and nothing goes right

me but instead of a pair of tits I have two dwarf faces who are constantly giving me bad advice and are the reason of why nothing goes right in my life ever

Honestly though, the most iconic thing about Much Ado About Nothing is how Benedick goes from “I can’t just kill Claudio to “I will absolutely kill him for you Beatrice babe” in the span of just one “I would eat his heart in the marketplace!”.

Help me pay my rent please :c

Hi everyone I’m back again with another post asking for money because nothing in my life goes right!

My rent is due today, and I need around £650 so that I can pay it. Send what you can to fgcopping@gmail.com please!

‘But Davie? You said you were going to be ok this month!?’ You’re sure dang right I did kiddo! I was hoping to get the deposit back from my old house which would have given me a whopping £1300 to live on, that’s almost 2 months of rent, However I did not get that money back, I got about £400 of it back, a little less, because they blamed us for some of the problems with the house (see this post here) even though they were in no way our fault, they refused to listen to reason, we could not fight them.

‘But you had £400? that’s more than half your rent’ Again sir you are correct, however we have had a large amount of bills this month charging us for the move, internet and phone bills being more than double what they usually are. On top of this I have had a HECKTON of vets bills in the past week, £300 of them in fact! Because my cat james has seriously messed up his eye and may go blind, we have more vets bills coming up for him so any spare money I have in the future will probably go towards that.

So, yeah, I need £650 towards my rent… which is actually due today.

Unfortunately I cannot say this time that this will be the last time I ask for money, coz I’m really not sure anymore. But please please can you help? Even a small amount would be so helpful. As I’ve said before if you need proof please contact me.

Again, my paypal is fgcopping@gmail.com I also have a ko.fi button on my blog if you’d prefer to help out that way. Thankyou so much!

Humans are Weird

So, I just thought of my own humans-are-the-weird-ones thing. What if humans were the only race to develop clothing and other things that are used simply to change our appearance. The other races don’t use clothing for protection from their home environments, and use vehicles for exploring non-native environments. Armor exists, but in a non-ornamental way, and generally doesn’t do much to change appearance, or is at least non-individualized. Makeup and nail polish are unknown, though tattoos and piercings are known to be used by some cultures for ranking and identification purposes and are not used ornamentally by any race other than humans. Hairstyles are not unknown, but are all generally for practical (keep it out of the way! I need insulation! I need shade!) reasons.

At first, aliens just think that there are a lot more humans than there really are, that humans that look alike with small differences are just family members, and that humans just naturally tend to be known solely by their family name. (Like, Alien “Ralph” meets Human “Bella Tailor” one day, sees her the next day in a different outfit, and thinks that he/she is meeting a relative of the human he/she met earlier, and that their family name is “BellaTailor.”)

Humans, at first, just thought that aliens were terrible at matching faces and names… and that they were apparently all nudists, but hey, who cares? Different cultures and races and all that, you know.


“Hello, BellaTailor. My name is Ralph. I believe I met your relative the other day. How is she doing?”

“I do not have a sister, Ralph. You must be mistaken.”

“That cannot be! She looks just like you, only more… pink, I believe is the correct color-word… and has your name! You must be relatives! It would be too much of a coincidence for you to not be related!”

“Where… exactly… did you meet my ‘sister’?” 

“Oh! We were on the same shuttle together. I must admit I am surprised; I thought that there was only one human on the ship’s roster.”

“Ralph, I am the human you met there. Remember how we talked about how uncomfortable those one-race-fits-all shuttle seats are?”

“But… no… you are different colors and patterns! This is a terrible joke. I wouldn’t suggest trying it on anyone else.”

“Dude, all I did was change my clothes. It’s not like I’m a whole ‘nother person, despite what commercials and such would have you believe.”

“Clothes?”

“Right… nudist… um… let me just… show you?”

