and need to remind myself of this event

Let’s talk for a bit, because I’ve known about this for a while and I think now’s a good time to explain how I feel about using music not originally written for OC’s. This might be a lengthy read, because it’s personal. This vid was one of the first to use Tokyovania as Ink Sans’ theme.

I absolutely love when music can be associated with a character. I think it’s magical when a track makes you think of something you love or enjoy, and I love seeing messages or comments that I track I wrote would fit someone’s OC, because it feels special. Originally, this video was meant to be a tribute, with my track as the proposed theme, and I didn’t worry about it. After all, I didn’t write Tokyovania for Ink Sans, I wrote it for personal reasons, and I was sure most would understand that.

After a few months, it started to catch on for some reason that this indeed was written for him. A few other tribute vids were posted, and my name was nowhere to been seen as the artist of the track. On some videos, the name was also changed to Inklovania. The “Tokyo” was just erased, on a song containing the melody of “Tokyo Teddy Bear”, an incredibly special track I adored in 2014-2015. 

Back then I was in high school. It was me against the world, and I had two friends. Things became rough around September in 2015, and I’ll keep the events hidden because they’re not something I need a reminder of. By December I was alone, and I had nowhere to turn but to music. I walled myself off and focused on composing, and being quietly alone all the time eventually led to the idea of Undertronic.

It was around this time that I decided to compose a remix of Tokyo Teddy Bear, as it’s a song I associate with wishing I could be anywhere else when things aren’t great. Seeing as I was also remixing Undertale at the time, I thought I’d combine it with another track, as a particular character was also in the same situation as I was, in terms of emotion.

In short, it was a special little remix to me and it would stay that way until Ink Sans became involved. Like I mentioned, I love when others use my music for OC’s, but I started to realize there was something wrong when I was accused of stealing this theme from Ink Sans, that it solely belonged to him, that I didn’t write it and I was a terrible person.

And the list goes on and was almost constant. To many, I’ve been disregarded as the artist of the track because “It doesn’t matter who wrote it,” and nothing hurts more to a musical artist than having a personal song be taken, even accidentally, from you and it suddenly becomes something else. The meaning behind the song no longer matters, and no matter what I do, this song will always be known as his theme. 

It feels like a inconceivable back-stab knowing that literally millions believe this is his theme. I don’t even want to know how many would believe I stole the track from an OC, as if an actual artist doesn’t exist and the track magically created itself. Months went by, then a year went by, and I was very bitter about this track and the accusations I kept receiving. Finally I decided to write a response, and this response was “Tokyovania Control.”

I wrote in the description that I didn’t like the old Tokyovania. This is only partially true. I loved it for what it represented to me, I hated it for how I was being treated because of it.

If you may have noticed, I included new lyrics for Tokyovania Control. It was a slightly hidden, but direct message to how I felt, and it started at 0:53. Breakdown of the meaning is in the brackets.

How’d I get this feeling?  [How’d it come to this?]
I am running from this beauty,  [I am running from Tokyovania.]
Misunderstood or  [It’s been misunderstood what the track is about.]
Whom it’s made for?  [Who was the track made for? Even I’m not sure now.]
There’s no purpose,  [The song has lost its original meaning.]
Words are worthless.  [Explaining/arguing won’t do anything.]
Well, it’s still charming.  [I still adore the track though. It was special to me.]
I’d say “Sorry.”  [Sorry, it was my mistake to let harsh words harm me.]
“My mistake to let it harm me.”
“Pardon my writing.”  [Pardon my music, I’m sorry I got in your way, I should be thankful that this track is loved right? Indeed I am selfish for believing my name should be next to Tokyovania.]
Though it hurts, it still sounds special taken from me,
“Heh, oh well.”  [Though it hurts, Tokyovania still sounds special taken from me. There’s nothing I can do now, so oh well.]

It was hidden well, and I didn’t expect anyone to catch on. And I was right, no one figured out why these lyrics were added or what they meant.

So no, I still don’t mind when a track I write is used for an OC’s theme. I only mind when I become non-existent as the producer, because “Who cares who wrote it, just enjoy the music.” I also mind when I am repeatedly told my work doesn’t belong to me, and I’m a horrible person for stealing a theme that belongs to an OC.

It’s one of the reasons I tend to include signature melodies in my music now. I don’t want to be forgotten or disassociated with my work. I don’t want to be told I don’t deserve to be the artist. Is it annoying? To some it is, but it’s a hell of a lot better than going through another Tokyovania situation. Having a track recognized by millions as an OC’s theme scares me much more than having someone simply steal the track, and nothing is worse to a musician than being repeatedly told my work doesn’t belong to me anymore, it belongs to an OC, and I’m scum for thinking otherwise.

I suppose what I’m trying to say, is be careful when you decide to pick songs to represent OC’s or AU’s. You may think no harm will be done, but it’s impossible to tell if something will take off. I don’t think this has ever been discussed before. I haven’t seen any musicians write about this, or share their thoughts. But I am friends with many of the Undertale remixers, and it’s sad to see that this has also been happening to one of my best friends Kamex with his “Your Best Friend” remix:

His music is gorgeous. He’s so kind & doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. If the remix is titled “Undertale Remix”, that does not mean it is an AU Remix. It is a remix for Undertale. But because this theme was used in an AU theme compilation video, the track apparently belongs to Underfresh. Again, no artist apparently exists and track magically created itself. Even worse, he feels he needs to prove it, so far as to say he has the project files if he needs to show it. To some, he’s not even respected as the producer. If you understand how I feel with Tokyovania, you can imagine how he feels as well.

Even Inktale’s creator recognizes Tokyovania as a theme for Ink, though it’s probably accidental.

Which makes me feel even more guilty, because I hate bringing people down. And knowing this wasn’t written for the AU will probably be a disappointing let-down.

So that’s about it, I thought I might as well share my thoughts, now that it’s almost been a year since this has been going on.

On another note, I’ve been working on something for Dusttale and Outertale. The Dusttale track will probably be the next vid, I dunno.

[Edit: I took a look to see if there were any comments marked as held for review, and the first one I find is-]

[The word choice gets more colorful in there.]

anonymous asked:

Thank you for your amazing blog. Can I make a request where they not dating, but MC needs somebody to pretend as her bf/gf for a party or a meeting and asks RFA and Saeran for help? And during that pretending they understand that they have feelings for MC.

Hahaha yes, this is the kind of request I would ask myself, I love this romantic comedy’s situations so much! <3
So I did as mini-fics, because I obviously got carried away, I hope you all enjoy this!

RFA + Saeran pretending to date MC

Zen

“Think of it as a chance to show your impressive acting skills, Zen.” That was the winning argument to convince him to pretend to be your boyfriend during the rehearsal dinner of your brother’s wedding. As much as you love your brother, it’s extremely annoying when he and other family members start teasing you for still being single. And the comparisons about your lives are so mean. Just imagine now that he’s getting married with this almost perfect lady.

“Well, the perfect boyfriend is a role I haven’t tried yet… I’ll accept this challenge, MC, although it would be like playing myself…” you giggle. It was a weird request, but you have been so nice to everybody in RFA, how could he say “no” to a friend in need? Plus, he loves weddings!

Okay, not this one so much. Why is everybody so snob? He’s waiting for Jumin Han to show up at any moment, this event suits him really well! Now he gets why you wouldn’t want to endure this by yourself, you’re so… different from all of this. You’re bubbly and spontaneous, adorably clumsy…  he grins reminding you chugging a beer can and making a funny face because of the bitter taste a couple of days ago at his apartment.

“Brother, this is Zen, my… boyfriend.” You introduce them to each other.

“Call me Hyun, she usually does when we’re alone.” And he smiles at you, holding your hand. Okay, no need to imply sexual stuff here, but if it will convince your brother…

“You’re an actor, right? I recognize you! How much did she pay you to hire you?” you shiver, he is… almost right there… how can he be so smart? Ugh…

Zen smiles, but inside he wants to tell your brother to go to hell. Is this the kind of thing you say to your sister’s boyfriend? Well… he’s not really your boyfriend, but… that’s really mean! He’s basically implying Zen’s a gigolo, but worst of it, he’s insulting you telling you wouldn’t be able to date someone without paying for it. Zen knows you enough to tell you could captivate any person’s heart if you really wanted to! Yes, your ability to do whatever you want so freely is something he really admires about you. No, he can’t let you be treated like this.

“She pays me with her beautiful smile and the gloss in her enchanting eyes everytime she watches my performances. You would know if you paid more attention to your sister instead of trying to make her feel down. My brother wasn’t nice to me, and maybe I deserved it. But she doesn’t, so be nice to her before she decides to run away like I did… come on, MC. Let’s dance!” he tights the grip on your hand and drags you to the dance floor, you and your brother look at each other, he’s shocked and you’re like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You two are on the dance floor, one of his hands on your back, the other one holding yours. Why did that come from? It’s been years he doesn’t think about his brother… something about seeing the sweetest person he knows doesn’t getting the treatment she deserves stirred something inside him. You’re looking at him very curious, gosh, your eyes are really glossy… it’s so hot in here… “S-Sorry if I crossed a line there. He’s your brother after all and…” he feels running out of air when you rest your head on his chest. You must look like a real couple, your brother is probably looking. Yes… that’s why you’re doing this after all, right? 

“Thank you for having my back, Hyun. You’re such a great actor.” Acting? Oh… yeah, he was acting, right? But why does he feel out of character right now?  


Yoosung

This is bad! This is really bad! What is he doing here? Why did he even agree to this? “Please, Yoosung, pleeeeease. You’re the only one I trust to do this.” Oh yeah, that’s why… you begged him over the phone, and something about trusting him to play your boyfriend made him feel so manly and confident. You could have asked Zen or Jumin, but you chose HIM! You thought he would be a good boyfriend to introduce to your friend who was in town for that night. He is such a good friend, but he’s been teasing you about your relationships since high school. According to him, every guy you date end up arrested or in rehab… This is getting old, really…

“Well… I’ll probably never end up in jail or rehab, MC… so, if you insist so much… why… why not?” you gave him such a tight hug, and he felt his whole face burning. You smelled so good that day… and you smell even greater today at this weird country bar…

“This is my boyfriend, Yoosung. He is a vet student.” You introduce him, the guy shakes his hand firmly, what’s with you and your friend to have such a tight grip? Well, at least yours was really gentle…

“College? But you look like you’re 16, dude! I was going to say MC is such a cougar!” he blushes. Oh god… this guy isn’t buying this at all! He would feel so bad for not being convincing after the way you begged him for doing this.

“Well, MC looks really young too, so I guess we look like a sweet sixteen couple.” You giggle and put your hand over his. “Hah, what did I tell you? Isn’t he adorable?” “I guess…” the guy shrugs, but he doesn’t mind, he can only focus on the warmth from your smooth hand.

You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, and the guy sits on your chair. “Back off, dude! She’s mine!” “Wh-What?” “It is what it is, she dated all those bad guys and eventually she’ll notice I’m the only one good enough for her. Back off before you end up hurt!” Was that a threat? “MC… MC can choose whoever she wants, I won’t back off if she really likes me!” but she doesn’t, this is just play pretend… no, forget it! This dude is an asshole! You can’t be with someone like this! You deserve better! Maybe not him, but… definitely not this guy.

