and it's just really stupid but funny

i hate when straight women w short haircuts come into my salon and start joking about having a lesbian haircut/requesting short hair that “doesn’t make them look like a lesbian LOL”

today a straight woman sat down and showed me the picture of the haircut she wanted and she was like “i showed this picture to my husband and he was like ‘wow are you gonna get a girlfriend now’ haha. i love him he’s so ridiculous”

i never know what to say. it feels weird, because i know they say these things to me under the assumption that i’m straight. i don’t know how i’m supposed to respond. “oh don’t worry, you definitely don’t look like a lesbian!” or “omg don’t worry i won’t give you a LESBIAN looking haircut haha”

i can’t just out myself and play along. i do everything in my power to prevent outing myself to any of my clients.

and it feels like some cruel joke is being played on me, like this is straight humor that women laugh about behind our backs. i mean i know it is. it’s just weird being a part of it. i don’t know how to ask straight women to stop joking about butch lesbian haircuts while they’re in my chair. i don’t know what to do when straight women laugh about looking like a lesbian, i don’t really know how to take that, like if it’s a joke at the expense women like me or just harmless commentary. i don’t know what to say, and i can’t bring myself to laugh along with them.

it’s not a subject i want to talk about. i know that makes me sensitive, but i’ve been through a lot of very traumatic experiences because i’m gay. it’s humiliating to perform a service for straight women who seem to think there’s something funny about people daring to think they might be gay

"The Types Based on my Experience" - an ENFP

INTJ
- Has too many extra curricular
- Low- key brags about achievements
- Will and won’t hesitate to roast someone.
- They type of person to read during lunch
- Books.
- Just a little bit clingy, but in the best way
- “Let me sleep— I only slept an hour last night.”


INTP
- Talks to them-self sometimes
- Likes to make random google searchers
- Master at BSing
- Why do they know so much about obscure concepts and theories?
- My random facts buddy
- “Have you heard of cerebropathy?”

ENTJ
- Tries to control me (for the greater good I guess)
- Great at logic puzzles
- If there was an apocalypse— I would want to paired with them.
- Seems like they got their life together
- A bit of a neat freak
- Will not deal with your shit, but will still help you?
- “I need more coffee to deal with all of you people.”

ENTP
-FITE ME
- Is super intimidating at first glance
- Secretly a softy
- will not hesitate to start a debate
- loves politics
- If you tell them a fact they ask where you got it
- Likes to read Edgar Allen Poe and romance novels
- “ Are you sure? Where did you read that?”

INFJ
- Nice friend
- Poker face
- Everyone thinks that they have chill
- has no chill
- Loves cats and babies
- Great listener
- Has too many feelings and bottles them up
- “OMG!!! I LOVE MUGS!!! I LOVE PURPLE!!!! LOOK AT THIS ITS A PURPLE MUG!!!!”

INFP
- Easily flustered
- Will hate you and you will never know
- Once you know them— they’ll argue with you about their opinions.
- Anime nerd
- Wears over-sized glasses
- Gestures a lot when talking
- Roasts me about everything
- Has an unhealthy obsession for cats
- Self deprecation 101
- “ I don’t know what your tal- *gestures and hits someone with arm*- OMG!!! I am so sorry.”

ENFJ
- Identity crisis all day everyday
- Likes to do power poses
- Will do random acts of kindness
- Knits
- Soft
- Really imaginative
- Will do stupid stuff to make a sad friend happy again
- You can’t not like them
- “A toast to spongebob and Bob Marley.”

ENFP (not me— another ENFP)
- Loves to art
- Procrastinates kinda(?). It just takes them a long time to do their work
- Is very smol
- Low-key manipulative
- Great at fake accents
- Has the voice of an angel
- Awesome dancer
- “ Oh look, it’s a birb. *makes chicken noises*”

ISTJ
- Is in all my advanced classes
- Gets annoyed with me really easily
- Likes to bake
- Has ten sources to back up one fact
- Will binge watch Crash Course
- Secretly loves bird memes
- Determined
- “Baking is a science. It isn’t just measuring and mixing— it’s watching the chemical re- *rants about for ten minutes*”

ISFJ
- Literally a cinnamon roll
- Are too caring
- Seriously they are going to get hurt one day
- Mom friend
- When they get mad everyone freaks out
- Will fight you if you hurt their loved one
- “Are you okay? Do you need a band- aid? I have a first aid kit in my backpack.”


ESTJ
- Law and order
- Is practically the teacher
- Strong moral base
- Does not tolerate lying
- Can see your soul
- Loves dark chocolate and hot chocolate
- Eats the same thing for lunch everyday
- Will lay down the law
- “I just told them to kindly leave me alone because their fake personalities were annoying me.”

ESFJ
- Will appear out of no-where
- Social Butterfly
- EVERYONE knows them
- Loves to sing, but is sadly tone deaf
- Can do really intricate pranks and succeed
- Teachers pet, but not nerdy in any way
- “Hi! My name’s ESTJ. What’s your weight— I mean, name?”

ISTP
- Loves workshop
- Is great at video games
- Everyone thinks they listen to punk rock, but they actually listen to Country music
- Can be bossy
- Likes to wear flannel
- Is really chill
- “I had one job, to finish my homework. Did I do it? Nope.”

