and just feels because all of my otps are happy together in this performance

whoops, my hand slipped and here is a much more fic-like set of bullet points that i don’t have to heart to actually turn into a fic. part of a trilogy it seems.

one | two | three (THIS ONE!) | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

  • something to know about michelle: she’s very good at keeping secrets
  • once, when she was eight years old, her older brother broke the brand new watch his parents had gotten him for christmas. he begged her not to tell anyone, most especially their parents or her four year old sister who would undoubtedly tattle to their parents. she never spoke a word of it to anyone and helped him fix it as best they could so that her parents never found out.
  • then, when she was eleven, she had the biggest crush on this one girl in her class, layla. and one day, one of her best friends alex told her that he had a crush on layla. so she never spoke a word of her crush, nor of alex’s, to anyone. that is, until one day alex and layla walked around the playground at lunch time holding hands and told everyone they were now dating.
  • and then after she moved to new york, spent the year trying to find a place for herself, and then finally found and joined academic decathlon, she met peter parker and liz allan. and she knew immediately that peter parker liked liz. he always stared at her during practice and smiled at her whenever she glanced at him. she heard him talking about her at lunch. everyone knew that peter had a crush on liz. but one day after practice, she was in the bathroom stall when liz and her friend betty walked into the restoom, chatting.
  • “oh my goodness I can’t believe you have a crush on that freshman.” betty scoffed. “really liz, like half the junior class is in love with you and you’ve got heart eyes for the scrawny kid from, what is it, queens?”
  • “he’s really sweet!” liz laughed. “I think he’s really cute. he’s always nice to me. can’t I like someone who also likes me? is that really a crime?”
  • “of course not.” betty sighed. “I’m just saying. he’s a freshman, you’re a junior. in two years, you’ll be going to college and he will still be here. do you really want that?”
  • “I don’t know.” liz replied, pausing for a while before michelle heard the sink start to run water. “peter is really sweet and smart. i’d like to see what could happen.”
  • “fine, fine.” betty laughs. “but don’t wait for that boy to ask you out because he seems shocked every time you even look his way.” they both laugh and with that, walk out of the bathroom.
  • michelle never spoke of that incident to anyone either. so, she’s good at keeping quiet when she needs to be. which is why she never tells peter that she knows. knows that he spends his time stopping bank robberies, muggings, and helping old ladies cross the street. knows that he saved her friends in washington dc. knows that he’s the reason liz’s dad went to prison and she had to move to oregon. she doesn’t tell anyone this. not even peter.

Keep reading

Tharja Rant

Okay, I see a lot of hate for Tharja (Some aimed directly at me) and I feel a need to explain why I like her and shes one of my favourite characters

I’ll start off with the most glaring issue, the stalking, Im not going to defend her stalking, but as its stated in her support with Gaius, she has the power to completely make Robin fall in love with her, but she chooses not out of respect and faith that if Robin was to love her, it would have to be legit romance, she would rather be alone than to actually force him to love her. Which is why I find it really cute when Robin does realise she actually cares for him and how shes a kinder person than what she first appears to be.

In many of her supports she shows that shes worried about how people think of her, about how she thinks some people thinks she will betray them, she doesn’t think people would actually want to just be friends with her so she shuts herself out, but slowly opens up to those she cares about, she goes out of her way to perform curses and hexes in order to help others out, including letting a ghost control her body which could even kill her in order for Gregor to talk to his brother

She has a strange desire to hide that shes done something nice for other people, even to request the people who knows to not tell others, and with her support with Virion clicks on that Tharja used him but only to assist others, to cook for the army and to build a bridge for children to use to cross a river.

Now about how shes dressed, and how shes a “Slut”, this is just what Dark Mages wear, its never really explained as to why, but Tharja doesn’t seem to mind, she states she doesn’t care all to much about appearances or sexual appeal to Vaike when he states that Robin has a hot body. And during the Summer Scramble she declares how she doesnt think anyone would like her body saying “Nobody would want to see ME in this” when putting on her swimsuit, and how shes always holding a tome to her chest to cover her boobs. I dont really see how this is her being a “slut”

And now for one of the things that bother me the most, people who say Tharja is abusive to Noire, and I want to point out people who say they Hate Tharja because shes a stalker yet they “Love Noire”, its clear that these people are just using Noire as tool to voice their hate for Tharja and that they dont know anything about Noire, since Noire herself has a stalker like crush.

Its stated, multiple times that Tharja loves Noire, and how protective she is of her, she will murder and actually did die to save her. She sees amazing potential in Noire when it comes to curses but she refuses to teach her that because they’res a chance that it could backfire and hurt Noire, as stated earlier with Gregor.

In The Future Past DLC, Tharja makes a joke to Noire that she could have been resurrected from the dead, Noire is so happy to she her mother and she begs to never lose her mother again, Tharja then feels guilty about a joke that struck the wrong cord, apologises to her and informs her that shes not her mother but from a different world, she doesnt have a lot of time but wants to make sure that anyone who attempted to cause harm to her suffers, Noire starts crying tears of joy and Tharja doesnt understand how to deal with that and announces that shes going to start fighting to defend Noire, Noire says “This is just like old times”, which is saying that shes always been protective of Noire

As for the cursing Tharja did to Noire, I believe, with all the other things taken into consideration from her other supports and conversations with Noire, I believe that Tharja was cursing her in order to make Noire stronger, so that Noire could survive, since Tharja knew she wouldn’t be able to protect her forever. Its stated that Noire never used a bow in her life, yet when she needed to she was an expert with it, Tharja has been improving her capabilities, but the one thing Tharja couldnt bring herself to change is Noires personality, her timidness would get in the way to much, but Tharja doesnt want to force her to be different, which is why she created Noires Talisman, something Noire has control over to help also improve herself when she needs it

She loves Noire but just is afraid to show it, she doesn’t understand how to raise a child and just does what she knows, Tharja herself  was also cursed as a child so this is normal to her. In the end it states that Noire sticks around so she can stay with her mother and have more time together and to assist in raising the current timeline Noire, which is one of the most touching things in my opinion.

Its all this, that you have to take from multiple supports and consideration is why I love Tharja, she feels like an actual person, she has her own desires, fears, worries and her own personality starts to form with all this. And yet people just say shes a whore based on what she wears.

Tharja and Robin is my OTP, and I love them both so much

anonymous asked:

Okay but what about a McKirk AU where one of them saves the other from an embarrassing situation even though they absolutely don't know each other?

  • Being a bartender is not so bad. The pay is decent, the company usually okay, too. Being a bartender in wedding venues? Not always as great. But the good thing about it is that mostly bridesmaids are easy, groomsmen are horny, general visitors are drunk, and Jim being attracted to mostly anything with a pulse; that works out pretty well. Plus, everyone dresses up nicely. Except maybe Leonard, who looks already drunk when he arrives at the wedding reception.
  • “You familiar with the bride or groom?” Jim asks, pushing a glass of strong whiskey in his direction; something Leonard gratefully accepts. “Yeah, you could say that. That’s my ex-wife and my ex-best friend,” Leonard replies, and Jim frowns. “Yikes. Why are you here?” “I’m the better man,” Leonard replies, “that, and my daughter asked me to be here.” “Ah,” Jim says, briefly hesitating to refill Leonard’s glass, but he does so anyway. “I’m sorry about that, man. Weddings are usually pretty great.” “Oh, it’s fantastic,” Leonard says, “I don’t have to wake up next to her anymore, nor do I have to care for a guy who’s pretended to be my friend for the last 20 years.” Yikes. This guy’s a downer. A shame, too, because Jim can sense such a caring person underneath all of that. Especially when Joanna rushes towards him. It’s like that whole, shitty situation is briefly forgotten - as is his whiskey, and instead he focuses on his girl for a while. Comments on her pretty red dress and the flowers in her hair, and promises they go out together again soon. 
  • They’re gone for a while and Jim doesn’t think much about it. But Leonard is most definitely drunk, a little annoyed, and clearly hurt, too, when he returns. “Do you want some water?” Jim asks him, but Leonard shakes his head. “No, something stronger.“ Jim is about to politely object to that, but another guy walks in and pats Leonard on the shoulder. “How about that ceremony, huh?” “Yes, congratulations,” Leonard says, “you’re sleeping with a witch for the rest of your life. But considering you did so behind my back while we were still married tells me you’re going to be very happy together.” “At least I didn’t drown myself in work because I don’t know how to be a husband or a father-” “You’re not a father,” Leonard interrupts. “What do you have going for you right now, huh? Poor job performance, no wife, a kid only every other weekend. What do you have that makes you so great? Nothing.” “Me,” Jim replies, so out of the blue both Leonard and his ex best friend (or whatever) look confused. “He’s got me,” Jim says, “Leonard and I. We’ve been together for a while.” Leonard looks even more confused now, especially when Jim leans in over the bar to press a quick kiss to the other’s lips, “and I don’t appreciate you talking to him like that. You use that tone on your wife, too? For your sake, I hope not.“ 
  • “Why’d you do that?” Leonard asks Jim once they’re alone again, and Jim shrugs. He shrugs, because honestly, he has no idea why he just said that. “I don’t like people talking down on other people like that. Plus, I figured, for the sake of tonight, what does a little lie matter? Not like you’re seeing a lot of these people on a regular basis. Let them think you date this handsome man,” he adds, gesturing at himself. Leonard laughs at that, and when he does, Jim knows it’s his personal mission to keep this man smiling. Because honestly, he looks so much more handsome like that. “Fine,” Leonard says, “I could date a bartender.” “A handsome bartender,” Jim corrects him, and Leonard smiles lightly. “Very handsome.”
  • There are other bartenders present, luckily, so Jim takes some time to just sit with Leonard and talk. Initially just for silly dating lies, but Jim finds that the two of them have a lot in common. They laugh at the same kind of jokes, drink the same drinks, and apparently go out in the same districts. “How come I’ve never seen you before?” Leonard asks, “seems like I would’ve remembered seeing you.” “Because of my strapping good looks?” “You know you get less attractive every time you say stuff like that,” Leonard replies with a grin, and Jim smiles. He reaches out, hand on Leonard’s arm. “Hey, but, maybe you would’ve noticed me if you weren’t so focused on your shitty choice of friends. Don’t let this charade keep you down, yeah? You know which couples stay the happiest? The ones with small, genuine receptions. Where it’s about uniting families instead of showing off the debt you’ll be paying off for the rest of your marriage - weddings are expensive,” Jim says. “You learn all that from being a bartender?” Leonard asks, and Jim shrugs. “I actually organize events. Like weddings. Birthdays. Anniversaries, etc. Bartending is something I enjoy doing because I meet interesting people.” “Handsome people,” Leonard comments, and Jim laughs. “Very.”
  • Jim uses up his break time to join Leonard on the dance floor, where they mostly dance closely together and continue to talk, joke, and laugh at the stupidest things. Leonard does get a few questions from family members. How long have you been together? “Three months,” Leonard replies smoothly, and Jim just rolls with it. “I was instantly smitten,” Jim says, “though he’s a bit grumpy from time to time, isn’t he?” “More like all the time.” “I can hear all of this, I’m right here,” Leonard replies to both Jim and the family member they’re talking to.
  • Jim dances with Joanna for a while, too. They don’t lie about their relationship to her. Instead, Jim says he’s a friend who’s only just discovering how great her daddy is. Because that’s the truth. There’s so much more to Leonard than that drunken miserable pile who walked in earlier. And when Jim returns to the bar, Leonard joins so they can talk more. Joanna sits at the bar next to them, quietly drawing or playing her game boy while sipping on an alcohol-free mocktail Jim has made for her. It’s just different kinds of fruit juices and sodas, but she loves it. Loves especially the tiny umbrella and pieces of fruit in it.
  • Surprisingly, Leonard stays almost to the very end of the night. Hes gone for a few minutes when Joanna leaves with her uncle and aunt, but he’s back for another drink and Jim’s company - something Jim’s happy to give him. “Hey,” Leonard says, when the others start cleaning up and it’s definitely time to leave, “I had a great time. I just wanted to thank you.” “Oh, that’s no problem,” Jim shrugs it off casually. “I’m serious. I know this was all pretend, but if you ever want to recreate some of those dates you told my family about-” Jim laughs at that, walking around the bar to face Leonard properly. “How about instead of those stories, we make a few of our own?” Jim suggests, reaching out for Leonard’s phone to put his own number in it. “When are you free?” Leonard asks. “This week?” “Or tonight,” Leonard says, “I noticed you haven’t eaten, and I know a great burger joint-” “Burgers,” Jim says, “I’m sold.” He smiles when Leonard leans in for another kiss. It definitely feels more genuine each time it happens. Which, probably, has been happening more than necessary this night. “Burgers and handsome company,” Leonard corrects him, and Jim laughs, again. “Very.”
Favorite Kaisoo moments : (Personal choice )

@stvnylnt  Here is the post I promised you :) The moments are a personal choice so some other shippes might not see them as important or evident but I consider ‘top’ moments. 

10) Just looking at you makes me happy 

The genuine instant happiness that spreads across Kyungsoo’s face from just looking at Jongin is so beautiful and so precious.  Jongin wasn’t doing anything to make him laugh, no funny face and as you can see, he wasn’t talking ( telling a joke or smthg) YET Kyungsoo smiles so widely when their eyes meet.  Just look at how happy he becomes when Jongin turns to him. Would you smile like that at someone you don’t genuinely like ? Also if you’ve noticed, Kyungsoo was intensely staring at Jongin even before he turned towards him. This moment is so precious.

9) I can’t keep my hands off of you 

This moment is just legendary. Look at how naturally Jongin holds Kyungsoo’s hand into his, caressed it and keep their hands intertwined for while, all while casually talking to the person next to him.  This moment is among the most suspicious Kaisoo moments I have ever seen. Friends just don’t do this. This such a couple thing, touching you for no reason just to feel you and be close to you. Look at how Kyungsoo instantly glances up straight to the camera, he looks a bit nervous to me, like he was worried or something which makes what’s going on even more credible. 

8) You are all I see

Similar moment 

The two moments are gold. Jongin seems to be always unable to keep his eyes of Kyungsoo, even when there is no reason for him to stare. I noticed how sometimes in group interviews, Jongin will often be looking in Kyungsoo’s general direction, he would glance at whosoever talking and then back to Ks ( mostly unconsciously) and  so on. In the second picture, it looks like suddenly during a live performance, Jongin decided to glance back ( which is something he rarely does, we all know how serious he is about delivering a perfect dance) and caught Kyungsoo’s eyes and the two remained looking at each other for few more seconds.  It feels to me like looking at each other, in some, reassure/calms Kaisoo, specially during performances. This is not the only time they’ve done it.

7)  You got me under your spell 

This moment is one of the most iconic and telling moments of all the KD history. Jongin just looks plain mesmerised by Kyungsoo. Let’s be honest here, if you caught your straight male friend gazing at a girl this same exact way , would you even doubt for a second that he has some sort of crush on her ? I think that answers why this is on the list. 

6) Suddenly shy 

This moment is one that I add to my list of the most suspicious and credible Kaisoo moments. Just look at how timid and shy Jongin is suddenly behaving once he realizes Kyungsoo is behind him. His whole demeanor is off  (nervous, stiff and curling towards himself). In the second gif, he subtly throws a quick glance at Kyungsoo and once he find the other already looking at him, he instantly looks away, like he didn’t want to get caught looking but couldn’t help himself. What you conclude from this is up to you but I say, someone has a crush. 

