and metatron talking to dean about free will be still my heart

Be in my heart

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader (Y/N), Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, John Winchester, Castiel/Lucifer (mentioned), Amara (mentioned)

Pairing: Dean/reader

Warnings: Character death mentioned, angst, implied smut,

Word count: 3200ish

A/N: This is my entry for @faith-in-dean‘s April challenge. My prompt was  “I lost my clothes, can I have yours?” and I drew a little inspiration from This Song too

Dean had been pacing the floors of the bunker for hours. He knew he was driving Sam crazy but he also didn’t care. All he could think about was her. He had do let her go. He knew that. He had decided letting her go her own way – to keep her safe – would be for the best a long time ago. So why did it feel like the last piece of his heart was shattering every time he looked at the damn invite.

Why would she even send them one? Dean took a deep breath as he remembered the last time he had seen her. The way he had had practically kicked her out after having killed those men, after having almost killed Metatron. He no longer trusted himself and he couldn’t have her around. They hadn’t been together in a while not since they were kids but she had always been there for him. She had always been his best friend. His saving grace. His freedom. He hadn’t seen her for about a year, not since the night she had left and now she was getting married!

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Teach Me Love RP

Castiel had started working at Lawrence High School a little over three years ago, shortly after he’d quit working for Angel Labs. Although his main teaching subject was Chemistry, and his several specializations were all in that area, last year he had ended up teaching Physics as well and, this year, he had the honor of being put in charge of one of the classrooms. This meant, of course, a new abundance of responsibilities and obligations, all of which he was undoubtedly sure he was never going to be able to adequately fulfill.

Or so he thought.

Somehow, despite his doubts, Castiel had slipped into the role like he was made for it. There was still the occasional prank being pulled on him, usually after he’d been too stern on a classroom, and sometimes he still found the whiteboard scribbled with “Asstiel Nerdvak” after he handed in graded tests but, minor incidents aside, he had seemed to conquer the kids’ trust, love and respect.

The same, however, didn’t seem to apply to all of Lawrence High’s staff members. According to a sizable amount of them, Castiel had ‘too much heart’. They made it sound as if it was a bad thing, implied that he cared too much. When he was too strict, they admonished him, when he was too forgiving, they shunned him, and when he spent unpaid after-hours tutoring panicked 17 year olds on the classes they had missed for some reason or the other, they called him an unreasonable workaholic. Which, to be fair, was somewhat accurate.

Besides, he didn’t aim to please. As long as his students excelled in their academic life and still had time to foster a happy personal one, Castiel didn’t mind fighting the occasional obstacles or being called out for not reporting silly things that could tarnish a student’s record forever.

Meg Masters was one such example: wild, rebellious, uncontrollable – or so the records said. But, as soon as Castiel started seating her down and talking to her each time she broke school rules, instead of adding a new line to a list of infractions bigger than his weekly shopping list, he had uncovered a disturbed, complicated family history and a girl who thought there was no other way to fight back besides acting out. In less than a month, but with a lot of hours put into teaching her on all the subjects she had gotten behind on, Meg turned around completely.

Dean Winchester was another story entirely.
He had everything to be brilliant, from a natural understanding of physics to an ease in converting theoretical phenomenon to real-life situations, usually involving some sort of strange car or firearms metaphor. And yet, it was like he was determined to think of himself as dumb and fall back behind whenever Cas took his eye off of him. Unlike Meg, Dean had only been his student since mid-last year, when the Physics teacher abruptly passed away and Castiel was asked to teach that subject as well. But Cas had only truly noticed him this year, after becoming a homeroom teacher and Dean turned out to be his biggest headache.

At first, Cas had even been vexed by his attitude, he had assumed Dean was just another self-entitled assbutt with no real interest in school and no thirst for knowledge. But the more he forced Dean into impromptu tutoring after the boy missed a class, the more he realized that wasn’t the case, and the more perplexed he was left by the strange case of Dean Winchester.

Castiel knew there was something going on there but, every time he tried to reach out, Dean clammed up. Or worst, he made distinctly inappropriate flirtatious comments towards Castiel.

Inappropriate because:

  1. Dean was his student
  2. He was currently underage and
  3. Castiel sometimes found himself unconsciously counting the days towards Dean’s 18th birthday
Cas heaved a sigh, pushing the plaguing thoughts out of his mind and focusing on the task at hand. When he finally finished the paperwork, he folded his glasses back into his pocket and stretched, then organized the stack of papers into a folder and handed them to Chuck Shurley - the Biology and Geology teacher who always offered to file his papers so he wouldn’t all have to make the track to the opposite side of the building. Cas thanked him and left the teacher’s room hoping for some much needed peace and quiet before his next class, which was in… ten minutes.

Forget peace and quiet. He needed coffee.

