and look he has a cat

anonymous asked:

Awe I just saw your Valentine's Comic and it's so cute ✨ I can just imagine Sasuke eating the fish one by one being a blushy little dork while he walks to class. If Naruto catches up to him he'll try to snag one but Sasuke just holds it out of reach/threatens him with a "boi don't even" look ( ー`дー´). Thanks for being a cute bean artist 🌷

omg /// thank-you so much, I’m glad you enjoyed it haha! Also yess, for some reason Sasuke being a blushy dork and a doofus while having a secret crush on Sakura has been a favorite idea. I’m sure he kept the fishies to himself and maybe shared with a cat on the roof. 

anonymous asked:

did bob get shaved?

No, it’s due to excessive grooming due to anxiety (he basically has Cat OCD). The good news is that it’s not harmful to him at all - it just makes him look kinda silly.

Freckles✨

- I know that as soon as we all saw Dan’s freckles are reaction (2nd to whatever noise of approval you first made) was probs thinking about Phil’s reaction.

- They were probably slow forming- so neither really noticed until waking up one day.

-Imagine Dan sleeping in just his old lady cat shirt that comes down to the tops of his thighs.

-It’s hot in Florida- so the sheets are covering less than 50% of the bodies below.

- When Phil wakes up and looks at Dan-

-The sleeves are crumpled so his shoulder can be seen

-His head is resting on the pillow so Phil has a perfect view of his cheek.

-^ both of these absolutely covered in freckles.

-Phil would do a little giggle to himself bc Dan is so cute

- he’d run his fingers softly through Dan’s curly poof to wake him

- Dan makes a few soft noises before he rolls over to face Phil and his brown eyes meet blue ones.

- Phil would kiss Dan’s freckles on his cheek first before going in for Dan’s lips.

- “you’ve been covered in freckles.”

- Dan would blush and giggle a bit.

- “really?”

-Phil would continue to kiss every place spotted with freckles while Dan giggled the whole time

Bonus- “How in the world did you get freckles on the insides of your thighs?”

“PHILLLL!”

hufflepufftrax  asked:

Hey Host! There's a lot of art with you adopting a cat. What have you called it?

The Host stops for a moment, after reading this, and quickly looks at the animal that had pounced onto his desk.

He tries to act nonchalant but a quick stroke to its head makes him unable to stop grinning.

Perhaps he has not named it yet…?

No… he remember now.

His name is Author.

FDKSLFJS OK SO I JUST NEED TO SHARE WHY I REALLY LOVE THIS OFFICIAL ART

you can see yuri and yuuri clearly cheering, watching the football match and presumably aware of what’s going on:

“KICK THE BALL YOU FCKING MORON”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

BUT VIKTOR

LOOK AT HIM. JUST LOOK AT THIS DORK:

HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT HE’S WATCHING OR WHAT THIS SPORT IS HE’S JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME WITH HIS DOPE ASS HAT AND ENJOYING THE COMPANY OF HIS FIANCÉ AND HIS CAT SON

“GO BALL GO!!!!!!”

This is it. This is my favorite moment.

Chat is trying to be so suave and cool, but look at him. Look at this adorkable little cat son.

He’s so happy.

He gets to work with Marinette and she probably thinks he’s so cool, so he lets her reposition him and just goes along with what she says because Marinette has the best ideas and this is great.

He’s just so happy.

Sorry I stumbled on a gif set the other day and couldn’t get this out of my head.

THEY BOTH DO IT. Who taught these boys this move? Do you think it was Peggy?

Peggy (1940s): If I tell them falling over is a Good Fighting Tactic™ do you think they’ll believe me?

Peggy (2010s): Huh.

anonymous asked:

If one hypothetically wanted to read your Eldritch Abomination Garfield fic, how would one go about finding it as directly searching for 'garfield' hypothetically does not include the fic?

“They bought it?” Lyman asked as Jon hung up the phone.

“I got the contract,” Jon confirmed, dazed. “I’m — I’m syndicated.”

“You did it, man!” Lyman said, clapping him on the back. Odie barked.

“They’re already thinking about merchandising deals,” Jon continued, staring into space.

“I told you things were going to turn around for you,” Lyman said with a nod. Odie continued barking, making it clear that he was not just trying to be supportive. “Hey, look, I’ve gotta take the dog for a walk. If the alarm goes off while I’m gone, can you take dinner out of the oven?”

“Yeah,” Jon said, with no real conception of what he was agreeing to. He still had not yet finished processing that phone call, the idea that he was going to be paid, consistently, that he was a working cartoonist, that his comics would be in papers. Merchandising deals. Merchandising.

It was not until he heard the door that Jon realized he was alone in the apartment.

Just him, and Garfield.

