and lacey and that new guy

Funniest Moments from America’s Next Top Model Cycle 22
  1. Tyra Teaches a Deaf Guy Sign Language
  2. The Models Start Their Own (Horrible) Businesses
  3. Mikey Is “A Little” Horny
  4. Ava Gets a Mullet
  5. The Many GIFs of Bryant, a Vain Douche
  6. Tyra Introduces the Models to No-Neck Monsters
  7. Alexa Loves Her Fake Breasts
  8. Tyra Stands Up For Men’s Rights
  9. The Models Have Doll Doppelgängers
  10. The ANTM House Gets a New Decorating Theme… Supposedly
  11. “Smell My Fierce; Feel My Boom”
  12. A Visit to a Sleazy Motel
  13. Hadassah Isn’t Miss Congeniality
  14. Tyra Hams It Up in a Music Video
  15. Mikey’s Suddenly Positive Edit Will Drive You Crazy
  16. Justin Gets a Hickey
  17. Mikey Wants His Mom in His Bedroom
  18. Courtney Needs Fierce Lessons - and Ava Freaks Out
  19. Devin Shows Us His Signature Pose
  20. The Models Pose with Dogs
  21. Stefano’s New Bangs
  22. Easy Come, Easy Go for Dustin
  23. Cuddling in a Cold Cabin
  24. Tipsy Go-Sees
  25. The Models Go Abroad… to Vegas
  26. Meet Ava: Amber 2.0
  27. Why Won’t the Models Take These Ridiculous Acting Challenges Seriously?
  28. Protesters on the Runway
  29. Tyra Introduces Us to Beautytainment
  30. Bello Gets Mixed Up in a Threesome
  31. ANTM Stops Eliminating Contestants Altogether
  32. Bondage Porn
  33. Dustin Gets Eliminated for Smiling
  34. The Judges Want Nyle Naked
  35. Unconvincing Audition Sob Stories
  36. Posing with Veterans with Prosthetic Legs
  37. Surprise: the Judges Hate Ava’s Mullet
  38. Mikey Plans a Threesome
  39. Lacey’s Mom Gets a Makeover, Too
  40. The Models Get Possessed
  41. Catty Trash-Talking
  42. Nyle Gets Helen Keller-ed
  43. Look Out, Hadassah - Bello’s Back
  44. The Sign Language Party
  45. The SLS Hotel & Casino
  46. Retouched Photos
  47. The Models Bash Their Own Heads In
  48. Who Broke Bello’s Crown?
  49. Tyra’s Back, And She’s Obsessed with the Number Two
  50. Tyra’s Mom Is NOT a Stage Mom
  51. It’s Devin’s Party and He’ll Selfie If He Wants To
  52. A Runway Show on a Harness
  53. Devin Sucks, So Ashley Goes Home
  54. #ExtremeHashtagging
  55. Mikey Makes Courtney Cry
  56. Mamé and Hadassah Fight in the Shower
  57. Bello Gets Fruity
  58. Courtney Is Here to Make Friends
  59. Mamé’s Mama
  60. Devin Is a Successfully Unsuccessful Model
  61. Alexa Quits the Competition
  62. Hadassah Gets Shaved
  63. Making Vines for Girl Power
  64. Whitney Visits the Set
  65. Tyra Thinks Nyle’s Mom Is Almost as Great as Tyra’s Mom
  66. Will Justin Go Home? Yes He Will
  67. Bello Is Eliminated, But He’s Also Coming Back
  68. The Non-Existent Makeovers
  69. Hadassah Finally Gets Cut
  70. The Zappos Fashion Show
  71. Bello vs Devin - Who Said It?
  72. Mamé and Justin Get Jealous

Discography Discussion

This a fun social, interactive experiment for you guys. I’m going start posting some offerings from certain band’s discographys and have you rank them along with me from best to worst and if you can, explain why. I figured Brand New would be a good band to start with due to the blatant differences in sound each release embodies. I’ll start:

1) “The Devil & God are Raging Inside of Me” (2006)- Lacey and the boys reached their peak in terms of writing with this one. Flawless release front to back with topknotch, dark lyricism and excellent song structure. This is surely the most dark, emotional, well-structured, and musically interesting album of the four.

