and most of these people have done so for years and years!

Ugh P.8 [Peter Parker] [Soulmate AU]

Originally posted by yourcoffeeguru


Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, more angst, mentions of pain etc

A/N: This still feels a little rushed to me, but also not?? I dunno. If I forgot to tag you, pls shoot me an ask or a msg! I lose track of things, esp my taglist ;-; Also- I swear I love you guys <3

Part 7Masterlist


It took everything in him to be able to say those words to you. He wanted to let you say whatever it was you had to say, even though he was sure he didn’t want to hear it. He wanted to say he was strong enough to just be friends with you- to get to know you and learn you but not be able to love you. It would be a lie, but he didn’t have to tell you that. Still, it should be better this way, shouldn’t it? He could keep you safe from a distance. No one would suspect that you knew he was Queens hero. He also wouldn’t have to know you- so it wouldn’t hurt so much, right? He’d be fine right?

Keep reading

Here we go, another hot topic to be addressed because once again, it’s getting on my nerves and again, it’s to do with Johnny. It’s about how people are getting angry that he is still appearing in movies after all the drama with his ex, Amber. It’s quite ridiculous that people are getting angry about this. He is an incredible actor and deserves to redeem himself in the public eye because all this happened mid last year! It’s now nearly 2018, over a year has past. People need to move on and get over it because producers of movies, other actors and Johnny himself have so why can’t the public? There are many other things happening in the world that people should be concerned with rather than what is happening in celebrities lives. It’s not even 100% known if all of this really happened so all this hate towards him could really be for nothing. A few of his ex’s, his daughter and others have stuck up for him in this providing information against the accusations and if people that close to him believe in him then why can’t others? People are mainly mad about his appearance in the second Fantastic Beasts movie because of his brief sighting in the end of the first one. The second movie won’t be out until late 2018 which will be over two years since this drama, almost three years and that’s a long time to still be talking about it! A producer of the movie said they cast Johnny because “He’s an iconic actor and we needed an iconic actor to play this part. Johnny’s created two or three iconic people, people who are unforgettable. He makes choices and that was really, really important… He was an absolute pleasure to work with.” A director of the film also said “What you have to remember about Johnny is that extraordinary talent and that talent never goes away. Hollywood is such a fickle place. People go up and go down.” Even JK Rowling had something to say about Johnny appearing in the Fantastic Beasts movie. She said “He’s obviously a cameo in this film but going forward will obviously be more important. Watching Johnny create a character is really quite remarkable, it’s fascinating. It’s great as a writer to work with people like that.” If these people who are very involved with this film can see how good of a man he is then why can’t others? Even is co-stars of his most recent film said how much of a pleasure it was to work with him and how great of a man he is.

Johnny is a great man and what people are failing to see is that even though the accusation was that Johnny hit his now ex wife, his ex wife has been previously convicted of abuse herself but nobody is talking about that now are they? I am not saying it’s acceptable to hit others but in this day and age, people would applaud if it was a male abuser who was abused because they’d say that he got what he deserved but because in this situation, it was a woman abuser who was supposedly hit then everyone is loosing their mind over it and calling the man an animal. To me that is seriously wrong. Everything is one sided these days. Why is there never any justice for men but there always is justice for women? What’s that all about?! Johnny was never even convicted of this accusation and both him and Amber made a joint statement during their divorce which said “Our relationship was intensely passionate and at times, volatile, but always bound by love. Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain. There was never an intent of physical or emotional harm”. 

I personally believe that Johnny didn’t do it and there is alot of evidence floating around that can support that but Johnny and Amber knows what really happened, Amber could have made it up to take light away from her own abuse accusations made against her or for some other reason or Johnny may have done it but not intentionally, he’s never done that in the past so something must have pushed him to do it, for example, the death of his mother last year which was very close to the accusation in question. People stricken with a big loss and grief can become angry because of that and it may have caused him to loose his temper at Amber. A mother is the biggest part of somebody’s life and once you loose your mother it’s a huge part of you gone too so it’s understandable to be angry. None of us know though, we could throw suggestions around for days but it won’t do anything. You are still entitled to have your opinion on this whole thing but we can’t go around acting like we know what really happened because we don’t. All we are going by is the information the media has provided us with and even the media have been known to stretch the truth so just be opened minded about this please or just leave this whole ordeal alone because it’s almost two years later! Just be kind to one another. 

So, back in my sophomore year of high school, I did a little experiment. I’m sure the original idea has crossed your dashboard at one point, but when I was younger (and still kind of am now) I was pretty meek. I’d move out of the way of anyone headed in my direction. It mostly had to do with my height, because I’m pretty short and most of the males at my school towered over me. Anyway, one day I decided not to move out of the way for anyone, specifically males.

This tall guy kept walking and refused to budge. He literally kept going so that he was pushing me backwards.

I still laugh about it now, because how much of a self-centred asshole do you have to be to keep walking so that you’re pushing someone much smaller than you backwards, without a single glance in their direction.

Yeah, fuck him.

But what really gets me? It happened, again. Sophomore year of college. I’ve just walked my friend out to her car, and now I’m climbing the stone steps leading to the entrance of the school. I’m the only one on these stairs, okay? It’s just me. I’m about halfway up when this guy turns the corner with his friend, and I swear to all that is holy that he probably places himself in my path on purpose. He’s looking right at me as he descends.

I’m not moving, because hey, I’m walking with the rail on my right side and my hand is on it. It’s the unspoken rule that you stick to the right, so why the hell should I even move? By all rights he should be shifting over.

Only, he doesn’t. And he shoulders me rather hard as he passes.

Fucking prick.

docs.google.com
Meg freaks out about her blog
For the past couple of months I have felt conflicted about the content I post on my blog. This is just so I can clear up some things.

Hello Everyone,

So as you know i have had this blog for almost a year now. Throughout that year I have experimented writing different genres, different pairings and ideas. Now with the year almost ending and I have been very nervous about this blog.

I don’t hate it! It’s just that I am never really quite sure whether people actually like the content I post. The things that gets the most recognition are my old head cannons and the occasional one shot.

If you have time, take a few minutes to honestly answer the questions in this survey. It will encourage me to actually write again and actually write stuff you wanna read!

SO um yeah kay cool this is awkward i am done bye

Patience yields focus.
youtube

A YEAR WITHOUT A PRESIDENT

It seems like forever, but it was just one year ago that Donald Trump was elected president. So what have we learned about the presidency and who is running the country? 

1. The first big thing we’ve learned is that Trump is not really the president of the United States – because he’s not governing.

A president who’s governing doesn’t blast his Attorney General for doing his duty and recusing himself from an FBI investigation of the president.

A president who’s governing doesn’t leave the top echelons of departments and agencies empty for almost a year.

He doesn’t publicly tell his Secretary of State he’s wasting time trying to open relations with North Korea. Any president with the slightest interest in governing would already know and approve of what his Secretary of State was doing.

He doesn’t fire half his key White House staff in the first nine months, creating utter chaos.

A president who is governing works with his cabinet and staff to develop policy. He doesn’t just tweet new public policy out of the blue – for example, that transgender people can’t serve in the military. His Secretary of Defense is likely to have some thoughts on the matter – and if not consulted might decide to ignore the tweet.

He doesn’t just decide to withdraw from the Paris Accord without any reason or analysis.

A president who is governing works with Congress. He doesn’t just punt to Congress hard decisions – as he did with DACA, the Iran nuclear deal, insurance subsidies under the Affordable Care Act, and details of his tax plan.

He doesn’t tell a crowd of supporters that he’s ended the Clean Power Plan – “Did you see what I did to that? Boom, gone” – when any such repeal requires a legal process, and must then withstand court challenges.

Instead of governing, Donald Trump has been insulting, throwing tantrums, and getting even:

Equating white supremacists with people who protest against them. Questioning the patriotism of NFL players who are peacefully protesting police violence and racism.

Making nasty remarks about journalists, about his predecessor as president, his political opponent in the last election, national heroes like Congressman John Lewis and Senator John McCain, even the mayor of San Juan Puerto Rico.

Or he’s busy lying and then covering up the lies. Claiming he would have won the popular vote if millions hadn’t voted fraudulently for his opponent – without a shred of evidence to support his claim, and then setting up a fraudulent commission to find the evidence.

Or firing the head of the FBI who wouldn’t promise to be more loyal to him than to the American public.

A president’s job is to govern. Trump doesn’t know how to govern, or apparently doesn’t care. So, logically, he’s not President.

