your majesty.’

'Well I can’t just-’ Thor was all but spluttering now ’-I can’t just pick a woman like…like plucking an apple from the nearest tree-’

'Thor no pick apples or women. Thor got no game.’

’-shut up, Hulk – and besides, I haven’t really been around on Asgard for years, I don’t even really know anyone-’

'I’m sure we can help you find one,’ Loki said helpfully.

'That is a fair point,’ Heimdall said, raising a hand to forestall further bickering. 'The queen of Asgard cannot be chosen lightly, especially now. It must be someone capable and caring, someone known to the people who has their trust-’

'Someone like Y/N,’ Thor said absently, stroking his beard. 'What?’ he asked when they all stared at him. 'I just mean – oh, god! No, I couldn’t marry Y/N! Could I?’

Loki became aware that his amused grin had turned rather brittle.

'I think that’s between you and Y/N,’ Brunhilde said with a laugh.

'She would be ideal,’ Heimdall said slowly. 'Everyone knows her, and trusts her – she was coordinating the refugees and supplies even before you appointed her as seneschal. She’s the right age, from a good line, familiar with the duties of the crown-’

'But I can’t marry Y/N!’ Thor exclaimed. 'It’d be…weird. Wouldn’t it?’ Ignoring Brundhilde’s scoffing, he glanced at Loki. 'Surely you don’t agree with this?’

It took every inch of Loki’s skill in dissembling to keep his expression neutrally amused. Every instinct in him screamed to agree, to insist that Thor could never marry Y/N Sjöfnsdottir, to conjure some excuse or reason why such an arrangement would be utterly disastrous…

'She would be an excellent candidate, brother,’ he heard himself say. 'Heimdall is right. She’s capable, accomplished, known and trusted, and…has a heart big enough to love all of the Nine Realms and much beyond.’ Oops. He hadn’t meant to say that bit, but nobody seemed to have noticed the slip and in fact Thor was now looking rather pensive.

'I suppose you’re right. She is kind, and fair. It would be…strange. At first, perhaps. But we could find a way to make it work, I’m sure. Still…’ he grimaced again, lost in thought.

Speak, you fool, Loki raged at himself. Nudge his doubts and have him put the idea aside! Why are you struck dumb now of all moments?

'I suggest you ask her, your majesty,’ Brunhilde said. 'These are hardly the days of Búri and Auðumbla when a king may co-opt a woman without her permission. Not that it wouldn’t be very funny to watch you try.’

Hur hur hur. Thor bad at girls.’

'Shut up, Hulk.’ Thor folded his arms defensively. 'Fine. I’ll speak with her later. Is there any other real business to discuss?’ he added, rather witheringly.

There was not, thankfully, and the others left – the Hulk still chortling – but before Loki could flee the room he felt an enormous hand descend onto his shoulder.

'Brother,’ Thor’s gaze was entreating. 'You must help me. I’ve not the way with words that you do, and of all the people to have to ask this, of all things-’

Under other circumstances Loki would have doubled over in laughter, but the painful reality of it kept him sober. So now he was to counsel his brother, the mighty Thor, ever-preferred and ever-glorified, on how to gain the hand of the one woman that he, Loki, would ever truly love.

'You need no tricks, Thor,’ he made himself say. 'No speeches. Simply explain to her the need and ask what you must of her. She’s no stranger or foreign princess to falsely court.’

'Yes…of course.’ Thor visibly exhaled. 'Thank you, Loki.’ A grin. 'At this rate I could be forgiven for thinking you really have decided to reform.’

'Don’t draw hasty conclusions, brother.’ And Loki left the room in a hurry before he betrayed himself.

*

'You said you needed to speak with me?’

'Yes!’ Thor hurriedly modified his tone, trying desperately not to bely his nervousness. How absurd. He would have gladly fought Hela a dozen times, or taken on Surtr’s mountainous fiery form in single combat, rather than have this conversation. 'Come in. Sit. Um. Would you like a drink? It’s-’ he squinted at the bottle, attempting to recall the name, but could only come up with ’-blue.’

Y/N chuckled as she settled into one of the chairs.

'I’ll leave the mysterious beverages to Brunhilde, thank you.’

'Fair enough. Uh, do you mind if I-’

'Of course not.’

Thor Odinson, the God of Thunder, reduced to drink to try and calm his nerves! The new King of Asgard downed the tumbler, wincing slightly at the aftertaste, and finally turned to face the woman he now had to…propose to. Oh, it would be no real hardship. Y/N was fair of face and kind of heart, and there was no doubt in his mind that she would make a wonderful queen, and wife. And mother, however much the latter in particular terrified him. But it was…Y/N. He and Loki had once chased her screaming down the main hallway of the palace and the three of them ended up in a wrestling match in the pond outside the gates. Once he’d pulled her hair, and she’d kicked him so hard between the legs he couldn’t walk right for two days. Loki had nearly killed himself laughing at the sight of his mighty older brother reduced to a moaning limp.

'You said you needed to speak to me?’ Y/N prompted. 'You’re just staring like I’ve sprouted a second head.’

'Oh. Yes. Right.’ Thor sat down opposite her. What had Loki said? Simply explain to her the need and ask what you must. Easy for you to say, brother. 'So. After you left the council today something came up – well, Heimdall brought it up – and I need to ask you to, um…’ he trailed off, because she was sitting there with her hands folded calmly in her lap regarding him with infinite patience and his mouth suddenly decided to forget how to work.

After a few moments of him opening and closing his mouth on the barely formed beginning of sentences, Y/N actually leaned towards him with a small frown of concern.

'Thor, what in the worlds is the matter?’

'Nothing,’ he managed. 'Nothing is the matter.’ For some reason his eyes chose to fix on the ample curve of her lips, so entirely unlike the slim contours of Jane’s. Why did the notion of kissing her fill him with such intense panic? 'It came up – Heimdall mentioned – well, it was sort of agreed – that Asgard needs a…uh…a queen.’

She sat back and nodded as though this was the most normal conversation in the world.

'Of course. Continuity of the royal line, the future of our people. Very sensible.’

'Oh. Good. I’m – ah – I’m glad you agree.’ Sitting back himself with a rather poor attempt at nonchalance, Thor tapped his fingers against the arms of the chair. 'There were…suggestions…I mean there was a suggestion on a very good candidate and-’

'Oh. Oh.’ Then she smiled. 'Of course! She’s very…different from your lady mother, but that’s perhaps all to the good. Have you spoken with her?’

’S-spoken with her?’ Thor echoed, now utterly bewildered. 'I thought I was – I mean I am – I mean she’s you.’

Me?’

'Yes.’ Confused, a little alarmed at her disbelieving tone, Thor’s mind went completely blank and before he could entirely register the motion he had shifted to one knee before her, as though they were on Midgard. 'Will you – uh – will you marry me?’ Damn, I don’t have a ring. Wait! I don’t need a ring, we aren’t on Earth. Damn, I don’t have anything else for a handsal either. He found himself actually patting at his clothing, entirely at a loss. Oh! He still had one of the smaller daggers he’d appropriated from Sakaar during the escape. A dagger wasn’t a very appropriate handsal for a woman like Y/N who wasn’t martially-inclined, but it was better than nothing. With fumbling fingers he unbuckled the sheath and held it out to her.

'Uh. Sorry. I didn’t plan this very well.’

Y/N looked away for a moment, biting at her bottom lip, and there was genuine regret on her face when she turned back to him.

'Am I speaking to my king, or to Thor?’

That doesn’t sound good.

'Oh. Uh, me. Thor, I mean. Always.’

'I can’t marry you, Thor. And I won’t.’

He blinked.

'You mean – you’re saying no?’

'I am saying no, Thor. I’m sorry but-’ she stopped when he got up and then half-collapsed back into the chair, clapping his hands over his face.

'Oh, thank god!’

He exhaled, leaning back for a moment and feeling as though an enormous weight had just vanished from his shoulders. Then he noticed the bewilderment on her face.

'I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just…of course we can’t get married. It’d be…it’d be weird. Creepy. You know?’

She burst into giggles.

'When why in all the Realms did you ask me, you great lummock?’

'Well your name came up and everyone agreed you were a good choice and-’ Thor broke off and gave up, joining her in laughter at the sheer absurdity of the entire concept. 'You’re absolutely right, of course. It would be insanity. I thought perhaps we could…make it work somehow, but-’

'I think we could,’ she said with a smile, standing up and patting his arm fondly. 'If it came to it. I care for you a great deal, Thor, truly, but-’

'Then why?’ he asked, thoroughly taken aback by that pronouncement.

'Because my heart belongs to another, that’s why.’ She gathered her skirts and made for the door, but his noise of surprise checked her. 'What? And I swear, if you make one comment about you being my king I’ll-’

'No, no, never!’ He beamed at her. 'But you…I had no idea you had any – uh – well. Is it anyone I know?’ A horrible thought occurred. 'Oh…is it someone who’s alive?’

'Yes, he’s alive, and that’s all I’m saying on the matter.’

'Oh?’ Thor’s brows creased with the effort at an intuitive leap. 'Oh! Is it – good god – is it Heimdall? I know you two were up in that refuge for quite a while before-’

'It isn’t Heimdall, and-’ she held up a finger in warning ’-I am not about to play some extended guessing game, so you can stop your postulating right now.’

