and maybe serial killers

petbud  asked:

I love how non-spontaneous all your jokes are… You’re as insincere as a fucking dildo at times, cause you’re funny as fuck, like a real goddamn dick. But every joke is just some phoney fucking dildo. Plastic, insincere as a pocket pussy. You are the real dick, so stop hurting yourself man, you got this, just relax, take a xanax, and try and not deliver your jokes with some sorta sitcom-expectation. Do you have the potential to be Bootydiaries? Maybe, she’s as sincere as a serial killer

I love how non-spontaneous all your jokes are… You’re as insincere as a fucking dildo at times, cause you’re funny as fuck, like a real goddamn dick. But every joke is just some phoney fucking dildo. Plastic, insincere as a pocket pussy. You are the real dick, so stop hurting yourself man, you got this, just relax, take a xanax, and try and not deliver your jokes with some sorta sitcom-expectation. Do you have the potential to be Bootydiaries? Maybe, she’s as sincere as a serial killer

VIGILANTE  SENTENCE  STARTERS. 

these are some vigilante starters in the pov of city street people, categorized in the forms of negative, positive and neutral.

NEGATIVE.

❝ This is a job for the police, not a mutant monster. ❞
❝ Why doesn’t she/he let the police handle it! ❞
❝ He/she/they is always getting in the way of police work! ❞
❝ I don’t think we feel protected with a monster on the loose! ❞
❝ That’s no hero. That’s someone looking for attention. ❞
❝ That is no hero! She/he needs to be behind the bars! ❞
❝ This superhero person just gets away with all these crimes! ❞
❝ I don’t like the idea of someone flying about the city. ❞
❝ Why haven’t they captured this person yet? ❞
❝ I think this ’ hero ’ ought to turn themselves in! ❞
❝ You aren’t no hero. You are just another criminal. ❞
❝ Who gave them the right to law into their own hands? ❞
❝ Why is the ’ hero ’ so privileged? ❞
❝ I’ve had enough of this city’s crazy vigilante! ❞
❝ I want justice to be brought and served to this masked person! ❞
❝ I can’t believe people actually think this is a hero. ❞
❝ Oh, so, we can take justice and law into our own hands now? ❞
❝ This ’ hero ’ is a bad influence on our children. ❞
❝ I don’t want my children looking up to some criminal! ❞
❝ This hero has proved that this city is going to fall to anarchy. ❞
❝ Whoever they are, they just need to go back to wherever they came from. ❞ 

POSITIVE.

❝ I think they’re doing some good for our city. ❞
❝ No offense, but, they’re doing a lot more than the police ever did. ❞
❝ Yeah and that superhero has saved my life countless times! ❞
❝ They’re not a criminal, the police like working with them. ❞
❝ I’ll have you know the police would be lost without them. ❞
❝ Hey, I kind of like this new superhero guy/girl. ❞
❝ Our city needs this kind of hero, have you seen the criminals lately? ❞
❝ I think what you’re doing here, superhero, is good. ❞
❝ You only ever see the bad in anything, never the good. ❞
❝ What do you likes o much about this vigilante anyways? ❞
❝ They have saved a lot more lives than anyone else could of saved. ❞
❝ So what? The police have an extra hand with things? It’s good!  ❞
❝ I used to never read the paper, until our superhero came along. ❞
❝ I watch the news everyday just to the masked hero. ❞
❝ You know, they saved my life once. Just remember that. ❞
❝ What’s so bad about breaking minor crimes to stop someone? ❞
❝ I’m not saying they aren’t at fault sometimes but they are good. ❞
❝ This ’ hero ’ is the best thing to ever happen to this city! ❞
❝ I’m kind of a fan of the hero flying about our city. ❞
❝ I feel much safer walker the streets with our new hero at large. ❞
❝ The day this city’s hero leaves, is the day I leave. ❞