5) I am here for you

Such beautiful caring moments. Kyungsoo never hesitates to step in and help. He is there whenever Jongin needs him. I love how giving and attentive he is to Jongin’s needs/health. He truly cares for him and that shows. and it goes both ways : 

(Jongin stops to bring the chair closer for Kyungsoo)

4) Goofing around

I truly love this small moment. It’s not often that we get to see Kyungsoo all playful and goofy but look at how at ease he is biting into Jongin’s hat and teasing him. A great indication of a intimate healthy bond is the ability to let go, loosen up around each other and goof around. Just look at how happy they look. 

3)  The infamous Eskimo kiss

This moment is beyond beautiful. It’s the most heartwarming display of affection that Kaisoo has ever expressed towards one another. It speaks of a great level of intimacy and trust. I love how they naturally turn towards each other and rub noses. So adorable <3

2) The golden moment : ‘My Jagi’

It would be a crime not to include this moment in the list. I don’t think I need to explain myself.  It can’t get any clearer than this.

1)  I need you closer  ( my personal favorite)

And here it is, my personal favorite. I know there are better and more intimate moments than this one but I just love it. It sums up their entire relationship. Look at how Jongin’s hands casually encircled Kyungsoo’s waist in front of the whole world and somehow kyungsoo doesn’t show a single sight of protest or discomfort. They look so natural together, so right. The chemistry between them is just pouring off the picture. I showed this picture to a non-kpop fan friend and she told me :” I never knew there was a famous gay couple in Korea. What’s their names ?”.  Kaisoo can’t get more couple-y than this. 

That’s about it :) choosing was so hard because every Kaisoo moment is a precious moment but I had to settle on certain ones so I hope I answered your ask. 

Credits : all the gifs and pics used belong to their respective owners. Thank you. 

pxiao  asked:

Top five Fruitshipping moments. Cause I want to see a good show don't tell relationship and we have plenty of moments to fill a large variety of these lists.

Oh god just 5??? Okay I got this be still my heart

5. Episode 2, Yuzu and Yuya’s action duel

Okay I know this is pretty early in the series and it can be seen as platonic, but you get so much character from this scene and grounds of a solid friendship between them. Like:

Yuzu’s getting shit because she was rude to Yuya like some of the fandom does to her lol but instead she just goes with it.

Like at this point of the story we now know both Yuya and Yuzu are entertainers, and now we get to see them doing what they love together and how they work off each other.

Not to mention this scene is funny as hell. Like wow it’s just showing us two cuties performing together (granted it’s not perfect because Yuya’s in funk atm) and I already fell for their dynamic at this point and its only ep 2. 

ALSO they fucking used Plain Plain (where this duel took place) in episode 141 to rip my god damn heart out and to show this duel had meaning and we should realize that we’re missing Yuzu.

4. Yuya is PISSED/cry baby (eps 50 + 51)

At this point in the show we’ve gotten a good basis on their relationship. Yuya and Yuzu are childhood friends with the same goal and they inspire each other to become stronger. Pretty standard and honestly nothing new.

And then they get separated.

Like I did NOT expected them to act the way they did when this happened (at least Yuya because when has a main protag ever cared that much for the female protag minus Anzu from season 0)

I am 98% sure that this is the first time Yuya has cried openly to people without his goggles AND ITS CAUSE OF YUZU. This boy has hidden his emotions about his dad, his bullying, and pendulum summoning but Yuzu’s apparent capture is what got Yuya to finally show his sadness and not cover them with jokes and his goggles.

Yuya as we know, when he’s not berserker, is a pacifist but he’s going out of character because he’s so mentally distraught and sad. Like the only person I would get like that for is my twin so to me this speaks volumes since Yuya values Yuzu’s well being over his own values.  

And then in Yugioh it’s a known thing that the female protags most times stay on the side line and cheer on the main protag AND THEYRE ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGING IT AND IT’S SUPER IMPORTANT TO YUYA. Like apparently Yuma’s says something similar to Kotori near the end of Zexal but I’m not there yet but like this is ep 50 compared to 140-something.

Looking back this is super important. Like when Zarc got revived he stated he was surprised/thrilled that there was more to Pendulum Summoning than he first thought (combining all the three methods w/ it) and the reason Yuya was able to do it was because of Yuzu. He was able to go beyond Zarc’s expectations and plans BECAUSE OF YUZU.

God when has a main protag screamed out a female protags name like that before in yugioh??? 

Yuzu is also a cry baby three episodes down the line.

3. Yuzu saves Yuya from Zarc

It speaks volumes when nearly all your friends (including your bff THE MAN Gonzengaka) can’t save from Satan, but the moment you say one sentence to you, you regain some control.

Like god, I love their relationship. Zarc and Ray are literally trying to destroy the other but these two can break through their previous lives soul’s to communicate with one another cause of how god damn much they mean to each other.

Listen if you go across DIMENSIONS to get save someone in Yugioh YOU KNOW your ship is real (Spiritshipping and Keyshipping being the other prime examples). But like in my fruitshipping video (which ya’ll should watch) this moment is when I used the lyrics ‘no distance can ever keep us apart’ because WOW dimensions AND demonic/angelic possessions isn’t enough sever the bond between these two.

Also my otp tag.

2. Yuya summons Odd-Eyes Raging Dragon

Lowkey this moment is up so high because Yuya’s just fucking amazing in this scene. Like Zarc’s influence is getting stronger but like LIST OF THINGS THAT HAVE CAUSED YUYA SO GO BERSERKER 

-Ep 39 with Zarc’s trigger words and Yuya didn’t even remember it

-Yuto’s memories of being attacked the Academia 

-Being electrocuted in the god damn brain

-Being in the same area as all four boys that causes a hole to open in the sky

-Creepy old guys touching Yuzu

Like one of these things is not like the other lol

Seriously though, the others are near close to psychological torture and PTSD but someone touching Yuzu inappropriately invokes the same amount of rage from Yuya. THATS A HUGE ASS COMPARISON. Also the scene was gorgeous god damn.

1. Yuzu inspires Yuya during Friendship Cup

Okay this moment…THIS is when Fruitshipping went from a casual ship to god damn otp for me.

So for the past couple eps, Yuya has been feeling like shit (ground facility, losing Jack, missing Yuzu), of course Yuzu doesn’t know some of bad shit that’s going on, but goddamit the citrus is going to show the tomato that she’s okay.

Like dueling for other people is nothing new to yugioh but holy SHIT

Of course Yuzu doesn’t know the cost of losing, but all she wants to do is make Yuya feel at ease (which the poor boy hasn’t felt in so long fuck)

Yuzu hasn’t spoken to Yuya this entire arc but she knows how he’s feeling right now. She knows Yuya. This just furthers the belief that they’ve known each other for so god damn long and are ‘irreplaceable’ to one another.

Look at how goddamn surprised he is. Like instead of worrying about herself, she’s worried about him?? Granted this might have to do with Yuya’s self worth issues And as the duel goes on, it’s not just her feelings she trying to convey to Yuya (hot-blooded and shivers). Instead of ‘oh look it’s your love-interest’s feelings’ she shows that everyone from back in Standard are also with Yuya.



Just…fuck me. 

Chanbaek in Roommate..

omg.. i know this is a bit late for an analysis / my thought about all the chanbaek in Roomate the other day..but after close observations and discussions i came out with this post.. hahah…lol.. enjoy.. 

after reading this you may want to re-watch Roomate ep13 again.. hehehe..

**warning : this is just what my chanbaek shipper’s mind managed to capture after watching 39 minutes of chanbaek in Roomate ep.13.. and it’s SUPER LONG post.. i didn’t break it into parts.. so bear with it..^_^.. you must’ve known by now that i believe in Chanbaek so hard its not even funny anymore.. so don’t like what you’re gonna read..? no need to read it and no need bash me ok.. we are all love chanbaek here don’t we..?? heheh..**


ok let’s start..


first of all can we take a moment and enjoy the fact that Baekkie call channie when he is mere bored..?? 

hehehe…*dramatically applause*

**which means he didn’t have any schedule at the moment**

and did anyone noticed how chanyeol was taken aback when suddenly baekkie said he wanna visit the Roommate house..??

he hesitated..


the one that asked baekhyun to come is actually minwoo… Chanyeol eyeing his roomates and suddenly minwoo ask Baekhyun to come visit and as if he got the green light he’s waiting for, Chanyeol immediately ask baekkie to visit…hehe… i bet he must be very excited but half unsure if baekkie really gonna come..



and how did he came..? he said he came by was he..?

i don’t know if this is true but he does look like he come by himself.. the production crew didn’t show baekhyun come out from a car or a van.. we can say that he really come by himself..

the question here is WHY..?? why he decided to come right away after he call chanyeol..? and why he came by himself..? why he make it hard for himself..? maybe the manager really doesn’t know that he sneaked to the Roommate house..?? i’m not sure… what do you think..? 

let’s go back to chanyeol shall we..? can we talk about chanyeol hidden dimple that shows up when he know baekhyun is at HIS house..? 

look how anticipate he is.. he looks like he can’t wait another second to meet baekkie.. he looks so happy to meet his best-friend..  he also looks like disbelieved that baekhyun really came.. doubt maybe..? that baekhyun really came.. that baekhyun actually managed to come…

i have to admit that in that episode of roommate, chanbaek got many moments, however, its very subtle and kinda - secretive? .. i don’t know why..

look.. why SBS wanna cut so much of chanbaek moments..? i know that we can’t believe SBS Roommate previews but there are a lot of their moments got edited and ended up not being broadcast.. 

Nervous Chanyeol


Chanbaek acoustic duet 


i admit that i anticipated a lot from this visit from baekhyun as a chanbaek moments galore.. at first i thought SBS are not gonna air this episode at all.. but they did..! i wonder why they have to wait up to 5 episodes before air this baekhyun’s visit part..??? maybe they REALLY not gonna air this part but as Bom’s part needed to be cut out and i guess many EXO fans ask for this part be air, the SBS decided to air it..

but SBS cut a lot of Chanbaek moements.. its not fair..!! when other guests come to the house they got almost half the air time but baekkie only got 39 minutes.. huhuhu T_T …

*wipes tears* Ok back to chanbaek..

when chanyeol first saw baekkie at his house, he was kinda shocked..


didn’t baekkie already said that he wants to visit..? my thought..? i think chanyeol didn’t expect baekhyun really come.. he don’t think that manager are gonna allow him to come.. maybe the manager know something about chanbaek that make chanyeol disbelieving..  but he really at the roommate house.. 

**caption : Heok! (you) really came?**

and the first thing chanyeol did when he saw baekhyun is run towards him and hold his hand..???

if you look closely you probably can see that actually chanyeol are going for a hug.. coz his both hands are up towards baekhyun..

chanyeol had been in the house for few months now, he is kinda used to the camera.. at some point when you are too comfortable and used to something you kinda forgot that they are surrounding you…

but knowing there are camera everywhere, baekhyun stops channie by receiving his hands in a very feminine manner EVER..!! look at their hands.. it looks so right… like they are used to hold hands like that.. look how baekkie take channie’s hand and look how they grip their hands together.. best-friends do that..!!????

and one more weird thing happened… its what chanyeol said to baekkie after that..

why is it weird seeing your own best-friend in your house..? or is it weird that baekhyun actually really in his house..? it kinda feels like chanyeol didn’t believe that baekhyun managed to actually came.. you know what i meant..? like it is something close to impossible but it happened..

maybe chanyeol think its impossible baekhyun are gonna make it to his house because - my guess - the manager and the company are not gonna allow it.. that’s why i think SBS actually consider not airing this part.. maybe they have too many obvious moments that can make fans noticed about their relationship.. maybe.. who knows right..?



SBS cut many Chanbaek moments that can rise suspicions.. Nervous Baekhyun and clumsy chanyeol on Channie’s bed.. they are so adorable.. 

i don’t understands why but many of chanbaek’s duet are not broadcast-ed anywhere.. many times i heard that chanyeol had prepared some songs and performance with baekhyun but unfortunately it never get on TV or any shows.. i’m sad T_T..

and this is one of them.. i wanna see chanbaek duet again, like in Boom street where they sang that love song and chanyeol messed up his guitar solo.. SBS cuts and edited just too many.. WHY..!?? 



Eventho they edited many of Chanbaek’s obvious moments and skinships, little did they know, Chanbaek is very careful when they touch each other.. they can make it look very normal yet so loving and longing.. with hidden meanings kind-of-skinships..?


Remember when mama Shin asked Baekhyun which girls he is most curious about..?

look carefully at Mr.Park.. his wide grin disappear.. Jealous much Park Chanyeol..? 

and suddenly he tries to grab the cake slicer on Baekhyun’s hand.. with no reason whatsoever.. hahah… he is so obvious.. and Baekhyun didn’t even glance at other girls and pointed out GaYeon while his other hand instinctively handing the cake slicer to chanyeol.. how he knows chanyeol wanna take that cake slicer..!? soulmates~~~

hehehe.. maybe its just another reason for them to have some skinships..  and for Chanyeol to show his emotions at the moment.. hehe..


They danced to Overdose for the Roommate family..

and there’s Chanyeol, making weird face while Baekkie bend in front of him (because his pants are too tight) .. Park Chanyeol..! control your hormones..!

what with the tongue and the eyeing and the lip-bite..??!??


their glances and eye-contacts..


Park chanyeol being a proud boyfriend… haha.. 

His power is shining my life.. while I’m warming his.. <3

Baekhyun can do this.. Baekhyun will do that.. again, chanyeol will do anything to make sure Baekhyun got airtime.. and proudly show off his wifey.. hehe…


moments that didn’t caught obviously by camera.. but the reflection on the mirror shows their thirst for each other..

out of nowhere, suddenly Baekhyun initiate skinship with Chanyeol.. there’s no reason for Baek to touch Chan at that point.. but why they look so scared but yet so happy when they managed to touch each other for a little moment like that..? 

look how Chanyeol take a quick glance at Baek when he feels Baekkie’s hands on his back…he look at Baek and lean towards his hug..  at this time, everyone are focusing on Seho.. so they think this is the perfect moment to touch each other.. 


Again chanyeol being a proud and happy boyfriend for Baekhyun..

look at the proud shining on Chanyeol’s face when he see sassy Baekhyun.. hehe.. again.. its the mirror that capture this… 


and lastly… can we talk about why suddenly baekhyun have to leave..?? he already changed his clothes to seho’s and settle himself on dongwook’s bed, that means he really want to spend the night at the roommate house.. 

if you watch ep.10 where Lee Dok Hwa(?) sunbae-nim came to the roommate house, we can see that he didn’t want to sleep over he just want to rest for a while.. so he just laying on Seho’s bed and not changing his clothes.. 

but its definitely different in Baekhyun’s case.. Baekkie already changed his clothes to stranger’s clothes and lay  comfortably on stranger’s bed, and suddenly his phone rang and he has to leave..??!? if he just wanna rest for a while, why bother changing his clothes..?? and after few hours he has to change again.? right..?

and if you look at chanyeol when he send baekhyun to the car, you can see that he already asleep and woke up just to send Baekkie.. is that means that he really thought baekkie are gonna spend the night there..? and got caught off guard when beakkie said he has to leave.. and again.. remember, didn’t baekkie said he was bored earlier..? which i guess he don’t have schedule that day.. why he has to LEAVE..!?? 

chanyeol looks nervous and baekkie look aggrieved when they walk towards the car.. look at channie’s face when baekkie  grab his hands and hold it tight just for that short moment before he got in the car and gods know what happened to him after that..


so what do you think..? i bet many of you will say this is just me and my chanbaek shipper’s mind hallucinating and delusional.. maybe you’ll say that none of what i write is true and i just manipulating things.. but please.. we all know Baekhyun is Fearless right..? he stands up for what he believe… and for what he wants… if you realized, all the secret skinships and longingness initiated by baekhyun.. chanyeol just play along.. they miss each other.. i know that.. i can see that.. but they can’t show much coz camera all over the house.. and even if they did show much, i’m sure SBS and SM will edit it and ensure it didn’t go out to public.. 

there are too many edited parts, and its suspicious at some point.. chanyeol and baekhyun themselves also suspicious that day.. but again.. this is just what I thought when i watch Baekhyun around chanyeol and Chanyeol being around Baekkie.. 

if you disagree, just ignore this rant….

but #IWillAlwaysBelieveInChanbaek <3

anonymous asked:

My friends keep on insisting that Zayn loved Louis first and that his was more love love rather than Louis .. That Zayn probably loved Louis more Coz there's so much signs and looks and proof from Zayn side rather from Louis. Your thoughts?