'But I want to know!’

'Tough!’

'I’m your king!’

'I don’t care!’

*

Loki was reading in relative peace in one of the smaller refectories on the upper deck, having sent an illusionary simulacrum of himself off to keep Korg occupied, when Thor came bouncing in with the sort of joyous, boyish bonhomie that he hadn’t exhibited since before his brief exile to Midgard.

Oh, wonderful.

Too late, the oaf had spotted him and he’d probably have to engage in at least some brief conversation before he could conjure another duplicate to slip away. What could he possibly say to congratulate his brother on gaining the one hand Loki had ever wanted to see in his? How could he possibly conceal his bitterness at the unwitting cruelty of it?

'Brother!’ Thor boomed, levering himself down onto the metal bench at Loki’s side. 'You will not believe what just happened!’

'I take it that congratulations are in order?’ Loki ground out.

'What? Oh, no!’ Thor slapped him on the shoulder. 'Y/N said she couldn’t marry me, thank god.’

'Oh dear.’ Trying to keep his voice neutral, Loki exhaled slowly as relief flooded him. Thank the Norns, finally, for some small mercy. 'Does she miss your flowing locks, perhaps?’

'Very funny. No, she said her heart belongs to someone else! How about that?’ Thor grinned as though he’d just said something terribly witty. 'It never even occurred to me that Y/N might have someone. Someone on this ship, since she said he’s alive. Oh, but it isn’t Heimdall.’

'Heimdall is old enough to be Y/N’s father,’ Loki pointed out, but the relief had already evaporated to be replaced once more by grim despair. Of course Y/N had a suitor. Amazing it was only one. And of course said suitor would have waited for her to return from her self-imposed exile, and of course the thrice-bedamned bastard would survive Ragnarok itself…

'I suppose.’ Thor for some reason seemed irrepressibly fascinated by the situation. 'She wouldn’t tell me who it was, though.’

'It’s hardly any of your business,’ Loki said. 'Or mine,’ he added, as much to remind himself as to point out that his brother was gossiping like an old washerwoman.

'I suppose not technically, but…she is rather like our sister, don’t you think?’

'I think given recent events, actively seeking out another sister sounds like a poor plan.’

'Well, yes, but-’ Thor nudged him insistently ’-don’t you want to know who it is? Oughtn’t we to find out, to make sure he's…well…worthy of her?’

That wasn’t actually the worst line of reasoning Loki had ever heard from his brother, but the idea of pursuing the information would be unlikely to end well.

'I’m sure Y/N would be touched by your concern,’ he said sarcastically, returning his attention fully to the slate in his hands. 'However I’ve certainly no interest in arousing her displeasure by poking my nose into the matter.’ And thereby putting a large target on the head of some unfortunate who has done no real wrong…and whose loss would break her heart.

Pah, I thought this would be right up your street, brother. Investigation, intrigue, sneaking about…’

'No.’ Loki got up and walked out, ignoring Thor’s playful shouts and not pausing for a moment until he was back in his quarters. A twist of frustrated magic burst from him, knocking things onto the floor. Ruthlessly he pulled it back under control and gestured sharply, summoning the doppelganger of Y/N. Tranquil, unjudging, gentle. Reaching out carefully, so as not to disturb the spell, he traced his fingers around the shape of her cheek.

'I love you more than anything in this world or any other,’ he whispered. 'No matter what.’

But of course the illusion simply looked back at him, serene and beautiful and as empty as always.

*

'Is it Bjarke, that artificer who solved the power integration problem?’

'How long are you going to keep at this? Surely you’ve named every unmarried Asgardian man on the ship by now.’

'Possibly.’ Thor smiled and shrugged. 'You still haven’t given me an answer. Not so much as a wink, a clue, anything!’

'Why are you so desperately insistent about knowing?’ Y/N exclaimed as they rounded the corner and entered the empty council chamber. 'Do you want to go and challenge him, or something similarly archaic?’

'No, of course not.’ Thor sat down and crossed his feet up on the table, then grinned when she slapped his boots down on a reflex. 'Y/N, I merely wish to know, whoever this man is, that he is worthy of you.’

She laughed.

Worthy of me? And by what yardstick would you measure such a thing, hmm?’

'Well-’ that had him stumped for a moment ’-I don’t know…does he seem honourable…is he of good mind, and heart…’

'I doubt very much he’d come out very well against your measurements of such things, Thor.’

'Eh?’

Slamming her data slate onto the table with unnecessary force, Y/N levelled her gaze at him.

'You won’t give up, will you?’

'Never!’ Thor leaned over and took her hands in his. 'Please, Y/N. I honestly don’t mean to tease, really. You know I care a great deal for you, and this mystery suitor of yours-’

'Hardly a suitor.’ She gave his fingers a squeeze and sighed. 'Thor, my heart belongs – entirely and completely – to Loki. I’ve loved him since I came of an age to see boys as anything more than a noisy nuisance.’

Thor felt his jaw drop.

'Despite knowing all that he’s done, the mistakes he’s made, even that he isn’t actually Aesir…’ Y/N shrugged and let go, sitting back with a wistful look '…he’s an imp and a scoundrel and he’s Loki. I know he’s done some…horrible, awful things, but he has a good heart.’

Thor was still gaping as the doors opened to admit Heimdall, and the sound of Loki and Brunhilde bickering just behind him.

'Even if he keeps it rather well hidden at times,’ Y/N finished under her breath, hastily shifting back to her usual chair but shooting Thor a stern glare that warned him to silence on the matter.

He could hardly concentrate as the business of the meeting got underway, barely managing monosyllabic grunts and acknowledgements to anything he was asked.

He felt like a fool. A blind, idiotic fool.

Even when you had both eyes, you only see half the picture.

Of course Y/N was in love with Loki. Even when the three of them were children, running riot around the palace, it was Loki and Y/N, Y/N and Loki. Hiding together, running together – usually from Thor – whispering together in corners or behind tapestries…

It took a whole hour after the council broke up before the King of Asgard realised something very important and practically sprinted down the passageway to his brother’s quarters.

*

The near-frantic hammering at his door made Loki hastily dismiss his current illusion spell and glance over in irritation.

Yes?’

Thor barged in without further preamble and an enormous grin plastered all over his big, oafish face.

'Brother! There you are!’

'What do you want?’ Loki snapped. The glamour he’d been practicing was quite involved – he was trying to recreate a particularly fond memory of himself and Y/N in the palace gardens.

'I’ve made a discovery of vital importance,’ Thor said, clapping his brother on the back.

'How wonderful for you.’

'It’s about Y/N.’ Thor sat down beside him and grinned. 'And her mystery man.’

'I’m not interested.’

'You should be.’

'And yet.’ Loki glared at him. 'I doubt she would appreciate your attempts to-’

'She told me who he is.’

'I don’t care.’

'I don’t believe you.’

'Good for you.’

'Loki!’ Thor punched him on the arm, hard. 'You really aren’t interested?’

'No, I’m not.’

Now his brother’s grin had taken on an even more buffoon-like quality than usual. Folding his arms – aware it was a defensive action and not caring – Loki fixed him with a steely gaze.

What?’

'You have no idea. Loki, God of Mischief, self-proclaimed master manipulator, and you have no idea!’ Thor seemed to be enjoying himself immensely for some reason.

'I have no idea about Y/N’s suitor because I choose not to,’ Loki spat back at him, irritated beyond measure with his persistence. 'As should you, it being none of either of our business-’

'It’s you.’

’-what?’

'Y/N has no suitor, she just said her heart belongs to another, and that man is you, brother!’ Thor thumped him on the arm again but this time Loki barely registered the impact because he was too busy battling to keep his expression under control. Devoid of any real reaction. Devoid of the completely irrational feeling of hope that welled up despite his best efforts to suppress it.

He looked away and constructed a shrug.

'If that is your attempt at a jest, brother, it is an exceptionally poor one.’

'I would not jest on this. Loki.’ Thor actually grabbed his arm and pulled him back. 'I’ve been trying for the last week to get Y/N to tell me who held her heart-’

Loki hardly heard him, mind racing. He couldn’t have let something slip. He was a master of masks, and he’d had centuries of practice with this particular one. Had Thor perhaps just stumbled upon this awful prank by pure chance, seeking something to taunt his brother with and having the idea prompted by the recent discovery of Y/N’s survival?

Yes, that must be it.

'Loki!’ Thor snapped his fingers in front of his brother’s nose. 'Are you even listening?’

'You’re hilarious,’ Loki said flatly. 'Forgive me for not rolling about in laughter but I’m rather weary.’

'You care for her so little that you’d treat this as a joke?’ Thor stood up, shifting rapidly from irritated affability to genuine displeasure. 'I thought you’d changed. Perhaps I was wrong.’

'I’m not the one making mockery of one he claimed to think of as a sister,’ Loki snapped.

'For god’s sake, Loki, you’re supposed to be the prince of lies, surely you can see when someone is telling you the truth?’

Thoroughly angry now, Loki looked at him with his mouth open to retort, but the words died before he could form them. Of course so much of subterfuge was knowing how to read it flawlessly in others, from their more obvious tells to the subtler signals available only to a master of magic…

There was no lie in Thor’s eyes.