ISFP
- Can’t art
- Can write like there is not tomorrow
- Can also play piano really well, but they never took lessons
- Have eyes filled with wonder
- Great at makeup
- Has good fashion sense
- Thinks shoes are a social construct.
- They have a bucket list written
- Has great stories
- “I once went to an upscale hotel and hijacked the penthouse level with my friends.”

ESTP
- Loves to play pranks and do stupid stuff
- Is flexible af
- Laughs weirdly
- Has the best ideas
- Smart, but really lazy
- p r o c r a s t i n a t i o n
- “Move I’m gay.”

ESFP
- Acts like they had five cups of coffee
- Really likes unicorns
- Is a theatre kid
- Wait for it…. they never stop quoting Hamilton
- Great at lying
- Really, really funny
- Loves everything smol
- Everyone loves them
- “Bill Nye the science guy– history has its eyeesss ON YOOOOUUUUUU.”

ppl who get called out and then scan their critics  for mildly ableist insults (ie ‘stupid’, etc) so they can go “WELL UH YOURE ABLEIST” are pathetic and its blatantly obvious that youre just trying to discredit your critics if you do that. bonus points if they arent even developmentally disabled but the ppl using those words are

— what 2 do | (m)

 pairing: kim seokjin x reader,  roommate! jin, college! jin
•  genre/warnings: smut, fluff, slight angst (more like over dramatics), 
•  words: 13,759
→ summary: what happens when the college roommate you thought was definitely going to be girl turns out to be the most gorgeous guy you’ve ever encountered in all your years of life? It’s a stupid misunderstanding on your part, but maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so bad after all…
•  note. this was a request from @immawhalien95 which took me an age to write haha, but it’s finally done and my plan to take over tumblr with Jin fics is taking shape…
•  p.s. listen to I feel you by wonder girls

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Aedion vs. swan
  • *in the kitchen*
  • Rowan: *sees Aedion with a black eye* What happened to you? Did you get in a fight with Chaol? Dorian?
  • Aedion: You won't believe me.
  • Rowan: Try me, tough guy. Now, where did you get the black eye?
  • Aedion: A swan.
  • Rowan: Excuse me?
  • Aedion: I was attacked by a swan. Okay? You happy? A stupid swan.
  • Rowan: *cough* Now how about the real story?
  • Aedion: That is the real story! It hangs out by the dock. I was just walking by and the thing came out of nowhere and BAM! Beaked me, right in the eye.
  • Rowan: It...beaked you?
  • Aedion: You still don't believe me.
  • Rowan: I just never heard anyone use the word beaked as a verb before.
  • Aedion: This isn't funny! That stupid bird attacked me! It could've blinded me! It's a vicious, vicious bird!
  • Rowan: ...
  • Aedion: Fine, forget it.
  • Aedion: *picks up ladle*
  • Rowan: What are you doing? Where are you going?
  • Aedion: I'm gonna do a little beaking of my own.
  • Rowan: Aedion, not the ladle. That's a brand new ladle! Take the baster.
  • *in another room*
  • Lysandra: *walks in, hair is still wet*
  • Aelin: Where have you been?
  • Lysandra: At the docks, took a swim. Played a prank on a really cute guy.
5

Bonus: The Misadventure of PB’s Poor Little Hat 

I’m sorry I forgot the snapbacks  (╥_╥)

Cursebreaker

Request: “Omg, I love your writing!! Anyways, if it is no problem, I was wondering if you could do a newt x reader Beauty and the Beast type thing? Idk I just thought it would be cool? It’s okay if you don’t want to or don’t have time to right it though!”

Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: None

A/n: so it’s a little different from the plot of beauty and the beast lmao bc I didn’t want it to be the same thing but I still did the whole beast/curse/love stuff :)

Originally posted by viktorfrankensteins

“You want me to do what?” You spurted, almost spilling your tea.

“Just give him a little peck, he loves being kissed!” Queenie’s forced smile was a little much for you.

You eyed the sleeping gargoyle-like creature that snoozed on one of the Goldsteins’ couches. Its skin was covered in grey warts that oozed down its green tinted skin.

“You’re telling me you regularly kiss that thing?” Your expression said it all. The sisters shared a disappointed look, their faces downcast. “Why don’t you get Newt to kiss him?” You huffed. He had been missing for a week now, and he had left this hideous beast in his place. Maybe it was to spite you, a way to tease you for being so foolish to have a crush on him. But he didn’t know about that, right?

“Newt’s-!” Tina almost shouted, but it was as if her mouth had been clamped shut by an invisible hand, the following words muffled.

“Newt really needs you to kiss this thing.” Queenie tried to maintain her calm demeanour, but the tips of her ears were growing red in impatience.

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I’m sure this has been done before but a star trek tng au where everything is the same except it’s in the style of the office

  • whenever riker or wesley does something dumb/ill-advised there’s a minute-long series of shots cutting from person to person on the bridge and they’re all staring into the camera So Exhausted
  • scenes in turbolifts where characters make comments about the current clusterfuck going on aboard the enterprise
  • geordi: “if this is another holodeck disaster I’m gonna [series of bleeps as he rushes out of the lift]”
  • tasha: “I wish people would stop asking me if I would kill will riker just for a chance at his GIRLFRIEND like, come on, people. The answer is YES, I’ve said it MANY TI-” (the camera cuts away because something just exploded)
  • guinan: “the gossip says this whole problem could have been avoided but somebody messed up” [quiet speaking from off-camera] “do I know who did it? well, yes, but I’m not here to tell tales”
  • worf: “it was wesley”
  • picard just wants his ship to run smoothly, ok?
  • so the captain’s interviews start out really insightful and well-spoken but by the end of every episode he’s just staring into the camera tiredly like “this was not the plan”
Long Distance (Chapter Four)

I cant wait to hear what you guys think of my au Bucky in this one! Hes sort of my favorite!