From the corner, it growled.

Jon’s heart spasmed; he hadn’t realized it was in the same room. “H—hey,” he said. It would have been a dumb thing to say if it was a normal cat. It was a dumber thing to say under the circumstances. Its eyes glowed red in the shadows. “How are you?” he asked, then winced as the cat growled again. “Heard the good news?” he asked weakly.

MY END OF THE CONTRACT HAS BEEN FULFILLED

It rumbled through his brain like an earthquake, words without words. He covered his ears even though it wouldn’t help. “Yeah, thanks for—”

I WILL FEED

Jon’s heart spasmed again, overwhelmed with the sense of a hunger not his own. “Right, about that—”

YOU WILL FEED ME it said, words written in blood, thick and hot.

“—yes, I got that, I’m just not really sure what I’m supposed to—”

MEAT and the word throbbed, tore.

“Would chicken be okay?”

UNACCEPTABLE it said in broken bone and jellied marrow.

“I don’t want to stereotype you by assuming you want to eat my roommate—”

YES GIVE ME HIS HEART it said, pulsing, torn flesh.

“—but you can’t eat Lyman.”

I͇̤͜ ̭̩W̨͕̪̠͙I̧̫͍͕̤̥̥̥L̜̜̭͔̪͢L̡͉͍͍͓̣ ͇F̤̜E̤̱̼̩͙̺͢E̥̳̫D̯͚̰ͅ

The glowing eyes moved from the shadows, grew larger, taller. Hellfire, if fire could cast dark instead of light, orange and red, fire and blood. The indistinct shape that might have been a cat became an indistinct shape that might have been a man, large, always large. Jon shrank back as it stretched to fill the room, tried not to look directly at it. Hot breath and sharp teeth against his skin, even though it couldn’t have been, because he was still wearing his jacket.

There was a chiming sound.

WHAT WAS THAT

“Uh.” Jon swallowed, hard. “Dinner?”

FOOD

“Yes,” Jon said, “but I don’t know if you can eat people food…”

Garfield sat in the middle of the floor, wide as it was tall. Its gaze was baleful.

“Right. You can eat whatever you want.” Slowly Jon inched around the cat to head toward the kitchen. “I don’t really know what it is, though. It might be… vegan.”

Garfield hissed, the sound of pain, and Jon fled toward the oven.

I SMELL MEAT

Jon stopped himself from telling the cat get off the counter. “I think it’s a casserole,” he said, removing the dish to set it on the stove. He gingerly removed the lid, his hands safely wrapped in oven mitts. “Oh. It’s lasagna.”

GIVE IT TO ME

“It has to cool,” Jon said. Garfield hissed again, and the sound turned Jon’s blood to fiberglass. He backed away, and the cat leapt bodily and entirely into the baked pasta. It did not seem bothered by the fact that the pasta sauce was still bubbling, and Jon tried not to look at the void of its mouth. A black hole rimmed with fangs, an absence of all light, drawing in all that it touched to disappear within.

WHAT IS THIS it asked, and a hellfire paw batted at a stretchy piece of mozzarella.

“… cheese?”

The cat-shaped thing nodded, still sitting in the dish of lasagna.

WE DO NOT HAVE THIS

“You don’t have cheese in hell?”

It nodded again.

“I guess that’s what makes it hell.” If Garfield appreciated this observation, it did not show it. It cracked open its maw again, more lasagna disappearing, and Jon looked away. “That lasagna was supposed to feed us for a week,” he sighed. “How much longer do I need to do this?” he asked.

UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED

“Until I’m satisfied?”

YOU MUST FEED ME TO SATISFY YOUR HUNGER

Realization dawned. “Wait, but — I thought this was a one-time thing.”

IT WAS NOT

“If you leave, I get fired?”

PERHAPS

“So I might still be able to make it on my own.”

DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR SKILL IS ENOUGH TO BRING YOU ALL THAT YOU DESIRE

Jon thought of the portfolio sitting in his room, and sagged. “… no.”

It grew, limbs stretching, claws turning to fingers and then claws again. It sat on the counter like a solid mirage, licking red from its hands.

YOU WILL HAVE RICHES BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS it said in truffle oil and fur and gold. SO LONG AS I AM FED YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HUNGER

Syndication and merchandising deals and maybe someday a cartoon on television. His signature in every newspaper in every house in the country. In the world, even. He raked his fingers through his curls and tried not to look at its claws.

“I guess I’m stuck with you, then,” Jon said.

It didn’t slide off the counter the way a man would, shifted off like drifting smoke or licking flames, stood and was no shorter. Tall and broad and solid, a weight to its presence as it moved closer. Jon shrank back again as it loomed, and this show of submission seemed to please it. Hot breath and sharp teeth against his skin again, and he shivered.