The mask dropped before Loki could stop it, and an edge of something almost like pity crept into Thor’s gaze.

'Loki, you fool, how long have you felt this way about her?’

'Too long,’ Loki admitted, and had to lean both his hands on the tabletop to stop himself from stumbling. 'She has no idea. Nobody does. Did,’ he amended.

'Yet still you counselled for me to try and wed her?’

'She would make an excellent queen for Asgard.’ Loki hung his head and shook it. 'And you would have done everything in your power to make her happy.’

'I still will.’

That made him look up, and his brows creased.

'What?’

'Y/N will not marry me because her heart belongs to you. You rather clearly feel the same way about her, though you’ve hidden it even better than she has.’ Thor spread his hands in an expansive shrug. 'Why should you not be together, brother?’

'After all I’ve done, and all your talk of worthiness, you would send a frost giant to her?’ Loki asked, making no attempt to hide his bitterness at the latter part of the remark.

'She knows your heritage and cares not.’ Thor shrugged again. 'I care for both of you, and I believe she brings out the best of you. She always has, even when we were children.’

That made Loki laugh, although he couldn’t deny the truth in that verdict.

'Ah, so your plan is to leash me to Y/N to keep me behaving myself, is that it?’

'Will it count as a leash if you wear it willingly?’ Thor replied with another grin, and then sobered. 'If this will make someone I care for very much so happy, and give me my brother back…how could I possibly do anything but wish for it to be so?’

That was actually rather touching, but Loki still found himself wary to the point of hesitancy. After everything he’d done, the lives he’d taken, the knowledge that he was a monster from the nightmares of Aesir children…it was one thing to say she cared for him, but if he dared to present himself to Y/N and ask for her favour then surely, surely she would recoil in shock.

He was startled out of this unpleasant rumination when Thor stepped behind him, grabbed him by his upper arms and practically frog-marched him out of the room and down the corridor.

'What are you doing?’

'You can thank me later.’ Stopping in front of another cabin door, Thor put him squarely in front of it, leaned around to knock loudly on the metal and then turned to depart. Loki floundered for a moment – he hadn’t been so summarily carted somewhere by his brother in well over eight centuries – but before he could summon the wherewithal to do anything at all, least of all flee or cloak himself, the door opened and Y/N was regarding him with a rather confused expression.

'Loki? What’s wrong?’ She ushered him quickly inside while he was still trying to gain control of his tongue. 'You look like you’ve just been savaged by a bilgesnipe!’

The entirely relevant but inappropriate conclusion had a snort of laughter escaping before he could censor it.

'No, I – ah – I just needed to speak with you.’

'Of course.’ She motioned for him to take one end of the small couch and then sat down a decorous distance away. Loki swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. This would never do…the God of Mischief, left tongue-tied like a stripling boy…

'What is it?’ Y/N asked him gently, reaching out to lightly touch the back of his hand. When he looked at her she gave a small smile. 'Oh dear. The last time a son of Odin boggled at me like that things got extremely awkward.’

'Yes. About that.’ His voice broke and he hurriedly cleared his throat. 'Thor told me about the – um – the proposal. And why you…said no to him.’

A guarded tension stiffened her shoulders.

'Oh?’

Loki risked shuffling up a little and took her nearby hand in both of his.

'Yes. All of it.’

He hadn’t seen her look that murderous since he’d set fire to her doll when they were children. And that had been an accident. Well, mostly.

'I am going to kill that useless, nosy, prying-’

'Y/N, I love you.’ It came out in rather a rush, and Loki hastily carried on in the vague hope that with sufficient momentum behind them the words would come easier. 'I’ve always loved you. I never thought – I never imagined you would – especially after everything…the Bifrost, and Midgard, and knowing how I hurt you by pretending to be dead for so long-’

He was obliged to stop when her lips suddenly arrived on his. Then they were kissing each other and her hands were on his face, his fingers were winding through her hair and the entire room seemed to shrink to nothing but the feel of her against him…

They were both gasping by the time they broke for air. Loki pulled Y/N closer and leaned his forehead against hers, feeling a grin escape. Then it became a laugh – the most free, open one he could remember having uttered in years – and her chuckle rose to meet his until they were both all but doubled over in each other’s embrace.

'Oh, Loki-’ Y/N tangled her hands up through his dark locks ’-we’re both such idiots. I never even dreamed a prince of Asgard could love a mere housekeeper.’

'And I never thought a beautiful, kind-hearted seneschal could care for a lesser son, or a monster.’ Loki touched her cheek and then drew back, dropping his gaze. 'You know what I am. I’m not even Aesir. I can’t-’ he swallowed ’-I can’t give you children, or anything normal-’

'Hush.’ She kissed him again, with such tenderness that it made his heart ache. 'Loki, I love you, with everything that means.’ Her smile warmed him down to his toes. 'Why in all the Realms would I want something normal when I could have you?’

'You…truly don’t care?’

'Not in the slightest. Besides-’ she winked ’-with your idiot interfering bilgesnipe of a brother to look after, what need will we have of children?’

They both laughed at that and Loki pulled her closer, into his arms where he’d so yearned to have her for so very long.

'That’s very true.’

'I’m still going to kill him,’ she added playfully.

'Of course. Maybe be merciful and make it painless.’

'If you insist.’ Tucking her head under his chin, she sighed deeply. 'How I love you, Loki.’

'And I love you.’ He turned his head so his cheek rested on her hair. 'I should have told you so a long time ago.’

'Tell me every day,’ she replied softly.

'As my lady wishes,’ he said with a laugh, and kissed her.

*

Thor was halfway back to his own cabin, grinning delightedly and feeling thoroughly pleased with himself, when something else occurred to him and made him stop short.

'Wait – who did Y/N think I was going to ask to marry me?“

Thin Mints and Menthol (Steve Harrington x Reader)

This is now a series!

PART 2   PART 3

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: It’s set a year after Season 2 has finished and you’re a senior in high school who’s often getting into trouble with the law for petty crimes. And Hopper usually gets you out of trouble. Then one night the new officer Steve Harrington joins him.

Words: 1.7k (YIKES)

Warnings: Mild swearing, mild mentions of smoking, hints towards abuse. Slightly OOC Steve

A/N: Okay so this is the first time I’ve ever written anything so please go easy on me, I just love Steve and I’ve had this idea in my head for a few days so I had to write it down.


You sit on the cold step outside the gas station. Mr Pritchard stood looming over you smugly, as the Chevrolet Blazer pulls up, ‘Hawkins Police Dept.’ printed on the side. Parking itself roughly. Chief Hopper steps out of the vehicle quickly reaching into his pocket to his packet of cigarettes, he removes one and places into his mouth. He walks over to you whilst sparking up. There’s a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. The passenger door suddenly opens, startling you, it was usually just Hopper himself who dealt with you.

Steve Harrington? That’s new. You chuckle slightly as he walks to join Hopper stood before you. He’s staring at you in confusion. You scoff and hang your head. “This is the third time this month you’ve been caught shoplifting (Y/N).” Hopper says as he blows smoke out of his mouth. “I’m starting to think you’re enjoying the excitement.” He chuckles.

“I’d raise my hands in defeat if this asshole,” you say jerking your head towards Mr Pritchard “hadn’t tied my arms in front of me with fucking rope.” Hopper glares at Pritchard, the old man crosses his arms in defiance to Hopper. He huffs slightly and begins to explain to Hopper that you had been trying to run away. Bullshit. Everyone knew you didn’t run once you were caught. As Hopper and him get into an argument you lean back and glance at Steve as he’s scribbling furiously in a notepad. The khaki coloured uniform he’s wearing looks freshly starched, his name tag shines under the glare of the street-lights. His hair is pushed back and looks neat, except for the strand that’s fallen out of place. It bounces in time with his writing.

“You, er, don’t need to do that”

“Huh?” He says stopping mid-word on the page. He stares at you confusedly.

“He never presses charges against me. I usually just get a two week ban.” You tell him, grinning. A small smile tugs at his lips. “That’s what you get for shoplifting a packet of Salem's’ I guess.”

Salem’s? Refreshing. Wouldn’t have pinned you for a menthol kind of girl” You both laugh. “Well, Hop- I mean, the Chief told me I should write everything down…” He says placing the pen in between the pages. He closes the notepad, holding it in his left hand. He stands awkwardly waiting slightly too close to Hopper. You’re shocked, since when did Steve Harrington want to be a cop? It was unusual to say the least, you always figured he’d end up at an Ivy League college. Yet here he was standing before you looking slightly uncomfortable. He’d been in the grade above you, and was ten times more popular than you were. The ‘King’. That was till Nancy Wheeler broke up with him, started dating the Byers kid, and he faded into obscurity. You’d still see him in passing but he’d mainly kept to himself focusing on his studies, always in the library. You’d heard rumors he was friends with some fourteen year olds, but you didn’t know him well enough to find out if they were true or not.

“Do want me to untie you?”

“What?” You ask as you realize you hadn’t been paying attention.

“The rope. Do you want me to untie it?” He asks again. You look at his hands. His notepad, you notice, is safely stowed away in his breast pocket.