I have to admit, I’m sometimes guilty ridden with the same thought. I try not to let it come to mind often, because I don’t think it’s fair to Louis or Zayn, nor is it necessarily true. I actually was asked about this subject once, so here’s the question and response, in case you’re curious. To be fair, I think theres as much love from Louis to Zayn as there is from Zayn to Lou. It’s just presented differently. I think Louis’ far more reserved to keep his feelings to himself and present a harder shell. Zayn wasn’t quite as hindered in sharing his thoughts or feelings than Lou. So, I think because of those character traits, you’re gonna see far more Zayn actions displayed than Louis actions. But that’s not accurately indicative that one loves the other less or more.

Additionally, there’s some really good moments that show Louis’ love and admiration for Zayn. You just have to take a little bit more of a glance. But Zayn-loving Louis is a real thing. We’ll go through this together. Buckle up.

I’ll throw this in first, because this was before they even had a chance to really get close. Zayn couldn’t make it to their first ‘bonding trip’ rehearsal at Harry’s dad’s place right away, so when Zayn finally could make it our to the band’s rehearsal, Louis drove all the way from Manchester, to Bradford, then back to Manchester. Just because. Because it’s Louis and he knew he wanted to be there for Zayn. There was no other way in Louis’ book to see Zayn through than picking him up personally and making a road trip of it.

That is an important one right off the bat because the backstory behind this moment was that during X-Factor, Zayn lost his grandfather earlier in that week, had gone back home, and couldn’t practice with the boys that week of his leave. On live performance night, though, Zayn did just perfectly, and clearly Louis was proud, knowing how hard a situation that must have been for Z. So a swift kiss to the temple was fitting.

I’m sure someone made Zayn the punchline of some joke, and here we have Louis, stroking his face and siding with his boy.

They were so lovey-dovey cuddly that night!

I genuinely….Is there anything I really could say about this photo? Why is Louis trying to lace his fingers with Zayn, while Zayn’s clearly busy signing something? Calm yourself, Louis.

No, I didn’t include this because Zayn is a charming, little dork. Please take notice at the bottom of the gif, where Louis is literally holding Zayn’s tummy.


Just…Why? Do you see how happy they are? How Louis is holding Zayn’s face?

He’s literally saving his Zayn from getting hit by a soccer ball. Then he pulls him into a hug?? I guess saving each other goes both ways..

Again, there is NO explanation for how compromising this position is. He literally looks like he’s trying to kiss Zayn. Tell me he doesn’t…

I couldn’t tell you what he’s trying to reach for, but i’ll just leave Louis to draping himself over Z, fondling his boyf.


No, really—WHAT??

All I can focus on here is Louis’ hands. #SorryNotSorry

Alright then…Just grab him by the hips. That’s standard bro behavior.

So is having your paper dolls kiss shamelessly on camera, knowing damn well what you’re doing.

“Bro, please help me with my belt.” Said no man ever, except Zayn Malik to Louis fuckin Tomlinson. And Louis’ a willing, little helper. Who even are these cheeky boyfriends???


Please never forget how Louis looks at Zayn here. It’s forever burned into my brain.

Yes, you’re seeing that correctly. Louis’ touching Zayn’s bum for once.

And Z’s loving it.

Good answer, Zayn. Louis’ already smitten.

Again, just focused on fixing Zayn’s pants.


I know this is Zayn advancing towards Louis, but please take notice over Louis’ hands. He loves touching Zayn’s tummy as much as Zayn loves touching his.

If that’s your tactic of vying for Zayn’s attention…then, okay, sugar. Louis deadass turning to mush laughing with his boyfriend. I cant.

Look at how sad that peanut is : (

Just clutch that knee, Tommo, why don’t you…

Thank you, Louis. Really. You always knew how to pull Zayn out of the comfort of his shell sometimes.

I will forever die over this. It genuinely looks like they’re kissing. So i’ll take it!

Yes, they’re feeding each other. Is that not what one dude does for the other?

Tell me they don’t look utterly in love with the other. Tell me.

Louis’ saying something just between them. And his face shows it all. I’ll never get over it. It’s so…soft, in a way?

I just love Louis stepping back and letting Zayn control the conversation.

This video was so full of Zayn praise from Louis. I LOVE It! As well as the domesticity of waking Zayn up, daily. The boyfriends had a routine, cute.

So true. Louis can see it, why cant some of you?

That’s right, Kevin.

“Because he is so, so beautiful.” LOUIS, PLZ!?

I don’t need that, you two. Can you tag your compliment porn, please?

I’m gonna throw in a few more posts with Louis being the number 1 fan of Zayn’s voice here, and a post about them fondling each other’s chest here. Good times.

I focused on older moments, but rest assure; Louis still very much loves and respects his boy…

“We will always have that love for each other.”

If you take anything from this post, take that quote with you. Please.

To sum up this too long post, I can see where someone might assume at first glance, that Zayn ‘loved’ Louis more than Louis did Zayn. But I wouldn’t say that’s factual. Louis just kept his admiration personal and private, probably between them. But that doesn’t mean he loves Zayn any less. If louis didn’t love Zayn as much, we wouldn’t have seen him as absolutely shattered and devastated as he did when Z left. So I hope this helped give your friend a better insight into Louis’ side of things. He loves Z. He does. We just have to give him credit for it, have faith. But Thank you for asking, I hope this suffices an answer!

Scars You Don't Know About - Solangelo One Shot

So recently, I remembered that Will was a year rounder at camp and I had vague memory of this headcanon saying that maybe Will was attacked for being gay/bi/pan or either one. So here’s something I wrote;


‘Why don’t you ever visit home?“ Nico had asked one day, out of pure curiosity.

However, the immediate reaction from Will had made him realize he’d made a mistake. The son of Apollo froze, eyes wide and skin pale. He turned to Nico, mouth wavering slightly, and eyes furrowed as if recalling a memory. A bad memory. There was a bit of emotion in his eyes… fear, Nico recognized.

Maybe it had been a monster. Nico didn’t ask further. But the thought was on his mind for a few days, and at the tip of his tongue every time he saw Will bounding across the greens of Camp Half Blood, treating people’s injuries and pains, asking what had caused them while Nico wondered what had caused Will his own pain.

Nico decided to be subtle, “Percy is going home for thanksgiving,”

The autumn leaves were starting to wither. The red was disappearing and the cool breeze was picking up into a wind. Will has stiffened, as if knowing where Nico was leading the conversation.

“Oh,” Will’s voice sounded tense, but he pretended to make it feel breezy and emotionless, “Uh, great,”

“His mom misses him, apparently,” Nico said. Apollo had gone on his quest with Leo and Calypso. They hadn’t been back yet. Will didn’t have any of his family at this point. His siblings were all at home as well.

The camp was eerily quiet.

“Mothers care too much,” Nico said, “That’s what Percy told me. I never knew, I mean,”
Will kept strangely silent, not replying. He continued to wrap the perfectly angled bandages around the sleeping patients wrist. Wrap. Unwrap. Wrap. Unwrap.

The patient had broken his leg. Not wrist. It was obvious Will was distracted, because his performance was great, usually.

Nico stared, “I wish I had someone to spend thanksgiving with,”

Will kept his eyes locked to the ground, giving Nico tentative nods when needed. The son of Hades was trying to get to know Will, but he didn’t realize he was pushing his luck.

“Will,” Nico said, after a moment of awkward silence, “Are you going home for thanksgiving, too?”

Will didn’t meet Nico’s eyes. He didn’t look up from the ground. Just a small shake of his head. It was getting extremely obvious that Nico was trying to ask him why he didn’t go home.

“Oh,” Nico said in a small voice, “Your mom must miss you,”

Nico still didn’t use too many modern terms. Back when he was a child, he called his mother ‘mama’ and simply regarded everyone’s mom’s as 'mothers’. Never the words 'mom’ or 'mum’. But he’d heard Will use them, so he was trying for the son of Apollo.

But the blonde didn’t reply. He gave a small shrug of his shoulders. Nico frowned. This wasn’t getting anywhere.

“You don’t even go back for Christmas, Will,” Nico said, “Your family-”

“My family knows why I’m here,” Will said, finally snapping and looking up at Nico with a look of disgruntlement, “I can’t go back. I have my reasons. I don’t ask you why *you* don’t go back,”

Nico was a little bewildered, “You know I don’t have anyone to go back to!”

“Well, maybe it’s the same for me,” Will chided.

Nico shook his head, “Apollo was talking about your mother,”

“Did he mention whether she was still alive or not?” Will asked, and then shook his head as if ashamed, “Ugh. What am I saying.
Forget I said that, she’s alive and well, thank goodness,”

“She may be alive,” Nico said wearily, “But I doubt she’s too happy being away from her son, for what,” Nico looked at Will’s beaded necklace, “Six years,”

Will looked away, “I wasn’t always an all year rounder, you know,”

Nico rolled his eyes, “You never told me,”

Will rolled his eyes, “For a reason, of course,”

Nico looked at the ground, "Do you think… it’s okay for me to ask?”

Will glanced up at him, “I don’t know. I guess it’s still a sore subject… though it shouldn’t be. I’m very comfortable in my skin,”

Nico frowned. Will wasn’t making much sense.

“Look, when I was ten, I kissed a guy. A boy, a male. A dude,” Will said, laughing emotionlessly, “Wow. I just, it’s really not that surprising or even weird to say now but back then, I just…

Anyway. I was only ten. All I knew was that I could like whoever I wanted and my mother wouldn’t care, but apparently the kids in my school would. And so would the rest of my family. We were in elementary, we got caught, okay? He was a demigod, too. That’s why we were friends. Our mothers knew, and I just took the chance. Someone saw us. The guy escaped. He ran but I didn’t and then… I guess I ended up with way too many scars for my mother to be okay with me staying there. When the word got to my family… we’ll, they weren’t too happy being the Texans they are. I came here, I started to help people fix their scars the way no one did for me… it’s… i don’t think about it anymore,”

Nico stared at Will, his heart beating faster as the minutes went by. So this was what had happened to the upbeat sunshine, Will Solace. The same boy who put everyone’s needs before his. The same boy who was so dedicated to helping everyone. The same boy who would put his trust into everyone. The same boy who was never accepted back at home.

Nico leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Will’s torso, immediately feeling the son of Apollo grip his own body tightly. Will placed his cheek on the top of Nico’s head.

“I… don’t really know what to say,” Nico mumbled into Will’s shoulder, “I wish you didn’t have to tell me this way… I’m sorry,”

Nico felt Will shake his head, “No… I should’ve told you earlier. It’s not like keeping it inside was helping too much. I’m glad I told you,”

“I hope you know that everyone here loves you… and… you’re accepted. You’re amazing, and we all love you,”

A chaste kiss was placed on Nico’s head. The son of Hades felt himself smile into Will’s collarbone. Everything was piecing together after all they had gone through in the past, and he couldn’t have been happier about it.

My favorite Produce 101 contestants - Updated after 1st elimination

I was gonna do a TOP11 list but idk if I can handle that, so… I’ll bold the ones I NEED to be in the final group. Also, in case you’re interested, here’s my previous list.
Again, I’m doing this with wikipedia to make sure I don’t miss anyone, so it’s not in rank but according to their companies.

Lee Insoo - I didn’t mention him in my previous post, but boy oh boy. I only realized after the show that he was in A6P as well (I knew Woncheol was), and I watched their mv again a couple of times since then and I’m so emo because I love this song so much and honestly I don’t understand why they disbanded ;-; but anyway yes, I love Insoo he’s so cool~ so I’m putting him on my list this time!

Noh Taehyun & Ha Seungwoon - I mentioned them last time, but I want to say that since then I have actually went and checked out HotShot and I’m just. Wow. I used to be so anti rookie groups during 2013-2014 so I completely gave up on them as soon as they debuted, even though I did listen to their debut for Moonkyu. But I really like them now, so that’s pretty much the only plus of having idols on this show!

Lee Daehwi - I just love this child so much okay he’s such a lowkey drama queen and I love his reactions and he’s so talented I love my son just ;;;;;;
Also I’m digging Lim Youngmin, he’s cute.

Samuel Kim - Another son of mine <3 I don’t have much more to say about him because nothing has changed, but can we talk about how pretty he is with blond hair? (also I’m a tiny bit bitter that he didn’t get 1st place but never mind that)

Ong Seungwoo - I’m still not 100% sure about him but we’ll see. At least he’s extremely beautiful (tbh I would have voted him for #1 visual but ok) and he’s so bright and sweet, so… I’m fine with him being in the top!

Yoo Hoseung - I didn’t initially like him but in the group performances he was really good! And I love FNC artists so much (hate the company though lmfao) so I’m sure he’ll prove himself in the future!


Park Woodam - I mean. Even though I was rooting for group 2 of mansae, I can’t deny how fucking amazing he is and wow just wow. Also he really reminds me of P.O from Block B lol am I the only one or is anyone else seeing it?

Byun Hyunmin - Again, nothing much has changed since last time… His flips are awesome and I hope to see more from him ^^

Lee Woojin - Tiny precious baby, my millionth son ;-; Like I said last time, I’m still scared that his voice will change mid-promotions if he’ll get into the final group, so I kinda hope he’ll wait a few years before he debuts, but he’s still adorable and I love his relationship with Daniel so much that my heart actually melts ;;;;;

Kang Daniel & Yoon Jisung - I just. I love Jisung so much okay. And Daniel too, damn that boy is killing me, but YOON JISUNG. MY NEW GOD. I AM SO HAPPY FOR HIM FOR BEING IN THE 3RD PLACE I JUST LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH.

Kang Dongho, Kim Jonghyun, Hwang Minhyun, Choi Minki - Again, tbh I don’t really care who gets into the final group from Nu’est as long as someone is there. I feel like Jonghyun will be the one in the end, but I’m still rooting for Ren because he’s my bias in Nu’est ^^

Lee Gunhee - I mentioned last time that I didn’t know who I love from the rbw boys but now that I have decided I love Dongmyeong of course he will be eliminated ;-; 

Takada Kenta - no matter what, I just want him to debut. My love for him is growing every single day ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Lee Gwanghyun & Jung Sewoon - my precious Starship boys ;;;;;;;;;;; Whatever happens, I just want to see them both debut this year! Starship, make it happen!

Jung Jung, Justin, Ahn Hyungseob, Lee Euiwoong - I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but Jung Jung is actually my bias from the show (especially now that Yul was eliminated). I mean it’s kinda between him and Kenta, but if he’ll end up in the group (which I hope he will), he’s 100% gonna be my bias. I just. I love him so much ;_; Justin and Hyungseob too, so so much ;; Basically I’m really hoping that eventually all 5 of them (including Seunghyuk) will debut together ^^

Alright, hopefully you enjoyed reading this :) I’ll probably only do another update post after the next elimination, unless something extremely drastic happens and I end up madly falling in love with someone else (like what happened to me today with Eunki god bless).

