and my pot of gold is all yours

anonymous asked:

hi i love your writing so much and was wondering if you had any fic recs to hold me over until your next update 😭


I’m just gonna throw out whatever comes to mind ok and its probably mostly all smut cuz I’m a perv sorry (wow this ended up being way longer than i intended IM SORRY)

@jiminniemouse is the queen of threesomes so take a look into her profile but some of my favorites is:

Crave (Yoongi smut), Taste (Hobi smut), Making Him Jealous (ima call it a jikook threesome let me live), and her ongoing series Purple Jewels!


@jungblue ok anything from this girl is gold G O L D i love all of her fics but if I have to choose then

Future Hearts (Jimin/Jungkook love triangle), I Hate You I Love You (Jungkook smut/angst), and Control (Jimin smut omg i am still having chest pains thinking about this one)


@seokvie This girl has got a whole fucking load of fics it’s like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow smutland wonderland your vag will cry in joy and pain

Costume (Hobi smut MY ALL TIME FAVORITE FIC I L O V E IT), View From 4-B (Hobi smut), basically all her Hobi smuts, Show Off (Wonho smut), Paradise (JB smut), JUST BINGE READ ALL OF THEM (i am also excited to read her new fic with jimin and assplay and lets just say my ass is ready but I DONT HAVE A KINK FOR ASSPLAY OK LET ME LIVE)


@jungkxook yes yes yes everything all of it just do it

Pour Up (taekook threesome), Hiraeth (zombie apocolypse au)


@war-of-hormoan‘s For You (Tae angst) killed me about 40 times


@kimvtae‘s Fall For You (Jungkook smut) series and Couples Costumes (Hobi smut)


@minsvga‘s Philophobia (Jungkook/Jimin smut/angst) series, Taking Risks 101  (Jimin smut), Children of the Night (Jungkook/Tae smut) series


@yoonminnings‘s Lace Casualties (Jimin sugar daddy)


@trapmonster‘s He Didn’t (Yoongi smut/angst), Bite me (Jungkook smut), Silent Treatment (Jungkook), Nerd (Tae), Toxic (maknae line)


@btssmutgalore oh my god all of her fics ALL OF HER DAMN FICS LETS JUST SAY SHE SERIOUSLY OWES ME A NEW PELVIS OK FUCK but my favorites so far are

Nude (Tae), Lightweight (Jungkook), Business (A FUCKING TWO PART TAEKOOK THREESOME GOD), Lollipop (Jungkook), Forbidden (Hobi)


@ellieljade‘s Apologies (Tae smut/angst) is one of my favorites and honestly just read all of her masterlist as well i cry (out of everywhere)


@kookingtae‘s Experimental Error (Tae smut I fucking died), The Switch (OT7 Smut holy hell this was one of the first bts smuts ive read and wow now you see why I really love them), Falling Into You (Jungkook smut GOD I LOVED THIS SO HARD) + the rest of her masterlist


@floralseokjin oh my goodness ok i cant believe i havent discovered you sooner I fucking love your writing pls

Buzz trilogy (Yoongi smut & O       M       G), Playing with Fire (Jungkook smut) i havent read anything else yet BUT I JS SAW SHE POSTED A NEW FIC YOU KNOW WHAT IM READIN TONIGHT


@onlylovekpop basically all her Wonho smuts and drabbles killed me k i l l e d me but my fav is Bad Behavior


Other people you should def look into is @kittae (cat fics yes) @seoulscapes (an amazing demon wonho au) @helloblamebts @seokline @kstopping @imaginethisbts @kainks @jeonins @baeseoul (p r o t e  g e)

Im so sorry I’m still sick and I’m getting tired and lazy so I just had to bunch up the rest HAHAHA but I hope this helps anon! And you will def not be disappointed in any of these ok they are amazing and beautiful and amazing and everytime I read their stories literally

anonymous asked:

dude if u do gramon 2017 (them Now) ill cry,, I love ur art sm

“Graham stop using my iPad, you keep opening things and I don’t know how to close them.”



Old man damon and the forever teen, old man grem.

thank ye anon! uh this looks a little bit more 2014 but eh close enough right lol??? sorry this isn’t very sexxy or whatever lol but they being cute romantic bitter old men which i enjoy greatly

(blur drawing requests are always open, go anon if your request is too embarrassing!!! and sorry if i haven’t finished your request yet, I’m not ignoring them there are just a lot of them, I’m trying my best to get them all done!!)

edit: whoopsie i forgot to make damons tooth gold

Pagan Min’s Calls: A Comprehensive List (In Progress)

I love getting those calls from Pagan Min while playing Far Cry 4, but I haven’t been able to find any kind of comprehensive list or videos. So I’ve decided to make one. I made up the titles pretty much. Anything title in italics needs the full transcript. I’ve linked clips I’ve found where possible because obviously you need to hear him say these things. Please send any transcripts and/or clips you have found!

It would also be really interesting to learn if there’s any specific order they typically come up in. I personally have heard each one up through “Yuma’s First Impressions”, in this order.

