and it worries me how much kendalls girl voice turns you on

Remorse.

or… harry regrets breaking y/n’s heart

category: angst

I miss you.

His mouth is dry as he stares down at his phone, thumb hovering over the arrow that’ll send the text he’s longing to mail. With another deep breath, he studies the message over again, then begins to question himself. Should I write more? She deserves an apology. Maybe the word crave instead of miss. Yearn for? He deletes the text but retypes it in the same moment.

He’s never felt guilt this deeply before, he’s never so desperately wanted to turn back time and change everything– rephrase all of his words differently. Do things differently. The thought of him not being able to go back and change things hits him like a ton of bricks, sending his short nails into the palm of his hand.

A clap on his shoulder wakes him from his thoughts, and he looks up with attentive eyes. “Ready to go?” Jeff laughs, tucking his heel into the back of his shoe. “Reservations don’t hold themselves.”

“No, yeah.” he rushes, tucking the locked phone into the back pocket of his jeans. “Let’s go.”

“It’s my fucking job, y’know that, we’ve been through this a million times before. Get over it, angel.”

She scoffs in disbelief, untying the silk scarf from around her neck. “Get over it? Get over it. Over my boyfriend of nearly a year not telling anyone about our relationship—?“

“The media would go insane I- fuck I told y’this—”

“I’m not asking you to tell the world, Harry! Maybe your mom, your sister? My family? I’ve been lying to them for way too long, keeping an enormous part of my life away from them how’s that supposed to make me feel? Do you know how distressing it is to be introduced as a friend to you? To not tell anyone, not even my best friend how much you mean to me?”

“Y’do know it’s like that for me as well? A relationship is consists of two people—”

“Not that I’d know.”

Keep reading

Don't worry.

Heyy, I finally had time to write again. I know I have a lot of requests to do but I feel like I have to get my ideas out there right now, I’m sorry. I hope you like this though. Thank you for reading.xxx

She was proud of him.
She really was.
Of course she was, how could she not?
Harry was doing everything he always dreamed of doing and what he did was the most amazing thing ever. He filmed a movie, recorded an entire album and now his face is printed on countless magazines.
She knew he would do good but she could have never prepared for what was happening now. He was jetting between America and London, with a short stop in Paris. He was busy having meetings to figure out his next plans, especially the tour that would take him all over the world. And then there were the interviews…
Those were probably the worst for Y/N right now but not because he had to leave early in the morning to attend them on time, no. It were the questions he’s been asked.
She knew the questions would be different now because he was solo now and doing everything on his own without three boys by his side that caught the attention of the interviewer as well. But she never thought that the main topic of every interview would be his love life.
He talked about his first girlfriend ever, then Taylor Swift, then Kendall Jenner and then he wrote a song about a girl he met one goddamn time and apparently her name was Townes.
She was okay with all that before, she knew he’s been with other women before her but somehow she couldn’t help but be upset.
Harry and her were dating for a year now. A year which she thought was a happy, joyful and fun year in which they learned to love and cherish each other.
But apparently she didn’t matter to him all that much.
He didn’t talk about her even once. Not when the question came up how he’s doing privately. Not when he’s been asked who supported him while working so hard. Not when he’s been asked what the inspiration for his songs was.
And that was probably the worst. He wrote nothing about her, not a single line. There was a song about how empty and heartbroken he felt when Taylor and him broke up, there was a song about how good that stranger felt and there was a song about whoever was his only angel, it wasn’t Y/N for sure.
And even though she knew it was silly to be upset about something like that she couldn’t help it. The words he once said to her when she asked how he wrote songs kept replaying in her head.

“S'different every time. But I always write about people I love or times which been very important to me.

And every time she remembered his words she felt a pang to her heart.
He told her he loved her so many times and she knew he did, she was 100 % sure he did. And she also wasn’t worried about him cheating or whatever, she knew she was the only one for Harry. She was just maybe a tad bit jealous and sad. It was his decision what he wanted to weite about, of course, and he wasn’t obligated to write about her just because she’s his girlfriend but… it would have been nice.


Harry just got home and even though she missed him and just wanted to jump into his arms when she saw him looking all soft in that plain white shirt that was see through from the hundred times it’s been washed, she resisted. She got the last little push she needed earlier when she read comments online and everyone was talking about who and what the lyrics to his songs were about. No one believed it was about her.
“Hello, angel.” he greeted her and kissed first her forehead and then her cheek softly.
She responded with a humorless laugh and turned her face away from him to look at the ground. Angel. Ironic.
“You okay?” Harry asked her and lifted her chin to make her look at him.
“Great. Absolutely perfect.” she smiled so fake at him that anyone from afar could have seen that she was not in a good mood.
“Love, what’s going on? I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me.” he sighed impatiently.
“You can’t fix it anyway, it’s too late now.” she spat.
Harry took a step back from her when the coldness of her voice hit him. His eyes widened with shock and his mouth opened slightly.
“Did I do something?”
“Oh, no.” she waved him off.
“Then wha-”
“And that’s exactly the problem.” she interrupted him.
“What?” he asked confused.
His eyes had a bewildered look to them, flicking over her face and never knowing where to look.
“Did I forget something? It’s not your birthday and it’s also not our anniversary.”
“You forgot me.”
“What? Love, I have no idea what’s going on right now.” he almost cried out.
“Am I important to you?” she asked.
“Of course you are. You’re the most important person on this whole earth to me, baby.”
“Then why don’t you acknowledge me?”
“What? I do acknowledge you.”
“Yeah? When?”
“All the time.”
“No you don’t. When did you acknowledge me during your interview with the Rolling Stone Magazine? Most certainly not when you told them that you remember what your first girlfriend smelled like and how much you loved her. And also not when you told them how the main inspiration behind your album was Kendall Jenner. Oh, and your songs? I don’t think I broke your heart and your just a ghost now and I also don’t think my name is Townes!”
Harry’s eyes widened with shock by every word she spoke.
“Y-You’re jealous?” he asked, his voice shaky and filled with panic.
“I’m not jealous! I’m hurt!”
Harry squeezed his eyes shut when realization hit him. He didn’t realize what he had done before. He wasn’t forgetting her in any of this, he thought about her every second of every day and it was never his intention to hurt her.
“I never meant to hurt you.” he whispered and tried to reach out to grab her hand but she ripped it away from him immediately.
“Well, you did. You made me question everything, Harry. I even wondered if you feel the same way about me that I do about you.”
“Of course I do! You know that I love you. I love you more than you could ever imagine.”
“Doesn’t feel like it right now, if I’m being honest.” The pain that her words caused almost made him cry. He never ever wanted to make her doubt the love he had for her.
The truth was he didn’t know why he did it. He made it his mission from day one to keep her away from the media as much as he could. He wanted her to feel safe and comfortable around him and not worry about the options of others or what’s being said about her. He assumed he did a very good job until now and he never thought it would get to be an issue.
He wanted to keep their relationship private. Obviously, everyone knew they were together but he wanted to keep the rest away from the public eye. What they had was between the two of them and no one else.
“Love, you know how I am when it comes to you. I want to protect you from all the stuff that could happen. Don’t want anyone to talk badly about you.”
“You know what’s probably being said about me right now? That you don’t care about me, that I don’t matter.”
“But you do! I care about you so much, that’s why I try to keep you away from all that shit!”
“I get that you want to protect me but do you know how much it hurts to hear you talking about all your ex-girlfriends and how much they mean to you while you don’t talk about your current girlfriend of one year even once?”
“Love.” he sighed and grabbed her hand with a tight grip so she wouldn’t be able to remove it.
“They don’t mean anything to me anymore. Not since the second I laid my eyes on you. I’ll admit that I wrote songs about them because somehow that gives me the closure I need. And yes I’ve talked about them in interviews because I couldn’t escape, if I hadn’t said anything it would have been worse.”
Her shoulders slumped then, her eyes diverting to the floor. He was right. Of course he was. She knew from the beginning on that it was silly to be upset about all that but she couldn’t help it. She always had trouble when his past relationships were brought up. All the girls he dated were gorgeous and amazing and she couldn’t help but get insecure when she compared herself to them.
“I’m sorry.” she whispered so lowly he almost didn’t catch it.
He squeezed her hand to make her look at him and when she did he cupped her cheek gently.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, alright? I should be the one apologizing, I made you doubt our relationship.”
She shook her head before she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, burring her face in his neck. His arms went around her shoulders, clasping her sides with his hands.
“I love you, darling. Never want you to forget that.”
“I never forgot that. Just wondered for a little.”
“Don’t want you to wonder either. My love for you should be a constant in your life.”
She pulled back a little so she could look up at him.
“And it is. I was just being stupid.”
“Feeling hurt is never stupid. I was being a proper dick for not acknowledging you.”
“You weren’t. I know why you didn’t and I appreciate it.”
“Should have told them how perfect my girl is though.”
She smiled up at him and Harry swore he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight. He leaned down to press a soft kiss against her forehead, lingering his lips there for a moment.
“You know what?”
“Hmm?” she hummed.
“Should show you how much I love you so you don’t question it ever again.” he grinned cheekily.
She giggled softly and shook her head at how fast he could go from serious to cheeky.
“Horny, hm?”
“No, just want to love on you.”
He stroked a strand of hair that’s fallen into her face behind her ear, cupping her cheek and capturing her lips in a deep kiss.
He lifted one of her legs and made her wrap it around his hips. She wrapped her other leg around his body on her own, Harry supporting her with his hands on the backs of her thighs.
He carried her to their bedroom, stopping every once in a while to press her against a wall and kiss her breath away.
Once they reached their bed, he laid her down gently, hovering over her.

When she was naked he made it his mission to kiss every inch of her body, mumbling ‘I love you’ every so often.
Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t get emotional. Sex was always connected with emotion between Harry and her and it definitely wasn’t the first time her eyes welled up with tears and a few dribbled down the sides of her face and onto the pillow. Just like every time Harry got a bit worried, asking if he did something wrong but she silenced his words with her lips against his.
The moment Harry connected them Y/N was sure she never felt so close to him. She missed exactly this and was worried about exactly this, loosing the closeness between them. Or loosing him to somebody else.
Their bodies moved against each other the way they always had, nothing changed. And Y/N knew he never shared such a moment with any of his exes, he never shared himself like that with anyone but her.
When they both got close Y/N cupped Harry’s cheeks in her hands so she would be able to watch him come undone. And when he did it was exactly what she expected, he thrusted inside of her as deeply as possible and stilled, his mouth opening and his eyes rolling back. Her own orgasm hit her when she felt the first spurt of his release coating her walls, her whole body shuddering underneath him and a strangled moan forcing itself out out of her mouth. She fought against her eyes wanting to close, the need to watch him bigger.
Harry collapsed onto her when he finished completely, careful not to hurt her. She wrapped her arms around his back and made sure he didn’t move, she didn’t want to break the connection yet. She pressed countless kisses against his shoulder and neck, covering every bit of his skin with her lips.
“Mmh, love. As much as I love lying on top of you, I don’t want you to be sore tomorrow.” he said, his voice muffled by her shoulder.
She sighed and let go of him, he was right. It happened before that she got sore because he stayed inside of her too long. When he slipped out she felt his release pour out of her and as always Harry watched amazed. He reached over to the bedside table for a tissue to clean her up, careful not to apply to much pressure onto her sensitive center.
Afterwards he laid down beside her, pulling her body close immediately. She placed her head on his chest, her face nuzzling into his skin to inhale his scent. Harry intertwined his fingers with hers, kissing her knuckles softly before dropping their joined hands onto his chest.
They laid in silence for a few minutes, no awkwardness or uncomfortable feelings settling in their stomachs. But Y/N could feel that his mind was elsewhere.
“Stop thinking so loud.” she snapped him out of his thoughts.
“Sorry, darling.” he chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“M'thinking about you, though.”
“Are you?” she asked quietly and looked up at him.
“Yeah.”
“And what about me?”
“I…” he started but stopped, a frown spreading over his face.
“Hey.” she whispered and reached up to touch his face with the hand that wasn’t holding his.
“It’s just… I tried to write songs about you. I sat in the studio for hours, trying to find some words that somehow could describe the way I feel about you but… Nothing I came up with seemed to do you justice. There are no words for describing how wonderful you are or how much I love you.”
Tears welled up in her eyes at his words, she never thought about it in that way.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to write songs about me, you know. Just because I’m your girlfriend it doesn’t mean you have to write about me.”
“I know that but you’re so much more than just my girlfriend. You’re my best friend, my family but most importantly the love of my life. And of course I want to write about you but I know that no song could ever describe our story.”
Her heart melted at his words, a few tears dribbling down her cheeks and hitting his chest.
“I love you. God, I love you so much.” she whimpered and kissed his lips over and over and over again.
Harry stroked her wild hair from her face and kept her close.
“Can you promise me to never ever question my feelings for you again? Breaks my heart when you do.”
“I’ll try.” she giggled.
Harry gave her a playfully stern look, scolding her gently.
“I promise. Think you’ve done a good job at proofing your feelings as well.” she smirked.
“Oh, have I?”
“Oh, yes. But maybe, just to make sure, you could do it again.”
“Just to make sure, hm?” he teased her.
“Just to make sure.”