2. The second thing we’ve learned is that Trump’s influence is waning.  

Since he lost the popular vote, his approval ratings have dropped even further. One year in, Trump is the least popular president in history with only 37 percent of Americans behind him.

Most Republicans still approve of him, but that may not be for long.

He couldn’t get his pick elected to a Senate primary in Alabama, a state bulging with Trump voters.

Republican senators refused to go along with his repeal of the Affordable Care Act. And they’re taking increased interest in Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

Business leaders deserted him over his remarks over Charlottesville. They vacated his business advisory councils.

NFL owners have turned on him over his remarks about players. Tom Brady, who once called Trump “a good friend,” now calls him “divisive” and “wrong.”

There’s no question he’s violated the Constitution. There are at least three grounds for impeachment – his violation of the emoluments clause of the Constitution by raking in money from foreign governments, his obstruction of justice by firing the head of the FBI, and his failure to faithfully execute the law by not implementing the Affordable Care Act. And a fourth if he or his aides colluded with Russia in the 2016 election.

But both houses of Congress would have to vote for his removal, which won’t happen unless Democrats win control in 2018 or Republicans in Congress decide Trump is a political liability.

3. The third big thing we’ve learned is where the governing of the country is actually occurring.

Much is being done by lobbyists for big business, who now swarm over the Trump administration like honey bees over a hedgerow of hollyhocks.

But the real leadership of America is coming from outside the Trump administration.

Leadership on the environment is now coming from California – whose rules every automaker and many other corporations have to meet in order to sell in a state that’s home to one out of eight Americans.

Leadership on civil rights is coming from the federal courts, which have struck down three different versions of Trump’s travel ban, told states their voter ID laws are unconstitutional, and pushed police departments to stop profiling and harassing minorities.

Leadership on the economy is coming from the Federal Reserve Board, whose decisions on interest rates are more important than ever now that the country lacks a fiscal policy guided by the White House.

Most of the rest of leadership in America is now coming from the grassroots – from people all over the country who are determined to reclaim our democracy and make the economy work for the many rather than the few.

They stopped Congress from repealing the Affordable Care Act.

They’re fighting Education Secretary Betsy DeVos’s plan to spend taxpayer money on for-profit schools and colleges that cheat their students.

They’re fighting EPA director Scott Pruitt’s crusade against climate science.

And Attorney General Jeff Sessions’s attempts to tear down the wall between church and state.

They’re fighting against the biggest tax cut for the wealthy in American history – that will be paid for by draconian cuts in services and dangerous levels of federal debt.

They’re fighting against the bigotry, racism, and xenophobia that Trump has unleashed.

And they’re fighting for a Congress that, starting with next year’s midterm elections, will reverse everything Trump is doing to America.

But their most important effort – your effort, our effort – is not just resisting Trump. It’s laying the groundwork for a new politics in America, a new era of decency and social justice, a reassertion of the common good.

Millions are already mobilizing and organizing. It’s the one good thing that’s happened since Election Day last year – the silver lining on the dark Trump cloud.

If you’re not yet part of it, join up.

People need to know there is no one like NU’EST Ren, he’s been destroying gender norms and standing for what he believes in since 2012, He’s truly one in a million! #BornThis_RenDay

It’s Ren’s 22nd Birthday today! So I thought I’d write this to let people know how unique Ren is as an idol. Theres many reasons why a fan might stan an idol, but it warms my heart seeing the warm and genuine Love given to Ren today! People have been inspired by everything he stands for and confidence in fighting for what he believes in since day 1.

- Despite being only 16 when he debuted as NU’EST maknae in 2012, he has always challenged gender stereotypes

Ren is basically obsessed with Lady Gaga, and wants to be his fans strength like her. Even in 2012, his debut teaser is obviously inspired by Gaga. Although in the beginning, he said, he did like stuff like long hair and nail art, Pledis kinda OTT ‘girly’ image was forced on him and caused him a lot of trouble, constant misgendering and harassment. But eventually he did grow confident and even had his long blond hair for over 2 years. 

-He challenged Gender Norms yet Again in 2016 in a viral Chinese CF, where he both wore “Men’s” and ‘Women’s” clothing

His Instagram caption said “Am I a Man or Women? I am a Man😂, Fashion Makes a Person and Their Impression” he said people can wear whatever they want to, it doesn’t matter what gender you are. He yet again showed he was a role model to fans who struggled to be accepted. 

-When told he was “Like a girl” by an MC, he replied with “Thank You” He doesn’t consider being called a girl an insult.


In fact I could tell Mingi was pretty angry on the inside, but he remained polite as always, and confidently answered that it made him happy, what a legend!

-The same MC pushed him further trying to insult him by saying he likes to wear Women’s cloths- he calmly replied “I like it,”

Seriously how many idols do you know who’d react like Ren did?! Most male idols masculinity is so fragile they’d try to refuse it imediently; but like I said Ren is one in a million. I love him so much for never taking shit from anyone, and always pushing for equality when it came to fashion/clothing. Its kinda sad most kpop fans don’t know all the times Ren has shut haters and misogynists down! 

-He stands for the causes he believes in, such as wearing the Sewol Ferry Disaster bracelet every single day

-He owns and wears many items that are for Charity, such as MaryMond

He told a fan he feels its meaningful to help people, which really shows how pretty his heart is. The thing is he did all of these things secretly, even before NU’EST became famous this year. He’s always been like this.

-He has always posted about Human Tragedies and natural disasters on his social media to raise awareness

-He constantly tell’s his fans they are perfect the way they are don’t need to change and a pretty heart is the thing that makes you beautiful

Personally, when I saw he said this years ago, i really fell for him. Whenever I hate myself or my appearance, I always remember Ren said this, and feel better … cos honestly it’s true. Even thought he himself is not always confident, he tries to make loves confident, and showers us with love daily irl or in the fancafe. In a country and industry obsessed with physical appearance, for him to say this is pretty progressive and a big deal!

-He’s done countless other amazing things like cheer the Produce 101 trainees up when everyone was depressed, even though he was hurting himself and is always the life and soul of NU’EST, he always protects and cheers up his members.

In conclusion Choi Mingi aka Ren of NU’EST has been mercilessly tearing down Gender and societal norms, while standing up for what he believes him with a confidence few idols have, since he was 16 years old.

Stan a Man who is beautiful inside and out, a total diva, no.1 Gaga fan, powerful maknae and absolute LEGEND REN!! 

✧ *.🎃Samhain Solitary Rituals🎃*✧

As the air grows cooler and the winds begin to howl and rip the dead leaves from trees, we know the veil is thin and Samhain is near! After the equinox, which was equal parts night and day, Samhain marks the time of the wheel that we descend into the darker half of the year. It’s this time of the year that communication and connection to the spirit world is a lot easier and we’ve grown accustomed to making wards to protect the home from malevolent energy in the form of jack o lanterns and lights. On a positive note it is a time to leave out treats and foods for passed away loved ones and to remember them. It’s the final harvest full of well spiced comfort autumn foods as well as a ‘New Year’ since it’s a sabbat that honors the natural cycle of death and sees it as a form of transformation.

A lot of us witches practice alone and have our own solitary rituals for each sabbat that we observe (or the ones we’ve created just for ourselves that we observe alone!) Like any solitary eclectic witch I do things my own different way but some of these things might line up with others practices. I do refer to some of the equinoxes/solstices/crossquarters by their celtic sabbat names but I celebrate them in a secular animist way and treat the wheel of the year I celebrate as more of an argrarian cycle and celebrating nature. I use sabbat names as a point of reference and also people that do celebrate these witches sabbats more traditionally might find value in my personal practice!  Here is my personal correspondences post and my personal samhain tag!

When I am alone and casting spells a lot of it is visualization/intent so my solitary rituals are more like activities I like to do then specifically casting a spell. If I am doing a spell with an activity based on it a lot would be listening to music to get in the mood and focusing on a candle while visualizing for a period of time! Eves are also important to my celebration as I like to stay up until midnight and cast a spell then!


Hallow’s Eve

Tuesday October 31st 2017

  • Dressing up in your most witchiest
    Ok every year I’m a witch, whether it’s just a lazy witch in my black clothing or an over the top kitschy witch with colorful hair and electric colored make up, but I just like to have these looks casually on Halloween day cause its amazing and a chance for me to be myself!

  • Pumpkin Carving!
    If you haven’t already tonight is definitely the night for pumpkin carving! Write sigils inside your pumpkin for protective magic. I love this DIY for a pumpkin indoor lantern cause it shows how to rub spices like cinnamon and nutmeg inside to achieve that sent of pumpkin pie in the home. Use electric candles instead of flame if you want it to last the night since the flame’s heat will cook the pumpkin.

