and it's too late to eat

tELL PEOPLE HOW YOU FEEL BEFORE ITS TOO LATE I AM BEGGING YOU. UNSAID FEELINGS ARE THE FUCKIN WORST AND THEY WILL KILL YOU, COMPLETELY EAT YOU UP INSIDE AND MAKE YOU ROT AWAY. YOU GOTTA TELL PEOPLE HOW YOU FEEL, RIGHT NOW, RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENS. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM, TELL THEM YOU WANNA MAKE THEM HAPPY, TELL THEM YOU MISS THEM, TELL THEM YOU DONT LIKE HOW THEY TREAT YOU, TELL THEM YOU FEEL SAD AND NEED HELP. PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU SAY EVEN IF IT HURTS A LITTLE AT FIRST. HONESTY IS REAL AND BEAUTIFUL AND FEELINGS THAT ARE SAID AND ACKNOWLEDGED EVEN IF THEYRE UNREQUITED ARE FUCKING RAW AND BEAUTIFUL AND HEY, AT LEAST YOU GOT IT OFF YOUR CHEST. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE HONEST WITH HOW YOU FEEL. LIFE IS FAR TOO SHORT TO HIDE BEHIND THE FEAR OF SOMEONE BEING MAD OR NOT FEELING THE SAME WAY. I PROMISE YOU. LIFE IS NOTHING WITHOUT THE SMALL RISKS OF SAYING HOW YOU FEEL. SO GO DO IT. SAY IT. I PROMISE ITLL BE WORTH IT. YOULL SEE.

Signs As Uncommon Words
  • Aries: resfeber- (n.) thrill felt before an adventure
  • Taurus: accubation- (n.) the act of eating or drinking while laying down
  • Gemini: trepverter- (n.) a witty response or comeback you think of only after it's too late to use
  • Cancer: selcouth- (adj.) unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet wonderful
  • Leo: ensorcell- (v.) to enchant or fascinate someone
  • Virgo: vellichor- (n.) the strange wistfulness of used bookshops
  • Libra: apricity- (n.) the warmth of the sun in wintertime
  • Scorpio: quidnunc- (n.) someone who always wants to know what's going on
  • Sagittarius: balter- (v.) to dance artlessly but with enjoyment
  • Capricorn: psithurism- (n.) the sound of wind rustling leaves
  • Aquarius: astral- (adj.) of or relating to the stars
  • Pisces: abderian- (adj.) given to idiotic or incessant laughter
Pro Ana Tips

Pro Ana Tips

  1. RULES, RULES, RULES. This is important. You need to set rules for yourself, and if you are truly ana, you will have no problem sticking to them because you are STRONG! Rules are everything. Examples: Don’t eat anything white. Do not, under any circumstances, eat after 6:00. Don’t eat before 3:00. Cut each bite into x amount of pieces, chew x amount of times. Do not eat anything that has over 3 grams of fat. Make your own and keep adding to them.
  2. Ana must be the center of your life.
  3. Drink a full glass of water before you eat and then sip a full glass between bites, you’ll get full much faster. Remember it takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
  4. Eat denser food because it feels like more. Light and fluffy foods compact in your digestive tract and you will feel hungry soon after.
  5. Take out only the amount of food you plan to eat and don’t allow seconds.
  6. Think before you eat. Don’t eat while distracted (TV, etc). Stop and consider if you really want to eat that then consciously give yourself permission.
  7. 4 100-calorie meals is better than one 400-calorie meal.
  8. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and you’ll get hungry more. If you need to, eat more frequently, not bigger amounts.
  9. Slim-Fast and other “healthy” bars and shakes have more carbs and calories than in the meal they’re intended to replace. Stay away.
  10. Drink at least a glass of water every hour. It’s better for weight loss to sip throughout the day than to chug a full glass (except before eating, in which case it can make you eat less, or make you slightly nauseous so you don’t want to eat at all). Try keeping a water bottle somewhere you’ll see it a lot, like every 10-20 minutes, and take a drink from it every time you see it/notice it.
  11. Drink up to a shot of apple cider vinegar before eating, it’s supposed to minimize fat absorption. Also speeds metabolism and can help curb cravings. Drinking more than a shot causes a vague nausea which helps suppress appetite.
  12. Ice or gum are good food substitutes. Celery works too if you’re really hungry.
  13. Use small, dark colored plates. Dark blue or black makes you eat less, and smaller plates and utensils cause you to take smaller portions from the start.
  14. Make a list of “bad” foods. Periodically, cross one of the list and pledge to never, ever eat it again. Eventually there will be none left.
  15. Eat in front of a mirror, naked or in underwear if possible. If you can’t, carry a picture of yourself in a revealing outfit and look at it when you want to eat. When you have cravings pinch your fat and look at your problem areas, don’t add to them!
  16. Eat a lot of fiber for digestive health and low calories.
  17. Create a methodical routine for eating. Cut food into tiny pieces, count your bites and the number of times you chew, set your utensils down between bites, and sip water between bites. Add other rules or rituals of your own.
  18. Eat higher-calorie items earlier in the day so you have more time to burn them off; if you eat late eat light or it will be more likely to be stored as fat due to inactivity. Try not to eat too late, sleep burns calories and is a good opportunity to burn fat with little effort. The body must burn through all digesting food before taking energy from stored food (fat).
  19. When you go out, take very little money or only enough to buy whatever non-food item you plan on buying. This will make it harder to buy food on impulse.
  20. Don’t take bites, either from others’ food or while cooking, as the calories add up surprisingly fast and you may not realize how much extra you’re taking in.
  21. Write down everything you eat and its calories. This will make you think before eating and also make you more aware of how much food and calories you are actually consuming. You can also write down other things such as how you’re feeling, who you’re with, place, time, and why you chose to eat it, this will help you track patterns in your eating behavior.
  22. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you want to eat. Food = pain.
  23. Set a time you cannot eat past. 6:00 or 7:00pm are good choices. This is especially helpful if you are prone to night binging. Then make a rule that you cannot eat before 6:00 or 7:00AM, this is like having a 12-hr fast every day.
  24. You shouldn’t eat for at least 3 hours before going to bed. The extra hours will help burn off the calories. If you eat soon before sleeping, you absorb more calories due to inactivity and you put on weight.
  25. Have a peppermint or peppermint tea. Peppermint decreases hunger.
  26. Brush your teeth when you want to eat. The clean feeling and mint aftertaste will put you off food.
  27. Press on your stomach when it grumbles. TUMS also stop stomach growling and have calcium.(5 calories a piece so be careful!)
  28. Carry a list of all the reasons you want to be thin and avoid food. Look at it when you want to eat to remind yourself why you won’t. Or, write a new list every time you want to eat. It’ll distract you, postpone eating, and thinking of the reasons will inspire you.
  29. Cut a ribbon the size you want your waist to be. wrap and tie it around your wrist like a bracelet. Every time you look at it you’ll be reminded of your goals. When you’re tempted, take it off and wrap it around your waist. See how close you are, or how far you have to go, and resist the temptation.
  30. Always leave at least one bite of food on your plate. This will help you to be able to stop eating and prevent binges. It will also stop you from compulsively finishing portions even when you have eaten enough.
  31. Save $1 for every meal you don’t eat, then use the money to buy yourself a non-food present.
  32. Friends will only get in the way. Avoid them until you reach your goals.
  33. Never eat in secret. This is a terrible habit that leads to compulsive binging. If you wouldn’t eat it in front of all your friends you shouldn’t be eating it at all! Also if you only eat around other people they will know that you do eat and assume you eat alone as well, thus lessening suspicion that you have an ED.
  34. Never eat out of a box or jar. Always eat from a plate or bowl. This will help you in several ways: You will see how much you are really eating; you can determine in advance how much you will eat and not go back for seconds; using a small plate or bowl will make you eat even less; you can count/measure out an exact serving and know the accurate amount of calories you are consuming.
  35. Give clothes to Goodwill as they get too big for you. Don’t keep them around “just in case.”
  36. If you live alone, put thinspo and/or reverse thinspo pictures on the pantry and refrigerator. A mirror works well too.
  37. When you have hunger pangs, picture your stomach eating away your fat, and that what you feel is the feeling of thinness and your fat burning away.
  38. Coffee is an appetite suppressant. Drink it black or with Splenda or other no-calorie sweetener.
  39. Count your bites, and the number of times you chew them. Plan in advance how many bites you can have. Then make them smaller or use smaller utensils.
  40. Paint your nails so you can’t eat until the polish dries. Teeth whitening strips are good too.
  41. Drink water before eating. If you’re still hungry, drink green tea or broth. If you still need to eat, you’ll eat less than you would have.
  42. Eat low-calorie foods with strong flavors. Sometimes you’re craving taste, not food. For bouillon, use less water than is recommended. Peppermints, pickles, peppers, and mustard are good choices.
  43. Do not eat anything unless you know the exact amount of calories in it.
  44. Chew gum while cooking. That way you can’t take bites while it is cooking, and you won’t want to eat it once it’s done.
  45. Keep food out of sight, not sitting out, and stay away from food and the kitchen to keep your mind off it.
  46. Keep a pocket thinspo in your wallet with your cash so you won’t spend money on food.
  47. For sweet cravings, lick a chopstick and dip it into a diet Swiss Miss pack.
  48. Write your current weight on one hand, and your goal weight on the other. When you go to eat, you’ll be reminded how fat you are, and how skinny you could be.
  49. The Four D’s:
        Distance yourself from food.
        Distract yourself.
        Delay eating
        Decide what your goals really are.
  50. Green tea raises metabolism and is very good for the skin and overall health. Drink it in the morning to increase metabolism for the day. Add lemon to make it more effective and to add a detoxifying aspect.
  51. Hot water with lemon is another good morning drink.
  52. Spicy foods raise metabolism, if you don’t like them you can take cayenne pepper capsules available in supplement section of drugstores or health food stores.
  53. Drinking apple cider vinegar is said to raise metabolism, have a few tablespoons, can also be mixed in water (with lemon would be best) or used as salad dressing.
  54. Start the morning with stretching to wake up your muscles, the morning is also the best time to exercise because your body will use stored food (fat) as fuel instead of food you ate. It also processes food better throughout the day and gives you more energy if you exercise in the morning.
  55. Get at least 6 hours of sleep each night, less than this can decrease metabolism by 10% and increase appetite by 15%. You look better and feel better when you have more sleep also if you’re sleeping then you’re not eating!
  56. Keep good posture, it burns 10% more calories throughout the day. You also look better.
  57. Vitamin B6 and B12 raise metabolism and give you energy.
  58. Eating protein increases your metabolic rate by 14%.