Choosing the wrong Priorities Part 1

This is part one of a two part story in which Harry wants to use the Hendall ship to be in the news more. His girlfriend isn’t too fond of that idea though.  I hope you’ll like this story. According to Wattpad, it’ll take about 5 minutes to read. Also, I’m using Kendall’s name because of her relationship to Harry. I don’t have anything against her personally. 

Coming home to him was what I thought about the minute I shut the door behind me when I left in the morning. He would be asleep, now that he got to stay home more and I’d have to leave him behind with his cheeks flushed and his plumb lips slightly open as he snore quietly. The urge to kiss him would sometimes overwhelm me and I’d steal a small peck. When I came home he always told me that he loved the gentle kisses I gave in the morning. That it gave him a sense of what we were, each other’s.

And it was because of this that I would never have imagined what tumbled from his lips that night. I was absorbed into a different world when Harry sat down by my side and carefully pulled my book from my grasp, trying to make me give him my full attention.

“We need to talk about something. S'important, love.”

His words worried me at first, but I relaxed when he smiled warmly. I scooted back on the bed to make more space for him and sat into a cross-legged position.

“What is it?”

Harry cleared his throat and pushed some of his hair back that had fallen into his face. I resisted to grin, admiring how handsome and genuinely beautiful he was. I loved the way his green eyes sparkled in contrast to his black shirt and how soft the skin of his neck looked. The pink of his lips.

“Remember how I told you that I would be meeting with Jeff today to discuss some ideas he had?”

I nodded, recalling it to have been a few nights ago when we were cuddled up in bed.

“Did it go well?”

“Yeah. He’s got some pretty cool ideas for what the guys and me should do for our comeback. We really need to get right back into business, you know?”

“You will,” I said confidently. “You’re adored so deeply as well as widely.”

“I sure hope so,” he chuckled. “But there is this one thing Jeff proposed I should do. He said it’d be in order for people to not forget about me. And you won’t be too fond of it, but I must remind you that it would be really good for me.”

When the only answer he got was a frown he continued, his fingers twitching nervously in his lap.

“Y/N, there have been a lot of pictures of us together lately. In a restaurant, you and me grocery shopping, entering this house.”

“None of them are displays of affection. They’re no prove that we’re dating,” I interrupted quietly.

We had agreed to keep our relationship as private as we possibly could. Only immediate family and friends knew. And Harry’s management of course. Naturally, we did spend time together outside our apartment and of course paps occasionally snapped pictures of us, but with neither of us commenting on them, there wasn’t much of a story for anyone to tell.

“I know that,” Harry agreed, “but Jeff says that he gets questions about us every day. He’s worried for our relationship and how I’m gonna be treated by the public once I’ll get back into the spotlight.”

“So you mean he’s worried for your image.”

Harry hesitated before muttering: “He doesn’t want every question in the interviews we’ll give to be one that I can’t answer honestly.”

“I understand that,” I assured him, lacing my fingers with his gently, “but I’m already worried about Jeff’s proposition.”

A small smile danced on his lips when I caressed his cross tattoo on the back of his hand.

“It isn’t that bad,” Harry mumbled, though he avoided meeting my eyes. He took a deep breath. “Jeff wants me to kiss Kendall and have some paps photograph it.”

His tone was slightly higher than usual and I was hoping that he was joking.

“I’m sorry?”

My voice stayed surprisingly calm for someone who’d just been told that her boyfriend was to make out with one of his ex girlfriends. I knew that he was still on good terms with her and that they occasionally met up when he went to LA, but he always assured that their friendship was solely platonic. And now they were to change that for it to be her in the pictures and not me?

“Magazines would talk about it for a while and it’d allow rumors about us to calm down again. He’s throwing a party next weekend and thinks it would be the perfect place.”

“I know he is,” I said dubiously and pulled my hand from his grasp. “You invited me to go with you, remember? Are you just gonna take Kendall instead while I’m to stay home and act the good girl?”

“Actually,” Harry began but trailed off when he finally met my eyes.

“What?” I growled.

He took a deep breath. “Jeff says it’d be ideal for you to be there as well. Just to make it more believable. I would leave with Kendall n'maybe give the paps some PDA while you leave shortly after. Or the other way around. It doesn’t matter really so you can choose. ”

“Oh jeez, thanks, Harry.”

I let out a harsh breath and shot off the bed. Harry watched as I stomped over to the window, putting space between us.

“Y/N.”

“What happens if I say no?” I asked, finally my voice reflected my emotions by trembling.

Harry scratched the back of his neck. “S'not really an option. Kendall already said she’d be fine with it.”

“Of course she is.”

He dropped his head and pushed himself off the bed as well.

“Look, it’s only half as bad as you think it is right now. It will all be a show to please everyone and that’s it. You n'me are still together aft-”

“Are we?” I shrieked.

My fingers shook heavily, my vision was blurred as my eyes drowned with tears and Harry watched me with an almost frightened expression on his face. I felt like laughing at him. He had obviously expected this to go much different. Easier I supposed. With less resistance and more understanding on my part. But how could I? It felt like he was willingly replacing me with her.

“I mean,” I began and backed off when he moved closer to me, “Jeff knows right? And you know that you’re my boyfriend, right? Not hers. And that I am your girlfriend, not her. That it’s me who’s coming home to you, not-”

“It’s not about her, Y/N!” he interrupted, his voice resounding from the walls. “I know that I’m with you-”

“Then why can’t I be the only one who kisses you?” I yelled and forcefully pushed away his outstretched hands when he reached for me.

I stepped further back and held up my own hand, signaling him not to come any closer.  

“I can’t understand how you could possibly think that I would agree to this. Why would I?”

Harry turned away and pulled at his hair in frustration. “I thought you cared about me doing well in my career, that’s why.”

“Oh, don’t you pull that shit on me,” I said, the tears falling rapidly. “You’re my best friend and I love you. Of course I want you to do well.”

His green eyes sparkled with sympathy when he turned to look at me as my fingers hastily brushed the water from beneath my eyes. Guilt crossed his features.

“It’s not fair of you to try and bribe me,” I mumbled.

He stayed silent and the only noise remaining was my heavy breathing mixed with the faint sound of traffic outside. When he spoke his voice was quiet and careful.

“I can ask Jeff if you being there is really necessary,” he tried to soothe me.

“That’s not the point, Harry.”

He shook his head and let himself fall back down on the mattress with a groan, hiding his face behind his palms. I wrapped my arms around my middle and stared at him wordlessly. When he removed his hands again he spoke with finality in his voice.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Truly. But this is going to happen. I understand why you’re not thrilled. M'sorry about that. But you’re making this a bigger deal than it has to be and I’m sure that if you’d just went along with it, you’d see that it’s the best solution for our problem.”

The compassion hadn’t quite left his eyes, but he looked at me like the discussion we were having was  over. Like it was him who had ultimately the last say in this. I raised my eyebrows. My bottom lip quivered when I spoke.

“Then it’s going to happen without me.”

“That can be arranged. M'sure Jeff’ll understand that you don’t want to be there when-”

“No”, I interrupted quietly. “I mean, then it will happen completely without me.”

Harry tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowing. He looked so lovely. Even with his forehead glistening and his curls a mess on top of his head from being pushed back roughly repeatedly. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to continue.

“Either you stay with me and don’t do this, or you kiss her, but then you and I are over.”  

His mouth dropped open and he got back to his feet. I was glad when he didn’t try to move closer again.

“You’d break up with me?”

My heart hurt at how soft and vulnerable his voice sounded. The green eyes filled with disappointment as his jaw tensed and the vain in his neck got more visible. I cleared my throat.

“I don’t want to be with you when I’m not good enough for your standards.”

“Who said anything of that?” Harry asked, annoyance clear in his tone.

“You did when you said kissing Kendall would be good for you and the solution for our problem!” I shouted, emphasizing the last word.

I forced myself not to back away again. Fighting with Harry felt awful and wrong. Our relationship was always one of loving words, not arguments. He always playfully said that he was more of a lover than a fighter anyway.

“I get it, okay? Having pictures of you and a hot model cruising through the internet is way better than pictures of us.”

“Y/N”, Harry tried, but there was nothing for him to say. He had already said enough.

“I feel like you’re asking if it’s okay for you to cheat on me and it’s not.”

“It’d be for my fucking job, Y/N!”

“It says nowhere in your contract that you have to make out with a model to hide your relationship, Harry! This is just a stupid idea from your manager to hide your problem, as you put it, and for some reason you find it a brilliant one! Your career wouldn’t suffer if you’d refuse this proposition.”

Harry looked at me like he couldn’t believe what I had just said.

“You’re just being difficult. You won’t break up with me over something this insignificant. It’s just a fucking kiss for god’s sake.”

And with that, we walked out on me, leaving me by the window with tears rolling down my cheeks. He didn’t even look back. I jumped when the sound of our front door shutting echoed. Not quite believing he just left I let out a broken hiss and angrily brushed the rest of my tears away. My feet carried me to our wardrobe where I stood onto my tiptoes to reach my duffle bag. I felt my heart break into pieces but I knew that I was doing what was right. I loved Harry. I truly did. But if he couldn’t see that he was mine as much as I was his, then this relationship wasn’t a healthy one. His words kept replaying in my head. You won’t break up with me over something this insignificant.

“Like hell I won’t.”

Harry POV

The sun hid behind heavy grey clouds as the trees marking the way swung back and forth with the wind. I shuddered. It felt as if the London air refused to stay warm for even one minute longer after sunset. My fingers pulled at the sleeves of my shirt and it only now occurred to me how long I must’ve stayed out. When I left Y/N standing in our bedroom the thin material had been more than enough to keep me comfortable. I scratched the back of my neck, guilt spreading from the pit of my stomach up to my throat. The keys between my fingers shook heavily as I noticed the lack of light in the house in front of me.