Classes were ongoing so the cafeteria was deserted, save for the underpaid workers and a short, stocky figure rattling off about 'poor service’ and demanding a free pastry. He quickly recognized the man as Marvin Weasler, the English teacher who the students had, not so affectionately, nicknamed Metatron, probably due to his propensity to long winded monologues about himself or his vast and vastly boring published papers (ergo, the 'meta’) and, most importantly, his tendency to sometimes sound like an evil alien menace from another world.

“Well, well, well… if it isn’t Professor Novak,” Marv began, wearing his usual yellow smile. Cas fought the urge to make a face at the obnoxious man, instead remaining neutral.

“Marv,” he greeted back casually, knowing his college hated to be called by anything other than 'Professor Weasler, PhD’.

Metatron - the nickname had also caught on in Castiel’s head - made no effort to hide his distaste at the apparent insolence, raising his brows and wrinkling his nose right before scoffing.

“How lucky to find you here,” he slapped the attendance book into Cas’ hands with the smugness of early victory, a huge, despicable grin on his face that oozed of spite, “your favorite pet is slacking off again. I was just on my way to the principal’s office to report how much of a failure you’ve been as his homeroom teacher. Guess you should have stayed in your tiny little lab… Castiel.”

At this, Cas finally did make a face, frowning at Marv as the man slipped past him and strolled away. He turned back to the book in his arms, opening it up and sighing heavily. Dean Winchester had missed first period again.

He gulped down the rest of his coffee before the bell rang and raced towards his classroom, entering it with bright red cheeks and still panting slightly from the stairs. He looked completely disheveled, raven hair all over the place, tie askew and his shirt was rumpled and messy like he’d slept on it and didn’t change it. The students didn’t seem to find it as amusing now that he’d done it so many times, or maybe it was ever since he told the reason for his obsession with getting to class on time was because they were his most important mission and deserved every single second of education bestowed upon them.

“Good morning class.”

He greeted, overly serious until the little individual greetings started being muttered back at him, even the grumpiest faces waving at him, and then he couldn’t help smiling a little, small and fond.

When his eyes met Dean’s however, he frowned and tapped the attendance book meaningfully, “Dean, I need to see you after class.”

The class tethered and sniggered, little oh-oh’s ringing out, but most students settled back down as soon as Cas started writing on the board.

@writerdean @autumnjensen

Just Another Angel

Request: I LOVE your writing!! Could you maybe do one where y/n’s best friend/ roommate gets killed by something and y/n, having been raised as a hunter sets out to get the thing when Sam and Dean show up at her door as detectives? Once they discover both parties are hunters they team up? Maybe a little sexual tension between y/a and dean? Xoxoxo

Characters: Dean, Sam, reader, Riley (readers best friend), Castiel, surprise character (Angel)

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: swearing, death, angst, lots of blood, gore

Word count: 4895

A/N: Y/F/N= your fathers name Y/L/N= your last name. This turned out a lot more than I had expected, a lot more characters than I planned to put into it. Comments, likes and reblogs are much appreciated.

“Hey Y/N” Riley shouted as she opened the door to the motel you were staying in, “you find anything else on that case?” She asked.

“Nothing” you replied without looking up from your laptop, “you talk to the family, find anything else out?” You asked her.

Riley walked over to her bed and threw her backpack down. “Yeah, the kid gave me something that his mother was drawing before she died”, she told you as she pulled an old, crumpled piece of paper out of her backpack. She finally had your full attention, as she passed you the paper you looked up from your laptop. “That look familiar to you?” She asked.

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By the Hands of the Ticking Clock

Arrogant is the first word that comes to mind.

To be sure, he had been arrogant then; wings as large and flawless as the Morningstar, and just as pristine a white. Castiel! Castiel! They heralded from on High. Blessed be the Father for a brother such as this!

His wings were revered by his siblings, though some were wary. Hesitant or not, however, there was no debate as to their magnificence.

Castiel was God’s last angel, and he was irrefutably beautiful.

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I think we need a moment to talk about this face.

He looks like the cutest darn puppy in existence, but it broke my heart when Sam referred to Gadreel as one of their “real friends”.

Gadreel, who Sam has more reason to hate than anyone, who let Lucifer in and kick-started the chain events that would cost the Winchesters so many friends, who was shamed and tortured for centuries, and who hated himself so much that he pretended to be Ezekiel in the hope of gaining some scraps of respect that he knew deep down weren’t meant for him, and who even aided Metatron because he dangled some shred of dignity just out of his reach – Gadreel, who was friendless and disgraced and would rather have died than be left all alone again, was considered the real friend of Sam and Dean Winchester.

If Cain was Dean’s parallel this series, Gadreel was definitely Sam’s. Sam was manipulated, not only by Lucifer, but by Azazel, Meg, Ruby, Brady, even Crowley. Nearly every demon he ever encountered was, at some point, using him for their own ends whilst making him believe that he was doing the right thing and it was all going to be okay. Gadreel fell for it once, but Sam has been a victim of manipulation non-stop, and yet he still gets to be a hero. Sure, he’s ‘the boy with the demon blood’, he’s made mistakes and he’s got his flaws, but his enemies still fear him and his peers still respect him. I felt that Gadreel saw Sam as a somewhat exaggerated version of himself – Sam had even been tortured (in the Cage) – and took hope from the fact that this man still got to save the world.

