and lick things

The anatomy of a cow poem, or ‘bredlik’

The poem is generally first person and begins with “My name is…”, unless part of a series; series are structured as dialogues.

Cow poems are in strict iambic dimeter.

A cow poem has the scheme *A*A*B*B.

The cow stanza is a 6-line stanza followed by a 2-line ‘punchline’, varying on “I [do the thing]//I lick the [thing]; much like Benadryl Cabbagepatch, the closer the conformity, the better the effect.

Spelling is more-or-less phonetic, especially for vowels, with some exceptions (classical cow poems make exceptions for “I”, notably) and certainly no numbers; the effect is often described as 'pseudo Chaucerian’. The grammar too is fairly standard.

Or to put it another way

My naym is pome
And wen you noe
The rouls that mayk
My strukchur floe
And poeits bend
Tou hone ther art

I mayk you smyl
I tuch the hart 

4
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One of my favorite things about Avatar: The Last Airbender is that Sokka is both the kind of ditsy, silly, comic relief character

Originally posted by neatzan

Originally posted by fandomnesia

But he’s also the more logical planner of the group. Who made the travel schedule to make sure team Avatar got everything done in time?

Sokka.

Who was the one most annoyed by the “fortune teller”?

Sokka.

And let’s not forget this little gem:

He may, at times, lack common sense and do things like lick cave walls right after accidentally getting high on cactus juice, but he’s still very intelligent and contributes a lot more to the plot than just comic relief.

Whenever I see a post on tumblr suggesting aliens don’t have gender, I always think–‘but what if also the reverse. What if aliens also have some fundamental social construct we don’t’.

Like, they come and meet us and they’re like ‘hey this is an awkward question but what’s your gooblebygark?’

And we’re like what.

‘You know, the… the thing. Your goobledygark. The thing that dictates whether you’re gnarfgnoovles or brubledoopes’

What. What. What the fuck, those words don’t even mean anything??? What are you talking about?

‘Look, your ridiculous human languages don’t seem to have the words for these! But they’re totally a thing, they’re like, fundamental aspects of social life for our species, just… just let us lick you so we can know what verb tense to use when we speak to you.’

What does one thing have to do with the other??? That makes no–

‘UGH, nevermind, you’re totally brubledoopes, I can just tell, I don’t even need to taste your bacterial skin colonies.’

And then another alien overhears and is like ‘holy shit, you can’t stereotype like that, that’s SO NOT COOL’

‘yeaH BUT THEY WON’T LET ME LICK THEM’

Actually

The question I get the most is how I write characters that feel like real people. 

Generally when I’m designing a human being, I deconstruct them into 7 major categories:

1. Primary Drive
2. Fear: Major and Secondary
3. Physical Desires
4. Style of self expression
5. How they express affection
6. What controls them (what they are weak for)
7. What part of them will change.

1. Primary Drive: This is generally related to the plot. What are their plot related goals? How are they pulling the plot forward? how do they make decisions? What do they think they’re doing and how do they justify doing it.

2. Fear: First, what is their deep fear? Abandonment? being consumed by power? etc. Second: tiny fears. Spiders. someone licking their neck. Small things that bother them. At least 4.

3. Physical desires. How they feel about touch. What is their perceived sexual/romantic orientation. Do their physical desires match up with their psychological desires.

4. Style of self expression: How they talk. Are they shy? Do they like to joke around and if so, how? Are they anxious or confident internally and how do they express that externally. What do words mean to them? More or less than actions? Does their socioeconomic background affect the way they present themselves socially? 

5. How they express affection: Do they express affection through actions or words. Is expressing affection easy for them or not. How quickly do they open up to someone they like. Does their affection match up with their physical desires. how does the way they show their friends that they love them differ from how they show a potential love interest that they love them. is affection something they struggle with?

6. What controls them (what they are weak for): what are they almost entirely helpless against. What is something that influences them regardless of their own moral code. What– if driven to the end of the wire— would they reject sacrificing. What/who would they cut off their own finger for.  What would they kill for, if pushed. What makes them want to curl up and never go outside again from pain. What makes them sink to their knees from weakness or relief. What would make them weep tears of joy regardless where they were and who they were in front of. 

7. WHAT PART OF THEM WILL CHANGE: people develop over time. At least two of the above six categories will be altered by the storyline–either to an extreme or whittled down to nothing. When a person experiences trauma, their primary fear may change, or how they express affection may change, etc. By the time your book is over, they should have developed. And its important to decide which parts of them will be the ones that slowly get altered so you can work on monitoring it as you write. making it congruent with the plot instead of just a reaction to the plot. 

That’s it.

But most of all, you have to treat this like you’re developing a human being. Not a “character” a living breathing person. When you talk, you use their voice. If you want them to say something and it doesn’t seem like (based on the seven characteristics above) that they would say it, what would they say instead?

If they must do something that’s forced by the plot, that they wouldn’t do based on their seven options, they can still do the thing, but how would they feel internally about doing it?

How do their seven characteristics meet/ meld with someone else’s seven and how will they change each other?

Once you can come up with all the answers to all of these questions, you begin to know your character like you’d know one of your friends. When you can place them in any AU and know how they would react.

They start to breathe.