By coincident my former schoolfriend John had come to the city and after leaving Y/N to cool off I decided to pay him a visit. He hadn’t met Y/N and I wondered if it was smart to go to him after an argument with her. Usually the person I talked to was Gemma, though it wasn’t like Y/N and I fought often, on the contrary. She was always understanding, loving and too kind for the world. This had been the first time where she hadn’t supported one of my decisions, even when she disagreed, she at least supported me. How she couldn’t see that me getting associated with Kendall Jenner was a good thing, was beyond me. Of course I understood jealousy. God knows I felt it often enough, but this wasn’t about being unfaithful to her, it was about promoting myself. Furthermore, a happy management meant more pay and more favors, like days off.

Due to John not knowing Y/N, I figured if anyone wouldn’t hesitate to call me out if I was in the wrong, it’d be him. And he was.

While yelling back and forth with her, it was a mystery to me how Y/N could possibly act the way she did. Why she refused being a help in my career, her, the person meant to always support me, even when it meant me having a meaningless make out session with Kendall. But after voicing my request a second time, the realization of how much of an asshole I’d been came crushing down onto me. Of course she couldn’t bear the thought of watching me kiss my ex girlfriend, no matter how fleeting our relationship had been. The mere thought of another man’s lips pressing against her soft ones made my insides turn. John had sighed and even admitted his surprise that she didn’t slap me. I found myself wishing she would’ve so we’d be somehow even.

“Don’t get me wrong”, John had assured, “I’ve seen Kendall and if I had the chance then I certainly wouldn’t push her out of bed. Tell you what, there’s hardly anything I wouldn’t do to have those legs wrapped around-”

“What’s your point?”

John had barked a laugh and reached out to clap my shoulder. “Your girl, Y/N, only has to cross your mind and your whole face lights up. I’d say you’re pretty whipped.”

I cleared my throat, nodding at his statement. I truly hadn’t ever been as in love with someone as I was now. Maybe that was somehow an explanation to why I sometimes struggled to

“I know you have to stay popular and all”, John had spoken gently, squeezing my arm, “but is it worth losing the girl who has you completely smitten with her and is just as utterly smitten with you?”

No. The word I spoke before practically running out of John’s hotel room and the word echoing in my head now as the fear crept up my chest. Our home looked so empty. My stomach felt as if in knots when I discovered that our front door was locked. It seemed odd, since Y/N wouldn’t have left our home without securing it, I’d reminded her of that often enough. There were no lights on, and even when she slept she normally left at least one lamp alight. But she couldn’t have left me this fast, right?

After not spotting her in our living room against my predictions, I quietly made my way to the stairs. I skipped the last few as I hurried up into our bedroom where I had left her. But this room, too, was empty. Instead, on the very bed Y/N and I had spend a night filled with kisses and whispered promises less than 24 hours ago, were our sheets in a heap and the shirt and shorts of mine she had been wearing today. My heart stopped and salty water shot to my eyes, drowning them instantly. She really was gone.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Feedback is always welcome and so are requests.  :) 

Part two:

http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/147409101738/choosing-the-wrong-priorities-part-2 

SHE WAS MY PURPOSE

You have cancer but Justin stands you up in your date.- pt 3

PART ONE     PART TWO

JUSTIN’S POV

The waiting room was empty from what I could see, no one occupying it exept for the receptionist who was typing away at her computer. I slowly took a seat with a loud and nervous sigh escaping my lips in the process. In a doubled over position, I rubbed my hands across my face and tapped my foot on the floor anxiously. She was going to be okay. She had too.

I texted Hailey earlier, informing her that I made it to the hospital and was outside waiting but I never got a reply. After a while of anxiously waiting in the room, sniffling was heard coming from down the hall. My head snapped up only to spot Kendall making her way over to me, wiping away a few tears.

I shot up out of my chair and ran over to her, engulfing her in a comforting hug. “Kendall, what’s happening? Where is She?” I anxiously asked.

“S-She’s in recovery. Her surgery just finished but she hasn’t woken up yet. They won’t tell us anything until she does.” Kendall sniffed.

I looked up out at the direction she had just came from, to spot Hailey exiting a room. That has to be Y/N’s. With one more comforting squeeze toward Kendall, I quickly left the sobbing girl to her friend and ran down the hall to the room Hailey exited.

Monitors could be heard beeping about, making the brightly lit up room seem dull. Continuing to make my way into the room, I finally found my girlfriend, lying on the hospital bed.

Several wires were hooked to the poor girl, all leading to some crazy, scary looking machine as Y/N slept peacefully on the bed. She looked peaceful at least - but I know under the soft and calm look was endless amounts of pain and suffering.

This hospital room was new and a little cleaner compared to Y/N’s old one. I knew she was sick of that room since she spent every minute of every day in it, so a change is nice but I already know she’ll be sick of this one soon. Knowing this just reminded me about how impatient and easily bored she would get before the cancer. A small smile crept up my face at the memories.

But that smile quickly disappeared as soon as I hit reality again, and the reality was that those memories are in the past, and right now Y/N was fighting for her life in an unconscious state in front of me. I made quick to place myself in the seat by her bedside, grabbing ahold of her dry, scabby hand.

The heart monitor beside her bed continued beeping on, giving me an insight that she was alive and breathing, even if it didn’t seem like it. With the pad of my thumb, I rubbed up and down her small, delicate hand, occasionally moving it up to kiss the back of it.

I should have been here. Not out with my friends. I made a massive mistake going out with them instead of being here and now it’s my fault. Maybe if I had taken her away from that scrawny room for a while things would of changed. Maybe if I had kept her from worrying about me and showed up like I promised she wouldn’t be sitting like this right now.

As the ‘what if’ thoughts circled my Mind, I couldn’t help the tears that had welled up in my eyes and fell far from my eye. God how I wish this never happened. And I mean everything. I wish she never was diagnosed with cancer. Or at least had it been me. She doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve to be locked up in a room with tubes coming out of her body, suffering. No one does.

Suddenly, the door to the room swung open, revealing Y/N’s doctor entering with a clip board in hand. I stood up “Dr Cawfield?” I asked.

Doctor looked up from his clipboard, “Justin. I didn’t know you where here.” He said.

I quickly wiped my tears and looked down “uh, yeah. Hailey told me what was happening and I came down as soon as possible.” I explained.

He nodded, looking back down to scribble something about Y/N’s condition onto his clipboard. “So? I-Is she gonna be okay?”

Doctor Cawfield sighed sadly. “I won’t be able to tell until she wakes up. All we can do is pray.” And with that, he clicked the pen closed and left the room.

Living up to his words, that was what I did. I prayed by Y/N’s bed for what seemed like an hour. Her hand wrapped around my two as I mumbled things up to God, hoping he would hear me and answer my wishes to keep Y/N alive and help her get through this.

What felt like forever had passed by. I was currently curled up on the bed next to my baby girl, cradling her small petite body in my arms. I somehow managed to fall asleep in the few hours I was in for, and before I knew it, I was being slowly awoken by the tugging of my hair.

At First, it seemed as though I had forgotten where I was, choosing to ignore the feeling until everything came back to me, and my eyes shot open to reveal Y/N running her hands calmly and softly through my hair. Her small, pain filled eyes staring down on me as I looked up at her.

Quickly, I jumped up, immediately pulling her into a tight but yet gentle hug. She hugged back with all the strength she could mutter, and I leaned down placing a long passionate and loving kissing to her lips. My skin made slight contact with the tube connected to her nose, depressing me slightly as it reminded me that my baby was sick.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered. She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. Stop blaming yourself.”

“how did you know I was blaming myself?” I asked. “I know you better then you know yourself, I know you blame yourself so stop. This would have happened if you came or if you didn’t. In fact, I’m happy you didn’t come. If you did then this would of happened in public and I might not have made it to the hospital in time.”

That was a pretty smart point. I sighed, burrowing my face in the crook of her neck to which she cradled my head. In that moment, the doctor re-entered the room. Y/N and I slowly and hesitantly released each other to look back at doctor Cawfield.“

"Y/N, your awake.” The doctor smiled sadly “how are you feeling?” He asked sweetly.

Y/N smiled but I could see the pain behind it “I-I’m fine. Just a bit sore.” Followed by a cough, she leaned back against the bed, her hand still in mine.

“Well, I….we got your results.” The doctor sighed. From the way he had presented the news, I began to grow worried. Hailey, Kendall, Kylie, Khalil, Za and Maejor had all walked in at that moment.

“I’m Afraid the treatment isn’t working and the cancer has spread. I-I’m so sorry to tell you this. But you may not have long left.”

And in that moment, everything in my world came crashing down upon me.

***

I entered our hotel, wiping my feet at the door. Today’s show was great and I was so happy to be able to come home to see my baby. After she was diagnosed with a couple months to live, her first request was to come and travel with me on tour. There was no way I was turning down my baby’s wishes so I instantly Let her.

she was currently sitting by the TV with fredo, laughing about something they’d seen on his phone. Once fredo noticed me enter the room he smiled up at me then turned to Y/N.

“Okay beautiful, ill leave you alone with yo boy.” Fredo placed a kiss on her forehead before getting up and leaving the room, sending me nod and a ‘hey man’ on the way out.

I quickly made my way over to her, attacking her beautiful face with kisses. She giggled, leaning into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and leaned back, making sure she was comfortable.“How was your show?” She asked.

“It was really good. I wish you could come see one.” I sighed. “You know I can’t. It’s too dangerous for my Health.”

“I know.” I sighed. For the rest of the night we talked about normal things, recalling old memories of back when Y/N didn’t have cancer and laughing. It reminded me of the old times.

“That was the funniest day of my life.” Y/N said after discussing an old memory.

“Yeah it was pretty funny.” There was silence for a while. “ I love you, so, so much.” I whispered. I felt her smile.

More silence until suddenly, her breathing quickened, and I felt her begin to get heavier. Then she spoke.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to die in my arms.” Her voice was hoarse and weak. I looked over at her, seeing her eyes looking duller then usual and her face looking paler. I immediately began panicking.

“No, no! Y/N NO please!” I yelled, shooting up. Her head slowly descended back on the couch as she rested. “It’s okay.” She whispered, a tear slipping out of her eye.

“No you can’t leave me. You can’t.” I sobbed. Quickly, i ran to the front door, opening it to shout down the hall “SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE ! Help please!”

I immediately ran back, cradling her body in my arms. “You gonna be okay. Your not gonna die.”

“Justin, we’ve been preparing for this. You knew it was coming we all did. You have to let me go.” She whispered.

“I can’t.” I cried. “ I love you too much.” A tear rolled down my face, falling into her cheek. She picked up her shaky hand, slowly swiping her thumb underneath my eye.

“Justin.” She cried. I looked down on her. “ I love you.” And in the sentence, I watched as the life slowly drained from her eyes, and her body fell limp in my hands. I choked a sob, looking down on her in shock. “No…no no no no! Please no! Come back to me! Don’t leave me baby!”

Scooter ran into the room followed by a few other people. Once everyone had seen the scene, they immediately ran over. With force they pulled me away from her body. I put up a fight, refusing to leave her but soon enough, I was kneeling on the floor with people around me, in attempt to Comfort me.

But nothing they said was going to work. The only thing that would ever make me happy again was having Y/N back. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen. The only thing that settled my sadness slightly was knowing that she was in a better place, finally at peace and out of pain. And that’s all I wanted. For my baby to be happy, even if that meant eternal misery for me.

Cause I love her. And I always will. She was my purpose.

So the other night on Dance Moms, Holly called Maddie’s Cry solo iconic and I never understood why that one in particular was considered iconic..however…it got me thinking about ‘iconic Dance Moms routines.’ So I decided to list the ones I think are most iconic (in a positive way) and why. :) and just a disclaimer I’m kind of basing this off of the routines I see STILL being talked about, as well as the reactions I have read on YouTube. :) I’ll also put routines on this list that got a big reaction on the show but I’m trying to aim mainly on the positive side.
In no particular order I’ll start with solos first.