YES YOU ARE



Lil things I know are true

-Keith would take a bullet for anyone

–especially Pidge

-Shiro only drinks black coffee

-the reason Shiro has white hair is bc of the Altean magic in his Galra arm

-Coran is the weird uncle, Shiro is the Dad™

-Lance is good at everything, and he just doesn’t know yet

-Hunk is the group psychologist

-Hunk always #KNOWS

-Coran has an Altean Sailor Mouth

-Seriously, Keith would take a bullet for everyone

-Allura would love Madonna

-Pidge forgets to brush her teeth sometimes

-Pidge doesn’t get cavities

-Thace deserved the world

-Shay deserves the Universe

-Lance sings in the shower. No one makes fun of him for it bc he sings so beautifully and no one wants him to stop

-Each paladin has gone to the main deck on the castle and just looked at the stars thinking at some point

-Keith is a dog person

-Lance is a cat person

-THE MICE ALWAYS #KNOW

-the black lion is a mom

-Pidge and Shiro write Lance good notes and stick them under his door at night

-Now that Slav is here, Shiro has a swear jar

-Hunk gives the best hugs

-Matt will tell Pidge he likes her haircut

kent parson has a reputation of being almost like a vegas cryptid. people will talk about the time kent parson thought they looked sad and let them vent to him for an hour or that time they saw kent parson give his flannel and sunglasses to a stray cat. theres also people swearing that kent parson challenged them to a burger eating contest. one person said he asked if they liked ducks and when they said yes he said “hold this for me” then gave them a duckling and walked away. he came back after five minutes, said thanks, then retrieved the duckling and left without explanation.

Dating Draco Malfoy Would Include...

Originally posted by daz-zling-bling

I made one for Draco too :)


  • Taking months for Lucius to ‘accept’ you
  • S e x
  • You being the big spoon because even though Draco acts with a lot of pride, he still loves to be held
  • You refusing to get house elves
  • Draco understanding completely
  • Ruffling his hair
  • “Y/N, stop that!”
  • “But you look so cuuute!”
  • Draco soon loving it when you ruffle his hair
  • Having a pet cat that sometimes makes Draco jealous
  • “Sorry, babe.  No cuddles right now.  The cat got here first.”
  • *puppy eyes* “But Y/NNN!”
  • *smirks* “Maybe later.”
  • Then jealous sex (Don’t worry the cat has left the room)
  • You being able to turn him on in .5 seconds
  • Making fun of him for it
  • “You just get hard so easily it’s am–”
  • “SHUT UP!”
  • “Hehe.”
  • You giving Draco little kisses 24/7 which brighten up his mood anyday
  • Him being extremely protective
  • You being extremely protective
  • Lots of sarcasm
  • You being the one to come up from behind him and wrap your arms tightly around him
  • You being the only one Draco will show his shy vulnerable side to
  • Narcissa loving seeing you make her son so happy
  • Neck kisses
  • The professors at Hogwarts secretly talking about how cute of a couple you two are
  • Once in the Slytherin common room late at night you found Draco sleeping on the couch holding a small raggedy teddy bear
  • Never telling him you saw it
  • You being there for Draco after he gets his dark mark
  • He tries to distance himself from you during that year but you will not let it happen
  • Draco reminding you how much he loves you and cares for you every single day
  • Draco’s wedding vows lasting literally ten minutes
  • PDA
  • Him making sure no other man comes within ten feet of you unless he deems it okay
  • Stolen kisses
  • He smiles at you nonstop
  • You can make him blush
  • Like really red
  • That beautiful pale skin tinted pink
  • Deep talks in the middle of the night with two cups of tea
  • He loves making you laugh
  • You both love art
  • His behavior changes a lot depending on the people around him, but you always being there for him

Please let me know what you thought of it and what I could do better next time!

How to Get a Date with the MBTI Types (in 4 easy steps)

DISCLAIMER: Results may vary.  You have been warned.  ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ISFJ
1. make it seem like you don’t have time for relationships because you’re too busy saving the world
2. ask ISFJ how normal people even have time to eat
3. ask ISFJ if they’re free for a date because you need to be somewhere right now but you need help figuring out how to take care of yourself
4. ISFJ will meet you anytime at your convenience (so you better bring some stories about the orphans you’re saving)

INFJ
1. make yourself seem like damaged goods with a complicated backstory
2. ask INFJ what a normal family looks like
3. ask INFJ if they’re free for a date to psychoanalyze your relationship with your parents because you have no idea who you even are anymore
4. INFJ will meet you with open ears and a tissue box (so you better bring some childhood wounds)