anonymous asked:

sick shiro? hell yes. maybe hunk made some space food that actually tastes like something that Shiro really liked at earth so he stuffs his face with it and he realizes too late that this stuffs makes him really nauseous...end off the story Shiro is just really stuffed and nauseous because it really doesn't agree with him and hunk feeling bad tries to comfort and take care of him?

A/N: @bosstoaster for the Shiro hunger headcanons. Plus, I love this pairing, okay?

As the team’s unofficial chef, Hunk is very aware of everyone’s individual eating habits; likes, dislikes, specific allergies, and so forth.

For instance, he knows that Lance won’t touch anything that even remotely resembles a brussels sprout with a twelve-foot pole. He knows Pidge has a quirk about different foods interacting on the same plate; everything has to have its separate, designated space. Keith has to be coaxed, (sometimes forced), into eating even a little breakfast and he blatantly refuses food when he’s anxious before missions.

It took Hunk a little longer with Shiro. The night they had rescued him from the compound he hadn’t realized the extent of the damage; he’d assumed the poor guy was still suffering nasty side effects as a result of being drugged, not to mention starved for over a year.

Hunk had whipped up an impromptu dinner for everyone in Keith’s little shack, taking solace in the comforting sense of control the process of stirring, chopping, and searing had allotted, if only for a fleeting couple of hours.

Long after everyone else had cleaned their plates, Shiro had continued to eat. He’d mechanically shoveled food into his mouth like a ravenous robot, oblivious to his companion’s bafflement. At the time, Hunk hadn’t understood; hadn’t really thought anything of it. He’d seemed hungry, so Hunk had continued to feed him. And Shiro had kept eating. It was the grim concentration that had really freaked Hunk out. Shiro hadn’t enjoyed the food, either. In hindsight, Hunk realized his objective had been to inhale every scrap of nourishment as quickly as possible. He’d quite literally eaten himself sick.

Halfway through his fourth bowl of stew, Shiro had abruptly spun away from the table and vomited it all back up onto the floor, nearly giving Keith a heart attack.

Shiro never talked about his year in captivity. But Hunk was willing to bet his ass that food - if you could call it that - had been scarce and Shiro had been forced to fight for every morsel. He also guessed that prisoners were never fed regularly or sufficiently. Hunk had no idea if humans were even meant to ingest whatever the Galra considered food. It couldn’t have been especially pleasant. He couldn’t imagine forcing yourself to eat for the sole purpose of fighting to stay alive, not knowing when or if you’d ever be fed again. It made his chest ache when he thought about Shiro trapped in such a monstrous hell.

Shiro’s brain had undoubtedly been conditioned to consume every bite of whatever he was given, solely fueled by the most basic human instinct: survival.

Since they’d all been tossed together, Hunk’s taken it upon himself to meticulously monitor Shiro’s meals. The man has absolutely no concept of hunger or the parameters those triggers entail. Essentially, it boils down to making Shiro eat and then ensuring Shiro stops if he’s distracted. Hunk isn’t positive Shiro is ever going to be able to enjoy food like a normal person ever again. That realization makes him incredibly sad.

One of Hunk’s favorite pastimes is cooking for the team, (when Coran hasn’t beaten him to it). He’s grown exceptionally skilled at experimenting with the various foreign ingredients and creating dishes that taste nearly identical to some of his favorite foods back on Earth.

Still, he’s never seen Shiro actually enjoy a meal. Sure, their leader enjoys the company, the camaraderie and routine of sitting down to do something so mundane and familiar in the midst of their crazy lives. But from what Hunk can deduce, Shiro eats because he knows his body requires the nutrients and energy in order to function properly, not because he relishes the flavors or textures of whatever’s placed in front of him.

So the night he makes something vaguely similar to chicken spaghetti, (it’d been a rough mission; Hunk needed comfort food), and presents it to the group, he isn’t surprised when everyone digs in. What does surprise him is Shiro’s reaction after his first bite.

Oh,” Shiro pulls back for a moment, chewing slowly and giving a curious tilt of his head. He swallows, a strange smile playing at the corners of his lips. “This is…”

“Oh,” Hunk echoes, disappointment weighing heavily as his shoulders droop. “You don’t like it.”

Shiro shakes his head, “No, I…this is really good. It tastes like…I don’t know. Something my mom used to make, I think.”

Shiro’s never bothered mentioning his family. The comment sends Hunk sputtering while the other paladins gape at Shiro, noisy sounds of chewing abruptly halting as forks poise listlessly in the air.

“I, uh,” Hunk stammers, still taken aback by Shiro’s compliment. “I was going for chicken spaghetti?”

“Yeah,” Shiro hums after a thoughtful moment before digging into his meal with renewed enthusiasm. “That’s it. That’s what she used to make.”

Shiro moans around another mouthful, closing his eyes as he swallows. “Hunk, this is incredible. I don’t know how you do it.”

Hunk beams with the praise, smiling from ear-to-ear as he watches Shiro reach for the serving bowl to ladle out another helping. He’s eating with gusto, relishing every bite.

“Well, it’s not exactly spaghetti, but I guess it had the general shape,” Hunk chuckles, swirling a bite around his own fork. “So I figured I’d give it a try.”

“It’s awesome, Hunk,” Lance agrees, cheeks ballooning as he struggles to speak through an obscene amount of…space spaghetti?

Shiro nods, barely pausing to breathe as he practically inhales his second plate.

Pidge and Keith contribute their own compliments, quickly finishing their portions and heading to the showers to wash off the day’s grime. Lance lets out an unapologetic, thoroughly satisfied belch before announcing he’s wiped.

“You want some help?” Lance offers lazily, slurring around a sleepy yawn.

Hunk rolls his eyes, “No, no. I’ve got it. You’d only screw up my system, anyway. Yes, there is a system, Lance.” He begins gathering up the empty plates, feeling the grueling exhaustion beginning to take its toll. That’s when he notices that Shiro hasn’t moved. Come to think of it, he hasn’t moved for a good five minutes.

The older boy is hunched over the table, head bowed, arms braced against the surface and hands clenched into tight fists. His eyes are squeezed shut, upper body swaying gently as his throat works with convulsive swallows.

“Shiro?” Hunk frowns, crossing over to place a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Are you all right?”

Shiro jerks upright, blinking at Hunk with hazy, unfocused eyes as his throat bobs with another thick swallow. He’s alarmingly pale, skin clammy with sweat and hair matted to his forehead.

“Yeah,” he pants, tongue slowly licking over his upper lip. “‘M fine. Jus’…just tired.” His slurred words end with an audible shudder that visibly ripples down his spine. His hand strays to hover over his abdomen, lips parting to pant softly as he struggles to stand.

“You sure?” Hunk glares skeptically, keeping his hand on Shiro’s shoulder as he rises. “‘Cause you look kind of -“

Hunk is abruptly cut off by an odd gurgling sound. Shiro’s eyes widen as he frantically presses a fist to his mouth. A wet burp rumbles in his throat, causing his chest to jolt.