Maddie’s “Angel”

This solo was touching I think and resonated because it was dedicated to Maddie’s grandma. It was also one of her best routines of season 1 by far.

Maddie’s “Disappear”

I dunno about you guys but I always go back to this one whenever I’m thinking about my favorite solos from each of the girls. This one was also a dedication and Maddie performed really well.

Chloe’s “Dream on a Star”
Everyone. Loves. This routine. Let’s be totally honest, we ALL love this routine. In the episode this one was from Cathy (or the producers rather) tried to psych Chloe out by giving Cathy’s soloist the same song. And instead of freaking out, Chloe literally knocked it out of the park.

Chloe’s “Silence”

This routine was great, and not only that but it was probably such a highly anticipated routine when it aired (unfortunately I wasn’t watching the show when it first aired) because everyone wanted to see if Chloe would win at nationals. Not only did she perform her heart out but she WON!!! Yay Chloe!

Paige’s “Make Some Noise”

This one was iconic to be because it literally was one of the best times I had seen Paige dance and she won! I remember Abby scolding Kelly for the costume cuz she didn’t want Paige’s legs to show. Well…take that Abby lol. 😛

Maddie’s “In My Heart”

Of course this was gonna be on here. This routine was basically the talk of the entire tv show for like four episodes. And it was the first time the music ever skipped on one of the girls. But Maddie kept on dancing!

Chloe’s “Angry Bird”

Even though it didn’t score as high as some of her other solos, this routine was the routine that made me LOVE Chloe. And if nothing else the costume is definitely one that sticks with you. Easily one of the best ALDC costumes lol.

Paige’s “Tongue Twister”

Once again of course this was gonna be on there. Not only was it a routine that was supposed to air in season 1 but when it finally did happen in season 2, Kelly changed the choreography and I think that’s something no one will forget. With Kelly’s choreography though Paige placed right under Chloe. :) go Paige!

Nia’s “20’s Scat”

This routine had to be difficult timing was but Nia absolutely shined with this routine. She looked confident as all hell doing it as well. Abby in the first few seasons rarely ever gave Nia mature routines, but this was one of them and it was absolutely stunning.

Brooke’s “The Animals Know”

This solo never even officially aired on Dance Moms aside from one of their reunion specials. It got cut but Lifetime still put it up as an extra and even STILL I see a lot of people say this was their favorite Brooke solo. Hey and I’m one of them lol.

Maddie’s “Birthday”

People absolutely love this solo. I see it talked about in such high regards all the time honestly. Not only that but it did also take second at Jump which was pretty awesome. This was the very first solo of season 4 and it was a great way to start it out. I always loved this solo too and the costume was one of my favorite Maddie solo costumes.

Kendall’s “Voodoo Doll”

I think towards the end of season 3 and all through season 4 was really when Kendall blossomed as a dancer and I think this routine started it. She was second only to Maddie at nationals with this one. It was also Kendall’s first time competing a solo at nationals.

Mackenzie’s “The Party Starts Right Now”

This is the only routine I remember Abby ever crying during the rehearsal for because she was so happy with how it was turning out. Maybe it wasn’t so much the solo itself that was iconic but Abby’s reaction to Mackenzie performing it!

Chloe’s “Red Queen”

Not only was Chloe super excited about this one, but I think we all were. Excluding all of the drama that surrounded this solo (Maddie forgetting hers, and once again the producers making one of Cathy’s students–which happened to be Kendall this time–copy her), this solo was wonderfully executed and really showed off Chloe’s amazing ability to do darker character pieces.

Brooke’s “Diary of Anne Frank”

This is another one I see a lot of people praise and call their favorite Brooke solo. It was a routine she won at nationals with and rightfully so. She performed the hell out of this routine and the ending always gave me chills.

Nia’s “Goodbye Maya”

The one and only solo to this day to incorporate spoken word. Nia killed with this routine and once again the ending always gave me chills when she says that final line. “I speak to Maya. Goodbye.” I was always impressed with the strength in her voice she managed to have while talking IN BETWEEN dance moves.

Chloe’s “I Know It’s Too Late”

A lot of people were moved by this solo. Another solo where the dancer literally performed the hell out of it. Everyone on the show, I remember, was very worried about this solo because Chloe was going up against a boy but she still pulled out that win.

Mackenzie’s “Killer Bee”

Another stellar performance at nationals. I know this one could be considered negative because it was a dig at Cathy but it was Kenzie’s first solo at nationals. It’s gotta go on there. 😉

Maddie’s “Maddie”

Dude…the song was specially made for her. And it was probably one of Maddie’s best performed upbeat numbers. Abby rarely ever gave Maddie jazz/musical theater numbers but out of the few she offered, I think this one was the best.

Maddie’s “Amazing Grace”

This was one of the best routines Maddie ever competed at a national competition. And hey…Abby even modeled a group dance out of it in the next season. So it deserves the recognition lol.

Kendall’s “Not Just Another Pretty Face”

Whether this was a “Maddie solo” or not, I don’t really care. Kendall did amazing with this routine and I see tons of people say this was their favorite routine of Kendall’s. I think in this routine is the best her legs and feet have ever looked. :)

Chloe’s “Lucky Star”

I feel like so much was riding on this routine, and I almost feel like this was the routine so many people (who don’t look at spoilers lol) watched with baited breath to see the outcome of. And I have to agree with Francisco from AfterBuzz, Chloe really did look like she was fighting for something in this solo. There was not a single moment she ever let up on the showmanship of this routine. And her feet looked absolutely beautiful. :)

So solos aren’t the only things that can be iconic right? So let’s talk about some duets.

Maddie and Chloe’s “Black Swan”

I think this is probably everyone’s favorite duo from the entire show. Maybe not EVERYONE’S but you get my point. This duet was also such a great way for Chloe to come back and boost her confidence after forgetting her solo at the same competition. :) I think this duet really showcased the best of both Maddie and Chloe.

Paige and Chloe’s “Wishbone”

Once again, excluding the drama surrounding this routine, I think it would STILL be iconic. Chloe and Paige were ecstatic for this duet and watching it really is a tear jerker because of the chemistry they have.

Maddie and Kendall’s “Bodies Electric”

This was another routine I feel like had a lot riding on it, especially for Kendall. And I did remember watching this one with baited breath, hoping they placed first so Abby would have to eat her words.

Now I’ll do trios but I don’t think there will be as many here as the other ones.

Chloe, Maddie, and Paige “Pin-Up Girls”

The very first trio on Dance Moms and it was performed by the main trio of the group. Let’s also not forget that Chloe kept dancing even as her costume malfunctioned. So yeah.

Yeah I think that’s probably the most iconic one. So now here comes the funniest part! Groups!!!

“Where Have All the Children Gone?”

Duh. Like this is probably everyone’s go-to routine when they try to remember the best from season 1. Great concept, cool choreography, and innovative music. This was Abby (or…the producers?) at her best.

“The Last Text”

And duh again. This routine I think was Abby’s favorite routine of all time. And to me it was one of the best routines ever put on the show. It was a little gimmicky but I don’t think it was cringeworthy like some of their other gimmicky routines.

“Twilight”

Easily one of the best routines of season 2. Nick really highlighted the best of each individual dancer and people adored this routine.

“Rosa Parks”

This routine I think was a tribute that, once again, wasn’t cringeworthy like some of their other ones. The song was great and Nia really REALLY did great as the lead. Like that was literally such a shining moment for her. That routine always makes me cry too.

“Living With The Ribbon”

It makes me so mad that the impact of this dance was swallowed up by the “two girls, one solo nonsense.” Either way this was a stand out piece among group dances and having Brooke as the lead was an excellent choice because she always danced so much differently than the others.

“Amber Alert”

I didn’t like this routine all that much. But when you go on YouTube and look at the comments, people put this right up there with The Last Text and Where Have All the Children Gone. I will say this; I only didn’t like this routine cuz the story was confusing. I thought the girls performed it really well though.

“Witches of East Canton”

This one was probably my personal favorite from the first half of season 4. And I see it as a lot of people’s favorites from the entire show. The choreography of this dance was pretty great and each of the girls performed really amazing through their bodies and their faces. It was altogether just really good.

“Amazing Grace”

Modeled after Maddie’s solo at nationals. My God was this routine beautiful and even though they didn’t win, Abby was still happy about the performance. It was a beautiful tribute to Mrs. Miller and it really felt like breathing in fresh air when you watched it.

“Stomp the Yard”

This one isn’t one of my personal favorites but the reaction it got from fans was pretty positive. A LOT of people said this was one of their favorites and they really enjoyed the fresh choreography.

“Suicide Hotline”

Abby wanted to create another number to go right up there with The Last Text and Where Have All the Children Gone and she did it. I do have some mixed feelings about this dance but I can’t really deny that it was the best routine of season 6.

“Why Wait?”

This one got a huge reaction on the show. According to the moms, the girls and Gia worked on it the night before in the hotel rooms. While a lot of the attention surrounding this was pretty negative it’s deniable the moms were ecstatic when they won. And so we’re the girls.

So what do you guys thing? Think I missed any?

Beg For It

Part 4 of Music Video 

// In which Justin truly takes control //

*Warning Mature Content*

———————————

“That was so good,” Justin laughed between shaken gasps as he recovered from his high.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“I love this,“ he said a moment later.

“Yeah,” I let out a deep sigh before sitting up on the bed.

“What are you doing?” Justin looked over at me. The bliss that ones captured his face turned to concerned as his broad sweating chest rose up and down from the bed. Justin’s blonde hair was tossed ferociously all over his head.

“I’m getting dressed,” I pulled on the underwear and the t shirt I came in.

“Why? You can stay the night?” he sat up and took my shirt from my hand.

“Actually I can’t. I having brunch with a friend,“ I snatched it back from his grip.

“That doesn’t matter. Please, just stay the night. I’ll cook in the morning and everything,” he gave me a hopeful smile.

“As good as burnt food sounds, I think I’m going to pass,” I shimmied my shorts onto my legs then reached for my phone to see all the messages I missed while I was fooling around with Justin.

“When people ask you about us what do you say?” Justin asked out of nowhere.

“What do you mean?”

“Like I don’t know, what are we? If we went somewhere and you knew someone there, how would you introduce me?” he didn’t make eye contact with me as he spoke.

“As my friend,” I stated, matter of factly.

“Just your friend?” He dug.

“My really good friend?“ I tried to laugh the awkwardness away. Knowing that Justin was lowkey feeling me was only making me want to be around him less. This was just topping the cake.

“And how many really good friends like me do you have?” He asked trying to sound nonchalant, wanting to know how many other people I was fucking.

“Why does it matter?” I snapped.

“Just wondering,” he mumbled while putting his shirt on as well.

“Well you can quit,” I pulled on my shoes.

“I just wanted to know if we’re good,” Justin placed a hand on my waist.

“I’m good. We’re just friends who, occasionally fuck. There’s nothing wrong with it,“ I spoke with a hot little attitude.

“Right,” Justin pulled his hand off of me.

“Oh,” I feigned surprise.

"Oh what?” he asked.

“I think I know what this is about, Justin,” I faked a smile before continuing. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m not high maintenance like the other girls you fuck around with. I don’t want anything from you but a good time,” I pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. I was hoping he would catch my hint without me having to flat out tell him that I didn’t feel the same way.

“So you aren’t getting attached?” Justin asked while rubbing my hips. He looked anxious waiting for my answer although he did hide it well.

“I understand the boundaries and I do not plan to cross them,” I hummed before engaging him in a provocative kiss. Our lips continued to be pressed together until I felt him getting hard again. I laughed and pressed my hand against his stirring dick once before removing myself from the heated embrace.