Thanks to everyone for rallying and getting all those notes on the last chapter, love to know you guys are reading and enjoying this! Love my readers!

I tried to add everyone who asked to the tag list, let me know if you want to be added!!!

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE!

Enjoy :)
**************

“Tony.” Pepper ran a comforting hand over his shoulder. “Tony, are you alright?”

“Just leave me alone.” Tony was alternating between scribbling nonsense into a notebook and staring out the window at nothing. “Nothings wrong, just leave me alone.”

“Did something happen with Steve?” She asked softly. “I know you’re not answering his texts anymore.” Tony flinched away from her and she sighed. “Oh Tony. I’m sorry. What happened?”

“He has a boyfriend.” Tony said bitterly. “A boyfriend. We were all ‘oh I missed hearing from you all day!’ And ‘sure wish we lived closer!’ And I asked him to meet up and–” the pencil in his hand snapped in half. “And he’s got a boyfriend.”

“Tony…” Pepper floundered for a second, trying to find the right words. “Maybe you misunderstood him? Surely he wouldnt be talking to you all this time and then–”

“I asked him to meet up for Valentine’s Day, and he said that Bucky couldn’t wait to meet me and that they had both wanted to see me for weeks.” Tony shrugged. “I didn’t sign up to hang out with a couple. I didnt want to be a third wheel. I know it sounds stupid but I thought Steve and I– I thought we were–” then he shook his head. “It’s stupid. Just texting. It’s not like we even talked on the phone or anything. I have no reason to be upset. Stupid.”

“But you’re sad, so it isn’t stupid.” Pepper ran gentle fingers through his hair. “You’re more upset about this than you were about Shawna.”

“Yeah, I guess I hoped men didn’t play games like women do.” Tony snorted.

“Hey.” Pepper tugged at his hair. “Every gender has their stupid moments, Tony. You just seem to attract them more than others.”

“Thanks for that.” Tony frowned at her, but leaned his head against her stomach anyway. “Will you stay and have dinner with me?”

“Of course.” She hugged him a little tighter. “Tony, of course.”
**********************

“He still isn’t talking to you?” Bucky put his bag down and crossed the living room, wrapping his arms around Steve’s shoulders.

“Nope.” Steve was staring dejectedly at his phone, slouched in the recliner. “I mean he texted me a few days ago, you know, telling me to lose his number but–”

“I’m sorry babe.” Bucky pressed a kiss to his temple. “We should have told him earlier. About us, I mean. You can’t blame him for being upset. Learning someone you like is in a relationship is tough on anyone. And when you first started talking, he had just been dumped, that’s why he had been having such a bad day remember? Hearing about you and I was probably just….” Bucky’s voice trailed off. “I mean, he would have been upset anyway, but more so considering how his last relationship ended.”

“I guess I assumed he would realize that you and I were together. Two guys eating dinner together, working out together… Sure I never came right out and said, but I didn’t think I had to. And it definitely didn’t occur to me that he would be upset that he’d stop talking to me.”

“You miss him.” Bucky said softly, and took the phone from Steve’s hand, moving so he could kneel between Steve’s legs. “Don’t you?”

“It’s so stupid.” Steve tugged his fingers through his hair in frustration. “It’s just texting, right? He has every right to be upset at me and I don’t really have a reason to miss him. Stupid.”

“It’s not.” Bucky ran his hands up and down Steve’s thighs comfortingly. “It’s not. I mean, I’m practically in love with the guy and I’ve only been reading over your shoulder. And if I miss hearing from him, I know it’s worse for you.”

Steve didn’t say anything, just leaned down until their foreheads touched and breathed a heavy sigh.

“Do you want me to try and call him?” Bucky offered then. “It’s been over a week, maybe he’s cooled down and would be willing to listen.”

“I don’t think—”

“Stevie.” Bucky brushed their lips together. “Honey, I want to talk to him too. I want to meet him too, remember? Just let me try.”

Without waiting for a reply, Bucky copied Tony’s number from Steve’s phone and hit ‘call’.

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5

They’ve met.

tbh one big reason i think it’d be cool if carrot joined the straw hats is that’d it’d do something to alleviate the dichotomy between the guys and the ladies on the crew??

like, nami and robin are completely different people from each other, and i appreciate and recognize that.  but it’s easy for ppl to lump them together as just ~the girls~ because of things like how they both almost never participate in crew gags, they’ll just be in the background eyerolling or looking bemused by most of the boys getting excited about things.  there’s this undercurrent of “oh you’re girls, you wouldn’t understand” when usopp, luffy, franky, brook etc get excited about robot stuff or whatever.

and that’s something you see from female characters so much: this misconception that the girls always have to be the voice of reason to the annoying, excitable boys who care about things “girls don’t care about” like NINJAS or ROBOTS.  

it doesn’t bother me thaaaat much because like i said, robin and nami are great characters and very unique from each other nonetheless, but still can you imagine how refreshing it would be to have a female crewmember who totally destroys that???

carrot participates in the gags.  she’s aggressive, she’s passionate, she’s reckless, she’s excitable.  she’d sure as hell start freaking out over a robot.  she’d be HAPPY to participate in something like pirates docking 6.

if she joined the crew, it’d force oda to stop separating the crew into “the boys who love cool stuff and are reckless!!!” and “the girls who just don’t get it” for gags, and idk, i think that’d be really nice.  the concept of girls being the rational ones and the voice of reason to the “”funny, stupid”” boys is a lot less grating and trope-y if one of the girls isn’t that way at all.  

