and meditates

The thing about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that I never see referenced is that Splinter was essentially a single dad raising four rambunctious boys and that could NOT have been easy. So this piece titled “Daddy!!!” is my tribute to the first super heroes I ever became a fan of, to single dads everywhere, and to anyone who’s ever burned a pizza in the oven.

Just Sit

‘Keep it simple, don’t make it complicated. Concentrate on the breathing, sit straight - that’s all. Every day, do a few minutes, and, on top of that, do it spontaneously in different places - not just in front of the shrine, but everywhere. There’s so much merit in just sitting there.’

- Dzonsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche, Do Nothing, from the Winter 2009 issue of Tricycle: The Buddhist Review.

Can we transcend our religion for a more vast spirituality?

There comes a time when we have to transcend our religion-barriers. Religion is good, but we have to go far beyond religion. Religion will tell us about God; sometimes it will create fear in us when we do something wrong. The religious approach to God is mostly through fear. But the spiritual approach to God is always through love. It is not out of fear that we approach God but out of love. We want to establish our inseparable oneness with God. I don’t want to say that religion does not have love for God, because it has. But fear of God very often looms large in people who practice religion. People who practice Yoga do not have that kind of fear. They have only love of God. Oneness with God is what they want.

Religion feels that there is someone called God who is high above, in the sky or in Heaven or somewhere else, and that all Peace, Light and Bliss are with Him. But Yoga will say that where I am is Light, Peace and Bliss; where I move around is Truth. Truth and I are inseparable. Religion does not claim that oneness. Religion will say Truth is somewhere else; we can have a free access to it eventually. It says Truth is somewhere, Light is somewhere, and only if we pray and meditate will we one day see the face of Truth and Light. But Yoga will say, “No. Where I am, the very thing I am looking for is also there. I am the very thing that I am now looking for, searching for, striving for. Everything is already inside me, only I have forgotten it, I cannot recognise it or I have misplaced it.” Yoga tells us to look for our inner wealth, to discover and bring to the fore what we eternally have. Spirituality is Yoga in a vast and broad sense.

Sri Chinmoy, Flame-Waves, part 6


We’ve been busy lately. Tons of an appointments, finally a cardiac diagnosis and a possible explanation for all my illnesses! More testing to come but we at least have a lead on the syndrome that could be causing everything. Finally getting my immune system deficiency figured out too, so meeting with an immunologist in the near future as well. I’ll post more info about some of the specific battles I’m facing in the near future.

|| I should be writing. But today is Monday. We leave for MD on Thursday and I’ve practically deep-cleaned my apartment in anticipation. And what am I doing now that I’m not cleaning obsessively? Chainmaille. Yup. I already have a Slytherin and a Gryffindor bracelet made, so why not Ravenclaw?

Why not Zoidberg?

Apologies now, one and all. I doubt I will have brain to do much this week. We’re down to single digits and I’m LOSING FUCKING MIND!!!!!!!

Sometimes it’s so easy to look elsewhere for satisfaction, to seek things we think will “make us happy”. But in reality, your happiness comes from within. You don’t need anyTHING to be happy, it’s more a matter of how you look at what you DO have. A shift in perspective. So, slow down once in a while and take the scenic route. Breathe. Observe. Be thankful.
Happiness, like everything else, will transiently come and go. And it wouldn’t be so desirable if it didn’t. But, I believe that each happy moment, memory and thought leaves a lasting mark on us. They create a source of eternal happiness, buried deep within us all. And, when we are truly present, when we try our best to appreciate the life we have been given, we are rewarded by the warmth of this internal happiness as we rekindle it’s embers.
- George

The Call of the Morrigan

I knew her when I was young. I knew her when i was a little wild thing, running through forests like a hound, following crows, crouching low to spy through trees at fawns and does.

I knew her when I was young. When I was strong and sullen and speaking brave and acting bold, when fear gripped me in both hands like I was a sword to be swung, wringing out in a battle-tongue. I took fists and spat blood, felt the crack of my skull burn against walls. I knew her then, when I went silent, and she knew all.

Years hazed over, like a purple twilight, from the wild wood to the city pressed tight. I learned so many things. I swam in words. I followed streams. I dived into deltas, forded rivers, jumped like a salmon back to the source.  

It was a greening time. A wing-spreading time. I met more spirits, I made more friends, I followed different paths, I divided, and multiplied, and divined. 

But time, and life, as they do, circle back. The wheel turns, and we turn with it. I didn’t know she had perched and roosted close, watching me grow, like an oak, into strength and womanhood. 

She had waited. She had patience. She dropped feathers while I quested, and hesitated. Waited until I too, went to the ford, to wash the ghosts from my clothes, to bash them on the rocks, and send them from me in moving waters, loving waters, released from their bonds.

She has been waiting to show me how to scrub just so against the blood, how to slap the cloth and drown the stain, how to kill it and clean it, and become my own, again. 

And when we’ve done the laundry, she will teach me how to guard my newfound country. She will stand sentinel with me. She will teach me what it is again to be a bird and a sword, a witch and a wild thing, and free.

Guarded by unsleeping mind of seven flames, the circle was complete. A journey of feelings, experience of unconscious mind.

1 - Unsleeping
2 - Seed of the desert
3 - Feral cat
4 - Path of around

Artūrs Afanasjevs - Rhytm, lead guitar
Armands Viļums - Solo guitar
Alberts Jansons - Midi/synth electronic
Dante Giurra - Bass
Dāvis Kovaļš - Atmospheric, lead guitar
Uģis Jansons - Drums, vocal
Kārlis Pūķis - Vocal, flute

Recorded in studio, “Focus on music”
Riga, Latvia
April 2017

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