Warnings: depends on if you think nudity is awkward?
*insecure about yourself and why mgg is with you*
Horrible thoughts were running through my head. I was home alone sitting, thinking, and being upset. ‘Why am I so ugly, why am I so gross, fat, disgusting. Why is he with me?’ God I hated this feeling in my stomach I got when I was really upset. Why does he want to be with me. I’m not like any of the other girls. I was fed up with my thoughts and decided to turn the TV on so my feelings would subside. Still my feelings were crushed, heart was cracking. God when will it end. I got up and started walking back and forth trying to think of something else. I went to my dog and petted on her to try to give me comfort. Nothing was working. Soon enough my emotions busted through my heart making me cry softly. I tried to calm myself down I tried to run my hands through my messy hair to try to give me some comfort. I swallowed my sobs and tried as hard as I could to hold back my tears. ‘Bath, yeah a bath might help’ I thought to myself as I ran up to the bedroom and walked into the bathroom and started to run a bath. I started to sprinkle epsom salt and then bubble bath into the water. I then put on some ocean waves to try to relax my nerves. 'Its okay, its okay, its okay’ 'Please God make it stop’ I said silently to myself in plead for help. I laid back into the bath and closed my eyes in attempts to help me not spill the warm tears. 'Breath Y/N breath, he can’t see me like this when he gets home’ I started to breath heavily, it was actually working!
*knock knock* I heard on the bathroom door. “Hey babe, you in there?” Oh he’s home… “Uh yeah, I’m just taking a bath’ I said my voice cracking but coving up the mistake by a cough. “Are you okay babe?” “Yes I’m fine, I’m just relaxing” I said trying to stop the tears that silently roll down my cheeks. 'Stop stop, he’s going to walk in’ “Can I get you anything?” “No, no I’m okay.” It was silent for a minute, I could tell he was still there, just listening “May I come in?” I quickly wiped my tears away, and splashed my face with water. “Yeah sure” I said trying to cover my body as well as I could with the bubbles. He opened the door slowly and have me a small smile. “ Hey baby” he greeted me. I forced a smile on my face and kissed his cheek while he leaned down. “Are your allergies bad today?” He asked “I don’t know why?” “Your eyes are just red” “Oh, yeah, my noise has been stuffy all day too.” I said playing off my crying as allergies. “So, what do you want for dinner? I could make us something or we could go out, out we could order take out what do you want?” I asked trying to turn the subject around. “Well, I’d like some Chinese food if you’re up to it?” “Yeah that sounds good, will you go order it for us while I get out?” I asked him as he stood up shaking his head up and down. He helped me stand up and then wrapped a towel around me and kissed my lips. He disappeared into the bedroom and started to order our food. 'Good thing he was so distracted that he thought it was my allergies.’ I walked into it closet going to the section that Matthew kept all of his warn t-shirts. I pulled on the one that was most warn, huge, and had the most faded colors. Those shirts always made me feel better. I pulled on some underwear, but not a bra, I’m too lazy for that. I finished drying off my hair and walked back into the bedroom where Matthew was laying on the bed on his phone. He noticed that I entered the room and smiled at me. I did a soft smile back and went to my side of the bed. “I love you in my shirts” he said add he got closer to my smaller figure. He spooned me and rubbed his hands on my hips smelling my hair. “You smell nice” “Thank you baby” he kissed my neck breathing in my sent more. Then the door bell rang signaling that the food was here. “Yay! I’m so hungry” I smiled as he ran like a little boy to the door and paid. I walked out to him and got us plates, waters, and forks. He started to put a layer by layer of food on his plate excitedly. I got a little on my plate 'I don’t need to eat a lot, I need to lose weight, I’m too fat’ “Babe, why don’t you get more? You love Chinese food” “I’m not really hungry, I atr lunch not too long ago.” I said playing it off like it was nothing. He nodded and went back to his food. “So how was your day, anything exciting happen around here?” “When has it ever been exciting around here when you’re gone at work?” I laughed a little at my comment “Your point is valid” he coninuted to wolf down his food and I ate all that was on my plate and then decided to turn the TV on for us to watch.