NEUTRAL

❝ Anyways, have you seen/heard about our new profound hero? ❞
❝ Why does he/she/they have to be all dressed up for anyway? ❞
❝ I really like the suit they fly around in. It’s nice. ❞
❝ So, is that tights your wearing or what is that? ❞
❝ I just wanted to say, I’ve always wanted you to save my life. ❞
❝ What’s this suit made of? Did you make this yourself? ❞
❝ Hey, just throwing it out, if you ever need a sidekick one day.. ❞
❝ Do me a favor and never save my life ever again! ❞
❝ Don’t you have a life to be saving somewhere? ❞
❝ What is that? What was that? Wait.. is that? A person? ❞
❝ My city has a flying superhero or something, you’ll get used to that. ❞ 
❝ You totally have a crush on that superhero person. ❞
❝ This is kind of like a movie or something, isn’t it? ❞
❝ Why is that superhero person hellbent on hiding their  identity? ❞
❝ Maybe that superhero kills people at night, like serial killer. ❞
❝ Whenever I grow up, I want to be just her/him/they. ❞
❝ Wait, wait.. I just wanted to ask.. could I have your autograph? ❞
❝ How do you ever get used to living with a flying person in the city? ❞
❝ Have you seen the news lately? That superhero is all over it. ❞
❝ I want to follow the superhero, see where they go, find out who they are. ❞
❝ Let’s go on a mission to discover who this masked helper is, yeah? ❞

Milk

Under the Bed

Nettie is eating ice cream. The cold burns against her silver incisor, but feels good against the small cut inside her mouth she’d gotten last week. It’s an even trade.

Nettie is all about even trades.

Most think that they liked to be paid in money. Old money, sure, gold and silver that doesn’t have the same sort of inflation risk as paper, but that implies that they have something to spend it on.

No, Nettie’s maybe the only one who knows what sort of things monsters like to be paid in and is willing to provide it. Which is why she’s sitting in the middle of a park at 3 am waiting for her contact to arrive.

At 3:03, her contact’s preferred meeting time, the fog rolls in. Nettie rolls her eyes as it creeps through the sparse trees ahead of her, turning the grass silver under the moonlight with precipitation. So dramatic and not at all secretive. Her eyes flick up to the security camera mounted on the lamppost across the street. She wonders when the government will admit they see monsters at night. She hopes it’s not in her lifetime.

That’d be bad for business.

The outline of a tree several yards away from her begins to waver. It looks like someone might be behind it, a darker band appearing around the trunk as if someone is hugging it. Then they’re gone and the same wavering, black shadow appears behind a tree several feet ahead of it.

Nettie watches and eats her ice cream, glad that her leather jacket is hiding the way her arm hair is standing on end. She’s never been the type to hide her fear.

Then she met beings who enjoyed it.

A dark pool in front of her widens, the shadows twisting upwards. She calmly takes a  bite of the cone as the shade forms, the shadow creature not stopping until it’s reached its full height at seven feet.

She feels the sensation of pumice in her mind and frowns. “Gren? Where’s Mandy?”

The shadow figure ripples, for once not kicking up a fuss at her nicknames for them. An orange light flares briefly in what one might assume was its hand but she knew to be its mouth.

Her spine snaps straight. “What?”

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Cracked After Hours got a new group of geeks who will be responsible for half the videos from now on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jZ9g9_gdYc

If you’re new to the series, the actors play characters that share their names and are partly inspired by themselves, but are otherwise highly exaggerated and fictional. I can best compare it to Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale who is played by a gay man named Cecil.

For example, real Soren is married to a beautiful blonde woman and together they make beautiful blonde babies.
After Hours Soren is a rich playboy with serious commitment issues. He had sexual tension with Katie for a while but the closest thing to a “stable relationship” he has ever had is Daniel, and their friendship did turn sexual for about two years, but they’re back to being platonic friends again.
So yeah, there are some pretty huge differences between the actors and their characters even if they share the same names. At least I hope Katie isn’t actually a latent serial killer…

So I’m looking forward to where they’ll take the new guys. All we know so far is that Kimia is hella’ weird, and that according to real Daniel his characters is in love with literally everyone from the second group. (Which means the only person in the After Hours universe who’ll never have a chance in hell of getting into his pants is Katie whom he for some reason is antagonistic towards. Maybe it’s the serial killer thing)

Also, it’s impossible to draw Cody and not make him look like a creep. Fact.

I just realized...

Who the fuck is the protagonist of Hannibal?

I mean every show must have some kind of protagonist, right? But in Hannibal every fucking one of them is out there doing the shadiest of shady things and literally killing people left and right.

One could say it’s will but even he doesn’t really fit into it. The show is basicly him learning to kill and falling in love a cannibalistic serial killer.

Is it Hannibal? Well maybe. Who knows anymore. That guy is certainly protecting something.

It’s not really Jack either. Or Alana. Or Doctor Chilton. They all used people in horrible ways and some of them even killed for their agenda.