Last Updated: 15 Feb 2015, 6:00pm EST

“Again with the Crab Rangoon”

…I had him killed. Or was it his family? Either way, the spread will be better next time…That’s the last time I’m kidnapping a fucking TV celebrity chef…

“That’s It. That’s the Call.”

“Ajay? Ajay? Aaaaaaaaajaaaaay?”

“Uh? Yes?”

“Awesome! Oh, just making sure you’ve been listening.”

Our Little Family

I wish you could remember what it was like back then, Ajay. Your mother and I, with you on her hip, oh those were the days. She was never happier than she was back then, and I should say the same for myself. We had such plans, not just for our little family, but for Kyrat. It wasn’t always like this, I long for those days but then it’s too late. I tried, I really really did, this place is ruinous. Try not to let them drag you down, Ajay. Ishwari didn’t send you back here for that.


I’ve been thinking about my image, on the world stage, and I think what I lack is a celebrity endorsement, you know, a visit from Dennis Rodman type. Perhaps I could get Beckham to bring the Galaxy over for a game against my best 11? A bit cliché now I suppose. A pop star? If the dictator of Turkmenistan can get J-Lo to sing him “Happy Birthday” then who’s to say I can’t get my fading star of yesteryear? I wonder how much Kanye is going for. Do you follow him on Twitter? It is gold. I would love to shoot the breeze with that young man.

“No Homo” (7:57-8:32)

Uncle Pagan here, just checking in on my favorite nephew. So tell me, Ajay, who are you rooting for so far? Have you fallen into Amita’s honey pot, or have you been dazzled by Sabal’s flowing locks and bad-boy jawline? Hey, each to his own, that’s your lifestyle choice to make. He isn’t my cup of tea, contrary to the rash assumption some may make about my appearance. I am indeed batting for the other team. You, more than most, should know that there was only ever one woman for me, my boy.

“Always Money in the Banana Stand Temples” (8:32-9:31)

Oh, I’d love to give you a tour of my vaults one day. Right now, I’m looking at all the wealth of Kyrat. Gold medallions, ivory statues, jade carvings, such delightful trinkets! The Golden Path says I stole its wealth, but I did no such thing! They robbed themselves for centuries instead of putting it to good use! I, on the other hand, have been selling off whatever I can to the West, and whatever I can’t, I melt it down and make something a little more…contemporary. There’s a lesson for you, Ajay. People are hypocrites, and they all want someone to blame for their shit-filled lives, they never want to accept their share of the responsibility. The next time they’re whining about building schools or clinics, remember they’ve been hiding away their fortune in dusty old monasteries for centuries!

“Fucking Candles”

Ajay, you’ve been out and about exploring Kyrat for a while now. Tell me who lights all of those fucking candles? The country is in the grips of a civil war, an apparently monstrous dictator has the country on it’s knees, and yet some industrious fool has put it upon himself to wake up every morning and go around lighting hundreds, and hundreds of candles. Oh I’m tempted to employ someone to blow them all out again. Actually I have a better idea—Gary. GARY! Put it down this is important. Listen, candles are now illegal. What? Yes all of them! Treason punishable by death, thank you—and thank you Ajay, you just made my week.

“Zippered Meat Pockets”

Ajay, I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of having a new suit made up for you. If you are to lead Kyrat when this is all over, you’re going to need a sharper look than denims and fucking sneakers, my boy. And that jacket. Oh, don’t get me started. Why on Earth do you need so many zippered pockets? What do you keep in them all? Handfuls of meat? Huh, I suppose you do. I’ll make a note for my tailor: “Ajay’s jacket, zippered meat pockets.” Perfect. Well, don’t let me slow you down.


Did I ever tell you about Noore? This is one of my favorites. She used to be a doctor, quite a benevolent soul. She came to Kyrat on some aid mission in the early days of my reign. She had the audacity to write a report on the human right abuses perpetrated by my regime! So I reached out to her, invited her to come back, to see the improvements, how we’d acted on her recommendations. I extended the invite to her family. So she came, husband and kids. I put them up in the palace, I even put on a little meeting for her, made a PowerPoint, “A 12-Step Action Plan” to address Kyrat’s human rights violations *chuckles* Except each slide was about how I was going to ruin Noore’s life. *laughs* So Paul “De Pleur” kept her family hostage while I forced the great humanitarian, Dr. Najjar, to run the most terrible parts of my Kyrati empire. Oh, between you and I, I think she actually enjoys it now.

“Lancing Boils” (9:32-10:14)

A word to the wise, Ajay. The next time you need something lanced, employ the services of a professional, as scarce as those services may be around here. Did you know because of your mother I sponsored an entire class of students to study medicine in Singapore? And they never came back! Can you believe the depth of that ingratitude? Paul dealt with their families here in Kyrat, and I had my contacts in Singapore track them down and find a fitting end for each of them, yes. Oh, as satisfying as that was, I now find myself lancing my own boils. Gary! Bring me some gauze and some fucking antiseptic ointment!