  • Mini Pumpkin Tea lights
    Also an easier alternative to carving if you don’t have much time. Even gutting the mini pumpkins takes a lot of time for me but doing so and filling them with a black tea light will make an excellent centerpiece either for your altar or feast table!

  • Making Candy Apples
    I associate candy coated sweet red apples with halloween (and caramel/maple sugar on granny smith for mabon) and I love how you can make the candy various colors like a poisonous black or vibrant blood red!

  • Setting sweets aside for spirits
    So everyone has spirits that chill with them and it would be great to show appreciation for the positive spirits that surround you. Set some sweets on a dish and make a tiny altar for them in your space.

  • Enjoying sweets while doing crafts!
    Enjoy some of that halloween candy for yourself! My favorite treats on this night are chocolate coated donuts, reeses cups, cider sugar donuts, red licorice and apple cider.

  • Watching a spooky or Halloween themed movie
    Or halloween themed film. My favorite will always be the 80s halloween special The Worst Witch with Tim curry. I watch it religiously.

  • Spirit Contact
    I wouldn’t suggest using an Ouija board or doing any communication with spirits if you have never had experience. They can be rude and harass you, YET if you are experienced and know how to guard yourself, then this is a great night to play with an ouija board! (PS I think Ouija Girl has a great informative blog about working with ouija boards. Here is her FAQ page. But still, it’s always better to do work with a medium or someone with experience than trying to figure it out alone).

    A safer experience for someone with no spirit communication experience is attending a seance! In NYC there are a few mediums that hold seances monthly. I love the one at Catland in Brooklyn, the mediums that host the event there are fantastic. It might be hard to attend an authentic one on Halloween night since a lot of people will want to just try to cash in on creating a 'spooky’ experience, but if you really want, try to get in contact with mediums and ask if they host any seance events. Important to know: usually the spirits that chill around you are guides and family and they might have more info to give you then you might be ready for. My first seance I really don’t know what to do with the info given to me but I really hope I make the best of it and don’t mess anything up.

  • Witches Flight
    This is like an extension of the previous point where if you have never done this before just completely disregard this suggestion cause flying is dangerous. For many years witches have flown on Halloween night to other realms using flying ointments.

  • Protective Magic:
    Finally, protect yourself from the high spirit activity with crystals like black tourmaline, obsidian and spirit quartz. Do protective spells for any cats you see or live with especially black cats since they tend to be targets.
      

Midnight Spell:

  • This sabbat honors the natural cycle of death and transformation. Focus on what you want to transform in your life. Magic on this night is very powerful so think about it before hand and make sure it is what you want for if you ask to transform something, you might find a lot of endings that suddenly occur in your life to lead to the transformations that you want. (There was a conversation on here I can no longer find but it was put  really nicely that death is not just some simple 'transformative’ process it can be very drastic, often very uncomfortable and if you are not ready though you ask for something to change, you might not be ready for the new obstacles that will be thrown at you. Just know that you will be ready for what you ask for.)
  • Some spell activities can be shuffling the deck visualizing what you want to change and then finding the death card and seeing the card that follows will be your answer to seek how you can further bring that transformation closer.
  • I’m a mixologist and enjoy working with liquor for rituals. I find fire to be a great transformer yet instead of burning something I prefer blessing a shot of whiskey or absinthe with my intent then taking it like liquid fire to transform me within. If you do not like alcohol or can not drink it for whatever reason you can perform this with hot apple cider instead!



Samhain Day

Wednesday, November 1st 2017

  • Upon the day I like to dress in complete black. My makeup is very dark and I wear long black dresses and veils. Depending on how you want to honor the dead, dress how you wish.

  • Gravesweeping
    Visit your loved ones on this day and leave flowers and gifts on their grave! If you want you can also visit any cemetery, yet make sure to practice good graveyard etiquette. Leave a penny by the gate, do not sit or lean on any tomb stones, of course don’t take anything from a grave. Be respectful of those whom are resting.

  • Close Your Garden
    This is a time to close the garden for the winter to come. Harvest the last fruits and herbs and bring in any delicate potted plants within the home.

  • Shadow Work
    Especially if you are looking to transform some aspect of your life this is a great time to do shadow work and look within if you are creating any obstacles for yourself. Get to know your shadow self, get to solve problems together. This is also an excellent day for divination and scrying.

  • Meditation and Energy Work by the base of a tree
    I love to do energy work on the days of the sabbats yet as the earth grows colder, the roots dig deeper and the world goes into hibernation. Sit at the base of a tree preferably with thick roots and feel it’s connection to the cold earth beneath you. Dig into yourself and see what needs to rest and what needs to be healed.

Evening
Celebratory Feast

  • So in many practices people like to host a dumb supper but instead I like to have a lively feast where everyone will share a story about someone they loved that passed away or a story of an ancestor in their family. At the end of each tale we toast our glasses to them! (And pour a little bit of drink to them or set aside a snack if they are not into alcohol.)

  • Hold a feast of rich comfort foods that are spiced and sweet like sweet potato mash, candied brown beans, pumpkin bread, smokey bourbon pulled pork or maple glazed beef brisket, roasted carrots and beets and (I personally love to make baked mac and cheese but its a fall comfort soul food for me). My Samhain feast is abundant with fall soul foods and sweet roots and spices. (here is a fantasy feast post and my personal feast post from last year)

  • If you are alone (as this is a solitary post), make a few fall dishes you deeply enjoy or cook the favorites of loved relatives that have passed away, eat some sweets and set out some offerings to passed away loved ones.
CASTIEL AND HIS SACRED OATH - 12x10, 12x12, 12x23

This scene here. This split second glance is so so important. I don’t know why people aren’t talking about it (I couldn’t even find any gifs of it and had to take pictures coz I’m computerly incompitent). But I wanted to give my own analytical response to this millisecond glance, because I think it demonstrates properly why Cas has never done anything about his feelings for Dean. 

First, some context from my behalf: I always assumed Cas had never admitted his love for Dean for one of two reasons, 1) he was an angel, therefore not quite understanding his feelings himself - perhaps confusing them with familial love, Dean style. Or 2) he was afraid his love may not be reciprocated. But after watching 12x10, 12x12 and 12x23, I can thoroughly rule out reason 1. 

Now, I’ll be talking a lot about 12x10 as that ENTIRE EPISODE and THIS LOOK are so closely correlated. 

Keep reading

I said I was gonna do it so I actually did it this time. Here is a list of my personal favorite (the best) covers that Panic! At The Disco & co. has done. the numbers are links to other versions/videos, let me know if I made a mistake anywhere this was written out pretty late.

I will probably add to it as time goes on.

Here is a playlist of these covers.

ARE YOU STILL SCREAMING ABOUT THOR: RAGNAROK? BECAUSE I’M STILL SCREAMING ABOUT IT. I need so much slice-of-life on the ship fic, I need so much kissing-and-more resolution to the hug scene, I need so much speculation on what happens when they get to where they’re going, I need so much about the various friendships forming, I need so much fic about a whole bunch of people crammed into a relatively small ship for months and the hilarious and awful things that happen because of it. AND FANDOM IS DEFINITELY ON A ROLL WITH IT, THERE’S MORE GREAT STUFF.  (Part one is here!)