“Hey, gentlemen, what did I miss?” you come back, but the tension is still there… “Nothing much, your boyfriend here was telling me he wants to ride the mechanical bull over there…” “What? Really, Yoosung?” “I… I…” “What’s the problem, boy? Are you scared?” this asshole’s smirk, ugh… “I’ll show you scared!” he gets up and gives his name to the guy who controls the machine.

How did he get the guy to manipulate him like that? Ugh… both you and him are watching this, and he’s so close to you… ASSHOLE! Oh, this was such a bad idea! Such a bad ide… oh no! The bull is moving! The bull is moving!!!

3 seconds, that’s what it took for Yoosung to hit his face on the upper part of the mechanical bull and fall. You promptly run to him.

“Holy shit, Yoosung! Are you okay?” he can’t tell you how much it hurts… so he smiles, and you look shocked. “Yoosung, your… your tooth!” “Whath? Whath’s wronc wif my toof?” Oh… now he feels, actually, he doesn’t feel! Where is one of his incisors?

“I’m so sorry I dragged you to this, Yoosung. I feel so bad!” “Don’th worry, MC. Ith was my idhea anyway. I hope your frrriend isn’t madh or anyfing.” “Ugh, forget him, I couldn’t stand his hissy fit! Can you believe he wanted me to just let you here alone on the dentist and hang out with him? What an asshole!” he smiles when he hears that, but he shouldn’t be smiling, this is so embarrassing!

You go with him to the dentist’s office, and noticing he’s a little scared, hold his hand. He looks at you and you whisper. “Don’t need to be afraid, I’m here…”
He isn’t afraid of the dentist (well, maybe a little…), what’s really scaring him is how much his heart is pounding due to your hand on his, but he’s the one tightening the grip.


Jaehee

“MC, I don’t know how to play mini-golf!” she told you over and over, but did you listen? “It doesn’t matter! I do! I just need someone to make me company!” well, making you company it’s totally different than pretending to be your girlfriend… “Yeah, but my friend and his boyfriend keep teasing me for being bi and just dating guys, I hate it!”

Well, that’s really douchy of them, why would you hang out with people who put your sexuality in debate like this? No, she needs to protect you and maybe teach them a thing or two! That’s the least she could do after you helping her to leave C & R and starting her own business.

“This is Jaehee, my girlfriend.” You introduce her, she shakes their hands as if they’re business partners.

“Oh, you’re so formal! I thought MC had hired an assistant.” Seriously, how douchy! Why such a sweet girl like you hang with people like this? “So ladies, shall we play?”

She is so bad at this! Why did you ask her to do this? “Here, I’ll show you!” you come behind her and put your hands on hers. What’s… what’s happening? Your hair fall on her shoulders… it smells so good… focus, Jaehee! Focus!

“Hey, you can’t help, MC!” “Oh, on which paragraph of the strict regulation of mini-golf is this written?” Jaehee chuckles. Okay, so maybe you know how to defend yourself, you and your friend probably have this kind of feisty friendship… but still, not cool of him to doubt your sexuality, she didn’t forget that!

You can easily compensate for her lack of ability, and it’s so good to watch you play. Your focused eyes, the huge smile you put on when the ball falls in the hole, and even your disappointed face for missing, it’s just… hypnotizing!
“Hey, girl, focus! If you keep distracted like this, she’ll dump you for another guy!” “Fuck you!” you yell, she feels her blood boiling. What… a… douche! She’s not distracted! She got this! Bring it on!

The ball travels painfully slow, or is she seeing this on slow motion? This isn’t the decisive shot yet, but she really wants to hit it! She wants you to feel proud of her! It spins around the hole boarders, one turn… two turns… and the ball doesn’t fall in the hole. Crap!

“Ha! Good luck next time, sweety!” “Dude, you don’t need to be this douchy!” you reprehend him. “What? Did I hurt your precious girlfriend? Jesus, MC, you’ve been so sensitive today. I changed my mind, I liked you more when you dated boys.” “Good, so no reason for us to keep hanging out, then. Goodbye.” You grab her hand and walk away. Oh wow… she thought she would have to be the one to say something, but apparently, you can take care of yourself! Yes, you’re the one who taught her to don’t be around places and people who only hurt you, obviously you would know how to do this by yourself. You’re so strong!

“Do you want to keep playing without them?” she asks, she doesn’t want this, huh, date (?) to end. “Yeah, sure! I’ll show you one of my tricks, come here!”
And there you are behind her again, teaching her how to swing it properly, your arms around her, your body so close. She feels bad, actually, you are showing her everything you know, but she’s not absorbing anything, she can only focus on your breathing on her back.


Jumin
“Oh, come on… I bet you heard a million times how much of boyfriend material you are, Jumin.” “I… didn’t really know what this means, MC.” “It means you’re the son-in-law every mother would like her daughter to be with.” He was so reluctant about it, why would you ask him? You could have asked Zen or Seven, who like to pretend a lot.

“It’s just… my mom is… how can I say? Huh… a cat mom too?” What do you mean by “too”? Oh okay, now he gets it, Zen is allergic and can’t be around cats, and Seven is a cat abuser, none of them would cause a good impression on your mother who’s been trying to introduce you to a guy she thinks would be a good suitor for you. God, she has no chill! Doesn’t she get it you don’t want to get married now?

So he agrees, you’re such a hardworker preparing for the party and taking care of everybody in RFA, including him. You’re kinda like V, but sweeter and… funnier, and, well, your looks are better too.

“Mom, that’s Jumin Han, my boyfriend. And that princess here is Elizabeth the 3rd.” yes, you insisted on bringing Elizabeth, how could he decline when you consider even Elizabeth an RFA member?

“Hum… you seem rich. Finally you’re coming to your senses and looking for a wealth husband, huh?” that’s… rude! Not even his father, who doesn’t seem to care about these boundaries, would say something like this to him.

“With all due respect, madam, your daughter keeps telling you her lack of interest in getting married, you should start respecting her wishes. I have a deep respect for family, but I don’t think parents should force their children on something they don’t want to do just because they know the children would do it due to all the respect they have. I believe what I’m trying to say is, don’t use of misfeasance on your daughter, she’s smart and caring, and… although every man would be lucky to have her as his wife, if she doesn’t want it, her wishes should be respected.” Wow… where did all this come from? Not even he can believe his own… eloquence talking about you.

“I hope this isn’t your excuse to stall her, boy.” “My intentions with you daughter are truly serious, just know I respect her… a lot.” He knows you’re looking at him, he wouldn’t dare to look at you right know, though, your eyes are something he doesn’t know how to handle, for some reason.

“Well, your head him, ma. Come on, Jumin, let me show you the other cats.” You grab his wrist, your hand is so soft… and warm and… what’s happening? He feels his arm melting from your touch.

“Hey, thanks for having my back. I knew I asked the right person.” “Because I like cats?” “That too, but… I knew you’re reasonable enough to put some senses on my mom’s head, you said I am smart and caring, but you’re even more caring than you think, you know that?” oh… so he was always your first option on this? He feels… honored, and really comfortable about being so reliable to you. He would feel sad if you found out that it’s not that he is caring, it’s just… he really cares about you…


Saeyoung

“So, wait, let me get this straight: you want me to join you on a karaoke bar with your crazy cousin?” “Yeah, but how do you know he’s crazy?” “Hello…” “Oh yeah, background check…” “BINGO! I saw his posts on your timeline, he’s a… whack nut, huh?” “Yeah, so I thought you could really get along…” “OUCH!”

He pretended he was offended, but he was really down for this. The guy seems fun, karaokes are fun, you’re basically his favorite person in the whole world, why not? So what if he had to pretend to be your boyfriend? It wasn’t uncomfortable, actually it was… it was… the greatest mission 707 has ever been assigned! Yes, Defender of Justice will protect the most amazing lady from the handful cousin who has been in love for you since you were little kids and doesn’t get it that dating relatives is kinda weird! He won’t be the boyfriend you need, he will be the boyfriend you deserve! Or… something like this…

“This is Saeyoung, my boyfriend!” you introduce him. His hand shake is firm, too firm, actually… ouch, he’s hurting his hand!

“I see you have a thing for gingers, huh, MC?” oh yeah, he’s redhead too… sorta, his hair looks dyed.

“Well, MC is so unique and amazing, it’s kinda obvious she would fall for someone who’s among 1% of human population, you know… NATURAL gingers.” He smirks, and the guy shoots dagger with his eyes. Saeyoung puts his arm around your shoulder and kiss your head, oh, that was good… can he do this again?

“So, MC… remember the song we used to sing every family reunion? I was John Travolta, you’re Olivia Newton John, and we talked about those summer nights…” “Oh yeah, so tacky, right?” Saeyoung holds back the need to yell an “OUCH!”

“Well, I think it’s kinda romantic! Right, dude? Aren’t you romantic?” “Oh… huh, I’m more like the playful and teasing type…” Yes… if you were looking for romance, Saeyoung wouldn’t be the best suitor… did you want someone romantic? “Well, the MC I know it’s all about romance…” yeah, Saeyoung also could get that vibe from you…he know he isn’t suitable for you after all, but… why does it bother him so much?

“So… MC, do you want to sing “Summer Nights”? For old time’s sake? “A-Actually, I… I would like to sing something.” Saeyoung gets up quickly. “You do?” you ask, curiosity dancing in your eyes. “Yeah, just watch me!” he kisses your head again, why can’t he stop doing this?

“Yes, good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I dedicate this song to my adorable girlfriend. MC, this one is for you!” you were waiting for some cheesy ballad, and can’t hold your shocked face when he choose “I believe in a thing called Love” by The Darkness. He sings all the falsettos and even does some air guitar, you have no idea how to react, but… it’s impossible not to smile.
Judging from your cousin’s face, he totally got the message. Although Saeyoung isn’t sure what is the message, actually. All he cares about is the hug you give him when he gets down the stage.

“Is this romantic enough for you?” “I couldn’t care less about romance, this is just my cousin blinded by love. Anyway… mission accomplished, agent 707. You should win a medal for all the services you did!”

A mission… right… this was just a mission. He always felt relieved after his missions were over, that’s the only one he doesn’t want to be dismissed.


Saeran

“Listen to me, no matter how much I beg, how much I plead, you can’t let me try any move on him, you got it?” “Yeah, yeah… I got it, you don’t need to repeat this again!” your ex-boyfriend is single again, you never forgot him, and everything started spinning when he invited you for some drinks, but… you know how much of a fuckboy he can be. You have your pride! You have your dignity! You have Saeran as your most honest friend, so you know he’s the only one capable of making you stay away from the guy. And hopefully, keeping the guy away from you by pretending to be your boyfriend.

Why would he say yes to such a lame idea? Can’t you deal with your own shit like the grown ass woman you are? Well, it’s been a while since he doesn’t leave his brother’s house, and if it is with you, he feels more comfortable. Also, your whining was annoying him. Okay, not annoying, more like… persuading him…

“Hey, this is Saeran, my boyfriend!” you’re hesitant about holding his hand. Will this be convincing if you don’t really have much of physical contact?
“Nice to meet you, bro. Hey! Hold her tight, or I’ll be ready to snatch her away!” you blush… OH HELL NO! You can’t be possibly falling for this! Saeran wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you closer, staring at the guy.