Yuma’s First Impressions

I’ve spent a lot of my life apologizing for Yuma’s first impressions. She has a remarkable ability to make consistently terrible introductions. I’d love for you two to meet on better terms, she really has been the driving force behind most of my successes. She forges deals with my international buyers, she polices Noore and De Pleur, she even finds time to run my army. Well, that is until her recent obsession with Kyrati superstition took a hold of her. She thinks I don’t know about the expeditions she’s been sending up the mountains looking for magical paintings or whatever it is. I’m as open as the next fellow about negligible losses for the sake of employee morale, but only so many pens can go missing from the stationary cupboard before someone has to lose a hand!

“Piano Recital”

I was in America not so long ago. I looked up Ishwari, but I couldn’t bring myself to see her, not after all these years. You always regret those decisions when they die, don’t you? Anyway, I was there with De Pleur, or rather “Paul Harmon”. He invited me to his home to meet his family, to see the other side of him. It was incredible to see the man behind the man. Paul, the loving father and husband. I was as jealous as I was happy for him. We went to his daughter’s school to see a recital. There was his darling Ashley, the light of his life. I could see the tears welling up in his eyes, so proud, so much love. It really made me think, what if I had followed Ishwari? What if that were you clumsily stumbling through a piano recital as I looked on teary-eyed through a viewfinder, capturing every precious moment. It always hits you when it’s too late, Ajay, always when they’ve gone.

“Cocaine and Yak’s Blood”

After Ishwari left it was a very dark time for me. Oh I was a cruel and angry young man. It’s this time more than any that gives me the reputation I have today. Yes, yes, I murdered countless innocents, yes I outlawed religion, yes I changed the currency so everyone’s savings were meaningless. And yes, I may have gone through a period of bathing in yaks’ blood and slamming rails of coke. But…I’m reformed now, look at me, getting this country back on it’s feet again. Top shape, Ajay. *snorts a rail of coke* Top shape.

“Pàng Xióng”

Ajay, did I ever tell you about my first body double? Not the one you wiped off the map, he’s number three or four now perhaps. Anyway, the first one, Jeong was his name, started brilliantly. He looked the part, diligent in his duty, but back then I didn’t realize what becoming me could do to a man. He went completely berserk! And it wasn’t the random beheadings or the blood-drinking that did him in in the end, no! It was a particularly embarrassing incident where in full costume, he was caught trying to sneak into Disneyland! Using a forged Dominican Republic passport–this is the best part–under a Chinese name that meant “Fat Bear”. Fucking imbecile!

Story-Relevant (spoilers!)

“Poor Eric” (15:06-15:53)

“Hello Ajay, did you miss me? Oh wait, yes, you did!”

“Pagan? I just killed you!”

“No, no, you just ruined a perfectly good body double with hair loss. Do you know how expensive he was to make? He wasn’t even Asian, for Christ’s sake, he was from Melbourne, I think. His only crime was being born with fabulous cheekbones. Whose picture do you think’s on the money? No matter, what’s done is done, I suppose next time it’ll just be you and me.

"Choices” (18:35-19:46)

“Oh Ajay, I can almost see your furrowed brow from here.”

“Pagan, what do you want.”

*tutting* "Tone! I’m merely calling to check up on you! I hear your little friends are having a bit of a spat. It must be hard, what with you in the middle of it all. Choices are difficult. Trust me, I’ve been there. In fact, you should be grateful for the choices I’ve made. Choices like Yuma. I went on live television to serve her up to you, and I loathe television. Radio is so much more my thing. And you, you jumped on the opportunity. Poor Yuma, she will be missed. It was a tough call to make, picking you over her. But it was the right call. You’ll see. Of course, you’re in a hurry. Places to go, shit to tear up. I’ll let you get back to it. But don’t forget, Ajay, choices have consequences.“

"Something More Contemporary” (20:07-20:37)

Really, Ajay? What do you have against my likeness? All those posters, Eric my double, and now this. Am I missing a hint? Should I start taking this personally? That statue was solid fucking gold. Literally! I’m not being metaphorical. Do you know how many artifacts I had to melt down to get it made? And poor Eric standing there for God knows how long just to pose for it! Well, what’s done is done. And dinner’s nearly ready.

Farewell Address

If you’re listening to this, I am no longer with you. At the time of this recording, Ajay Ghale has just ditched me at a dinner party, and I am admittedly a little ???. I have a plan for what should happen next, but the future is a fickle mistress. Regardless, I hope I leave Kyrat in better hands than my own. And to the Golden Path, oh ho! Fuck you. I’ve always hated the lot of you. Sincerely, Pagan Min.

Escape from Durgesh DLC

“That’s My Boy”

Well I had something important to say, but I suppose you just want to get out there and start shooting things. *chuckle* That’s my boy.


You know what I hate? Typos. You pay good money for propaganda posters, you expect them to be properly proofread! Ajay, be a good little errand boy and destroy the less than perfect propaganda in that center. While you’re at it, teach the people there a lesson. We’ll see if they’ll ever spell Pagan with an ‘e’ again! I’ll bet this is Yuma’s doing. She knows just how to piss me off.


I feel so much better knowing those terrible posters will never see the light of day. I’m giving you elephants. That’s right, elephants! I call the big one Hurley. He’s clumsy, but oh-so-adorable.