I think that’s what his final speech was all about. Gadreel had been locked up for so long that his understanding of humanity was practically non-existent, and so he did indeed make some mistakes when he was first set free. But he was inside Sam’s head: he must have been able to see all those memories of Sam’s own mistakes over the years, and he must also have seen Dean’s forgiveness, Bobby’s forgiveness, they way they all forgave each other. Heaven was always about punishment – for him, Lucifer, Castiel. Gadreel talked about the importance of humanity, and I think that’s because their ability to forgive and to give second chances was so vital to him.

All he wanted was a chance to start over again. He gives his life because he believes he’s let everyone down again and it’s his one chance to try and make something right. Only, Sam didn’t think he’d let them down. Even if he knew they’d been foiled, I doubt Sam would have considered it a failure on Gadreel’s part. He would have understood that Gadreel was trying his best.

It’s just the look on his face right there – he so wants to be one of them, and he probably never even knew that Sam already thought he was.


Request:  “Hi there! I have a cas x reader request in which the reader is captured by Metatron and when Cas comes to save her, Metatron reveals that the reader is Cas’ soulmate.”

A/N: Hi guys! My name is Ellie and I’m a new co-writer. My specialty is fluff, (sister!reader is my greatest weakness tbh) so feel free to send fluffy requests in and I’ll do my best with them. I’m also going to post some of my own non-requested stuff occasionally (I have one where Dean turns into a dog all written out heh) This one was a lot of fun, i banged it out in two hours it was like three pages on google docs and im not even sorry

Author: Ellie

Pairings: Castiel x Reader

Warnings: Reader is kidnapped, but no actual violence ensues. Not quite as fluffy as I wanted it to be, but still fluffy nonetheless 

Summary: What appears to be a normal ghost hunt is actually a trap. Metatron captures the reader and finds out something very interesting about her and Castiel.

Words: 1,300


“I dont like this.” Cas said for the millionth time. You, Sam and Dean exchanged a look.

“We’ve been over this Cas. Like twelve times.” you reminded him, “It’s really not that big of a deal.”

“I don’t want to use you as bait.”

“Well the ghost is only going for biological females, and seeing as the rest of you don’t have a-”

“I understand.” Castiel said pointedly, making it clear you didn’t have to elaborate. “I just… I just have a bad feeling.”

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This was written for one of the prompts I received yesterday!

“Cas disappearing for a few weeks and returning with a baby he says is his and Dean’s except they’ve never had sex and Dean’s still determinately ignoring his feelings for Cas.”

(prompted by faramirlovertheslasher)

Warnings: Could be seen as past Mpreg, but isn’t really.

On AO3

Dean stared into the bowl with its burned out ingredients. The flame had given a tiny, unconvincing, apologetic sputter, then thin smoke had whirled up into Dean’s face. The scent of rosemary, ash, blood and all those other high-end ingredients he had dug out of the bunker’s well-stocked pantry had all gone up in smoke without yielding results.


“Can it Sammy,” Dean growled and made an angry cross over the page in his notebook. A bust. Like the last 3 rituals before it. Sam didn’t say anything, silently shuffling out of the study again. What else could Sam have said after all? That everything would be okay? That he should not worry about not being able to reach Cas?

“It’s Cas, Dean… He is not exactly defenceless out there,” Sam reminded him when Dean finally made an appearance in the room that served as their living room. “We’ve closed the gates of hell and all’s fine up in Heaven. If anything would have happened to Cas, wouldn’t someone tell us?” Dean looked up from the heavy book he had tossed onto the table with a frown that soon became a mocking sneer.

“What, who? Naomi? I know she came through in the last minute, but don’t forget that she wanted me dead.” Sam made a helpless gesture, looking for some words of help or consolation. Dean felt they were past this now. Cas had been gone for 3 months. Without a word. The last thing he had said to Dean had been something stupidly irrelevant. No matter how many times he replayed the two weeks after they had sealed the gates of Hell he could not come up with any hints that would help him make sense of Castiel being gone.

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Andrew Dabb gave us his first episode of season 10, and it was very entertaining. However, I have to admit that there were some things I didn’t like that much: the stripper scene, the cheating wife, the dom/sub insinuation Metatron made to Hannah, and the Cas/Hannah as something more than siblings. The rest was quite good.

As you know, when I write something, I’m very pro-Destiel, so… because I don’t want to write something too long, I’ll try to focus my attention only on the things I consider important about Dean and/or Castiel.

Here is what caught my attention in this episode:

1. Cas’ reaction to learning that Dean is a demon. His face of frustration is priceless!

2. The way Cas talks about Sam and Dean. When Hannah tells him “Are you sure about this?” he even says, “If you wanted to stay behind…” He doesn’t allow anyone to stop him from his mission: finding Dean (no matter he’s a demon now). “They’re the best men I’ve ever known. And they’re my friends.” It’s so good to hear how much Cas cares about both of them.

