Years ago I worked in a hardware store. There was a regular customer that would come in maybe twice a week. All the staff members recognized his truck in the lot and we’d all do our best to scatter so we wouldn’t have to deal with him.
So this old fart (mid 60s I reckon) comes in one day and his first step in the door is a loud WHOOP noise, almost as if to announce his presence. I manage to duck away and help another customer and avoid him.
He winds up getting one of our managers to basically escort him around the store for an hour and a half, getting super hung up on industrial strength water hoses and their appropriate warranties.
After his self imposed tour, he settles on a 70 dollar hose, pressing “ITS GOT A LIFETIME WARRANTY RIGHT? MEANING FOREVER?!” And we concede to him. He pays, he leaves.
Thirty minutes later, his run down ol Ford truck comes screeching into the parking lot like a bat out of hell, and he gets out with this mutilated water hose in his hands and he looks about ready to spit bees.
He walks in, throws this mangled and dirty mess of what was once a hose on my counter and shrieks
“YALL SAID IT HAD A LIFETIME WARRANTY. I TOOK IT HOME AND RAN OVER IT WITH MY BOX BLADE AND NOW ITS RUINED AND I WANT MY MONEY BACK.”
In desperation, I deferred to the manager again who simply did not know how to handle the situation given to us.
He wound up throwing such a fit he got a full refund despite deliberately ruining his own purchase. Right after he walked outside he dropped trou and had himself a whizz in the middle of the parking lot.
To this day I’ve never run into anything quite as unique.