ISFP
1. make yourself seem free-spirited and mysterious AF
2. ask ISFP if they know about your super obscure hobby
3. ask ISFP if they’re free for a date to discuss it because you need help figuring it out and you want a second opinion on it
4. ISFP will meet you with an explosion of ideas (so you better take pics of your bajillion side hobbies so they can be your conversation-starters)

INFP
1. make yourself seem like you have a lot of emotional baggage that you can’t share with just ANYONE
2. ask INFP if they’ve ever had their heart broken before
3. ask INFP if they’re free for a date because you want to explore your thoughts and feelings with them
4. INFP will meet you with tears that will pour on-cue (so you better bring some deep scars for your dinner date)

INTJ
1. make yourself seem like you’re in your own world
2. ask INTJ for their opinion on a very very complicated and multi-faceted topic and low-key ask what they’re doing next weekend
3. ask INTJ to meet you next Saturday because they just said they’re free next Saturday so since both of you are free, both of you should just meet up for dinner ;)
4. INTJ will meet you with lots of skepticism (so you better bring some interesting insights into philosophy, science, or politics)

ISTJ
1. make yourself seem normal but with a little spontaneity
2. ask ISTJ for their opinion on food
3. ask ISTJ if they’re free for a date because everybody needs to eat food and both of you are people, right? ;)
4. ISTJ will meet you with a list of food places you should try out (so you better bring an appetite and a half)

ISTP
1. make yourself look sexy AF
2. ask ISTP for their opinion on sex
3. ask ISTP if they’re free for a date because you heard that sky-diving is usually done in pairs and you need a second person
4. ISTP will meet you (as your sky-diving instructor and partner)(so you better bring a copy of your will in case it goes south)

INTP
1. make yourself not-wallpaper
2. ask INTP for their opinion on a hotly debated topic in math/physics/science
3. ask INTP if they’re free for a date sometime Sunday to Sunday.  If they’re not free that week, keep asking ad keep asking and keep asking until they agree
4. INTP will meet you with lots of reminders on your part about the date (so you better be prepared for some abstract conversation)

ESTJ
1. make yourself as submissive as possible
2. ask ESTJ why they’re always so right about <insert topic> <insert topic> <insert topic>
3. ask ESTJ if they’re free for a date so they can give you some pointers on how to do everything in your life better
4. ESTJ will meet you with a thick stack of notes (so you better be prepared to make some huge life changes)

ENTJ
1. make yourself seem PERFECT AF
2. ask ENTJ about how they weigh pros and cons in an investment situation
3. ask ENTJ if they’re free for a date because one little date is a super low-investment which can lead to a very high reward ;)
4. ENTJ will meet you with a dating questionnaire for you to fill out (so you better study for the test 3 days in advance)

ESFJ
1. make it seem like you have your shit together
2. ask ESFJ how people always seem to have their shit together because you certainly don’t
3. ask ESFJ if they’re free for a date because you have trouble taking care of yourself since you’re so busy being successful
4. ESFJ will meet you with a bullet journal to help you organize your life (so you better be ready for ESFJ to move in)

ESTP
1. make yourself look easily amused by everything
2. ask ESTP for their opinion on LITERALLY ANYTHING and nod
3. ask ESTP if they’re free for a date because you don’t know how to do that thing that they know how to do and you want them to help you
4. ESTP will meet you with lots of tips on how to help you out (so you better look like you have no idea what you’re doing)

ENTP
1. make yourself visible (no strobe lights please)
2. ask ENTP for their opinion on a hotly debated topic in politics
3. ask ENTP if they’re free for a date and tell them that according to the Schrödinger’s cat experiment, there’s already a version of them that has already accepted and rejected the date so it’s up to ENTP to decide which reality he wants ;)
4. ENTP will meet you on a whim (so you better come prepared with some strong arguments and points)

ENFJ
1. make yourself seem like you have a troubled past
2. ask ENFJ if they’ve ever wished they could go back in time to change their past
3. ask ENFJ if they’re free for a date because you want to try being more open to people this time around and ENFJ might be able to help
4. ENFJ will meet you at any time or place with lots of questions (so you better bring a deeply moving backstory and eye drops for tears)

ENFP
1. make yourself seem like a challenge
2. ask ENFP if they know about <insert topic> and how it’s been affecting <insert topic>
3. ask ENFP if they’re free for a date because you happen to be free next Saturday and you want to chill with someone interesting for a change
4. ENFP will meet you at the WRONG PLACE (so you better schedule the reservation for 7pm even though you told ENFP to meet for 6pm)

ESFP
1. make yourself look sexy and available
2. ask ESFP nothing, just wait for ESFP to come to you
3. ask ESFP if they’re free for a date because you heard that ESFP was a good dinner date and you wanted to experience it for yourself
4. ESFP will meet you either with NO MONEY or ALL THE MONEY (so be prepared for either option .. and also the option that a 3rd person may up end up paying for all the food)

[Trans] Jelly Magazine - July 2017

☆ trans: cheneunim

Q: Out of the three, who is the most trustworthy member?
B & C: The oldest hyung, Xiumin hyung!
X: For me, also me!
B: Xiumin hyung also knows restaurants well. He orders food quickly… lastly, he knows what to order for us.