3. Dean ordering a drink for Crowley “with [the] tiniest umbrella” is obviously a dick joke. Crowley’s “this isn’t about… little Dean” is another joke of the same sort. If we take into account what Crowley told Dean in the previous episode (“We’ve done extraordinary things to triplets”), then I guess it’s fair to assume that both of them can really tease each other with dick jokes because… well, you do the math. I’m not gonna say bi!Dean, but I’m gonna say bi!Dean.

4. The question the little girl asks Castiel when he wakes up, “Did you have a good dream?” and his answer, “I don’t really dream.” Hmmm that would be two episodes in a row where the word ‘dream’ is used by/around Cas. And I just think of the season premiere song and its “dream maker” line. Cas said in the previous episode that ‘dreams’ are a human thing. He also mentioned ‘hope’ and ‘love’, so he was not talking about the dreams you have when you’re sleeping. Of course, the little girl asked him about those kinds of dreams, but I think it’s important to understand that, as an angel, Cas doesn’t really dream. It’s a human thing. How come Cas is now familiar with human things like hope, love, or dreams? What makes him dream? WHO makes him dream? There must be a DREAM MAKER somewhere. *aggressively coughs*

4. When Crowley says, “The crazy ones are good for a fling”, he’s not looking at Dean, but then he turns and looks him right in the eye when he tells him, “They’re not relationship material.” That phrase is meant to play with Dean’s insecurities. I don’t know if demon!Dean has any, but Crowley knows the Winchesters very well. He’s so smart that he can read people better than anyone else on the show. He knows that’s what Dean thinks about himself; that’s why Crowley rubs it on his face. (Let’s remember that Dean thinks “he’s poison”, so he wouldn’t be relationship material for anybody).

5. When Cas stops Hannah from making a deal with Metatron, there’s something that breaks my heart: “Listen to me, Hannah, you don’t want this. I have seen what… I’ve made deals born of desperation, and they always end in blood and tears. Always!” Blood, I understand… but tears? TEARS!? When was the last time that Castiel MADE A DEAL? He didn’t make a deal with Metatron; he just believed his lies. But… we all know that Cas made a deal with Crowley some years ago, and of course it ended in blood (he killed humans and angels), but tears? What could have made Cas feel so miserable? The guilt he felt afterward? The breakup he had with Dean in 6x20? That he had to redeem himself to Dean later on? I don’t know, but whatever it was, Castiel remembers the tears.

6. “It’s my life and it’s my choice” reminds us that Castiel is still all for free will (which makes me really happy).

7. Castiel’s words to Metatron show a side that is not so common in him. He’s usually ready to forgive and give second chances, but the cold way in which he says, “I enjoy thinking about you locked up in here, rotting until the end of time. It’s my… happy place” makes me think: Is it just for the fall, or the fact he stole his grace, or is it for (almost) killing Dean Winchester?

8. The song playing when Crowley sees his cowboy selfie with Dean… seriously? “Hey there, lonely girl, lonely girl, let me make your BROKEN HEART like new.” Broken heart? That just reminds me AGAIN of the season premiere song and its “You’re a heartbreaker” line. Apparently, Dean Winchester is a heartbreaker. Could he possibly be a dream maker too? And if so… whose dreams could he make? I wonder if Dean could be a love taker as well. He’s “not really with the whole, uh, love, and… love”, but it’s never too late.

These are my highlights of 10x02. What did you guys think of it? Did you like it? Reblog and let me know.



2.8k of episode coda aka the missing scene jensen and misha talked about. now with bonus missing scene. feelings. they finally talk about the crypt scene, 10.22, and 11.04. (ao3)

“Why didn’t you kill him?” 

Dean’s voice sounds more quiet, less angry than it had when Sam was there. His hands are resting on the chair in front of him and his head is bowed, his shoulders broadcasting his exhaustion clearly. 

Castiel lets out a breath and lets himself deflate, “Dean…” 

“I just -” Dean rubs a hand over his face, “After everything he did to us? To me?” He looks up at Cas, trying to communicate his concern with his face alone, “To you?” 