I know there are a lot of popular guys that I didn’t put in, but so far I just don’t feel as connected to them I guess? I’m slowly starting to like Park Jihoon and Lai Kuan Lin, and I’m on the fence with Joo Haknyeon and Bae Jinyoung, but I need to see more from them to decide. So for now, I’m leaving them out of my list.

anonymous asked:

The Morning after: “ I can’t believe I just did that ” for Mara and Quinn (if you're still doing these prompts)

Everything hurt.

He groaned and forced his eyes open. Blessedly, Mara had the foresight to keep the illumination in their quarters low.

“There you are.”

She spoke barely above a whisper. Cool fingertips danced soothingly over his forehead and into his hair, massaging his scalp. His eyes slid closed and foggy memories of the prior evening began to reassert themselves. He tried to account for the amount of whiskey he’d had at Ovech’s party, but lost count somewhere around five. The details were still muddled, but he was certain he owed his friend a profuse apology.

“What time is it?”

“Nearly noon,” Mara replied, her voice still soft.  

He shifted so he could look up at his wife. Stars, he had not planned on forcing her to nurse him through a hangover before their marriage was even a month old.

“How badly did I humiliate myself last night?”

“By typical standards? Not at all.” She smiled. “You are a very affection drunk, Malavai.”

He frowned, trying to remember.

“How affectionate, precisely?”

“Well within propriety in public, I assure you; even drunk you were able to discern how to act in front of which onlookers. That having been said, I believe Ovech has heard more than he ever needs to about how lovely my hair smells.”

He groaned and struggled into a sitting position.

“I need to apologize to him. Kriff, he shipped out already, didn’t he?”

Mara’s arm slid around his shoulders to support him.

“He said no apologies are necessary, even though he also knows you’ll still holo with one as soon as you are capable of working a communications panel. Here.” She pressed a glass into his hands.

“Water, with an added stimulant that should help your head.”

He took a sip.

“I should have taken one last night.”

“I offered; I believe your exact words were, ‘let me suffer’.”

He winced.

“I’m sorry. I can’t believe I did that.”

She shifted to sit next to him on the bed.

“I’ve never seen you like that, Malavai. Do you need to talk?”

He sighed. She knew something was wrong, of course, but as ever allowed him to decide whether to share the particulars with her.

“I am happy for Colonel Ovech,” he began, his friend’s new rank still a novelty. “He deserves to advance, and the Empire is better for his service, but,” he hesitated and looked down at the glass in his hands.

“We graduated the academy together and swore we would advance in tandem.” He smiled, seeing in his mind’s eye two arrogant, idiot lieutenants with dreams of grandeur. “We planned to personally bring the Republic to its knees.”

“It seemed all but certain when we were both assigned to Broysc’s battle group.”

His smile faded. How wrong they’d been.

“It’s hard watching your friend succeed while you have struggled.”

He looked up and met Mara’s gaze, drawn toward her amber eyes as surely as a moth was drawn to flame.

“That was an immature child’s dream,” he said. “However bad Balmorra was, it led me to you, and I would never trade that.”

She smiled and touched his cheek gently.

“I am many things, Malavai. But I am not a replacement for what Broysc took from you, nor would I every try to be. It’s okay to feel angry about that injustice even as you’re happy for your friend.”

“And please know if you ever wish to leave my service for a better chance of advancement, I will support you. I love you and I love having you here, but I realize serving on this ship keeps you out of the view of the senior officers who make such decisions.”

“My place is here,” he said quietly. “Ovech outranks me, but even his new command will not have nearly the impact that you do.”

Mara leaned forward and kissed his forehead. His head hurt less, he realized; clearly the stim performing its primary function.

“Finish that,” she said, motioning toward the glass. “I’ll see what I can find in the galley that won’t anger your insides too much.”

He watched her go, silky robes swirling in her wake, and took another gulp of water.

Despite the odd trajectory of his life, he had gotten uncommonly lucky, he decided.

  • Gene/Alex Scenes That Made Me Go Whoa… [3/?]

I know, I know, I skipped over all the juicy Galex stuff at the beginning of this season/series. The rescue in 2.01. The whole “talk to me, trust me”/“I thought I’d lost you” business in 2.02. Alex’s obvious jealousy in 2.04. And I agree, it is ALL awesome – beautifully written and perfectly acted. But I’ve skipped to this little scene because it is the culmination of all the dancing around each other they do at the beginning of their second year together, it’s the quiet but infinitely meaningful pay-off of all the care- and trust-building these two do throughout the previous seven eps. I’ve also chosen it because Gene Hunt sitting alone in his office in virtual darkness, sipping whiskey and looking all broody gives me powerful feels when he mutters one word to his Bolly: “Stay”. Alex all but begged him earlier in the series to talk to her and this is when he finally does. At first, she thinks it’s going to be another of those occasions in which she offers support and he shuts her out. She’s retreating in resignation and disappointment when Gene opens his mouth and speaks. It’s only one word but it’s a word that speaks volumes. It says not just “I trust you” but “I need you”, “I want you here for this”. Having learned to speak Hunt, Alex totally understands this. She may not understand precisely what is happening but she trusts him enough to stand by, wait and back his next move, whatever it will be.

She also understands at this point that, as much as she values and lives by words, Gene Hunt values and lives by actions. He is a man of few words but strong, clear actions. And a few actions here speak louder than any words he utters. For instance, it is not mentioned that the whole time Gene is contemplating his team, he never turns his suspicious gaze on Alex. He does not assign her a box, does not for a moment consider her to be the potential culprit. Also left undiscussed is the way in which Alex takes over the interrogation of Chris that Gene clearly doesn’t have it in him to perform. There is no scene in which Gene asks her to do this or Alex suggests she do it. It just happens. And her manner in this scene is as aware of and sensitive to Chris’ plight as it is to her Guv’s feelings of anger, disappointment and betrayal. She doesn’t need to look at him to know what he is feeling. Her back is to him throughout the whole interrogation just as Gene’s is to her during his initial confrontation of Chris. But they are inextricably linked in these scenes – tuned into each other’s needs and acting as a single, cohesive unit. If the beginning of this 2nd series depicts them as dancing around each other, then by this point, figuratively speaking, they are dancing together. Completely entwined and in sync with each other’s movements, habits and instincts.

This entwinement has clearly bled into their personal relationship as well, as evidenced by the final scene of this ep in which Gene shows up drunk and in need of company. Rather than his usual, jovial kind of drunk, here he’s a vulnerable, unbalanced kind of drunk. His pathetic attempt to share stalls but still roughly translates to “I need to talk and you’re the only one I trust”. Again, Alex understands this way of relating now, even finds it endearing. Hence, the covert but fond smile she sends his way as she sips her wine. She doesn’t protest his pretty protest-worthy behaviour. She just adapts, follows, falls into step with him. In fact, you kind of get the feeling that she is happy he turned up and interrupted her sleep, that she needs his company as much as he needs hers. After all, neither of them have anyone else to turn to. Whatever Alex was like in her first life, in this life there is nothing for her outside of CID but the memory of her daughter and the struggle to understand what is happening to her. As for Gene, there has never been any division between the professional and the personal. For him, the professional IS the personal and vice versa. Their work is merely a convenient context for their intimate personal dramas to play out.

Which is why their “break-up” in the following episode is so brutal. Because at this point, their faith in each other is absolute and their emotional intimacy at its most profound. They’ve shed their initial wariness of each other and, with it, their respective armour. Gene’s drunken vulnerability and Alex’s pyjama-ed weariness provide a visual short-hand for this deeper level of emotional intimacy. Indeed, the intimacy of this final scene is highly suggestive, gesturing at the notion that if these two aren’t physically involved at his point then they very soon will be. In my opinion, this is the magical point in canon at which it would be most plausible for Gene and Alex to have slept together (I have just written a fic on this, thus all the thoughts). Put together, these two short, intimate, telling scenes paint a picture not only of colleagues who respect and trust each other but of a man and woman who rely on, care for and understand each other. A couple who’ve become completely enmeshed.              

DiKa Couple Interview [Analysis]

Hey, it’s me again. Well, here I am to express my opinion/feelings about Kaisoo/Kadi/Dika (as Jongin said himself) couple interview. I want to say firstly that I don’t know them and everything I say it’s based on my observations and you how Kaisoo shippers are delusional, right?. And my English isn’t pretty good, so I’m sorry for any mistakes beforehand.

This obviously contains spoilers of the EXO Second Box. If you didn’t see the DVD or you’re not interested in read any of this just ignore this post. Thank you in advance.

I waited some time to pass before writing this for a reason not only because I’m a lazy person tbh. I know all of Kaisoo shippers out there are still euphoric about their interactions (me included, I smiled with feels at college), but I’ll try to be more rational here and honest as well. And I needed to see the couple interview with my own eyes to have a bigger panoram of the situation.

Okay… First thing I have to say about all of this? It was cute as hell!!!! Where do I start? In general lines, I think this interview shows why Kaisoo is so shippable. They aren’t the skinship type of couple but a lot of people really like them together. Kyungsoo/Jongin know this as well. You can see this when they’re questioned about their couple name. Jongin, joking (you can see his face), answers I-O, but Kyungsoo is all: “I think fans call us KaDi”. They’re not blind, you know. They see the banners with their couple names on concerts and fanmeetings. It could force them to touch each other more or be more lovey dovey or even drift them apart. But they base (if it’s a friendship base or a companionship one, I don’t know) is strong since the beginning, that’s why I don’t think they’re a fake couple/created by SM. And ths interview shows it very well in so many levels! I just love it.

The beginning of the interview is quite interesting because Jongin starts laughing when Kyungsoo bows to the camera. He gives that characteristic laugh that appears on his face only when you see something he thinks that’s super cute as Taeoh or when his niece or his dogs make something lovely. Kyungsoo looks like he is in a good mood too, with a shy smile at first. It may seem silly, but those laughs Jongin gives when he’s near of Kyungsoo are super interesting. That’s because he has the habit of beating everyone when he laughs. EVERYONE. It can be Sehun, Suho, Luhan (miss u forever baby), Baekhyun, Chanyeol … Anyway. Regardless of the person being his hyung or dongsaeng, he does it, like a instinctive action. Everyone, least Kyungsoo.

This can mean several things: respect, fear… Choose what you find most acceptable. For me, this is his way to show how much he cares about Kyungsoo to the point of control a habit just because his hyung doesn’t like it. It may just be afraid to be beaten, of course. But linking it to several other Kaisoo moments, I don’t think he controls himself only because of fear.

Look at how happy they are, I cry. 

I find it interesting when they were asked about what they have in common. I don’t know if they spoke basic things such as they’re being roommates or about their dark skin because they really don’t have much things in common or because this is, somehow, an intimate question. Any of these explanations is acceptable, because if the first one is the correct answer, it shows how two people can be close without having necessarily tastes in common or similar personalities. Jongin is a deep, funny and optimistic person while Kyungsoo is mysterious and more reserved, but the interaction between them just flows in a natural way. There is a click between them, which contines to exist, even with the haters hate. And that’s not something you see in many couples out there, especially inside EXO. It is something worthy of admiration, in my opinion.

Returning to the question about their couple name, I need to say how I love the way they handle it. Kaisoo / Kadi is a popular ship in Korea, but both of them carry the entire interview naturally, without forcing anything. Kyungsoo told about the popular name and Jongin even joked about it because he prefers Dika more for reminding him of Digital Kamera! They seem comfortable, as if being close to each other is the most normal thing in the world. One more reason that makes me think that this couple wasn’t created just for fan service, tbh.

I loved the part where they talk about the start of their friendship! It was super sincere and adorable at the same because Jongin admitted (had no choice) to Kyungsoo that he was scared of him, but after all the misunderstandings between them were explained, Jongin opened himself to Kyungsoo and told about they having coffee together every day. EVERY DAY!

Maybe he overreacted a little (I can’t know about that), but regardless, we all know how much Jongin hates coffee. He has spoken and demonstrated this in many ocasions now.

Thus, how he accepted have coffee with Kyungsoo even if it’s something he hates? And see Kyungsoo stating that he watched Jongin before their friendship start is very interesting too, because it was said at another time that Kyungsoo didn’t look at Jongin when they were standing next to each other.

Click here to see the full gifset.

So, I conclude that Kyungsoo was embarassed of Jongin at first and watched him discretly.  You know when you see the person that calls your attention and you look at her, but when she notices your presence or is near you, you look away? I think it was this was what happened between Kaisoo before they become closer. Not necessarily in a crush way, but maybe in a impressive way. I don’t know. You can interpret this how you want.

A respectful pause to comment a little about Kaisoo talking about their roommate rules and blaming Chanyeol in the process because their room was messy. And Jongin’s whining so much at Kyungsoo, like “It’s Chanyeol’s fault. He’s the messy one, not me.”

The part where they talk about Kyungsoo’s drama is one of my favorites. Really. I really think Jongin haven’t seen the drama at all, maybe only the parts that Kyungsoo appeared and, that’s why Jongin didn’t know the movie’s title. I think Kyungsoo knows it too, but just the fact that Jongin remember what happened in the movie, left Kyungsoo with mixed expressions of happiness and surprise on his face. And when asked Jongin’s opinion about it, he said he was sad, though proud to see his hyung (and also the other EXO members) acting, gave me the feeling that he really cares about Kyungsoo to notice the parts that other people are beating him up, even if it’s in fiction.

In my opinion, the most intimate moment of this interview happened when Kyungsoo asked which restaurant he would like to take Jongin. I had this impression because, while they’re talking, Kyungsoo lowered his voice when answered to Jongin, even with they in the middle of a interview with a lot of cameras and mics. But the intention was to share this information with Jongin only and probably this wasn’t a big deal, but I think this moment summarizes well Kaisoo ship because even in front of the fans, they have some facts or interactions they want to keep away from the general public. And needless to comment on the pinky promise, it was very cute!

From this point, we see Kyungsoo and Jongin  praising each other until the end of the interview. Especially the part where they have to speak some talent that makes them jealous of the other. Honestly, to me, they seemed more proud than with envy or jealousy. Mostly Jongin, the most open of the two to talk about the things he likes about Kyungsoo. Who saw the interview with Chen and Jongin knows that he also spoke to Chen that he was “the best singer of Korea and was excited when he heard him sing” (basically the same thing that spoke to Kyungsoo). Only Jongin was really honest when he talked about Kyungsoo. First, because of his tone. The characteristic laugh he makes sometimes didn’t appear on his face when talked about his precious hyung and, besides, all Kaisoo shippers out there can remember at least one moment where Jongin gets starstruck when he hears Kyungsoo singing.

Jongin before Kyungsoo starts singing.

Jongin after Kyungsoo starts singing (he stays like this until the end)

This is a memorable moment one of my favorites. That’s because, by the time Kyungsoo starts singing, it was like Jongin had been hit by a spell. He seems so mesmerized by Kyungsoo’s voice that he can’t even blink!

Kyungsoo also seemed honest in talking about how he feels impressed with Jongin’s dance moves. He even said in other opportunity that he would fall for him if he were a girl after seeing him dance.

kyungsoo’s reaction to jongin’s solo, link for the gifset here.

This gif explains very well this context. Kyungsoo can’t stop looking at Jongin’s dance and he looked so impressed and proud. But it isn’t the first time Kyungsoo acts like this. You can find a lot of another moments around here if you’re not convinced I was too lazy to look for more, I’m sorry.