He finally finished eating all of the food. 'That boy can eat’ I put our dishes in the washer and went back out to Matthew. He was laying on the couch almost asleep. I turned off the TV and told him to come up to bed. He complied and followed me up the stairs slowly. He pulled off his clothes to his boxers and got into bed. I tucked him into his side and then got into my side. He turned to face me and took my by the waist kissing my forehead before he slowly drifted to sleep. I wasn’t tired. I was still sad. He was so beautiful, so sweet, so kind. I swiped my thumb over his cheek pushing back his curls that feel onto his face. He was so handsome. He was too hot for me. The feeling came back in my stomach, I sighed and turned over, trying to get to sleep. I started to think of the things I hated about myself the things I swore I’d never speak about to Matthew. It would crush him too much, she how much of a mess I was. I slowly started to cry, 'I guess I should get up and go somewhere not to disturb him’ I slowly and quietly got up. I slipped into the guest bedroom and shut they door sliding my back down the door crying even harder now. I’ve grown upset, I’ve grown tired of my disgusting body, and soon Matthew would to. My wimpers got louder, I had to get a pillow just to contain them.
I woke up and felt the coldness of her side. Where was she? 'Hmmm’ I looked to the bathroom to see if the light was on, no she wasn’t there. Something is off with her today, I wonder what it is. Maybe she just feels sick? I got up and walked out of our bedroom. “Y/N?” I said in the darkness of the night. I saw the guest bedroom light on and went to inspect it. I knocked on the door. “Y/N? You in there? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you in bed? Do you feel okay?” There wasn’t a sound, just shuffling feet. I pushed the for open to see her figure in the guest bed. “Why are you in this bed? What did I do? If I said something mean in my sleep I’m sorry I didn’t mean it..” I trailed off thinking what I could’ve done wrong. She sniffled a little and I walked to her side. “Baby what’s wrong” I said softly rolling the covers away from her face, 'Why was she crying, what happened’ I was so upset now. I didn’t even notice that is was sadness in her smile sadness in her voice, sadness in her look. “Baby please tell me, what happened” I said stroking her hair almost crying myself. She just cried more and hugged my arm. I felt so bad for her, I felt so much guilt that I didn’t even notice it. I got into the bed, I hugged her frame tight, not letting go. “Shhh I’m sorry please tell me what has gotten you so upset” she just cried more and more and grabbed at her chest. She couldn’t really breath from crying so hard, “please calm down you can’t breath you’re hurting yourself please calm down please” I said my voice cracking now 'please” I said again quietly. She tried to breath deeply as I turned her around to face me. I wiped away some of the tears falling on her face. I started to kiss her cheek and run my fingers through her hair. I sat up a little and pulled her up with me, slowly rocking her and rubbing her back, I put her on my lap and tucked her head under my chin so I could rock her and kiss her head. She slowly stopped crying. “Please tell me what happened” “I’m just not good enough” she said her voice cracking up. “I’m fat Matthew, I’m ugly, I’m not smart I’m nothing, I just don’t have a purpose Matthew.” My heart slowly broke. It shattered into pieces. I had failed as a boyfriend. I’ve failed as a lover. “Baby, you're beautiful. You’re not fat, your curves are beautiful, you’re so smart and you’re my everything baby, please believe me you have a purpose baby and you’re more than good enough.” I felt so much love in my heart that I couldn’t contain it. “Would you let me show you? How much you mean to me?” She nodded her head a little and I stripped off my shirt she had on, I left the room and came back with a sharpie. I kissed her lips, tenderly, sweetly, desperately. I started to kiss down her neck, down her chest, around her breasts, down her tummy, around her panties, and down her legs. “Baby I promise you, you’re so beautiful.” I opened the marker I started on her tummy 'beautiful, cute, adorable’ I wrote on her. I moved up to her chest 'sexy, beautiful, soft, good pillows, squishy’ I smiled lightly at that one, I lowered myself inbetween her legs 'hot, soft, nice hand warmer, smooth, sexy’. I pulled off her panties and wrote 'beautiful, sexy, lovely’ across the top of her lower region. She looked so beautiful laying there, I moved myself back up to her lips and kissed her, I took her hands in mine and I helped her up. I took her into the guest bath and took her in front of the mirror. I kissed her neck a bit and ran my hands down to her breasts and slowly cupped them, “these are beautiful, they are so sexy” I massaged them a bit and ran my hands down to her tummy, “this is cute and adorable” I took my hands down to her sex and cupped it. “This..” I started to kiss her jaw and neck “makes me crazy, so sexy and beautiful” “And these my beautiful girlfriend are beautiful and sexy.” I said rubbing my hands up and down her legs. She stood there with evey move I made, she finally smiled, she turned around and kissed me deeply.
Request if you want one❤