To E.L.F whom I miss Are you guys doing well? You guys are healthy, right? I have been healthy all these time, and have been diligently learning a lot of things and growing up while living the army life. ^^
Recently, I’ve been going around while getting dispatched with Shindongie and Eunhyukie, we’ve been living life together so it was really fun, we’ve made enjoyable memories and are slowly ending our army lives. Before knowing it, Dongie and I are going to get discharged from the army soon. Even though our Ryeowookie is still in the training centre… The weather has became colder so I’m worried (for him). Hoping for our members to get discharged from the army healthily!
Now that we have lived life while being separated, it makes me think a lot about the times that had passed without resting… It also makes me think about the things (which I) lacked in previously…
I had a lot of things which I wanted to say back then.. Because I really had no idea how to say those words, I was really lost. I’m really thankful that I’m given a chance like this to write a letter. Even though I wouldn’t be able to fit everything that I want to say (in this letter), it would be great if my thoughts/feelings are being brought across. To be honest.. I know that it’s too late.. Even so, I wanted to tell (you guys) about how I feel despite it being late…
I’m still hurting and sad from how I hurt and made things hard for the fans before I enlisted… I didn’t do it (to hurt the fans)…
I really didn’t want to hurt anyone, and I really didn’t want to cause any harm to the members, too.. I thought about things for a long time, and discussed with the company.. I had also prepared a lot and thought about how am I supposed to let you guys know about this in the best way… It was confusing and suffocating for me when things didn’t go the way I thought it would.. I couldn’t do anything else but to withstand all these without saying a word…
To be honest.. I thought, “this is not right.. this is not it..”. I couldn’t do anything about it and time was flowing recklessly.. Before I knew it, in the eyes of the people who were far away from me.. I already became someone who wasn’t me… Even though I was indeed sad, I thought about how people could of course misunderstand (this situation) since I wasn’t able to say anything (back then)..
I’m still feeling unfortunate and sad.. Also.. Sorry about this..
My heart hurts..
To the people who still supported and protected me despite me being like this, I’m really thankful, and I want to repay (you guys) with my hard work. Also.. I miss you all..
Before we know it, it has became our 11th anniversary with everyone.. And also the members.. Now that I’ve looked back, I really feel grateful towards the fans who have loved and led me who was lacking so much.
I’ve always put (these words) deep down in my heart… I’ve always thought.. That things became this way because I wasn’t able to express my feelings properly like how I really felt.
I hope for the day where my heart/feelings would reach (you guys) to come…
Please look after me while I work hard..!
We would be able to meet soon.. Salute!
To. My babies whom I miss and always thankful for~ Hi? E.L.F. ^^ This is Recruit No. 40 Kim Ryeowook! kkkk Wah~ Our ELF are really the best when it comes to loving Super Junior,even the Suju magnae line are coming into the army~! Are you guys doing well? I got surprised because the weather suddenly got colder >.< The environment here is good, the food here is also especially good, everyone~ You don’t have to worry (about me) too much~ Has in been a little over 20 days?! Our ELF who supported me when I enlisted.. Also ELF who have cried while worrying about me.. To the cool ELF who have coolly sent me off since almost all the hyungs have came back already, thank you everyone~
The first day was really.. I couldn’t sleep well and I looked up at the ceiling thinking.. Where am I.. Who am I.. kk However, I’m doing fine with the rest of the 21~22 year old recruits now~ How do I say this.. I’m hanging out with them so much like friends that I tend to think that “am I really Suju”, “am I a bald high-schooler Ryeonggu” k.. We’re spending everyday relying on each other like family! You saw the photos, no~ ㅠ.ㅠ The photos which even I haven’t seen.. I’ve received letters on the fan-accounts (of the day I enlisted)~ Even so, I was really cool, right? kk I’ll come back again as a brave man! Salute! Yesterdat~ I wrote letters to each of the members and sent them through mail. Really.. The only way of communication in here is through letters and it’s the only precious time to breathe and rest, it’s as refreshing as drinking beer~ I don’t know why but I feel a little nervous thinking about how the hyungs and Kyuhyunie would be reading (my letters), and even though they probably won’t reply me, I end up waiting (for them to reply)~ Our ELFs, please tell them to reply me~ k (I’m half joking and half serious kkk) I wrote cards to the members before on 2005 Christmas.. I think about how the magnae Ryeonggu back then has now grown up to being 30 (years old) and currently in the army~ I ended up thinking about a lot of things while having to stand for night watch almost every night for 2 hours (we prepare for 20 mins and do duty for 1.5 hours).
The feelings and dreams~ Which I had before debuting.. The records.. And memories~ which I made after meeting the hyungs.. And also our ELFs who have walked those times together with us.. I still remember vividly the day, like it was just yesterday, when we went back to the dorm and discussed about the name of our fandom~ Precious memories like that.. Seems like Super Junior was my everything when I was in my 20s. From the start till the end.. There were a lot times where I thought.. Should I give up because it’s too tiring.. I’ve worked so hard but why is it that I can only reach this far.. I also blamed and was disappointed with myself a lot.. I was also really shaken up whenever my mom.. or my dad falls sick, my emotions went through ups and downs frequently.. What should I do.. The times were difficult for me, just like going through puberty. However, whenever I was like this, the hyungs taught and believed in me, and whenever I was sulky, they counselled and held on to me, there were a lot of times like this. Of course, I also thought about our ELF and set my heart to it, and overcame it all! I don’t know if it’s because of this, despite me being Super Junior, but I really love the hyungs and also our name as much as Super Junior fans.
All 19 of us are currently living together in the training centre, we eat and sleep together.. Train and talk together.. I really miss our Super Junior members. I also really really miss the ELFs who love our members… I’m also substituting the characters of our Super Junior members into the friends here in the training centre.. kk If I see similar points, I would say, “you’re like Donghae hyung.. You’re like Eunhyukie hyung”~ kkk Ah~ Now that I’m writing a letter.. I suddenly feel like singing.. After coming here, I haven’t been using my throat, so there seems to be thorns forming~
Even though it’s still very far away, I really want to get discharged quickly and sing (to you guys). With my stories ^^ From when we first debuted, till now. And even in the future, we’ll keep going on together, right? I can keep thinking like that and continue with my trainings, right? Are you guys replying me? kk We’ve (been together for) 11 years~ I wanted to see your faces.. Hear your voices.. And celebrate~ ELFs who have been waiting for (my) letters~ This is okay, right? It has a feel to it, no(?) kk I’ll celebrate (with you guys) all~ I want in the future! (Time) would go quickly if we had belief and love with us~ Don’t fall sick.. Why do I keep thinking about the lyrics to Like a Star… Even when I was recording (the song), it was very sad..
I really am doing well, and I will think of and miss (you guys) every day.. So, our ELFs must eat your meals properly and sleep a lot! It would be great if (you guys) don’t receive too much stress from work or studies~ Don’t kick the blanket away just because it’s not that cold~ Since it gets really cold at dawn, bring along a sleeping bag and use it kk be careful not to catch a cold~ ^^
I’ll be writing a lot of letters in the future~ We shall meet again through the letters~ Sleep well~ Oppa is going to sleep after a roll-call! Another night watch today, heok! kk
My love, E.L.F. Go on forever, E.L.F. Self-congratulations on 11th anniversary~ ^^ Recruit No. 40 Kim Ryeowook Super Junior Ryeowook From Ryeonggu to our lovely ELF
P.S. Since (the letter is going to be sent) through mailing, I wrote this in advance. The detail here is (me using) a blue pen (to write the letter) kkk