THOR: RAGNAROK FIC RECS:
The Breath Between Regrets by Vera (Vera_DragonMuse), thor/loki & valkyrie & heimdall & hulk & korg, ragnarok spoilers, 9.5k
   The journey to Midgard should take a year and a day. Long enough for many things.
What the Thunder Said by kyrilu, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k
   Days after the battle, Thor’s skin is still sparking lightning.
the silver forked sky by powerfulsound, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, nsfw, 1.2k
   There is a storm, sparking under Thor’s skin. Attracted to it, a magpie to shiny things, Loki is helpless in Thor’s wake.
Reunion by riventhorn, thor/loki, nsfw, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k
   After so long apart, Loki can’t help being drawn to Thor.
Privilege to love by will_thewisp, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 2.6k
   He didn’t know why Loki felt the need to fight him on every ground, to hide things that had no business being hidden, but he was determined to meet him on every occasion. To Thor it seemed that Loki fought with himself as much as with Thor.
followed you down by homovikings, thor/loki & heimdall & valkyrie & tony & sif & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 5.3k
   It’s Asgard but it isn’t.
drowning on your shore by psikeval, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k
   Loki, entirely solid, does not flicker and does not flinch.
In my Arms by wetdandelions, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 1.2k
   “I’m here,” says Loki. Set after the end of Thor: Ragnarok. PWP. SPOILERS.
In the Flesh by hjbender, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, intersex!loki, 6.3k
   Loki stares back, gives the stopper a gentle toss. It sparkles briefly in the air before he catches it again. “There isn’t anything else you’d like to give me? Nothing you’d like to say? Because”—he spreads his arms and smiles invitingly, both hands suddenly empty—“here I am.”
Nowhere Is Home Unless We’re Both In the Same Place by Velocity_Owl87, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k
   After the dust has settled, Thor realizes the implications of Kingship and Asgard’s future mean for him as the new King of Asgard. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to grapple with the situation alone, at least.
Heroes Run Towards Their Problems by Naiveandoptimistic, thor & loki & valkyrie & hulk & korg & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 1.6k
   Post-Ragnarok. Valkyrie is a drunken hot mess. Loki conceals, Hulk worries, and Thor gives some wisdom.
Not an Illusion by janto321 (FaceofMer), thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k
   Loki and Thor find comfort in one another
black sheep and mischief by grim_lupine, thor & loki, ragnarok spoilers, 3.2k
   A bird alights on Thor’s shoulder and pecks his cheek twice, hard enough to make him wince. “What are you doing?” it warbles in his ear. “Wondering what my brother is doing up at this hour, little bird,” Thor replies. “Will you go ask him for me?”
Never Doubt That I Love You by ValkyrieShepard, thor/loki & heimdall & valkyrie & hulk & cast, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 10.6k
   After Thor’s proposal, Loki pulls away. As Thor is busy trying to rule his people, Loki finds him again, and the two of them scout a possible planet for their people where Thor tries to get through his brother’s walls. There is much Loki has to work through.
after you, i dont know what i believe in by CallicoKitten, thor/loki & valkyrie & bruce & heimdall & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 9.6k
   aka, the long road to midgard
Crossroads by kyrilu, loki & heimdall, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k
   As Loki leaves Sakaar with a shipload of former prisoners, Heimdall decides to ‘visit.’
victory runes by spookykingdomstarlight, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 3.3k
   A snake couldn’t change its colors, try as he might, trust his own intentions as he wanted to. At this moment, legs braced on either side of Thor’s lap, he couldn’t imagine doing anything to undermine Thor’s rule, his wants, his needs. But tomorrow was another day and Loki’s whims were mercurial.

full details + recs under the cut!

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“Hey, Barold?” 

“Yes, dear?”

“Are you dead?”

Barry’s head pokes into the dining room table, the Neverwinter Times folded into his hands. He looks down at himself, pokes his own nose. “I don’t think so? I don’t look dead.”

Lup looks him up and down, then says, “Yep, you really don’t.”

“Why?”

In response, Lup takes the package she’s been holding, grabs it by the ends, and turns it on its head. Letters - bundled into packs bound with black ropes, spare ones scratched on torn napkins, envelopes-within-envelopes written in deep dark ink - spill all over the table.

“What are these?”

“Consolation letters,” Lup says, grinning. She plucks the first one off the table, slits it with a brightly-painted red nail, and begins to read. “‘Dear Lup Taaco, my cult and I would like to express our condolences for your loss.’ Aww, that’s so sweet, they’re cult-bonding.”

Barry narrows his eyes. “Is that a necromantic cult or a religious one?”

“Dunno.” She tosses it aside, picks up another one. “‘Dear IPRE, sorry for your loss. We hope Barry feels better soon. We know most people don’t feel better after being dead but he’s done it before.’”

Barry drifts forward, looking at the stack in apprehension and slight awe. He picks one up at random, skims it, and turns white. “Why do these people think I’m dead?”

“Don’t know, but there’s definitely a consensus, babe,” Lup says. “Aww, someone sent a bunch of dead flowers! I’ll pass them onto Merle.”

“Lup, no, this is weird. This - this is weird.”

“Yeah, for sure,” she says, leafing through the next letters. The mound grows intimidatingly the more Barry looks at it. “What did you do?”

“I - I don’t know.”

“Huh. Maybe someone started a dumb rumor. You never know the kinda shit floating around Faerun these days.”

True? Okay. Okay, no, this is just another mystery. Maybe there are clues in the truly preposterous number of letters sitting on the table. Carefully, Barry picks the first one up, a letter wrapped in a satin ribbon and addressed in dark ink so black it almost looks tar. He tears it open gently and sets the envelope aside, then begins to read.

Dear Miss Lup,

I’m really really sorry your husband is dead. I want you to know that my mom and my dad love him too and that if you ever need someone to talk to because death is a really really bad thing then you can send us a letter any time. I’d give you my mom’s frequency but I don’t know it.

Love,

Carnila

Below is an address. It’s from the far east, a remote village that Barry only knows because he passed through there while hunting for Lup a couple of years into his search.

He’s not freaking out so much as very, very confused. He’s certain he’s alive. Pulse beating in his throat and everything. So why does everyone think he’s dead?

He goes through a couple more without finding any clues. Most are of the same vein - sorry for your loss, hope you’re doing better. A couple recommend Lup some therapists in Neverwinter. Two cite him as his inspiration for practicing necromancy. He’s gonna need to pay those fans a personal visit. Probably with his scythe.

“Barry?” Lup says after a little while. She’s set the letters down and is now looking at him strangely.

He opens another one. This one’s written in blue ink. All the others have been black. Really goes to show what kind of person picked Barold J. Bluejeans, lich and necromancer-turned-reaper extraordinaire, as their favorite of the seven birds. “Yes, dear?”

“When you died, you picked up your bodies, right?”

Barry freezes. He thinks back to those ten years on his own, dying repeatedly. He’d had a process - he’d freak out, flicker a little bit, and pull himself together - with admirable speed and courage, of course. Then he’d grab his jeans (can’t leave those behind), a couple hairs, a bunch of blood (which wasn’t typically too hard to collect), the coin, some supplies, and take off for Wave Echo Cave.

He’d leave the body, though. He didn’t need it.

“Barold J. Bluejeans,” she snaps, setting down her letter with a thwack on the table. “Did you leave your corpses strewn all around this continent?”

“I only needed a little blood to make a new body!” he yelps. “I was a lich, it wasn’t like I could pick up my body and carry it with me!”

“You managed to keep the same clothes for ten years!”

“I’ve had these jeans for a hundred years, they’re precious to me!”

“That’s fair,” Lup says, grinning too widely to be angry. “So you’re telling me, these people stumbled across your dead body and thought it was you?”

“Probably,” he replies sheepishly. “I mean, in my defense, I didn’t think anyone would find it. I kinda fell off a mountain range.”

“And you didn’t go collect them when you got an actual body?” she asks, gesturing toward him.

“I was a little busy creating your body.”

Lup sighs, exasperated. She throws an envelope at him. It drifts unimpressively down to the table. “This is it, Barold. This is what you get when you don’t show up at press conferences ever. People start to think you’re literally dead.”

“I hate them,” he mumbles. “Too many spotlights and reporters and questions. I get all sweaty.”

“You’re one of the seven birds, babe. People want to know your story.”

“They already do, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, but they want to hear it from you.” She glances over her shoulder at the Taako Time™ calendar hanging on their wall and grins. “Babe, there’s one tomorrow and you’re going.”

“I don’t wanna,” he whines. “Lup, they…they suck. All the reporters and the microphones and the spotlights….”

“No arguments, dear,” Lup says, standing and crossing her arms over his head to rest her cheek on his hair. “Lucretia hates them too and she goes.”

“She was the Director of the Bureau of Balance, she’s good at that shit now,” Barry grumbles. “Besides, Davenport doesn’t have to answer questions.”

“Davenport’s at sea, babe. Getting to interview him is like finding a Shiny.”

Barry groans, tugs on a strand of Lup’s hair. It’s dyed red toward the ends. “If you loved me you wouldn’t make me go.”

“I love you,” Lup affirms, “so I’m making you go.”

“Can I at least - ”

“No, you can’t wear your tuxedo T-shirt. You have to wear the sweater vest I bought you.”

Barry slumps his head toward the table. Lup slides down his neck to rest her chin on his shoulder. “Cycle forty or sixty-eight,” he asks, words muffled by the table.

“Forty,” she decides. “I won’t make you do sequins.”

“Thank the Queen.” He straightens. There’s ink on his forehead. Lup laughs, then licks a thumb and wipes it away. “Gross.”

The letters flare in the corner of his vision. Sighing, Barry tugs Lup onto his lap. She sits with a laugh, gleeful and teasing, and reaches reaching for a letter of her own. Leaning her temple against his, she slices open another letter, and begins to read.