“Good luck trying.” You’re so close, why do you smell so good? Shit, did you put all this perfume for this guy? Ugh… that’s so lame!

The night goes on, he notices the subtle flirt between you two. This dude really is a fuckboy, making moves on a girl who’s already taken and… well, okay, not technically, but still… he’s a player! And you can be silly most of the times, but you’re not that dumb! Saeran knows you’re not! That brave girl who’s been helping him with therapy can’t fall for these cheap moves!

But he gotta say, you flirting is… kinda cute, the way you bounce your hair and smile playfully, yes… this isn’t for him, though. And it’s bothering him!
“Hey, h-ho-honey, can I talk to you for a second? Alone!” you nod a ‘yes’ and you two get close to the door. “Let’s get out of here!”

“What? Why? No, I’m having fun!” “Exactly, and you shouldn’t have, right?” “Please, Saeran, pleeeeease, let’s stay!” “Sorry, I have direct orders to not give in to your pleading.” You get mad: “Fine! I’ll go back by myself!” you turn your back on him, only to look at you ex talking with this other girl.

Saeran’s arm is around you again, now leading you out of there. You’re not crying, thank God! But you look really hurt, and he hates that!

“Wait! Are you seriously sad over this guy who doesn’t give a shit about you? I thought you were smarter, MC.” Great, now you’re crying! Good job, Saeran!
“Hey, don’t… don’t cry. I… don’t know what to tell you, but…” you hug him, your alluring perfume is all over him now. “Do you mind if we stay like this for a while? You don’t have to say anything, just… stay like this…” “Okay, I guess…”
This is weird… so fucking weird! He never touched someone like this before… is he doing it right? Is it supposed to be this good?

anonymous asked:

Prompt: 'I wish I was beside you' / ziam ❤️

Thank you for the prompt anon and sorry it took so long to fill it.


Liam was tossing and turning, not able to get comfortable even though the bed he was in was practically made to his form around his body perfectly. He was exhausted, his head and eyes aching. His day was busy, meetings and recording, basking in the sun of Los Angeles when he got a moment free to eat. All in all it was a productive and positive day. Now though, the clock on the bedside table was yelling at him, telling him that it was late and he should be sleeping. He couldn’t. Something felt off, not quite right. He’d slept alone plenty of times, especially on the tour bus and hotel rooms. Why couldn’t he sleep in his own bed? It was obviously a no brainer for Liam. Something was missing, someone was missing. Someone who was over five thousand miles away. Someone who was probably still sleeping or already waking up and starting their day. Liam sighed as he thought over his options.  

The first option was to head to the gym around the corner and work out until he fell asleep, he’d done it numerous times before. A couple of rounds of boxing or run a few miles on the treadmill usually tired him out. The people that worked the front desk knew him by now, knew that he was only there because he couldn’t sleep. They just smiled politely as he dragged himself in. Liam’s second option was swallowing his pride and pick up the phone and make the phone call he was avoiding. Not avoiding for bad reasons, just avoiding because he didn’t want to look desperate. But he was, he was desperate to sleep. He needed to hear the familiar voice that lulled him to sleep for close to seven years now. A voice that during the early years was filled with stories of home and hoped and dreams. A voice that eventually turned into a mans voice, who still spoke of home but now with sadness instead of joy. A voice that now isn’t sad about home anymore, not much anyway. His home was now Liam, anywhere that he was with Liam was home.

“Bloody embarrassing,” Liam muttered to himself as he blindly grabbed for his phone. The light from his phone temporarily blinded him as he punched in his passcode and pressed call on number that was simply saved under a heart emoji. “Such a child, Liam.”

“‘Ello?”

“Hi,” Liam sighed after his call was picked up. “Umm were you sleeping?”

“Just woke up,” he replied with a well timed stifled yawn. “Got meetings and whatnot today, was told to get up early.”

“Good, good,” Liam responded, rather cold and calculated sounding. Shocking himself a little.

“Liam,” he sighed. “Babe, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“I can’t sleep, I miss you,” he easily gave in with a sigh. “It just doesn’t feel right without you, Zed.”

“I wish I was beside you,” Zayn whispered softly into the phone. He was still laying in bed himself, the ringing phone actually waking him up and not his alarm. He just didn’t have it in him to tell Liam the truth, especially after hearing his voice.

“Me too,” he sniffled, trying horribly to hide his emotion.

“Soon,” Zayn assured him. “Two more nights and then we’ll be together for weeks on end that you’ll get sick of me, babe. Promise.”

“Not possible,” Liam laughed. “I feel like a knob, calling you because I can’t sleep. It’s like asking my mum for a bedtime story at night.”

“Liam, stop being ridiculous,” he told him firmly, shuffling in their bed. Their bed. It just seemed so empty without Liam next to him, always did really. He could sympathize with Liam’s struggle, it was always hard to sleep without his love next to him. “We’ve been lucky to be next to each other for close to seven years, distance sucks.”

Liam shifted on the bed, trying to make himself as comfortable as possible. He had enough room to spread out but he chose to stick close to his side of the bed, leaving Zayn’s side practically untouched. “Tell me a story.”

“A story?” Zayn laughed. “Like once upon a time?”

“We use to stay up until the sun rose while on tour just talking,” Liam reminded him, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand that wasn’t holding the phone. “I miss that. I miss hearing stories about your life.”

“You know all about my life,” he playfully scoffed, but decided to pacify him anyway. “Did I ever tell you the story about when I first saw you?”

“At McDonald’s, yeah,” Liam answered.

“No,” he replied. “During 2008, your first try on the show.”

“You watched me?” Liam shrieked, half in embarrassment and the other half in horror.

“Babe, it was the biggest show on the earth and I was supposed to audition that year too. I wanted to scope out who I was gonna compete against,” he explained, sitting up against the headboard, his fingers dancing along the white comforter. “But I saw you and you blew me away. So young and so talented. I was glad I didn’t let my mum drag me down to audition.”

“You would’ve blown the judges away, Zed,” Liam told him confidently. “Your voice is bloody brilliant.”

“This isn’t about me,” he gently reminded Liam. “I saw you and just wanted to keep watching you. Mum and dad both looked at each other after you auditioned and nodded in agreement that you had what it took to win. Young but a powerful voice.”

“You remember all of this?” Liam asked in astonishment. Zayn was easily recalling events from almost nine years ago with such ease.

“I do. I remember thinking to myself I needed to find you after Simon let  you go,” Zayn continued with a sigh. “I wanted to protect you, tell you that everything was going to be okay and that you had nothing to fear.”

“I was gutted,” Liam recalled. “Absolutely gutted. Going back to school was rough and torture.”

“I wanted to go to Wolverhampton and find Liam Payne. The boy with an amazing voice but questionable fashion and hair choices,” Zayn laughed at Liam’s gasp of shock. “I wanted to find him and show him the world.”

“You didn’t have a passport until you joined the group,” Liam laughed.

“Semantics Liam, semantics,” Zayn scoffed at the comment. “I just wanted to tell that boy that everything was going to be okay. One bad outcome shouldn’t mold his future. Things were eventually going to be okay.”

“And two years later they were,” Liam sighed, stifling another yawn. He was finally fighting sleep, exhausted but not wanting to hang up on Zayn just yet. “Auditioned again and met you lot.”

“And the rest is history,” Zayn finished for him. “Got to meet the love of my life in bloody fast food restaurant.”

Liam smiled fondly at that memory. It was small group of the boys who auditioned grabbing a bite to eat in between rehearsals and whatnot. Aiden recognized Liam and invited him to sit with them. The rest was history. Zayn got lost in Liam, his stories and small smiles and blushes when someone complimented him or mentioned the series from two years before. The rest of the group and room was blur, Zayn and Liam getting lost in their own little world. Just talking on and on about music, comics, and life. It was the best unofficial first date of their entire lives.

“Go to sleep, love,” Zayn told him as Liam once again unsuccessfully tried to hide another yawn. “I got to get ready for the day anyway.”

“I love you, Zed,” Liam told him, his voice low and sleepy.

“I love you too,” he told him softly. “Two more days, babe. We can do this.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Goodnight my love.”

Feysand AU Chapter 48

For @athroneofmistandglass based on this post I hope you like it. 

- - - - - - -

The Inn’s bath was less than desirable, but needed, especially since he would be sleeping next to Feyre. He was pleasantly surprised and grateful that Feyre had food delivered to their meager room. The room was so small, his wings were already cramping from being tucked in close to his body. At least the bed was big enough for the two of them.

He was delighted again when his eyes fell on Feyre. She was in his sweater, sipping on a glass of wine. Thank the Cauldron, the wine would help sooth his grated nerves. After today’s events and Starfall, it was time, he knew it was time to tell her.

He sat on the edge of the bed, he glanced at her.

“What is it?” She was starting to read him as well as he could read her. His heart skipped a beat with that thought.

He took a deep breath, “I need to tell you something and I need you to know that it’s not because I wanted to keep a secret from you, but you needed to heal and it never felt right to tell you. I should have told you on Starfall.”

She looked at him, really looked at him. She saw him, saw him past his title, past the masks, she saw him for everything that he was and everything he wanted to be. “Rhys, whatever it is, I don’t walk away, not from you.”

He pulled the tray closer, gathering his thoughts on how to tell her his biggest secret. He took a bite of stew, bland, but warm. He went for a second bite when the bond started pulsing. Shit.

“Rhys, do you feel that?”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Rhys, what is it?”

“Feyre,” Shit. Not here, this was not the place. “Not here.”

He grabbed her hand and winnowed them to the moonstone palace above the Hewn City.

“Rhys, what the hell is going on? And why the hell is the bond pulsing?”

On the balcony of the moonstone palace, just feet from where she once thrown her wedding shoes at him, ready to spit fire at him. He almost had the laugh at the irony of it. She was two degrees away from throwing something at him or screaming at him or maybe both.

He told her everything, everything that had gotten them to this point. He poured his soul out in hopes that it would soften the final blow. “I knew as I picked up that knife to kill her … I knew right then what you were, what I had suspected. I knew that you were my mate, and you were in love with another male, and had destroyed yourself to save him, and that . . . that I didn’t care. If you were going to die, I was going to die with you. I could not stop thinking it over and over as you screamed, as I tried to kill her: you were my mate, my mate, my mate.

He watched as tears fell down her face. She was beautiful even when she cried.

He continued the story of the past few months all the moments, she knew about, but from my perspective. “I couldn’t stop being around you, and loving you, and wanting you.”

“You love me?”

“With every ounce of my being.”

“I’ve been falling in love with you too, for a while now. Even before I left the Spring Court.”  I could see something was bothering her.

“How are we mates? Mates are equals, matched in some way.”

“I wish you could see how amazing you are. See that I am the lesser mate, not you. You are a dreamer and like me you would do anything, anything to protect the ones you love. Even die for them. And I have a feeling once your powers mature, that you be equally if not more powerful than me.”

“Oh”

We stayed on the balcony, sitting in silence. I reminded myself that I needed to give her time. She needed time to process the events of the last year. I remembered how I felt coming back to Mor, how shocked I was. I would give Feyre all the time she needed. Just as I was about to give her that time, she surprised me again.

He watched as she stepped closer to him, he felt his breath hitch in anticipation. “Thank you, for giving me time to heal. Thank you, for being part of the reason I healed. Thank you for everything that you did Under the Mountain, before and after. I know I am still broken, but I also know I am healing. I love you. Rhys, I love you and I am honored to be your mate.”

From behind us I heard I heard a faint exhale, he turned to look at his lovely cousin. As always her timing was impeccable. She was glowing with excitement. “I am so happy for you. And now it seems like we having a party to plan.”

Feyre, my Feyre, just looked at Mor, before Mor could interject, he stopped her. “Feyre darling, there is a tradition, that if the female accepts the bond that she presents the male with food.”

Feyre looked up at me, the realization forming in her mind, “Oh!”

He chuckled, “I didn’t know, I thought the food was brought up by the Inn’s staff, but it appears that you brought the food.”

Wicked Games - Chapter Three

I had a lot of fun researching where I wanted Betty and Jughead to live at and then finding the perfect dress for the charity banquet. :) 

I hope you guys like this chapter. <3 (We finally get to start calling him Jughead in this one, yay!) 


Her new place is okay. She’s sure that any other person would consider it an amazing place to get away. To her it just feels like a prison. Cheryl had told her that she should think of it as a small getaway. Staying at The Met Loft hardly seemed like such a chore, even Forsythe had seemed a bit starstruck when he had entered the apartment. Which brought her to her next point.

She hated living with Forsythe Jones.

There wasn’t anything really wrong with him, per se, but it was just his presence that irked her. The apartment was big enough, a two bedroom two bath living arrangement, but it felt crowded having to share it with the other man. He made sure to stay out of her way for the most part, which wasn’t so hard when she hardly left her bedroom these days. However, on the rare occasion when she would go to the living room or wander around, he was always there lurking.

Like right now for instance. She was sitting at the round table in the kitchen, eating a bagel as she stared out of the large window next to her. It was only eight in the morning, but the city was wide awake already. She liked to see the cars pass by and she would watch as people walked their dogs and went for runs. It was nice, except for the fact that her new bodyguard was doing pull-ups in the damn living room.

He had a bar placed on the doorway connecting to his room and the living room. It kind of made him look like a douchebag in Betty’s opinion, especially since they had a gym downstairs but whatever. His back was faced towards her as he grunted out while pulling himself up. The noises were enough to make her roll her eyes in annoyance as she tried to focus on the insistent honking outside instead.

She considered maybe running on the treadmill after she finished her bagel. Tonight was the charity banquet and she always liked to get a nice run in before getting ready. It made her feel a bit better about herself. She didn’t have to start getting ready until at least one, so she had a bit of time to kill. A workout could be fun.

“Seventy,” Forsythe grunted out and Betty gave him an exasperated look.

“Must you count out loud?” She asked, finally reaching her point.

“I’ll forget otherwise,” he calls back, uncaring. “Seventy-five. Seventy-six. Seventy-seven.”

“Now you’re just being a jerk,” she mumbles. As time went on, she began to miss Zack and Charles, who weren’t so damn smug all the time or who didn’t insist on walking around like they were a gift from above. Forsythe was hot, there was no denying that, but he also reminded her of the jocks back in high school; the ones who thought they were too good for the world and so she couldn’t talk to him for more than five minutes without getting annoyed.

“Your team’s coming here around one, right?” He asks as he walks over towards the fridge, opening it up and pulling out the carton of orange juice. Betty just hums in response. “How well do you know them all?

“What?” She asks, caught off guard. He just gives her a look that let’s her know he doesn’t have time to wait around for her answer. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I’m not,” he says as he sits in front of her at the table. “I don’t even think they should be coming over here to help you get ready. Cheryl, you, and I are the only ones who are aware of your current location and I think it should be kept that way.”

“They’re my hair and makeup team!” She’s had it with how ridiculously overprotective he is. She’s fully aware that this is his job, but sometimes he just takes things a bit too far. “They’re professionals, you know, kind of like you. If you want to start pointing fingers at people who have been by my side since I first started out, then let’s point them at you, too.”

He tilts his head at her in question.

“How do we know you aren’t my stalker?” She demands. “I don’t know you. I don’t know the first thing about you yet I’m just supposed to trust my life with you? How does that make any sense?”

Forsythe pauses and looks taken aback for a fraction of a second before his features harden and then he just looks a bit angry. Betty would feel bad, except she doesn’t. At all. He’s a jerk and she’s not going to apologize for stating facts.

“Do you have plans?” He asks, changing the subject completely. Betty just rolls her eyes before answering.

“I was going to go run downstairs.”

“Get dressed then,” he tells her. “We’ll go.”

“I can go by myself,” she reminds him. “It’s an apartment complex! You need a key to get in.”

“I’m sorry,” he says as he stands up. “Did you not live at an apartment complex the first time? And then it was a gated community, right? Then a hotel?” Betty doesn’t say anything, she just glares at him. “That’s what I thought. Get ready.”

She gets up and stomps all the way over to the bedroom. She doesn’t care if she’s acting like a kid. She hopes that there’s a bar at the event tonight, because she’s going to need a few drinks.


The gym is pretty empty when they finally get to it. There’s some middle-aged man on one of the many treadmills, a young girl on the stepper, and a guy who looks to be in his thirties is weightlifting.

Betty goes over to an empty treadmill and places her bottle of water in the cupholder. The treadmill has builtin fans on it and she makes she to turn both of them on full blast. Forsythe walks over to a high and low pulley system and sits down at it. Betty wasn’t sure if he was going to work out down here too or if he was just going to stand in the corner and glare at everyone, but it seems that question had been answered.

She noticed that he was the only guy in the gym still wearing a shirt. The other two guys were proudly showing their bodies off, but not Forsythe. She wondered if there was a reason behind it or if he was just that modest. She couldn’t help but watch as his arm muscles flexed as he used the machine. He wasn’t a huge guy that would be in any body building competitions anytime soon, but he had nice muscles and Betty was sure he could pack a punch.

She finally turns her attention away from him and focuses on her own workout. She made sure to bring her headphones down with her and she gets lost in a workout playlist that she made the other day that’s full of a bunch of early 2000’s songs. It’s probably not the most motivating type of music, but for some reason it works for her.

She’s been running for a while and she’s halfway through Cupid’s Chokehold when a hand clamps down on her forearm. She’s taken off guard and she gasps as she loses footing. Her speed is at an eight right now, so she immediately goes down. She’s waiting for the inevitable pain of her face getting mauled by the treadmill. It never comes.

Strong arms wrap around her and lift her up off of the treadmill and place her on the ground. She places her hands on the shoulders of whoever grabbed her as she tries to regain her balance. Once she feels steady, she takes her headphones out of her ears and looks up.

A man she’s never seen before is standing in front of her. He wasn’t in here when she first walked in, so she assumes that he’s just started to workout out if the way he isn’t sweating is anything to go by. He’s handsome with blonde hair and brown eyes and the shoulders she’s currently grabbing onto are broad and strong feeling. She might be swooning a little as she looks at him.

“I’m so sorry about that,” he says and her mouth goes dry at the obvious Australian accent that slips from his lips.

“It’s fine,” she says, shrugging, trying to play off the whole incident as if she didn’t almost just face plant into the ground.

“I just had to ask, are you Betty Cooper?” Her name sounds heavenly in his accent and she just nods in awe. “I thought so. I’m a huge fan of yours. Did you recently move in here?”

Before she can answer him, she feels someone place a hand on her shoulder and she turns to see Forsythe standing behind her, his signature serious look on his face. The guy in front of her looks over at her bodyguard and Betty almost snorts at the way he has to look up to him. Forsythe is pretty tall compared to her and this guy is hardly any taller than her, so that means her bodyguard is towering over him.

“Hey, man,” the Australian accent stranger says to him. Forsythe just stares at him. “Your boyfriend?” He asks Betty once he realizes he isn’t getting anywhere with her bodyguard.

Betty has to stop herself from cracking up.

“No,” she says with a smile, holding back her laughter, “he’s not.” She doesn’t offer up any other information and the guy just nods.

“Well, I’m Nathan,” he tells her. “It was nice to meet you. I hope I see you around.” Betty just smiles at him before he turns and walks over to one of the weight sets.

She doesn’t bother to say anything to Forsythe before grabbing her water bottle and marching out of the gym. She tries to speed walk to reach the elevator before him, but it’s no use.

“Betty!” He calls out, right behind her. “What was that?”

She smashes her finger into the UP button on the elevator before turning around on him. “Um, what was that?” She repeats back to him. “Is there any reason why you interrupted that conversation?”

He gives her a blank look. “Are you… are you serious right now?”

“Oh, my god,” she groans, thanking the gods above when the elevator opens up. She walks in and hits her floor number. “He was just introducing himself to me. He was a fan!”

Forsythe doesn’t say anything and Betty sighs.

“Look, I know you’re doing your job and I appreciate it so much, but you can’t run off everyone who just so much as glances at me. I still have friends, I have a life, and I’m probably going to continue to meet people. You just need to protect me and I don’t think I was in any immediate danger there, aside from almost tripping and busting my ass.” The corner of his lips turn up ever so slightly and Betty smiles. “My stalker, whoever it is, probably won’t come up to me and introduce himself in the middle of an occupied gym.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes and Betty’s taken aback. “You’re right. I might have been a little too much back there. I’ll try to work on it.”

She smiles. “Good. That’s all I ask for.”


The rest of the afternoon is spent in front of a mirror as her hair and makeup is done. This routine is always boring to her because she hates having to sit still. She engages in conversation with everyone, but her butt starts to hurt after the first hour and then after that she gets antsy. Forsythe sits in a chair in the corner of the room and reads a book. He only looks up every so often and Betty counts it as a win since she’s sure he’d usually be watching everyone like a hawk.

Christopher and Jackie, two of her hair and makeup stylists, fill her in on their lives and keep the conversation flowing steadily. It’s the only thing that keeps her from going insane. She laughs along at their stories and it makes the time pass by a little faster.

Before she knows it, it’s time to slip into her dress, which means that they’re nearly finished. She has the option to choose from a Badgley Mischka Champagne Sequined Racerback Gown and a Monique Lhuillier Embroidered Long-sleeve Illusion Gown in Antique Silver. Both look so gorgeous and she’s torn between the two of them. Christopher and Jackie insist that the Badly Mischka is perfect, but she turns towards Forsythe who’s still reading his book.

“What do you think?” She asks. He keeps his head down, not aware that she’s addressing him. “Forsythe?” She tries again. This time he immediately looks up, closing his book and giving her his full attention. “Which dress?”

He glances over to the two options and then looks back at her before pointing to the Monique Lhuillier one.

“It’ll look nice with your hair,” he tells her. She looks back towards the mirror. Her hair’s just done in a simple teased ponytail with a few of the shorter strands fanning her face. “Very classy.”

She smiles and looks over at him. “Classy? Okay.” She grabs the Monique Lhuillier dress from the hanger and goes into the restroom to put it on in privacy with Jackie.

“Asking for his opinion?” Jackie hums. “Very interesting.”

“Hush,” Betty laughs. “Don’t even start.”

“I’m just saying. He’s very handsome, isn’t he? A much better looker than that NFL star you dated.”

“Reggie was cute!” She defends. She had liked Reggie.

“Of course, but he was a pretty boy. Mr. Jones is much more than that. He seems rugged and dangerous, like he’s seen and experienced a lot. He’s sexy.”

“Oh, my God, Jackie,” she laughs, “why don’t you date him then?”

“Don’t tempt me,” she snorts as she zips up the dress.

They finish up and walk back out into the room. Christopher immediately wolf whistles.

“Yes, queen,” he cheers, grabbing her hand and twirling her around, “you look so hot!” He hands her a pair of heels to complete the look and she leans on him as she puts them on.

Christopher and Jackie continue to rave about how good she looks and she laughs at the compliments even though she can feel her cheeks start to brighten.

She turns towards Forsythe, who’s looking at her too with a smile of amusement on his face.

“Classy?” She asks him.

“You look lovely,” he tells her. It’s a simple compliment and she’s sure he’d say it even if he didn’t mean it, but either way it makes her face light up.


There’s a red carpet, of course there is. Betty sighs as the limo stops in front of it. She’s sitting in the back by herself, Forsythe is up front with the driver, and she feels nervous. It’s her first time attending an event since the threats started and she feels uneasy about it. She doesn’t think anything will happen to her here, not with all these people and not with her new bodyguard but either way, it’s a bit unnerving.

The limo door opens and Forsythe is bent over in front of her, blocking off anyone from seeing her.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks her, eyes searching hers for any kind of hesitation.

“I don’t know,” she answers truthfully.

“We can always turn back around and go to the apartment.”

“No,” she says. She will not live her life in fear. “I can do this.”

He smiles at her, like he’s proud of her, and nods. “Ready?”

“I’m ready.”

He moves out of the way and extends a hand down to her. She grasps onto it as she swings her legs out of the limo and onto the concrete. He helps her out of the limo and then closes the door.

She intertwines their arms together and puts on a smile. Forsythe walks with his body slightly in front of hers as if he’s a shield.

“Betty!” Someone calls out as what seems like a hundred flashing lights start to go off. “Is it true that you’re set to be the new face of Adidas?”

“Is it true that you’re dating Jake Gyllenhaal?”

“Betty, where’s Reggie tonight?”

“Betty!”

“Betty!”

As soon as they get inside she lets the smile drop from her face.

“Jake Gyllenhaal?” Forsythe asks, a smirk on his face.

Betty untangles their arms and rolls her eyes. “I talked to him one time at the Oscars and now we’re dating and the wedding is in June.”

Forsythe just snorts.

“Do you want to go sit down?” Betty asks. “These heels are killer to stand in.”

“You go sit,” he tells her. “I’m going to hang back here.”

Betty frowns in confusion. “Why? You can come sit with me, you know. I’m allowed a plus one and I didn’t invite anyone, obviously.”

Forsythe just gives her an unamused look. “I’m your bodyguard, Elizabeth, not your date. I’m just here to watch over you and make sure nothing happens.”

She’s not sure if the words should sting the way they do. She was aware that he wasn’t her date, but she didn’t understand why that meant he couldn’t sit with her. Just because he was her bodyguard that didn’t mean he couldn’t be her friend as well.

“Don’t call me Elizabeth,” she says instead. “I don’t like being called that.”

“I don’t like being called Forsythe,” he replies in a bored tone. She’s about to ask him what he prefers to be called, when a voice calls her own name. She turns around to see Veronica walking towards her with a grin and actor Kevin Keller on her arm.

“Hey, V,” she greets, pulling her best friend into a hug. “Oh, you look so beautiful!”

“Me? Look at you! God, I’d kill for your legs.”

“Hey, Kev,” Betty greats the other actor. “How have you been?”

“I’m good. I really wasn’t going to come here tonight, but I couldn’t deal with Veronica’s crying over how it would look if she showed up alone.” Kevin and Betty both roll their eyes at that.

“I came alone,” Betty informs Veronica.

“Um, unless I totally imagined that complete hottie that you walked in with then no, I’m pretty sure you didn’t.”

“He’s my new bodyguard, V.”

Veronica’s eyes widened as she looks over to Forsythe who’s now standing near the entrance doors, arms crossed over his chest as he stands up straight with a stoic look on his face.

“No fucking way,” Veronica says, breathless. “That’s the guy who’s with you at all hours of the day? You have got to be kidding me. Only you would get a crazy stalker and yet somehow end up with the hottest guy ever as your bodyguard.”

“He’s a jerk,” Betty says even though she’s not sure if she believes that anymore.

“He could be a jerk to me all he wanted,” Kevin speaks up. “God, he looks like he’d be into some kinky shit.”

“What?” Betty yelps. “How can you even tell?”

“I can always tell,” Kevin says with a smirk. Betty just looks away from him in disgust.

“Okay, well I’m going to tell him that I’m going to go sit down.”

“Yeah, go give your bodyguard a goodbye kiss,” Veronica teases. “You’re sitting next to us by the way. I totally switched around a few place cards.”

She walks away from her friends and makes her way over to Forsythe. He looks at her in confusion once she nears him.

“I’m going to go sit with Veronica and Kevin,” she tells him.

“Okay?”

She’s taken aback by his careless tone. “Well, I just thought I’d let you know.”

“Thanks,” he tells her, but it sounds a lot more sarcastic than it does sincere. Betty frowns at him, feeling embarrassed. She should have just gone to sit down.

She turns around and makes to leave, wondering why she always seems to somehow do the wrong thing around him. She’s not even trying to impress him or anything anymore. She just wants them to be civil. It amazes her how he can go from being so kind to her, like when he complimented her earlier to dismissing her like she’s an unsophisticated child.

“Betty,” he calls out suddenly. She turns around and gives him a bored look. He bites at his lip like he’s nervous and Betty can’t try to deny how sinful the action looks. “Have fun tonight, but be careful. Come get me when you’re ready to go.”

It’s hardly an apology, but she’ll take it. She just nods before turning back around to find Veronica and Kevin.


Two hours later she finds herself sitting at the bar with her friends. She knows that she shouldn’t be drinking and she thought back to the terrible hangover she had just the other day, but the martini that Veronica had ordered looked way too tempting and so she found herself ordering one. Of course one turned into two which turned into three and well, who was keeping count honestly?

“Oh my god,” Kevin gasped as he looked beyond Betty and Veronica, “guess who just walked in here alone.”

“Who?” Veronica giggled, feeling the weight of the alcohol herself.

“Reggie Mantle.”

Betty turns around in her chair and sure enough, Reggie is walking over to the bar and he appears to be stag. She hasn’t talked to him lately, not since the whole article, but there wasn’t any bad blood between them.

“I’m going to go say hi,” she tells her friends.

“First the hot bodyguard then Reggie? You’re on a roll.”

Betty just ignores Veronica’s teasing as she gets up and walks over to Reggie. At least she hopes she’s walking. The alcohol is starting to hit her hard and things may or may not be spinning.

“Hey, Reg,” she greets once she gets close to him.

He turns and looks at her in surprise. “Betty! Hey.” He pulls her in for a hug. Betty inhales his cologne. Reggie always smelled heavenly. It was one of her favorite things about him.

“How are you?” She asks, leaning against the bar for support.

“Good, good. On offseason right now so I’ve been spending time with my family. Sorry I haven’t been in touch.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she tells him. He doesn’t know about her stalker and she’d like to keep it that way. “I’ve just been enjoying some time off too. Although I’m sure that won’t last long.”

“It never does with you,” he smiles. “You’re one sought after girl, Betty Cooper. The world loves you.”

“Shut up,” she snorts. “You’re here alone?”

“Yeah. I actually kind of went on a date recently with a girl from my hometown. She was kind of my high school crush.” Reggie blushes and Betty coos at him. This was the best part about being friends with him, Reggie wasn’t interested in Betty like most guys tended to be. It was nice to be able to talk to a guy as a friend. Besides Archie and Kevin, she didn’t really have anyone else like that in her life.

“That’s so cute! Why didn’t you invite her?”

“It’s new,” he shrugs. “And I don’t think she’d like the spotlight too much, you know?”

Betty nods in understanding because she does know. The spotlight takes some time to get used to. Sometimes she thinks she might not even be used to it yet. She misses the days when she could get a burger without it making the tabloids.

“We’re taking it slow,” he continues.

“Well, I’m happy for you.” She says with a smile. “But don’t forget about me! Call me sometime and we can have lunch. I think I’m going to head out of here pretty soon.”

“One two many drinks?” He asks with a smirk. “You’re a bit wobbly. Do you want me to escort you to a cab?”

Betty snorts at his words but shakes her head. “Could you take me to my bodyguard actually? I’m scared I might fall over in these shoes. He’s by the entrance.”

Reggie nods and extends his arm out to her, which she grabs onto gratefully. He leads her to the entrance and Betty immediately spots Forsythe.

Apparently he had been on the lookout because he spots her at once and makes his way over to her and Reggie. He must notice her intoxicated state because he frowns at her.

“You ready to go?”

“Mhm,” she hums. “I’ll see you later, Reggie.”

Reggie passes her over to Forsythe gently, who then wraps his arm around her shoulders as he tries to keep her upright.

“Thank you,” he tells Reggie.

Reggie nods. “Have a good night. I’ll let Veronica know you left, Betty.”

He walks away from them and Forsythe leads them outside. The cold air feels good and in any other case, she’s sure she’d be shivering but right now Betty likes the way it feels on her face.

“You’re drunk,” Forsythe states.

“I’m not drunk,” she giggles. “I’m just a bit tipsy.”

He doesn’t answer her, he just tries to get a taxi instead. It doesn’t take long before one stops for them and Forsythe puts her into it gently. She’s expecting him to sit up front, but she’s surprised when he slides in next to her as he rattles off their address to the driver.

“Did you have fun?” He asks her.

“I did. You should have sat with us.” He doesn’t answer her and she’s about to forget the conversation when a thought comes to mind. “Earlier you said you didn’t like to be called Forsythe. What do you liked to be called?”

He looks over at her in shock, like maybe he wasn’t expecting her to remember that. He pauses for a moment before answering.

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“I promise.”

“Jughead.”

“Huh?” She asks, not understanding.

“That’s what my friends and family call me.”

She looks at him and studies him. There’s a small smile on his face like he’s remembering something, but he’s also looking at her like he’s nervous about how she’ll react. In the end she just smiles at him lazily before leaning her head onto his shoulder.

“Hi, Jughead,” she yawns out. “It’s nice to meet you.”

And then she closes her eyes.

Neighbours: Part Five - Tommy Shelby

The Party

Part One | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six |


As we pull up I find the party already in full swing; jaunty music emanates from a band I can’t see, filling the air with catchy tunes as waves of people mill around the gardens. It’s neither of these that attracts my attention first though, but a full fairground set up and lit to high heavens; a merry-go-round, swings and swing boats, separated by various stands and stalls engulfs the entirety of the Shelby property that I can see from the drive.

Keep reading

Imagine traveling to New York without Chris. (Part A)

A/N: Part 3A 😊 You can read the related mini-series and the previous parts here: (Mini-series - Masterlist; Mini-series Spin-off: ‘Unexpected Reader’, ‘Little Ways Away’, ‘She Said Yes’, and ‘Miss Graduate’ - Masterlist; 'Something Blue’: Part 1/Part 2)

“Can’t you just get your wedding dress in LA?” Chris asked as he walked you towards the departure hall, wheeling your hand luggage behind him as you reached into your bag for your passport and air ticket. “I don’t understand why you have to fly all the way to New York when there are designers who are willing to fly in just to dress you.”