“When can we hang out again?” Justin groaned, knowing that he wasn’t getting anymore pleasing right now.

“You mean fuck?” I giggled.

“Yes,” Justin shuttered back a bit.

“Well, my schedule is booked up for the next week and a half so…” I lightly brushed off our next meeting.

“Oh, okay. Am I going to see you at Drake’s release party next Friday?” Justin asked about our mutual friend and colleagues’ album drop.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” I nodded. I would never miss one of Drake’s parties, they were always my
favorite.

“Let me walk you out then,” Justin handed me my purse and led me out the front door.

“Hit me up if you find free time?” Justin opened the door to my Mercedes.  

“Sure,” I climbed into the car, shut the door behind me, and got the hell out of here.

“Kenny,” I spoke as soon as Kendall picked up the phone.

“Hey Y/N whats up?” She answered six rings later.  

“He likes me so much,” I groaned.

“Give me the details.“

———————————

Justin’s Point of View

“Okay so like can you just asks if she likes me?” I begged Kendall as I glanced over at Y/N who was sipping on her glass of champagne.

She looked beautiful as ever, in a nude skin tight dressed. All night, Y/N has been socializing with person to person yet, hasn’t spoken to me yet. Ever since the Pour It Up music video, she has been the talk of the industry. It was hard to believe that while everyone wanted her, I was the one that actually got her.

“I don’t think she’s really in the mood to be bothered with you,” Kendall spoke as she swayed to the beat of the blasting music.

“She won’t be bothered if she likes me back too,“ I reasoned.

“What is this? Elementary school? If you like her so bad then ask her on a date,” Kendall wasn’t having my shit either apparently.

“I will as soon as I know she’s interes- She’s moving go go ask her,” I shoved Kendall towards Y/N who was walking over to the bar.

Kendall flicked me off before going off to greet her friend. They hugged then Kendall said something that made a laugh brighten up Y/N’s face. Suddenly, they were both looking at me. I quickly turned to talk to who ever was closest to me at that moment and it just so happened to be Khalil.

“Yo, Y/N has been looking over here all night,” Khalil nodded over at Y/N who sent a smile back.

“Really bro?” I played it off cool.

“Yeah, like damn she’s so fine,” Khalil laughed before taking a sip of his drink.

“Hmm,“ I didn’t want to burst Khalil’s bubble.

“We actually went out to breakfast a couple of weeks ago,” Khalil didn’t noticed my dryness.

“Excuse me,” I stopped looking at Y/N to look at Khalil that just had to be lying.

“Yeah, it was last last Wednesday I think. We had a good time though. I’m trying to ask her out again since its been a minute,” Khalil shrugged while I tried to fix the puzzle together in my head. If I thought back correctly, then that means the real reason Y/N wouldn’t spend the night the last time we were together was because she was going out on a date with my friend the very next morning.

“Did you two…” My voice trailed thinking that if I didn’t ask the question, I wouldn’t hear the answer I didn’t want to hear.

“Fuck? Nah. At least not yet, it did get a little heated after breakfast though if you know what I mean. But like she’s your friend so put in a good word for me, yeah?” Khalil gave me a hard pat on my back before turing around to talk to Kylie. I rolled my eyes as I took a sip of my drink, looking at Y/N in a whole new light. Y/N couldn’t possibly have actual feelings for Khalil after a date. Granted, I’ve never taken her out but, I still have more of a chance with her than he does. The fact that Khalil thought he was going to be with Y/N in the same ways that I’m with her made my blood boil. She was mine and only mine.

“Who you looking at?” Za came up to me a moment later after I downed my tequila. I nodded at Y/N who laughed loudly with Kendall.

“Damn, Y/N stays thicc,” Za held up his glass as to toast to Y/N’s holy body.

“Not you too,” I groaned. Damn, the moment I’m actually into a girl, all my friends notice her as well.

“What’s wrong Bieber? You feeling Y/N or something?” Za teased me.

“No, she’s just my good friend,” I mocked Y/N’s words.

“Ya’ll fucking?” Za guessed correctly straight off the back.

“No,“ he gave me a boy please face, already detecting my lie. "Fuck, I mean yes but it’s more than that?”

“Hey guys,” suddenly Y/N came over with a cocky smile present on her face as she hugged each of us. Her embraced lasted a beat longer with me compared to the rest of the guys.

“You look really good tonight,” Khalil complimented, coming out of fucking no where. His little comment brightened up her entire face, making her laugh and spin so that we could admire her entire outfit that hugged her just right. Za smiled at me causing me to I rolled my eyes at his teasing.

“Ya’ll look good too. I love this suit on you,” She reached out and pattern her hands against Khalil’s silver suit. A suit that I bought while shopping with him. I shook my head and grabbed another drink as Khalil and Y/N drooled over each other.

“Thank you. How about I get you a drink and we go dance?” Khalil asked, annoyingly.

“Yeah I’d love that. Surprise me with the drink,” Y/N called after Khalil who winked before heading off to retrieve the drinks. Y/N bluntly flirting with my friend made me want to gouge my eyes out. We set ground rules at the beginning of our friends with benefits relationship yet somehow, I didn’t make flirting with each other’s friends off limits. I goofed.
“Nice hair. Although there won’t be much for me to hang on to now, I still like it,” Y/N stated suggestively, once no one was paying attention to us.

“Thank you. You look ready good tonight,” I said a moment later, once my competition was gone.

“I know, babes, that’s why I wore this,” she posed dramatically.

“Well, you always dress so well for me,” I smirked and put an innocent hand on her waist.

“That’s cute that you think I dress up for you,” she used a baby voice on me.

“Tell me that you don’t,” I pulled her closer into me.

“I don’t,” she pulled my hand off of her.

“Which is why you strut around in this sexy ass dress and act like you aren’t coming home with me?” I pushed her straightened hair behind her ear with the bite of my lip. Y/N knew who she belonged to and it was me.

“Hm… I’m not sure what I’m doing after this. Maybe I’ll see what your friends are up to tonight. Maybe Maejor or Za? Better yet, I could be down for Khalil’s fine ass. You know I’ve always had a thing for light skins. We’ll just have to see where the night takes me,“ she shrugged with teasing grin on her face and a hand popped on her hip. Gaining control of my jealousy, I boosted my confident up a notch.

“It’s cute that you think I’m bothered,” I took another sip of my drink.

“What’s really cute is that you sent Kendall to ask about me because you’re so worried about what I’m doing,” she raised her eyebrow and took the glass of champagne from my hand to finished it off.

“I’m not worried about you,” I denied.

“Hmm, okay. We’ll see,” Y/N hummed before leaning into me and pressing her hand over my bulge. “Talk to you later,” She winked before talking Khalil’s hand and following him out onto the dance floor.

————————

‘it’s funny that the girl on your lap swears that she’s the reason that you’re hard when i know the only thing you’re doing is hoping that i’ll let you meet me in the bathroom’ Y/N’s text read.

After watching Y/N grind on Khalil on the dance floor, I accepted the attention of one of the sluts that craved a star’s attention. I reread Y/N’s message and couldn’t help but laugh about the fact that she was obviously bothered about the blonde sitting in my lap. Of course this random hoe could never compare to Y/N but, I couldn’t let her know that.

’No. I think I might take her home instead’ I sent back, knowing it would piss Y/N off.

‘i guess i’ll just have one of your friends fuck me open tonight. i’m not wearing underwear. do you think that will turn them on?’ i choked out at her message.

“Fuck,” I mumbled out and before I could even start to type, the three dots symbol popped up under the last message.

‘god I’m dripping at the thought of leaving this party and being fucked into. i’m tempted to help myself out in the bathroom. I wish someone would join me. khalil hasn’t changed his number has he?’

‘Give me 5 mins to meet you in the bathroom,’ I typed quickly, giving into her game.

‘i’ll give you 3 minutes. tick tock babe’ I groaned at y/n’s challenge and patted at the girls hip’s signaling for her to get the hell off of me.

“What’s wrong baby? Want to take this somewhere else?” the nameless woman rasped into my ear and pressed her hand over my hard dick.

“I need to do something important,” I started walking to the closest bathroom sign in the corner of the room.

“I can handle an urgent, situation,” she grabbed onto my hand.

“Can you please go somewhere? There’s a million rappers in the building with just as much money as me, go fuck one of them,” I yanked my hand away from the desperate girl in search of the bathroom. I made it there quickly and blatantly walked in.

“What the fuck Justin?“ Kylie asked while applying another coat of lipstick in the mirror.

“Is Y/N in here?” I looked under the closed stalls hoping to recognize Y/N’s black heels.  

“No why,” Kylie tugged me up.

“She told me to meet her in the bathroom,” I explained quickly

“There’s like 2 other bathrooms in the building,” Kylie rolled her eyes.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I quickly left the ladies room in search of the the next bathroom but Y/N wasn’t in that one either. Just as I was going to walk into the last possible bathroom
Y/N could be in with seconds to spare, I was stopped by a legendary producer.

She was one of the many producers that worked on of the best songs from both Take Care and Views. I had been waiting months to have a conversation with this woman but the ONE time that I don’t have time for her, she decides to approach me. Unbelievable.

I carried on with the conversation with the woman but, a few moments later, I saw Y/N appear from behind the bathroom door. She looked down as she walked and proceed to bump into me lightly. To the unknowing eye, it looked like she was innocently off balance but, what really happened was that she slipped her lacy underwear into the pocket of my coat. I groaned eternally at the feeling of the soft sheer and lace against my calloused hands.

“So we’ll be in touch?” the producer interrupted my thoughts of Y/N walking around, dripping with no underwear on.

“Yes, ma'am,” I nodded and used my unoccupied hand to give a parting shake. She smiled before leaving towards the other music producers in attendance.

"Fuck,” I groaned before going back to the table that my friends seated at. Open arrival, I immediately noticed Y/N sat on Khalil’s lap. My jaw clenched in frustration as I proceeded to walk past the table and to the bar where I sat beside Kanye who was ranting to guy about poor bottle service. I nodded along when Kanye started going off to me but my mind was preoccupied.

‘if you got to me quick enough you wouldn’t be so frustrated. it’s okay though because it’s really sexy when you’re mad’ another text came through. Tired of Y/N’s shit, I moved from the bar and stalked angrily back to the table.

“I need to talk to you,” I glared at Y/N.

“I’m busy,” She took a sip of her frozen drink, without even looking at me.

“Let’s go,” I grabbed her hand.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to go get my car and you better be at the back entrance when I come back. Do you understand me?” I rasped in her ear with a change of tone. I was tired of having her play around, it was time for me to take control of the situation. Noticing my lack of patience, Y/N said nothing as she nodded her head.

“Then tell our friends bye and meet me at the fucking car,” I cussed before leaving the building and instructed the valet to bring my car back. Sure enough, by the time the keys to my Lamborghini were given to me, Y/N joined me at the exit. I opened the car door for her and slammed it shut before getting in and taking off down the road.

“Y/N,” I called her name and took a glance over at her to see her staring at the expanse of dark road ahead of us. We had been driving for 5 minutes in silence, sexual tension swirling in the air.

“Yes, Justin?” Her voice slightly quivered. I felt her eyes looking me up and down, questioning my next move.

“I don’t like the way you’ve been acting. First you curb me all week and then you walk around the club playing with me when you have already given me blue balls. What’s even worse is that I found out you’ve been talking to one of my friends,” I listed my grievances to her. "Pay me back,” I grasped her thigh once before holding the wheel again. A heartbeat later, I flicked my eyes between Y/N and the road as she silently leaned over to me and started to unzip my pants.