“Boom Boom”

Well, Daddy’s tower didn’t go boom-boom, so that means you must have succeeded. Excellent work, Ajay. You are, er, let’s see here, “capable and valued”, yes, those were the words for the day. I’m a believer in positive reinforcement in case you haven’t figured that out. Your reward! It will be made available to you when you head to your little landing zone. Thank you so much!

“Positive Reinforcement”

I still believe in you, and I still value you, Ajay. I’m a believer in positive reinforcement. I’m in control of my temper, even if you did just fuck up royally!


nothing at the bottom of the rabbit hole

I whisper words
with no syllables
pull crescendos
from my earlobes
I’ve fathered motherless
I’ve written blank pages
on top of poems

I’ve crushed hearts
between my lips
remembered things
that never happened

I’ve hulahooped mountains
climbed parking lots
crossed i’s
dotted t’s

I’ve snorted stepped on
smoked dying stars
rolled in the pages
of the new testament

I’m old news with
a new headline
a new pair
of shoes already worn

I’m on fucking fire
the flames chill my bones
I’m frozen in fuxking time
spinning around a clockface

I’m a long road with no
a rainbow with a pot
of pyrite wrapped snickers
with no peanuts

I’m a parent’s worst nightmare
the one that milks your

I’m an unbalanced mind
on a gold medal triple beam
a fall
lying down

I’m winter with triple digits
summer ice skating
fall blooms
falling spring petals

I’m a riddle with no clue
an answer with
no question at all

except two eyes
all the nothing
I just painted

myself to be

Canadian Girl

Chapter Four

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC  |  Word Count: 2550
Warnings: Fluff, stereotyping of Canadians (It’s ok, I am one)

“I’d kill for a chocolate bar,” Kennedy sighed, leaning her head against the wall.

“Then you’d be in serious trouble, doll face.”

Jerking away from the wall, she spun around and groaned, grabbing for her temple. “Do you have to keep doing that?”

Frowning, Steve took her by the shoulders. “Doc? You okay?”

It had been a week since her Thanksgiving and he’d taken to wandering down to her floor every day. Friday was casually keeping him informed of her location. The AI was also doing him a favor by keeping his late night activity and day time disappearances from the others.

Keep reading

Not Truly Alone: Chapter One- 26 Years Later

[Yondu Udonta x reader]

Warning: Spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

“Everything is fine; Peter is safe. Peter is safe…”

You repeated the same three words in your head until you made yourself believe it was true.

A few months ago your nephew had taken on Ronan the Accuser and held an infinity stone without dying. If word had gotten to you all the way on the outer rims of the Galaxy, then Ego surely heard about it. And that terrified you.

Twenty-six years of doing everything in your power to ensure Ego never found him only for it all to be thrown away because Yondu ended up being a terrible babysitter!

“(y/n)?” called a soft voice.

“What?!” you screamed angrily, eyes and veins glowing gold. Any dust on the floor, all the plants, everything in the room began to float in midair. It wasn’t until you closed your eyes and took a deep breath did it all come crashing down. Literally.

The pots plants had once resided in shattered once they hit the floor. And the dust landed, causing a cloud of it to fly everywhere.

Meena coughed and waved dust out of her face. Her pale blue eyes fell on you and she let out a sigh.

“Something is bothering you. Would you like to speak about it?” She walked over and sat in front of you. She pulled her legs up to her chest and laid her arms on top, resting her chin there.

Opening your eyes, the gold had faded and now Meena could see the (e/c) of your irises.

“I’m worried about my nephew…” you muttered and looked down at your hands.

“Hm-” she made a humming sound and nodded, “-I know what you’re talking about. We heard about it all the way in Asgard. Truly, your nephew has powerful gifts.”

You groaned and covered your face with your hands. “If even Asgard heard about this, then Ego must’ve!” You groaned again and waved your hands, fixing the pots. After that was done, you leaned back on your hands. “This is Yondu’s fault! He was supposed to make sure Peter didn’t do anything stupid!”

“How was he supposed to do that when he’s the one always making the stupid decisions?” Meena mused with a laugh. When she saw it didn’t even get a small smile out of you, she sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know why you decided to trust a Ravager, of all things!”

“Who else was I supposed to trust to take care of my nephew?! Anti? Or perhaps I should have consulted Odin! He always enjoys my little visits!”

Your outburst startled Meena. She jumped at your tone of voice. But she couldn’t blame you for the stress.

“Just…” a sigh, “-I’d like to be alone right now, Meena. I-”

You were cut off by a chill going down your back. You let out a gasp and Meena prepared for what was next.

You saw a vision.

Peter on Ego’s planet. He was fighting him. And Peter was winning. But not for long.

You looked at Meena and grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Get a ship ready. You and I need to leave.”

The quick trip to Ego’s planet seemed too long in your opinion.

When you and Meena arrived, you were both met with something that was rather surprising- it was to her, at least.

“Is-” she paused for a second, struggling to find the words appropriate for this situation. “-is that a Ravager ship?” She seemed genuinely surprised by the sight.