Bella precedes to take off her top (not like they’ll care, they’re nudist anyway, right? eep, here goes nothing, really hope this is okay). Ralph thinks she means that they’re a race that sheds their skin, though he’s put out and puzzled over how no one mentioned that fact to anyone. After all, shedded skins can really clutter up an area, especially at the rate she seems to shed, though it could explain a few things. Bella, frustrated, puts her top back on, takes Ralph to her quarters, and shows him her clothing (which was still mostly packed due to limited storage space). Ralph finally sort-of understands, but the idea is totally trippy and weird to him.

“What did you think I brought so much luggage for?” 

“Well, I didn’t really want to pry, and your planet is… a bit… cluttered…”

*sigh* “Dude, I can’t… I just… urgh! WHY ME?!?!?!”


After many misunderstandings the aliens are brought to understand that humans can change their appearance in many ways, practically at-will. 

Then the whole issue of “camouflage” comes up. By this point, humans have developed advanced camouflage that automatically mimics the wearer’s surroundings. The other races react in various ways. Some are rather neutral about this discovery. Others are afraid. But many desire to obtain the art and secrets of “camouflage” for themselves. The earth and humans are now at the center of a conflict that borders on war - Intergalactic war. Because we’re the only race to have actually thought of camouflage. Thankfully, the other races begin to catch on before full-blown war is unleashed, but it is a very close thing.


@howtotrainyournana @crossroadsdimension Look! I came up with one! :D YAY for tired-brain-creativity! WHOOO (don’t really feel tired now, but I should be, and I know I will be when I have to wake up in four hours. :/ why does the coffee only seem to work when you actually want/need to sleep?)

anonymous asked:

Do you know any barista au? Thank you!! Love the blog btw ❤️

Hey friends, thanks for asking! Sit down, get cozy, grab a cup of coffee, and get ready for some delicious fluff and amazing writing!

Originally posted by nowhere-little-girl


Coffee Shop AU


#baristalife by fan_nerd, Mature, 9.6k
Victor, proud owner of Muse café and roastery, goes searching for a local bakery to buy sweets for his store. When he does, he finds Yutopia, a quaint little place tucked away in a small part of town. The good news is, he quickly becomes business partners with the lead patissier, Yuuri. This is an amazing fic, must read!

life and love by novocaine_sea, Gen, 12k
Twenty-two year old Yuuri Katsuki travels to Italy to study photography. One day, while going around the city taking photos he gets lost and ends up at a coffee shop, ultimately meeting one Victor Nikiforov who would take him all around Florence, showing him what life and love are really all about. Italian Victor… I mean?? I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN READING THIS

the view from the top. by realangeleren, Mature, 21k (WIP)
When Viktor gets hurt, he’s forced to take the season off. He ends up in a little town, finding himself very taken with the adorable barista in town. But the closer he gets with the cute little barista, he soon finds he might not be as far away from the ice as he thought. I love this fic so much!

Shoebox of Photographs by Yuzururu, Teen, 20k (WIP)
Unlucky culinary grad student, Katsuki Yuuri, comes to Tokyo in search of a future pursuing his cooking passions. Instead, he finds more adventure than he’s bargained for…in the form of a dog Cafe run by a certain Russian model. SO GOOD OMG

Assuming Makes An Ass Out of You and Me (or how not to find out someone is multi-lingual) by Stories_to_be_read, Gen, 2.6k
Yuuri learns to never assume that the cute guy you have a crush on doesn’t speak Japanese. LOVE!

Walls by pastelprince, Mature, 23k (WIP)
There are many walls in Victor Nikiforov’s life. After his sudden retirement, he has nothing, hears nothing, and is lonely, injured and traumatised. Nothing goes right. Until he meets a cute barista with long black hair and glasses who makes a sweet, sweet latte. Thumbs up!

Cherry Blossoms by HEClementine8, Teen, 7.6k (WIP)
“What would you like today?” A gentle, smooth voice interrupted his reading. Viktor closed his phone and opened his mouth to order as he looked up. The words died in his throat and he felt like he was just punched in the gut when all the air in his lungs suddenly deserted him. There was a goddamn angel in front of him. LOOOVEEE!!!

here’s to the fools by MissSpock, Teen, 3.9k
In which Victor is an actor with a 1000 watt smile and Yuuri is the cute barista of the cafe across the lot from the film company where he works. Highly recommend!