I let out a soft sigh at the feeling of her take my hard dick out of it’s confines. The car jerked as she suddenly downed me completely in my mouth. A coarse of adrenaline ran through me as I realized how dangerous and provocative this is. Taking one hand off the wheel, I could easily grab a ponytail of her hair now that it was straightened. Moaning on my cock, Y/N bopped the length of my dick even farther down her tight, wet throat. I had to fight to keep my eyes open as I drove down the deserted Los Angeles streets. Seconds away from cumming, I pulled Y/N off of my dick before I would shoot my arousal down her throat.

After a moment of struggling, I managed to put my self back in my jeans. In the next moment, I had my hand trailing circles up and down Y/N’s smooth thigh. “Justin, please,” She whimpered. For the first time ever, Y/N was begging me to do something for her. With my newfound power, I merely smirked as a drew lines on her thick legs. Each time I drew closer to her center, I retreated my hand even farther than it originally was.

Tired of my teasing, Y/N desperately pulled my hand so that my finger were pressed to her wet clit. Laughing at her need, I pulled my hand from under her dress and up two fingers in front of her face for her to suck on. She quickly complied and made my fingers wet enough for them to fill her up. Instead of teasing, I gave her want she wanted. She panted beside me as I drew my fingers back and forth into her wet heat. I worked her open slowly until I pulled into my garage. I said nothing as I got out the car and walked into the house, not having to look back to know that Y/N was following inside.

“You hungry? Thirsty? I could go for a snack myself,” I hummed as I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

“No. I’m fine, Justin,” Y/N sighed from the entrance of the kitchen as she waited for me to finish what was started. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of her getting what she wants so soon.

“I have some apple juice. Or do you want a soda? I have Sprite Coke, and Fanta strawberry,” I looked through the refrigerator, ignoring Y/N’s need.

“I just want you to fuck me,” She stated blatantly as she began to undress herself. Her matching underwear set was undeniably sexy as she exposed herself to my eyes. The newly added barbells through her nipples, shined in the dully lit room. I looked her over slowly once more before going into my pantry.

“Aw, someone ate all Girl Scout Cookies. I really wanted some peanut butter patties,” I sighed in unhappiness.

“Fuck me, Justin,” Y/N said harshly as moved her bra straps out of place.

“Maybe if you ask nicely,” I scoffed, shoving a few Pringles into my mouth.

“I didn’t come here for snacks,” Y/N took a step towards me so that she could reach my aching bulge that I had been ignoring. I grasped her hand and used it to spend her around and trap her between my body and the cool kitchen counter. I kissed her soft lips then her neck before beginning to whisper in her ear.

“Don’t get besides yourself, Y/N. I’m doing what I want tonight and you’re going to take what I give you without complaints. In fact, you’re going to beg for it,” I said quickly, letting her in on what the night was going to bring.

“But-”

“But nothing baby girl. I’ll meet you in my bedroom. Be naked,” I nodded her away after giving my instructions. After replying to Za’s texts about whether or not I made home, I walked up to the bedroom to see Y/N obediently waiting for my presence.

“You look good like this,” I noted as I stepped to the edge of the beg, where she was kneeling.

“Make me feel as good as I look,” she challenged against my lips.

“Beg for it,” I told her, my teeth tugging at her plump bottom lip as my hands traveled up and down her sides. Noticing she didn’t say anything, I looked at her face to see a stubborn look that I was oh so familiar with.

“Oh so you aren’t going to say anything? You make think you have me figured out since, I let you take control but there’s a whole other side of me that you have never experienced. So, I’m going to ask you one more time. Beg for it,” My hands roughly grasped her ass as I waited to hear what I wanted. Receiving nothing from Y/N, yet again, I ruthlessly wanted to hear her praise. I turned around and pushed Y/N on all fours so that she couldn’t see what I was retrieving. I reached into my beside drawer with a devilish smile on my face before I pulling out one of many vibrators.

“Being stubborn isn’t cute,” I hummed as I turned it onto its highest setting. At the light buzz in the air, Y/N tensed under my hand, obviously recognizing the sound. Still not saying anything, I mercilessly placed the end of the vibe against her aching core. Not expecting the vibe to be so strong, Y/N shuddered out as I ran the little device down her slit to be pressed against her swollen clit. Once there, her whole body rocked as she tried to get both more and less of the vibrations. Obviously torn between overstimulation and pleasure, she shook as she moved against it.

Being so irresistibly hot, I turned Y/N and laid her on her back as I watched her struggle beneath me. Her straightened hair frizzed against my pillow and her dark skin glistened as her pleasure continued to build up. I leaned up against her and sucked on her pierced nippled as I worked the little toy against her. Wanting a proper taste, I lowered myself and licked up all the arousal she was producing because of my actions. At the feeling of my flat tongue swipe up to meet the vibrator against her clit, I heard something come out of her beautifully gifted lips.

“What was that?” I asked as I put my two fingers in her again. She shook her head no, concentrating on not giving me the satisfaction of her pleasure. Enjoying how much Y/N was testing both me and her, I shrugged my shoulders in disregard before leaning down again.

There was no mistaking the way she muttered out a ‘please’ between her clenched teeth as my tongue drew circles in her opening, I laughed against her before imbedding my whole tongue into her wet heat while rubbing the vibe from side to side against her clit. A movement later, Y/N gave up on the pride she was desperately hanging onto and threw her hand into my shortly cute hair. She held onto whatever she could grab of me as I lapped circles in her.

“Justin please. I’m gonna- Justin,” she couldn’t form complete sentences as she convulsed around my tongue. I quickly removed myself from her before she could tip over the edge. I watched her flushed face turn from bliss to annoyance as she realized I was holding off on her orgasm.

“Ask again,” I teased as I made light circles in her wetness.

“Please, Justin,” She glared at me, looking unimpressed at my antics.

“Oh you can do better than that, babe. Beg like you mean it,” I instructed as I kneeled on the bed to pulled my shirt off and undo the zipper of my pants. I waited expectantly as I slowing downed my Calvin Kleins, my hard dick smacking my abs in freedom.

“Justin, please,” She started again as she stared at my cock that was aching for her as bad as she was aching for me. Her face softened up as she gave up her need for control. “Touch me. I need you fuck me please. You’re always so big inside me. I need you in me,” She whined while grasping her breasts in dainty hands for temporary pleasure. I hummed in respond to her pleas as I jacked myself off, subduing my need for her. Tired of my hands, I crawled back up her heated body and pressed myself against her entrance.

“Please, Justin. Fuck me,” She panted out as I eased myself into her wetness. I paused once I filled her to the hilt. I looked down admiring the sight of her bliss. Fuck, she was so beautiful laid out and begging for me, wanting me, needing me.

No longer wanting to deprive both of us, I slowly pulled out before slamming back into her. At the puff of air that escaped her raw bitten lips I smiled and continued my intrusion. Her arms latched around my neck, pulling my lips against hers as I thrusted into her body. Her lips attacked mine, giving herself that little amount of control over what was happening.

At one of my heavier thrusts her lips slipped away from mine and bit into my shoulder. Little tuts of air radiated against my skin as I drilled into her quickly. Feeling my orgasm at the brink, I pulled out, giving myself a chance to regroup.

“Please Justin,” She asked again. Nothing was hotter than seeing someone so powerful and confident so submissive to my touch. High on dominance, I teased the head of my cock against her drenched slit. Her arousal dripping down her core and unto the sheets as I rallied her up on the feeling. Unable to hold back any longer, I slammed back into her.

Instead of the fast pace that she probably expected, I slowed down my movements and ground into her languidly, the way that I knew would make her feel the best. Moans like I’ve never heard before left the both of us as I created the perfect rhythm. I hissed as I felt her clench around me as her sharp nails ran down my back. My body tensed up as I continued to roll into her. I grasped onto her breast and fucked into her with hard thrusts as she convulsed around me, my name being screamed from her lips. With two more heavy thrusts, I was done for as well. The coil in my stomach heightened before I released my cum into her stirring body.

Too tired to do anything other than pull out and fall in post orgasmic mindset, I looked up at the ceiling and watched the fan spin above our jaded bodies. I wanted and waited for Y/N to remove herself from the bed to get dressed and leave like she always did but, it didn’t happen this time. Even after she regained her breath, she laid their beside me in silence. I looked over at her out of curiosity to see her dozing off, her manicure nails clenching to the duvet while her hair was wildly laid out on the pillow. She looked beautiful as ever as I watched her give in to her fatigue. Unable to stop myself, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled into me, wanting nothing more than to hold her through the night. I wanted her to hold her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted all of her for forever.

Ex girlfriend troubles

Hi everyone! 
This one shot scenario has been in my head for quite a while, however @stacey–lowe gave me the idea to make it a plus size one. That isn’t the main topic of the one shot though, as I normally try to write as few descriptions of how the female lead looks as possible, so anyone can relate to it. But I definitely tried my best. :) 
Thank you so much for every like, reblog and follow! 

Summary: Harry and Y/N’s Skype call is interrupted by no one other than his ex, Kendall Jenner.

Pic sadly isn’t mine.

The tips of my fingers danced on the keys of my laptop, my hands somehow unable to keep still. My eyes kept landing on the small clock in the right corner of my computer screen, which indicated that Harry was already ten minutes late for our Skype date. Sure, ten minutes wasn’t much, but for Harry it did seem quite unusual, as he normally rather called early than late.
My teeth bit down on my bottom lip and my heart squeezed happily when (finally!) the familiar ringtone erupted and Harry’s lovely face appeared on the screen. I hastily clicked the green ‘accept’ button and smiled widely at my boyfriend appearing in front of me, a bright smile pulling at his own lips.

“Hi, love,” Harry greeted me.

His hand appeared on the screen as he pretended to reach out for mine and I blushed when my own fingers met the image of his.

“Hi, Harry.”

A giggle fell from my mouth, as his face was a little too close to the camera, the angle giving his face a slightly weird look. His nose appeared bigger, his chin flat and I could practically count his stubble.

“You forgot to shave,” I joked which had a blush rose to his face and he shook his head, rearranging his computer to bring more distance between himself and the small camera.

Harry rolled his eyes, but a smile danced on his lips, “S'not that bad yet, is it?”

“Of course not,” I giggled and lifted my hand to kiss the tips before pressing it to the image of Harry’s cheek. Harry would never be anything other than impossible not to look at.
Harry cooed at me and pretended to kiss my palm before chuckling, his deep dimples becoming visible in both cheeks. We were so sappy with each other and way too happy about it to care.

“How are you? Busy day?” he wondered, his gaze locked on mine still, the tip of his tongue sliding over his bottom lip.

“Not as much as I anticipated,” I shrugged,  "Yours?“

”'Bout the same,“ Harry yawned, "had a meeting in the morning but now I’m all free and by myself.”

“I envy you,” I chuckled, “Would’ve slept all afternoon if I were you. Although, I suppose you found better things to do in LA.”

Sometimes it almost felt strange to me, how he was enjoying the warm and sunny LA afternoon sun while I sat crossed legged on my bed, the heater on it’s highest level and my body covered in layers of shirts and jumpers. In a way it seemed as if we were in two different worlds, which I suppose, we somehow were, our laptops functioning as a connecting window.

“Is that rain I’m hearing?” Harry asked, amusement in his tone. He tilted his head and his brows knotted together as he tried to look past me and to the windows in the back.

“Yep,” I replied in a sigh, “How could it be any different in ever rainy London?”

“True,” he chuckled and ruffled his hair.

An irrational wave of jealousy cursed through me as I missed touching Harry’s hair whenever he was gone, especially since he’d cut it. Now when he let me run my fingers through the brown soft strands, the tips would scrape against the skin of his head to which he’d usually groan and lean into my hand in search for my touch.