2) “Deja Entendu (2003)- This was the record where the group undoubtedly found their sound. The vibrant, upbeat nature of "Your Favorite Weapon” was present but stripped of the cheesiness and immaturity and luckily the beginning of the group’s descen into darkness. Deja was a much better use of Lacey’s self-loathing style serving as the perfect album bridging the first and third’s sound.

3) “Daisy” (2009)-I’m expecting this to be number 4 for all you guys but I love this record. It may have took a complete 180 from the direction “Devil and God” lead us to believe they’d go in, but it turned out to be a very fun, raw, dark, and abrasive experience.

4) “Your Favorite Weapon” (2001)- This has always been my least favorite primarily because I’ve never been much of a pop punk guy. It’s fun, youthful, and jovial but Lacey’s writing was too immature for my taste especially compared to later releases. Kids will be kids and you gotta start somewhere.

5. Eye-Fuck Motel

Yu Tsai brings the four remaining models out to the middle of the desert and oddly doesn’t even allude to murdering them this time.

Favorite place to shoot what - a load on a guy you found on Craigslist? This is a seedy motel! Anyway, Yu Tsai announces the return of a special guest:

In all honesty, I don’t remember her. Might just be all the fresh Botox injections. Melissa and some other dude talk about how Zappos Couture is on a “journey” toward a new identity, which I think is their way of saying they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing with this brand yet and until then, they’re even willing to let a reality show contestant be the “face” of their high fashion line since a face isn’t even important when it comes to modeling shoes.  Let’s let Melissa explain it:

Melissa, honey, you are just saying big words that don’t make any sense together. Somehow, Lacey thinks she understands what Melissa is talking about, though.

God, can you imagine what reading Lacey’s journal would actually be like?

Yikes.

I also loved this random moment with Lacey in hair and makeup:

Uh, of course Lacey realizes that’s not really a gun. If she did think it were a gun, she’d be justified in trying to shoot her humorless fuck of a hairdresser in the face.

Yu Tsai’s on a tear, too. First he unironically calls Mamé a hot bitch.

Then he celebrates the end of the shoot with a gratuitous roundoff. Bitch thinks he’s Dominique Moceanu or something.

During the shoot, Nyle serves his usual brand of “dapper.” Mamé goes for her usual brand of “regal.” No surprises there.

Meanwhile, Lacey does her best to make sure her poses are “sexy” rather than “sleazy,” but she’s set up for failure given they’re having her model on top of a motel bed. The setting is inherently sleazy, so of course it’s going to look inappropriate. It’s almost as preposterous as Mikey’s repeated assertion that he’s trying to look “expensive” in his photos. Again - this is a cheap motel. Standing in a room that costs you just $35 a night plus a severe case of bed begs will never look “expensive.”

Accordingly, the crew is unimpressed with Mikey’s posing. They hate how he looks when he tries to “model,” which you think would be an important trait to have in a modeling competition, but all right! Yu Tsai repeatedly tells Mikey to just be himself rather than model. Uh oh, you know what happens when he just behaves normally - he gets horny.

That’s exactly what Yu Tsai wants, apparently. He has Mikey start eye-fucking Melissa while he poses, and suddenly, he supposedly starts taking better pictures!

Melissa is all-too-happy to assist Mikey in this process. Calm down, woman! Try to not get your ridiculous fur collar damp… this is not the professional behavior you’d expect from a Zappos marketing exec! Still, it’s nice to know that Mikey has a sugar mama he can pursue if this whole modeling thing doesn’t work out. He does “specialize in older women” after all. Can’t wait to see Tocks sold exclusively through Zappos Couture!

The thing is, he’s probably winning this show. ANTM just edited a sequence to make it seem like Mikey’s #1 flaw just became an asset - that somehow his womanizing ways actually improve his modeling skills. It’s a bunch of crap, but it’s crap they’re serving to serve to us on a spoon so… eat up??

6 Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 22 Ep. 15