Iced Coffee by luciferwearsprada, Gen, 4.8k (WIP)
In which Yuuri and Phichit work at the Yu-topia coffee shop, Viktor loves Yuuri’s cookies (that’s not a euphemism), Guang Hong is a sweet cinnamon roll, JJ is that one hetero friend, and Otabek terrifies almost everyone. cAN YOU HEAR MY SCREAMS

matcha cookie monstrosity by lunaetude, Gen, 1.6k
Pretty Eyes pulls out an entire can of Monster Energy. ‘Could I get four shots of espresso, two pumps of matcha syrup, and this entire can.’
‘…Are you sure you want that, sir.’ Just read this, it’s so fluffy!

Coffee And Contemplation by TheGabbing, Teen, 15k (WIP)
Yuuri expected to be tired, deal with rude customers every day, and study every second of his free time but what he didn’t expect was his life-long idol to walk through the doors. Definitely recommend!

Just Ask Him Out Viktor by down_into_underland, Teen, 1.6k
Viktor is a business man who has just recently moved to America with his adoptive son, Yuri Plitsetsky. Everything is as normal as it could be for Viktor when he walks into a new coffee shop to see the man of his dreams. Amazing!

sugary sweet by kevincriesblood (The_Messenger_of_Olympus), Explicit, 5.8k (WIP)
Katsuki Yuuri works at a coffee shop. Unfortunately, it is a coffee shop that happens to be his idol’s favorite. He regularly sees the vlogger he has posters of, which he’s not sure if that’s good or bad. Yuuri also has a not safe for work blog that he updates, with a rather sweet, odd anon. Sweet!

Bitter Coffee by koukkai, Teen, 1k
In which Yuuri works at a coffee shop and Viktor scores a date with the cute barista. Cute!

For You{3}[Jeff Atkins]

Request: Can i request a Jeff Atkins imagine where hes like a badboy but when Y/N is the new girl at Liberty and Clay takes her under his wing, Jeff feels the need to protect her and be good for her? And then at a party he sees Monty and Y/N flirting so he gets wasted and Y/N ends up taking him to her house and taking care of him and he drunkenly confesses his softy feelings for her?

Pairing:bad boy!Jeff Atkins x fem!reader

A/N:Thank you so much for still being here,reading “For You”!I love you all<3-M

tags: im-a-fandom-slut    @gamesandremixes     @shamless-wolfies     @leviathan-cas-05   writing-in-riverdale     k-illdarlings   

vszzsv     deanilostmyshoe

part 1     part 2     part 4     part 5

Originally posted by jeffreysatkins


She wasn’t sure of what she wanted to do first.Yell at him?Slap him?Interrogate him?She didn’t know if it was justified for her to be angry.Because everyone knew that Moty wasn’t one of the best people out there.Maybe Jeff was just trying to protect her!But still,it was so stupid of him to act that way because him and Y/N weren’t even friends.It was all too much.That boy had no chill.

And when she was finally standing in front of him,boiling in anger,her hands turned into fists, she couldn’t help but notice how drunk he was.Why had he done that to himself?Was it because of her?No,no that would be so wrong.

“What the hell is your problem Jeff?”She shouted and pushed him back.

Jeff didn’t stumble.He didn’t even move an inch.He just winked and gave her an innocent smile.A smile that Y/N had never seen before.It was like he was telling her that everything was okay.If the situation hadn’t been like that,she definitely  would have smiled back.

Y/N couldn’t form any words.He was playing with her.He found it funny.Making a scene and hurting a person was a joke to Jeff Atkins.He was impossible.At that moment,even spending a minute to talk to him seemed useless.She immediately regreted coming to him and his friends,who by the way,were focused on Moty and his bloody mouth.

“You know what?I am so sick of your behavior towards me!Whenever i walk by you always throw angry glances at me like i did something horrible to you!I never did!Yesterday, you yelled at me,calling me annoying in front of everyone!And i believed it!I let your stupid  words sink in and affect me!And now you just punch Moty like it means nothing to you because we were having a conversation?Why Jeff?Why?Why me?”