Hack Job: Why Were Hacker Movies Ever A Thing?

Lately i’ve been thinking about that weird and almost completely failed subgenre of movie that attempted to light up the LCD screens of our hearts, but instead faded like a broken computer screen: the hacker film. Now, I could ask what good the sub-genre has ever done for us, but the answer to that is clear and just a few inches above this block of text. The genre birthed this iconic Matthew Lillard role from the movie Hackers, in which he plays a (wait for it!) hacker named…erm…Cereal Killer. Because….he likes Cereal? Sure, lets go with that! He’s a character described by June Diane Raphael on an episode of the podcast How Did This Get Made? as “Disgusting”, and she is not completely wrong. He is disgusting, bizarre and the strangest character Lillard has played, and i’m including Shaggy in the live action Scooby Doo films. He’s a character that must be experienced, and once experienced, never forgotten. I mean - you’ve seen what he fucking looks like. 

But my point remains: outside of Cereal Killer (I am bolding his name because he is an Important Man), the genre has offered up very little to the world. I admittedly know nothing at all about hacking, and I don’t care at all about Hacking, like, i’d presume, 90% of people currently residing here on earth. But I cannot imagine that people who love Hacking (or Hacker Fuckers, if you will) queuing up to see Hackers, a film that thinks this is what the internet looks like:

Now, i’m no city-slickin’ mouse-clickin’ hacker, but I don’t think that’s what the internet looks like. I could be wrong, and character actor Fisher Stevens (I was about to write “beloved” character actor, but then I remembered Short Circuit) could be skating through a flashing pillar of internet right now. It’s a cool thought! Hackers came along in 1995, when future optimism was higher than it had been in years, as everyone believed the tech-bubble would never burst (spoiler alert: it did!) and that the new millennium would bring a world of positive changes and possibilities. The poor, innocent souls of 1995 could never have possibly imagined the true horrors waiting for them on the other side of the millennium…

But before Fred Durst became a thing in a hat that you had to look at, technology was booming, affordable and exciting. You got transparent Macs that allowed you to see through into the mechanical nonsense inside it. The new fangled e-mail gave us (I don’t know why i’m saying “us”. I was 3 years old in 1995. Babies don’t get emails) all the opportunity to open your email and then close it again as many times as you liked! So this is what producers saw when they started making movies like Hackers. They put their strongest marketing minds together and came up with “People got computers now. Make comPUTER FILM!”. Those wild bastards actually went and did it! And weirdly, Hackers was kinda ahead of its time. It might’ve been wildly inaccurate in almost every possible way, but it paved the way for a wave of (well, like 3) films. The Matrix wouldn’t be released for another 4 years, and Swordfish a further 2. If it did incite a trend, it was the only trend started by Director Iain Softley, his later film K-Pax tragically failing to kick start a new genre of films in which Kevin Spacey eats bananas with their skins still on.

Good stuff! Hackers does feel like a film that is unsure of whether it’s trying to replicate fads or start them off. I mean, characters rollerblade everywhere for no apparent reason in the film. That might be something Hackers do? I’ve never seen Mr Robot, so I cannot categorically say that Rami Malek doesn’t rollerblade his way around town like a Starlight Express extra who really hates computers. But I doubt it. So with the rollerblading, and the way….ughCereal Killer dresses, it seems like the film is offering you up its own funky ideas that you could follow on from if you want to get murdered on the streets. Did its aesthetic style have influence? Was the game Jet Set Radio from 2000 and its rollerblading theme influenced at all by Hackers? Did Eminem see Johnny Lee Miller’s bleached blonde hair in the film (quick deeply important side note: his character is named Dade. DADE.) and think “huh. that would really compliment my insufferable personality!”? We’ll never know. The film is a weird exercise in style and trends, and the soundtrack, crammed with The Prodidgy and Underworld, is proof that at least the soundtrack department had its finger on the pulse. And, it could be argued that the film’s costume department at least came up with some creative cyber-punk clothing, and were bold enough to make Penn Jillette look like this:

The thing is, I liked the weirdness of it all, I like this misfires in capturing modern life, and inaccuracy doesn’t bother me really if a film is fun enough. I’m not a stickler for realism. I didn’t sit down to Face/Off and complain that it’s totally unbelievable that John Travolta is a human person. That’s not the issue. The issue, really is that with all the giant screen Playstations, pounding trance tracks and references to Coca Cola (weird, I thought Mountain Dew would be the Hacker’s choice), the film is in troubled water because of the fact that Hacking is unbelievably, deeply fucking boring. It is not interesting in seeing someone go clickety clack on a keyboard and make occasional faces to indicate that “oh no! the mainframe is busting my chops!” or “Huzzah! I clicked the mouse really fast just now!”.