Regarding their comment about Jongin teaching Kyungsoo a choreography, I have a theory about it that came into my mind even before this interview. Basically, the choreography Jongin taught Kyungsoo was the one he danced on “Deep Breath” performances prepared by Jongin himself.But I’m being randomly now, so I’ll stop talking about it if anyone has curiosity can ask me to do a post better preparing this part.

There are other things I’d like to point out before finishing this post, which are basically:

1. Their body language similarities during the whole interview

2. The way their bodies were discretly tilted towards each other;

3. Jongin’s voice tone while speaking to Kyungsoo. It’s nothing new but it reminded me a lot the way he spoke to/about Taeoh like he was the most precious thing on Earth;

4. How Kyungsoo was delighted, cheerful and sincere all the time.

As I said earlier, this interview shows why Kaisoo otp is so popular. They show different sides of each other when they are together, tolerate, respect each other’s differences and personalities, they see the qualities that the other has and compliment each other without being fake, the way they tease each other, and, above all, how the don’t to do skinship all the time to prove how much they like each other and, for me, this is the basis of a real and healthy relationship between two human beings.

anonymous asked:

Hello! i love your blog, it's so amazing :D Can I please request the RFA + Saeran + V reactions if they're out with MC and MC is scouted to be an idol?? Thank youu~


  • he’s overwhelmingly happy but also lowkey nervous
  • he is dating a soon-to-be idol. 
  • he is dating a soon-to-be idol and his current biggest achievement is his LOLOL rank
  • still, after the initial surprise passes, he decides that he’ll just try harder to get better grades and cheer for MC
  • talks so much about MC and how his lover got scouted to become an idol 
  • always wants to know about the whole thing, and likes to sit next to MC to listen to their plans
  • he’s just. so happy to see MC shine?? like MC deserves all the spotlights and he is so overjoyed to see MC getting recognition
  • sure, when he realizes that other people will be cheering for MC, calling MC cute and other… less pretty things, he has to clutch his pillow and bite down his tongue to avoid thinking about it more
  • but when MC is home, where he is the only one for them, he doesn’t mind those thoughts


  • internal conflict Time
  • she’s told herself so many times idols shouldn’t date publicly  
  • but now she’s dating MC, who is. an idol
  • honestly, she just fears she’ll ruin MC’s career
  • she can just see them, headlines calling MC desperate for dating a simple and boring woman like herself-
  • MC has to put a stop to her train of thought
    • “What if I cause a scandal for you?”
  • MC talks with Jaehee about it, assuring her nothing bad will happen
    • If anything, the media will love you more than me! Honestly, you’re so cute I wouldn’t be surprised if you got scouted too!”
  • MC sounds so sure when telling Jaehee nothing will happen
  • it honestly really helps her
  • and now she’s free to fangirl
  • can she pre-order MC merch now or when can she start stocking up-


  • oh!!!
  • OH!!
  • This!! This is great!!
  • He hugs MC and lifts them off the floor when MC tells him
    • “Babe! This is amazing! I’m so proud!”
  • He honestly can’t wait to see MC shining on-stage
  • he loves being in the stage, and imagining MC feeling that kind of joy while beaming a smile, with the spotlight on them
  • yes this is perfect
  • he signs and dances too-
  • would it be too farfetched to imagine maybe he and MC could perform together once?
  • also they’re everyone’s OTP because they are famous and an adorable couple
  • he is always giving MC tips he’s picked up with the years for when they have stage fright or something like that


  • he’s never been big into the idol industry, in all honesty
  • but he can clearly see this is a big deal for MC
  • and this is a big deal to him too
  • he’ll try to get C&R to sponsor MC
  • he really dislikes the idea of people drooling over MC and calling them nicknames, though
  • he’s seen how Jaehee acts towards Zen. will there be people with MC photos in their houses? will people frame photos of MC? … he just won’t think about that. forget about that completely, ignore that, and focus only on MC
  • also, when the media tries to imply MC got scouted only because of Jumin’s influence, he’s quick as thunder to shut those rumors down
  • or maybe shut the whole news outlet down, if he’s really feeling angry at them


  • oooooooh boy
  • on one hand he’s amazingly happy
    • by that I mean probably typing in all caps with “YEAH!!” in the chatroom and in general being super happy for MC
  • And on the other hand he has Existential Crisis
    • like… he knows that when he passes there will probably be little to no trace he existed. even if he stopped everything shady he is doing and decided to live a normal life
    • he is just invisible. literally nothing left when he is gone
    • and MC is now going to probably be immortalized on people’s minds??
  • he doesn’t really know what to do with those thoughts. he never says them out-loud and tries his best to just meme them out of his system
  • still, MC notices, and quickly talks with him
  • by the end, Seven really feels better
    • who cares if the world doesn’t remember him when he’s gone?? like ok cool whatever he has MC right now when he’s alive. existential crisis? more like existential bye-sis
  • makes a triper bot for MC too 
  • also spreads MC’s name the same way he did with Zen’s, effectively drawing attention to MC’s debut


  • so many people will be looking at MC
  • loving MC
  • he really needs to think for a while
  • he trusts MC with his life, but he can’t help but think MC is too good for him
  • MC deserves a life of glitz and glamour and he just feels like he clearly doesn’t fit in that kind of life
  • he’s scared MC will find out they enjoy being onstage more than being with him
  • what if they leave.
  • what if they leave
  • honestly, MC had thought beforehand Saeran might feel like that; and before his thoughts could spiral out of control, made it clear that they’d much rather lose their status as an idol than dream of leaving saeran
  • since he has trouble with crowds, MC gets him seats that are considered premium and away from all the crowd, but still have amazing view, so he can watch their debut
  • he sees MC being so happy he can’t help but smile through the whole thing


  • he’s really happy
  • like really
  • supportive af
  • this man loves MC to death, anything MC accomplishes is The Best Thing Ever to him
  • keeps going on about how MC is amazing, how they worked hard and all that jazz
  • he’s just really proud and happy for MC
  • also, he really wants to photograph MC in their debut, so MC talks with the people organizing everything
  • people are honestly baffled- it’s rising star MC’s debut, and the widely-known photograph V is taking the photos???? the V?? with MC??
  • The debut is really nice and goes amazing
  • but damn V’s photos made it look greater
  • it was as if he had captured the glow of MC’s happiness and the cheering of the crowd in a photo somehow??? how???
  • overall he is Supportive and Proud and really really happy to see MC achieving so much bless him

anonymous asked:

Please talk about Thomas and Martha Jefferson! They seem like such an otp yet there is hardly anything on them! And Thomas gets so much hate now bc of Hamilton.


i like TJ, but lbh, he acted like an as*hole on many occasions haha. yet, his relationship with Martha is one of the rares things in his life that could redeem him imho. so yessssss: let me talk (A LOT) about the love story of Thomas & Martha Jefferson!!! it will make you cry, i promise

Martha was an accomplished musician who played the pianoforte and spinet, and also sang. When she was 18, she married Bathurst Skelton with whom she had a child named John, but less than two years after the marriage, Bathurst became ill and died in 1768.
After the acceptable period of mourning was over, the wealthy and beautiful (all physical accounts of her describe her as such) new widow began attracting many suitors, including Thomas Jefferson. Thomas fell in love with Martha nearly straightaway, however, she did not share the same feelings for him when he first started calling on her. Neither did her father tho, who didn’t approve of the lower status Thomas Jefferson’s interests in his daughter. Thomas proposed to Martha in early 1771, but she did not accept. Thanks to an encouraging letter written to him by a friend, Mrs. Drummond, Thomas continued to pursue the relationship.
According to family lore, two men waiting outside the Wayles’ house to see Martha heard her and Thomas, who got there before the other men, playing music and singing together. Upon hearing this, they gave up and went home, realising the tenderness between the two. Bonding over things, such as their mutual love of music and literature, Martha accepted Thomas’ proposal by June, 1771. Unlike marriages of generations past that considered monetary and social reasons for tying the knot over romantic feelings, the couple was one of a growing number of couples getting married out of love.
Their wedding was planned for later that summer, however, the bad luck in child rearing that followed the Eppes-Wayles-Jefferson families around struck and caused them to postpone. Martha’s son died at just three and a half years old. The heartbroken Martha and Thomas rescheduled the wedding. During their courtship, Thomas Jefferson’s passion for Martha was so great that it caused him to ignore some of his revolutionary principles. In a blatant violation of the colonial boycott of British goods, Thomas ordered a “forte-piano” from England—along with special instructions about its construction to make sure it would be “worthy the acceptance of a lady for whom I intend it”. Thomas also had is work in progress, Monticello, renovated so it would be less of a bachelor pad and more of a family home.  
On December 23, he wrote out a wedding bond for the couple. In it, he described Martha as a “spinster”, later crossed out and replaced with “widow,” most likely by Martha’s brother-in-law and Thomas’ witness while writing the bond. The Skelton connection was not something Jefferson thought much about. Captivated by visions of their new life together, he had unconsciously edited Patty’s first husband out of the picture in his preparations for the wedding.
On January 1, 1772, Martha and Thomas were married at Martha’s family’s home. After the wedding, to have their honeymoon at Monticello, they made the 100-mile trip in one of the worst snowstorms to hit Virginia. Eight miles from their destination, their carriage bogged down in 2–3 feet of snow and they had to proceed on horseback, riding the remaining distance over a rough mountain track. Arriving at Monticello late at night after the servants had banked the fires and retired, the couple settled in the freezing one-room, twenty-foot-square brick building, still known by its nickname, the ‘Honeymoon Cottage’.Thomas lit a fire in the fireplace to get some warmth and they toasted their new home with a leftover half-bottle of french wine hidden behind a shelf of books, and “song and merriment and laughter”.
Of his beloved wife, Jefferson once wrote, “in every scheme of happiness she is placed in the foreground of the picture as the principal figure. Take that away, and there is no picture for me.”
Nine months after she and Thomas were married, Martha gave birth to the couple’s first of six children, also named Martha but called “Patsy.” Of the six kids, only Patsy and another daughter, Mary, survived childhood, and Patsy is the only one to live a long life. The loss of so many children took its toll on Martha, as did the pregnancies and childbirths themselves (Martha is described as being frail and her health declined with each pregnancy, as they all were physically tough and left her bedridden). When Thomas was Governor of Virginia, she twice had to flee Richmond and Monticello with her children when the British raided both locations. The state of her health during and post-pregnancies kept Thomas as close to home as possible so he could be with his ailing wife, sometimes choosing local Virginia politics over national roles. John Hancock, president of the Continental Congress, asked him to go on a diplomatic trip to Paris, which he declined so he could stay home with Martha.
During the summer of 1776, Thomas had been receiving letters from Martha asking him to come home from the Continental Congress as soon as he could because she was very ill. On September 1, 1776, Thomas Jefferson, the only delegate from the state of Virginia still in Philadelphia, left his state with no vote to attend to his wife. His fears were not unfounded –Martha, like her mother and Mary at the age of 25, would eventually succumb to the difficulties of childbirth.
When she was in good health, Martha and Thomas spent their time reading with each other and performing musical duets for themselves and guests. They each seem to be equally devoted to the other. Martha also proved to be very adept at running a home and managing a large plantation.  
As Jon Meacham noticed in his biography ‘Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power’, Thomas found “In Martha, the most congenial of companions, a woman who spoke his language. Their nights were filled with music and wine and talk—talk of everything. They seemed to have fully shared their lives with each other. He confided in her about politics (…) Smart and strong willed, she liked having her way, was not a woman of retiring nature or of quiet views. She had a mind of her own.”
During the Revolutionary War, “ladies’ associations” begun in many states with the goal of collecting money and making clothing for the Continental Army. In 1780, Martha Washington nominated Martha Jefferson for the head of Virginia’s ladies association. In a letter to Eleanor Conway Madison (the only surviving complete letter written by Martha), she says, “I undertake with chearfulness the duty of furnishing to my country women an opportunity of proving that they also participate of those virtuous feelings with gave birth to it.”
In May, 1782, Martha gave birth to her last child and never recovered from the ordeal. Thomas wrote a letter to close friend, James Monroe, stating, “Mrs. Jefferson has added another daughter to our family.  She has ever since and still continues very dangerously ill.” 
*WARNING: tearjerker anecdote*  While on her deathbed, Martha and Thomas copied lines from one of their favorite novels, “Tristram Shandy” by Laurence Sterne. As she lay dying in their bed at just 33, Martha began writing a passage from the book but too weak, Thomas finished it, transforming the passage into a final dialogue between husband and wife:
   [written by Martha] Time wastes too fast: every letter I trace tells me with what rapidity life follows my pen. The days and hours of it are flying over our heads like clouds of windy day, never to return - more every thing presses on -
   [written by Thomas] and every time I kiss thy hand to bid adieu, every absence which follows it, are preludes to the eternal separation which we are shortly to make!
It seems like Thomas didn’t have the strength to finish the entire quote: —Heaven have mercy upon us both.
On September 6, 1782, a devastated Thomas could only bring himself to write simply in his account book, “My dear wife died this day at 11:45 A.M.”  
He was inconsolable in his loss and “was led from the room almost in a state of insensibility by his sister Mrs. Carr, who, with great difficulty, got him into his library where he fainted” —and not for a brief moment. Jefferson “remained so long insensible that they feared he would never revive.” After the funeral, he withdrew to his room for three weeks, pacing constantly, only allowing his sister to visit him.
He was incoherent with grief, and perhaps surrendered to rage. There is a hint that he lost all control, according to his daughter Patsy, the “witness to many violent bursts of grief” : “the scene that followed (…) when, almost by stealth, I entered his room by night, to this day I dare not describe to myself”. He destroyed all her letters and didn’t keep any of her belongings -just a few survived-. In a letter to his sister-in-law, he even was alluding to the possibility of suicide: “This miserable kind of existence is really too burdensome to be borne (…) I could not wish its continuance a moment”, but he would endure for their children. Jefferson remained “inconsolable” – a word used by many biographers and Jefferson’s contemporaries to describe his condition – for months. He sobbed deeply at night, broke down when he tried to appear in public and talk about his deceased wife, and news of his grief and shattered condition spread through the colony.
Not until after long weeks did Jefferson begin to resume a normal life when he wrote, “emerging from that stupor of mind which had rendered me as dead to the world as was she whose loss occasioned it. All my plans of comfort and happiness were reversed by a single event.”
Jefferson erected a marble tombstone for his wife at Monticello, with the inscription stating she had been “torn from him by death.” On her gravestone, as a part of the epitaph, Jefferson added lines from Homer’s The Iliad: Nay if even in the house of Hades the dead forget their dead, yet will I even there be mindful of my dear comrade ; and below: This monument of his love is inscribed.
Keeping a promise he allegedly made to Martha, he never remarried.
Thomas never fully recovered form her death. He never mentioned his wife, even to his closest firends, and almost 40 years after her death, he still referred to her in his autobiography as “the cherished companion of my life, in whose affections, unabated on both sides, I had lived the last ten years in unchequered happiness.”
After Jefferson’s death, in a secret drawer beside his bed, a folded paper with the “Tristram Shandy” text written by Martha on her deathbed was found –a lock of her hair carefully hidden inside–. Its wear showed that it was opened and refolded often.


Spotlight Shining

Nonnie prompted famous Klaine, where Blaine’s a singer/songwriter and Kurt’s a fashion designer. Their fans always freak out when they’re seen together.
Note: I tweaked it a little. Their relationship is kept as a secret first because speculating fans are the most fun to write. Song used is All About Us by He is We. AO3
Warning: Fangirls swear here, much like we do on tumblr, but just a tiny bit.