I need a girl to give me her hoodie and over sized sweatpants, let me play with her hair and try different makeup styles on her even if she hates makeup. I need a girl who’ll watch scary movies with me and let me squeeze her hand as tight as I need to, and a girl who’ll motivate me to get out of bed at 4am just so she can satisfy her craving for Taco Bell. I need a girl who’ll brush their teeth next to me in the morning and watch my favorite shows with me even if she can’t stand them. I need a girl who’ll let me cuddle and lay on top of her and fall asleep while she runs her fingers up and down my arms or trace little shapes on my back with her fingers. I need a girl who’ll be head over heels for me and any girl who looks my way, she’ll feel safe knowing I have the same love invested in her, as she does in me. I just need a girl who’ll stay and put up with my craziness, and let me bite her shoulder or put my head up her shirt, or even lick her face when things start getting heated just to piss her off. I need a girl who’ll take all my flaws and rearrange them in her head to make me out as someone perfect to her, and I need a girl who knows I’d do the exact same for her.

anonymous asked:

Could you possibly do headcannons of how the RFA members (+ V and Saeran) kiss their s/o's neck? (Love your blog! ♡♡♡)

Thank you! I hope you enjoy this! 
(WARNING: mentions of the sex in Saeyoung’s and small mention of blood in Saeran’s) 


Yoosung:

✮ is super shy
✮ little kitten kisses
✮ holds your shoulders gently
✮ loves to press his nose against your pulse
✮ really enjoys smelling your perfume
✮ when things get hotter his hands are groping at your hips to pull you closer
✮ he begins to bite and lick but he’s still gentle
✮ he’s more of a sub 
✮ pants against the skin of your neck while things get heavy
✮ he grazes the edge of his teeth along your skin
✮ doesn’t really leaves marks unless he’s trying to prove something

Jaehee:

✎ only kisses your neck after things are a bit heavier
✎ as in
✎ doesn’t casually just kiss your neck
✎ is also really soft
✎ pulls her lips around your skin while pressing her chest to yours
✎ her face in your neck works mostly as a distraction for the both of you
✎ likes the further back parts of your neck
✎ like behind your ear
✎ doesn’t really bite
✎ licks when things are building up during the sexy times
✎ she just really likes feeling your skin 
✎ along with the proof of exertion
✎ also doesn’t leave marks (it’s unprofessional)

Zen:

✿ is probably obsessed with your neck
✿ loves to watch the muscles tense under his lips
✿ he definitely likes biting you
✿ his licks and nibbles are heavy and full of heat
✿ LOVES leaving marks on you
✿ it’s a turn on for him
✿ so he loves to just tilt your head back
✿ and attack your neck
✿ so that everyone will know you belong to him
✿ likes holding your hair while doing it because he can move your neck however he pleases
✿ likes to gently kiss and nuzzle hickies after he’s made them because he’s a loser  
✿ won’t bite hard enough to break the skin though - you’re too precious 

Jumin: 

₩ likes the lower part of your neck more
₩ like around your collarbones
₩ loves the feel of your skin against the bone 
₩ while he kisses it 
₩ and licks in the bow of it when it’s presents 
₩ sometimes he even pulls on your shoulders so that your clavicle becomes prominent 
₩ sometimes bites it but not too hard 
₩ because that shit would probably hurt (it’s b o n e)
₩ he only leaves marks on your upper chest/cleavage 
₩ because only he should be seeing there 
₩ unless he gets really possessive
₩ then he sucks all over your neck and just leaves all the marks 

Seven/Saeyoung: 

⌨  boi 
⌨  how things go down with saeyoung really depends on the mood 
⌨  sometimes he just butterfly kisses up your throat 
⌨  but other times your neck is just one big fuckin bruise 
⌨  his favourite area is the end of your jaw 
⌨  between your jawbone and ear 
⌨  he’s kind of obsessed with it tbh 
⌨  sucks on it harshly and presses his tongue down flat 
⌨  after deepthroating him he likes to gently kiss the outside of your throat 
⌨  like a ‘thank you’
⌨  he likes to trail kisses from your neck to your shoulder- where it turns to bites 
⌨  he holds your back so you can’t squirm away from him 

V: 

☼ this nugget is so gentle 
☼ he will not bite you unless you specifically ask him and then assure him that’s what you want 
☼ he just really likes kissing you everywhere 
☼ so when he’s spreading kisses over your throat they’re opened mouth and breathy 
☼ it’s really sensual and nice 
☼ kinda hovers his lips over your skin before each kiss
☼ letting out a content sigh against your warm skin 
☼ before admiring it with his mouth 
☼ is really shy with his tongue 
☼ at first you can tell he’s nervous 
☼ because just the tip sneaks out to poke at your neck 
☼ but with your little mewls he gets assured 

Saeran: 

⚠︎ this BOI
⚠︎ hoo 
⚠︎ your neck 
⚠︎ it’s basically his property 
⚠︎ hope you like turtlenecks because that’s all you can wear with this boy around 
⚠︎ unless you like people getting worried about all the marks and literal WOUNDS on your neck 
⚠︎ he bites 
⚠︎ like, breaking skin bite 
⚠︎ licks it to make it up to you
⚠︎ also to clean up the blood 
⚠︎ sucks and bites everywhere
⚠︎ he’s less of a kisser 
⚠︎ only when he’s feeling super duper extra affectionate 
⚠︎ will he kiss your neck
⚠︎ when he does kiss it, it’s mostly along your jawbone 
⚠︎ I don’t even know how to describe this damn guy 
⚠︎ honestly, i hope you’re kind of a masochist because ouch


I’m still working on how to write V and Saeran, so I hope this was okay ♡♡

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