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What I loved about Supernatural 10x17 “Inside Man”
  • Sam’s nervous hand-twitch when lying to Dean about the movie
  • Bobby reading a book on “Story Telling” #fourth wall #where art thou
  • Sam storming through the bunker with a gun and barefoot
  • Sam generally being a BAMF this episode!
  • “The New York Times said -” - “Who cares?” (fourth wall, I can’t find you)
  • Crowley still arguing with his mother about his name
  • “You’re my mother; I don’t want to see anything.”
  • Mr. Prince was awesome; “creep-ass hobit-lookin’ fella” is so spot on!
  • “I’m an angel.” - “No, you can’t be!” - “Why not?” - “Because I’m an atheist.” - “Not anymore.”
  • Dean TOTALLY playing those guys and ruffling his hair and WINKING at the barman
  • “Now shut up and hold hands.”
  • Bobby and Sam reminiscing about the good old days
  • Rowena meeting Dean and Dean learning she’s Crowley’s mother
  • “I have Sam and Dean exactly where I want them.”
  • 42 =)
  • Dean and Crowley’s hear-to-heart and Dean teaching Crowley about family
  • Cas being a total BAMF
  • Metatron calling him “Ass-tiel” and saying “Sam-tastic”
  • “It’s called leverage. Learn it, live it, love it.”
  • “I’m the KIng of Hell. I do what I want, when I want.”
  • Crowley kicking out Rowena, finally!
  • Bobby talking sense into Sam and telling him “I’m proud of you, son.”

And there were so many little things more! What an episode!


“For the River Shall End at the Source…” - A Couple of Thoughts Regarding the Episode Titles of the Rest of the Season

I guess tons of these might have made the rounds by now, but since I only got to know now that the episode titles for the rest of the season were revealed, I am going to make a post of my own as well. That being said, I have no clue what has been talked about already since I haven’t seen anything regarding those “spoilers” on my dash yet. As always these are justa few loose ideas and of course things I personally would find interesting for the show to explore or to go.

  • 10x15 “The Things They Carried”: We know this is the episode Cole returns and the boys are investigating a case in which the Khan worm infects men and turns them into killers. I have speculated quite a bit about this a couple days ago already (see here) that’s why I am going to keep this short and will just say that it is really interesting to bring that particular monster back now as a contrast mirror to the MoC that turns Dean - as he put it himself - “stone cold killer. It’s also interesting in that regard that the official description calls what the Kha worm is doing "infecting” and using medical language, which connects to Cain and Dean describing the bloodlust and urge to kill as a sort of disease. On top of that the title alone, which dates back to Tim O’ Brien’s book about a platoon of soldiers in the Vietnam War with the same name suggests the episode might also shine a light on what the emotional baggage is each of TFW carries as well as the people, who are truned into killers. Taking that view on the inside to me ties in to how Dean realized that the answer for a cure isn’t out there, but “with him”, within.

Since we don’t have any furthe official descriptions - at least not as far as I know at this moment in time - all of the following is based on little else but ideas sparked by the titles.

  • 10x16 “Paint It Black”: Judging from dean’s really scary expression when he walked out of the kitchen in 10x14 I could imagien the show dropping a few more hints at the demonic parts of Dean coming ever closer to the surface and might not have been gotten rid of at all. Aside from that - and I don’t know if there is a saying in english that is used similarly - to “paint something black” in german sort of means to see things much darker than they are in reality. So in that regard the title could mean the exact opposite and maybe show Dean possibly starting to get a handle on the MoC… The callback and use of the word “black” however to me does seem to make more sense if it connects with the very first episode of the season, which was called “Black”. I don’t think that’s accidental at all.
  • 10x17 “Inside Man”: I assume this episode might not have as much to do with the movie as it might have to do with someone, who has some inside knowledge on something valuable the boys need. In “Inside Man” - one of my all time fave movies btw - a group of bankrobbers robs a bank but does it in such a clever way that in the end none of the victims can tell, who was a bankrobebr and who wasn’t. Plus - spoiler alert - the main character locks himself inside the prison and walks out with all the money and jewelery a high ranking bank boss had bought in Nazi germany walks out a free man days later unstopped. While I would LOVE the show to somehow reference this I kind of rather think inside man in this case means “someone with insider knowledge”. Now there are a few characters that could be, but my best guess would be Metatron. And yes, I admit that might be due to the pic Misha had tweeted with Curtis Armstrong. The inside man could also be someone from the MoL as well though.
  • 10x18 “Book of the Damned”: I had talked about this in the link mentioned in the post for 10x15 already and talked about it here as well. So just cliff notes: “Book of the Damned” is the title of the book Sam told Charlie about, so I assume she might have found it. The book is also a book that exists in reality and was written by Charles Fort, who was writing as one of the firsts about “supernatural things”. This is all highly speculative but I personally would love it if Fort turned out to have been another member of the MoL and the show taking it a similar way as it did with “Lovecraft”. If they are still shooting 10x18 now and the tweet Jensen sent that looked like he’s back in purgatory  might also tie in on that. (as said more in the link mentioned above)
  • 10x19 “The Werther Project”: I don’t have any elaborate thoughts on this other than the title immediatley had me thinking of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s “Die Leiden des jungen Werther”, which is a book written in letter form and which ends with Werther’s suicide.
  • 10x20 “Angel Heart”: I guess this might have been the title peeps have been talking about most, hm? Many of us have assumed that Cas will track down his original grace because it might be part of the cure for helping Dean. Other than that I could absoluetly imagine - since I think she HAS to return this season - that beig an episode Claire returns for the very reason, she still has remnants of Cas’ grace within.
  • 10x21 “Dark Dynasty”: Of course all just spec, but I could imagine this relating to whatever is going on in hell and with Crowley and Rowena. I think at this point Rowena might have the upperhand over Crowley (and probably Sam as well if he gets into magc to save Dean and makes a deal with her), leaving Crowley powerless. It cold also relate to the Winchesters bloodline however.
  • 10x22 “The Prisoner”: Now, as far as I know this was a tv series and from skimming through I think there are a few topics that do fit to SPN as a show. Just based on the word “prisoner” I could also imagine - once more it relating to Metatron. OR - and I know I am biased on this with source and all - it referencing Lucifer as a prisoner. In a broader sense it also remind me of “Captives” though which showed the Winchesters as trapped in their ways of coping as Mama Tran in Crowley’s locker. Who the hell knows, it could also be that Crowley is the prisoner in hell after Rowena took over and the boys have to “save” him or one of the boys being held captive to gather power ver the other.
  • 10x23 “Brother’s Keeper”: Now this one of course is the most dramatic and exciting one, isn’t it? Like I said in an ask earlier today this of course seems to be leading up to a confrontation of Dean and Sam since it’s the words Cain said to god when he asked where his brother was after Cain had killed Abel. And that question is the reason why I chose the gif as the one to go with this spec, because in a way Cain had asked Dean the same question god had asked him already. So let’s assume there will be a sort of reverse crypt scene and Swan song scene or truly a scenario in which Dean hurts both Cas and Sam badly (reverse living  Cain’s life and the “river shall end at the source” and all (if the source ain’t Lucifer, but the action, the source that turned Cain) and Dean only shortly comes to realize it and sees clearly, terror in his eyes. And then suddenly, out of thin air Chuck materializes and asks Dean the same question he asked Cain all those centuries ago. Black screen.