Kurt stood in front of the mirror in his room, putting on the finishing touches on his outfit. Being the owner and fashion designer of Hummel’s Designs meant that everywhere he went, paparazzi would be snapping pictures of him and he had a reputation to uphold. He checked himself over, gave himself a spin and nodded to himself, unlocking his phone to see a text from Blaine.

Hey there, sweetie. Headed to hair and makeup now and as usual I reserved a seat for you in the front row. Can’t wait to see you! xoxo, B

Keep reading

I loved you first (chapter 7, the last one!)

I’m sorry for the wait on this one guys, there are two main reasons for that: 

I was clearly distracted by Thomas Sharpe who was so loud in my head it was impossible for me to still hear Tom and Emmy, and reason nr 2: this is the final chapter, I needed this to be exactly right and I wasn’t going to put it up if I wasn’t sure.

This story has been one of my favorites to write, even though the feels were almost too much to bear at some point I enjoyed every minute of it and I do believe Tom and Emmy might be my OTP ;)

Your comments and messages for this story have been overwhelming, I didn’t expect too much interest for ‘just a romantic story’ that isn’t high on smut, so it is very refreshing to see how a lot of you seem to love this story as much as I do. You’re all amazing and your support means the world.

Okay, so here we go…

There is some smut in this chapter so I’ll put up NSFW 18+ but it’s nothing too explicit.

Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6


I loved you first (Chapter 7)


I’m not sure who was more nervous, him or me. If it was him he didn’t show it, what was the expression again: to own a stage?
Well, he was owning it, every word, every gesture, every emotion. I noticed every single person in the crowd around me had their eyes on him the entire time, even during the scenes where he wasn’t speaking.

The room was packed, it was a one time performance from his university Theatre club, one night only so everyone had as many friends and family there as they possibly could get together. 

I was sat next to Haley who sat next to Emma and Tom’s mum followed by a few of his closest friends. 

I might as well have been there all alone because I didn’t pay attention to anything around me, all I had eyes for was him.

The words seemed to flow from him, like this was all he had ever done, the more I watched him the more I was convinced that this was all he should ever be doing.
He had mentioned his love for acting many times before in conversation, but I always assumed it was just a childhood dream. Tonight I was witness to how much more it was to him.

I had never seen him more passionate or more happy than right now in this moment, him on the stage and all eyes on him.

I had no words for how talented he was, his presence was incredibly engaging, his body language so strong and the emotions. I sat there going through all of them with him, and I hadn’t even noticed until the curtain fell that I had tears in my eyes.

It had been five months now since we shared a bed, a night I still went back to in my mind way too often. Watching him on that stage and seeing how perfectly his body moved through every scene I couldn’t help but remember how that body felt when it moved against mine and how much I had missed it. 


I rose from my seat for the standing ovation, seeing him search the crowd for someone he knew, I assumed his mum, but his eyes kept searching even after he found her.

‘He was amazing, wasn’t he?!’ Haley’s enthusiastic voice filled my ears, bringing me back to earth and out from under the spell Tom had put me in during the play.

‘I never doubted it for a second,’ I smiled back at her.

We joined Emma and Tom’s mum, Diana, for drinks at the bar after the show. Diana was beaming with pride, it warmed my heart to see how proud she was of her son and how supportive she was in his dream. 

I tried my best to engage in the small talk and answered all questions coming my way but my mind wasn’t really there, I was anxious to see him and I knew he would come out and meet us very soon.

We had seen each other only in passing during the last few months, it seemed to have become our MO to share an intimate moment and then get distracted by real life. And that life always managed to pull us away from each other, even to another country this time.

I noticed his blond curls first, peaking out above everyone else’s heads as usual. Diana laughed loudly when he pulled her into a hug and asked her nervously if he did okay. A bright relieved smile overtook his face when she started complimenting him and set his nerves at ease. He received the same reaction from his sister Emma, making him glow even more by the time he reached me and Haley.

‘You were amazing, Tom,’ Haley smiled into his hug,’ congratulations, you nailed it.’
‘Thank you, love, and thank you for coming,’ he broke the hug and turned around to face me.
His smile slowly faded as soon as his eyes met mine.

‘Emmy,’ his voice was so soft and the look on his face so serious it made me weak in the knees,’ you’re here…I thought…I…Em…’
The same guy who didn’t screw up a single line on that stage was now completely lost for words, it was so endearing I couldn’t help but smile at him.

‘Did you really think I would miss your debut?’ I then said, finally putting the smile back on his face.

‘I thought you were in Paris?’
‘I was,’ I answered,’ I am, but I came back for the weekend to see you.’

He stepped closer to me, putting his back towards his family and Haley, creating some privacy between us.
‘Was it worth it?’ he then asked softly.

I put my hands on his chest and looked into his eyes,’ most definitely, you were breathtaking out there. I know I’m biased but I’m sure everyone in here agrees with me, you were the star of the show, you were born to be on that stage. And I couldn’t be more proud of you.’

His warm smile was making me shiver and my hands were still resting on his chest, waiting for him to at least hug me but he wasn’t moving.

‘So yes, it was worth it,’ I added,’ you are worth it.’

His smile was gone again and he bit his lip and broke eye contact. For a moment I thought I had said too much and he would pull away but then he put his hands on my waist and slowly pulled me closer to him until our bodies touched. 

‘I was so disappointed when Haley told me you were in Paris, of all the people I wanted here tonight you…you were the one I needed, Em,’ he spoke quietly, his words only meant for me,’ I’ve missed you.’

‘I’ve missed you too,’ I put my arms around his neck and pulled him close, ignoring that his mother was right there next to us but Tom didn’t seem to care either. He tightened the hug and I could hear him smile against my ear.

‘I need to say hello to a few people,’ he then spoke softly,’ will you wait for me? Please? I’d really like us to talk.’

I stayed for another hour even after Diana, Emma and eventually Haley had left. I took a seat in a small booth close to the bar with my drink and waited for him to return. Part of me feared he wouldn’t show but a little after midnight he suddenly popped up next to me.

‘Are you saving that seat for someone special?’ he asked with that charming smile.
‘Well, I was, but it looks like he’s not coming so you might as well take it,’ I joked, making him let out a little chuckle.

I moved a little further down the bench to make room for him and his long legs.

‘I’m sorry it took so long,’ he gave me an apologetic smile,’ seems I know a lot more people than I realized.’
‘I know, it’s fine, ’ I smiled. His face was a little flushed, probably from all the wine, and his eyes looked tired. I’m sure tonight must have been stressful for him, even if he didn’t show it, but there was also a calm and a very content air hanging over him.

I looked up when I felt his hand rest on the small of my back.
‘Hey,’ he whispered, looking deeper into my eyes and giving me that stare he knew I couldn’t resist.
‘Hey, you,’ I spoke softly and put my hand on his knee, not allowing my eyes to look anywhere else but into his. 

We didn’t speak for a few minutes but he was inching closer to me and his hand was rubbing my back really softly and slowly. I was melting into his arms but I knew tonight was a dream and tomorrow would bring us both back to reality, a reality in which we were miles away from each other and in which nothing had changed.

As if he was reading my thoughts he carefully took my hand and gave it a soft comforting pinch,’ when do you have to be back in Paris?’

‘Tomorrow night.’

‘Then stay the night with me,’ he whispered and he leaned his forehead against mine,’ please.’

He put a soft kiss on my cheek and then brought his lips to mine, I didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. I didn’t need him to say anything else, his kisses and wandering hands were enough to show me he had missed me as much as I had missed him.

I forced myself to come up for air after a few minutes, his breath was heavy against my cheek and we both couldn’t help but giggle.

‘I’m sorry,’ he then said,’ I know things may have changed for you these past months but…they haven’t for me.’
Our eyes met again.
‘They haven’t for me either, Tom, but…’

He put his index finger on my lips, making me eat my words.

‘No buts,’ he pleaded.

‘But there are buts,’ I put my hand on his chest to keep his face at a distance and his lips away from mine,’ I leave again tomorrow, for another six months, I don’t think this is a good idea right now.’

He looked at me with a blank expression for a few seconds and then nodded his head.
‘I know you’re right, it’s a bad idea,’ he then said,’ but…I want you.’

‘I want you too,’ I sighed,’ but if I sleep with you…I’m only going to want you more tomorrow. And I don’t need that right now, I don’t need to miss you more than I already do, Tom.’

I expected him to try and kiss me again, convince me that one night wouldn’t hurt us and we should take advantage of the opportunity and just live for tonight but he didn’t do either of those things and part of me felt disappointed that he didn’t.

He just put both his arms around me and pulled me against his chest without saying another word, his hands stroking my back and my hair. We spent the rest of that night cuddling in the booth, I talked about my time at my internship in Paris and he talked about his preparation for the play.

It was morning by the time we said goodbye to each other, we shared one more long kiss outside of the bar and then both went our separate ways again.

We added another beautiful memory to a long list but it would still lead us nowhere. I got on the plane to Paris in tears the next day.



‘I…you…what?’ my voice was barely making any sound, all I could do was stare at him and try and convince myself I hadn’t just imagined him saying those last words.

‘I broke up with her two days ago,’ he repeated in a sigh as if he knew I needed to hear it again.
I stayed quiet.

‘I love Catherine,’ he then said,’ she is an extraordinary amazing woman.’
‘I get it,’ I sighed,’ she is, and you…’

‘Hear me out,’ he interrupted me quickly,’ she is pretty amazing but she’s not you, Em.’

He took another step closer and looked into my eyes,’ there’s no other you out there, believe me, I’ve looked.’

I shook my head in a little smile and he gave me a shy smile back while his hand came to rest on my hip.

‘So what do you want, Tom?’ I asked.

‘You,’ he spoke softly and he leaned his forehead against mine, making me shiver,’ I’ve always wanted you, ever since the first time you rejected me at that party. And even after every time you’ve rejected me since, I still want you, Em.’

I shook my head and put my hands on his shoulders to pull him closer,’ I only rejected you because I was so scared.’
‘Are you still?’ he asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

‘The only thing I’m scared of is losing you again,’ I confessed, putting a little smile of relief on his face while he nuzzled his nose against my cheek and woke up the butterflies in my stomach.

‘Am I dreaming this?’ I whispered.

He pulled back a little to look into my eyes and then leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine in a sweet soft kiss.
‘Did that feel like a dream?’ he asked while his thumb caressed my cheek.

‘Oh yeah, I’ve had this dream many times actually.’

His smile lit up his entire face and made him look even more gorgeous. But then his face changed into the most loving look I had ever seen from him, the softness in his eyes nearly broke my heart and he let out a deep sigh while he took my hand and spoke in a serious tone,’ Emmy, my darling…’

It was enough to trigger me and the tears started flowing.

 Tears for the love I had held back from him for all those years, and all those times my fear and doubt broke his heart.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I sobbed,’ I’m so, so sorry for what I did to us.’

He only shook his head, put his arms around my waist and held me tight against his chest.
I clung to his shoulders and let my tears run freely, whispering the same words over and over again into his ear,’ I love you, I love you, I love you.’

His hand cupped the back of my neck and brought my face in front of his while his lips found mine in a soft but longer kiss this time, stopping the tears from falling.

He broke our kiss for just a few seconds, just enough time to whisper the words back to me before his mouth was on mine again and I felt his tongue on my lips begging for entrance.

My arms were around his neck and I deepened our kiss, his body was already touching mine but I still needed him closer. 

I wanted to melt into him, let him know that I was his, completely his. All of me. There was no doubt this time, no new girlfriend to come between us, no sudden twist of fate that would pull us apart. I would never let that happen ever again.

I carefully pulled his shirt over his head while he guided me to the couch, I pushed him down and straddled him.

‘We don’t have to rush this,’ he whispered as he grabbed my neck again and forced me to look into his eyes,’ I mean it, if you want to take it slow…’ 

The words on his lips were a clear contradiction to the growing lust in his eyes.

‘I know,’ I gave him an encouraging smile,’ but I think we’ve wasted enough time, don’t you?’
He smiled and closed his eyes when I kissed him again. 

His hands found their way underneath my shirt and carefully pulled it up over my head and threw it on the ground next to us. 
His breath was getting heavier while his hands explored every inch of my naked back and shoulders. I could feel his fingers sinking into my skin and leaned my forehead against his so I could look into his eyes.

‘I don’t want us to waste a minute longer,’ I whispered and he pulled me down on his lap, every single touch of him was setting me more and more on fire. I wanted him, I needed him.

His hands sank down to my lower back and came to rest on my ass while he pushed his hips up from the couch and against my center, I could feel the bulge in his pants growing even through my jeans. I rolled my hips against him, making us both breathe a little louder and heavier.

There was no more time for patience and taking it slow, we had been taking it slow for way too long.

‘I want you,’ he whispered in my ear,’ God, I want you so bad, Em.’

We were grinding up against each other, both desperate for some kind of friction, he was biting his lip trying to fight back his moans but I didn’t want him to fight anymore.

I let my hand sink down between us to open his jeans, a soft moan on his lips when my hand slipped into his pants. His eyes closed as I started rubbing him slowly but firmly, his face was twisted between pleasure and sweet torture and after a while his eyes found mine again, his look suddenly focussed entirely on me and no longer on his own pleasure.

He lifted me off his lap and pushed me down on the couch, his hands unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them off my legs, quickly followed by my panties and him climbing on top of me.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered in a little embarrassed smile before he kissed me again, slowly and gently, a contradiction to how fast he got me out of my clothes,’ I don’t meant to rush you, but…’
‘Rush me, please, I beg of you,’ I pulled his pants lower and freed his erection. We both started panting when I felt him bump against my inner thigh.

‘I’ve been thinking about this every single day for the past years,’ my voice came out hoarse and filled with lust,’ believe me, this is not rushing.’

I spread my legs and put my arms around his neck to hold him close to me, letting my fingers caress the back of his neck while our eyes found each other again,’ I need you, Tom.’

I wish I remembered exactly what happened after that but my emotions took over.
I remember feeling complete with him inside me, how everything fell into place, his eyes that never left mine, him softly panting against my face with every thrust.

Him slowing down as soon as my eyes started to fill with tears again, tears of pure happiness this time. The overwhelming realisation that he was here, in my arms, that he was finally mine. 
The loving relieved look on his face when I convinced him everything was perfect, how we just kissed for several minutes before he moved in me again.

No more slowing down or hesitating, just me and him and how we fit, how we had always fit.

And how he lost the last bit of his control and bit my shoulder with a cry of pleasure as it washed over him, taking me with him in one perfect and long awaited moment. And the whispers of love into my ear long after as we lay awake in each other’s arms on Haley’s couch.


When I entered the kitchen the next morning I found Haley at the breakfast table, a big bright smile on her face when she watched me walk in.

‘Good morning,’ she said while she turned to me.
‘Good morning, I didn’t hear you come in last night?’

‘I wanted to give you guys time,’ she smiled over her cup of coffee and looked up at me with a hopeful look in her eyes,’ did it help?’

I was unable to hide the happy grin on my face as I nodded my head and sat down next to her at the kitchen counter.
‘He just left an hour ago,’ I said, making her smile even wider.

‘So I assume it went well?’

‘Yes,’ I grinned again and I covered up my face with my hands,’ good god, I can’t stop smiling.’
‘I’ve noticed, you seem annoyingly happy,’ she lifted her eye brow and poured me a cup of coffee.
‘I’m sorry,’ I shook my head,’ but yes, everything went well, really well, and he stayed the night.’

‘Was it as good as you remembered?’

‘We only did it once before, but god yes…so much better,’ I smiled,’ but that’s not the most important thing, it was just…having him here with me, you know. In my bed, in my arms, knowing there was no other place he needed to be, or wanted to be…god, Hales, I can’t even describe what I’m feeling right now.’
I could see her lift her eye brow again and I bit my lip.