Q: Out of the three, who is the most courageous and cool member?
X: I think it’s me!
B: No! It’s me!! I look really cool when playing games.
C: Xiumin hyung is a manly person who’s strong-minded.
X: That’s correct!
B: Also, Xiumin hyung is the type who can plan on his own. He’s manly and feels like an adult. Chen can also be by himself so he’s manly and cool.

Q: Tell something you find cute about the members.
B: Xiumin hyung has a cat. He is very attached to his cat. I’m not sure if Xiumin hyung is raising the cat or the cat is raising Xiumin hyung. (laughs) When he’s taking care of the cat, he never leaves home. It’s really cute how he cares for the cat all day.
X: It’s cute when Baekhyun uses casual language with me, saying “Ya!” or taking out the title ‘형’ (hyung).
B: Of course, that’s my endearment to you.

Q: If you can explain shortly a member’s personality.
B: Baekhyun is like a 'Happy Virus’ who can make those around him happy. He’s versatile and has good sense… He’s good in everything, except sports.
B: (laughs) Still, I can snowboard and know how to play pool, too!
C: But you can’t run, right? Your running form looks weird so it’s very awkward!
B: There was this scene that I shot before, Xiumin hyung and Chen said “Haven’t you ever run in your whole life before this?”
X: Still, Baekhyun is good at gaming, singing and impersonating, so it’s really fun with him around. In EXO, his existence is important.
C: Without Baekhyun, maybe EXO would have been a boring group.
B: Yes, yes. That’s right, correct. (laughs)

Q: Who is the funniest out of the three?
X & C: Baekhyunnie!!
B: Hmm… So it’s me. (laughs)
B: Sometimes, there’re so many funny things going inside my head that I wonder to myself “Ya~ How could I have thought of such a funny idea?”. I’m surprised by my sense. It’s inborn.
X: But there’s a drawback. If he chatters too much, you have to grab him by the nape to stop him.

Q: Is there one thing you want to fix about a member?
X: Yes, I’ll tell Baekhyun.
B: I knew it’d be me…
X: I hope he gets up faster.
B: I have 15 minutes to get ready before going out. But I take 20 minutes to prepare.
X: During that 5 minutes, everyone is waiting. It’s not that he can’t wake up, he won’t wake up.
C: He’ll say “I won’t get up!”. He will stubbornly not get up. (laughs)
B: I’ll talk too! Actually these two didn’t know how to play pool. But they are getting better lately. I hope they don’t get any better.
X & C: Booo~

Okay so this post got popular really quickly so I’m gonna expand on it now:

  • Neil has his own social media account, but he never goes on it 
    • It’s called Neil_Jostenn and it’s very original
    • (Someone took both NeilJosten and Neil_Josten like what??)
    • It has pictures of his sneakers (endorsements) and his teammates and blurry pictures of Kevin with no caption except for #queenday but mostly he doesn’t do anything with it
    • His bio is just his name, number, and the team he’s playing for
    • (It has #teamjosten for a bit too but not the point)
  • He does, however, have a cat account
  • No one besides his foxes knows he has it
  • It has more followers than his personal account does?? Somehow???
  • It’s called sir.n.king and it’s one of the cutest things
  • He posts almost daily and never shows his own face but it’s clear he’s an exy fan bc he dresses his cats up in jerseys
  • Most of the time he puts them in mini-versions of Kevin’s jersey with tiaras
  • His followers only know the names of his cats, that he has a bf, and a room entirely dedicated to his (I can’t decide if they’re rescue or therapy cats so probably one of each if that works)
  • He dresses Sir up as his bf a lot, complete with armbands and reading glasses
    • Caption: “He looks so much like his father”
    • (Via Nicky, who was making one of his impromptu visits
  • Speaking of Nicky
  • This kiddo is bitter about the popularity of Neil’s cat account
  • See, he runs dog accounts for each and every one of his and Erik’s pet
  • Most of them are rescues, but one of them is a therapy pet Nicky got back in palmetto to keep him happy when Erik wasn’t around and comfort him when he was close to breaking down
  • He was the one to suggest the cat accounts to Neil
  • And now Neil’s cats have more followers than all of his babies combined???
  • This is unacceptable 
  • He doesn’t even tell anyone he’s a famous exy player, they’re famous all on their own
  • Nicky wants to call bullshit but he has no proof that Neil used any “gain more followers!” cheats
  • Nicky and Neil get into fights over whose pets are better and Neil just pulls out the amount of followers his have as statistics
  • It’s very frustrating
  • During the Minyard-Josten rivalry, he dresses their cats up in both of their jerseys and posts multiple pictures of them cuddling and other interactions 
  • It’s very confusing for his followers, who are mostly not exy fans but they know that Minyard and Josten are supposed to be at each others throats
  • Then this happens 
  • The reporter is shocked to say the least
    • “Cats?”
    • “Yeah, my cats.”
  • He then just gushes about his cats and shows all of the reporters pictures and stuff from his cat account on Instagram and they’re so confused but it takes up all the time they have and Neil can go home without getting asked any more questions about Andrew Minyard so he counts it as a win
  • So now the whole world knows about Neil Josten and his precious cats
  • And with further investigation, his boyfriend???
  • Shit is happening
  • No one expected this kid to be so fucking cute with his bf and cats and domesticity like this???
  • When Andreil comes out, Neil posts a picture of Sir sitting on Andrew’s lap dresses up like him again 
  • Andrew is reading and petting Sir and it’s the picture that makes everyone realize he’s not a monster
  • That, and the ones that follow