Is it Beverly? Price & Zeller?? Buster????

anonymous asked:

winteriron neighbours au bucky is 28 or 29 and tony is 24 or 25, where bucky and tony live next to each other and tony is scared of him. bucky is always grumpy, angry, glaring at everyone. tony thinks bucky is a serial killer. one day he just blurts it out and bucky is very offended. that's how they start talking. later when they start dating steve still can't get over the fact that tony had thought that bucky was an assassin. he still laughs at them because of that. happy ending.

Resting Bitch Face/Bucky will always be one of my top pairings lmao. (Man I had plans for this and then I threw in angst lol I’m a failure.) Look out for under the cut!

You can also find this on Ao3 here.


Tony was pretty sure his neighbor was a serial killer.

Like, he’d done the proper thing his mother had said to do, introduce himself to his new neighbors (he had a standing offer to have coffee with Bruce anytime), but when he’d knocked on the door of 4D, a man had answered looking ready to commit murder. There had been bags under his eyes and his eyes were red and his hair was a mess. He’d grunted out a terse ‘the fuck do you want’ and Tony had been able to do nothing but squeak. And then the door had been slammed shut in his face.

Which, you know, might have been a little rude; no one looked good first thing in the morning and Tony had clearly blind-sided him. But the guy hadn’t had to slam the door in his face. He had planned on just nicknaming him ‘Rudy McTrudy’ and moving on with his life.

Except sometimes Rudy McTrudy came home late at night clutching his left hand with a towel that was stained with blood.

Tony nicknamed him ‘Murder Guy’ instead.

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Heat Burn - Haechan

*in which your soulmate’s name is written on your body and as you get closer to meeting them the name starts burning and getting darker


another soulmate au that one person asked for

Characters: Mark, Haechan, Reader

Pairing: Haechan/Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 6.7K


Cold wind forced itself against your face, pushing heavily into the back of your eyes as you sat against the concrete steps of your school. You had left your coat in the now locked-building behind you, and were left with nothing but a light weight jacket and your frown. The fall air slipped underneath the neck of your sweater, crawling towards your chest and hands, which you had grasped tightly between your legs in hopes to conserve some sort of warmth. You could see the faint lettering just above the washed denim of your jeans, which only allowed any curious eyes to make out the first few letters.

It didn’t matter though. You knew what it said underneath your cold weather garb. It was written plainly enough in an untidy scrawl against the veins of your inner wrist. The color was a faded gray, like a misprinted newspaper. It was only nine letters.

Donghyuck.

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I’m just thinking, would people mail the Fake AH Crew weapons?

Like, maybe not to the extent as AHWU, but they definitely get sent weapons, especially with how many people obsess over serial killers.

Like maybe it makes it on the news that a murder weapon was linked to a guy in Kentucky, and a Fake admitted that someone sent them the murder weapon as a gift, and then it just goes downhill from there.

The Fakes are soon overflowing in cardboard boxes and knives, swords, bows, crossbows, and pellet guns, and the boxes just keep coming. They eventually make a video on YouTube, and its either telling everyone to stop sending them weapons, please, they can’t see over all the cardboard, the crew leader has been missing for three days

Or its an unboxing video that just enables all their crazy fans even more, and the top trending channel on YouTube becomes an unboxing channel from the Fake AH Crew, even making it on the news. The Vagabond stands menacingly in the corner as Mogar, Tuggey, Pattillo, Dooley, and Zed open box after box of weapons.

anonymous asked:

So when you speak of abolishing prisons, does that include mental hospitals/asylums? It seems that maybe putting people like serial killers there would be a viable option.

Mental hospitals and asylums are often some of the worst offenders when it comes to abusing the patients in their care. Asylums have been used to exploit and abuse the most vulnerable in our society for decades. So no, I wouldn’t agree that it’s a viable option for serial killers. Especially because a lot of serial killers aren’t mentally ill anyway, and the assumption that they are is a pretty harmful one to make.

Anything Can Happen In The Next Half Hour - One

Spencer Reid x Reader

Spencer was exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep. He’d been lying in bed for an hour trying to convince his body to give in to the darkness but he just couldn’t shut off.

Sighing, he pulled out his cell. It was a long shot, it was 2am after all. But he wondered whether she’d be online still. The mysterious woman he’d started talking to five weeks ago on chatzone. Reid had made a profile on the site after overhearing Penelope telling JJ that she’d met her latest beau on there. Garcia was Pink-oracle, Reid had accidentally come across her online one night, and had quickly exited that chat room. He hadn’t uploaded any photos but he wasn’t taking any chances on Penny working out who Drblackjack21 was.