“So,” I began, “What are you up to tonight? It’s just past noon where you are, isn’t it?”

“Not really, love, no. It’s four pm.”

He muttered something concerning my poor math skills to which I chuckled before feigning offense.

“Anyway,” Harry continued, a smile still pulling at the right corner of his mouth, “I made plans to have dinner with a friend. S'gonna be fun, for sure.”

“Sounds like it,” I replied, swallowing down the wave of envy coming over me.

Of course I was glad he had a grand group of friends to keep him company, but I couldn’t stop the thoughts racing through my head. He was my boyfriend and I wished it was me who got to spend time with him, at best, all the time! But that was impossible, of course, and I wouldn’t ever want to become an obsessive and clingy girlfriend to him. And besides, being separated made every reunion much more special.

“Who are you going with?” I asked, wondering faintly who it was he’d be spending the evening with.

“A friend. I just told you,” Harry said, dodging my question, before he stretched his arms while opening his mouth in a yawn.

“Don’t tell me you’re tired!” I scolded him with a laugh, “Weren’t you free all afternoon?”

“I was, but had to get up early, didn’t I?” Harry asked defensively.

I rolled my eyes at his words and stuck out my tongue when he pulled a face at me.
We continued to banter for a while, before our conversations ranged from a band I’d gone to see a few nights ago, to a sushi restaurant he wanted to take me to once I made it to LA with him. I watched his lips move and hands gesture along to his words, as he went on telling me of places he needed to show me, the green in his eyes sparkling whenever his orbs found mine.

“…. so yeah. That cafe made me think of you instantly. We should go.”

“I’d love that,” I answered, “And I quite like how you’re planning our first trip to LA together whenever you’re there.”

“S'gonna be soon when I won’t accept a 'no’ any longer and stuff you into my suitcase to smuggle you into the country,” he jokingly threatened, mischief in his voice.

Heat rushed to my cheeks and I looked away. Harry and I hadn’t been seeing each other for too long, yet I could already tell that what we had was something special. We deeply cared for each other, though we hadn’t precisely said it and no one made me feel as comfortable to be around them as Harry did. I wasn’t someone who had lots of guys knock onto their door, and that had caused me quite a few worries in the past. But that was before Harry, and now that I was with him, my life seemed almost too perfect to be real.

“Harry?”

I tensed when I heard a faintly familiar and female voice coming from somewhere behind Harry. He seemed to be just as surprised as I was, until his eyes found the clock on his laptop, then they widened and his teeth sank into his bottom lip. His head turned away from the camera and to the exit.

“M'in the bedroom!” he called, then he turned to me and spoke apologetically, “M'sorry, love, I completely lost track of time.”

Seconds later the woman the voice belonged to appeared behind Harry, who still sat on his mattress, and took a stand beside his bed.
Her slim figure leaned down to great Harry with a quick kiss to his soft cheek and he hummed a quiet hello, his eyes fixating on me.

“Hi, Kendall,” I greeted her, lifting my hand in a small wave whilst smiling brightly.

I couldn’t deny the small knot at the bottom of my stomach, caused by how strange it felt to see her next to Harry’s bed. A bed, she’d most likely spent quite a few nights on herself, while I hadn’t.
Jealousy however, wasn’t the right term to describe my feelings with, at least that’s what I kept repeating to myself. I couldn’t let myself feel threatened by her, or any girl Harry had been linked with before he met me. Their place was in the past and they didn’t matter anymore.

“Oh, Hi. Y/N,” Kendall replied, a kind smile forming on her lips and replacing the surprised expression so quickly I almost missed it. “I’m sorry I walked in on you guys. Did I get the time wrong, Harry?”

He shook his head, his eyes finding mine before moving to look at her. “It’s my fault. Simply lost track of it.”

“Oh, so it’s the two of you are going out for dinner tonight?” I asked, realization hitting me all of a sudden.

Kendall nodded and clutched her bag a little tighter. This new information caught me off guard and I couldn’t quite place whether or not I liked it. Harry hadn’t referred to just any friend of his, but his former  girlfriend / hookup / friend with benefits / , Kendall Jenner.
I wasn’t oblivious to Harry still spending time with some of the women he had been intimate with, and before now I had never looked at it as much of a problem. But I had never actually seen him with one of them, before and now that I knew he was going to be alone with her, it somehow did bother me.

“Y/N?” Harry spoke gently, ripping me from my thoughts.

“M'sorry, did you say something?” I asked, heat rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment.

Kendall laughed quietly and excused herself, saying she’d give us some privacy to say goodbye. Harry answered with a quick nod and turned to watch her leave. The dark hair fell in waves over her shoulder and I rolled my eyes at how her perfectly long legs carried her out of the bedroom, leaving Harry and I alone again. Only now we weren’t alone anymore, and our little world was ruined by his ex waiting for him. I refrained from asking Harry since when Kendall Jenner decided when we ended our Skype calls, and instead put on a brave face.

“So, I suppose you have to go,” I muttered, my voice laced with disappointment.

An expression of worry took over his face once he heard it and he shook his head. “No, baby, listen. I can stay and talk if you-”

“You made plans and that’s fine, Harry,” I interrupted him dismissively. Once I saw the look on his face I quickly smiled and added: “Perfect, actually. Don’t worry about it.”

Though the smile on my face was anything but genuine, I tried to make it as believable to him as I could. He shouldn’t have to worry, I’d decided. Otherwise he’d feel bad and his night would be ruined, even though he hadn’t actually given me any reason to be angry with him.

“Y/N,” he tried once more, his pleading eyes locking with mine. “Please, love. You know you’re more important to me than a dinner.”

“Of course I know that,” I replied with a quick nod, “And I’m not mad, trust me.”

By the look in his eyes I could tell he didn’t buy my reassurance and so I lifted my hand to touch my fingers to the screen.

“We can talk tomorrow if you want,” I offered calmly.

“Or tonight?” Harry proposed, his face holding a mixture of concern and hope, “once I’m back? If you’d like to, I mean. I know it’s late where you are, but we haven’t seen each other in quite a bit and I haven’t even nearly told you everything I wanted to yet, so-”

“Sure,” I agreed, a spark of happiness warming my tummy, “That would be lovely, Harry.”

….

Harry’s Pov:

“So, anyway, we thought it’d bring a great new twist to the whole thing.”

Kendall finished her story and smiled at me expectantly, oblivious to the fact that I had only heard half of what she’d said. If not less.
Y/N just wouldn’t leave my mind, the image of her face tortured me. Had she been sincere when she’d claimed it was okay for me to have dinner with Kendall? The expression on her face when she’d saw my ex girlfriend enter my bedroom indicated differently, however fleeting it had crossed her face and to be quite honest, I would loath to know Y/N was alone with someone she’d been intimate with in the past. Though Kendall and I were never anything like Y/N and I were, there had still been a connection once. And that troubled Y/N.

“Harry?”

My eyes met with the one’s of  the woman sitting in front of me. I only noticed now how I had long stopped looking at her, and forced myself to smile.

“M'sorry. I think I’m a little distracted.”

“I noticed,” Kendall commented and focused her gaze onto her menu, “Is it Y/N?”

The question was asked casually, but the faint sullen undertone didn’t go unnoticed by me.

“Yeah,” I replied with a frown.

We stayed silent for a moment before I began telling her a story Jeff had told me a few days ago. She giggled at the right parts throughout it and nodded along, then went on to talk about something else. The food was great, too, and Kendall nice. Yet once I dropped her off at her place, relief flooded my entire body.
This dinner had been a very bad idea, and now I knew I owed Y/N an apology.
I restarted the engine and quickly drove back to my apartment, hoping Y/N wasn’t asleep yet. Though she’d agreed to wait for me to call her back, it was rather late in London by this point and she’d said her day had been a busy one. I huffed and shook my head, realizing that I spent Y/N’s free evening with my ex girlfriend. From that on, my mind went ahead and played through every possible scenario in which Y/N could be furious with me.
Finally I reached my home. My laptop took its time with waking up and by the time I got to press the Skype button, my hands were sweaty. It rang and rang, but nothing. She didn’t pick up.

“Damn it,” I cursed and pushed some of my loose hair out of my face.

I tried to call her again, then tried her phone and even texted her to ask if she had changed her mind, but Y/N didn’t answer. Figuring that she might have fallen asleep already, my fingers hastily tipped one last message to her, saying that she should call me the moment she got this, no matter what time it was. Then I striped off my cloths and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I didn’t allow myself to enjoy the hot water for too long, before I turned it off and stepped back into the bedroom. Just when I was halfway through pulling a pair of boxers up my legs, my laptop rang. I jumped up and pressed accept, not caring that Y/N would see me whilst being very naked.

“Wow, I that’s not what I was expecting,” she giggled, a blush rising to her cheeks.

My heart squeezed at her words and I felt myself grin, loving how she reacted to my nudity.

“You’ve seen me in less, love,” I joked.

Y/N’s blush increased and she bit her lip, adding: “Trust me, I remember. Quite clearly, actually.”

I laughed at that and found myself thinking back to some of our more interesting moments we’d spent together. Though we hadn’t been separated for too long, my body ached and longed for her presence beside me.

“So,” Y/N began quietly, “how was dinner? You’re back earlier than I expected.”

“Yeah, well,” I scratched my head, “it was fine. Food was good and all.”

“Good.”

Y/N’s fingers played with the rings decorating them, a habit that showed whenever she was keeping some thoughts to herself. The gesture made me even more uneasy and I kept trying to figure out how I would change the subject to what I needed to know.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

I bit my tongue and clenched my hands. “Was it okay for me to hang out with Kendall today?”

“What?” Y/N’s brows knotted together in a frown and her soft lips parted in surprise.

I cleared my throat. “Given our history and all that. I just worried you were mad about me spending time with her. Just the two of us, you know?”

It felt good to voice the guilt which kept eating away on my insides and at this point if she’d asked me to never hang out with Kendall on my own again, I’d consider it. Hell, I’d say yes instantly.

“Oh.” Y/N bit her lip and for a moment her eyes lowered to her fingers, still playing with them.

“Baby,” I pleaded, “please be honest with me. I need to know if I overstepped a line or-”

“You didn’t, Harry,” Y/N spoke quietly. “You needn’t worry.”

She took a deep breath before locking her gaze with mine.

“I’ll admit that seeing her by your side wasn’t the best feeling, but I’m sure that’s no well kept secret. Sometimes there’s that little doubt in my head, that maybe you’ll go back to,” she hesitated, “you know … wanting her. And not me.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Love, I would never-”

“Look at me!” Y/N interrupted me, a smile pulling at the left corner of her lips, “and then look at her. We’re like… the complete opposite.”

My mouth went dry at Y/N’s words and I looked down. I knew full well that she was referring to the weight difference between her and Kendall. Something I knew she troubled herself with sometimes, though I honestly didn’t pay it any thought. Never would I have assumed she’d worry about it so much.
Kendall worked as a model, a successful one, while Y/N wasn’t what would be considered thin. She struggled with her insecurities and self esteem, while Kendall wore sheer see through cloths with her head held high. Yes, they were different, very much so, actually, but that’s how it had always been and how I liked it.
Y/N was gorgeous. Not 'despite’ her weight, or her constant worries and insecurities, and not 'only’ because what was inside that counted, but completely and fully. Y/N was so beautiful to me, I didn’t even notice what she called her 'flaws’.
Whenever she pointed out a roll on her hips, it wasn’t the first time I saw it, but she almost tried to teach me to look at it as something bad. And I hated that it was Y/N herself who pointed out the pretty features of her body and presented them as something unattractive. She never succeeded though, and later when she was asleep beside me, I kissed all the parts of her body she’d hated on throughout the day, showering them with all the love and affection they deserved.
Y/N particularly hated her stretch marks. They decorated the soft skin of her stomach and hips, a few were faintly visible on her thighs. Those got extra hate, but I never payed it too much attention, because really, what for? They didn’t make her prettier, just like they didn’t make here any uglier, either. Her body was her body. And I loved every piece of it, always.