“Wow, babe,” she says after a couple minutes. “You’re really an inspiration for some up-and-coming dark magic babies.”

“I know,” he sighs. She chuckles and ruffles his hair affectionately. “I’m gonna have to go talk to them.”

Lup’s counterproposal is cut off by her Stone of Farspeech buzzing against her collarbone. She picks up without looking and says “Heyo, Blupjeans household, whaddya want?”

Barold J. Bluejeans!” screeches her brother’s voice through the receiver. Barry jumps. “You wanna explain to me why my dining table is fuckin’ swamped with condolence letters?!

Lup and Barry turn to stare at each other in horror. Then, right on cue, Barry’s Stone rings. He checks it. It’s Magnus’s signal. They stare at it.

“Oh Gods,” Lup groans, and picks up.

Barry? Barry, are you okay?” comes Magnus’s voice. There are a couple of dogs barking in the background, as there always are when Magnus calls. “I heard you were dead, I know it sucks, like, serious ass to be without a body, I wanted to check in, and also tell you that I’ve got a ticket for Neverwinter on hold if you need me down there - ” he says.

Lup and Barry exchange glances. Barry begins to laugh.

Instagram Is A Tiny Speck In The Ginormous Oil Painting of Life

One topic I think about obsessively: Instagram. More specifically, the psychological effect it has on me.

A while ago I posted a tweet saying I felt conflicted about social media, and the responses I got were surprising. People said that Facebook gave them anxiety, only going on certain sites when their mood was stable, whilst others deleted and re-activated their accounts regularly.

Illustration by Ana Galvan

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with these platforms but they have so many pros that it makes them hard to quit. They connect me to like-minded people, are informative, make me laugh and give me an instant connection to my fanbase. It’s amazing to feel a level of relation in real time. However, in the last year I’ve noticed that every time I go on Instagram I feel kind of flat + zapped afterwards, like somebody has literally sat on my brain for 5 minutes. It’s oddly deflating.

Social media apps are designed to make us addicted to them. Human behaviour is reward based and each time we get a “like” or a message, our brains release a hit of dopamine, which makes us feel rrrreeeeal good (until the dopamine level drops and we feel real bad). Instagram is basically digital meth. So, for the past year I’ve been deleting the app off my phone for large periods of time, then re-downloading it if I want to post something. Interestingly, the feeling I get upon returning is always the same: I’ve missed nothing!

I understand social media’s appeal most when in relation to constructing a fantasy world. I’ve used it as a creative tool on every album I’ve made. Tumblr was key to “Electra Heart” and Twitter was key to “FROOT”. But what at first seemed like an opportunity to communicate our thoughts in an uncensored way has become a vehicle for us to present ourselves in the way that we would like to be seen by others. And this is what makes me feel weird about posting sometimes. A review I read of the film ’Ingrid Goes West’ nailed this feeling: “We use these platforms to lie and intentionally curate our lives”. The curating part hits a chord with me. It makes me feel icky, because I’ve surely, if subconsciously, done this - the majority of us have if we’re using the platform. How do I get around that and use it in a healthier way? Do I just delete the whole thing or do I need to be aware of the reason I want to post something? i.e. Is it to share an image I love, or is to make people think of me in a certain way? The latter creeps me out. It scares me.

Illustration by Allegra Lockstadt

Recently, a friend said he had been going through a difficult period, so he hadn’t gone on Instagram for about a month. “Why would I? Everyone is having such a great time”. Ohhh, the digital illusion of happiness. OK, some people are genuinely having a great time, and they want to share that great time with you, but they’re not having a good time all the time. And that’s the key to remember when we’re embarking on a scrolling spree into the darkest depths of existential hell at 2am. Social media is a tiny speck in the ginormous oil painting of human life. We all have problems. We present the good parts of ourselves because it’s anathema to document the true nature of our lives, which inevitably consist of moments of disappointment, loneliness and embarrassment. None of these things look pretty or cool (no, not EVEN if you put the Mayfair filter on top of them), and I can totally see how it all started out innocently. We all love sharing special moments, but because these moments hold social currency online, we’re now doing only that. It’s easy to see how people can feel disappointed when their own lives don’t measure up in a similar way.

Illustration by Lan Truong

We’re still in the infancy of the internet, trying to navigate technology in a way that is beneficial to our lives, but I sense a shift towards a desire to portray our lives more realistically. I notice more people sharing an experience or story in the caption of a selfie/ photograph that provides more of a picture of their life than the actual photo ever could. But I still wonder how we can evolve online culture into a space that is less image-focused/ self-driven, because I worry about the psychological effects that an image-focused culture might have on a young person’s self-esteem. 20 years ago, posting a stream of pictures of only my face would have been considered borderline narcissistic, but now it’s normal. And I’m not judging this - I’m talking from the perspective of someone who has done this a’plenty and who has been a part of that culture, particularly at the height of an album campaign. Maybe all Instagram has done is magnify what seems to have always been true, that humans value beauty to excess.

Ok, I’ll end this post by saying this: If I never go on Instagram again, my life won’t lack anything because of it. Assuming I use it 20 minutes a day, I’ll get back 122 hours a year - for free! The reality is, I’ll probably continue to use it, but it’s important to me to see these platform for what they are, not what they appear to be. They’re addictive, comparative, take my time and give little back in return.

I’ll leave you with my fave comment which came from @FKASimon.

Quite, Simon, Quite.

Love, Marina

Ask a question or a share a thought here!

Some thoughts I’ve been mulling over for a while...

SJM Haters: “No diversity!” *Shoving aside canonically black High Lords Tarquin and the bisexual Helion, Thesan, Nesryn, all of the Southern Continent, etc*

SJM Haters: “Everyone is white!” *Punching the non-white Illyrian races, not to mention about 90% of the Summer Court*

SJM Haters: “They’re all heterosexual!” *Throws Thesan, Mor, Aedion, the Blackbeak Matron, Thea and Kaya off of a cliff* (Actually, feel free to throw the Matron off a cliff lmao)

SJM Haters: “Rowan is abusive” *blatantly ignores the fact that Rowan was literally tied to a queen who forced him to do terrible things, and he still found it in himself to love Aelin unconditionally*

SJM Haters: “She doesn’t tackle any important issues!” *Stepping on Rhysand’s history of sexual abuse, not to mention Lysandra’s history of sexual abuse, oh and also Aedion, whose nickname was literally ‘Adarlan’s Whore,’ and the slave trade, and the treatment of ‘lesser faeries’ in comparison to ‘High Fae.’*

I’m not trying to say that the ACOTAR/TOG books aren’t without their flaws. Every book, every movie, every song, every piece of artwork that has ever been created has a flaw in some way. Often, there are multiple flaws. It is okay to acknowledge these flaws. It is okay to even criticize them. What is not okay is discrediting the immense amount of work that SJM puts into these books. She released two (2) fantasy novels longer than 200,000 words in a single year. I don’t pretend to know everything that goes on at Bloomsbury Publishing, but I honestly believe that she did that for her fans. She started writing Throne of Glass when she was 16; she got it published 11 years later. Books take time; lots of it. Ask George RR Martin, who also tackles the heavy genre of fantasy, but he’s been working on Winds of Winter for six years. Do you think SJM would have wanted to go over these books for another year or combed through them just one more time before she published them? Yeah, probably. Every author, writer, fanfiction writer, artist, or whomever, wants just a bit more time to add those final details, to keep chipping away (because let me tell you, even when it’s done, we don’t feel like it’s done). But you know what else? She’s probably damn proud of them, too. As well she should be. The amount of times I find myself laughing with these characters and crying and screeching, it says enough. 

Keep reading

Q&A Time

Let’s get to know each other! Answer as many as you can to me privately.

1. Are looks important in a relationship?
2. Are relationships ever worth it?
3. Are you a virgin?
4. Are you in a relationship?
5. Are you in love?
6. Are you single this year?
7. Can you commit to one person?
8. Describe your crush
9. Describe your perfect mate
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
11. Do you ever want to get married?
12. Do you forgive betrayal?
13. Do you get jealous easily?
14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
15. Do you have any piercings?
16. Do you have any tattoos?
17. Do you like kissing in public?
20. Do you shower every day?
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
28. Have you ever been cheated on?
29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?
31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
41. Have you had sex so far this year?
42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?
43. How long was your longest relationship?
44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?
46. How many times did you have sex last year?
47. How old are you?
48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?
53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
54. Is there someone you will never forget?
55. Share a relationship story.
56. State 8 facts about your body
57. Things you want to say to an ex
58. What are five ways to win your heart?
59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)
60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
63. What is your definition of “having sex”?
64. What is your definition of cheating?
65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?
66. What is your favourite roleplay?
67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
68. What is your sexual orientation?
69. What turns you off?
70. What turns you on?
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
72. What words do you like to hear during sex?
73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?
77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
78. What’s your dirtiest secret?
79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?
80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
81. Who are five people you find attractive?
82. Who is the last person you hugged?
83. Who was your first kiss with?
84. Why did your last relationship fail?
85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

If you identify with Dan, don’t feel bad about wanting to talk about how you identify with Dan. You’re not making his story about you if the video made you want to talk about it; you’re doing exactly what he wanted, and keeping the conversation going. 