One evening he’d taken the plunge and private messaged a woman he’d been speaking with casually in a literary lovers chat room. Trancedancequeen was her screen name and she’d made a few casual remarks about one of his favourite authors and they’d struck up a banter. She was 28 and lived in the D.C area, which was intriguing for Spencer to know. Not that he’d ever end up meeting anyone from the internet…. Although, it had worked for Garcia, so who knew.

Trancedancequeen and Dr blackjack21 had fallen into easy conversation with each other, and most nights when Spencer logged in, she was there. A few times he’d beat her to it, and there were occasions that they missed each other, just leaving the odd offline message for each other which they’d respond to when they logged in. It was…. nice. Spencer found himself being bolder and feeling more confident speaking to this woman from behind a computer or cell phone screen, depending on what he was using. They shared similar interests in TV, films and literature and this woman didn’t seem bothered when he told her that he worked away a lot. She was apparently out of town a lot too, on business trips, although neither of them had shared what they did with each other.

The past few chats he’d had found himself engaging in what one could construe as risqué conversation. Not anything too bad, but Trancedancequeen had made a comment about finding a certain celebrity attractive, and then the conversation had turned from there into what their types were physically. TDQ had told Spencer she had long brown hair and green eyes, she was slim but curvy at the same time according to her description, and she liked tall guys with nice hair and nice lips. Not that her physicality mattered to Spencer too much, but she DID sound attractive. When Reid had described himself to her, she’d responded with, “You sound like just my type,” and then had proceeded to throw some flirty comments his way. At first he wasn’t sure how to respond to them but he just decided to throw caution to the wind, and go with it. He’d been talking to her earlier but had logged off to try and get some sleep, he didn’t have to go to work tomorrow but he’d felt exhausted after the week he’d had. But his brain was unable to rest. Logging back into the app, he was surprised to see the little light by her icon, a cartoon of a grinning kitten, flashing; signalling she was still online. He clicked the private message option.

Drblackjack21: Hi. Can’t sleep. Guess you couldn’t either.

TranceDancequeen: Nope… Can’t get my brain to stop thinking about work. Long week. Won’t bore you.

Dr: I don’t think you could ever bore me.

TDQ: Oh hush now. Smooth lines like that combined with the bottle of wine I’ve drank, and I’ll think you’re flirting with me.

Spencer grinned to himself and shifted on the bed.

Dr: What if I am?

TDQ: Then by all means, flirt some more. Wuu2?

Reid had initially had to Google the shorthand text speak that she’d used sometimes, not being used to it.

Dr: I’m lying in bed. I’m not really that good at flirting though.

TDQ: I’m in bed too. And I’m sure you are, you perhaps just don’t realise it.

Dr: Really, I’m not. Trust me.

TDQ: We’ll see. If you think you’re bad at flirting, how are you at sexting?

Spencer’s jaw dropped a little and he paused, not quite knowing how to respond.

TDQ; Shit, I’m sorry. I blame the wine. Unless… Of course, you want to?

Dr: Erm, I’ve never actually done it before…. But, I’m willing to try?

Spencer couldn’t believe he’d wrote that, he’d be terrible at this and she’d probably never end up speaking to him again. But….

TDQ: Alright…. So I’m lying in bed in my pink panties and a camisole. If you were lying with me, what would you do.

TDQ: PS - it’s that simple, but if you don’t want to then we can talk about something else.

Okay. Reid could do this.

Dr: If I was lying next to you (in nothing but my blue boxers), I’d start running my hand up and down your arm before moving your hair to one side and kissing your neck softly.

TDQ: I’d shiver at your touch and move my body closer to yours, my nipples hardening through my top at the feeling of your lips on me.

Fuck. She wasn’t wasting any time here. Spencer typed out a reply, thinking quickly. If he was with her, what would he actually do, that was all he had to write.

Dr: My hand drifts drift over to your chest, my fingers gently catching on your nipples, my lips moving lower.

The conversation went on in a similar vein for a while, Spencer feeling his dick growing hard and swapping his cell so the he could type with one hand, lightly palming himself with the other.

TDQ: I stroke up and down your length slowly, gripping you as your hands explore between my legs, feeling how wet I am.

Another message flashed up: click to view attachment.