“Oh, sure. Yeah, please. That would be great.” You say stuttering over your words slightly. You internally kicked yourself. You can’t believe you’re getting nervous over Steve fucking Harrington of all people. He bends down slightly, you’re inches apart, you can feel his breath on your cold hands as he reaches for them. You lift them up slightly from your lap. He starts to try and unknot the large knot that Pritchard had tied it with. He pauses and looks up at you, smirking. He lowers his voice.

“Now, you’re not going to dash the moment it’s unravelled are you?”

“On my honour.” You whisper. You smile at him.

“Oh, were you a Girl Scout.” He asks as he starts to work on untying you again.”

“Unwillingly, but yeah I was for about five years. Prettttttttttty sure, I sold you some Thin Mints once.” You told him struggling back a laugh.

“What, really? How old are you?” He moves his hands away from yours. You grin at him.

“I’m seventeen, but my birthdays in a week. I figured you wouldn’t recognize me.” He snickers quietly and slowly begins to tackle the knot again. You watch his hands move across the rope, grazing your wrists lightly, sending shivers up your arms.

“No I’m afraid I don’t think I’ve seen you around, I know I’d remember if I had someone like you before.” You look up at lock eyes with him. The rope around your wrists falls into your lap. Steve takes both your wrists in his hands and looks and the marks left on them. He rubs the rope burn with his left thumb. His brow furrowed, he opens his mouth as if to say something.

“Alright! I won’t press any further charges, just tell her that she needs to stay off of my property. For good this time, I’m giving her a permanent ban!” You both gaze up at the two men who had been having a heated debate about your actions.

“That seems fair. You hear that (Y/N)? You’re permanently banned from this gas station.” Hopper tells you whilst Steve helps you to your feet. “Permanent means no entry, and no sneaking in with a hat and sunglasses on like you did at the convenience store down street. Steve glances down at you with an amused look etched across his face. 

“You really did that?” He says questioning you.

“I thought it was a good idea at the time. I was very mistaken.” You tell him with a huff as you fold your arms, the temperature had dropped quite drastically. He leans his head back laughing, his hair moves like it has a mind of its own.You stare at him in awe. He is annoyingly pretty. You think to yourself. Boys like him shouldn’t be so pretty.

You bite your lip to stop yourself from joining him in his laughing fit. Instead you peer over at The Chief who’s not paying attention and is instead staring at his watch. He walks up to you and gently takes you by the arm and leads you towards the vehicle.

“We need to be leaving, its 9pm and I need to pick up El- I mean, Jane from Mike’s after dropping (Y/N) at her house.” He tells Steve who nods and makes his way over to the car, he gets in and you can see he’s still beaming. “See you later Fred.” Hopper says to Mr Pritchard as he opens the door for you.

“Bye Fred!” You say as Hopper pushes you into his car. Mr Pritchard walks into the gas station ignoring your exaggerated goodbye.The door slams behind him the car shaking slightly. He puts the keys into the ignition and sets off driving in the direction of your house. The mood in the car is some what hostile. You go to make a smart remark to relieve tension, but Hopper stops you.

“Whatever you’re about to say (Y/N), save it. This is your final warning. Like I said earlier this is the third time this month that someone’s stopped you shoplifting. I’m sure you’ve done it more you just haven’t been caught. I’m worried about you kid.” He gazes at you in the rear-view mirror, you turn away so you don’t make eye contact. “Next time I pick you up, you’re going to be in handcuffs. You understand?” You nod, there’s a prick behind your eye. Tears begin to well up in your eyes.

“I’m sorry… Sir.” The air is suddenly as icy as it is outside, despite the heating sputtering it’s warm breath around the car. You zone out and begin to stare outside, watching houses as they pass by. Wondering if their teenagers were as troublesome as you were. You’re startled as a tear falls onto your cheek, you quickly go to scrub your eyes. Uncaring if you smudge the eye make-up you have on. You didn’t want to let Hopper down, he’d looked out for you each time there had been an incident. And yet you knew he was serious this time despite always telling you it was the final time he was clearing up after your messes. Somehow the presence of Steve made you embarrassed. Why do I even care? I don’t even know him. You think to yourself. And yet looking at the wing mirror and seeing him give you a reassuring smile was comforting, you return it sadly and turn to stare out the window again.

As the car drove up to your house the lump in your throat grew. It was fear. Fear of what was waiting for you at home. The lights were on meaning you were in for a rough ride. You sit forward as the car draws to a halt. Wincing as your hand touches the cool metal of the handle.

“Tell your old man to go easy on you.” Hopper says to you. Without turning to face him you open the door getting out.

“Thanks for the ride boys.” You say plastering a fake smile across your lips as you slam the door shut. The grin instantly drops from you face as you make your way up to you red front door. You can feel both Jim and Steve’s eyes watching you.

“Do you think you could get me any of those Thin Mints? I’ve got a real craving!” You hear Steve shout to you. Turning to face him, he’s beaming from ear to ear. You start laughing, you flash him the middle finger and give him a sarcastic smile as you close the door. Blocking you off from the world. You place your hands on the door and lift your eye to the peep hole to watch as Hopper’s car rolls out of sight. You sigh as you hear angry footsteps approach you. Grabbing at your arm, pulling it from the door.

“And where the fuck have you been?”


Part 2?????

3

~College!au Pen Pal Yoongi~PART 7

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6]

Hoseok ran past Yoongi, giggled erupting from his mouth. That looks suspicious, Yoongi thought. With that, he stood up and trailed after where Hoseok ran to. 

Hoseok and Yoongi, along with the youngest out of their friend group, Jungkook, were hanging out at the lounge of their dorms. There wasn’t much conversation going on; just them sitting near each other on the two couches and single love seat in the lounge.

“What was that?” Yoongi inquired, with a raised brow. Hoseok looked up from his phone, a mischievous smile painting his lips. “Oh nothing. Just texting…Bubbles.” Yoongi, who was aimlessly looking around the lounge, snapped his head toward Hoseok. 

“What? Why?”

“Oh come on, hyung. I was curious!” Hoseok raised his arms in defense at the glowering boy in front of him. Who knew Yoongi could be so defensive?

“About what?” Yoongi crossed his arms, a look of genuine interest on his face.

“About how you’re able to talk to her so easily…and not even know her! I just want to meet her; the legend,” Hoseok smirked at the last word. Yoongi scoffed. Legend? The only thing that made her legendary was the fact that he hadn’t cut ties with her after the first conversation.

“It isn’t easy talking to her,” Yoongi denied, rolling his eyes.

“Please,” Hoseok rolled his eyes, “I see your face when she texts you. No frown. Not a look of disappointment.” Just as Yoongi was about to disagree, Hoseok smiled. 

“Hm, even sometimes it looks like you’re looking at your phone in…content.” 

Yoongi raised his eyebrows and let out a humorless laugh, “Wow, that’s real funny Hoseok. Who knew you could be such a jokester?”

“I’m not joking,” Hoseok said, his voice dripping with seriousness. 

“Content? With talking to Bubbles?” Yoongi scoffed again. He didn’t hate talking to you, but it didn’t delight him, either. Right?

“See? Right there! Who else you knew have you given a nickname to?”

“That doesn’t count,” Yoongi waved his arm, “It was part of the assignment to have another alias so the other person didn’t find out who you were.”

“She couldn’t just went by you as ‘Unknown,’ you know that right?” Hoseok raised an eyebrow, both boys walking back toward the couches they were previously sitting on.

“Yeah, but she wanted a nickname,” Yoongi let the words fall out of his mouth before realizing what he said. 

“So you gave her what she wanted? Huh, that’s interesting coming from the guy who wouldn’t even share his food with anyone!” 

“Jungkook, tell Hoseok he’s being melodramatic,” Yoongi waved his hand in front of the maknae’s face. Jungkook, looking up from his phone, scoffed.

“Hyung, I agree with Hoseok hyung. We all do.”

“Unbelievable,” Yoongi muttered.

“You gotta admit, though. The way you act around us while texting her. You ignore us.”

“I always ignore you.”

“Yeah but this time you’re ignoring us for someone else,” Jungkook shrugged, “Hell, I do the same! Stupid Sarcastic Princess doesn’t know how much time I spend on her.” Jungkook then sighed, a small smile gracing his lips. Yoongi rolled his eyes. He doesn’t even hide his crush well, Yoongi thought.

“Face it, hyung. You’ve gone soft,” Hoseok concluded, leaning back in the sofa, a grin spreading his face.

Yoongi couldn’t reply. Soft? No, that wasn’t possible. No mater how hard you tried, you’d never get him to be soft. Hoseok has no idea what he’s talking about. 

“No I haven’t!”

“Look at you now. The old you would’ve just brushed it off and not cared. Now, you’re getting all defensive,” Jungkook laughed but silenced as soon as Yoongi started to glare. 

“Whatever. What were you texting Bu-her about?” Yoongi stared at the phone in Hoseok’s hand; the phone he hasn’t seemed to let go of. 

“Just what I told you: I wanted to meet the girl who managed to get through to Yoongi. Oh, and I might’ve let slip that you talk about her and think about her all the time.”

“YOU WHAT!?”

Yoongi chased a giggling Hoseok around the lounge, all the while Jungkook hid behind his phone, recording the entire thing.


AYYYY PART SEVEN! And it’s in Yoongi’s POV👀 I wanted y’all to see how he acts and when the boys tease him aww. What an oblivious soft boy.

EDIT: THANK YOU ANON FOR LETTING ME KNOW IN THE TEXTS YOONGI’S NAME WAS MENTIONED! IT WASN’T INTENTIONAL! Eh, just pretend it says “hyung”

Part 8?👀

Library Vigilante

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Content/Warnings: Fluff, second hand embarrassment

Words: 2360

Prompt: Library AU ‘You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down’ 

You can request more by dropping me an with an idea or pick a prompt from my favourite prompt lists one liners, 100 kinks, generals, AU’s and holiday prompts :) Hope you enjoy!


“I’m sorry, that book still hasn’t been returned to us yet.” The kind lady behind the desk spoke as she tapped away at her keys, “The gentlemen who has it is going to have a hefty fine when he decides to return it.” 

“He’s gonna have more than a hefty fine.” You mumbled, tapping your fingers off the desk. “How long overdue is it?” You asked, peering over the desk at the screen hoping to catch a glimpse of the name of this mysterious gentlemen. The librarian pulled her screen away abruptly making you huff in defeat. 

“I’m sorry Miss but that’s confidential information, you’ll have to wait until the book is returned or try another library.” She pulled her mouth into a tight line and began typing once again. You needed that book, it was the last one in the series and you were not prepared to pay a whole $25 on a book, not when there was a perfectly good one you could loan out for free. Slumping on the desk the librarian peered at you over her glasses, “Do you need anything else dear?” Yes I do I need that bloody book.

Pulling your head up you put on the best fake smile you could muster and glanced quickly at her name tag. “Susan,” You beamed, leaning ever slightly towards her “I just really need that book. You see, a poor art student like me doesn’t have a lot of money and libraries are where I can enjoy myself without having to pay and -”

“You should always donate some change to your local libraries dear, we have bills too you know.” Your smile dropped momentarily before you realised your face was betraying your annoyance. “Oh yes! I know that only too well Susan, see if you could just give me the details of the man who has the book I want, I could do you a favour and go and collect it.” Susan stared at you blankly, her fingers stilled over her keyboard. “I could be the libraries vigilante if you like.” You laughed, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear nervously. “Like an avenger, only on a smaller scale.”

Susan began to shake her head as you clasped your hands together, “We don’t need -”

“No I know you don’t but see I need that book!” You snapped at her, you’d already tried the other libraries for it when you discovered last week that it was loaned out. Unfortunately for you so were all the other copies. You gave her your award winning puppy dog face before she switched the computer off and placed a sign on her desk saying ‘Out to lunch’. You frowned as you watched her collect her things and move to the room that was reserved for staff only. 

It was completely empty in there, it was your local library that you frequented quite often but never really saw anyone else there. You weren’t stupid, you knew that being the closest library to the local college there was always students drifting in trying to look inconspicuous as they made their way to the first floor history section. Wandering around the place you realised that the place was actually empty, Susan was out back for her 45 minute break and no doubt there were students canoodling upstairs but…You were alone.

Heart racing with sweaty palms, you ran around to the other side of the desk and switched the computer on. All you needed was a name and an address and then you could hightail it out of there like nothing had happened. 

“Okay, calm down, you’re not hacking S.H.I.E.L.D…” You mumbled as you were faced with a password entry system. Putting your head in your hands you glanced around the desk, there wasn’t much save for a photo of a man in a cap and gown and a bobble head of Thor. You snorted, flicking his head as you racked your brain for an idea. Pausing, you began to type.

Books. Password denied.

Avengers. Password denied.

One attempt left. You glanced at the nodding Thor and tried again, holding your breath you typed Thor.

Password accepted.

“Black widow eat your heart out!” You muttered before typing the name of the book into the database. “Susan, we all have our vices.” It had been loaned out for quite a while, the man who currently possessed it has had it for 7 weeks. Who takes 7 weeks to read a book?! You thought while pulling up his details.

Grabbing a pen from a pot you quickly scribbled down his name and address on a piece of paper before switching the computer off again and hightailing it out of there.

It was a warm day so you decided to walk seeing as it was only a couple of blocks away from the library, you were running through the scenario of how the situation was going to go in your head when you realised that it wasn’t quite as far as you had thought. It was a small set of fancy apartments that was just down the road from the avengers tower, you remember the media saying that Tony Stark had built them but no one figured out what for. 

You scanned the list of names next to buzzers until you found the one you were after, “Donald Blake you’re mine!” You whispered as you pushed the buzzer for the apartment above his. 

“Hello?” A voice crackled through the intercom.

“Hi! I’m Donald’s girlfriend and I thought I’d surprise him,” You chirped, “he think’s I’m in California!” This better work.

Oh how romantic! Do you want me to buzz you in?” The voice asked.

You let out a silent prayer to whatever God happened to be listening before replying in a sickly sweet voice, “Yes thank you that would be amazing!”

Moments later you heard the tell tale buzz of the door unlocking, you quickly rushed through the glass doors and into the lift, pushing the button for the 3rd floor. The end was in sight, you were so close to getting the book and if you were honest, the adrenaline from the whole thing was more fun now than actually getting the book. The doors opened as your stepped out and made your way to the only door, steeling yourself you took a deep breath in and knocked quickly.

Picking at the skin around your thumbs you stopped breathing when the door opened to reveal none other than Thor, God of thunder himself.

He looked bigger than you’d imagined. Not that you’d imagined him of course, but he seemed bigger than he did on TV. You swallowed quickly as your checked the name and address on the slip of paper.

You looked up at the confused God, “Hi, does uh, Donald Blake live here?” You asked quickly, glancing at the paper before showing the God the slip too.

His laughter was like a boom, deep and hearty his whole body shook as he stepped aside to let you in. He shut the door behind himself before he led you through to a sitting room.

“Loki!” He laughed, gesturing to a man reclining on a chaise in the window, book open in hand. He was handsome you’d give him that, not in the obvious way like Thor but handsome non the less for a guy who tried to take over New York.

Your eyes locked with his when you realised that Donald Blake probably wasn’t gonna be sharing an apartment with the two asgardian brothers. Loki’s eyes roamed over your form as you stood next to his brother, his gaze was calculating and judgemental but not as cold and icy as you’d thought it would be. There was more indifference really.

“Brother.” He replied eventually, his voice more silky than you’d expected it. His eye’s had gone back to his book once he’d examined you and Thor motioned for you to sit.

“No thank you,” You noticed the younger prince’s eyes snap over to watch the scene unfold. “I’ve actually come for Donald Blake.” Puffing your chest out you turned away from Thor’s amused smile to glare at the raven haired prince who was watching you with curiosity.

“I’m guessing Donald Blake is a fake name, I don’t care. All I know is that I didn’t hack into that stupid computer using your name,” You shoved a finger into Thor’s chest before pausing and smiling, “Susan loves you by the way, you’d make her day if you visited.” Turning back around to Loki you noticed he’d close his book and sat up, your nerves were getting the better of you now as he stood up to his full height.

He’s taller than I thought he’d be.

“Anyway, you’re overdue on a book I want so I’ve tracked you down so you can return it.” Placing your hands on your hips you nodded once, signalling that you were finished. 

Loki’s mouth fell agape slightly before looking off to the side confused. Your confidence and bravado that had spurred you on had left, the adrenaline in your veins was replaced with fire as you felt yourself getting more embarrassed with each beat of silence.

Thor had taken to sitting on the couch that Loki was leaning on, a large smile plastered onto his distractingly attractive face. “You hacked into the libraries system?” Loki clarified.

You nodded. “Found our name and address?”

Oh god.

Came here, let yourself in.”

Oh no.

Knocked on our door and now you’re demanding a book back so that you may read it?”

I sound like a freakin’ psycho.

Thor looked between me and his brother who at that moment in time, had his head cocked to the left and was studying you very intently.

“How did you get into the building?” Thor laughed, taking a swig of whatever was in the bright rainbow coloured mug. 

Oh god now I’m gonna sound insane, officially insane. You thought before clasping your hands behind your back, rocking on the balls of your feet. “There’s a very nice lady upstairs, and uh, I told her that I’d flew in from California to see my boyfriend, Donald.” Thor clasped Loki on the shoulder and stood up taking his rainbow mug and his chuckles with him down the corridor.

You panicked, how could the god of thunder leave you with the god who’d tried to take over your planet not even 5 years earlier? Movement caught your eye as you watched Loki move with every bit of elegance you’d expect from a prince over to a leaning pile of books in the corner. 

He didn’t seem as bad as every said really, watching him move books from the top to the bottom before moving the pile all together to sift through another you began to wonder.

“Which one’s your favourite?” You asked quietly, his hands pausing for a moment before carrying on with their task. You left it there, you’d already made yourself look like a lunatic and didn’t want to annoy the trickster god anymore by asking him mundane questions. 

He seemed to find what he was looking for and straightened up, walking over to where you were with three very purposeful strides. “Here,” He spoke softly, handing you the book you’d come for. You smiled and flicked through the pages out of habit. “It’s this series actually.”