You let out a half-hearted laugh. “That blue idiot. He could’ve at least told me he was going to do this.”

“What are your orders?” Meena tugged at the gold and platinum wrist guards. Her armor wasn’t far off the Einherjar armor from Asgard. The only thing she didn’t have was the helmet. She refused to wear one when given the choice.

“Stay on the ship. This is my fight, not yours. Besides-” you tightened the straps on your boots, “we’re gonna need a way to get back to Oasis.”

“We?” Meena questioned. But she never got an answer. You had already disappeared in a flash of gold light.

You appeared in Ego’s planet, near his core.

“Who the hell are you?!” someone shouted.

Looking over, you saw your nephew standing there, wide eyed and mouth agape at the sight of you. You would have taken this time to admire him and feel lucky to finally meet him in person, but given the situation that was the last thought on your mind.

You held your hand up and a wall of gold energy rose out of the ground. It separated you, Peter, and his group from any attack Ego would throw.

“‘Bout time you showed up!” Yondu’s voice rose above the roar of energy that cracked and popped in your eardrums. He held a toothy grin as he walked toward you.

“I’m always the last person to know when you’re about to do something stupid,” you commented.

He chuckled. “Thought tha’s why ya meditated.”

“Apparently it’s not working!” You flinched as Ego threw something at the barrier. “Go. Take Peter and the others. Get them out of here.”

“What ‘bout you?” Yondu asked.

“My brother and I need to have a little family meeting.”

“Brother?!” Peter spoke up. He looked just as lost as the rest of his team.

“Tell ya later, boy!” Yondu barked. “You heard the lady! Get outta here!”

With your free hand, you waved it and they disappeared. They’d be very confused about how they ended up on the Ravager ship, but that could be explained later.

Dropping the barrier, you were met face to face with your brother. He looked older, and his hair was gray. He doesn’t age, yet he made his form look older. Interesting

“I should’ve known you would show up sooner or later, (y/n),” Ego said. “I should’ve known you had something to do with this…”

“Something to do with what?” you inquired.

“You told Yondu not to bring me Peter, and when I finally got my son you sent that blue fool to retrieve him.”

“In all honesty, brother-” you walked toward him slowly, “-I didn’t send Yondu here. He came on his own.”

“Oh please,” Ego scoffed. “You’ve had him on your payroll for twenty-six years; he’ll do whatever you tell him too.”

“Yondu does what Yondu wants.” You were a foot away from him now and every muscle in your body wanted to hug him. He was your brother. You loved him. “And frankly, so do I.”

You made a fist and punched Ego in face. A chunk of it was destroyed on impact, leaving nerves exposed.

“Now-” he grunted, “-that was unexpected.” His jaw locked as it materialized and he grabbed your throat. “I’ve been waiting for this for far too long.”

“You’re an idiot!” Meena shouted at Yondu.

The Oasis royal ship has connected to the Ravager ship, allowing the habitants to board. Meena wasn’t too keen, however, to have them on her ship.

Especially Yondu.

“This is your fault! You should have told her what you were doing before you did it!” Meena continued to yell as she poked the Centurian in the chest with her finger. “(y/n) is out there risking her life to save you and her nephew! She would be better prepared if she had known what was going on! And more importantly, we wouldn’t be in this situation if you were a good babysitter!”

Pain pulsed through your back and neck as you were launched across the terrain, your body colliding with the rock. Ego rushed up and punched you, causing you to fly through the rock and onto another platform.

“You’re on my turf now, big sister.”

Again, another punch.

You didn’t know how much more you could actually take. You didn’t train with your powers and abilities the way Ego did; you didn’t want to make yourself into a weapon.

“You think you’re so big and bad. What’s so special about you?” He grabbed your throat and pinned you to a rock. His fingers dug into your neck. “So what if you’re a few millennia older than me? So what if you were dad’s favorite?”

“We don’t-” you gasped for air that you didn’t need, “-have a dad…”

“That’s what you keep saying. That’s what you’ve been saying.”

“You’re acting like a spoiled brat who didn’t get what he wants. You know that right?” You grabbed his wrists and gold spread down your arms and encased Ego’s. “I’m just glad you’re rage is distracting you. I always was better at controlling myself.” He was completely covered in gold.

Your body sunk into the ground, gold veining through Ego’s blue and silver nerves. You finally found his center; his light.

“I’m sorry, brother. I hope you can forgive me.”

You placed your palm to the surface and gold vines erupted from your hand. They stuck into Ego, infesting his light. He started to tint, his nerves and veins dulling into a sickly gray.

Then there was the quake.

He was dying.

When you resurfaced, the golden Ego was dust. Everything was falling apart.

Closing your eyes, you focused on Meena’s aura.

In a flash of gold, you appeared before the group.

“(y/n)!“ Meena ran toward you and pulled you into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay! I was so worried-”

“I’m fine, Meena.”

You looked over at Peter and smiled. “I’m glad I finally get the chance to meet you.”

“Who are you?” he asked.

Walking over to him, you took his hand into yours. “I’m your Aunt.”