Spender clicked it.

Jesus fucking christ.

The camera was at such an angle so that it showed the neck down only. She was holding her arm out and the photo showed her lying on her bed, the covers thrown off. The camisole she’d described was pulled down, exposing a pair of full, pale breasts with hardened pink peaks to the camera. The hand that wasn’t taking the photo, was between her legs, inside her underwear. Spencer groaned, licking his lips at the image. That was sexy as hell.

TDQ: You like?

Dr: Fuck…. I love.

TDQ: What about this one?

Another attachment appear and Spencer clicked it. It was a close up photo of her underwear, her legs spread. Spencer could see the discoloration of the fabric and his dick twitched when he realised why.

TDQ: See what you’re doing to me, doctor?

Dr: Oh fuck, I see. God, if I was there with you, I’d have to taste that.

TDQ: The question is…. What am I doing to you…

Could he? Fuck it. Spencer pushed his boxers down and took his cock into his hands, switching to camera mode and snapping a photo of his erection.

It didn’t look too bad…not that he really knew how a dick pic should look. Was there a certain etiquette to it?

Here’s to nothing. Spencer sent it.

TDQ: Oh my! Well…. I think I’d quite like to get my lips around that. Imagine them gliding up and down your shaft.

Spencer moaned as he imagined a brunette head of hair bobbing up and down on his dick as he slid his hand up and down it, feeling pre cum gathering at the tip. Typing was becoming a problem now, but he managed it anyway.

Dr: It would feel so good. I’d want to feel those wet lips on mine so I could make you feel the same way.

TDQ: Fuck, that sounds amazing. Grinding on your face as I suck you off. I’m so nearly there.

So was Reid. He was pumping faster now, going back to looking at the images she’d sent him.

Dr: I’d suck your clit in between my lips, rolling it with my tongue, feeling how wet you are for me.

There was a pause in her reply this time, but Reid could see that she was still online. He used that pause to his advantage, stroking himself harder, his hips bucking off the bed slightly as he felt the pressure begin to build up. Making sure his cover was clear of himself, he let the pressure release, feeling hot liquid spilling out onto his tummy just as another message flashed up.

TDQ: Fuck me….I just came so hard thinking of your head between my legs.

Reaching into his bedside drawer, Reid pulled out some baby wipes and quickly cleaned himself up, before typing back.

Dr: God, me too. That was… Wow.

TDQ: Yep… I suddenly feel ready to sleep. I don’t… Erm. I don’t normally do that by the way. Not on here. Thank you. It certainly released some tension. I’m logging off now. Speak tomorrow?

Dr: I’m glad I could help. And same. I’ve never done anything like that. Definitely speak tomorrow.

TDQ: Night night doctor.

He saw her light flash off to signal she’d logged off, and he did the same, settling down now feeling somewhat relaxed.

When Spencer awoke the next morning he logged straight back into chatzone. She normally wasn’t online so early at the weekends but he thought he’d give it ago.

She wasn’t online, but he could see she’d left him a message an hour ago.

TDQ: Hey. I’m probably overstepping a line here but, we both live in the same area and…. Well, I think that maybe we’d get on in real life. Would you maybe… Want to meet? I’m not a serial killer, I promise :)

Spencer hesitated before replying. He did get on with her, and last night was hella hot. And… Well it had worked out for Penelope. But it was completely out of the ordinary for him. But then again, so was last night. Maybe he did need to start taking some chances.

Dr: Okay. We can do that. I’m free this weekend, just name a time and place.

Spencer set his phone down, checking or every half an hour or so as he went about his morning errands. Finally at around 11am, he logged on to see she’d replied.

TDQ: Excellent. There’s a book cafe on second? Mutal ground. I can be there for 2pm. I’m feeling a daytime meet, just to make sure. :)

Spencer knew the place, and could see that she was still logged in. The message had only been sent three minutes ago.

Dr: Sounds like a plan. How will I known its you?

TDQ: I’ll try to get the booth in the corner and I’ll wear a dark purple sweater with silver stars on it. If we get on as well as I think we will, I’ll tell you my real name and give you my number.

Dr: Alright, I’ll be wearing a green duffel coat with a purple scarf. I’ll see you soon.

Spencer was nervous, so extremely nervous. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He pushed open the door of the cafe, inhaling the mixture of caffeine and books, and looked around.

She’d said she’d try for the corner booth so he made his way to the back, scanning the room for someone with brown hair and a purple sweater.