Bonus:

  • King is girl, and no one really cared when naming her
  • But now it’s made sort of a problem bc oops she’s having babies guys
  • King does this to Neil and Neil cries 
  • He’s just so fucking overwhelmed okay it’s two am and his cat is giving him her babies and it’s too much
  • Andrew gets it on video 
    • Caption: “The hellspawn woke us up”
    • (Via Andrew, who pretends to hate the cats but loves them almost as much as Neil does)

This is important to me okay

Phil’s Livestream // 2.23.17

He’s wearing his NASA shirt

“Have a cup of tea. Hang out with me!”

Storm Doris has attacked a wheely bin outside

His plants have been gaining leaves he’s doing something right

Trampoline videos

“Tie some bricks to it”

He worries about cats and dogs during storms he hopes your cats are okay

“Calm down. Have a green tea. Stop being so stressed.” him @ the storm sky

He got a haircut today at his house (sides are short but not shaved)

They talked about dogs

He finds hoovering quite fun

Hoover Fantasies 

Phil’s Liveshow Haul

Follow him on twitter @ AmazingPhil #spon

His hippo lamp

He looked up the most dangerous animals (hippo is #4)

Hippo facts

Pictures vs memories discussion

The Impossible Quiz was exhausting

Probs not Impossible Quiz #2

“Don’t watch me in jail”

He froze for a minute (or it was a really good mannequin challenge can’t tell)

He melted a bit of his NASA shirt while ironing rip

7 new planets discussion 

“Maybe just leave them alone if they’re happy, you know?”

He gets very excited at the idea of space giraffes 

Lots of universe discussion

Shrimp Prince

He’s seen Moonlight, Manchester by the Sea, and La La Land but Arrival was his favorite 

What fictional universe would you rather live in 

Shrimp Prince of the Rings

Itchy nose

He got a navy blue jumper with a geometric bird on it that he may wear in his next video

He also got the “scent of happiness”

No bad cinema experiences this time 

Pastel edits irl

He likes his black hair a lot so he won’t be changing it soon

“I’ve already got a toddler called Dab”

He’s loving Final Fantasy XV

BROadtrip 

“Could’ve used more diversity”

He took the troll wig Dan mentioned to the charity shop soz

He ate the moss surrounding his cocktail oops

He saw Book of Mormon with his parents 

Horse Prince

New gaming video tomorrow

It’s kind of long but also a Dan vs Phil

They’re going to an Oscar’s party so hopefully he can stay awake

The couple that made him bonk his head on the window

The coffee table is out to get him 

Grammar

They watched Speed and Speed 2 Cruise Control 

50% 2017 calendar (code: FLASHSALE) at DanandPhilShop.com

They’re still working on the pastel merch

They’re going back to Australia coolforsummerfest.com.au 

He’s going to watch Bates Motel again 

He’s watching Riverdale and Homeland 

“I hope you have a great weekend”

“I’ve hoped you’ve had a great evening. Thanks for choosing to spend it with me.”

