I can't be positive. I've tried my hardest the past couple days, but life keeps screwing with me. I can't take it anymore. It hurts so much. I don't know what to do. I feel like my only option is to kill myself because I have so much anxiety that keeps me from doing things and living life. I hate it so much. I literally hide all day everyday in my house. I have no friends. I'm failing my classes no matter how hard I try. I can't do anything right.
First I want to tell you its going to be okay. It may not seem like it now, but its going to be okay. I’m here for you. <3
Second, I want you to take a few deep breaths to try and relax the swirling storm of negativity in your mind right now. I have days like that and for awhile my every day was like that. When I feel the complete bombardment of rapid bad thoughts, I stop and I breathe. Sometimes it also helps to say something positive to yourself like “its going to be okay” or you can picture something that brings you joy or calmness. The idea is to try to bring the hurricane down to maybe a tropical storm.
So my first piece of advice to you is to seek help if you haven’t already. It sounds like you have a lot of pain and hurt in you that you have to process and speaking with a therapist can help you greatly! You may be able to find low cost help at universities and organizations. So if that is an option for you, I encourage you to find help because you absolutely deserve it!
Now if that isn’t an option I can give you some things to do to try and help:
- Make a list of things that make you happy - It doesn’t matter if the list only has 3 things on it, or if they seem trivial. The point is that you show yourself that there are some things left in this world that can make you smile, things that are important to you. Try and keep this list on hand for when you need to be reminded of those things
- Practice Self-Care - Having anxiety is exhausting and draining on our egos. Most of the day is a bombardment of hurtful and even abusive put downs on ourselves. Thats way its especially important to practice self-care to try and combat the negativity. This doesn’t need to be grand or extravagant. Taking a simple bath, watching your favorite movie, or even just being kind to yourself is all self-care.
- Find 1 positive thing each day - This can be ANYTHING. That cool looking cloud you saw, you got to pet a dog, you had a nice convo with someone, nothing is too trivial!
- Anti-Anxiety Barrier - Okay this is something I recently started doing thats been working well for me. I have this oversized super comfy pink hoodie that I named the “Anti-Anxiety Hoodie” which means anxiety is NOT ALLOWED inside my hoodie so when I wear it its like a barrier. You can do this with any piece of clothing or a blanket. You’re basically giving your anxiety boundaries. so you can at least have some moments of peace.
These are the only ones I’m going to list because I don’t want to overwhelm you and I know you probably don’t have a lot of energy to try a lot of different things, I find these to be the ones that will take the least amount of energy to do but can really help you. I truly believe you can get through this. It will be okay! I’m always here for you if you need a friend <3
If thoughts of suicide persist please contact one of the hotlines listed here
*I am not nor am i claiming to be a licensed therapist*