Tag: @rootbeergoddess @underratedcharactersimagines @ravagemyheart @ukcatsgirl10 @multi-villain-imagines @haloshornswrites @tallblueandhandsome @musicalcoffeebean @fandomhoghere

A Gnome Spell...

To Bring Good Luck, Health, and Prosperity to Your Home and all Within it.

You will need:

  • A gnome statue in your garden or in a large plant pot in greenery, if possible a plain brown or grey pottery gnome.
  • A gold-colored coin and a silver-colored coin.
  • A small-lidded pot.


Around sunset.

The spell:

Place the coins beneath the gnome and say, “It is not your treasure i wish to possess, but great good fortune and success. I make this offering now to you that daily you my luck renew.”

Leave it for three weeks (gnome magick is slow but lasting, and gnomes do not like to be rushed).

After three weeks at sunset, set the pot in front of the gnome.

Each sunset put a coin in the pot, saying the spell words, and replacing the lid.

When it is full, leave one coin in and use the money to buy a plant or something beautiful for the garden. Continue the offerings.

“1001 Spells: The Complete Book of Spells for Every Purpose,” by Cassandra Eason


I watched ‘Minimalism’ tonight. 

I was actually searching for a documentary on sustainability I had been told was on Netflix - just not Filipino Netflix apparently - and pressed play on this instead (those of you that know me know I’m partial to a nice font). 

In the last couple of years I’ve found myself working on being more - for lack of a better word -  ‘mindful’, to open my eyes to what I value in my environment; at home, at work, in my city, my country. To what brings joy, agitation, to what I have control over and what I can let go. It’s been a really enjoyable journey and one I’m happy to keep exploring. 

Recently, I moved house. Not far, just next door. A replica of home with an extra bit on the side for some urban gardening. In not packing up to move (just picking up the contents of a shelf and lugging it in the summer heat to the same, but different shelf next door) I was re-acquainted with my belongings, and what I’ve accumulated in a couple of years of having a home that wasn’t at work. Naturally, I looked at it from an environmental point of view - the energy taken to manufacture it; where it would end up if I chucked it or gave it away; the packaging it came it and the redundancy I can’t seem to escape from. 

I never really considered it’s impact on me. The metaphorical weight of it. The broken promises of that skirt I don’t fit in, but might do again if I just developed some discipline. Those colouring pencils representing a failure to take a break and colour in a jellyfish in the near-empty adult colouring book. Those heels I swore would inspire me to be a bit more fashionable, but never wear, and therefore am a slob. Those make-up brushes that make me feel less of a woman because I have no idea what they actually do, or why there need be so many. Who knew that my room, my sanctuary, was ridden with nuanced negativity. 

If you asked me to visualise minimalism, I’d probably have described a photo of a succulent on a white table with gold trimming on it’s pot á la Instagram. I would not have said ‘happiness’…until I watched this film. It was like giving a face to all my unfinished ‘mindful’ thoughts, and showing me what this path could look like. It’s not an empty white room with a single chair and a bare light bulb. It’s living with what you need, and what you value. It’s side-stepping the marketing that’s shoved down our throats everyday, it’s deciding what to consume rather than being dictated to by the latest trend. It’s freeing yourself from the negativity imposed on you by your stuff. 

I guess at the end of it all, it’s about taking control of your life, recognising what’s really important to you and curating your environment to match it. 

I share this because I believe it’s a wide enough concept that anyone can adapt to suit them and their lifestyles and see positive results - it doesn’t have to be extreme in any sense. And in this mixed up, muddle up world of 2017, we can all do with a little more positivity in our lives…


Our Ramen Recipe

It’s not exactly low spoons by any stretch, but it is relatively quick and simple, covers a lot of basics, is inexpensive, and tastes delicious. (Please note that most of this can be adjusted for taste; only the egg really needs precision.)

1 packet ramen, flavour to taste (we use Oriental)
~2 tsp olive oil
2 cloves of garlic
~1 tbsp? soy sauce
1 forkful (~1 tsp?) chili paste
4-5 stalks baby bok choy, or 1 stalk of full-size
~¼ of a bunch of green onions
Optional if you’ve got spare spoons: 1 egg, a handful of bean sprouts

Fill a small pot with ~4 cups of water. Boil. Remove from heat immediately and add 1 cup cold tap water. Add the egg and let stand for 17 minutes.

Chop the garlic into slices, and chop the stalk of the bok choy into bite-size squares. (If using full-size bok choy, you will not need it all. Don’t be afraid to discard a chunk off the bottom.)

Use the olive oil to cover the bottom of another pot, add the chili paste, garlic, and bok choy stalk. Put on medium heat until it starts to sizzle, then turn it back down to medium-low (3 on my stove’s dial). Shake to move the ingredients around every time you get a chance, cooking until red-gold and the chili paste is evenly mixed with the oil (about 2-4 minutes) while…

…you chop the onions and bok choy leaves. Put them in your bowl, along with the bean sprouts.. Take the garlic and stems out of the pot. Fill it with approx 750 ml water, enough to completely submerge the noodles in. Add the soy sauce and flavour packet. Bring to a boil.

Add the noodles and cut temperature to halfway. Cook until noodles can be separated by fork. Add noodles and broth to the bowl. Take the egg out of its pot and crack it into the bowl. Serve with chopsticks.

Total time consumed: Approx ½ hour.

Dishes required: 2 pots, 1 bowl, 1 fork, 1 knife, chopsticks, cutting surface. All reusable for days in a row when low spoons.

Total cost: Maybe a few bucks?

Tastes: Delicious.

Nutrition: Not gonna pretend it’s great, but it’s something we can cook basically on autopilot, basically as we get hungry, for a week at a time, and it has at least some protein and something green and starch and liquid?

what i think when i see the members: updated version

Taeil: “aight… i kno that u r thicc and all… but… i still want to hug u and wrap u in a blanket… and laugh at all your weird jokes…”

Hansol: “oh hey hanso–*gets whiplash from seeing him Not With Blonde Hair™* *also wonders what his favorite kind of coffee is since he seems to like it so much* *sees him out there livin the high life* :’]”

Johnny: “the nicest, softest palm tree–truly. A GIANT DORKY MEME. is probably made of marshmallows, melted chocolate and some sprinkles for good measure”

Taeyong: “FLUFFY PINK KITTY!!! MEME CHILD!!! THE CUTEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!11!!1 NEEDS HUGS!!!1!!!!1!!!!!!!1!”


Kun: “this guy needs to have a photography collab with ty track, jeno and ten. then they can take lots of literally perfect pictures and sell them all and make a whole ton of money, which they can then use to finally go to chicago for a season of nct life like they all keep talking about”

Doyoung: “soft bunny. also a salty bunny. a very cute bunny. nice bunny. smart bunny! savage bunny! the best bunny!!”


Jaehyun: “;^; the sweetest, nicest, most talented bread boi T^T such a cute bean :’’’] bUT. IS ALSO A MEME. ILL GO TO NEPTUNE WITH YOU JEFF!!”



Yukhei: “it should not be allowed for anyone to be that squishy-looking, whilst also being THAT FUCKING TALL. THE FUCK??”

Mark: “your hair is so fluffy and your eyes are so big and sparkly and youre just so cute but i know you really just want to be cool and you ARE actually really cool and youre also so dedicated and hardworking and youre lowkey an inspiration and i wish i could one day personally say thank you because i think youre really great and i adore you to bits and pieces and i kinda want to know if you still dont know how to cook eggs and also how many cups of coffee did you drink before the cherry bomb mv shooting??”

Renjun: “*sobbing* i will give you icecream… a million moomin plushies… aNYTHING… just pLS… LET ME LIVE…. YOUR VOICE IS TOO BEAUTIFUL….. I CANT HANDLE IT D’:”

Jeno: “u, my dude, have some really pretty eyelashes. AND SOME LIT DANCE SKILLZ™. im glad u think ur funny now. bc its true”


Jaemin: “*jams sadly to chewing gum* i eagerly await the day you make your reappearance, young whippersnapper”



Just before sunset, the winds would change. They’d carry all the little loveless words that we’d thrown away in the day. Like a forgotten god, they would float along the riverside. I took your hand and we followed the trail(I think you still have the marks on your arm where I held you, scared). Chasing storms, we’d come to expect nothing less than lots of pots of gold. But nothing could have prepared us for this.
We have arrived to the opposite of heaven above, my dear dead love. Desert lands, sands on fire, we will end it here. Loveless and bitter.

now you see me sentence starters.  contains 150 lines from the first film. some of these are lighthearted, some of these are angsty, some of these are suggestive — it’s a mixed bunch. you can send in a sentence or a ☆ for a randomised one. feel free to change the wording, pronouns, names etc. to fit!

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  • Italy: Germany, Japan, I had a dream about all three of us.
  • Japan: oh, I heard that dreams can be a depiction of your true desires.
  • Italy: we were all eating one day, but than Japan turned into a centaur and barfed rainbows and then Germany started dancing because he found a pot of gold and then we trade it with a homeless man for a machine that could make my curl the size of Sicily~!
  • Germany: ... Or it could mean that you need therapy.

Summary: The reader wears a ring engraved with the coordinates of a special place, but refuses to tell anyone what they mean. 
Word Count: 1325
Pairing: Winchesters/Bobby x Reader (Friendship)
Warnings: Language, character death. 

@spnfanficpond @aprofoundbondwithdean

Your name: submit What is this?

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{Pompeii Chapter 5}

Kankuro was a riot, and a part of Sakura believed he was only so chummy and outgoing because it made Gaara all the more uncomfortable. Kankuro acted as if it was a real treat to do anything with Gaara, making the younger brother bluster and blush.

“I’m going to take this upstairs first,” Gaara ground out, glaring at his brother. He paused when he caught Sakura watching him and then ducked his head. “D-do you want to show me where you want it?”

Sakura nodded, taking the stairs two at a time until she was on the landing outside her room. The door had been left empty for the brothers to move in and out of easily. Sakura slipped in first and waved Gaara in behind her. There was a space under the windows she wanted the mattress set. A folded set of sheets sat off to the side, ready to be applied.