Mentions of Dan: ||||| |||

the first time even draws sana a comic, it’s when she looks stressed. she’s over studying with isak and isak is trying to patiently explain one of the questions to her, but eventually isak decides they need to take a break and he heads to the restroom. even drops the comic onto the textbook she’s glaring at. it’s of a cat ripping a biology textbook in half and yelling, “screw your logic, i do have nine lives!” sana looks up at him and is surprised, but the small smile that graces her lips is touched.

the second time even draws sana a comic, it’s when she looks sad. the girls and boys are over at isak and even’s apartment and they’re having a small pregame, and sana’s been staring at her phone for a while now and she looks a little emotionally exhausted, and she keeps glaring at the drink that’s been set in front of her mindlessly, and so even busies himself with a pen and a napkin and then drops it onto sana’s lap before sitting next to her. it’s of a cat drinking milk and knocking a beer bottle off the table, where it falls and hits the head of another passing cat. sana looks over at him and smiles at even crookedly.

the third time even draws sana a comic, it’s when she looks angry. she’s talking heatedly to the girls in the hallways and then storms off, presumably to biology, which even only knows she has next because of isak. even quickly draws something on his notebook paper and casually makes inside the empty classroom, save for sana, and drops the paper on her desk. it’s of a cat with steam coming out of its ears and another cat frantically trying to blow it away. sana’s expression dissolves into an exasperated one, then she laughs, a little quietly. even doesn’t miss the way her shoulders slump.

the fourth time even draws sana a comic, it’s when she looks scared. she’s making her way off the tram when even’s waiting for his own, and she looks shaken and lost. behind her walks an older man, maybe in his sixties, angry-looking and glaring at her back, but he walks the other way. even narrows his eyes and makes his way over to her and asks if she’s okay. sana’s good at composing herself, even will give her that, and she tells him she’s fine. even offers to walk her home, and sana lets him; the next day, even slips a comic into her locker. it’s of a cat that looks like its alone in a dark room, scared and confused. in the next frame, a couple of cats have turned on the light, revealing that the cat has been surrounded by friends all along.

the fifth time, sana draws even a comic. he’s just said goodbye to isak and he’s on his way out of the school to wait for him to finish his last class when sana stops him. she looks happier than usual, brighter. she hands even a folded paper and then rolls her eyes and even’s confused expression. “just take it,” she presses, and so even does. “open it when i’m gone,” sana warns, and then she leaves, and so even opens it. 

it’s clumsily drawn, not at all at the level even draws, but it’s clearly of a cat filming a couple of other cats roughhousing. there’s only one that’s colored in – a yellow one – and underneath it, the words “they miss you, too” are printed neatly. 

even clings to the comic for days afterward.

3

my roommate had a photoshoot with my majestic princess, max. is he not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen ever?

Soft

It starts with a bar of soap.

For God’s sake, Kent thinks to himself in the “personal care” section of the grocery store. Why does Dove think I’m allergic to purple just because I’m a guy?

He picks up the lavender-scented bar soap and inhales. It smells heavenly. Next he tries the sandalwood-scented from the men’s section. It comes in a gray box and costs fifty cents less. It smells good but it reminds him of floor polish.

I’m a grown-ass man, Kent thinks, and buys the lavender soap.

The next time he’s out of body wash, he spends thirty minutes trying to decide on one of the many “manly” smells before caving to “Cocoa Cabana” in the women’s aisle because it smells like Valentines Day in a bottle. 

After that it’s his deodorant body spray, trading in “Bold” (whatever the fuck boldness smells like) for “Fresh Cotton.” 

The first time Jeff catches a whiff of it on him, he asks, “New fabric softener? It smells awesome.”

“Nah, switched deodorants.”

“Huh.” Jeff nods in approval. “Well, you smell like fresh blankets out of the dryer. I have a physical urge to hug you.”

Kent laughs. Jeff hugs him and he laughs more. It’s nice.

After five months, nearly every toiletry Kent owns has been switched over from an endless variety of blacks, grays, and occasional dark greens and blues to white, purple, soft brown, yellow, and pink. Showers have transformed from a perfunctory necessity to something luxurious. Women’s products are so indulgent. They make Kent feel and smell like he’s been at a spa. He does have to learn to juggle the fragrances appropriately or risk smelling like a perfume store vomited on him. But it’s worth it, for how good he feels after. He feels pampered. His skin is softer, his hair shines, and even his pits and crotch look and feel cleaner. He doesn’t know if it’s the products or because he really cares about the maintenance, now, since he’s got all these specialty items to try. It doesn’t matter. He feels great.

Kent now has honest-to-God bubble baths and detox-salt-soaks. He’s got body butters and face masks and a lip balm in almost every flavor. The ladies at the Lush at the mall know him by name.

Kent’s still single. He’s got his cat for company, though, and the guys, who drop by or come over for movie and game nights and get drunk and eat all his food and pretend to chirp him for the specialty lemongrass-scented hand soap in his bathroom. Sometimes, on roadies, Swoops will plop down next to him on a bus or a plane and say loudly, “Damn, who’s got chocolate and isn’t sharing? Oh, it’s just Parser. Fuck you for getting my hopes up,” and then he’ll noogie Kent or grab his fingers and gnaw on them.