Yes. You were flying to New York for the weekend to do your wedding dress shopping with Ava, who had uproot her life and moved to New York since Sebastian proposed. She still spent a lot of time in LA because of you and your wedding, and stayed in the same apartment you found three years ago though- she actually owned it now that Sebastian bought it. They needed somewhere to stay when they were in LA and they’d much rather stay in a place that had memories, than a fancy hotel room.

“And I’m flattered, but like I always tell you- I don’t need the special treatment and would rather dress myself,” you reminded him and he sighed. You were oddly down to earth for a girl who’d been dreaming about Hollywood and its special treatment since you were a little girl. You always politely declined when Chris’ publicist offered you a prep team when you were attending an event with him; the only help you got was with your hair as you weren’t really good at doing hair.

“Which brings me back to my first question, why can’t you just get your dress in LA?”

“You know why I’m going to New York,” you retorted, trying not to smile at his smile.

The reason you were flying all the way to New York for brands and designers you could easily find in Los Angeles too- was because of Chris. You knew if you did the shopping in Los Angeles, he’d find some way to convince you to let him come along. Even if you disagreed, he’d find his way to the shop and peek in the window and see the dress and- well, that was very bad luck. So you secretly purchased your air ticket on an almost full flight and only told him about it the next morning, just as you were heading for the airport so all he could do was drop you off and nothing more. He wasn’t particularly pleased with your sneakiness, but he did understand why you were doing what you were doing.

“You know I’m just going to FaceTime you while you’re shopping.”

“And you know I’m just not going to answer your calls,” you quipped and he rolled his eyes, smiling. “You can wait until the wedding day like the rest of them to see my wedding dress. I promise it’ll be beautiful and completely worth the wait,” you told him then kissed his jawline.

“You could wear a potato sack and I’ll think it’s beautiful and completely worth the wait,” he responded with a chuckle and you smiled. “Just-” he huffed, “Dodger and I are going to miss the two of you so much.”

The moment he referred to the baby growing inside your belly, you placed your hand over your abdomen with a smile. As it turned out, you were pregnant- four weeks on Monday. It was exciting and you were happy, but you were still trying to wrap your head around the idea of being a mom. You weren’t even twenty-two yet, it was still July. You didn’t even want to think about the fact that you were going to be seriously pregnant when January came around and it was time for you to start work. Was Emilia, or any other production company going to want you when they found out you were pregnant? Would you become a liability? Would they force you onto the back burner until after you gave birth? Would you lose your story to some other writer? What was going to happen to your opportunity of a lifetime?

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked when he saw through to your mental anguish.

“Do you think they’ll still have me knowing I’m pregnant?”

“Who will still have you?” He asked with furrowed brows and you rolled your eyes, answering his question. “Oh, Emilia?” You nodded. “Of course she will, she’s a mom herself. She’ll be incredibly understanding and patient. Plus- you’ve already written the story and you’re slowly converting it into a script, all you need to do is handover and she’ll sort out the rest for you. Most of your job will consist of meetings. With directors, and crew members, and actors and actress. It won’t be hard, and it definitely won’t be something you can’t do while pregnant.”

“Okay,” you nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. “I was just worried they’ll push my offer back.” You told him and he nodded understandingly, wrapping an arm around you. “I want to be your wife and I want to be our baby’s mom, but I also want to pursue my dreams. If it works out, great. If it doesn’t, then at least I’ll know and I can focus on being the other two.”

“It’s going to work out,” he kissed your hair. “Everything is going to work out, I promise.” He squeezed you tightly against him and you smiled. “Okay,” he came to a stop and you did too, spotting the entrance to the departure hall. “You sure you’ve got everything you need? Like your ticket,” you nodded, “and your wallet,” another nod, “and your toothbrush,” one more. “And your very handsome fiancé?” You were about to nod when you realized what he said and laughed, playfully slapping his arm. “I had to try,” he shrugged, laughing.

“I’ll see you on Monday,” you tiptoed and pecked his lips. As you were about to turn, his arm looped around your waist and pressed your body flush against his. He dipped his head and kissed you deeply, smiling when he felt you smile. “Okay, sailor.” You giggled, pressing your hand against his chest and pushing yourself out of his grip. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Have a safe flight,” he passed you the handle of your luggage and you took it, waving as you walked towards the gates. You passed your passport and ticket to the officer, then glanced back and smiled when you saw him mouth, “I love my two babies.”

“We love you too,” you mouthed back.

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @imaginesofdreams  @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @heartblackerthancoffee @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @rileyloves5 @buckys-shield @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @castellandiangelo @edward-lover18 @yourenotrogers @im-a-fandom-slut @royalexperiment256 @palaiasaurus64 @tacohead13 @badassbaker @pegasusdragontiger @sfreeborn @dorisagent101 @aekr @imagine-cats96 @adeptkillsyasse @shliic @justanotherfangurlz @winchesterandpie @creativeheartgemini @camerica96 @thestarlighthotel @sf0206 (I’ve kept the original taglist which I will utilize when I’m back on one shots, but seeing as I’m working on the series now- I’ll just be tagging those I notice follow the series. Let me know if I left you out and I’ll add you back in.)


Part 3B

Hey, everyone! Just a few things today.

As we’ve been mentioning the past month, we’re been discussing putting more events into rotation just like the early days of our role play! Sure, we have characters throwing their own parties, but we want to start having more events coordinated by the main to involve everyone. Like we said in a past admin post or two, we would love to hear from you guys and hear what events you’d like to see here at SSS! We’re already planning on doing our annual Halloween event, as well as Appreciation Week for Thanksgiving, and most likely a Friendsgiving around that time! While brainstorming, we’ve come up with a few ideas including a karaoke contest, a carnival, and a date roulette -just to name a few. Keep in mind, we do have the Summer Awards coming up at the end of the month! We’re putting together a list of fun and new categories for these special awards and if you have any suggestions on those, please sent them our way! Look out for the nominations being posted at the end of August.

Along with the events, we also discussed activity and improving it. We’re all guilty (myself and other admins included!) of slacking on answering starters, paraing, etc on the dash and sticking to simply making tweets, posting pictures, posting musings or music posts, honesty hours, and sending texts without much other interaction. Some days, that’s fine! Some days we don’t have the time or the energy to get on and be fully active. Some days we’re mobile. That is totally understandable. Real life comes first, always! We just want to go back to the basics and go back to our activity rules and really strengthen them. We don’t want this post to scare anyone when we say we’ll be stricter on the activity rules. That is not our intention. We just want to encourage everyone to interact more, make new connections, plot more, etc. Do you have to get on every day and para or answer starters? No, of course not. That’s unrealistic! But, this is a role play and we do want members getting more involved and writing more! We don’t want members going months without answering starters and paraing/chatzying/doing a F2F. Bubble role playing is something many people (again, myself included) are guilty of, and that’s something we are striving to avoid. We understand it’s summer and people are busy and we’re always telling members to take hiatuses when needed! The events I spoke of in the beginning of this notice is to promote more interaction, make the dash more fun, and hopefully provide everyone with more opportunities to plot!

Finally, we would like to remind everyone to check the Main daily/every time you log on to catch up on any news, updates, admin notices, activity checks, etc. We’ve noticed people will get reopened on the AC and then that person will log on, won’t notice they’ve been reopened, and continue interacting on the dash without reclaiming their role. Tying into that, please remember to update the admins on any relationship changes for the ship list or adding children. We’ve noticed some children may be missing from the children section, as well as couples on the ship list who are under the wrong section (for example, people on the dating list who are married or people who are on the dating list who are engaged). We don’t want to assume anything, so we don’t update the list without either role player’s informing us!

I believe that about covers it for now! As always, if you have any comments, questions, or concerns, please message us off Anon! We’re always here to listen and help in any way that we can! Thank you for reading this and please like this post to tell us you’ve read it! Have a great day!

HELD - CHAPTER 5

CATCH UP HERE // PLAYLIST // INSTAGRAMS

With one last deep breath and tight grip on his shirt, I released and pulled away from him, wiping the stray tears with the back of my hand. “God, I’m so embarrassed.” I muttered, keeping my eyes down to the floor. The last few sniffles racked my body and I hiccuped as I tried to control my breathing.

“Why are you embarrassed?” He asked. With my eyes still cast downwards I saw him take a step towards to me, closing the gap once again.

“What is it with you making women in this family cry Harry?” Sam piped up from nowhere. Harry and I jolted away from each other like teenagers, who were about to get caught breaking the ‘no touch’ rule.

“Bore off.” Harry warned, as I turned away and made myself busy collecting my hat from the sofa, willing my reddened cheeks to return to a normal colour. I wasn’t ready to be interrogated by Sam about whether the colour was because of my crying, or close proximity to Harry. To be honest I wasn’t too sure myself.

Keep reading

Here’s one thing you need to know about me, Maggie Lavenderprose. your local source for 1 AM headcanons and chronic daydreamer extraordinaire,

Most of my fandoms, once I lose interest in them, I don’t go back. Usually they’ve done something to bother me, or the source material went funky and I can’t abide by it anymore. 

But here’s the thing

I always go back to Star Trek

Don’t remind me of Star Trek or I’ll shoot myself straight down a rabbit hole that’ll end three weeks from now with fifty-three Spirk fics in my Ao3 History and seventeen McKirk drabbles in my drafts folder.

If I get back into Star Trek I need to make it an event.

I need to schedule out a block on my calendar and take time off work.

I’ve totally forgotten about Attack on Titan except for the occassional foray into the Erwin/Levi tag. I actively avoid the Sherlock fandom. The Marvel fandom bores me to pieces nowadays.

But I always go back to Star Trek.

would like to face my fears and goals head on and honestly this next round would like to acknowledge what goes on in my heart before it settles! tell everyone I love them when I feel it! say I need to put myself first when no one else will remind me to!
I think I’m in it dude I think feelings and events aren’t just throwing us at random it’s piling up and I’m starting to see the shape!!!

can’t wait for new seasons of flcl also I have some secret art stuff in the works and I’m realizing it’s time to leap into the next chapter and stop dragging my feet

“Luthor.”

With venom in their words and
rage in their eyes

See, a wise woman once told me: there’s potential in everyone, in everything. Potential for good, potential for bad.
Circumstances make a man but
Choices are all we have.

I looked her in the eye, confused.
How do I have a choice when people judge me before they know me.


“Lena.”

With adoration in her voice and a toothy smile.


She looks at me like I’m her favorite ice cream on a sunny day. Who am I kidding, she looks at everyone that way.

Incredible and optimistic Kara Danvers, she always tries to see the good in people. Some think that’s naive but I think it’s absolutely beautiful.

How wonderful it is to have someone look at the world from a different perspective.

People always doubt me and my intentions.
I can’t blame them, not really.


Words are powerful and cut deep. I often find myself floating away, slipping into the darkness.
Useless and a waste of space.


Sometimes the world seems against you and you need someone to believe in you

“Kara Danvers believes in you.”

Sometimes all it takes is just one person flashing you a smile, telling you how wonderful you are .