Your smile dropped as you looked up to him, realising that he was answering your question after all. “I rather liked this series, of all the boring books earth has to offer these one’s are rather amusing I suppose.” 

“If you like these one’s then any of the books written by Neil Gaiman would probably suit you,” You let out a breathy laugh as you tucked the book into your rucksack. “His stories are about norse gods actually, and how they -” You stopped as you realised you were babbling again, with a wave of your hand you glanced at the door. “You don’t care, why would you? I should get out of your hair, thanks for the book.” You turned to leave as Thor entered the room again.

Waving at him over Loki’s shoulder you turned back to the raven haired god, “Maybe I’ll see you at the library sometime,” You smiled at him as you pulled the door open, “bring money, Susan says you’ve a hefty fine waiting for you!” You laughed nervously before closing the door behind you. 

Mind whirling from meeting two very handsome gods, you leaned against the wall as you waited for the elevator to arrive. “Book lady!” Your head whipped round to see Thor standing in the doorway to the apartment you’d just exited.

“Yeah?” You answered as you saw Loki glancing nervously between his brother and you, “What’s your name?” Thor boomed as the lift arrived with a ding.

You grinned, “Y/N.” Stepping into the lift you tried to ignore the quiet bickering that was going on between the two brothers. You pressed the button for the ground floor but it wasn’t moving, and the doors wouldn’t close either. Watching as Thor grinned at his brother while talking quietly you began to stroll back over to the pair.

“Not to sound imposing, but the elevator’s broke.” Loki glared hard at Thor once more before watching his brother walk away. 

Loki’s mouth opened and then closed again, looking off the the side you followed his gaze but found nothing of interest.

“You ok Loki?” His head snapped back with wide eyes.

He cleared his throat and nodded, “Would you like to get coffee?” He asked quickly, glancing behind him at Thor who was grinning like a mad man.

Once again you felt yourself warm up as you nodded a bit too quickly, “I think I’d really like that.” Loki’s face relaxed as he grabbed a jacket from the coat stand and pulled the door shut. “You take every girl who tracks you down for books out for coffee?” You teased, taking the stairs with him.

He smirked as he held the glass entry door for you, “Only the ones called Y/N.”

anonymous asked:

Prompt: eleven is popular And mike feels insecure about it (she gonna chose being popular over him) but she chooses him

HERE U GO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS PROMPT (massive thanks to @el-mike-jane for betaing this bc she’s the best)

Word Count: 3.5k 

Pairings: Mike/El, minor Lucas/Max

Rating: T (for language)

Mike Wheeler walks into science class to see everyone chattering, which is massively different from the typical dead-eyed stares of Mr. Sherman’s physics class. It’s the first class of the day, and Mr. Sherman speaks the way gray looks, so it makes sense.

Mike takes his normal spot by Dustin Henderson, their bard and only member of the party he has in this class. “What’s up with everyone today?”

“They’re announcing the nominees for Homecoming Court during class,” Dustin says, looking bored. “It’s all bullshit, but everyone else is excited.”

Keep reading

Earned It- Loki One Shot

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Prompt: When Thor brings Loki to stay with the Avengers, the team decides to prove just how much the God of Mischief has changed by assigning you to earn his trust; but you end up earning more than that. NO RAGNAROK SPOILERS!

Word Count: 3700

A/N: Ok so I saw Thor Ragnarok when it first came out and I absolutely loved it. For some reason, I fell in love with Loki. Not gonna lie, I feel like Loki deserves redemption and the MCU is not giving him that at all (which is why I disliked him in previous movies). Before Ragnarok, I only liked Loki because he was funny and Tom Hiddleston is beautiful. So, yeah, with this new found love for Loki, I have decided to expand my characters by adding him to the list of people I will write of. Fair warning: this is not a good imagine at all.

~~~

“But why me?” You let out an exasperated whine, “He knows me the least.”

“It’s not just that.” Steve nodded, “You weren’t there when he tried taking over the world, so you’re the best candidate.”

“So what? I’m chosen just because he’s never tried to kill me directly before?”

“Basically. Plus, you’re a hot, young girl that Loki would totally mess with.” Tony added, making Natasha hit him over the back of his head and you roll your eyes. “I’m just saying that you have more assets than I do when it comes to gaining the God of Mischief’s trust.”

“Thanks, Tony.” You replied in a flat tone.

“Will you do it, Y/N? It’s the best way to see if he has changed and if we can actually trust him.” Steve said.

“If I’m our only hope, then sure, but, I swear, if Loki tries anything on me, Thor, you will no longer have a brother.”

“Get in line.” Clint laughed dryly.

“Yeah, you’ll have to wait your turn for that.” Bruce said.

“Hey, now, no one will be killing my brother. He has changed.” Thor said. When the mighty God of Thunder first approached the Avengers about his brother staying in the compound with them, they were all quick to say no. Thor then went into detail about Loki’s redeeming actions while his brother walked into the room. After putting away their drawn weapons, Tony locked Loki in one of the cells, so that the team could discuss the issue at hand. That’s when Tony, Natasha, and Steve came up with the brilliant idea of using you as bait. You, the newest Avenger that has never even formally met Loki before, were chosen as the person to draw him out. You would somehow gain his trust and learn whether or not he has truly changed. If he never trusted you, then he was the same Loki as years ago; if he trusted you, then he had changed.

With your decision made, the Avengers left their meeting room to the cells. You all stood before Loki as he beamed mischievously at the sight before him. Tony opened the cell up and allowed the God to step out.

“Alright, reindeer games, we’ve got some rules that you must comply to- if you are to stay here.” Tony stated.

“Ah, rules- don’t you just love them and the chaos they bring?” Loki replied and Steve scolded Natasha as she began to curl her fists.

“Look,” Steve said, stepping up, “You’re not allowed to leave the compound unless one of us agrees to go with you; you cannot create any chaos inside or outside of the compound; you’re not allowed anywhere near the ships or weaponry-”

“I get it. I’m under house arrest. I’ve been in trouble before.” He stated, “Now, where is my bedroom? I’d like to catch up on some sleep.”

“Follow me, brother.” Thor said, leading Loki up the stairs as everyone dismantled from their protective stances. You watched as the two brother headed up the spiral staircase and you caught how Loki peered over his shoulder at you. You were quick to turn your head and invest yourself in a conversation with Steve.

~~~

That night, Loki did not come downstairs for dinner. Thor offered to take him a plate, but you insisted on doing it- that way, you could introduce yourself properly to him. Thor, knowing your intentions well, allowed you to take his place in serving his brother. You stood outside of Loki’s room and knocked lightly on the door, holding his plate of food with the other hand.

“Come in.” Loki said dryly. You slowly opened the door to find him sitting on his bed with a disinterested look in his eyes.

“I brought you dinner.” You gestured to the plate of steak and potatoes.

“I’m not hungry.” He replied and you shook your head with a laugh.

“You haven’t eaten all day. Please, eat this. Sam makes the best steaks.” You held it out to him and placed the book in his hands on his lap, before taking the plate.

“Sam?”

“Yeah, Sam, he’s the Falcon. He’s super cool and there are no steaks that compare to his- well, actually there’s a really nice restaurant in Upper Manhattan that has the best steaks. Sam’s are still amazing.”

“I’m dying to try it.” Loki replied sarcastically as he poked it with his fork.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” You said, holding a hand out to him.

“Loki, but you already knew that.” He shook your hand almost timidly. He felt that there was something off about you- why were you so kind compared to the others? He expected Thor to be the only one to treat him as a normal person- not some random Midgardian that he’s never met.

“What book are you reading?”

“Excuse me?” Loki asked and you nodded toward the stray book on his bed. “It’s just a story my mother used to tell me. It’s a part of Norse mythology, as you humans call it.”

“It sounds interesting. I’ve always enjoyed learning about mythology.” You said, genuinely.

“Well, as good of a book it is, it does get boring after a while. I should have brought more books with me.”

“You know, Loki, we’ve got a library.”

“A library?” Loki asked, his whole stance perking up at the word.

“Yeah, I’d offer to show you it tonight, but I’ve got dishes to do. I’ll show it to you tomorrow.” You paused and then nodded, “I’ll see you later then. Good night, Loki.”

“Good night, YN.” Loki replied as you quickly retreated from his room. He looked at the plate in his hands and set it on his bedside table. He picked up his book and began to read it once more. He couldn’t help but think about you and how you were so intriguing to him. As much as he’d appreciate you showing him the library tomorrow, Loki got up and made it his mission to find the library on his own.

~~~

The next day, you went to find Loki in his room, but found that it was empty. You then decided that the library would be the next best place to look, knowing that he had shown a level of interest in it. You found him as expected; he was comfortably lounging in a chair with his nose stuck in a different book.

“I see you found Steve’s Shakespeare.” You said with a short laugh. Loki jumped, startled at your sudden presence. He lowered the book and looked over at you as you stood in between two shelves.

“It is quite entertaining to read.” He replied, glancing down at Macbeth in his hands.

“I know. It’s one of my favorite Shakespeare plays.” You nodded.

“If you’ll forgive me, I’d like to continue it.”

“I’ll be quiet, but I want to do some reading of my own.” You replied. You searched in the shelves for a book as Loki continued his reading.

This happened once everyday for the next two weeks. You would enter the library to read in peace, and Loki would already be sitting at a chair by the fire with a different book in his hand than the day before. You would both make small talk for a few minutes when you arrived. You felt, over this time period, that your feelings for the God were growing, and growing romantic. You also felt that there had been no progress on your part- Loki still treated you as if you were just another Avenger, as if you were on the same level as his brother for trust.

“Just give it some more time.” Natasha told you as you complained to her in her room.

“Time won’t do anything, Nat. Nothing is working. We just sit in a library and read as communication.” You let out an exasperated sigh and she shrugged. You watched as she focused on painting her toenails a light shade of purple almost more than she focused on your complaints.

“At least he bears being in the same room as you. He makes every meal incredibly awkward.” She replied. You remembered back to just this morning- Loki was silent, like he always was, and, as soon as he finished eating, he left the room. His presence filled the entire room with tension.

“That’s one thing, though.” You huffed.

“Aren’t you usually reading by now?” Natasha asked, peering at the clock on her wall.

“I’m quitting this mission. It’s stupid and it’s pointless. The guy has been here for two weeks and he’s done nothing. Isn’t that reason enough to trust him?”

“Look who you’re talking to and think who you’re talking about- guess again.” Natasha laughed. She had been on so many missions where she was undercovers for weeks, and Loki most likely had no problem with committing to fooling someone for long periods of time.

“That doesn’t matter. What I mean to say is this whole idea is corrupt and I’m done with it.”

“Corrupt? As in it isn’t good on Loki?”

“That’s not what I-”

“Ohhhh,” Natasha let out sinister laugh followed by a knowing smirk, “You like him, don’t you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You tried to defend yourself.

“Sweetheart, you can lie to yourself and to him all you want, but you cannot lie to me. You are totally into him!”

“Fine, so what if I am? Why are you so happy about it?” You asked, referring to her blatant hatred of him.

“I don’t agree with you, but I think you liking him is cute. Maybe you could end up changing him.” She shrugged hopefully, “Plus, if he hurts you, it gives me even more motivation to kill him.”

“Like you need anymore of that.” You said, making her chuckle.

“Fine, if you’re giving up this mission, then you can go make me a sandwich. I’m starving.” Natasha said and you playfully rolled your eyes at her.

“Turkey or ham?” You asked as you headed towards her bedroom door.

“Turkey please!” She called from her spot.

You left her room and went straight to the kitchen to make up her snack. You finished her sandwich and then decided to make one for yourself. Just as you were about to top off your own with the final piece of bread, you heard a voice, announcing the presence of someone else in the room.

“Could you make me one too, please?” It was Loki and the sincerity in his voice was something almost unusual. He seemed quieter and mellower in his demeanor today.

“Would you like turkey or ham?” You asked as he stepped into the kitchen completely and began to watch you work.

“Either will be fine.” He said, “You didn’t come to the library today.”

“Oh, you noticed that.” You stated, awkwardly fumbling with the sliced meat before you.

“Why, yes, I did.” Loki stated, taking a cautious step towards you, “I do notice when the one person who does not alienate me leaves me alone.” You turned to him to see him being completely genuine- his soft eyes telling you everything. He looked away and took the sandwich from your hands, “Pardon my directness.” He left the room with the sandwich and without another word.

You sighed at his retreating figure. Maybe you shouldn’t quit- at least not yet. He had shown some feeling in that moment; he had shown that he cared about you. You wouldn’t jump to saying he thought of you in a romantic way like you thought of him, but you could conclude that he felt connected to you.

You took the last two sandwiches to Natasha’s room. You dared not speak of the recent events to her. She munched happily on her sandwich as you two watched reality shows and as he toes dried.

~~~

The next day was completely lovely. The sky was blue and the leaves were in the middle of changing colors. You absolutely loved it and you figured Loli would too. You quietly entered the library and saw him exactly where you had planned to: sitting in that same arm chair with yet another book.

“Loki,” You said, making your presence known to him. He peered over his book at you and offered a smile, “I was wondering if you’d like to go outside- since, you know, you’ve kind of lived in this room for the past couple of weeks.”

“Outside? You would accompany me outside?” He asked, completely thrown off by your question.

“Yes. It’s a beautiful day. I was going to visit the park and I thought that you might like to join me.” You explained yourself.

“I would like that.” Loki said. He set the book on the table and stood up. Using his magic, he changed his clothes from Asgardian wear to Midgardian casual attire. You smiled at him, admiring his change.

You took Loki to the nearest park, much to the dismay of some of your fellow teammates. Thor offered to tag along, but Natasha quickly shut that down. Thor was far too recognizable and anyone could recognize Loki if they had seen his brother. You were pleased about introducing Loki to feeding the ducks with the few pieces of bread that you had smuggled from the compound. From what you could tell, he enjoyed it. It was the simplest thing, yet it displayed Loki’s humaneness in such a strong way. He never really stopped genuinely smiling while at the park and all of it was because of you.

~~~

Loki was pacing around in his room the next day, rehearsing how he should ask you out. He wanted to take you to that restaurant that served the steak you loved, but he didn’t know how Midgardian dating worked.

“Brother!” Thor greeted, walking into Loki’s room unannounced and startling him.

“Thor, have you forgotten how to knock?” He asked with a sigh.

“I heard you pacing. Is anything on your mind?”

“Why would anything be on my mind? I’m fine.” His reply was defensive as he attempted to conceal his emotions. As the God of Mischief, he is normally much better at it, but his feelings for you had grown too great for him to easily cope with.

“Does this have anything to do with Lady Y/N?” Thor inquired.

“What are you on about, brother? This has nothing to do with her. Nothing is wrong.” Loki stated.

“Whatever you say, I shall believe, but I do think you should ask her sooner than later. Unlike us, Lady Y/N does not have thousands of years.” He spoke with a calm smile.

“Is that all?”

“Well, I was originally sent to ask if you were joining us for dinner, so will you?”

“It depends if I am hungry or not. You can leave now, Thor.” Loki said and his brother exited with his hands up in surrender. Loki looked at himself in the mirror and cast an illusion so that he was in casual clothing for the second day in a row. He left his room and headed straight to yours. As he was about to knock, he realized your door was cracked open and that you were speaking to someone in your room.

“I’m actually glad I didn’t quit.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, too.” Natasha said, “It seems to be working.”

“I learned from the best.” You laughed, referring to your best friend before you.

“Do you think he’s changed?”

“I think Loki has.” He froze hearing you mention his name. His heart hammered in his chest, “He seems kinder and gentler. I still feel bad though. A part of me wishes I gave up, but a part of me is proud that I’m going through with this mission.”

‘Mission?’ Loki thought. He felt a stinging pain build up in his heart. No, it couldn’t be. He was the God of Mischief. There was no way you, a mere Midgardian, could have tricked him- and there was no way you could have tricked him into falling in love with you.

“Going undercover is hard, but you have done it well, even if your target was the God of Mischief.” Natasha replied proudly. Loki heard you two come closer to the door, but he wasn’t quick enough to move. His feet were planted in that moment- replaying your words in his head. As you opened the door to reveal him, he used his magic to transform him back to his Asgardian self.

“Loki-“ you started. Natasha looked at you with concern, knowing fully well that he had heard the two of you.

“Don’t.” Loki spoke with a firm shake of his head. The smile that you had grown fond of over the past few weeks was completely gone. “Congratulations, you succeeded in fooling the God of Mischief.” He sarcastically raised his hands and did a partial bow for you, before he left without another word.

You watched his retreating figure in pain. You had never wanted to hurt him- that was never the plan, but, yet again, falling in love with the trickster was never a part of the plan either. You started to walk in the direction of his room when Natasha caught your hand.

“Y/N,” she sighed, “Leave him be for a bit. C’mon, we should tell the others.” Agreeing with her, you quietly followed her down the hall to the lab, opposite of Loki’s direction.

~~~

“Well, this is-“ Tony started after taking a deep breath, but was cut off by Steve.

“Bad. This is bad.” He stated. You could feel all of their eyes watching you, as you kept your eyes focused on the ground beneath you. “Thor, what do you suggest we do?”

“I do not know.” The God replied, “I have never seen my brother act the way he was with Y/N before. He showed a whole different level of respect and compassion for her-“

“Could it be that he was playing her as well?” Clint asked.

“No.” Thor shook his head, “Loki is mischievous and he is great at pretending, but not like this. I have never seen him so vulnerable.”

“You think he actually loves her?”

“I don’t know if I would call it love quite yet, but I do believe it could have become that.”

“Should I talk to him?” You asked quietly. Guilt and pain was all you could feel. Loki was upset with you, and, now, Thor believed you to have broken his heart.

“Maybe I shall speak with him first, Lady Y/N.” Thor said. “I know my brother best and I fear he is too unpredictable at the moment.”

“Very well then. Thor, go see him.” Natasha stated and he nodded. The room was silent as all of you watched Thor leave the room.

Thor entered Loki’s room to find his brother casually sitting on his bed, a book in his hand. Loki lowered the book and looked at the other God. He answered, “Yes?”

“Do you love her?” Thor asked.

“That mortal? Please.” Loki said, rolling his eyes lightly.

“Loki, drop this act. Do you love her?” He asked again. Thor stepped into the room and a bright gold burst came from the room as Loki’s magic disappeared. The seemingly normal bedroom was an illusion and shifted into the remains of a bedroom. The bed was torn apart with the mattress falling into the wall; the opposite wall had a few fist holes in it; and the bedside table was smashed, bits of it splattered around the room. Loki sat in the far corner and lifted his head from hands.

“See for yourself, brother.” Loki said, slowly looking up at the other God. His eyes were red and his hair was a mess from his recent angry motions.

“Loki-“ Thor was speechless. He had never seen his brother so broken and hurt. The last time Thor walked in on Loki in a state like this was when their mother died; and, now, Loki was broken once more.

“Surprised? This is what one look like when they are upset.” He stated.

“This is far more than upset.”

“It’s against my nature to call myself heartbroken.”

“Y/N would like to speak with you.”

“And I would not like to speak with her, or anyone for that matter, so, brother, you may leave now.”

“I will not leave you here to swallow yourself into a hole of despair.” Thor said as Loki stood.

“Despair? How would you feel if the mortal you loved betrayed you? How would you feel if you loved her and she had been lying to you this whole time?” His voice raised in anger.

“You have it all wrong, brother. Y/N has not betrayed you.”

“Leave! You know nothing of her lies!” He stepped towards his brother and Thor straightened up to his full height, preparing for any violence that may come.

“Loki,” You spoke from the doorway. Both Gods turned to you in surprise and Loki’s heavy breathing seemed to calm.

“Lady Y/N-” Thor started.

“I’d like to speak to Loki alone.” You said. The blond looked between the two of you and then left the room without another word.

“I do not wish to speak to you right now.” Loki turned his back to you and you took in his destroyed room. You sighed softly and stepped towards him.

“Please, allow me to explain myself.”

“I don’t need any further explanation. I understand your actions- you don’t trust me, none of you do.” He stated with a firm shake of his head, making you stop in your tracks.

“Loki, I can’t speak for the others, but I trust you. What I did was wrong, but I was doing what was best for the team. They wanted me to earn your trust-”

“Well, you earned more than that. Congratulations.” He said.

“If it is love that you’re speaking of, then I feel it too.” You replied and he slowly turned to you.

“Pardon me?” Loki questioned and you continued your walk to him until you were directly in front of the God.

“I love you, Loki, and I’m so sorry that I made you feel betrayed. It was never my intentions.”

“Is this the truth?” He asked and you delicately took his hands in yours. You nodded, causing a grin to form on his face. He leaned down to kiss you softly. He pulled away and whispered to you, “Good. I love you too, and it frightens me.”

“I’ll never lie to you again.”

i cannot goddamn believe sam esmail textually confirmed the subtextual homoerotic tension between tyrell and elliot. yes, it came to a head during last season’s finale when tyrell cried that he “loved” elliot to angela on the phone, but that could have easily been swept under the rug and written off in a variety of ways—platonic love, brotherly love, respect and adoration as an extension of his whole “god” complex, a symptom of tyrell’s mental illness, etc. instead, sam dedicated an entire episode to tyrell (which was a long time coming, in my opinion. he’s a dynamic character and should be used more often) and within the first few minutes had him restate his love for elliot while cupping his cheeks as if he were about to lean in for a kiss. and how does sam make elliot (mr robot) respond? “some things are better left unsaid. y’know, subtext.”

oh sam, you clever man.

not only did sam confirm that the gay subtext exists and isn’t just in the mind of the fans, he did so through his own character, almost breaking the third wall. now, there’s two ways this can go in my mind:

  1. that line was a clever nod to the many fans who have argued that tyrell had romantic feelings for elliot since the beginning. yet, mr. robot’s response is meant to be sam’s reply to those fans—that it’s better to keep things subtextual, and that’s all they’re ever going to be.
  2. tyrell and elliot’s sexual tension will cross over from subtextual to textual, possibly by season’s end.

currently i’m feeling #2. here’s why:

  • tyrell’s romantic feelings for elliot are already canon. they’re 100% textual now. i don’t know if sam planned for that since the beginning or if seeing the rami/martin chemistry and fan reaction convinced him to go there later on, but tyrell loves elliot. not platonically. not as a brother. romantically. yes, it’s inflated by tyrell’s mental illness, but it’s there. most of the time writers leave homoerotic tension untouched and relegated to the realm of subtext, or push it just enough to bait lgbt fans into thinking it’ll happen eventually. maybe the latter is happening here again, but we have the creator, writer, and director of the show directly commenting on that subtext via his own characters, confirming (again) that tyrell loves elliot, and proceededing to depict that love in ways that imply it’s of a romantic and sexual nature (tyrell almost kissing elliot, the suit and wanting to look good for him, tyrell being devastated over shooting elliot and his subsequent recovery). to me this is no longer a question of queerbaiting. maybe it’s an unrequited love story, but the love exists from at least one end. it’s textual.
  • sam seems to be setting up tyrell as the only figure close to elliot who hasn’t betrayed him—in fact, he has tyrell verbally pronounce that he’ll never betray him. the two people closest to elliot already have: angela and darlene. angela is working with robot and misleading elliot, darlene is working with the fbi and misleading elliot. both know about his mental condition and the existence of robot, and have decided to use it against him for other reasons, whether that be self preservation, for the greater good, to make positive change, etc. now that tyrell knows about robot, i’m interested to see how he responds. if he stays loyal to elliot, as he claimed he’d always be, then i can see something genuine blossoming between them—not just a one sided unhealthy infatuation/obsession from tyrell. if elliot realizes tyrell is loyal to him, especially in the face of his sister and best friend/love interest betraying him, he may come to trust tyrell for real. and from trust comes respect, friendship…and maybe love.
  • last season the romantic tension between angela and elliot finally came to a head. they kissed. feelings were made clear. however, instead of sam drawing out that storyline as most shows would since they’re the “love interests” of the show, he’s already commented on it three episodes in that flips the script entirely. elliot kisses angela. she tells him their first kiss was a mistake and doesn’t seem interested in the second. then it’s revealed she’s lying to elliot (for what she may believe will ultimately do good for them both and them all. this isn’t meant to be anti angela because i love her). clearly their romantic arc is off to a rocky start. could this be the beginning of the end of that storyline? i think it’s fascinating that we’re seeing such visceral emotion and genuine vulnerability from tyrell when it comes to his feelings for elliot, while angela, elliot’s heterosexual love interest, is calm, clinical, cold, and deceptive. angela was almost eery in the scene where tyrell was freaking out over elliot’s surgery and she was trying to calm him down. the fact that it’s angela who tells tyrell elliot’s darkest secret seems important as well—almost as if sam having her hand over the “love interest” torch to him. suddenly tyrell has become the most genuine ally elliot has on his side (genuine, not healthy, mind you), and with this newfound intimate knowledge he very may well become closer to elliot than angela or darlene can be (or want to be) at the moment.
  • both of the above have set up a possible arc that could allow for tyrelliot to develop as a genuine romantic arc, not just a one sided infatuation or queerbaiting fiasco. it still could end up one of the two, but now there seems to be a new narrative at hand that could allow for a mutual love to bloom. it may not be healthy given both elliot and tyrell’s mental states, but it feels like it could be genuine. like fucked up soul mate material.
  • last but not least, martin has always been very positive about the idea of tyrelliot, whether that be shipping it in general or wanting to kiss rami (lol). he’s still going on about it as of today. sam has been as well, just more cryptically. both are still better than what many creators do with similar pairings (“they’re just friends,” “it’s a brotherly love,” “he isn’t actually romantically interested, he’s just in it for the power trip” etc.)

basically i think there’s a good chance tyrelliot will become canon. maybe it’ll just be a kiss that goes nowhere (as angela/elliot seems to be proceeding as of now), or maybe it’ll be something more serious and mutual. i also think there’s a good chance something will happen this season.

⟶ that tuesday night | jjg | (m)

pairing: jeongguk x reader
genre:
fluff, smut
wordcount: 5k
a/n: this is a dumb pwp i have no explanation for except the support of like seven different people that encouraged me to write it. enojy a somewhat college!au jeon.

↳ your best friend finds out how much you love horror, yet you are so goddamn easy to scare. it holds the promise of an entertaining night.


“So, part two tonight?”

He grins at you over the rim of his glass filled with white wine, the usual bunny grin with his nose crinkled and eyes shining that is so incredibly hard to resist. Or maybe, it’s just the wine that you yourself have already running through your system that makes you think that way. You just shrug at him.

“I mean, sure. Why not.” He grins even wider at that, ignoring the faintest trace of hesitation that is laced into your voice. You don’t even get to sigh at his eagerness before he is already turned towards his laptop, opening google to pull up a stream that is high quality enough for his liking.

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4

A bunch of backstory art! I wanted to take some time and do some fully colored art with backgrounds for these. Mainly because I would rather do that than take ages on fully colored comics for each event, but still wanted to share them in some way. Because they are very important story events for the campaign.

I’ll be putting the descriptions under the cut, because this would be a veeeery long post if I didn’t.


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