Thankfully, the film has some fairly decent editing which intersperses the clickety-clacking with some long exposure, sped up shots of New York City just in case you forgot it was the 90′s. The fact that they need to cut away to exciting, zooming shots that have nothing to do with anything highlights the fact that the Director and Editor knew exactly what i’m talking about: HACKING IS FUCKING BORING (if you’re a hacker reading this, please don’t hack me). And they’ve built an entire film around it! A whole nonsensical plot which involves (as far as i can remember) big ships and evil corporations that want to sink the big ships is built on Hacking. Thank god this film is so wildly ridiculous, which keeps it from being entirely boring. It’s smart in that it knows to not make the film actually about hacking, but then you kind of ask yourself the question: why is this film about Hacking at all? Why is it called Hackers? Maybe a better name would’ve been ‘Bladin’ Teenz’, as an ode to their endless rollerblading. It’s a fun film, but a dumb film and proof that films entirely about hacking cannot really work.

The Matrix was a wise film. Exploiting that hip, late-90s techno excitement that everyone was buzzing over, it featured a hacker at its centre who really doesn’t do much hacking at all. In fact, Morpheus might as well have said “You Hack? Dude fucking grow up. Come on, i’ll make you a treat”. Sure, you’ve got the iconic green gibberish that turns up on the computers and would inspire a million shitty screensavers, but again the hacking is intercut with other action going on in the film. You have characters typing away and yelling shit like “I’m nearly in!” or “i’m not nearly in!” or “I am unsure of whether I am, in fact, in, nearly in, or not nearly in!”. But that is manageable and minimal, and in the end there’s so much more to remember about The Matrix that I don’t think anyone, when asked what it’s about, would say “Oh it’s about Keanu Reeves hacking on his dell”. It understood this caveat, and created its own style which would influence every single music video ever produced over the next 5 years.

These are screenshots from the video for Don’t Wanna Let You Go by 5ive, a very bad UK Boy-band that had 4 singers and 1 rapper, all of whom it’s safe to assume have passed away. 

The Matrix had the style, and the smarts to sidestep bland hacking scenes. You know what film doesn’t understand that hacking is boring? Fucking Swordfish.

Fucking Swordfish. A film so aesthetically ugly and repulsive in every way that it does the unthinkable and makes you hate Hugh Jackman. But it commits the biggest sin of all by giving John Travolta a teeny tiny beard - a decision which we still feel the fallout from today, whenever a new red carpet photo arrises of John’s new chin abomination. 

Looking like a cup of concentrated Michael Bay piss, the film leans heavily into stylishness - or lack thereof. Hugh Jackman is basically…sighDADE in the movie, and Travolta is regularly outfitted with funny sunglasses. It borrows a lot from Hackers, but while that had a naive, 1995 goofy charm, Swordfish is an aggressively stupid and oblivious movie, that gives us a LOT of Hacking. Like…so much Hacking. The Most Hacking. Oh, The Fucking Hacking. Its a reminder of just how boring Hackers or The Matrix could’ve been if they’d fallen into the wrong hands, and a big, horribly colour-corrected reminder that films about hacking really aren’t the best. Instead of cutaways of cityscapes, Swordfish tries to build the tension during one hacking scene in the grossest way possible: by having Hugh Jackman’s character receive forced fellatio while he works, and while John Travolta smiles. It doesn’t make a boring scene exciting, it makes a boring scene fucking disgusting (the movie’s grossness doesn’t stop there. Halle Berry was heavily pushed into taking her top off in the movie, and promised extra money if she did it.). The Hackers method of randomised cutaways feels a million miles away during these scenes, and you will be willing to pay any earthly sum to make the scene unfolding in front of you stop. Maybe that’s how hackers should make their money from here on in: stop hacking, and just start blackmailing people by forcing them to watch Swordfish. Fucking Swordfish.

The movie was also a bit of a death knell for a subgenre that never really took off. People realised “Oh, this is dull and crap to watch!” when it came to hacking, and technology moved on rapidly that there was a lot more to do with it than watch some guy slapping the keys of his iMac. I find it a really interesting subgenre to look back at, because i’m a huge fan of outdated technologies, fashion styles, turn of the millennium culture, and really quite poor films (besides The Matrix which holds up nicely). Hollywood has tried to make a manner of subjects interesting. Stock markets. Fishing. White people who buy zoos. Some work, some don’t, and it’s all about the way the subject is handled. Because of their reliance on technology, these hacking films feel so dated that maybe Hollywood doesn’t want to risk dipping its toes back into the cyberwaters again. I kind of hope they don’t, because I would literally rather never see a film again than have to even know that a film about Anonymous is being made. I don’t want an ‘edgy’ modern movie that’s made for Banksy to watch while he plunges his hands down his pants and goes to town. I want silly old Cereal Killer and towers of nonsense computer language dammit! I want rollerblading, coke-drinking cyberpunks! Oh well. Whatever happens to the genre, at the very least, we’ll always have Dade and The Gang….

BJoo Time~!

BJoo goes first for a couple of reasons. He sat directly with us from the beginning - Laira was actually sitting next to him for the entire start of the meal, until Hansol literally forced him to switch places. He spoke a lot of English - a LOT of English, which was a pleasant surprise. I know in live streams and stuff previously he’s asked fans to speak in Korean, but he’s been working really hard, and it’s showing. He joked around a bit and used an American accent a few times, and he spent most the meal wriggling around.

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So apparently I have a history of sleep talking - but not just sleep talking but full in depth intelligent conversation about whatever topic with people while not actually awake. Not only that but there will be times where I appear full awake (eyes open), get up and walk around, use the bathroom, but not actually be awake what so ever.

I’m convinced I’m two people. There’s me while awake and then there’s sleep talking me and I feel like one of them is becoming self aware… Who is the real one? Addition to such a story… I once told Donald Duck to fuck off because he stole my ice cream. I was like 10 if not younger.

ha sungwoon - demigod!au; apollo

Originally posted by woojinnies


  • he thinks hes cool but in reality hes a loser/dork 
  • is best friends with noh taehyun from the hermes cabin and they’re both loving playing pranks
  • like during capture the flag, they’re in charge of setting traps but they do more then just set simple traps
  • they always do stupid things like leave a trail of whoopee cushions in the river and it pissed off guanlin, the child of hephaestus, so much that he burned the ends of their shirts
  • they tried to prank the demeter cabin by mowing the roof but it would just grow back on its own??? and the two of them are extremely confused but they keep trying to mow it?? 
  • and thats when you come out you’re even more confused
  • “uhm, excuse me, what are you guys doing to our roof??” 
  • “we just thought the grass on your roof was getting long!” sungwoon laughed 
  • “so were mowing it!” taehyun finished 
  • “why? it’s just gonna grow back? its charmed?”
  • it doesn’t help that you’re a newer camper too so you’re just really really confused at this point 
  • and your head counselor, lee euiwoong comes out angrily 
  • “leave our roof alone! you always do something stupid to our home okay just go away our mom ended up charming it you idiots, we’re gonna end up planting velociraptors if you keep going up there”
  • and they’re snickering as they come down but you’re kinda just ???? like whats so funny ??? 
  • when you have that confused look on your face sungwoon frowns and hes about to speak but euiwoong got a head start 
  • “those two are the stupid pranksters of this camp. i mean all the hermes campers love to pull pranks but these two just get so into it. just ignore them” euiwoong rolls eyes and is about to push you in the cabin to finish the tour 
  • “god you demeter kids are soo booooring, laugh a little jeez” taehyun starts 
  • “but i don’t get it, whats funny??” your face is deadpan is too. 
  • euiwoong hold his laughter but taehyun can see him grinning and glares at him 
  • sungwoon kinda just sits their, a little distracted, cause you’re just kinda, sorta, really, jeongmal jeongmal jinjja daebak real heol wanjeon pretty. 
  • like flowers are literally blooming behind you and there’s a flower in your hair as tradition of all demeter new comers
  • “c’mon lets go sungwoon, euiwoongs being a meanie again” taehyun sticks his tongue out at him 
  • did i just start a euiwoong and taehyun ship??
  • and sungwoon is just looking behind him, watching you go back into the demeter cabin as hes getting dragged away mumbling an “uh oki” 
  • and hes just sorta mesmerized by your beauty like omg he’s such a day dreamer but obviously you would never ever notice him
  • oh but honey boi u do
  • you noticed him at the campfire one night and he has such a sweet voice when he sings, like it was so soothing that you almost fell asleep on euiwoong’s shoulder 
  • he saw you with your eyes closed and he almost had a heart attack, was he making you fall asleep??? was his voice that boring?? 
  • the next time he sees you, you and the entire demeter cabin were harvesting the strawberries 
  • he watches you patiently wait for the strawberries to grow as you use your chlorokinesis
  • “if you can control the plants, why are you going so slow??” he asked bluntly, squatting next to you 
  • “because its healthier for the plant, if i rush, i might rip out roots, especially since i’m harvesting” you mindlessly input, not bothering to look at who it was 
  • you picked out one of the berries and offered one to him and that’s when you guys meet eyes and you realize who it is
  • your heart is banging against your cracking ribs
  • hes slightly flustered because your noses are just about to touch 
  • both of you red face step back and you just go back to your strawberries
  • he notices how awkwardly balled up you are now, hugging your knees as you raise the strawberry stems 
  • “w-why are you here again? here to attempt so pull a prank? steal strawberries and give them away? even though that’s our intent??”
  • awe u smol bean gettin all nervous 
  • “no i came to visit you” he smirks, his cocky apollo side is showing and you’re blushing all over again 
  • but euiwoong had already prewarned you, telling you to stay away from the aphrodite and apollo boys as they are just a bunch cocky fuck boys that love playing with people’s feelings
  • and euiwoong was definite that sungwoon was not an exception 
  • “that’s sweet of you,” you just blandly respond, hiding your true colors
  • he’s scrunching his nose, highly unamused by your mild tone 
  • “stop being so boring” he huffed and got up and trotted off in his puff of arrogance 
  • and you just shrug it off 
  • but he comes back because honestly he’s such a little pup and he really wants your attention
  • so you’re carrying a huge basket of strawberries to the big house while the rest of your siblings go off to the mess hall to fed everyone else
  • and as your walking, sungwoon walks by your side, taking strawberries from your basket 
  • “stop,” you tug the basket away from him, pouting “these are for mr.d and chiron” 
  • and you were so cute he didn’t even bother to argue and just nodded
  • and hes reaching for the basket and you pull away, looking at him with disbelief
  • “i literally just tol-” 
  • “calm down, i’m helping you carrying the basket idiot” he snatched the basket from you
  • and your red again, stomach fluttering with butterflies and fingers fidgeting 
  • but when you get to big house he leaves the basket on the porch and steals a berry 
  • you’re about to scowl him but hes already off running with the biggest grin on his face and a berry between his lips 
  • when he turns around you can’t help but touch your warm cheeks as a small smile spreads across your face
  • and as he biting the strawberry his flushed cheeks are redder than the fruit itself
  • he starts to wonder if your lips are that sweet probably are tbh 
  • the next encounter is at the stables as you’re cleaning the pegai as punishment 
  • you may or may not have been on the big house porch and accidentally wondered how big a bean stalk was and grew one through the roof
  • you notice that there’s only one golden white one which, its pretty, but yea just one?? why is he so special ?
  • and guess who’s about to go a pegasus ride??? sungwoon!!
  • and he sees you and slyly walks over to you, leaning against the low wall that surrounded the pegasus, 
  • “i see that you’re cleaning my pegasus, solace.” he smirks “that’s too kind of you” 
  • you just rolled your eyes explaining your situation which led to him bursting into laughter, making fun of you 
  • “you’ve been here for how long??? and you still can’t control your powers?” he snorted 
  • hes lucky your’re patient
  • instead of continuing his teasing, he starts climbing the pegasus and offers a hand
  • you, with your hair stuck on your face, dirt smeared on cheeks and a dirty brush in your hand, is confused all over again 
  • why is he so c o nfu s ing  ???
  • “c’mon, lets go on a ride” 
  • “i’m kinda not allowed to, ya know cause i’m in trouble” 
  • “you’re doing it again, you’re being a boring demeter kid.” 
  • you didn’t have time to fight back since he threw the brush out of your hand and pulls you onto the pegasus 
  • “hang on!” he’s joyfully laughs as you slightly squeal and you guys fly out
  • in the sky, there is a brief calm silence, eyes closed, wind tangled within your hair 
  • and you finally sigh and ask him 
  • “why are you doing this?” 
  • hes avoiding your glance as he mumbles into his reins 
  • “i dunno,,,,,” 
  • he’s not used to liking someone, feelings feel kinda foreign to him 
  • he’s used just checking girls out, think they’re fine af and that’d be it
  • you made him feel soft and chummy in the inside, and he just wasn’t to used to it, almost afraid of it
  • and you just sigh and your grip around his stomach tightens and your cheeks rest against his back 
  • “thats fine, i’ll just wait” 
  • blushies on both ends!!!!! 
  • and you he settles the pegasus back at the stables and (lucky you!!!) you don’t get caught 
  • and he just awkwardly stutters away, but of course not without giving you a small smile 
  • god he’s such a sleaze, but hes so cute?? can i really betray euiwoong’s warning 
  • and so you guys resume your daily lives once again, occasionally speaking to each 
  • whenever you passed him when he was with taehyun, you could see the boy nudging sungwoon while snicker and giggling 
  • omg and taehyun would the obnoxious ‘heeEELLlllLLOOOOO y.n!!!!!” 
  • but one day, one of your demeter sister tells you about how she really likes sungwoon
  • “like he’s so sweet, he helped me up the climbing wall when it was my first time and he eve-” 
  • and just keeps rambling and you’re forcing you smiles and lot of over excited “uh huhs”
  • and you kinda throw yourself into a black hole and get slightly insecure 
  • because she’s so perfect for him there’s no way he could possibly like me if he could have her or just anyone else, so many girls are willing to do so much for him anyways forget him omg sungwoon isn’t worth 
  • and so as you walk through camp now, you avoid his gaze, you don’t clean up the stables, you dont even bat an eyelash at the apollo cabin anymore 
  • of course he notices i mean the boy stares you 24/7
  • and he panics 
  • he thinks he did something wrong so he ends up asking taehyun to ask euiwoong what the heck is going on
  • and when euiwoong just utters the first syllable of his name, you just roll your eyes, admitting defeat and agreeing that sungwoon is bad news; he just has way to many girls on him
  • and euiwoong’s like goddamnit but he isn’t omg why can’t you listen to me now the boy likes you !!!!!!
  • but he obviously can’t say that now so instead he’s like 
  • “well maybe you can give him a chance??” 
  • “that doesn’t matter anymore, he’s too popular, and plus he needs someone who would be willing to go wild with him, someone who would hop fences, sneak out in the middle of the night, climb the highest trees, and steal strawberries with, not someone boring demeter kid” 
  • euiwoong: fuck
  • but at least the camp leader managed to get you to go to dinner !! in one piece !! in a kinda sloppily lw mess !!!
  • this continues for the rest of week
  • taehyun has had enough of panicked sungwoon and euiwoong is getting sick of depressed you
  • so the two of them decide to sit next to each other in hopes to lure their partners together
  • you arrive first and you’re good at blocking out your feelings so you just keep it casual, greeting euiwoong and taehyun 
  • someone how it didn’t correlate with you that taehyun = sungwoon 
  • so when sungwoon sat down it got awkward
  • the tension was tHIcK
  • you cleared your throat, feeling uncomfortable you got up and excused yourself 
  • taehyun nudge sungwoon and he hurriedly runs after you 
  • you’re speed walking towards the cabin but sungwoon easily catches up to you 
  • “wait wait y.n please wait” 
  • so take a deep breathe and turn towards him 
  • “yes, whats up” 
  • “did i do something wrong, you’re avoiding me” 
  • “i’m not avoiding you, and you did nothing wrong” 
  • “okay, then talk to me” 
  • “i’m just trying to get over you because i know someone else is better for you okay?” 
  • you both can’t believe that you just confessed, now you really can’t look him in the eyes
  • and you’re about to escape into your cabin but he’s already engulfed you in his arms 
  • “why would you ever think that??” 
  • he sighing into the back of your shoulders. 
  • and you’re sighing too, feeling his warmth surround you
  • “you knew i liked you, so why would you bother?” he asked 
  • and now you’re red, he liked you ???? 
  • and he laughed and flicks you on the forehead 
  • “don’t ever doubt yourself again, i like you, and it doesn’t matter if someone else likes me or they’re a supposed “better fit” for me okay?” 
  • i’m not crying ur crying
  • now you guys do everything together
  • he takes you on pegasus rides, helps your harvest eats all the strawberries 
  • he still plays pranks on you every once in a while but they’d be really cute 
  • her once charmed your blanket into a garden and your freaked out cause you were like omg wheres my bed 
  • even euiwoong was in on it was cracking up him and taehyun are exchanging high fives
  • he’s been exposed to world of pranks
  • it turned out to be some 3d blanket the hermes and hephaestus cabin was working on 
  • well they wanted real life fire but sungwoon modified it to become a garden cause fire kinda scares you
  • he figured out the coding to add roses and would change it that when he was just feelin some lovin 
  • and when you get hurt he’s immediately there, since he has vitakinesis 
  • you’ve definitely became a little bit of a daredevil now that you’ve been dating him
  • he snuck you out after curfew once and you guys climbed up a tree to watch the stars and just talked 
  • you giggled when he told you how he’s super cautious when he walks around camp now, afraid of stepping on the flowers 
  • “you know, its like having a pet pig and eating pork” 
  • “so i’m your pet pig now?” 
  • “nOOO” 
  • and it’s past 12 and hes tired and tired sungwoon means clingy sungwoon 
  • he doesn’t let you go when you guys make it to the demeter cabin
  • you end up having to drag him into the cabin, praying that no one was awake 
  • and you guys snuggle under the sheets, legs tangled and noses bumping
  • he hums a simple song into the back of your neck which helps you fall asleep
  • and when euiwoong finds you both in your bed all cuddled up the next morning, he sighs
  • yall lucky he’s the one doing cabin inspection today
  • sungwoon is literally the sun to your flower
no one would know the sound of a ghost

in which nico hates his neighbours until one of them shows up at his door claiming his apartment is haunted, and he requires a partner in ghost busting. 

word count: 5228

read on ao3

::

Nico, so far, has not had much contact with his new neighbour, dubbed currently as ‘Will from next door’ and that’s exactly how he likes it.

Their current encounters start and end with the following:

1.   Will moving in just as Nico leaves for work. Headphones in. Minding his own business. His eyes accidentally meet in the lift with who he assumes is the guy moving in from the impractical amounts of boxes he’s holding. Will says, with too much enthusiasm for nine in the morning, “hi! I’m Will”. Nico smiles, and doesn’t say anything because he can’t remember how to formulate words.

Keep reading

The best thing about antis is how hypocritical they are.
Like, no one can say they’ve never shipped anything problematic.
Of course I don’t think shidge is problematic, I don’t think any of the shaladin or piladin ships are. Pidge can protect themselves, they’ve shown their strength and worth multiple times.
I’ve seen people against shaladin/piladin and they ship like Eren and Levi or like Light and L, both ships with an age gap much like what anti’s believe shaladin/piladin have. No one cared then. How about the america and england shippers out there? No one cared.
What I’m saying is, unless voltron is your first ever TV show you’ve watched and had ships in then chances are you’ve shipped something problematic before. You don’t get to pretend that you are holier-than-thou and that you get to police what other people can and cannot ship. Death threats aren’t funny or cute and aren’t helping anyone.
You scream that you’re helping people when really you’re just shaming people behind a computer screen about fictional characters. It’s childish behaviour,
Its very us centric,
Its falsifying claims against people who have ultimately done nothing wrong since none of their ages have been confirmed (and I swear to fuck if I get a message saying “but the wiki says-!” I’m going to scream, the wiki is fan run and can be fucking changes you fucking ingrates)
And honestly, its just stupid.
The entire fight against pedophilia in the voltron fandom is fucking stupid.
You aren’t helping anybody by being an anti. You’re just being annoying and rude and hurtful.
You demonize Shiro’s character, you erase Pidge’s character, and you soil the rest of their characters with a black and white world view.
None of the paladins ever though that someone who looked as old as Katie was undatable. None of them have ever doubted Pidge as a strong, capable, and responsible member of the team.
None of the paladins have ever feared Shiro and Shiro has NEVER harmed a hair on any of the other paladins heads.
Just because there’s an age gap(if there even is one) it doesn’t mean that Shiro would EVER abuse, manipulate, force, or otherwise harm any of the other paladins or Allura. He loves them dearly and has shown that he would do anything to protect them and they would do the same.
He is the leader of Voltron. The trusted, kind, understanding pillar of leadership that all the other paladins respect. Hes nearly died for Pidge on numerous occasions. He trusts their input and believes in their abilities.
If we as a fandom can trust shiro as a leader and trust pidge and the other paladins as members of the ficking defender of the universe, why the hell do we care who they decide to date??
tl;dr: I’m sick and tired of going into my ship tag and seeing a million posts from crying babies screaming at people for shipping something they just don’t like. If you’re an anti, don’t flatter yourself; you aren’t helping anyone and you’re just a self riotous bully.