“It’ll be nice right under the windows,” Sakura commented, feeling a little nostalgic for when she used to have a similar arrangement in her childhood home.

Gaara surveyed the room, nodding at the cleaned off floor. “You have a lot of room here.” His eyes settled on the succulent she had put under the nearby window and Sakura watched his eyes soften. “You kept it.”

Now it was Sakura’s turn to flush. “Yeah. I…I know it’s super cheesy, but while I like plants and flowers I feel like the desert breeds are the only plants that can survive me. I remember for high school graduation I got so many flowers and even the potted ones. I tried to take care of them but they all died.” She glanced back at the succulent on the window sill. “A friend gave me a small barrel cactus in a pot apologizing for being so prickly all year long. I took care of that guy for my entire college life. It’s a nice feeling, when something stays with you for so long.”

“They are strong,” Gaara agreed.

Behind them the sun was setting and filtered gold started to streak in through the windows to the west. It made his face and hair just glow.

Sakura blinked, “Will you and your brother be okay carrying the mattress up?”

Gaara snorted, shaking his head and making his hair sway. “Kankuro is unnecessary.”

Seconds later a snake of sand slithered mid air, followed by a coil around the mattress. Kankuro was lying on the mattress with a saucy smirk, letting Gaara carry him and the merchandise to the designated spot. He winked at Sakura as Gaara set the mattress down.  Gaara’s sand smacked Kankuro as it left the mattress like hands leaving a child.

“A little showy, don’t you think?” the older brother asked, adjusting the black cat hood he wore as part of his outfit. In addition to a set of all black he also came with an impressive design of face paint traced across his face. At least Sakura guessed it was face paint.  

“Are you truly necessary?” Gaara asked in a droll tone, eyes half lidded.

“Yeah, cause I’m the one in charge, duh.” Kankuro hopped up and slid up alongside Sakura. “Speaking of which, my boss wanted me to ask you about the invoice. Someone already tried paying for it and we wanted to ask-“

“Don’t accept his money!” Sakura’s reaction was knee jerk at best. Both brothers blinked owlishly at her. “Ugh, no, it’s just someone trying to be welcoming. I don’t want to do anything that could be construed as taking a bribe so please don’t deposit their check or whatever they used. I have the payment already made out for you to take back.”

Kankuro smiled, causing Gaara to flinch. “Ah, no worries there. Temari is a force all on her own. She’ll turn down their payment if you tell her to. But is that okay with you? It might piss the party off.”

Sakura felt her shoulders and rolled them back, adopting the look she took on when addressing business. “That may be unfortunate, but I stand by my decision.”  

Kankuro laughed. “Oh man, the old lady is going to love you. Ah, I better get out of here before I get in too deep. Gaara looks ready to murder me.”

Sakura turned and looked back over her shoulder at Gaara, but his face only flushed a brighter shade of red under her scrutiny. He looked more embarrassed than anything. Kankuro was a tease.  

“Come on little brother, you can’t sleep here. Let’s leave Sakura to her rest, it’s getting late enough.”

Outside the sky was caught between the ghost of gold and budding night. In a little while the first stars would probably twinkle into view.  It got dark so fast, like the sky was a drain and all the gold had fallen through to a place Sakura couldn’t see.

Sakura wrote the check and a note to Temari, thanking her for being so understanding, before seeing the boys off at the front. By the time they were out the door there was silver in the sky. Gaara turned to wave her goodbye and the moonlight caught in his pretty green eyes. Sakura nearly froze at the way he looked back at her. It was an image she didn’t believe she could ever forget.

“I hope you sleep well tonight,” she said, not knowing if he heard her.

Gaara’s lip quivered before pulling upwards. “You too.”

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Ascendance of a Bookworm – 040

Freida’s Hairpins

Lutz and I leave Freida’s house, commencing our journey home. She just saw us off with a smile, but why do I feel like I’m fleeing for my life? All we did was eat sweets and chat a little, but why am I more exhausted than when I go to the forest?

“Ah, have you finished your negotitions?”
“Mister Mark?”

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anonymous asked:

Can you recommend me some smutty Rumbelle?

I certainly can! Hold onto your enchanted hats and hide the children, ‘cause Belle and Rumple striking each other’s deals all night long is what Rumbelle does best.

We did WHAT?

Read on for my favorites— if I’ve missed some of yours, please add to the list.

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I want your attention in this room. Your eyes on mine. Sit you down, hop onto your pot of gold. You make me come alive. Swing it to the left, swing it to the right. Strutting on the stage, center of the lights. Dripping in smiles, they come on down. Take your seat now. Put on a private show. Pull the curtains until they close. I put on a private show. We’ll be whiling all on the low. Work it, work it, boy watch me work it. Slide down my pole, watch me spin it and twerk it. Work it, work it, boy watch me work it. Slide down my pole, watch me spin it and twerk it. Put on a private show. Pull the curtains until they close. I put on a private show. We’ll be whiling all on the low.
—  Private Show by Britney Spears