He could see a young woman sitting in the booth, chocolate brown hair loose over her shoulders and as he approached, he could see silver stars glittering on a purple jumper. She looked up from her phone which she’d been studying, tapping away, and then locked eyes with Spencer just as he reached the table.

It was only then he realised that he knew this girl.

Extremely well in fact. They’d worked together for the past eighteen months.

Her eyes raked over him, taking in his green duffel coat and purple scarf and Spencer saw her mouth form into an ‘o’ as she came to the same realisation just as he did, blushes forming on both of their cheeks.

“Shit!” were the first words Y/N said to him.

5

BAU Team x Reader / Reader x Mystic Falls Gang

Requested By Anon


“Ok so this case came in from a new deputy and they haven’t informed their Sherrif of our involvement yet however I really think we should look at the case.” Garcia informed you all as you sleepily shuffled into the meeting room.

“Great.” You croaked and sipped from the flask of ‘coffee’ in your hand as she handed out the tablets.

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Horrible, Beloved Characters

@Rainydaysarehereagain asked: “My main character is not a nice person. He is arrogant, selfish, lacks empathy, full of ego… Plus, he is cheating his fiancé. So, I have two question: 1) How can I make this character lovable for the reader? 2) How can his character have a happy ending?”

I can’t say this will be an easy thing to pull off. Character is really so important to a story. It’s often a make-it or break-it element for a lot of novels. You want to give your story the best chance by making the protagonist someone they will like. That doesn’t mean they have to be a good person - they just have to be likable.

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Hope’s Peak Academy is a school in Japan by the sea and it’s ♫ beautiful ♫ ! In the year negative a billion, Hope’s Peak Academy might not’ve been here. In the year -40,000 it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some people became talented, it became a school, and now there lots of trees! Because it’s warmer. So now there’s people at the school and they’re basically sort of hanging out in between the classrooms, eating drugged shit made by the chef, and using the latest technology. Like electronic identification, and knives. Ding dong, it’s the outside world. And they have technology from the future. Like really good weapons, and non-talented people. Now you can make a lot of non-talented people really really quickly. That means if you own the reserve course, you own a lot of people, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. The reserve course spread across the land, all the way to here. The most important reserve course camps were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important, ruled by a principal, or headmaster for short. Knock knock, get the door, it’s religion. The fashionista wants everyone to try this hot new religion from the depths of hell. “Please try this religion,” she said. “No,” said everybody. “Try it,” she said. “No,” said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. Then, the government was taken over by her and her minions, and they made some reforms. Like making the government govern less, and making the government more like a kindergarten classroom, which is a government that governs less. “Hi Hope’s Peak Academy,” the elementary school said. “Hi dipshits,” said Junko. “Can you call us something else other than dipshit?” said the elementary. “Like what?” said Junko. How about the ♫ warriors of hope ♫ ?“ said the elementary. And they stole Junko’s morals and wrote some diaries, about themselves. And then they made lots of corpses and robotic bears and more diaries about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the a possessed kid died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here. And they conquered the Towa City, finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named Monaca is bored with modern Despair and learns a better version which is more ♫ spiritual ♫ comes back, reinvents the government and causes murder to be ♫ great ♫ for a long, long time. And the air fortress turned into such a dream world of despair that they really didn’t give a shit about governing the country. So if you live outside the fortress, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ♫ hire Pekoyama ♫ Everyone started hiring Pekoyama. Correction: only rich gangsters hired Pekoyama . Poor people who could not afford to hire Pekoyama did not hire Pekoyama. The Kuzuryuu-clan became organized and powerful. More than the government, so they made their own military government here. They let the Monaca still make Monokumas, but the Kuzuryuu-clan is actually in control. Breaking news: Dangan Ronpa has invaded America. “We’ve invaded America,” said orenronren. “Please respect us, or we might invade you as well.” “Okay,” said Japan. So orenronren came over, ready for war, and then died in the something awful paywall. They tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tumblr translation mirrors. Then the Americans overthrew PC ports, then the PC ports overthrow them back and moved to Towa City and makes a new paradise, and Monaca can still make Monokumas if she wants, that’s fine. ♫ Now there’s more despair ♫ Like painting with less colors, collaborative murder, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, death, architecture, flowers. It’s time for Who’s Going To Be The Next Ultimate Despair? Usually it’s the Ultimate Despair’s kid, but the Ultimate Despair doesn’t have a kid, so Monaca tries to get the Ultimate Hope’s sister to quit being a highschooler and be the next Ultimate Despair. She says okay, but then Monaca says she’s gonna sabotage the whole thing anyway. So now who’s it gonna be? Vote now on your phones! And everyone voted so hard, that the Warriors of Hope caught on fire and burned down. Monaca actually didn’t care, she was somewhere being saved by Komaeda. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game. Knock knock, it’s Novoselic. No, they’re not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks. And guns. And ♫ Satan ♫ So that’s cool, but everyone’s still fighting each other for control, now with guns. And wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. This swimmer’s brother is ready to make a run for it. But first, they he has to cross a bridge which is in the way. Surprise! He dies, and Komaru Naegi steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. It goes very well. She’s about halfway through conquering Japan, when someone who works for her lusts after some rich blonde dude. And the rich blonde guy is a bitch. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody’s swords. And made some rules. “And now I’m going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China,” he said, and failed, and also died. But before he died, he told these 5 guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the 5 guys said “Yeah, right. It’s not gonna be this kid, it’s gonna be one of us. Because we’re grownups. And it’s probably gonna be Makoto Naegi, who happens to be way more rich and powerful than he others.” A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight. He wins! And starts a new government right here. ♫ Hope’s Peak ♫ And he still lets Monaca makes Monokumas, and have very nice things. But don’t get confused, this is the new government, and they are very strict. So strict, they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Novoselics, if they want to buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here. Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were opened, roads were built, everyone could read, books were published, poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Novoselic studies. People studied European science from books they bought from the Novoselic. We’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even serial killers. Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow dow- …..Knock knock. It’s the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. “Open the Game. Stop. Having it under the paywall.” said the United States. There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that let NIS translate the game. Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. And hen he miracle wears off. But everything’s still pretty cool, I guess. ♫ bye ♫

