and king henry

Practical Shakespeare Quotes

Do you want to quote more Shakespeare in your life but never find opportunities to say “brevity is the soul of wit”? Do you rarely hang below balconies exchanging love vows with the daughter of your enemy? This is just the list for you.

“What an ass am I!”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

“I am not a slut,”
As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here,”
The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2

“Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5

“This is the excellent foppery of the world,”

King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Making the beast with two backs,”
Othello, Act 1, Scene 1

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,”
As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1

“To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,”
Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2
(Works great for courting hot widows.)

“I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,”
Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,”
Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5

“Marry, sir, in her buttocks.”
A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5
(No judgement here.)

“My horse is my mistress,”
Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7
(Uh, there might be something wrong with that.)

“Thou dost infect my eyes,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,”
Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5
(“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.)

“[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,”
Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3

“I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1

“Now, gods, stand up for bastards!”
King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Villain, I have done thy mother!”
Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2
(This means exactly what you think it does.)

“And thou unfit for any place but hell,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,”
Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2

“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
Othello, Act 4, Scene 2

“Out, dunghill!”
King John, Act 4, Scene 3

“This is too long.”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

  • “Ronan kissed me,” […] “I also kissed him.”
  • […]
  • Everything Ronan had ever said about Adam reconstructed in Gansey’s mind.

(a few days earlier)

Ronan: I’m so fucking in love with Adam Parrish.

Gansey: huh, lol, aren’t we all

Ronan: *puts fist through wall*

  • Blue going grocery shopping with Ronan 
  • “Ronan, stop nO YOU CANNOT BUY 50 MAC AND CHEESE BOXES ADAM IS GOING AWAY FOR 3 DAYS NOT 4 YEARS”
  •  “Excuse me I lost my daughter, Blue can I make an announcement?” “yeah sure” “goodbye you little shit, this is what you get for not letting me buy my Mac & cheese”
  • “Gansey slow down you’re going to get us killed” “I died twice and came back both times don’t tell me what to do Adam”
  • “Gansey you’re late” 
  • “A Gansey is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to” 
  • Adam:???????????????????
  • “I slept through my alarm“
  • Ronan blasting 22 by Taylor swift when he turns 22 and everybody just looks at him like????? Ronan Lynch knows other songs than Irish and metal songs????
  • Ronan: “Gansey Can you please pass the salt?”  “Can you pass your classes?” 
  • “My goal in life is not be the best but inspire people to try their hardest and make better choices in life” “Adam you say that everytime I beat you in UNO” “Oh look at me I’m Blue and I’m the best in UNO and i don’t give my friends any chances to get the sense of acomplishment at least once in their life ” “Adam shut up”
  • Gansey wishing for Noah back every birthday before blowing out his candles
  • The gangsey and everybody in 300 Fox way gathering in Persephone’s death anniversary, knitting and baking her favourite pies and cakes.
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trc character study [4/6]: richard gansey

“He couldn’t stand it, all of this inside him. In the end, he was nobody to Adam, he was nobody to Ronan. Adam spit his words back at him and Ronan squandered however many second chances he gave him. Gansey was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year. They were always walking away from him. But he never seemed able to walk away from them.”

A quick guide to Shakespearean men

Hamlet, the little emo shit

King Lear, the big emo shit

Romeo, the hormonal emo shit

Puck, just a little shit tbh

Macbeth, the Scottish emo shit

Henry V, the frat boy emo shit

Brutus, the honorable emo shit

Othello, the poc emo shit

Richard II, the greedy emo shit

Don Jon, the illegitimate emo shit