All that said, brother’s keeper does apply to both Winchesters, so I think a fight is absolutely in the cards. It would pick up the thread of Dean having to kill Sam like people always told him he should and Sam saying in the beginning of the season he’d have to kill Dean. Eithr way it’s going to be epic and hurty and angsty. Also, something else I can see happening: Crowley dies OR what I would find even more compelling, he chooses to becoem human, offers hismelf as the third trial and Dean does all three hell trials, purifies himself and they slam the gates of hell shut with Rowena on the inside.

Phewww, that was more than I thought I had to say LOL. Like always, just some crazy thoughts. :)

11x20 first reaction

GOD DAMMIT NO You can’t finish there!! I mean I know I said I don’t like the idea of Chuck as God and when he started talking about cat blogs I thought my worst fears had come true, but the way he was able to switch back in an instant to a really menacing figure really helped. Which is also to be honest it’s the first time I’ve felt fearful of a supernatural being in SPN in a long time, probably since we first saw Lucifer in season 5. So kudos to Rob for being able to pull that off, and kudos to Robbie for writing something completely over the top but pulling it back for the big emotional punch at the end. And man was that a punch!

A beautiful song sung beautifully by Rob that’s I’m still kinda speechless over. If we didn’t have a season 12 in the works I’d say it feels like they’re definitely gearing up for the ending, as in the actual series end. The way Chuck wrote the final pages almost feels as if an indirect message from the writers teasing us that they know how the story ends - though logically it’s doubtful that they’ve gotten that far yet.

And do excuse me for jumping every time the word ‘river’ is mentioned now but one of the first lyrics of ‘Fare Thee Well’ (which is too similar to Team Free Will but that’s by the by) is ‘I’d fly up the river to the one I love’ which not only returns to the idea of the river ending at the source, but also brings back the idea of love.

It appears to be love and home that is waiting at the finish line, just like for Jesse and Cesar in 11x19. 11x13 hammers the idea of home being where the heart is, and 11x12 tells us to follow our heart etc. It is love that is going to bring Cas back, and also love that is going to guide our boys, like the dove in the song, towards the finish line *sobs*. Maybe it will also be love that stops Amara from completing her ‘re-writes’, meaning the love of her brother rather than the false love she is trying to force upon Dean, but that’s just speculation. But you know what? God said he was lonely in the beginning, it’s possible that Amara felt just as lonely? Two polar opposite forces feeling totally isolated because they don’t understand one another. And now Amara is trying to get back to how things were in the beginning, only in place of God she wants Dean by her side (shout to all those who love the idea of divine!Dean). Someone who she believes can love her and can bring her peace.

“It’s all going away, forever. But not you Dean.”

On another note I get what people are saying about the info dump, I can’t remember everything that Chuck and Metatron talked about without re-watching the episode, and it did sometimes feel like a check list of previously unanswered questions (which is as good as it is bad, I guess). I.e. the amulet was switched off, God did keep bringing Castiel back etc.

Questions, when Dean shouted ‘stop this!’ was he addressing Amara or Chuck? Or a better question may be did the plea reach Amara or Chuck? Either way this is probably the first prayer that God has answered in a very long time.