When A Stranger Calls Thoughts

Acting

  • The good
    • KJ, as always, gets a shout out. His facial expressions during the scene where Nick invites them to the party was so good. He was already wary of Nick, and that totally showed. However, during the breakup for Betty, about halfway through, he broke character. His lip started to quiver and he seemed heartbroken. Having to hurt CS, even if CS was in character, was a hard thing for him to do. I found that super sweet.
    • Vanessa KILLED! She is strong and sassy and just fantastic. I love how much she showed true empathy, whether Toni is actually empathetic or not, Vanessa played that beautifully.
    • Honestly, Jordan, he seems like such a good guy, so to see him play such an asshole shows great acting. I really love how sassy he seems. I’m looking forward to his inevitable one-liners.
    • Cole did well, for the most part, this week. I’ve been saying it for weeks that he was having Jughead flirt with Toni, and look who was right. I loved the myriad of facial expressions he went through after Toni called him “Juggie.” I hate Lice, but watching Cole break down like that was really great. And, as always, his acting was just off during the Lice scene, but otherwise, top marks.
    • I ALMOST FORGOT MADS. The silences are where the best actors shine. I almost love how few lines she has. She’s so emotive without talking.
  • The bad
    • I’m sorry, I hate Nick with all my heart, but seeing Graham as a bad boy was just so…odd. I’m so used to him playing a bitchy teenager on The Good Wife, and he wasn’t able to make me shake that. It just didn’t feel authentic.
    • Cami needs to stop watching the OC and gossip girl. I’d love to see her more as a Deb Morgan or Alex Nunez. She just plays Veronica so…slimy? And one dimensional? I hope she gets better, I mean, look at KJ now.
    • As always, LR. Nothing about this was good. It’s just simple, she can’t act, and I hate that people pretend she can. I wanted to feel bad for Betty, but I couldn’t stop cringing at how LR was playing her.  I mean, even just that first scene? She didn’t seem that scared? It took like three of those scenes for her to seem scared. I was just having such a hard time staying in the story when LR’s lip jutted out like it does for every single scene.