To be reminded of the good that exists within you for you have the potential to reshape the coming events.

“Be your own hero.”

I have no control over the past but
I have full control over the future.

See there’s always been potential in me. Potential to be good, potential to be bad.

And I, Lena Luthor

I choose to be good!

  • <p> <b>me:</b> *screenshots nice messages and when I have a lot of notifications, takes selfies and pictures from fun events, saves random momentos, hoardes anything from movie tickets to gum wrappers*<p/><b>someone:</b> why do you have all of this<p/><b>me:</b> hahahahaahah I have no emotional permanence and need memorabilia to remind myself that I've ever felt happiness because anytime i feel bad I completely forget any point in time when I wasn't experiencing eternal suffering haah<p/></p>

anonymous asked:

Could you possibly do a web to show who likes who?

I would like to politely remind you that the entire series is told from the point of view of Lemony Snicket. Relying on him for relationship expertise is like asking a bedouin for sailing instructions.

I mean, do you seriously want to end up with something like THIS?

(oh no my hand slipped this was going to be a serious blog i swear god i need to wash myself pass the bleach)

about two hours or so until i find out if he’s here. i really hope i can see him, but i have no clue if he’s going to this event. i miss him so much. even if he’s not there, it’ll be nice to get out of the house and be around people. but since i haven’t been around so many people in a while i’m feeling a little anxious. once i’m there i’m sure it’ll be fine. i need to just keep myself calm, keep breathing, and remind myself that it’ll be okay.

The Weekend that Was

I just want to say, we were forewarned about this weekend and well, it turned out to be a weekend full of stunts ending with yet another torturous few minutes of having a song I used to love being destroyed yet again.  But I think there is something very positive to be taken from the weekend and this is about how Darren reacted to the events that occurred.

We all know that Darren spent last Monday in LA.  No doubt while there, plans for the weekend of bearding were laid out.  And in response this was Chris’ reaction on IG:

Clearly someone was not happy with the plans that were made.  And hey, we had a good stretch.  Darren managed to avoid having any pictures taken with her as a couple since the Hamptons that were posted publicly.

Fast forward to Thursday and the twitter event.  When we all noticed Darren wearing two rings:

This is a trend that continued through yesterday.  There are many reasons this could be, but quite frankly, I believe this is Darren very much reinforcing his commitment to Chris as we know on that very evening his “gf” arrived in town as she posted a selfie on snapchat from the same place she stayed the last time she was in San Fran (no doubt she rented the same Air B&B to make it look as if she is staying with Darren).  I also think the two rings was his way of warding off the evil in his presence.

Friday afternoon, Darren allows the first picture of himself solely with her in months to be posted publicly.  And his face pretty much speaks for itself (just compare his smile to the one above where he is with a random male stranger):

Friday night beardy makes it known that she is once again attending Hedwig (really what significant other has to announce it each and every time they see their bf in a show?  Its beyond ridiculous).  And clearly this time she was on a mission as she failed to get one couple photo the last time she was in San Fran. But Darren was on his A game that night.  For the first and only time since July 19, 2015, our favorite joke reappeared as confirmed by multiple sources (he has not used the joke since, making the impact even greater. He was making a point very publicly and no doubt his goal was to embarrass her):

I love that fact that she had to sit in the audience, much like Opening Night when he very obviously gave her the finger, and just accept it and smile.  No doubt he paid for it later that night, but he made his point clear.  On a night when it was supposed to be about beardy, he started an absolute riot by bringing back the Col-Fur joke and reminding us of his co-star, someone he has not spent one minute with publicly since Glee ended in March 2015.  Is there even a question as to what his point was?  He may have to pretend to be with beardy, but it is very obvious where his heart lies.

We did get a cast outing that night, that seemingly involved his lady.  There is the diner pic.  There is a lot to be said about that picture.  At a very minimum, it is clear that she was not sitting in that booth and that the picture is staged (no room for her and no food for her on the table). I am going to leave it at that as there are many differing opinions on that pic.

Saturday, our girl spends her day walking around San Fran and Day Drinking.  Mercifully it appears she stays away from Hedwig. But Darren continues to make his true feelings know with the following tweet:

Why at 7:03 PST (my twitter is EST) did Darren chose to respond to this fan? And honestly, that fan knows about Hedwig,  The person is asking about So Gallant.  But Darren decides to talk about Hedwig as he needed to respond to this particular person.  Look at Lamees icon.  I mean, of all the fans Darren could have responded, he chose a person who had Chris as his/her twitter pic.  And it gets better. The individuals bio mentions Klaine and not too long before the exchange with Darren had tweeted excitement over the return of the Colfur Joke,  We have talked about this many many times. Darren is a very intelligent man. He has been playing this game for a long long time.  This was very intentional and for the second time in 24 hours he reminded us of Chris-A person that as far as we know he has not seen in 19 months.  No doubt of the intention- he wants to remind us of the person he is madly in love with and is not allowed to tell the world.

Of course, I figured we got away too easy on Saturday.  Once again, she announces her presence at Hedwig for yesterday’s matinee (we already know you are there, you do not have to post on Snap each and every time you head to the Golden Gate Theater with your Hedwig inspired footwear). Even better she has to let us know she is backstage after the show by posting the sign.  As if we should be shocked that one is allowed backstage when their “bf” is the star!!  

And then we had the party.  A party I think Darren was not over enthused about attending (which is sad, it was a party from what I understand to celebrate him and Hedwig in San Fran):



I do believe this was Darren sharing that he was exhausted and likely dreading the night ahead.  No doubt the “duet” was pre-planned and he knew what he was going to be forced to do.  And sadly, just a few hours later he was on stage performing and allowing a perfectly fine song to be absolutely ruined.

So yes, this morning, when the first thing I was greeted with was another awful rendition of What’s Going On, I felt sad and distraught. I constantly question what power it is that she can force Darren into continuing this charade? How can she force him to continuously embarrass himself (which pretty much is every time she is present)? I wish I knew the answers to these questions.  I hate that this is happening and I continue to worry about Darren’s physical and emotional well being.

And I remind myself that her getting him to perform with her is something she craves and something she needs.  And from the bearding perspective, we all know that one of the purposes she agreed, was to promote herself as a musician.  And no better way then to perform on stage with the celebrity she is associated with.  And have it posted on Social Media.

I think my point is however, no matter how distraught, how depressing these events seem, or how much I worry about Darren,  the important thing about this weekend is that Darren is fighting, more than I have seen him fight in a while. He complied with what he was told to do, he spent a weekend promoting her.  But he also spent the weekend rebelling and letting it be known to anyone paying attention that he was not happy.  He spent his weekend trying to embarrass her.  And a weekend reinforcing that his heart belongs to one person, and one person only.  And his name is Chris Colfur. 

I personally am very proud of him for speaking and speaking loudly. I just hope this nightmare for him ends soon. Sometimes I fear that whatever hold she has is just too strong.  But I have to hold out hope that good will prevail in the end.

busy hating myself rn and ignoring the meeting I have tomorrow so HERE’S your reminder that you can totally just buy me stuff whenever no need to wait for special events

just like

putting that out there

anonymous asked:

I have a really bad jealousy problem. I get so worked up whenever I find out my friends are hanging out without me or if they tag each other in funny posts and not me. I mean I really shouldn't be this worked up over something as silly as this! Sometimes i'm not able to hang out with them for valid reasons, and getting jealous over a FB post is just stupid! They always assure me that all four of us are a team, but seeing stuff like this every now and then makes me feel like i'm being cut off 😰

Hey, love. I’ve really struggled with FOMO myself. One thing that helps me is putting whatever I missed in perspective & reminding myself that it was just one event that I’ve missed out of many. Focus on what you did instead & what you enjoyed about that, or, if it was a boring responsible things, focus on congratulating yourself for prioritizing things you needed to get done even if it was hard! If you haven’t seen your friends in a bit or it gets really bad, take the initiative to ask them to hang out/plan something fun. Focus on upcoming events with your friends that you are looking forward to and reming yourself of all the fun things you HAVE done with friends in the past. Think about some of the good memories you have with them! Any valuable friendship never hinges on whether or not you were able to attend one specific event. No one group of people can all hang out all the time, and I promise you’re not being cut off. As hard as it can be, it’s best to try not to think too much about events/hang outs that have already passed & how you might have gone. Distract yourself with a tv show/walk/reading a book/etc. if you’re feeling FOMO really hard at any one particular moment. Also, I know it can really help me to take breaks from social media, even if it’s just for a day or two.

Much love,

Sophie

2

June 25, 2014: Best confidant.

We keep complaining that they’re all the same and some don’t even want to be in a relationship with anyone anymore because of that one big scar the previous person left. I was one of them, I generalize them after how many heart breaks. But then one person came into my life and changed the way I see things now. Whenever I hear girls complaining about boys who don’t appreciate or don’t treat them right, I feel sad for them (they shouldn’t settle for anyone less or anyone who don’t know their worth) but at the same time, it gives me a bit of a reflection right there, that I am blessed with a great confidant in life. I have never complained why he isn’t this or that. He’s the best and I couldn’t ask for more.

So how do I know more if he’s one great boyfriend? Honestly, words are not enough to explain it. I saw Jasmin Tan’s post “21 Signs You Have a Great Boyfriend” online. I cried while reading this because he fits in every sign she mentioned. I didn’t just cry because I realized I’m glad I have a great partner but I also cried for the fact that I’m so thankful that God has made our paths crossed. I’ve prayed for someone like him to come into my life because I didn’t want to go through another heart break. I told God that I’d wait no matter how long I’d have to, just for someone like him to come. I just left a prayer and I’ve never expected after that. I just went on with my life and now here he is, consistently making me the happiest, and pouring me with such unconditional love. I had to go through those heart aches and had to let go of some people in the past to make way of someone better. Indeed, he’s someone better. He’s such a blessing and a difference in my life.

He is your number one fan. He is the first one to congratulate you when you passed all your subjects…He may not carry cheerleading pompoms, but he makes you feel that you are a superstar.

Check. I remember him always cheering me up back in college whenever I felt really stressed out with school works. He would go after where I was to help me with my school projects regardless of the time. He would congratulate me whenever I get high grades (which really gave me more motivation). He’s always present to support me morally and physically, not just with my school works, but also during important events of my life. He was there during our thesis defense to support me; he was present on my first ever PROM, also on the recognition of honorific students with my family, and during my graduation.  He has been such a supportive boyfriend even after college – from finding and getting a job to almost all the events of my life.

He would always think I’m the best and would always remind me that I don’t need to put much effort because I’m beautiful the way that I am. It’s unbelievable. I would always hesitate and disagree. But I then I realized, if he believes in me so much why shouldn’t I believe in myself as well?

I’m really glad that he knows my worth thus he never fails to treat me like a queen. He’s such a gentleman. He’d offer his hand when we go off the jeepney, and like I said, he consistently makes me happy.

At times other guys wouldn’t want their girlfriends to do what they want because they’re scared of what might happen, like putting their relationship to risk. But he’s different. He’s so supportive in everything I want to do and with my passion. He pushes me to reach my dreams, to push certain goals and to do what I really want to do. He would always think of what’s best for me.

It’s selfless love. And I wouldn’t want to lose that.

