stuff that was (probably) overheard in the haus
holster: dude, which of these ties for the banquet?
ransom: well, I’d say this one looks better with your suit, but that one brings out those beautiful baby blues, bro
nursey: how can you not appreciate this? it’s ART, man! it’s a huge fuck-you to society’s standards, to their rules, to their total control over how we all have to look and talk and think!
dex: just admit that you put your shirt on inside out by accident
shitty: as she simultaneously tackles and proves herself in yet another field of art, this is clearly some of ms. duan’s most inspiring work yet. the composition, the lighting, the sheer beauty of the subject-
lardo: all i asked was if you thought this selfie was good enough for instagram
bitty: what the HELL, jack. i thought you were my FRIEND. i thought you had my back. i thought you were my captain, i thought i could trust you…but you betrayed me. get out of my kitchen. i can’t look at you right now. i need to be alone
jack: bits, all i did was accidentally buy margarine
farmer: i was super into yu-gi-oh when i was a kid
chowder: damn that’s weird because i’m super into YOU-gi-oh right now
farmer: that was terrible and i love you
jack: where are a double double and a box of timbits when you need them, eh?
ransom: ugh i know
bitty: what language is this
holster: if i staged a one man production of legally blonde the musical would you come see it
ransom: yes but you have to come to my one man show of wicked
lardo: if you could have dinner with any person who died who would you have it with? i think i’d pick frida kahlo
shitty: whoever invented weed
jack: when i was little i used to have nightmares about global warming because i was afraid the ice would all melt so i couldn’t play hockey anymore
bitty: that is simultaneously adorable and heartbreaking
dex: okay so you literally know how to knit but the minute i play any journey music I’M the old man
nursey: i’m classy old. i’m a gracefully aging angela bassett. you’re a white dad at a barbecue whose secret spice is pepper