Hunk takes an involuntary step back as Shiro cringes, suppressing another deep belch. “Um, Shiro?”

“E-excuse me, I -” Shiro blushes furiously, hand rubbing over his stomach as he takes a few steps away from Hunk. “My stomach feels…sorry. I don’t know what’s -“ he cuts himself off with another gurgly burp, cupping a hand firmly over his mouth before stumbling away from the mess-hall, breaking into an awkward jog. “I’ve..gotta go.”

Baffled, Hunk really has no choice but to follow. Something is seriously wrong and he has the sinking suspicion that it’s his fault.

He catches up easily. Shiro’s hunched over in the hallway, one arm gripping abusively around his stomach and the other bracing his weight against the wall. He’s panting, broad frame jerking with sharp hiccups that he’s obviously desperate to stifle.

Hunk can’t help resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder. Shiro flinches, but doesn’t push him off, just curls in harder on himself.

“You’re sick,” Hunk says matter-of-factly, leaving little room for argument. “You should have said something.”

“I’m not -“ a muffled retch interrupts his protest. Shiro presses his fist against his mouth so hard Hunk’s afraid he’s going to crack his jawbone. “I’m just…so full. I can’t remember ever feeling so…oh, my stomach -“ Shiro’s voice catches on another hiccup and Hunk braces his palm against the other man’s chest, attempting to steady him.

“I know,” he says, voice gentle. “Don’t worry. You’re okay. It was just a little too much, I guess.”

Shiro grunts, trying to detangle himself from Hunk’s grip as another violent gag erupts from his throat. He staggers into the shared bathroom, knees bruising against the floor as he drapes himself over the toilet. He clenches the edges of the bowl, legs writhing as he struggles to regain control of his rebelling body.

“What the hell is - ulp - wrong with me?” Shiro demands, shoulders shuddering brutally as saliva drips over his bottom lip.

Despite his own mounting nausea, Hunk squats down behind the older boy, placing a warm hand against the center of his back. He begins rubbing slow, methodic circles, hoping to help in one way or another. He has no idea what he’s doing, but Shiro isn’t pulling away, so it must be all right.

“Your body isn’t used to so much,” Hunk reasons, wincing sympathetically as Shiro convulses wretchedly at the mention of food. It’s true; he hasn’t seen Shiro eat that much since their first encounter and he feels awful for allowing it to go so far. “I think you may have overdone it a little. I’m sorry. I should have -“

“Don’t be,” Shiro gags, spitting uselessly into the bowl. “Wasn’t your - urp - fault.”

Of course it wasn’t. Nothing is ever anyone’s fault but Shiro’s. Goddammit.

Hunk takes a deep breath through his nose, wrapping his arms in a sturdy embrace around Shiro’s waist as he muffles the shaky words, “Yes it was. Don’t be such a fucking hero.”

It’s angry and stupid and selfish but it gets Shiro’s attention.

Shiro glances up from the bowl, eyes momentarily softening as he regards his friend.

“Hunk,” Shiro barely manages to choke out the name before he’s curling forward with a full-bodied heave, burping up a stream of brown bile. Hunk winces, automatically increasing the pressure of his hand against Shiro’s back. His other unconsciously presses against Shiro’s contracting stomach.

“Don’t worry,” Hunk reassures, tightening his grip as he feels the other boy’s determination waver, muscles bunching and coiling in desperate anticipation. “I’ve got you.”

Hunk feels like his insides are disintegrating when Shiro’s self-control finally gives out, sending him lurching over the bowl with a belching gag that results in a flood of pre-digested liquid spewing from his mouth. Shiro coughs and wheezes, desperate for a breath of air as crippling waves of nausea threaten to suffocate him.

“Take it easy,” Hunk coaches. His nose brushes weakly against Shiro’s right shoulder blade as the older boy hiccups pitifully, grasping onto the supporting arm that Hunk’s encircled around his waist. “Breathe.”

Shiro tries to follow the order and ends up retching, another harsh belch ushering up a watery flood of sick. He slumps over the toilet, panting raggedly as the fit eventually wears off.

Hunk is kind of freaking out. It’s almost as bad as the first time it happened. Except this time, he knows it’s his fault.

Shiro coughs, tainted drool dribbling languidly over his bottom lip as he struggles to regain some semblance of control over his own body. Then his hand strays to Hunk’s, long fingers brushing against his skin.

“Hunk,” he slurs, voice breathless. “Wasn’t you. Stop…stop thinkin’ so hard.”

“W-what?” Hunk stammers, voice catching.

“I can hear you,” Shiro chuckles, a little deliriously as he slumps against Hunk’s chest. “So loud.”

“Well, stop it,” Hunk demands, readjusting Shiro’s weight against him. “It’s weird, okay? Reading people’s thoughts isn’t normal.”

Shiro simply nods, offering a woozy smile as he goes limp against Hunk’s chest, exhaustion sluicing through his body. He slides down onto Hunk’s thigh, nuzzling contentedly as his labored breathing evens out.

“Ah, geez,” Hunk groans. In spite of his initial irritation at being reduced to a human pillow, Hunk continues to drag his fingers over Shiro’s back, humming soothing sounds whenever he stirs.

“You’re all right,” he whispers when Shiro whimpers softly in his sleep. “You’re gonna be all right.”

Yoongi

BOYFRIEND BANGTAN | YOONGI VERSION

WORD COUNT: 1,210

FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF with the lightest most PG mention of sex

Originally posted by sugasuite

masterlist | ask

Keep reading

Company Is Coming Feat. General Hux
  • Hux: COMPANY IS COMING WE NEED TO CLEAN THE FINALIZER NOW NOW NOW PEOPLE
  • Hux: I want this place looking like Canto Bight on ice in one minute !
  • Hux: Ren, if you haven't made your bed it's too late now; just throw it away !
  • Hux: COMPANY IS COMING GET RID OF THE COUCHES WE CAN'T LET THE NEW REPUBLIC KNOW WE S I T
  • Hux: Armitage Hux to the rescue again. WHERE ARE MY CO-COMMANDERS ?
  • Hux: PHASMA THERE ARE MUFFINS ON THE COUNTER.
  • Hux: REN THAT'S A DISH TOWEL ! WE NEED A HAND TOWEL !
  • Hux: welcome to the First Order. We eat mud and sticks and live outside.
  • Hux *while pointing at an orchid flower*: someone please get Kylo Ren's lesbian plant out of here.
Ana tips

1:RULES, RULES, RULES. This is important. You need to set rules for yourself, and if you are truly ana, you will have no problem sticking to them because you are STRONG! Rules are everything. Examples: Don’t eat anything white. Do not, under any circumstances, eat after 6:00. Don’t eat before 3:00. Cut each bite into x amount of pieces, chew x amount of times. Do not eat anything that has over 3 grams of fat. Make your own and keep adding to them.
2: Ana must be the center of your life.
Drink a full glass of water before you eat and then sip a full glass between bites, you’ll get full much faster. Remember it takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
3: Eat denser food because it feels like more. Light and fluffy foods compact in your digestive tract and you will feel hungry soon after.
4:Take out only the amount of food you plan to eat and don’t allow seconds.
5:Think before you eat. Don’t eat while distracted (TV, etc). Stop and consider if you really want to eat that then consciously give yourself permission.
6: 4 100-calorie meals is better than one 400-calorie meal.
7: Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and you’ll get hungry more. If you need to, eat more frequently, not bigger amounts.
8:Slim-Fast and other “healthy” bars and shakes have more carbs and calories than in the meal they’re intended to replace. Stay away.
9:Drink at least a glass of water every hour. It’s better for weight loss to sip throughout the day than to chug a full glass (except before eating, in which case it can make you eat less, or make you slightly nauseous so you don’t want to eat at all). Try keeping a water bottle somewhere you’ll see it a lot, like every 10-20 minutes, and take a drink from it every time you see it/notice it.
10: Drink up to a shot of apple cider vinegar before eating, it’s supposed to minimize fat absorption. Also speeds metabolism and can help curb cravings. Drinking more than a shot causes a vague nausea which helps suppress appetite.
11:Ice or gum are good food substitutes. Celery works too if you’re really hungry.
Use small, dark colored plates. Dark blue or black makes you eat less, and smaller plates and utensils cause you to take smaller portions from the start.
12: Make a list of “bad” foods. Periodically, cross one of the list and pledge to never, ever eat it again. Eventually there will be none left.
12: Eat in front of a mirror, naked or in underwear if possible. If you can’t, carry a picture of yourself in a revealing outfit and look at it when you want to eat. When you have cravings pinch your fat and look at your problem areas, don’t add to them!
13: Eat a lot of fiber for digestive health and low calories.
14: Create a methodical routine for eating. Cut food into tiny pieces, count your bites and the number of times you chew, set your utensils down between bites, and sip water between bites. Add other rules or rituals of your own.
15: Eat higher-calorie items earlier in the day so you have more time to burn them off; if you eat late eat light or it will be more likely to be stored as fat due to inactivity. Try not to eat too late, sleep burns calories and is a good opportunity to burn fat with little effort. The body must burn through all digesting food before taking energy from stored food (fat).
16: When you go out, take very little money or only enough to buy whatever non-food item you plan on buying. This will make it harder to buy food on impulse.
17: Don’t take bites, either from others’ food or while cooking, as the calories add up surprisingly fast and you may not realize how much extra you’re taking in.
18:Write down everything you eat and its calories. This will make you think before eating and also make you more aware of how much food and calories you are actually consuming. You can also write down other things such as how you’re feeling, who you’re with, place, time, and why you chose to eat it, this will help you track patterns in your eating behavior.
19: Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you want to eat. Food = pain.
20: Set a time you cannot eat past. 6:00 or 7:00pm are good choices. This is especially helpful if you are prone to night binging. Then make a rule that you cannot eat before 6:00 or 7:00AM, this is like having a 12-hr fast every day.
21:You shouldn’t eat for at least 3 hours before going to bed. The extra hours will help burn off the calories. If you eat soon before sleeping, you absorb more calories due to inactivity and you put on weight.
22:Have a peppermint or peppermint tea. Peppermint decreases hunger.
23: Brush your teeth when you want to eat. The clean feeling and mint aftertaste will put you off food.
24:Press on your stomach when it grumbles. TUMS also stop stomach growling and have calcium.(5 calories a piece so be careful!)
25: Carry a list of all the reasons you want to be thin and avoid food. Look at it when you want to eat to remind yourself why you won’t. Or, write a new list every time you want to eat. It’ll distract you, postpone eating, and thinking of the reasons will inspire you.
26: Cut a ribbon the size you want your waist to be. wrap and tie it around your wrist like a bracelet. Every time you look at it you’ll be reminded of your goals. When you’re tempted, take it off and wrap it around your waist. See how close you are, or how far you have to go, and resist the temptation.
27: Always leave at least one bite of food on your plate. This will help you to be able to stop eating and prevent binges. It will also stop you from compulsively finishing portions even when you have eaten enough.
28: Save $1 for every meal you don’t eat, then use the money to buy yourself a non-food present.
29: Friends who encourage you to eat will only get in the way. Avoid them until you reach your goals.
30:Never eat in secret. This is a terrible habit that leads to compulsive binging. If you wouldn’t eat it in front of all your friends you shouldn’t be eating it at all! Also if you only eat around other people they will know that you do eat and assume you eat alone as well, thus lessening suspicion that you have an ED.
31: Never eat out of a box or jar. Always eat from a plate or bowl. This will help you in several ways: You will see how much you are really eating; you can determine in advance how much you will eat and not go back for seconds; using a small plate or bowl will make you eat even less; you can count/measure out an exact serving and know the accurate amount of calories you are consuming.
32: Give clothes to Goodwill as they get too big for you. Don’t keep them around “just in case.”
33: If you live alone, put thinspo and/or reverse thinspo pictures on the pantry and refrigerator. A mirror works well too.
When you have hunger pangs, picture your stomach eating away your fat, and that what you feel is the feeling of thinness and your fat burning away.
34: Coffee is an appetite suppressant. Drink it black or with Splenda or other no-calorie sweetener.
35: Count your bites, and the number of times you chew them. Plan in advance how many bites you can have. Then make them smaller or use smaller utensils.
36:Paint your nails so you can’t eat until the polish dries. Teeth whitening strips are good too.
37:Drink water before eating. If you’re still hungry, drink green tea or broth. If you still need to eat, you’ll eat less than you would have.
38:Eat low-calorie foods with strong flavors. Sometimes you’re craving taste, not food. For bouillon, use less water than is recommended. Peppermints, pickles, peppers, and mustard are good choices.
39:Do not eat anything unless you know the exact amount of calories in it.
40:Chew gum while cooking. That way you can’t take bites while it is cooking, and you won’t want to eat it once it’s done.
41:Keep food out of sight, not sitting out, and stay away from food and the kitchen to keep your mind off it.
42:Keep a pocket thinspo in your wallet with your cash so you won’t spend money on food.
43:For sweet cravings, lick a chopstick and dip it into a diet Swiss Miss pack.
44:Write your current weight on one hand, and your goal weight on the other. When you go to eat, you’ll be reminded how fat you are, and how skinny you could be.
45:The Four D’s:
Distance yourself from food.
Distract yourself.
Delay eating
Decide what your goals really are.
46:Green tea raises metabolism and is very good for the skin and overall health. Drink it in the morning to increase metabolism for the day. Add lemon to make it more effective and to add a detoxifying aspect.
47:Hot water with lemon is another good morning drink.
48:Spicy foods raise metabolism, if you don’t like them you can take cayenne pepper capsules available in supplement section of drugstores or health food stores.
49:Drinking apple cider vinegar is said to raise metabolism, have a few tablespoons, can also be mixed in water (with lemon would be best) or used as salad dressing.
50:Start the morning with stretching to wake up your muscles, the morning is also the best time to exercise because your body will use stored food (fat) as fuel instead of food you ate. It also processes food better throughout the day and gives you more energy if you exercise in the morning.
51:Get at least 6 hours of sleep each night, less than this can decrease metabolism by 10% and increase appetite by 15%. You look better and feel better when you have more sleep also if you’re sleeping then you’re not eating!
52:Keep good posture, it burns 10% more calories throughout the day. You also look better.
53:Vitamin B6 and B12 raise metabolism and give you energy.
54:Eating protein increases your metabolic rate by 14%

The Signs and Cities III:

Aries: A city built tall. None know the depths of its elevator shafts nor what lies at the peaks of its toxic spires.

Taurus: A city of rolling hills and green pastures. Farms and homes built on the corpses of mountain-eating war machines.

Gemini: A city built into your very bones. Vast highways taking tiny citizens to and fro.

Libra: A tarnished city, its fields laid waste in exchange for the bounty of silver beneath. Gaunt bodies and once shining walls.

Cancer: A city of the night, lit eternally by neon and halogen. The bars are open late, the patrons never leave.

Leo: A city on strings, its walls and shops twisting and dancing to find a more perfect arrangement.

Virgo: A city built too small as if for children. Great vaulted ceilings barely fit to kneel in.

Libra: A scarred city. Nothing is built on the blackened tract of land. None speak of why.

Scorpio: What is left of a grand capital. The pathetic tatters of a tyrants crown jewel.

Ophiuchus: A city of ash. Its homes always meant to be coffins.

Sagittarius: A city made from a single grand complex. Grand spires and wings stretch on endlessly. There are no neighbors.

Capricorn: A city built to fish for stars. Fishing lines dangle upwards reaching ever reaching.

Aquarius: A city in the undergrowth. A sanctuary from the glamour above, its residents dredge the earth.

Pisces: A city of the sun. All domes built inverse to facilitate better worship. Its residents blind.

Sorry?
  • Harry: Did you eat the last biscuit?
  • Draco: What do you mean?
  • Harry: I mean there's an empty box of biscuits in the cupboard. Why would you put the box back when it's empty? That's just mean!
  • Draco: We both know it's a cruel world.
  • Harry: Ugh, Draco! You know these are my favourite!
  • Draco: Is it too late now to say I'm kinda sorry?
  • Harry:
  • Harry: Are you quoting Justin Bieber to me? Incorrectly?
4

🔥 A Song of Ice and Fire projectA Gifset per every chapter

↪ A Game of Thrones, XLVII, Eddard XIII

“Serve the boar at my funeral feast,” Robert rasped. “Apple in its mouth, skin seared crisp. Eat the bastard. Don’t care if you choke on him. Promise me, Ned.”

“I promise.” Promise me, Ned, Lyanna’s voice echoed.

“The girl,” the king said. “Daenerys. Let her live. If you can, if it … not too late … talk to them … Varys, Littlefinger … don’t let them kill her. And help my son, Ned. Make him be … better than me.”

Bf! Taeyong

  • Lowkey dumb
  • but very cuddly and cute so you keep him around
  • You both met when you were trainees, you were a newbie and really nervous cuz all of these people were so talented and there you were
  • Taeyong saw you all nervous and internally blushed at how pretty you were but kept a strong face and totally ignored you
  • He kept on sneaking glances at you though, when you weren’t paying attention but other times he would pretend you weren’t even there
  • You would sometimes get reprimanded by your coach or your trainers and he would want to fight them and protect you but he has to conceal dont feel because he doesn’t want any other distraction during his trainee life
  • But then he saw you getting closer to other trainee members, especially Yuta and became so jealous that he became really cold towards you, like lowkey bullied you
  • Like that one time you asked for the directions to the boys’ dorm (cuz u wanted to give yuta his vitamin water) and he told you to ‘find it yourself’ and shoulder bumped you
  • you almost fell 
  • He felt really bad about it the whole day though and wanted to apologise but had too much of an ego to do so and he was still pissed that you were closer to Yuta than him
  • He didn’t know why but he was always agitated around you two and just wanted to push yuta away
  • Your debut was nearing and you were in the practice room working on your dance moves.You had improved a lot and everyone loved you. The only problem was Taeyong. He was so beautiful but so cold you almost shivered every time he was around. Yuta was friendly and out going but it was Taeyong you wanted to get close to
  • You felt down as you lost your balance on the cold wooden floor
  • “aisshhh how does he even have friends” you said to yourself while massaging your foot
  • “there are ice packs in the fridge you know” you heard a voice. Turning around you saw Taeyong standing against the door, his face make up free and glowing against the brilliant lights of the room
  • You stood up slowly but Taeyong was quick to react. “Stay” he said as he lunged towards the small refrigerator and pulled out an ice pack. He walked over to you and placed the cool material on your ankle 
  • You stared at how beautiful his skin was and how ethereal he looked up close. He looked up into your eyes and you blinked. He was close, too close
  • “Thanks,” you stuttered, your breath held in. It felt as if you would implode
  • “You should be more careful,”  he said. He looked so soft, so human. You wanted to touch his face and play with the glistening strands of his hair. How would anyone believe that this angelic boy was actually so cold and closed off
  • You both sat in silence, his hand still holding the ice pack over your foot. You inhaled deeply, wanting to escape this situation but wanting it never to end
  • “You know I-” you both started and he smiled to himself. “You can go first”
  • “No its ok” you smiled at him. He stopped to look at you for a while as his heart beat sped up
  • “I’m not doing anything this Saturday, do you want to join me for a coffee?” he asked. You nodded instantly which caused him to laugh. “So cute” he whispered to himself and you looked away, blushing
  • Taeyong seemed like a different person that day. Laughing at your jokes and smiling at you, he even held your hand when walking you to the dorms. You kissed his cheek as you left. He smiled like an idiot the rest of the night
  • Thats when it all began, Taeyong and you
  • Taeyong had never even imagined that you’d say yes when he asked you to be his girlfriend, upon asking “didn’t you like Yuta?”  and hearing your loud “NO HE’S JUST A FRIEND” he almost cried with happiness and also at his idiocy that how stupid he had been 
  • With Taeyong its endless messages and calls, he always so bored when you’re not around or when you’re too busy to reply and attend his calls
  • You both sneak out of your dorms to just walk together and eat together
  • His day gets a hundred times better when he has plans with you and annoys yuta by asking him what kind of sneakers suit him
  • “Taeyong they’re all white”
  • “But do you like the ones with the blue logo on them or should I get new ones with a darker blue logo”
  • Such a mom towards you tbh
  • Like when you weren’t wearing your coat he kept on nagging you to wear his or “should’ve worn a coat” “why don’t you take care of yourself”
  • Offers you his food and you’d be dying cuz you’ve eaten so much but he’s like “no eat”
  • Doesn’t appreciate it when you’re on a diet because that means you cant eat out with him
  • Sulks a lot when you don’t pay him enough attention
  • Like he’ll become to quiet and needy and attach himself to your arm and look at you with puppy dog eyes
  • “love me y/n”
  • loves hugging you, enjoys your warmth and your smell
  • loves the fact that your smaller than him and a lot softer 
  • cooks for you a lot like you’ll just be at your dorm and he’ll show up with homemade food that his mom taught him
  • He wants to explore all kinds of food with you and wants you to have all the food he loves and vice versa
  • he takes an active part in celebrating your life like when you debuted he showed up with cake and candles to celebrate it
  • and on your birthdays he goes out of his way and has a surprise party for you, such a cutie
  • he’s so dumb around you too like people think he’s a suave playboy of sorts when in reality he’s just a really confused and excited pup
  • like he’s really happy around you and also really clumsy and he loses his energy really quickly
  • he prefers having a day in with you and just cuddling and watching movies
  • STUDIO GHIBLI MARATHONS
  • WITH A LOT OF FOOD
  • Whenever you’re sick or sad or worried his mom mode activates and he tries making you feel as comfortable as he can 
  • He can’t stand you crying and is always there when you’re having a hard time
  • The good thing about him is that he’s always there to cheer you up and hear you out and give you good advice
  • Taeyong is a really insecure person so he’s always scared you might leave him and gets depressed really easily
  • Especially in the first few days of his debut he was getting a lot of hate and ended up being really closed off and didn’t even reply to your texts or calls. He thought that the world, including you hated him
  • But then you had to physically go up to his dorm and comfort him and he just laid there in your lap talking about nothing
  • He was a little assured then that you wouldn’t leave but still tries really hard to make you happy so you wouldn’t leave
  • And you won’t leave him because you love him to bits
  • You two fight sometimes on the fact that he can become really closed off when he’s depressed 
  • And especially when he’s jealous
  • Because of his fear of losing you he becomes jealous really easily and gets all cold and mean and you both fight about it
  • but he ends up giving in and cuddling you at night because he still needs all the warmth, it gets cold on his side of the bed
  • makes you pancakes in the morning to have you forgive him
  • and then you give him a long lecture on how you’re his and no one else’s and his smile is so content and oh wow your boyfriend is so beautiful
  • He loves it when you sit on his lap and he pulls you closer to his chest and nuzzles his nose in the crook of your neck
  • and then it turns into a make out session
  • his kisses are so soft and he holds you so close and treats you so delicately and he always smells so nice
  • gets annoyed when your dorm is messy and goes on a cleaning rampage, its annoying sometimes but its just how he is
  • You both go on many long walks along the river and late night snacks at the convenience store
  • He wants to travel the world with you someday
  • Like you both going to Kyoto for your honeymoon
  • and then smacks himself thinking that you both are too young to get married
  • daydreams about you a lot
  • when he’s really busy with his comeback he feels as if he’s missing something and then remembers he hasn’t texted you
  • and then goes like oh fuckOH FUCK while looking for his phone and finding many texts from you saying “good luck” and “i know you’re busy but dont forget to eat and drink water” “dont overwork yourself”
  • and he smiles so wide and jaehyun in the back whistles and he ignores him and just keeps on smiling
  • like a literal text from you to him can brighten up his day so much
  • your relationship is so slow and peaceful and he’s so passionate and loving
  • he’s never bored around you and sleeps peacefully next to you
  • Taeyong is a bottom in bed, he prefers you taking control and being all dominant
  • He loves it when you’re confident and bold
  • but when he’s mad or jealous and wants to punish you god almighty i hope you’re alive child
  • but most of the time its slow and passionate and you both end up cuddling after
  • he later told you that he bullied you the whole time cuz he had a crush on you and you couldn’t stop laughing
  • “let it go ok”
  • “BUT YOU MADE MY LIFE HELL CUZ YOU LIKED ME AWWWWW”
  • And then he blushed and his ears went red 
  • He wants to adopt a dog with you, he would legit marry you if the company allowed him to
  • cuz with you he feels like he’s home, he feels accepted and loved

if you want out of my life then leave but once you’re out, you are out. do not look for me to make amends or clear your guilty conscious because of the distasteful way you left, at the expense of my emotions. deal with your conscious by yourself, just how you left me. let it eat you alive and rot. after all, it is nobody’s fault but your own.

13 Reasons Why (Daveed x Reader)

Sooooooo this took me literally forever to write, but I’m happy with the way it turned out!! Lil shoutout to Becca ( @angeilca-s ) helping me with some of the reasons ;) feedback would be lovely, and enjoy! 

Warnings: ANGST, swearing, it gets a little heated at one part but other than that I think it’s all good?

Words: 5447 (dang this took forever)


One - Constantly distracted

You mindlessly scraped the food around on your plate, your eyes glancing from the food up to your boyfriend, who obviously had something much more important than your three year anniversary on his phone.

“Babe, can you please put that away?” you hinted, glancing down at his phone when he looked up at you.

“Oh, yeah, mhm,” he nodded, sliding it into his back pocket and looking at you. That’s one of the many things that killed you, was the way he looked at you. No matter what you looked like, what you were doing, it didn’t matter. His chocolatey brown eyes bore into you like you put the stars in the sky and made the earth spin on its axis. You sighed and continued eating.

“Babygirl,” he strung out, letting the word slide right off his lips like music to your ears.

“Yes?” you responded, once again giving him your attention.

“I love you, I promise. So much,” he grinned, reaching over to take your hand. He rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand, something that you had always found calming.

“I love you too,” you replied, smiling back. It was a truly genuine smile. You couldn’t be more in love with the man sitting across from you.

Keep reading

Seventeen going to Dino’s Birthday Party: A Dino Birthday Special

Episode 11: Where Seventeen tries to plan and prepare for Dino’s birthday by splitting up into their units to get things done.

A/N: I may or not have been trying to stall time to have this special posted as the 11th episode cause you know 11 feb is chan’s birthday haha okay im sorry my brain stopped functioning and it this special somehow ended up being episode eleven… 


Jeonghan: “Okay children we need to do something special for my baby! He’s finally turning 5!”

Scoups:

Scoups: “Um Chan’s gonna be 18 what are you talking about?”

Jeonghan: “We need FIVE candles for his cake, we need FIVE presents, we need FIVE balloons, we need to buy five of everything because he is FIVEEEE!!!”

Joshua: “I love you Jeonghan but I think you have problems with facing the fact that Dino is growing up…”

Jeonghan:

Hoshi: “I think it’s time to let go of that fact that he isn’t 5 years old anymore”

Vernon: “The last time I checked… Chan hasn’t been 5 years old in let’s see… about THIRTEEN YEARS?!?!”

Jeonghan: “My baby is FIVEEEE!!!”

Seungkwan: “This is absurd, you guys didn’t do anything for my birthday… this is unfair! WHAT IS THIS INJUSTICE?!”

Seungkwan: “I TURNED 18 BEFORE THAT CHILD DID”

Jeonghan: “HE IS A BABY NOT A CHILD”

The8: “Your birthday passed?”

Jun: “I thought Seungkwan’s birthday’s in December”

Woozi: “No that’s Joshua’s birthday”

Jun: “Then when’s Seungkwan’s birthday?”

Seungkwan: “F-”

Joshua: “February?”

Vernon: “No cursing on Dino’s birthday it’s bad luck for the birthday boy”

Jeonghan: “You mean birthday baby”

Seungkwan: “Who cares?!?!?! It’s Dino that’ll have bad luck NOT ME and my birthday for your information is in January!”

Woozi: “No one asked for when your birthday was”

Seungkwan: “UGH fine and anyway Vernon you curse all the time…”

Vernon: “Gangsta-sol rests on birthdays, on birthdays I sing happy songs and give presents”

Joshua: “That sounds more like Santa Claus”

Jeonghan: “Okay attention to the less beautiful human beings, please gather before me”

Wonwoo: “Is hyung the birthday party planner?”

Jun: “Yeah he thinks no one can do a better job than he can…”

Jeonghan: “Okay so we are going to split up into our units to split the tasks, the hip hop unit will be going to buy the cake and present, the vocal unit will be decorating the house and the performance unit will be stalling time and making sure that Dino doesn’t come home”

Mingyu: “Why do we have to do the errands? You always give us the tougher ones…” *pouts*

Jeonghan: “Because Dino is my baby and Jeonghan the Angel says so!”

Mingyu: “Wha-”

Jeonghan: “and also because my hair is superior”

Scoups: “Don’t fight with Jeonghan, you’ll never win if he brings his hair into the fight”

Mingyu:

Mingyu: “Fine but we are stopping by KFC before we come home”

Scoups: “Okay deal”

Mingyu: “and also the famous bakery”

Scoups: “Alright, we have to get Chan’s birthday cake anyways”

Mingyu: “and the candy store!”

Scoups: “I guess we can get Chan some candy for his birthday right?”

Mingyu: “AND AND AND the pancake and waffles cafe!!”

Wonwoo: “Um Mingyu I think you are getting too carried away…”

Scoups: “… It’s okay if we have a slight detour right?”

Mingyu: “AND POPCORN!”

Scoups:

Scoups: “Now you’re just being greedy”

Mingyu: “POPPPPCORNNNN!!!”

Jun: “Is this your birthday or Dino’s?”

Mingyu: “Mine”

Seungkwan: “You mean mine since y’all never even bothered to celebrate mine?!?!”

Mingyu: “NO it’s MAH birthday since I’m gonna get some cake!”

Seungkwan: “BACK OFF MINGYU ITS MY BIRTHDAY”

Mingyu: “OH YEAH? WE’LL SEE WHO GETS TO BLOW OUT THE CANDLESSSS!!!”

Jeonghan: “SHUT UP ITS MY BABY’S BIRTHDAY! DON’T YOU BOTH DARE RUIN THIS FOR HIM OR ELSE I WILL SKIN YOU TWO ALIVE AND SELL YOUR SKINS AND USE IT AS MY CARPET!”


*on the way to the toy shop with the hip hop unit*

Mingyu: “I hate Seungkwan… he’s trying to steal my birthday…”

Scoups: “Okay ONE, your birthday is in April. TWO, it’s neither yours nor Seungkwan’s birthday, it’s DINO’s. THREE, we are already going to all the places you want to go so plea-“

Mingyu: “OHHH CAKE!” *runs to the bakery’s display window”

Scoups: “annnnddd I guess we’ll be buying Chan’s birthday cake first then” *sighs*

Mingyu: “CAN I EAT IT?”

Vernon: “No, it’s just for display, it’s not even real, it’s just made out of styr-“

Mingyu: *opens mouth*

Vernon: “Mingyu you can’t eat Styrofoam!”

Mingyu: “IT’S CAKE I’M GONNA EAT IT!”

Vernon: “IT’S NOT!” *attempts to take the display cake away*

Mingyu: “GET YOUR OWN CAKE VERNON THIS IS MINEEEEE!!!”

Vernon: “I DON’T WANT YOUR DUMB ASS CAKE I’M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE MAN!”

Mingyu: “IF YOU WANT TO SAVE ME THEN YOU SHOULD LET ME EAT THIS CAKE SO I WON’T DIE OF STRAVATION!”

Mingyu: *takes a bite*

Vernon: “Oh my god”

Mingyu: *chokes and collapses*

Wonwoo: “MINGYU!”

Scoups: “I knew this was going to happen someday”

Wonwoo: “Someone save Mingyu!!”

Vernon: “Okay hang on, let me google how to save someone who is choking on styrofoam”

Wonwoo: “Are you serious with me now?”

Vernon: “Why am I not getting any reception?!?!” *hits phone*

Mingyu: *coughs out white foam*

Wonwoo: “COUPS HYUNG!!!”

Scoups: “Hold on, hold on, I’m buying Dino’s cake, if I don’t buy it Jeonghan will either nag at me every single day until my ear bleeds and I die because of excessive bleeding or he will just take a knife and stab me until I die. And just between you and me, I think I rather have the latter”

Wonwoo: “But if you don’t do something now, MINGYU’S GONNA DIEEEE”

Scoups: “YEAH YEAH GIVE ME A MOMENT WONWOO”

Mingyu: *CHOKEESSSS*

Wonwoo: “AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT MINGYU?”

Mingyu: *nods head*

Vernon: “okay for once google was useless”

Wonwoo: “HELLO IS THIS THE HOSPITAL MY FRIEND IS CHOKING ON STYROFOAM CAN YOU- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IT ISN’T AN EMERGENCY? HELLO? HELLO??? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON MY CALL???!!!”

Mingyu: “W-won-woo”

Wonwoo: “Yes Mingyu?” *crying*

Mingyu: “I-I don’t think… I’m going to make it…” *chokes*

Wonwoo: “Don’t say that! You’re gonna live! I won’t let you dieeee!”

Mingyu: “Wonwoo…. If I die…”

Wonwoo: “Yes?” *cries harder*

Mingyu: “Please bring lots of food to my funeral”

Wonwoo: “Anything for you Mingyu, I’m sorry you had to leave this way…” *hugs gyu tightly on the floor*

Mingyu: *closes eyes*

Wonwoo: “NO MINGYU OMG DON’T DIE ON ME! THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS THAT I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME!”

Mingyu: “G-go-goodbye Wonwoo….”

Wonwoo: “I can’t believe… he’s…. gone….” *SOBS*

Scoups: “Oh look, they sell donuts here too”

Mingyu: *gets up* “WHERE?!?!”

Scoups: “Just joking, alright boys let’s go”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “B-but I came back from the dead for donuts….”

Vernon: “They said to wait for the person to cough first and if the person’s nails and lips starts to turn blue then you can stand behind the person and put your arms around his waist and make a fist with your hand and place it above his navel and then- “

Scoups: “He’s not choking anymore Hansol…”

Vernon: “Oh”

Wonwoo: “My life is a lie”


*meanwhile at the dorm with the vocal unit*

Jeonghan: “I’m going to blow up the balloons, Joshua and Woozi, you two will hang up the banner and posters, DK and Seungkwan can you set up the Karaoke set and games?”

Joshua: *grabs banner from the floor*

Joshua: “Woozi can you stop lying on the sofa and help me with this banner?”

Woozi: “Sure”

Joshua:

Joshua: “I’m waiting for you Woozi….”

Woozi: “Yeah continue to wait then”

Joshua: “Woozi I can’t hang this banner up alone!”

Woozi: “I’ll come help you as soon as Jeonghan cuts his hair”

Joshua:

Joshua: “That’s never happening…”

Woozi: “And so is me helping you hang that banner” *smiles*

Woozi: “I’m very glad we had this talk Joshua” *pats Joshua on the back and walks into bedroom*

Joshua: “Well first he forgets about my existence in the vocal unit and now this”

DK: “What games did Jeonghan hyung write down?”

Seungkwan: “According to this list…. We’re gonna play… hide and seek, musical chairs… and pin the tail on the donkey?”

DK: “What is this? A kid’s party?!”

Seungkwan: “DID YOU FORGET THAT HE THINKS DINO IS FIVE?”

DK:

DK: “In that case, that donkey better not be me”

Seungkwan: “That actually… doesn’t sound too bad” *evil plots*

DK: “Oh you know what? We should set up the Karaoke set first” *takes console out of the dusty box*

Seungkwan: “EW THE DUST”

DK: “It’s grosser than Mingyu’s snot bubbles”

Seungkwan:

DK: “Yeah you don’t want to know Kwan… you don’t want to know…”

Seungkwan: “Okay question”

Seungkwan: “Do I plug in the pink, blue or yellow plug into the TV?”

DK: “That’s a good question…. You know what? Let’s just try it all”

Seungkwan: *plugs the blue one in*

Seungkwan: “Nope not the blue one” *yanks it out*

Seungkwan: “Pink one?”

TV: *sparks up and makes hissing noises*

Seungkwan: “OKAY OKAY HOLY CRAP ITS NOT THE PINK ONE!!!” *unplugs pink one*

Joshua: “Hannie…. Can you get Woozi to do something? I still haven’t put up any posters”

Jeonghan: “Jihoon! Can you put up ONE poster please?”

Woozi: “No”

Jeonghan: “I see that you haven’t cleaned up your room since a week ago when I told you to, and also you haven’t been writing or composing any songs what have you been doing in your room? It’s becoming a pig sty, oh god have you been eating pizza in this room?! I told you to clean it up-“

Woozi: “Okay! Okay! what do you want me to do?!”

Jeonghan: “Help Joshie with the posters”

Woozi: *sighs*

DK: “ALL DONE”

Seungkwan: “LETS SEE IF ITS WORKING PROPERLY THEN” *switches it on*

DK: “Won’t Jeonghan scream at us?”

Seungkwan: “Oopsy too late” *clicks song*

*song starts*

DK: “PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME UP!”

Seungkwan: “I WANT YOU TO PICK ME UP!”

DK: “PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME”

Seungkwan: *dances to Pick Me*

DK: “I WANT YOU TO PICK ME-”

Seungkwan: *lets go of microphone and hits the TV screen*

DK:

Seungkwan: “oops”

DK: “Omg you broke the TV Seungkwan BOO”

Seungkwan: “I said sorry!”

DK: “NO you said oops”

Seungkwan: “Well oops means sorry!”

DK: *pushes kwan*

DK: “oops”

Seungkwan: “DID YOU JUST PUSH ME?”

DK: “I said oops which means sorry”

Seungkwan: *pushes seokmin making him knock over a glass over water and spilling it onto the karaoke console*

DK: “They are gonna freak out, both the karaoke console and the TV are fried”

Seungkwan: “Well it’s not our fault… it’s Jeonghan’s for putting two irresponsible kids to such difficult tasks”

DK: “Now the problem is… how and where shall we hide this?”

DK & Seungkwan: *looks at each other 

DK & Seungkwan: *quietly turns the tv off and puts everything into the store room*

Joshua: O.O

Joshua: “What the heck is that?!”

Woozi: “A dinosaur poster with Michael Jackson’s head on the Dinosaur’s body, I call it Michael Roarson”

Jeonghan: “Genius”

Woozi: “Dino likes Michael Jackson and he likes dinosaurs, so why not combine it into one and it’ll be the best poster of the century!”

Jeonghan: “You’re gonna give the child nightmares”

Woozi: “Yes! It’ll finally scare him enough so he’ll stop talking about Michael Jackson and I can sell them away and make tons of money, now step two of my plan is to find out where Chan keeps his limited edition MJ items”

Jeonghan: “Did you say something Jihoon?”


*meanwhile with the performance unit*

Dino: “Where have you guys been???”

Jun: “Walking?”

Dino: “You three said you wanted to watch this movie and told me to go buy it at 8 in the morning and which by the way only opens at 10am, I waited 2 hours just to get the ticket and another 2 hours for you all to walk HERE!!”

Hoshi: “Sorry Chan, we were busy listening to Jeongh-“

The8: *elbows hoshi*

Hoshi: “I mean listening to Jeonghan talk about his hair” *awkward laughs*

The8: “How about we treat to popcorn and snacks”

Hoshi: “You know since its your b-“

The8: *steps of hoshi’s feet*

Dino: “My what?”

Hoshi: “Owwieee Minghao!”

The8: “Sorry I thought I saw a bug and I wanted to kill it”

Dino: “Hyungs… you are acting weirdly…”

Jun: “My boy, when have you not seen us act normally?”

Dino: “You have a point there”

The8: “Dinosaur gummies for Chan!” *hands him a packet*

Dino: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS BETTER, THAT IT’S GUMMIES OR THAT IT’S SHAPED LIKE DINOSAURS” *hugs packet*

Hoshi: “Can I have one?”

Dino: “NO”

Hoshi: “Selfish brat I bought that for you! Do you think you’re the king just because its your bir-“

The8: *pours his cup of coke onto hoshi*

Hoshi: “AHHHHHHH IT’SSS COLLDDDDD”

The8: “Oops it just slipped out of my hands”

Hoshi: “Onto my head?!?!”

The8: “Yeah”

Jun: “Okay Chan let’s just leave the two weirdos out here and let’s go watch the movie, if anyone asks you, you don’t know them”

Dino: *nods head like a lil’ child*

*in the theatre*

Jun: “Do you feel cold chan?”

Dino: “Yes” *pouts as he chews on his gummies*

Jun: “Okay you can use my jacket” #mama jun mode on

Hoshi: “I’m cold too! Why isn’t anyone asking me if I’m cold?”

The8: “Because no one cares”

Hoshi: “UGH it’s not like you care about chan either, you’re just giving him special attention today because it’s his damn birt-“

The8: *whacks hoshi with his chocolate bar*

Hoshi: “OW MINGHAO!”

The8: “I can do this all day hyung”

Hoshi: “I miss Woozi…” *sobs*


*halfway through the movie

Dino: “Stop pushing me hyung!”

Hoshi: “Hush it child”

Dino: “Why are we going back to the dorm? We didn’t even get to finish watching the movie!”

Dino: *opens door*

Seventeen: “SURPRISEEE!!!”

Dino: *jumps in shock*

Dino: “I can’t believe you did all of this for me! A dinosaur cake oh my god, dinosaur balloons…is… is… is that a dinosaur poster with a michael jackson face on top of its body?!”

Jeonghan: “Erm… *looks at poster* … yes?”

Dino:

Woozi: “I did it, you better be happy”

Dino:

Dino: “I l-love it” *fake smiles*

Mingyu: *chokes and coughs out white styrofoam*

Dino: “Is…. Mingyu okay?”

Wonwoo: “Don’t ask Chan, some things are better left unknown”

Scoups: “I got you your cake do you like it?”

Dino: “YES it’s a giant dinosaur! Can I eat his head please?”

Joshua: “Hello Chan please look at the banner that I put up ALL BY MYSELF”

Woozi: “Joshua can you stop yelling, I’m just next to you. I’m not deaf”

Dino: “It says Happy birthday chan you’re finally…. five?”

Joshua: “Jeonghan thinks you’re five years old”

Dino: “Of course he does”

Jeonghan: “NUGU AEGI?”

Dino: “Not this again… hyung do I really have to?”

Jeonghan: “Yes”

Dino: “J-Jeonghan’s aegi” *mentally stabs self*

Jeonghan: “TIME TO SING YOU YOUR BIRTHDAY SONG!”

Seventeen: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DINO”

Jeonghan: “YOU MEAN BABY DINO DID YOU EVEN READ THE LYRICS I SENT YOU ALL?!?!?!”

Jun: “Frankly no”

Seventeen: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU” *claps hands*

Mingyu: *blows out the candles*

Jeonghan: “Seriously Mingyu what did I tell you?”

Seungkwan: “NOT FAIR YOU GUYS DIDN’T CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY I SHOULD BE THE ONES BLOWING OUT THE CANDLES WHY DOES MINGYU GET TO???”

Mingyu: “Because it’s my birthday!”

Seungkwan: “OH you really want to do this Kim Mingyu? Let’s see whose birthday it really is!”

Seungkwan: *cuts the cake and bites it*

Mingyu: *gasps*

Mingyu: “MY CAKE!”

Scoups: “YO DUDE THAT CAKE IS FOR CHAN!”

Dino: *cries*

Jun: “It’s okay Dino, it’s okay” *hugs the baby*

Mingyu: *runs up to poster with a marker and cancels chan’s name and writes his name instead*

Mingyu: “Now it says Happy birthday Mingyu you’re finally five!” *claps for self*

Seungkwan: *gasps*

Woozi: “I’m not the one who hung up the poster but I feel like I need to hit someone”

Seungkwan: *runs towards presents*

Mingyu: “Oh no I’m going to open them!”

Seungkwan: “Not if I get there first!”

Mingyu & Seungkwan: *starts ripping the wrapping paper*

Jeonghan: “WHAT THE HECK”

Mingyu & Seungkwan:

Jeonghan: “I TOLD YOU NOT TO RUIN HIS BIRTHDAY DIDN’T I?”

Mingyu: “But it’s my birthday”

Jeonghan: *grabs mingyu by the collar*

Jeonghan: “I will break everything that you love and care about”

Wonwoo: “Me?”

Jeonghan: “No, I’m going to break all the snacks he secretly hid in this dorm and throw them out of the window”

Mingyu: “NO NOT MY FOOD!!!”

Jeonghan: “THEN BEHAVE!!!”

Dino: “Oh well, it’s okay it was a fun birthday anyways, as long as we are together and not apart”

Joshua: “Awwww what an angel, you really are Jeonghan’s baby”

Vernon:

Joshua: “Y-you know ca-cause Jeonghan is an angel?”

Scoups: “I’m happy you had a good birthday Chan”

Dino: “I got to watch a movie with the performance unit hyungs, even though Hoshi and The8 kept fighting…”

Jeonghan: *glares*

Hoshi: “It was Minghao that hit me, stepped on me, poured his drink on me!”

The8: “That’s because Soonyoung kept mentioning Dino’s birthday!”

Hoshi: “What so you want me to lie???”

Dino: “And the hip hop unit hyungs bought me my favourite cake even though I haven’t tasted it…”

Jeonghan: *GLARES*

Seungkwan: “WHAT”

Vernon: “Now I’m fully equipped with the knowledge from google of how to save a person who is choking from styrofoam”

Wonwoo: “I wish you’re the one who is choking right now because no one would know how to save you”

Vernon: “What did I ever do to you?”

Wonwoo: “For not saving Mingyu”

Vernon: “I TOLD YOU ITS NOT ME! IT WAS THE RECEPTION OF MY PHONE!”

Joshua: “I still want to get rid of that phone so badly”

Dino: “And the vocal unit hyungs decorated the dorm so nicely… even if that Michael Jackson head is just pasted on the dinosaur’s body”

Hoshi: “Did my woozi do that? It’s a WORK OF ART!!! Can I keep it?”

Woozi: “I rather have Dino hate it and burn it then to let you keep it”

Seungkwan: “OKAY ITS TIME FOR GAMES! WE ARE PLAYING… PIN THE TAIL ON THE DOKYEOM!”

DK: “You mean Donkey”

Seungkwan: “No I mean Dokyeom”

DK: “Is that a real pin? With a sharp pointy tip? You can’t pin that on me!”

Seungkwan: *puts a blindfold on Chan*

DK: “What are you all just gonna watch?”

Dino: “Where is Dokyeom hyung? I can’t see” *swings arm around*

DK: *runs away*

Woozi: “Take three steps to your right, then five steps in front, he’s hiding in the corner of the house by the dining table”

Dino: *tries to pin it on Dokyeom*

DK: “AHHHHHHHH!!!! SOMEONE GET THIS CHILD AWAY FROM ME THIS IS A DANGEROUS GAME!”

Jeonghan: “YOU MEAN BABY HE IS A BABY EVERYONE GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT!”

Scoups: “Hold up…. Where’s our TV?”


phew that was a long one, I hoped you all enjoyed it :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE OH SO LIL’ ONE! :)

masterlist ✨

Read the previous episode: Seventeen going to a SHINee Concert

Types as annoying people in public transportation
  • ISTP: The sulking drunkard who crashes into people on their way out without apologizing
  • ESTP: The noisy as fuck drunkard who calls random people "bros"
  • INTP: The spaced out person who realizes it's their stop too late and dashes out stepping on people's toes
  • ENTP: The creepy person who's snickering to themselves about nothing
  • INFP: The stoner who's staring out of the window with a smile while eating a Mars bar with uncomfortably loud "mm"s
  • ENFP: The cheerful drunk who's singing Hakuna Matata off tune and urging people to join in
  • ISFP: The timid person who's too shy to ask the person next to them move away when they need stay off and sort of just push through without a word
  • ESFP: The person who's having a relationship crisis with their s.o and drags other people into it
  • ISFJ: The person who stands in the middle of the aisle in everyone's way because they don't want to take a seat needlessly since they'll stay off in a few stops
  • ESFJ: The person who's gossiping loudly about indecent subjects on the phone
  • ISTJ: The killjoy who tells everyone to be quiet and stop being a nuisance
  • ESTJ: The manspreader whose (imaginary) balls take two seats
  • INTJ: The angry grandma who starts complaining if someone doesn't give them a seat within two seconds they step on
  • ENTJ: The tense guy who glares at anyone who tries to sit next to them, as well as anyone who doesn't
  • INFJ: The person who has their music so loud everyone hears what they're listening to
  • ENFJ: The mother with a crying child they do nothing about
  • Dick: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the
  • FIFTH ANNUAL DRAKE DONUT GAAAAAAMES!
  • Tim: *stretches* Let's do this.
  • Bruce: Do what? *notices the two dozen donuts on the table* Tim. You're not actually going to eat that, are you?
  • Tim:
  • Dick:
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce: ...You CAN'T actually eat that, can you?
  • Tim: Not with that kind of attitude. *shoves two donuts in mouth*
  • Dick: Besides, it's too late to stage an intervention. AND HE FINISHES AN EIGHTH IN LESS THAN THIRTY SECONDS!
  • Bruce: *sighs*
  • Dick: THE CROWD GOES WILD!
  • Bruce: *leaves*
  • Tim: *chewing vigorously* Jealousy is ugly, Bruce!

captainjeclid  asked:

headcanon: after living together for a few months Lena picks up saying 'oh Rao' without realizing it and Kara thinks it's the cutest thing ever

Okay I had every intention of just responding to this but then I started typing and this happened!

They always say the more time that you spend around a person, the more likely you are to pick up some of their quirks. Lena thinks it’s a little stupid, to be honest, but then again she’s never really been around someone for very long.

Until Kara.

Lena feels like so many of the details of her life end that way.

‘Until Kara.’

She eats dinners alone.

Until Kara.

She has no one to spend the holidays with.

Until Kara.

She works entirely too late, and she even works from home on the weekends.

Until Kara.

So it really shouldn’t shock her when she starts picking up some of Kara’s habits.

She smiles more.

She has weird cravings for potstickers.

She hugs people now? Apparently?

Most of them happen so gradually that she doesn’t even notice, but occasionally she picks up one that throws everyone for a loop.

It’s game night, and they’re all gathered around the Monopoly board. Alex is winning out of sheer force of will, and in an odd turn of events Lena is dead last - one railroad and a hundred dollars to her name. It’s almost comical really, how horrible her luck is. She rolls doubles past go and collects her two hundred dollars, trying not to squeal as she picks up her chance card and earns another hundred. She rolls doubles again and lands on the edge of the Jail square, taking a deep breath as she rolls again.

Doubles.

“Oh Rao, I am not going to Jail again! I’ve been there practically half the game!”

She expects someone to make a crack about how she’s still losing, but when she looks up everyone is staring at her.

“What?” She asks self consciously. wiping at her lips to see if she’s still got smudged lipstick from her ‘popcorn making break’ with Kara.

“What did you just say?” Kara’s face is excited, the corners of her mouth darting up in a smile.

“Ummm.” Lena’s eyes dart around the room. “I’ve been in Jail for half the game?”

“Uhh unh, before that.” Kara is practically bouncing in her seat.

“I don’t want to go back?”

Kara shakes her head and breaks into a full on grin as her hands come up to clench in front of her face excitedly.

“You said 'Oh, Rao’, and it was the cutest thing ever!! I say that!! And now you say it!! And you didn’t even realize it!! Hashtag relationship goals!!”

“You two have officially reached the peak of rubbing off on each other, it’s sickening.” Alex groans

“Oh they’re 'rubbing off’ on each other all right.”

Everyone groans at Maggie’s joke and then Winn is picking up the dice for his turn. Lena doesn’t miss the way that Kara scoots a little bit closer though, or the way the smile doesn’t leave her face all night.

Maybe hanging around some one long enough to pick up their habits isn’t such a bad thing after all.