(The coaches have had to break them up before and it’s very unbecoming of two adult men.)

More than once, one of the guys has fallen asleep next to Kent and ended up face-first in Kent’s shoulder. They’ll wake up blearily, rubbing their eyes and saying, “Whoops, sorry man, didn’t mean to drool on you.” Kent was confused at first but he’s realizing that it’s because they gravitate towards the scent of him in their sleep. He smells like comforting things: honey and chocolate and cotton and Shea. He smells like warmth and safety. It’s why he likes all the things he buys, so it makes sense the guys would like that, too.

Nobody rags on him for it. They chirp him, but that’s different. Chirping, light-hearted and giggly, means acceptance. Soon his teammates start coming up to him in the locker room or nudging him on a bus and saying, “Parser, can I borrow some of your stuff?” and leaving with key-lime lips or cocoa-butter hands.

But it’s when he catches Sunny—big, burly, greatly-bearded d-man Sunny—pulling a bright orange tube of passion fruit lip balm out of his bag and slicking it on in front of everyone that he knows for sure that it’s okay.

By Way of Spontaneity (Part 2)

Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?

Word Count: 518

Warnings: None.

Part 1

A/N: Hope you all like this part! I’m so so so excited for the craziness that is coming!

Originally posted by little--batman

Bucky grimaced as he thought of facing you and telling you all about how you were invited to the next family dinner at his grandma’s house. His mom had squealed and Bucky swore that he had never seen his grandma run so fast until that very instant Bucky’s mom announced that he had a girlfriend. They had cooed and aww’ed over your picture for long minutes until Bucky sniffed at the air and asked if something was burning.

“My potatoes!” screamed his grandma, his mom hot at her heels.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took a deep breath and stood before your apartment door. How was he even going to bring this up? You would never agree to this. Tony would never agree to this. After all, you were his girlfriend and Bucky should have thought twice about what he was going to say before he opened his big mouth.

Keep reading

alright but i can’t stop thinking about this… andrew and neil had never have pets. in their life. and they get cats of all animals:

  • Neil would do his best on researching about them whenever he doesn’t know why they behave a certain way, but still he’ll never understand his cats’ behaviour so he kind of rolls with it.
    It’s different with andrew, because he still isn’t used to them and they’re an inconvenience he can’t get rid of 
  • the first time they hear one of their cats purr is an experience they’ll never forget: 
  • Neil: Andrew…. come listen to this
    Andrew: ….. it’s vibrating.
  • just when andrew DECIDED to give Sir a scratch, the cat bites his finger. not roughly, just a sign that means “leave me alone for now” but andrew just thinks the cat doesn’t like him and tells neil he doesn’t like the cat either and he’ll never bother again
  • but later he tries again, luckily when Sir is in a good mood and he is pleased to hear him purr. Neil too.
  • the cats always get in Neil’s way when he goes to feed them, and they’ve made him trip hundreds of times. He’s stepped on their tails too, on accident, and andrew had to come to tell him the cats were just fine before he panicked. 
  • neil loves playing with the cats. he has scratches all over his fingers and hands because he plays hiding his hands behind the couch or chairs, and the cats attack them when he wiggles his fingers 
  • whenever andrew walks into the kitchen the cats follow him because they think he’ll feed them. they meow loudly and purr, with their tails up and scratch the counter where Neil keeps their food. Andrew just stares at them as he slowly pours himself coffee.
  • BATHING THEM. it’s also neil’s job, but andrew helps whenever he feels like it. 
  • The first time they bathe them, they discover that Sir is not that fat, he just has a Lot of hair. and also, that King Fluffkins loves water.
    Andrew takes pictures of Sir’s wet figure as the animal stares right into the camera with an expression that clearly says “help”
  • CAT HAIR, rip andrew’s all black wardrobe 
  • they had learned to keep their wardrobe CLOSED SHUT the hard way,   because they had woken up to the cats sleeping in there, over their clothes.
  • andrew can’t go to the bathroom without Fluffkins sticking his paw under the door, and he finds annoying the first times, but then he grows used to it and would poke it and snort when Fluffkins’ claws poke him back.
  • andrew finds all the shit cats do amusing: Like jumping 6 feet high when they get scared, running non-stop around the house and crawling on furniture with a stunned look on their face, the way their pupils dilate and the little wiggle they do when they’re about to jump on neil’s fingers, or when they climb up the courtains 
  • neil can’t be one minute sitting with his laptop that one of the cats HAS to walk over him and sit over his computer
  • andrew: