worth it? - wonwoo
“Is this worth it?” A question that you never wanted to pass your lips yet something you knew would one day cloud your thoughts from the second you got involved. Your first encounter with Wonwoo wasn’t one that you thought would lead to anything spectacular. Wonwoo had just turned 17 and he had this awful mess of fluffy hair completely covering his forehead and basically the entirety of his eyes, something you noted reminded you of one of those mountain rescue dogs. Yourself on the other hand were still in that stage of trying to ‘find yourself’ and were experimenting with some *questionable* style choices (ripped leggings were not a great look in hindsight). He’d had a copy of one of your favourite books in his hand, judging by the bulge of pages he was about a third of the way through; you struck up conversation hoping he’d liked the plot as much as you did but he apparently was not a fan and this kind of fake argument arose and it was… strange. This feeling of clicking with someone so quickly that you’d never met, it was that one argument that formed a friendship. He was busy, a lot, and he didn’t disclose to you why for a year or so but you weren’t that bothered with his lack of presence – when he was there everything kind of just lit up? He felt the same of course, you were a welcomed break from the hours in the garish, green basement looking room with a bunch of loud boys (of whom he adored all the same).
The day he told you he was training everything shifted. He was still the same in most aspects, happy, cheerful – a little reserved to some extent but confident in himself, always managed to make you smile but you saw this other side. This cool exterior played host to a softer, more ‘dorkier’ him who loved to play around but didn’t try too hard to hide any sensitive emotions from you nad that’s what made your feelings move from platonic to romantic. Wonwoo had this effect on you, you could have been having the worst day and the second he appeared everything just dropped, he didn’t even have to be near, the thought of him, nose crinkling as you teased him, fists wrapping round his sleeves to form sweater paws, the *soft* wonwoo made you happy and he wouldn’t tell you for a long time but you’d been a source of stability and comfort for a boy quite far from home.
Debut day, absolutely caked in eyeshadow wonwoo sent you a selfie and a couple of excited emojis following but you could tell he was nervous. You were proud, after all the tears and the deep 3am conversations you had exchanged all of his work was coming to this and yet there was this tang of sadness after you congratulated him. Things were going to get distant. He wasn’t just a trainee anymore he was becoming an idol and idols have responsibilities and hanging out with you wasn’t up there anymore. It took less than a week for one of you to bring it up into conversation and neither of you could remember who it was, it was more of a mutual thing. You said you were scared and he responded with something along the lines of there’s nothing to be scared of, once the makeup comes off and I’m back at the dorm I’ll be the same person, which provided a little bit of comfort – to which you replied with but you won’t be that wonwoo and he said: but I can still be yours. In your entire friendship you bet you’d never seen Jeon Wonwoo move just as quick as he did that very night. He made the pretty long journey to your apartment and was knocking at your door, within a millisecond of you opening it his lips spread into a huge smile and he wrapped his arms around you so tight you thought you were going to burst. That was the time of your very first kiss and life had never seemed so fitting.
Sure. At the beginning it was hard and he couldn’t see you that much and everything had to be so damn discreet and he’d switched your name to a guys name in his phone and you spoke in essentially code but it was fun. Then things took off and you were immensely proud of him but as adore u happened, mansae, pretty u, nice and now boom boom; you were beginning to feel like a nuisance. He assured you that you weren’t but all of this sneaking around was beginning to tire him out and you were getting upset seeing him so exasperated.
That’s how you found yourselves, feet dangling over the edge of a wall at a playground at 4:50am, both of you in your pyjamas and you asked that question. Wonwoo mulled over it for a bit, your eyes searched the area, you didn’t want to lose him – even if it meant being named “jonghyun” in his phone for the rest of eternity. His sigh filled the air, head lifting and chin tipping back as he shut his eyes. “I’m happiest with you.” Your body froze, a warming sensation – like when you take some medicine and it kinda just warms your entire body, that feeling filled you up and you’d pay a million dollars to experience it again. His arm hooked around your shoulder, fingertips curling around your arm as he pulled you into him, your head resting against his shoulder; his smell of clean laundry surrounding you as he squeezed you tight, his cheek pressed against the top of your head. “I am happiest with you, sneakiness, chats at 3am and all.”