‘Fine, I’ll shut up now.’

But before she could say anything I was talking again,’ It’s just…I think I’m about to wake up from a very beautiful dream any minute now, this feels like a perfect fairytale and those just don’t happen to me.’

She leaned over to pinch me in the arm,’ it’s happening, enjoy it.’

‘I am,’ I nodded my head and remembered Tom’s gorgeous face as he left earlier that morning, his messy morning hair and the taste of his kisses still on my lips as he waved me goodbye from down the street.

‘But please enjoy it in silence and wipe that smug happy smile off your face,’ she added.

I started apologizing again but she quickly put her hand on my shoulder and just shook her head.

‘I am deliriously happy for you two, okay,’ she then spoke more seriously,’ this was a long, looooong time coming.’
‘Tell me about it.’
‘So what happens now then?’ she then asked, a more serious look on her face,’ I mean, are you going back to America?’

I could hear a hint of hesitation when she asked the question.

‘You mean am I going to run away again now that I’ve got what I wanted?’ 

‘I wouldn’t put it that bluntly but yes.’

‘I don’t blame you for putting it that bluntly,’ I sighed and I looked into her eyes,’ but no, I guess I’m…coming back to London to stay.’

The relieved smile on her face comforted me,’ I’m glad to hear it.’

‘Which brings me to another issue, I know you’re probably sick of me but is there any chance I could stay here for just a little bit longer? Just until I get settled.’
‘Don’t even mention it,’ she smiled,’ this flat will always be your home, Em. Stay as long as you like.’
‘You’re a life saver, honestly, you are, I probably would have gone back to Boston if it hadn’t been for you.’

‘You wouldn’t have, I’m sure of it, I just told you what you already knew you should be doing and calmed you down when you were losing hope. You would have done it by yourself either way, it just would have been…messier and even more dramatic probably.’

We both laughed.

‘Probably,’ I then smiled,’ but thank you anyway.’

‘So, what else can I do now?’ she then asked.

‘You’ve done more than enough, but well, I am in desperate need of a job…’


Tom carried my suitcase across the platform of St Pancras station, he had grabbed my hand as soon as we got off the tube and hadn’t let go since.

There were no words to describe how amazing it felt to walk alongside him, not having to hide my affection for him or feel sad because he would go home to another woman soon.

This time I was her, the woman he would return home to, the luckiest woman on the planet.

I still needed Haley to pinch me.

But before my life with him could really start there were a few things I needed to put in order in Boston.

‘So, how long?’ he asked.
‘Three days, four tops, just until I have all my things in order,’ I put my arm around his neck and felt both his arms snake around my waist.
His eyes found mine and I noticed the worry in them straight away, even though he tried his best to hide it with a smile.

‘I’ll call you every day,’ I said,’ or not if you don’t want that, I don’t want to be the clingy girlfriend that smothers you.’
He just smiled and brought his face closer to mine,’ that’s quite alright, smother me.’
He pressed his lips on mine in a featherlight kiss. It was enough to make me weak and I pulled him closer, burying my face into the crook of his neck to take up his smell and linger into his hug.

I could hear him let out a deep breath before he spoke,’ just so you know, if you don’t come back this time I am coming after you.’

His voice was soft but there was no hesitation in his words and I knew he meant it.
‘I’m coming back’, I told him and I broke the hug to be able to look into his eyes and convince him there was no doubt in my words either,’ I’m coming back, Tom.’

‘Good,’ he smiled and kissed me again, a longer one this time that had us both out of breath and made me cling to his shoulders for support.

‘I should get on the train before it leaves without me,’ I sighed. 
He nodded his head and gave me an encouraging smile.

‘Oh, I almost forgot,’ he then said, stepping back a little bit but still keeping his hands on my waist while he spoke,’ I had an audition yesterday.’
The look of surprise on my face made him laugh.

‘An audition? I didn’t know you still did those?’
‘I didn’t,’ he spoke more seriously now,’ well, I hadn’t until…it’s with that company you took me to see. I checked up on them after the show and their website said they held auditions this week so I thought…why not?’
‘And? How did it go?’

‘They called me this morning to tell me I got the part.’
The little proud smile on his face melted my heart and I pulled him into another hug.

‘That’s fucking amazing,’ I smiled,’ I’m so proud of you for doing this.’
‘It’s not a lead or anything,’ he quickly added,’ but I thought that maybe I could take it up again and see where it goes.’

‘Where did this come from?’ I asked.

‘From you,’ he said softly and he leaned his forehead against mine,’ you made me realize there were things I’ve been missing. You reminded me that sometimes it’s okay to not give up on a dream, to want things you thought weren’t meant for you. Sometimes those dreams are what makes life worthwhile.’

I couldn’t form any words while I heard him speak and the tears welled up in my eyes.

‘You woke up a passion in me I thought I lost forever, Em,’ he continued,’ I had it locked away so deep these past years because…’
As I stared into his eyes I could see he was struggling to fight back his own tears.

‘Are you talking about acting or me now?’ I asked softly.
‘Both,’ he gave me a little smile,’ I had to step back from the two things I loved the most because they were filled with so much pain and disappointment and regret, it was easier to just leave it all in the past and move on.’

He cupped my face with his hands and the smile returned to his face.
‘But I never have,’ he whispered,’ I couldn’t move on from you because I didn’t really want to. Seeing you again after all that time…being able to talk to you again, to have you close to me, to hug you…you have no idea what that did to me.’
‘I think I can imagine,’ I leaned into him and smiled and then he put his arms around my neck and stared deep into my eyes.

‘I am never, ever, letting you go again, I love you, my darling Emmy.’
‘I love you,’ I whispered.

We stood in silence for a while, clinging to each other and staring into each other’s eyes like two annoyed teenagers who were in love for the very first time.

‘You should get on,’ he then sighed.
‘I know,’ I was still holding onto him when he put my suitcase on the train and me with it.

‘Three days,’ I sighed,’ I won’t need more.’
‘I’ll be right here waiting,’ he smiled and he leaned in closer to plant another soft kiss on my lips,’ now go.’

I finally brought myself to let go of him and managed to find a spot by the window, I sank into the seat and heard the doors close as soon as I sat down.

Tom was standing on the platform, he walked closer to my window so he could keep his eyes on me while the train started moving. I watched him put his hands in his pockets while he gave me warm smile and walked with me for a while, the sadness in his eyes was unmistakeable as he watched the train carry me away from him.

I could see him mouth the words ‘I’ll miss you’ and I watched him grow smaller and smaller, the last image was him blowing a kiss at me.

The tears were streaming down my face, I was unable to stop them. Going to America was the last thing I wanted right now but I had to, there were things I couldn’t just leave unfinished like that.

Most of it was paperwork and picking up some of my stuff and make arrangements to send over the rest, but most importantly I wanted to see my mother and tell her in person that I was moving back to London. I knew she would be devastated and insanely happy for me at the same time.

By the time we arrived in Heathrow my tears had dried, I knew what I had to do and it was like a sudden calm fell over me. 

I was finally starting the life I had wanted for so long and I was ready for it this time. There was none of the usual worry or panic, no commitment issues or any doubt in my heart. The past didn’t matter anymore, all I could think of was coming home to him, feeling his arms around me and see that warm smile that still made my heart jump even after all those years.

There never had been anyone else for me and there never would be. He was my past and my future, and my heart had always known it.

I loved him first, I’ll love him always.

anonymous asked:

Mcspirk... dancer au? Bones as a grumpy older choreographer who is SUPER nitpicky about the performance pieces and not at all happy to have a young ballet school dropout kirk, on his company?

  • So they’re all different types of dancers, right. Like Bones would be probably more of a contemporary dancer? But he knows pretty much everything that’s not street/hip hop etc. They have Jaylah for that. (I know nothing about dancing forgive me in advance). And he owns this studio in Manhattan with a few different rooms. Spock is co-owner, mostly in charge of administration, but he teaches these old-fashioned type of dances like Charleston etc. that initially doesn’t seem like his thing at all, but he aces it. 
  • And Spock tells Bones he hires someone new to lead the ballet classes whilst Uhura is on maternity leave. Bones is initially just like how bad could it be because it’s only temporarily and there are plenty of professional dancers in Manhattan. Instead, Spock hires this quirky guy, who doesn’t follow the traditional rules of ballet and encourages the students even when they are doing it wrong. And Bones finds out when he’s reading Jim’s resume that he never even completed school. “Why is he hired?” Bones asks, towering over Spock as the other sits on the floor to stretch his arms and his legs for an upcoming class. “He’s good,” Spock points out. “His class feels comfortable around him. You could learn a thing or two from that.” Bones grits his teeth at that answer, and just makes sure to give his own pupils hell. 
  • Bones has to leave for a few days to give lectures in a university and when he returns Spock and Jim are just siting together closely, eating their lunch together and Spock is even laughing at something Jim says and that’s just bizarre. Maybe Bones is a little jealous.
  • And his ratings go up because Jim is so well liked for some reason, but he doesn’t stick to the rules. Bones teaches him a new performance but Jim likes to give his own swing to it and Bones grits his teeth. “That’s not how it goes,” he just says, watching Jim effortlessly stand on his toes and twirl around. Jim rests his hands on Bones’ shoulders, and Bones tries not to look flustered. “Relax, Bones. It’ll be fine. Dancing is about letting go a little bit, remember? I think you’re just a little tensed.” “I just like my performance pieces to be done well. So do it well.” Bones replies. 
  • Spock taking Bones out to an actual play, because it’s been a while. And they dress up nice in suits and have a fancy dinner first, and Spock listens to Bones talking obsessively about their newest recruit. “Sounds like you’re pulling pigtails, kind of,” Spock says, and Bones snorts. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
  • Spock actually takes Bones to one of Jim’s dance performances. Initially, Bones is like are you kidding me Spock, but Jim is actually really good. And he doesn’t stick to the rules and he doesn’t perform the way Bones - or many others - would expect him to do, but it’s somehow even more beautiful that way. Bones won’t admit it, but he’s definitely a little emotional afterwards. “How bad was that?” Spock asks afterwards, and Bones only answers: “Terrible.” But Spock smiles because he knows it’s not true. 
  • So Bones warms up to Jim a little bit, and Jim teaches him “how to break rules beautifully” because apparently that’s an art form and Jim is currently a master in it, so so he says himself. His own students notice Bones warming up a little too, and they’re more chatty, just slightly less intimidated, and maybe even twice as appreciative as they were before. 
  • So when Uhura comes back and Jim’s contract is coming to an end, Bones walks up to him on his last day. “What are you going to do after this?” he asks, and Jim shrugs. “I guess, maybe back to school.” He replies, swinging his bag over his shoulder. “I love teaching, but you guys were pretty much the only ones hiring me despite being under-qualified.” “You’re not underqualified,” Bones says, clearing his throat and glancing in Spock’s direction as he approaches them, too. “Listen, kid, I’m sorry I was an ass to you for most of your stay here.” Bones says, and Jim smiles, patting Bones’ shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, old man.” “What did you just call me, you little s-” “What Leonard is trying to tell you,” Spock interrupts, “is that we would like to offer you a permanent position here with us.” Jim looks shocked, eyeing Bones carefully to make sure if this is a joke or not. “Are you sure?” Jim asks. “I guess,” Bones replies. And when Jim jumps into their arms, arms swinging around both their shoulders as he hugs them close, Bones realizes that, yes, he’s very sure. 
Reign 3x10: A Bloody Business

Last night’s Reign opened with a pair of bloody hands!

Queen Elizabeth was bloodying up her sheets before the maid came in and the maid did not look like she appreciated it. What a prank!

Okay no Elizabeth was not pranking her laundress by spilling her diva cup all over the sheets, but hiding her pregnancy by faking a period.

Also Lola had arrived in England, and looking styling. Finally a member of the core cast is at English court! Despite Lola’s hopes that she would be able to trade herself for the release of her family, that was not the plan.

Rather, Lola’s family would remain in captivity while she hung out with Queen Elizabeth at court as a “guest.” Lola tried to shout her way out of the situation and guilt trip Elizabeth for holding her hostage and breaking their deal, but unlike Queen Mary, Elizabeth gives no fucks about a guilt trip. Instead William was like “Hey, you want to get moved to the crawlspace? Keep pushing it.”

Mary, meanwhile, was desperate to remain at French court while she looks for a husband because real talk she has run out of options and it’s hard to convince Kings that you’re a powerful ruler staying in the Fantasy Suite of Greer’s tavern.

Narcisse strolled in and threw a lot of shade about French soldiers returning from wars on her behalf needing to get paid. To get that money, Narcisse wanted to marry off Claude ASAP to the richest bidder, luckily one had recently put forward an offer: Duke Bonnell!

Meanwhile Greer approached Mary with some letters to from Elizabeth to Gideon she’d intercepted and deciphered. Greer is essentially the head of the Scottish CIA right now in addition to serving up pints of delicious butterbeer at her cozy ass tavern. But also from these letters Mary learned part of Gideon’s mission was to SEDUCE her!

So she confronted him about this sexy side-mission while he was beating the shit out of a flour bag.

Mary had a cunning plan: how about he actually DOES SEDUCE her?! Or at least, they would pretend to be in love in front of his fellow spy, Jeffrey. Then Gideon could get his daughter freed, have a ton of cred with Elizabeth, and Mary would have her rival in the dark about her motives and huge leverage over the spy working in her service.

Also what else does she have to do in this lonely ass castle where Narcisse is in charge and has gone so power-mad he rounds up the entire royal family for elaborate, impromptu accusations ?

Narcisse and Charles also announced that Duke Bonnell’s gold bridal payment had gone missing, so Claude would be getting married at the earliest possible convenience to this dude, without any input from Catherine. Then he snidely accused Mary and Catherine of being in alliance with each other against him. It’s one of the first times someone outside of Queen’s Club openly acknowledged Queen’s Club and while Mary rolled her eyes and pretended she didn’t know what he was talking about there is very much a Queen’s Club and clearly it was time for an emergency meeting. Catherinea and Mary were both smdh about the King of France getting all Dicks Before Sis and selling off Claude.

Claude was not happy about any of this either I might add.

Beatuiful embroidery on that veil…oh wait, let me digitally enhance…

Yeah Claude was not pleased, though her wedding dress is one of the most gorgeous gowns I’ve seen on Reign and consequently in the world.

Her long, piercing stare at Leith as she road away with her new gross husband was genuinely cinematic.

This episode was directed by Megan Follows aka Queen Catherine and there were several moments like this that were so thoughtfully composed and gave so much space for the actor’s performance to develop and heighten the emotional moments, just amazing job by Megan, she’s a legend in front of the camera and maybe she’s poised to become a legend behind the camera as well.

Also Robin was where Elizabeth was getting her fake period blood.

Robin, where are you getting all this pig’s blood? You know what don’t answer. You know your boyfriend is a real one when you can turn to him for period stuff, like buying you tampons or mysteriously acquiring fresh pig’s blood. Robin was like “this is the last batch, after this we really can’t risk being seen together because I’m suspected of murder and also am about to possibly go on trial for murder if a tribunal says so, so, that’s awkard.” and Elizabeth was like “Ugh I really don’t want to marry someone else and raise your baby with a stranger but that’s what I’m doing I guess.” I mean, these two, have they had even one happy moment together? Poor darlings.