If you identify with Phil because someone you love is depressed, don’t feel bad about wanting to talk about how you identify with Phil or being curious about his side of it. You’re also doing exactly what Dan wanted, because depression impacts more than just the person who has it. 

If you find yourself trying to incorporate this new information about him into what you know of him as a person, you can do that. I think it’s a very natural response most people are having. I do think it’s important to keep in mind that Dan is not a different person today than he was a week ago - it’s just that we know something now we didn’t know then. And Dan is a public figure whose life we, as fans, follow. (Same for Phil, because this has also been a part of Phil’s life for the past eight years.) This should not change how anyone treats Dan but I think it is perfectly natural to do some introspection about what this might have meant to him at different points in his life. Dan did not make this video so no one would talk about it, or him. 

And finally: if you feel like you have feelings about this you need to process and you want to do it through writing meta posts on your own blog, through posting to a shared space, through drawing art, through writing fic, through interpretive basket weaving - do it. I can tell from my twitter feed and my tumblr dash and everywhere else I’m active online that this is hitting a lot of people deeply and personally. People work through emotions and inner turmoil in different ways. I have artist friends that say their art is therapy. I definitely know that writing is therapy for me. Don’t let anyone try to write off your method of emotional release just because it has to do with someone else’s life. 

Be respectful. Be considerate. Romanticizing mental illness is bad. Flat out, I will say that again: romanticizing mental illness is bad.  But creating something to express how you feel about a topic that is moving you emotionally is not inherently romanticizing. It’s okay to be inspired by someone else’s story. It can be done respectfully and this fandom is full of people who will do it respectfully, now in this immediate aftermath and for years to come. 

The Arrangement (pt 9)

“Is the child even mine, Y/N?”

You stare at him wide-eyed. Did he really just ask that? You felt like you couldn’t breathe in that moment. Jimin was actually being serious. He had actually thought that low of you. He had doubted your love and sincerity towards him. 
His faith in you had shattered and in turn, he had shattered your heart. 

You turned away from him, unable to look at him anymore. Jimin scoffed as you turned away, not noticing the single tear that fell from your eyes. You sat there in silence for another minute. Jimin was still fuming. He wanted answers from you and he wanted them now. 

Just as he was about to start yelling again, you cut him off. 

“You really want to know what’s going on between me and Tae?” you said with a straight face, wiping away the tears in your eyes. You take out your keys from your purse and push them into Jimin’s hands. “Go inside the house”

Jimin eyed the keys in his hands curiously. “Don’t avoid this conversation by telling me to go into the fucking house” he sneered at you. 

“Dammit Jimin just go into the house!” you almost yelled back. Jimin had finally noticed the pained expression on your face, but he didn’t care. He got out of the car and slammed the door behind him. You too had gotten out of the car, and walked lifelessly behind Jimin to the front door. 

Jimin managed to find the house keys amongst the many keychains you had and finally put the key in the door. As he tried to unlock the door, he noticed your hands in fists as you tried to control the shaking. You had wiped away your tears, but it was quite obvious that you were upset. 

Jimin finally unlocked the door and opened it to find a rather dark house. You both would usually leave at least a small lamp on so that you weren’t met with a dark house, but no such lights were on today. Jimin’s frustration only grew as he struggled to find the light switch near the entrance. Soon though, he found the switch and turned it on. 

“SURPRISE!!!” 

Jimin jumped back from the sudden burst of noise. Jimin looked around the house, only to find it full. Full of his family, friends, and various decorations. There in front of Jimin stood all of his favorite things. The most important people in his life and some of his friends he hadn’t seen in a very long time. There in front of him stood some family from out of the country that he had also missed seeing. There in front of him stood hundreds upon hundreds of decorations in all his favorite colors. Ballons were floating on the ceiling and banners and streamers filled the house. There was something childish yet classy about it and Jimin loved it. Jimin couldn’t even begin to take it all in. He just stood there and smiled at everyone like a fool, totally forgetting about the whole ordeal that happened in the car. 

Suddenly, a group of guys surrounded him and messed with his hair and gave him a few light hits and punches. “Happy Birthday, Jimin!” they said in turns. “Were you surprised??” asked Jungkook.

“How do you like it??” ask Namjoon. 

“We spent like hours with the decorations he better like it” said Hoseok.

“Hours? Well me and Y/N spent weeks, no months, planning this whole thing. We literally went shopping every week because she thought of something new to get. You must have known, right Jimin? Like weren’t you the least bit suspicious?” asked Taehyung as he threw his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. 

And that’s when it hit him. That’s when he remembered what he had just accused you of and Jimin’s heart sank. What had he just done. 

He turned around quickly, finally facing you with his eyes wide. You gave him the smallest of smiles and Jimin noticed your lips trembling as you tried your hardest to hold back tears and break down. “Happy Birthday, Jimin” you say in almost a whisper, but he could still hear it. 

He tries to reach out for you, but you walk away into the sea of guests. and before he can try again, he is greeted by more guests, blocking him entirely. 

You try your hardest to smile and greet guests, but you eventually excuse yourself to change into something a little comfortable. You all but run into your shared bedroom with Jimin and lock yourself into the bathroom. You finally let the tears fall freely and you cover your mouth to hold back the sobs. You don’t know how long you stood there in the bathroom, but by now you were numb. You can hear the party at full swing outside, with loud music and people talking. Surely no one would miss your presence. You realize you can’t stay in the bathroom forever though so you will yourself to get through just tonight. You wipe off all the tear-stained makeup and wash your face with warm water. But your eyes are still kind of red. You walk into your side of the closet and try to find something more suitable for the party. 

Jimin is finally free of most of the guests at this point and begins his search for you again. He had seen you talking to a few people, but that was at least half an hour ago. 

“Sweetheart, Happy Birthday” Jimin hears. His mom and dad walk up to him, arms open for a hug. Jimin gives them a warm smile, despite his mind being focused on finding you. 

“Thank you” he says as he returns the hug. 

“Jimin, this is your last birthday as just a married man! Come next birthday, you’ll be a father too” Jimins father said. He was probably more excited than Jimin for the baby to arrive. He couldn’t wait to spoil his grandchild. 

“That’s right Jimin! The baby will be here for your next birthday darling” his mother chimes. “Enjoy this while it lasts son. You and Y/N will have your hands full this time next year” she continues. 

“Uh.. speaking of Y/N, have you seen her?” Jimin asks nervously. 

“Oh, I believe I heard her saying that she was going to go change into something more comfortable. But she’s been missing for a while, Why don’t you go change and make sure she’s ok too sweetheart?” Jimins mom says as she practically pushes him in the direction of their shared room. 


Jimin walks nervously towards their room, not knowing how to approach you and beg for your forgiveness. Why did he ever doubt you? The look on your face when you had just wished him happy birthday haunted his mind. 

He opens the door to your shared room and to his surprise, it is also fully decorated. There are balloons dancing across the ceiling and twinkle lights around the room. Jimin walked further into the room sitting on the bed as he tried to take it all in. He noticed the light on inside the bathroom and realized you were inside. He looked around the room and realized just how much you had planned. You really had gone the extra mile. 

Jimin finally notices a wrapped present on his nightstand. It was beautifully wrapped with a bouncy bow on the top. He had no doubt in his mind that you wrapped it. 

He carefully ripped the wrapping paper off, only to be met with a white box. He slid the box open and Jimin was shocked. Inside laid the childhood book he had you about all those many nights ago, The Velveteen Rabbit. The book had been published many times, but Jimin had initially owned a very old copy, dating back to around the 50′s. When he tried to find the same book, he couldn’t find the same copy or anyone willing to sell. But the book that laid in front of him was something beyond his imagination. 

He opened up the front cover and looked at the first page. The publishing date of this book dated back to 1922, meaning this was the very first edition. This must have cost a fortune, let alone impossible to find. 

Inside the book also had a small card. Jimin took the card out and placed the book on the side of the bed. He carefully opened up the card to find your small and beautiful handwriting on a pretty birthday card.

Dearest Jimin,

Happy Birthday, sweets! I thank god for blessing me with you everyday. And I guess I’m also thanking your parents for what they did 22 years and 9 months ago. ;)

 I know that we didn’t get into this marriage by choice, but I can happily say now that I always, always will pick you. I love you so, so much. I know I’ve been busy these last couple of weeks, but I hope you finally understand why and hopefully this all makes up for it. Did you like your gift? You really weren’t kidding when you said it was hard to find! I hope one day in the future, we can read this book to our child and maybe they will love it as much as you do. You’re going to be a wonderful father, Jimin. I just know it. I can’t wait to meet our little baby in a few months! Ok, I’m rambling…in a letter. Anyways, love you baby. Hope you have a wonderful day <3

Love, 

Y/n

Jimins hands trembled as he read the letter. How could he have doubted your love for him? How could he have been so stupid? Just then, he heard the door of your bathroom and you emerge, seconds later. Jimin stands up and meets your eyes for the first time in a while. 

It’s obvious that you’ve been crying but you tried to cover it well. But he could still tell. The glow from your eyes were long gone. You look at Jimin with a blank expression, as if you had just seen right through him and it sends a shiver down his spine and it scared him. 

You break eye contact and start to make your way to your door but Jimin stops you as he grabs your wrists. “Baby I- I’m so sor-” he starts. But before he can finish, you yank your hand out of his and walk out the door, leaving Jimin alone in the room.

Jimin stood frozen in the room as the door slammed shut after you walked out. How was he going to make it up to you?


You had returned to the party and Jimin soon followed behind you but you had already started mingling with guests again. You refused to even look in Jimin’s direction. If you even felt him coming closer to you, you would make the effort to move away. 

Jimin noticed you avoiding him and it was hard to get to you. There were so many guests! But Jimin wasn’t the only one who noticed the change. Taehyung also noticed the second you tried to excuse yourself to go change. You seemed really upset and it was easy to see that it was because something had happened between you and Jimin. Though it wasn’t in his place to pry, he felt bad that you were so upset on the day you spent the last 2 months planning. 

Taehyung had found you amongst the crowd and the people you were talking to had excused themselves. You gave Taehyung a small smile, but even he could tell how forced it was. “hey…you okay?” he asks slowly, hoping not to get anyone else’s attention.

Your smile slowly fades only for you to give him a faker smile seconds later. “I’m fine, Tae. Why?” you say, hoping not to discuss anything at the moment. You knew that if you talked about it, you would end up crying again.

“H-have you been crying? I don’t mean to pry, but is everything ok between you and Jimin? I just don’t want you to be upset today after all you planning for it!” he says. 

But before you could answer, you felt arms snake around your waist. “Nothing is going on, Tae. Don’t worry about. And thanks again man for throwing me this party. You’ve planned it so well with Y/n” Jimin says, showing up out of the blue. You look up at Jimin, surprised that you didn’t see him coming. Both the anger and sadness filled you up again. Taehyung could practically see all the tension in the air. 

You pulled Jimin’s arms around your waist, rather forcefully. “Excuse me boys, but I’m going to set up the food” you say as you give Taehyung another fake smile and walk towards the kitchen, not even giving Jimin a glance.”

“Dude what the hell happened?” Taehyung asks Jimin, pulling him to a corner. 

“Nothing, just drop it” says Jimin, growing frustrated. 

“I usually would, but not today. Do you you have any idea how much time and effort your wife put into planning tonight? She’s been excited about this for months. She has poured her love into every step of planning, and yet here she looks like she’s going to breakdown at any second. Look, I get that it’s your birthday and you don’t want to be listening to this right now, but whatever it is that happened between you two, I hope you can make up. You’re my best friend, Jimin. But Y/N is a good friend now too” Taehyung explains.

Jimin looked at Taehyung with a pained expression. He knew he had hurt you badly. It was evident in your eyes. But Jimin didn’t want to tell his best friend that just moments before you of cheating with him. Come to think of it, it was stupid that he even doubted you. He should have known his best friend would never betray him like that. And more importantly, he should have known you would have never betrayed him like that. He should have never doubted you. But he couldn’t tell Taehyung, at least not now. “It’s none of your business Taehyung, so drop it. Whatever it is, it’s between me and Y/n, so stay out of it” Jimin says before walking away, not even seeing Taehyung’s hurt expression.


Jimin kept trying to get you alone after that multiple times, but you evaded him at all costs. It was hard to enjoy the party when he could only focus on you and making things right with you. Before he could attempt talking to you again though, he was called to cut a cake. Everyone starting singing happy birthday and people were pushing you to go stand next to Jimin. You stood there awkwardly as people were singing and Jimin kept looking at you. Finally the song was over and Jimin blew out the candles. People then started to chant “Kiss” in hopes of you to kiss the birthday boy. You kept trying to wave it off, but it seemed like no one was having it. Jimin looked at you hopefully. He didn’t care that everyone else was in the room. He just wanted to kiss you senseless and show you just how sorry he was and how much he had loved you. 

You turned to Jimin, and any smile you had one was quickly gone and Jimin’s heart sank. “Happy Birthday, Jimin” you said quietly as you kissed him on the cheek really quickly before turning to face everyone else. Jimin tried to keep his smile up, but people could kind of sense the tension at this point. 

You almost never called him Jimin anymore. It was always “sweets” or some other cute nickname you would come up with it. So when you use his real name, he knew it was serious. 


The rest of the party went rather slowly for both you and Jimin. People had started drinking and everyone was having their fun. Jimin tried to make the most of the party that you had worked for and decided that you needed your space for now. You on the other hand were just trying to make it through the rest of the night. Fortunately for you though, Taehyung and the rest of his friends had kept you company for the majority of the time.

 Pretty soon though, people filed out of the house. Though you had wanted the party to end, you were anxious now. You realized that after everyone would leave, you would be alone with Jimin and you really didn’t want that. You anxiously waited as one by one, the guests started to leave. Eventually your parents and Jimin’s parents were leaving too 

On their way out, Jimin’s mom pulled Jimin to the side. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but don’t keep a pregnant woman mad at you for too long, son. It’s not too good to keep the mother of your child angry at you. Trust me when I say your father can vouch for that” she says. Jimin gives her a small smile as she too leaves. Maybe you were just this mad because you were hormonal? He just needed to get you alone and he could work things out. 

Soon enough, there were just a few people left and they were all starting getting ready to leave too. One by one, they filed out, and you were getting more antsy by the second. One friend of Jimin’s though was quite drunk. His girlfriend struggled to even get him walking properly and since she was far smaller than him, she needed help getting him to the car. “Hey birthday boy, sorry to ask you of this, but could you help me get this drunk ass to our car? I don’t think I can support his weight” she asked. 

As much as Jimin wanted to just kick the remaining people out of his house, he knew he should help his friend. He turned to look back at you as you began to clean some things in the kitchen. “Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be back in a second. I need to talk to you” he said before grabbing his friend by the shoulders and heading out the door. You said your goodbyes and then, it was just you in the house. You swallowed the lump in your throat and decided that you could clean everything else in the morning. You were both physically and emotionally drained. 

Before turning off the lights in the room, you took one more glance at all the decorations. “I hope he liked it..” you said out loud. 


Jimin practically threw his friend into the car before running back to the house. He yanked the door open, only to find the house somewhat dark again. He ran to his room, only to find the bathroom lights on. He was relieved that you were still here. For a moment, he thought you had left. 

How was he going to make this up to you? What words would make things right again? He called you a slut, he said he regretted marrying you. He asked if the child was even his, and he could practically see your heart break. He sat on the bed, running his hands through has hair nervously. 

Soon, you had finished your night time routine and you hadn’t even realized that you had started to cry again. You came out of the bathroom with your hand placed protectively over your stomach. The only comfort you had right now was the little one inside you. Oh how you just wanted to hold you baby soon. 

You jumped a little when you saw Jimin, not expecting him. You decided that you didn’t want to be in the same room as him for a while, so you walked to your side of the bed and grabbed your pillow while Jimin was trying to form the right words. Jimin noticed your tear stained face and he felt his heart drop at how sad you looked in that moment. You just look so drained, and he was the reason behind it all. 

“Y/N I’m so– wait what are you doing” he asked as you grabbed your pillow. You didn’t reply and instead you just made your way back to your old room, thankful that a bed was still there.

Jimin was surprised for a second and didn’t register what was happening. Recently, you had been saying that you found it hard to sleep without him there and he felt the same too. You always snuggled up to him at the end of the day and now, you didn’t even want to be in the same room? After a hot second, Jimin followed you.

“Wait, don’t just leave. Y/N I’m sorry, ok? Just look at me baby, please” he was pleading as he followed behind you like a lost dog. But you didnt reply and you were crying again. You practically ran the last few steps and before Jimin could reach you, you closed the door on his face and locked the door. You layed down on the bed and tried to calm your heart. You were so hurt, so tired. You just wanted to sleep. 

Jimin on the other hand was pounding on your door, not wanting you to sleep alone and in pain. He needed you as much as you needed him to sleep. And more than anything, he wanted your love for him again. 

“Baby, please” he said. “I’m sorry ok? I didn’t mean the things I said. Please, let me see you ok? Let me hold you tonight and we can talk through everything in the morning” he was begging. But you never opened the door, and Jimin knew to give up till the sun rose again. He was going to get you to forgive him, one way or another. No more mistakes, he thought to himself. No. More. Mistakes.


A/N: SORRY FOR THE WAIT. HERE IT IS. IDK IF I LIKE IT BUT I HOPE YOU DO. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK. also lowkey need more angst so be prepared for that. 

Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

A little under five years ago, my high school classroom was crouched behind a table with the lights off. We were rapidly checking twitter and the news, trying to understand what was going on.

Rumors were flying about a kid bringing a gun to Newtown high, and at first, no one was too worried. Until the truth started being reported. Until we found out that, about ten minutes away from our homes, 26 people, most of which were young children, were brutally murdered.

After a few hours of lockdown, we were let out early. There were people crying on the streets. There were more police cars than I had ever seen in our little town. The school bus was filled with whispers and wide eyes as our peers were dropped off. I got home, was embraced by my mother, and started sobbing. While I never felt personally unsafe, it was an insurmountable thing to grasp, that my local community had been devastated by something so atrocious.

That Sunday at church, I had never seen the worship hall so full. Strangers were hugging each other, we were all grasping hands, and there were sobs let out that couldn’t be suppressed. As a fourteen year old who had never experienced a tragedy like this - I often felt numb. I didn’t know how to process it.

I thought about it every single day for the next few years. My friend’s little sister was a third grader at Sandy Hook, and as I became closer to her, my sorrow deepened. Like many of the other survivors, she had nightmares often, she was terrified of loud noises - and she was one of the lucky ones.

Everywhere I went, there was evidence of what happened. Almost every car had a green ribbon on it. Whenever I drove past the firehouse where the parents collected the survivors - I thought about those who desperately searched for their kid through the crowd - only to realize that they were not there. A student teacher at my school took a leave of absence - her mother was one of those who was killed. While I was filled with a deeper love for my community, and the way we came together during this tragedy, I was also filled with so much anger.

Almost five years since Sandy Hook - another mass shooting has occurred. More than twice the amount of people were killed. More communities will be mourning. More families will be devastated. So many more people will never ever be the same. And what has our nation done? What have we done to prevent these tragedies from happening? If you haven’t been a part of a community affected by a mass shooting, I can understand why you might think that guns are not the problem. If you haven’t seen the people you grew up with sobbing with grief, you won’t get it. If you haven’t driven by the newly built elementary school and seen the intense security around it - you won’t get it. If you haven’t seen the 26 candles that everyone lights in their driveways every December, you won’t get it. If you haven’t seen the empty classroom seats of the kids whose siblings didn’t make it - you won’t get it.

Yet there is something we CAN do to help. We can push for gun control. We can resist gun culture. We can fight against terrorism (yes - white terrorism too). I don’t want to get too political here, but please. If you care more about your right to bear arms than the lives of your fellow Americans, then I suggest you reevaluate your priorities.

It can be hard to know what it’s like to experience a mass shooting so close to home. And I’m lucky - while I know of people who were murdered, no one close to me was. My loved ones are safe. The same can’t be said for everyone.

So please - give some long hard thought as to what you can do to help. And work to make change. Thank you.

How to End Crony Capitalism

The largest corporations and richest people in America – who donated billions of dollars to Republican candidates the House and Senate in the 2106 election – appear on the way to getting what they paid for: a giant tax cut.

The New York Times reports that business groups are meeting frequently with key Republicans in order to shape the tax bill, whose details remain secret. 

Speed and secrecy are critical. The quicker Republicans get this done, and without hearings, the less likely will the rest of the country discover how much it will cost in foregone Medicaid and Medicare or ballooning budget deficits.

Donald Trump has been trashing democratic institutions – the independence of the press, judges who disagree with him, uncooperative legislators – while raking in money off his presidency. But don’t lose sight of the larger attack on our democracy that was underway even before Trump was elected: A flood of big money into politics.  

Lest you conclude it’s only Republicans who have been pocketing big bucks in exchange for political favors, consider what Big Tech – the industry that’s mostly bankrolled Democrats – is up to. 

It’s mobilizing an army of lobbyists and lawyers – including senior advisors to Hillary Clinton’s campaign – to help scuttle a proposed law requiring Google, Facebook, and other major Internet companies to disclose who is purchasing their online political advertising.

After revelations that Russian-linked operatives bought deceptive ads in the run-up to the 2016 election, you’d think this would be a no-brainer. But never underestimate the power of big money, whichever side of the aisle it’s aimed at. 

Often, it’s both sides. Last week The Washington Post and “60 Minutes” reported that Big Pharma contributed close to $1.5 million to Democrats as well as Republicans in order to secure enactment of the so-called “Ensuring Patient Access and Effective Drug Enforcement Act of 2016.”

This shameful law weakened the Drug Enforcement Authority’s power to stop prescription opioids from being shipped to pharmacies and doctors suspected of taking bribes to distribute them – a major cause of the opioid crisis. Last year, Americans got 236 million opioid prescriptions, the equivalent of one bottle for every adult.

Overwhelming majorities of House and Senate Democrats voted for the bill, as well as Republicans, and President Obama signed it into law.

There you have it, folks. Big money is buying giant tax cuts, allowing Russia to interfere in future elections, and killing Americans. That’s just the tip of the corrupt iceberg that’s sinking our democracy. 

Republicans may be taking more big money, but both parties have been raking it in. 

Average Americans know exactly what’s going on. 

I just returned from several days in Kentucky and Tennessee, both of which voted overwhelmingly for Trump.

A number of Trump voters told me they voted for him because they wanted someone who’d shake up Washington, drain the swamp, and get rid of crony capitalism. They saw Hillary Clinton as part of the problem.

These people aren’t white nationalists. They’re decent folks who just want a government that’s not of, by, and for the moneyed interests. 

Many are now suffering buyer’s remorse. They recognize Trump has sold his administration to corporate lobbyists and Wall Street. “He conned us,” was the most polite response I heard.

The big money that’s taken over American politics in recent years has created the biggest political backlash in postwar American history – inside both parties.

It’s splitting the Republican Party between its large corporate patrons and a base that detests big corporations and Wall Street.

Trump is trying to straddle both by pretending he’s a champion of the working class while pushing for giant tax cuts. But if my free-floating focus group in Kentucky and Tennessee is any indication, the base is starting to see through it.

Which you might think creates a huge opportunity for Democrats heading into the 2018 midterms and the presidential election of 2020.

Think again. Much of the official Democratic Party is still in denial, continuing to debate whether it should be on the proverbial “left” or move to the “middle.”

But when it comes to getting big money out of politics and ending crony capitalism, there’s no right or left, and certainly no middle. There’s just democracy or oligarchy.

Democrats should be fighting for commonsense steps to reclaim our democracy from the moneyed interests – public financing of elections, full disclosure of all sources of political funding, an end to revolving door between government and business, and attempts to reverse the bonkers Supreme Court decision “Citizens United vs. the Federal Election Commission.”

For that matter, Republicans should be fighting for these, too.

Heres’a wild idea. What if the anti-establishment wings of both parties came together in a pro-democracy coalition to get big money out of politics? 

Then it might actually happen.  

Niall Horan reveals a secret lover he had in 1D inspired his best songs — and it has inspired his emotional debut album Flicker

FOR his five years in ONE DIRECTION – and the nearly two years since they went on hiatus – NIALL HORAN has been linked to a string of beautiful women.

But while his bandmates HARRY STYLES, LIAM PAYNE, LOUIS TOMLINSON and ZAYN MALIK have had plenty of girlfriends since shooting to fame, Niall always insisted he was single . . . until now.

In his first Bizarre guest-edit since going solo, Niall revealed his incredible debut album Flicker, out today, was inspired by a secret relationship.

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