She was crying.She told herself that she’d never let it happen.But nothing always goes as planned,right?Her voice was shaking while she spoke.She wished she had stayed at home.She would have called Clay to come over and watch a movie.They would have eaten pizza and having to confront Jeff would just be an event in another parallel universe.

Jeff was just standing there,listening to every word she said.His smile had faded completely.There was a huge frown on his face and he was constantly biting the inside of his cheek.Emotions started flooding him.He could finally see what had gone wrong;his approach.

Whoever was out of the house that night had witnessed everything.Moty and Jeff’s friends were all shockingly watching Y/N slowly break.

The girl didn’t know she had drawn attention.Only when she took a look around her,did she realize.She coucln’t take the pressure any longer.Dazed as she was,she just felt the need to leave.For good.She didn’t expect a proper response from Jeff.She didn’t care anymore.

“There’s only one thing i want from you Atkins.And that is to never bother me again.Ever.” She said steadily.She had started to calm down.Wiping away her tears and shaking her head in dissapointment,she turned around and started walking away;it was time for her to go home.

She didn’t dare to look back.She didn’t want to.Jeff Atkins was an ass and she regreted liking him even the slightest.Her home wasn’t too far from Jessica’s but it seemed like she had been walking for hours.Suddenly,hearing someone yelling her name,made her frozed dead in her tracks.She knew who it was.And instead of running,she just stood there,immobile.

“Y/N,i made a mistake,please let me explain!” Jeff came running from behind her and stopped right in front of her cold body.He looked,sad,almost broken.

“Jeff,just go back to the party.I’m pretty sure there are many girls begging for you to even look at them.” She said in a low voice,avoiding his gaze.

“But there’s only one girl i want to look at and that’s you!” He said and gave her a weak smile that she didn’t return.

Her stomach started flipping.She felt like she couldn’t breathe.Every single word coming from his mouth were like knives,they were stabbing her slowly and torturously.

“You’re drunk Jeff,you don’t know what you’re saying.”She said and tried to push past him but he didn’t let her.

“Drunk words are sober thoughts,sweetheart..” He winked at her but she didn’t react.She was done for the night.Jeff Atkins was just a pain in the neck.

“Will you walk me home?I’m sure you don’t want a drunk man being in the middle of the road all alone at night,i could be hit by a car or something…”

Y/N bit her lip.He was right.Jeff was a pain in the ass but she wouldn’t let him stumble here and there alone.She cared so freaking much.More that he’d ever know.

“Fine.“

NurseyWeek Prompt #1 - Silence/Mistake. Um, kind of. Got a bit off track.          ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Dex tromps into the Haus, slamming the door shut and tossing his bag haphazardly on the floor, kicking it out of the way as he passes. He’s scowling, which, frankly, isn’t that unusual, but his expression has an edge of something that tugs at Derek. Dex doesn’t even spare him a glance as he flops down at the other end of the couch with an exasperated growl, tipping his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. Silence fills the space between them for a moment.

“So, how was your day?” Derek asks.

“Fuck off.”

“Yeah, mine was good, too.”

“Fuck. Off.”

Derek scans the defeated slope of Dex’s body as it’s sprawled over the couch, frowning to himself. Huh. He drops the fake cheer from his voice and puts his notebook down on the end table behind him.

“Dex, hey. What happened?” he asks, voice softer now, quiet even in the relative silence of the Haus mid-day. Dex cracks one amber eye open and gives him a look, squinting semi-suspiciously at him. Derek waits him out, tilting his head and trying to look open for conversation.

Keep reading

Daddy Dearest-William Nylander

Anon request: Could you do a William Nylander where you used to date and a few years later he find out you had a kid belonged to him?

This one was hard to write and I started it over multiple times but I’m pretty proud of the final product! Also I love me some William Nylander so I was all for it. 

Warnings: none

Word count: 2058

Originally posted by mapleleafmarner

Keep reading