Meanwhile Greer’s sexy pirate lover turned up at her tavern and offered to send her child support (in the form of chests of treasure? Sounds pretty sweet.) Greer rebuffed him, telling him she was looking into an open adoption, though we’d come to find out the situation is sort of less than ideal: her sister and her sister’s husband would raise her baby in a home Greer would pay for, and Greer would get to visit and have to put up with her brother-in-laws twattiness.There was a red flag right away that this shituation was going to be rife with saltiness when her sister was like “Seems like we’re all paying for your mistakes”

I was like…

Greer was like “Um…as in I’ll be paying for your rent? For life? WTF are you talking about?!” Greer, take the pirate money and run!

Meanwhile Mary was trying to stage a fake date with Gideon for Jeffrey’s benefit, and she was pulling it off with all the swagger of a nerdy teen from an 80’s sex romp. There were no candles at the dinner table! And then it started raining!

Mary fled back into the castle crying “BRING THE WINE!” which, relatable, and then Gideon stumbled onto a pillow literally bursting with gold.

The stolen gold from Duke Bonnell had been planted on Mary! And Mary planted one on Gideon.

Then they kissed again to make sure Jeffrey knew they meant it, and then after the second kiss Mary immediately she pulled away and was like “Well, mission accomplished, off you go, see you never!” and Gideon was adorably flustered.  Jeffrey wasn’t the only one watching they convinced guys. Do you ship it yet? I cannot deny the Ledgeriness, personally, 9/10 would recommend, PRIME shipping imho.

Less adorable: Claude’s first interaction with her new husband, which included a pop in the face. Claude responded by breaking out all her self defense skills like a badass while screaming “THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT THE ROYAL BLOOD OF FRANCE!” and then screaming “I’M A PRINCESS!!!” as she fled the scene. The emotion in Claude’s voice and the commitment of her physical performance was genuinely exceptional.

As someone who takes self defense classes and is learning to perfect my eye jab, charlie horses and throat punches, I will say that I thoroughly recommend them to anyone interested in moving through the world confidently, and I will certainly consider shouting “THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT THE ROYAL BLOOD OF FRANCE!” when I’m practicing, or when someone invades my personal space on the bus, or if McDonald’s fails to include two BBQ sauce packets the next time I treat myself to some mcnuggs.

Real talk though self defense classes: FUN. Good exercise! And worth it!

Back at French court, Mary confronted Catherine about hiding the gold in her room. Catherine was like okay yes I planted it in your room, my back was against the wall, Mary was like that is a CLEAR violation of Queen’s Club rules, but she let it slide for once, because when Narcisse questioned her about it later (and tore her room apart looking for it) she did not snitch. Even if Narcisse did try to scare her with the disembodied hand of Timothy.

Narcisse also told her to get packing, because he was done with her taking up one suite and half a balcony at Court. Class act, evicting a royal widow, well done.

Meanwhile in England someone added something to the tea.

And moments later Elizabeth was finding a private place to miscarry. Girrrrrrl. Oh man. Elizabeth never gets a moment of happiness, does she?  Robin turned up with the disheartening news that the tribunal had declared him basically “not proven” in the murder of his wife. He wasn’t fully exonerated but he wasn’t going through a trial. Bad times, because now he’s forever associated with scandal and Elizabeth’s major claim to the throne rests on the popular support of their subjects. If she marries the guy they don’t ship her with, she’s dunzo.

Of course now she doesn’t have to rush to marry, but also she’s lost the child of the man she loves in the most painful way possible and it’s just been a 24 hour period of non stop body horror. How many bodily fluids does one Queen have to deal with? It’s been a lot, and then William had the nerve to blame the poisoning on Lola. But Elizabeth wasn’t buying it. She knew the Tudor Family fandom was just trying to bully her out of her OTP with Dudley.

“The English Did This To Me” is something I want on a t-shirt and a mug. The amount of feels I have endured over the years due to English period films, mini series and BBC dramas has almost destroyed me. Jane Eyre alone almost broke my mind at age 13. The English did this to all of us, with their moody landscapes and class struggles and proud history of emotionally rich literature, damn it!

Back au France, Bash had picked up Claude off the roads, hitch-hiking to Paris, and brought her and her extremely bruised face back to court.

The bad news: Claude had had a rough night. The good news: she was back in Leith’s arms, he vowed to rise in station until they could marry, and a furious Charles demanded Narcisse be voted out of power as Regent and Catherine elected instead!

Queen’s Club was back on top, and Ctaherine told Mary to stop packing her bags, she could hang as long as she wanted! Everything had worked out for the best, until, PLOT TWIST!

Catherine had set up Claude to get punched in the face so Charles would turn on Narcisse and Catherine would be back in power. I guess once you get used to manipulating your powerful children through pure savage cunning its pretty hard to stop, but also she had effectively saved them. Claude’s fist fight with her husband had saved her from an actual arranged marriage and secured her freedom, Narcisse has proved a power-hungry baddie in the past, if Charles has to be under the thumb of a power-hungry baddie it might as well be his mother.

Finally, when Mary brought Gideon word that his daughter was coming to visit, he got a little too happy, spilled a drink on himself and kissed her.

Gideon had gotten lost in the sauce of their staged date and let himself believe the love was real, but Mary straight-armed him: No way bro. Nope. Nope nope no.

Does the lady protest too much? Is Mary secretly feeling it? You tell me.

We have I think a bit of a break coming up after this episode…but I will be tweeting links to Reign news as I see it. And I am always down to talk about Tudor-era Europe and Mary Queen of Scots and Anne Boleyn at all times of the day or night. HMU!!! And thank you for reading!!!

anonymous asked:

Tony X Reader please

  • Who made the first move? Tony enjoys the thought of it being him who made the first move, but it really was you, shockingly enough. You had already known Tony long enough by the time you’d asked. You knew how on the edge he’s been, and especially since his separation from Pepper. However, you weren’t as straight-forward as one would assume. It only started with a suggestion to go out for lunch. To your surprise, he accepted it.
  • Who said “I love you” first? You did. It had been one of those moments; those moments where his incoherent rambling drowned out into a seemingly hopeless silence. He’d shut his eyes, leaning against the countertop in the kitchen, shaking his bowed head. With a tug in your chest, you took a step toward him, wrapping your arms around his middle and tucking your chin under the crook of his neck. “I love you, you know,” you murmured against his skin. He let out a sigh of what you knew was relief, returning your embrace and burying his face in your hair.
  • How often do they fight? Although you avidly attempt to avoid any sort of argument on a regular basis, you can’t deny its imminence. But just as it always ends up happening, it always ends up faltering. All reasons behind the fight are near immediately forgotten when Tony apologizes, when you either accept it or assure him he’s got nothing to be sorry for, and when he presses a kiss to your forehead.
  • Who’s big spoon/little spoon? It’s switches between the two of you. More often than most nights, however, you’re the big spoon, mostly because you’ve always felt an obligation to stay by him. He never does object to it.
  • What their nicknames are for each other? Tony has always been known for his cheesy, ironic, and very clever nicknames for the people surrounding him. Strangely enough, he doesn’t have one for you; other than a shortened version of your first name and the occasional “honey,” you’re Y/N to him. You gladly return the favour.
  • Who’s the better cook? Both of you are on an equal medium in cooking skills. Though your cooked meals aren’t exactly comparable to something you’d get in a fancy restaurant, they’re not horrible. Tony has made numerous efforts to make you breakfast, lunch, brunch, or dinner, and they haven’t exactly been superb, either. But they were definitely good.
  • Their song? “The Sea of Love” by the Honeydrippers. He heard you humming to it when he played it on the stereo long before you’d made your move on him and has seen you half-drunkenly perform it one night during karaoke at one of his celebratory shindigs at the Tower. A few dates after your first, he had FRIDAY play it according a scheduled timing; he watched your eyes light up and a smile spread across your lips.
  • Who remembers their anniversaries? Tony does. His plans aren’t too insanely extravagant: flowers, wine, dinner, a piece of jewelry. To you, it’s absolutely perfect.
  • Their favourite thing to do together (besides sex)? Tony is a chatty person. You’re more of a listener. Neither of you mind the clashing traits, though, because whether he’s working in the lab and you’re sitting on the countertop or he’s mindlessly fiddling with your hair while you’re sprawled on the couch, you’re always there to listen to what he has to say. When you do decide to speak up, though, it’s to (non)jokingly tell him “Tony, no. Just no.”
  • Who “wears the pants” in the relationship? The both of you absolutely detest that phrase, because neither of you put more effort into your relationship than the other. It’s a team effort. It’s always been that way.
  • How they would get engaged? Tony would pop the question out of the blue one day. You’d be too stunned to have even heard it properly, so he shrugs it off until he’s got the whole thing planned. However, because it is Tony Stark, things go rather awry and you both end up on the rooftop of some building in the city. You’re out of breath; he’s rather dishevelled with his helmet strewn off somewhere in the vicinity. He asks you after you’ve calmed, and once again you ask “What?” “Wait,” he’d say before he steps out of the Iron Man suit. He then gets down on one knee, wincing slightly as he pulls the ring from his pocket. He clears his throat. “Marry me, Y/N,” he tells you, his brown eyes wide and earnest. “I get that this is the wrong place, and it was supposed to be the right time, but marry me and make the mess of me feel like less of a mess.” You’re immediately speechless, so you answer him with a kiss to his lips and pull him back onto his feet. “You’re my mess,” you tell him. “And of course I’ll marry you.”
  • What their wedding would be like? Private and yet public. The press had already thrown around rumours about the engagement before the engagement even happened. Hell, there were rumours about a baby before the engagement even happened. However, the wedding date was unspecified to them and was only specified the people that were invited. It’s a lavish and beautiful ceremony,  and despite the tension with the accords and such, it’s complete with the Avengers. A happy night.
  • How many kids they’ll have? The topic is never truly entirely brought up until you showed the symptoms and take the test — which, of course, reads positive. You are suddenly very shaken, unsure of how to break the news to Tony, knowing his relationship with his father and his lack of surety. “I can barely handle myself,” you’d suppose he’d say. But you drop hints, eventually questioning him about it one day. He becomes suspicious after answering a few questions of yours (”At least one. Two, maybe… Wait.”) When you give him a tentative smile and nod, he lets out a short breathy laugh, breaks into a smile, and throws his arms around you.
Kismet (Chanyeol, Baekhyun) Scenario
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A collaboration with two of my best spazzmates seoulbeat14 and riksirixa <3 We actually brainstormed together… Steph wrote the first half while I wrote the second half ;) (haha I know it will be obvious on who wrote which. If you’ve read my works you’ll know….)

We did this a few months ago and I just wanted to share it here (while you wait for After All part 6 ;P) 

This is my first time writing a member x member fanic (it was a fun and spazz-ful experience) :D and Chanbaek is my OTP in EXO so…enjoy~ :P

Baekhyun was in college when he had his first encounter with Mr. Perfect. It was his first year and as a new student in the university, he was lost on his way to his first class as he was looking around the hallways. Carrying several books for his classes, he didn’t see that slippery area along the hallway and had almost slipped when a hand grabbed him by the hem of his shirt before he made his fall. 

“Easy there little guy, you almost tripped. Are you alright?” Baekhyun, who was fixing his shirt and had his books held onto his chest, turned around at the deep, soothing voice. He was quite surprised when he saw a tall, not to mention good-looking, young man standing in front of him with concern etched on his face. Baekhyun couldn’t find himself to answer the guy. He was simply mesmerized. He tried to breathe and regain his composure.

“Uhh…Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” He smiled shyly as he replied.

“You must be new here.” The tall guy said, smiling at Baekhyun. “I’m Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol.” He offered his hand for a handshake and Baekhyun gladly took it.

“I’m Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun. And yes I’m actually new here and I kinda got lost since I’m not that really of a map person and I’m just trying to look for my first class and well since I ended up here and almost tripped, which I’m so sorry that I wasn’t even looking–“

Baekhyun was completely blabbering; not he understanding if he’s just nervous or embarrassed that he probably looked like a lost puppy to this handsome guy.  He felt his cheeks turning pink when he heard a chuckle. He looked at Chanyeol and saw that blinding smile again.

“Well I guess it’s your lucky day, then. Come on, I’ll be your tour guide.” Chanyeol said happily showing his way to start the tour.

“T-Thank y-you.” Baekhyun stuttered as he followed Chanyeol.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol talked about random things during their tour. It was like they’ve known each other ever since. The Byun Baekhyun who was shy and who kept on stuttering from the start now adjusted to Chanyeol’s company. The feeling Baekhyun felt was different. It was strange but good. He can’t even explain it. Every time Chanyeol says something, Baekhyun couldn’t help but stare and just be entranced by the way Chanyeol was talking. The way Chanyeol does his hand-gestures when he’s feeling giddy, the way he smiles when he’s looking at Baekhyun, the way he puts effort on holding Baekhyun’s hand when he thought that his small friend could get lost again made Baekhyun slightly attracted to him.  He was surprised though when he felt Chanyeol grabbing his hand again. And for the nth time, Baekhyun felt like he’s going to explode judging by the redness of his face.

A bunch of talks and exchange of laughter with a certain Park Chanyeol was indeed worth it in Baekhyun’s time. Baekhyun forgot that he had classes that morning as he was so immersed with the conversation he was having with him. Time went by so fast and eventually led them to their last section of their tour.

“Now this is our final stop.” Chanyeol said when he halted at the front door of the auditorium.

“Chanyeol, it says that student’s aren’t allowed to enter unless there’s a performance or practice being held in this place.” Baekhyun pointed at the sign posted on the wall near the entrance as he looked back at him.

But before Baekhyun could even protest, he was yet again pulled on his wrist when Chanyeol opened the door unattended.

Baekhyun’s eyes widened.

Their school’s auditorium was huge and fascinating. There were sloped floors with level terraces for each row of seating and there were fixed seats arranged accordingly to match the occupant’s view of the stage. He went up on stage when the lights turned on, only to be flashed by the main spot light.

“You need to get used to this.” Chanyeol said as he got out from the backstage.

“How did you–” Baekhyun wondered, still confused.

“I just saw your books and your music sheets with you. I’m guessing you’re taking up Music & Arts course?” Chanyeol grinned while pointing at Baekhyun’s things.

“Well music is part…but I’m taking up Performing Arts to be exact.” Baekhyun replied.

“Do you sing?” Chanyeol asked.

Baekhyun nodded shyly. He took up his course because he had been dreaming of performing on stage. He wanted to let his voice out and just do the things that would make him happy and singing on stage was one of them.

“I’ll be seeing you around then.” Chanyeol said when he looked at Baekhyun.

“Wait…what are you…?”

Chanyeol walked towards him and held out his hand.

“What?” Baekhyun asked slightly confused with Chanyeol’s act.

“Give me your phone.”

Baekhyun couldn’t comprehend what just happened when he gave out his phone and saw Chanyeol adding his own number.

“Call me just in case.” Chanyeol handed him his phone back.

Just in case of what? Baekhyun thought.

“Just in case you might get lost again.” Chanyeol said, flashing him a grin as if he just read his mind. “And I think I might get to work with you, just so you know.” He added.

Baekhyun just nodded, still confused as to what Chanyeol said. He wanted to ask him but the moment Chanyeol looked at his watch signaled him that they got no time for another chat. He’s got a feeling though that he would be seeing Chanyeol more often even after this day and never he had been this excited.

“We should probably get going since you and I still have classes. And since it’s break time, we could eat lunch together.”

Baekhyun couldn’t believe what was happening. First, Chanyeol willingly gave him a tour then they exchanged numbers, and now he’s going to have lunch with him. Is this some sort of a sign? Baekhyun asked himself.

The both of them soon headed out.

Baekhyun then realized that he wouldn’t mind missing his morning classes, as long as he gets to spend it with Chanyeol.

Everything would be worth it for him.


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