And does this mean that Amara torturing Lucifer has had no effect on God? Since he hasn’t apparently done anything to save him. Or perhaps this is the reason why God calls upon Metatron to help him. I guess it would be interesting if God purposefully called Metatron in the hopes of getting the good kick up the backside he needed to get him back in the game, so to speak. He’s not only been hiding in the bar, he’s been hiding behind the ‘Chuck’ persona for such a long time and strangely enough, I wasn’t expecting this anyway, it’s Metatron who lays the truth bare and pulls God out from behind the mask.

Speaking of Metatron I’ve always had a soft spot for the little s***, but he nearly made me cry here. Yep, I’m gonna admit it. To finally see him display some of the characteristics of humanity he preaches to God about (he’s weak and he cheats and steals, but he hasn’t given up. He searches for food in a dumpster but then gives it away to a dog - no singing and dancing though thankfully xD). It’s a redemption arc, and he’s gaining a sort of forgiveness in feeling true remorse for his actions but at the same time he still has to continue his punishment, no fixes, no becoming an angel again… He himself admits that is probably a good idea.

I’ll probably think of more, and there’s loads more in this episode to talk about *carefully studies every poster in God’s bar* - I haven’t even mentioned Sam and Dean in all of this! but man I am really looking froward to see where we’re headed. All around I had my doubts but this turned out to be a great episode :) Go Robbie!

“Really, Sam? You’re summoning me, now?" 

Sam shifted on his feet, watching Dean take in the ingredients for a summoning with disdain. He then paced around the demon’s trap, lips curling up into a sneer. After a full circle he gave the invisible barrier an experimental kick. Sam was proud of himself for not jumping when Dean gave a jerk, black eyes snapping up to meet Sam’s.  "Is this really necessary?” Sam steered himself, drawing himself to full height. “Well, it’s not like you’ve been answering my calls,” Sam retorted. He exhaled shakily and ran a hand through his hair while Dean returned to inspecting the space of his temporary prison.  “I just want to talk, Dean."  "Yeah? And how’s that going for you?” Sam’s jaw clenched.  “Talking to you? Lately? Not very well, actually. I don’t think you’ve really listened to a word I’ve said since you got that damn mark. Or before then, even. You shut me out, Dean. What the hell happened to us being a team, huh?"  Dean stopped, his side to Sam, half of his face shrouded in shadow. His head cocked to the side slightly, the corner of his eyes narrowing in a squint. Sam waited Dean out, wishing he could read his brother’s mind for the umpteenth time.  "That what this is all about?” Dean asked, turning to face Sam once more. His eyes were green and for a second he looked like Sam’s brother, and oh did that hurt. But then he tapped two fingers over his mark and while his eyes didn’t turn black, there was still a darkness in them that threatened to break Sam just from its existence alone.  “And what? You gonna try to cure me now, Sam? Feed me your blood? Make me as weepy and pathetic as Crowley?” Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes. Sam, not one to be cowed, folded his arms and shrugged.  “Maybe, if that is what it will take. This isn’t you, Dean. I want my brother back.” Dean physically flinched at that and his eyes flickered, black and cold for a split second before he reigned himself in.  “Ever thought that maybe this is who I am, Sam? What I was always going to become? One way or another, this was how things were going to shake down.” Sam shook his head in adamant denial.  “No. No, I refuse to believe…"  "You couldn’t have stopped it, Sam. I was marked for Hell before I sold my soul. Cain and Metatron were just…” Anger flared at the sound of Metatron’s name. Sam couldn’t bare to hear any more excuses and snapped. “If you had just trusted me, Dean, none of this would have happened! You shouldn’t have faced Metatron alone!” His deep bellow ricocheted off the concrete walls of the bunker’s storage room and seemed to hang in the air for a heavy minute. In that time Dean remained still, green eyes narrowed, his body vibrating with restrained energy. Sam swallowed roughly and continued to stare him down.  “He would have killed you, Sam,” Dean said eventually, tone low and each word sounding like they were pushed out. Sam’s heart twisted in his chest.  “Yeah, he probably would have, but it would have bought you time, Dean. It could have given you that one minute you needed. It would have been worth…"  "You would have died!” Dean roared. The walls around them quaked as Dean slammed his hands against the invisible barrier, eyes as black as coal and face twisted in an ugly expression of rage. “Don’t you dare fucking say it would have been worth it when he would have slaughtered you!"  "At least you wouldn’t be a fucking demon! You wouldn’t have died in my arms for… I don’t even know what number that was! At least you would still be human, Dean! So yeah, it would have been worth it.” Sam took a shuddering breath, meeting the rage in his brother’s stare.  “You really think so, Sam? That the scene you been playing in your head? We go down there together, take Metatron on as a team? And while he’s ripping you apart in front of me and Cas upstairs get his fucking act together and break the tablet that what, last minute I swoop in and kill Metatron with the blade? He’s dead and you’re dead but that’s fine! At least Dean isn’t an honorary member of the black eyed gang so it’s all good, right? It was worth it! That what you think would have went down?” Sam nodded, unable to trust himself to speak at the moment. Since Dean had come back as a demon all those months ago it was all Sam could think about, dream about. If Dean had just trusted him, they wouldn’t be there, his brother unable to step over a barrier meant for demons, for God’s sake! Dean was nodding as well, rubbing his chin like he was going over the scenario in his head, contemplating. He shrugged with his mouth, head tipping like he agreed.  “Yeah, okay. Maybe. Except the story’s not over Sam. So here we are, back at that warehouse. You’re dead, bleeding out on the floor. Metatron’s dead, still stuck on the end of my blade, the light show dimming. And then what? Did you think about what would happen after I pulled the first blade out of his rotten corpse?” Dean asked. “The important part is that you would be…” Sam began to reply, not surprised that Dean didn’t let him get very far.  “Alive? Demon free?” Dean slammed his hands again the barrier once more, nails raking down, turning singed and bloody. Hell fire danced behind his coal black eyes. “Do you see the fatal flaw in your theory yet, Sam? All your martyrdom would have been for nothing because as soon as I pulled the blade out of Metatron’s heart I would have turned it around and plunged it into my own!"  Sam rocked back at the confession, expression breaking. It was a truth he didn’t want to accept, but he could see it in his brother’s eyes, the color of them inconsequential. He felt like he was moments from shattering.  "So you’re saying that no matter what, this is still how things would have gone down?” Sam forgave himself for letting his voice tremble audibly. Dean, for his part, actually looked affected. Sam could almost convince himself that the thing masquerading as his brother was regretful.  “That is exactly what I’m saying, Sam. I wasn’t meant to be saved.” Sam had to close his eyes then, had to try to shut out the gentleness in Dean’s voice. He sounded like him, like Sam’s Dean. It was more than he could handle.  “Sam, I’m sorry, but this is how things are gonna be for now on. I was always hell bent, the moment Mom made that deal with Azazel and all but threw you down the pit with me. There is no passing go for me, no collecting two hundred dollars, and there ain’t no coming back from this. The mark’s not going to let you cure me, Sam. You can try, but you’re not gonna get what you want."  Sam nearly choked on a sob.  "When do I ever?” His voice cracked, eyes wet when he opened them again. He stared at Dean searchingly, wanting so badly to believe that he was wrong. Dean stared back and that really was regret in his expression. Demon or not, there was some of the old Dean in there and it was enough for Sam. He hauled in a deep breath and came to a decision. With a nod he steeled himself and stepped into the trap with Dean.  “Sam, what…"  "Okay.” Sam reached out for Dean’s arm. Dean jerked back instinctively but he didn’t wrench himself completely away when Sam grabbed him by the wrist to yank his shirt sleeve up, exposing skin. His hands were amazingly steady when he let go to reach into the inside pocket of his black jacket and pull out a knife. He offered the hilt to Dean. Dean stared at it, frowning, then looked up at Sam. He didn’t need to voice the question in his eyes.  “I just want to be with you, Dean. I don’t care what the circumstances are, I just want to be with my brother.” He offered the knife again and that time Dean took it, silent and still frowning. Sam stepped back and out of the trap, tearing his eyes away from Dean. He bent down at the edge of the circle and pulled out the weathered knife from his boot. A few scrapes and the seal was broken. Dean was free. Sam remained knelt, head bowed, unable to look up and see whether or not Dean was still there. Sam wouldn’t blame him if he had left, though. Too much had happened between them. Sam was a fool to even think that Dean would want anything to do with him. He jerked at the sound of his brother’s voice over the near silent sound of skin splitting around steel.  “There’s no turning back from this either, Sammy."  Sam looked up at the endearment, eyes wide. He barely dared to hope. Barely dared to breathe. Dean stepped out of the circle and offered his uninjured hand to Sam. Dark blood dripped from his other wrist, blackish red rivulets marring his skin. Sam breathed out explosively and clasped Dean’s hand, letting his brother help him up to his feet.  "I know. As long as we’re together, I don’t care,” Sam said honestly. Dean looked at Sam solemnly, his eyes green and sad. He lifted the wounded arm up, offered it to Sam. He nodded his assent.  “Thank you,” Sam breathed, heart felt. His hands were trembling then, relief and gratitude and hope crashing down on him in waves. With utmost tenderness he grasped Dean’s arm and brought the cut to his lips. “Thank you, Dean.” The first taste of Dean’s blood was sharp and burned down his throat like cheap whiskey. Tears trickled down Sam’s cheek. Dean’s hand clasped around the back of Sam’s head and Sam let out a whimper at the gentleness in his brother’s touch. “It’s okay, Sammy. Everything’s gonna be alright now. Just you and me against the world.” Sam gripped Dean’s arm tighter, sank his teeth into the wound to encourage more blood to coat his tongue and slide down his throat. He was already feeling lighter, stronger. Drinking his brother’s blood made Sam feel like he was finally coming home.