Characters

  • Betty is stupid. I don’t have a single positive thing to say about her. What the hell was she thinking? Going to that house? Answering the phone when there is a killer on the loose who you KNOW is doing it for you when it’s an unknown number? Being out alone at a bus stop? She had less sense than Archie had last episode, and that’s saying something. Also, I need more Archie and Betty, not because I like anything about them together, my hatred for Betty runs too deep. But because I feel like we are missing half this story. I want to see that playfulness, even in this situation. They love each other, so deeply, but that was just…missing. Also, I feel like The Black Hood is going to make Betty kill for him. Maybe as a serial killer, she would actually be a more interesting character.
  • The Black Hood, yes, he gets his own section. I feel like they watched every horrible police procedural with a ransom call and mushed them all together and came up with The Black Hood. He’s….funny. I was laughing. The lines were stupid and his obsession reminded me a lot of the LR is perfect brigade or Scamharts. He’s acting like a fucking fangirl, I mean, come on, can’t he be more innovative than that?
  • Archie was more of a friend this episode, which I really liked. We got to see Archie the caretaker. So much of the show has been focused on Archie and Archie’s problems, no matter how small or big they are. But we see Archie the best friend in a big way. I think that was really refreshing.
  • Nick is….real. With everything going on in the news right now, this was a perfect time for this episode to air. I think it was SO important. Nick is one of the worst types of people to walk the earth and they showed that expertly. I loved how he attempted rape on both Veronica and Cheryl so we saw it was a pattern and a well thought out one at that. I also LOVED how he said he was asking for it just by sitting there and flirting with him, which she shouldn’t have done, and I think says more about Cami’s lack of acting chops than anything. I also love how it’s the rich white boy doing the assault. One actual stereotype they didn’t follow. BRAVO! I get why Betty said his name, but I’d MUCH rather see a trial and watch Penelope destroy him. The other thing about Nick, it’s not just rape, it’s also peer pressure and drugs, and I think that’s really important. He made all the characters feel bad for themselves which caused them to give in. That’s just as manipulative as the rape and could have ended just as badly, probably would have if Betty had been partaking too.
  • Veronica was a very strong-willed woman tonight….and I still hate her. She gets major props for ending the song immediately the second she saw Cheryl and Nick leaving, and for kicking the shit out of him, all the Pussycats do. Those girls are FIERCE. But she was still so over the top and that drives me crazy. It’s like Fiona Coyne but less human. She should be more like Fiona. I’d like her a lot more if she was more like Fiona.
  • The Pussycats get their own category this week. First, I really wish they had chosen another song. This is the straightest least queer supportive show, and I felt like using Out Tonight was more queerbaiting. I loved Cami and Ash’s voices, they were PERFECT for the song. They have Broadway voices and I’m glad they finally used that to their advantage. Can’t wait to hear Mel and Val sing more. Asha and Hayley are fucking powerhouses.
  • Toni obviously has her own agenda, but it’s clear she cares about Jughead. She gave him that out and warned him before he was pummeled. If he goes through a sexuality crisis, it will be with her. She understands him and they are on the same wavelength, something Lice never has been. Jughead and Toni just work. My only anger is that they are keeping her straight, at least for now. She flirts with the guys, she should flirt with the girls too. It doesn’t have to amount to anything right now, but give us something, some wink or touch. Have more than one female serpent. You don’t get off the hook for diversity by having one POC girl in the serpents. That’s not progress, that’s quota.
  • Jughead was great, for the most part. I really don’t understand how Jughead and Betty can miss each other so much, it’s been two days, maybe less. I’m sorry, this is not how teen relationships work. This is not how any relationship works, actually, and for those who think it is, you must be a really fucking clingy partner. I think deep down Jughead knows that joining the Serpents is a bad idea and I think that shows on his face, I idly wonder why he’s doing it anyway. I really like him and Toni and hope that continues, they are really good for each other, the song choice was weird though unless they are implying this is the beginning of the end or something. Using a recognizable song there totally took me out of the scene for a second.
  • Alice. Fuck you. Blaming the victim???? REALLY? Though that outfit slayed and I totally thought it was Cheryl at first. That part was really well done.
  • Cheryl has gone through so much, LEAVE HER ALONE! I love how she put herself in that situation and they still made it clear that it wasn’t her fault. I am still completely shocked that he drugged her. I thought he thought she wanted it enough that she would have just gone back with him. She seemed to be interested, but I guess he thought she is stronger than that. That goes far towards showing Cheryl’s character. I love her and I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

My problems

  • In every interview, Cami was saying that Nick was Veronica’s ex…what happened to that. Does the cast just lie? Should we trust anything they say?
  • I thought hotdog was Jughead’s dog, that’s the implication we got in 13, what changed? Did the writers just forget their own narrative from just a few months ago?

Alright, that’s all I’ve got. Leave your thoughts below!