 

Even during your losing moments, he will still be very proud of you. He will cheer you up and tell you you’re still the best even though you failed to achieve an award you were aiming for or got defeated on a competition. Even if you feel like a pathetic loser, he will make you feel like a winner.

He’s so like that. When I feel insecure and left out, he would always remind me that I am beautiful. He believes in me and my potential so much, and for that I feel that I should believe in myself as well. He finds a brighter side in every difficulty I face in life. He’s such an inspiration and not to mention, a good mood booster.

 

He does not fail to text and call you. Whether they are “good morning” and “good night” messages, or a regular reminder for you to eat your breakfast, dinner and lunch. Also, he texts/calls you even though he is with his friends. It may not be like your usual exchange of texts or length of conversations, but then he will make it a point to update you about how he is.

You seem to have a personal doctor. He knows your health conditions and restrictions. He has also memorized the medicine or whatever you need to take when you feel sick. And when you do, he takes care of you. But even if he is not beside you, you will still feel his care and he will always wish that you get well soon.

We communicate a lot. We update on each other’s lives without pressure. And yeah, he never misses out the sweet good morning and good night text messages. Proof is in my inbox. Heeee. We’re really close but not in a way that we’re too clingy towards each other or controlling.

It’s unbelievable to hear us saying that we give each other time for other priorities in life because it seem like we’re literally together almost every day. But we give time for our family, friends, work and hobbies. For instance, whenever he’s out with his friends, I give him the freedom to enjoy it but he does multi-tasking anyway, he sends text messages while having fun with his friends or he’s busy playing his favourite Xbox games. And when I don’t reply, he calls and checks up on me if I’m okay or if I’m busy (because he gets worried if I don’t reply). He updates me regarding what he’s up to even when I’m not asking or demanding for it.

He would always check up on me. He’d ask if I already ate breakfast or have taken my medicine. If not, he’d sound mad and he would insist I take it. I actually like that. It’s so cute when he gets mad at me at times like that because it shows he cares.

And when I’m sick or down, he’d make sure I feel better. He would do anything in his power to cheer me up or make me feel okay.

He hates it whenever you cry. He feels really terrible. He feels like he is the worst guy on the world. And he will do everything just to wipe away the tears on your eyes.

It’s a tough one because I’m one sensitive person. I sometimes cry whenever we both fight. But when he sees me cry, his softer side comes out. He doesn’t let a fight or a misunderstanding to go over a day without getting resolved. He prefers to sit and talk rather than act immature.

Whenever I deal with difficulties and I cry it all out and find his comfort, he would wipe my tears and tell me not to worry because he’s there for me. I need not to worry because his comfort usually works on me - he wouldn’t just give me warm hugs, but he gives words of wisdom and encouragement as well.

A bird? A plane? Superman? No. He is just your guy. He is your unmasked superhero, your angel in disguise. When someone does something wrong to you or terribly hurts your feelings, the bitch mode in him suddenly switches on.

That is so true! Like I always say in my previous posts about him, he’s my knight in shining armour. He’d be very willing to go through a fight for the one he loves.

He does not get angry with you when you are too busy. He understands well the nature of your work, he cheers you up when you feel so damn tired and when it is possible, he gives you a helping hand to make your tasks easier.

Inspiration—he gives you so much of this. Whenever thoughts of giving up on your dream bothers you, just thinking of him will make you want to aspire and strive further.

Go back to number 1 and 3. Those items will explain these as well. Again, he’s not controlling. He gives me the freedom to do what I want even if sometimes he does not understand it, but he would just support me anyway.

And yes, he’s an inspiration. He’s one of the reasons I continue moving forward.

 

He is your biggest support system. He makes you feel good when you feel so nervous the day before your thesis defense. He gives the comfort you need whenever you feel like the world is against you. He takes you somewhere when you feel bad. No matter how hard the problems you are facing, he will convince you that you are strong enough and you can do it.

He’s the cheerleader among all, the best in particular. He gives me so much strength. Even just by the fact that I have him beside me, I have all the strength in the world already. Yes, I have to exaggerate that. Hahaha. But seriously, he’s a stress reliever; all the sadness and tiredness are gone whenever his presence is around, especially when I get to hear his voice.

Religion is never a BIG issue between the two of you. Yes, you may argue about it a little or it may ignite ‘mild’ hard feelings, but then it only comes once in a blue moon. Also, it has never put your relationship at stake because you understand each other.

He’d go the extra mile, even before our relationship went official. I didn’t want to settle for someone who isn’t fit to be a long-time partner. I had standards that I wanted him to accomplish, and one of it was that he has to have faith in the Lord. He’s not as religious as I am but I appreciate his efforts on slowly getting his faith back, one step at a time.

 

He trusts you and he assures you that you can trust him too. You cannot deny that both of you get jealous at times, but at the end of the day, you still know that you are his only one. No matter how many girls admire him, you are confident that they can never take him away from you.

We both get jealous, yes. Because well, it is normal. If not otherwise it will surely worry me. We get jealous but we don’t take it seriously (well it depends on the situation). It’s usually just for the sake of being affectionate or malambing.

It’s cute that he gets jealous whenever guys stare at me like they have such intention. He either kisses my forehead or my hand, or he gives a tough stare back at the guy. ^_^

 

He never gets tired of telling you how much he loves you. He doesn’t just tell you it every day, but every hour if possible.

He reminds me numerous times every day and every hour actually (except at hours when we’re asleep of course). And yes, he never gets tired of telling that.

 

Actions speak louder for him too. He does not just say that he loves you, he shows it. He holds your hand, brushes your hair, massages you, hugs you, kisses you, puts his hand on your shoulder, brings you home, buys you food, and every little thing he can do just to make you feel loved.

One of the many qualities I love about him is that he’s a man who exerts effort big time. He proves through actions, not just through words alone. He does many things and would go the extra mile…just all of the above. If I will have to mention everything he has done for how many months so far, I may have to write a separate article for that. There’s just too many to mention.

 

You do not feel ‘required’ to give him gifts every time it is your monthsary/anniversary. Yes, you really love giving him presents and he appreciates that, but then, if you really cannot, it does not matter with him.

He’s very appreciative and not materialistic. Anything that comes from the heart, he accepts it regardless of the size or how it looks like. He doesn’t demand but instead he pours out different kinds of gifts for me – from a small love note or letter to a dinner date treat.

 

He makes you feel beautiful. He tells you how cute you are and how his thoughts about how your new dress suits you perfectly. You may not be the hottest chick in the campus or the one with the prettiest face, but then in his eyes, no one can exceed your loveliness.

He does not fail on doing that. I love the fact that he minds the small things thus he sees even the smallest changes not just on me but also on the things around him. With make-up or not, all dressed up well or having a bad hair day, he’d still say I’m beautiful and he would insist on that. He would often randomly stare at my face. I’d ask him why, he’d smile and either say “I love you” or “beautiful”.

 

You feel safe around him. You used to hate going to malls or other places, or going home late at night because you are overly paranoid that there are ‘bad guys’ around. But then, when he is with you, you are carefree and you feel guarded because you know he protects you.

I am always safe and secured in his arms. I’m not afraid to walk alone now because I have him beside me. That’s enough said.

 

You have fights and conflicts every now and then but it has never become unhealthy or toxic for you. You learn to forgive and accept everything about him. And the best thing is that, it makes your relationship grow much stronger.

This is true. We may have fights and misunderstandings, but we use them as something that will help us grow individually and together as a couple. As soon as we patch things up (usually just within the day), we discuss our realizations and learn from previous conflicts.

 

He shares his dreams with you. He tells you if he wants to take up Law or if he wants to enroll at a film school someday. He also lets you know his dream place to live in and the list of the destinations he wants to travel to. Somehow, this makes you feel a part of his future.

He believes in forever with you. He wants you to be the girl he will marry when he reaches the age of 24 or 25. He will do everything just to keep you in his life.

 

He’s really like that. He openly shares his thoughts about his passion to me, his plans for the future and his goals in life. Whenever he plans about the future, he’d always include me. He really said I’m a part of it and that I’m the reason why he made plans for the future, quoting him, “our future”.

 

You become a better person through him. No matter what kind of person you were, you feel like he has brought out all the best in you. He does not change the way you are. You are still the same person as you were when he met you, you have only become more amazing and a whole lot tougher.

“I love you not just for who you are but for who I am when I’m with you.”

Yes, I became a better version of myself since he came into my life.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   He’s someone so special to me that has not only brought me a bucket full of bliss in this tough ride of life but has also made a difference by helping me to believe in myself and to love myself more.  Whenever I’m faced with challenges in life, I often get overwhelmed by negative energy. He would be there to divert all the pessimistic thoughts to positive outlook and he would always know how to calm my chaotic mind.

He brings balance, serenity and security.

We help each other become better persons. We change a bit of who we are or what we are because we choose to become better versions of ourselves. And I’m really glad I share that with him.

 

He effortlessly makes you love him more every day. You are happy and contented with whatever you have as a pair. You know that your relationship has its own flaws and can never be perfect, but who cares anyway? You love each other so much and it is the most important thing for both of you. Also, you can even think of a lot more to add on this list because he is just too awesome for you.

I don’t even know how to begin with…I’m not sure what exact words to use for me to explain how I feel in this relationship. But one thing is for sure, I am more than happy with what we have and how we are with each other. It’s not perfect and we’re both not perfect, but it’s the imperfections make us love each other more.

In the midst of a silent moment, I stared at his face. I gave him a smile as soon as he looked at me.  I asked a silly question, “Why do you love me? Even if I get grumpy or moody” He said he loves a challenge and that from the beginning, I have always been that tough and he loves it. A challenge according to him motivates him. He answered the former question with certainty, “I love you more with your imperfections because it’s them that make you perfect”.

It’s the imperfections that will attest how sincere your love is for each other.  You’ll know it is true when whatever circumstances you both face, you don’t give up on each other but instead you always find a way to work it out. It will be tough but you’ll know it’s worth the ride if you have someone so great beside you.  It’ll be irreplaceable and you’d feel that in what seems to be a very big world, you’re both invincible. And hey, if it ain’t easy, it’s not worth it.  

Happy 9th monthsary, my love and to more 25ths with you 

Reminder (mainly to myself)

When you are advocating for your rights as a disabled person, you are not being selfish.

Whether you are asking for academic accommodations, physically accessible spaces, or events that respect your sensory needs, that request is not selfish. You are asking for access that most people get without having to ask, without having to even think about it.

If it helps, I think of all the disabled people who will come after you.

Think about the next disabled students who will need to communicate with that professor. View the hour you spend explaining some of the nuance and complexity of disability as an investment in that student’s well-being.

When you struggle with accessibility at a store and spend the time to file a formal complaint, remember that this advocacy is not just about you. It’s also about every disabled shopping who will come later.

When your request for accessibility accommodations an event forces the organizers to consider disabilities for the first time, think of everyone who won’t have to make that request in the future because you convinced the organizers to put that information on their website.

This isn’t the exciting advocacy of passing laws or protesting in the streets. No individual event is particularly high-stakes, and other people may write off your battles as mere inconveniences, even while your own internalized ableism makes you feel exceedingly selfish. But none of that means that these things aren’t worthwhile. Remember you are helping to build a better future for yourself and others. In a small but important way.