“And you wanted her first,” Y/N finished quietly, her eyes falling from my gaze to her hands.

“Y/N,” I began with a heavy sigh, but again, she interrupted me.

“Harry, listen. I thought about it and I know I’m not what’s considered pretty and thin, and yes, I’ll admit seeing you with your pretty ex-model girlfriend didn’t give me a batch of confidence, but those are my issues and it’s not your job to fix them.”

“You’re my girlfriend,” I stressed, “Of course it’s my job to make you feel good about yourself.”

Y/N smiled softly at my words and reached out her hand to touch the screen, similar to what I had done when we talked earlier today.

“I trust you,” she said simply, her sincere eyes meeting mine, warmth returning to them, “and that little worry at the back of my head will disappear soon, I know that. It’s not my right to tell you not to hang out with her anymore-”

“But you want me to,” I interrupted.

Y/N shook her head. “No, I actually don’t.”

“Y/N,” I huffed and ruffled my hair, “You confuse me.”

“Thanks,” Y/N laughed, then she turned serious again. “You value the friendship with her, so, be her friend, Harry. I’ll get over my minor issues and just have to be fine with it. They’re only there because I love you and I’m terrified to lose you to someone. Especially Kendall, 'cause seriously, could she try to be a little less pretty?”

She rolled her eyes and I bit my lip, forcing myself to let her continue.

“But I cannot look at Kendall as a threat, or else we will always have a problem to deal with. So, yeah. Hang out with her as much as you want, and our relationship will be stronger for it, I’m sure.”

Y/N’s kind eyes met mine and I could’ve sworn my heart jumped out of my chest right there. Never had I met someone as selflessly good and wonderful as she was. Happiness had my body buzzing, as I noticed the love she held for me in her eyes. I’d seen it before, but only now had I heard it from her as well.

“You love me.”

The moment she realized what she’d said her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. If I thought her cheeks couldn’t get any redder, I was proven wrong. My own were warming, too, and I chuckled as I watched Y/N hide her face behind her palms.

“Forget that I said that,” she pleaded with me, her voice muffled and she moved her fingers a bit so I could see her eyes, “It slipped out and is a completely crazy thing to say given for how short we’ve been dating.”

“I quite like it,” I admitted, “In fact I-”

“No, no, no, Harry, please don’t say anything,” she interrupted me. “That’s something to talk about another time. This was out of the blue.”

“Did you mean it, though?” I teased her, a smile taking over my face.

“Harry,” she whined and scrunched up her nose when I laughed.

“Alright, let’s talk about something else. For example how ridiculously awkward the dinner I went to was.”

Y/N pov:

The smile was still stuck on my face, even though I had ended the Skype call with Harry about ten minutes ago. We’d continued to talk after we’d resolved the little drama from earlier and soon laughed and joked like we always did. I’d apologized for ruining dinner for him, and blushed for fifth time that night when he told me how he preferred time with me over dinner with Kendall any day of the week.
Now it was well past the time I’d originally planned on going to bed, but that was okay. Spending time with Harry was better than going to bed early anyway, and though I had (accidentally) told him that I loved him, the embarrassment had subsided rather quickly. Especially because a minute after his face disappeared from my computer screen, my phone lit up.

Though it’s ridiculously early to say this and should be talked about another time… I love you too.

Hope you enjoyed this one! I start to feel slightly bad for using Kendall’s name so often, but it works best given her relationship to Harry. Hopefully you guys aren’t sick of it yet. 
Requests and feedback is welcome! 

Rest of what I wrote can be found here: 

http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/144920695218/masterlist

A Wizard’s Misgivings: Chapter 2

click here for the masterlist and here for chapter three

summary: Dan Howell’s entire family has been in Slytherin, and there’s no doubt he’d supposed to end up there too. Phil Lester does’t exactly know what to do when he finds himself liking boys, so he’s usually just horrendously mean to them.

word count (for this chapter): 3.5k

tw: phil swears, dan kind of almost drowns but hes never in real danger

edit: CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING ART BY @vegapancakes (after you read the chapter bc spoilers)

Keep reading

There is a difference between watching someone's heart break, and hearing it - imagine

*Trigger warning*

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s time your bath”. The nurse adjusted her watch against her wrist as she stood in the doorway, her eyes quickly scanning the busy room before they fell back on the small girl curled up at the top of the bed.

Y/N nodded her head weakly before sliding the thin white sheet off her body and placing her bare feet on the floor. She visibly flinched at the feeling of the cool tiles against her soft skin before she stood and followed the nurse silently at the door, not even glancing at the people who watched as she shuffled down the hall and out of sight. A quite fell upon those she left behind, each of them looking quickly at the others before their eyes fell to the floor and they made themselves comfortable, waiting for her to return. Harry however, remained standing, his eyes trained on the door she had left through, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets as a frown cast itself onto his brows. He chewed at his lower lip and shifted his weight between his feet.

“I need some air” he said suddenly, breaking the thick silence which engulfed them all. He left without another word or a glance over his shoulder to see if anyone had heard him. He strode quickly from the room and in the opposite direction from which they had taken her. There was a pause before the silence was broken again.

“I’ll go after him” Louis said quietly, pushing himself to his feet and walking quickly after Harry.

Those who remained took seats around the room, two of her friends on the bed, one on the floor, Niall leaning against the wall and Liam in a soft chair that was situated in the corner. He sighed as he lowered his body into the chair, rubbing a hand over his face and through his hair as he gazed blankly at the floor.

“Liam?” A girls voice asked. He looked up slowly at a girl he had never seen before, sitting next to an equally unfamiliar boy on the bed. She was tall and thin, her long, black hair pulled back from her face and behind her ears. She was young, no older than 17. She must be Y/N’s friend, he thought.

“Yes?” He asked.

“What happened between those two? Y/N and Harry I mean. I’ve known her for a couple of months now and she has never said a word about him or what happened” she asked quietly.

Liam sighed and picked at the skin around his fingernails. He pulled down the sleeves of his hoodie and sat back in the chair.

“I’m afraid it’s not a very pretty story,” he began. Each person in the room looked at him with mild intrigue and shifted in their seats so they were more comfortable.

“It happened a couple of months ago. Everything had been fine. Harry and Y/N were just as happy as they had always been. They would spend every waking moment with each other, they would make each other laugh, comfort one another. In truth I have never seen two people who were a close as they were. It was something very special, something only the luckiest people in the world find. It was true love. But unlike the stories, it couldn’t last. Harry was under a lot of pressure from management throughout their relationship. They wanted him to be with someone like him, someone who was famous and would help benefit his career. Many names came up in their meetings, lists and lists of girls management thought would be more suitable for him than Y/N was. Harry of course refused to have any part in it and he never told Y/N about the meetings, he didn’t want to worry her, he would say. But they never dropped the issue. After a while, one name kept coming up over and over again,”

“Kendall Jenner” the dark haired girl interrupted.

Liam nodded. “For months and month they tried to convince him to leave Y/N and be with Kendall but still he refused. Until one night, 4, maybe 5 months ago I can’t remember. We were all out in America, celebrating the release of our album when Harry got drunk, and I’m talking really drunk, worse than I have ever seen him before. Kendall arrived not long after that. I don’t even know how it happened, I just turned around and there they were, making out in the corner of this club. The boys and I stopped it of course but by then it was too late. Y/N found out when we got home. She of course moved out of Harry’s house straight away. She came to stay with Louis for a couple of weeks until she could find a place of her own. I was staying there at the time as well while my house was being redecorated. From each day to the next Louis and I had to watch Y/N implode. She stopped eating after day two and stopped speaking after day three. We never say her cry, she became a shell of herself, a pale, thin, ghostly form floating around the house, consumed by her own thoughts and grief”. He paused for a moment, casting his eye across the people who remained in the room. Y/N friends listened on intently while Niall had cast his gaze out of the window, his face fallen in to a frown as he relived the story Liam was telling. Liam sighed before continuing.

“The first time we saw her cry was when pictures of Harry and Kendall together started to emerge. At first it was just the odd one here and there, but once the pictures from the boat were released, it was like every emotion Y/N had been hiding for that month bubbled to the surface until she couldn’t hold them down any longer. She cried for hours without stopping, sobbing and choking while she sat behind her locked bedroom door while all Louis and I could do was listen. Seeing someone’s heart break is one thing, but hearing Y/N’s break that night was something I’ll never forget. There was so much pain and sorrow in her screams that is was almost unbearable to listen to. She moved out a couple of days later.

"We didn’t see or hear from her again after she left. Harry tried to call her a couple of times and Niall and I went over to her house once to check on her but she never opened the door. After a couple of weeks we all just assumed she had moved on with her life, found her forgiveness and made peace with the pain Harry had caused her. Harry was the one who got the call from the hospital saying she had tried to take her own life…” His voice slowly trailed off, leaving the room once again to be engulfed by a heavy silence. Niall quietly mumbled that he was going to get some water before excusing himself.

“What did he do, Harry I mean, when he got the call?” The girl asked.

“He went very pale, it was like he had been told the worst news imaginable. He didn’t speak other than to tell us what had happened and which hospital to go to. He was quite, gazing out the car window and occasionally muttering that this was ‘all his fault’ before he would bite his lip and fall silent again. It’s hard to tell what’s going through his mind at the moment” Liam answered.

The girl nodded. Not another word was spoken. One by one, the boys returned, Harry being the last to do so. He sat in the corner and twisted his rings around his fingers in silence, gazing out the window as he chewed on his lip. Y/N was brought back not long after and all those in the room stood once more, helping her to the bed before stepping back to give her some space.

“Y/N, would you like some water?” Niall asked gently. Slowly she nodded her head. Niall offered her a small smile before he left the room to fulfil her request.

“We’ll get you something to eat” the dark haired girl said before all three of Y/N’s friends left.

“We’ll go make some calls to your family to let them know that you’re alright” Louis said before both he and Liam left the room. Harry stood silently in the corner, afraid to move or speak. He scanned the frail girl in front of him, her grey skin thin and pale compared to what is used to be, her hair slightly damp and her eyes dull. He stepped hesitantly towards her bed.

“What would you like me to do?” He asked in a whisper, clasping his hands nervously behind his back. For the first time in half a year, she looked at him, her dull, lifeless eyes slowly meeting his. Her stare was cold and hard, so far from what it used to be. Her face was stone and her lips were set in a tight line. She examined him for a moment.

“I want you to leave” she finally spat, before turning away and gazing back out of the window.

Gold-Digger

I love these detailed prompts yo \(o.o\)

Harry knows what people think about him.

He hears the whispers around the office and he sees the tabloids but it doesn’t really phase him. He came to terms with the rumors and bad-mouthing a while ago; probably only days after he started dating an 18 year old. To be fair, Harry is only 27. Many people only saw their relationship superficially. Though unfair, it made sense seeing as Harry was a big time businessman and Niall was barely out of high school. There were nine years between them and most people didn’t take that lightly.

Then there was also the fact that Niall and Harry fell hard and fast. After three months of dating, Niall moved into Harry’s luxurious bachelor pad and immediately was thrown into a world were his new name was decidedly “gold digger”. That alone made Harry one hundred precent more angry than anything that was ever said about himself. They were both of consenting age and they were happy– why couldn’t people just understand that?

Harry had to shake his head just to rid the thoughts from his head as his receptionist entered the room. “Mr. Horan is here to see you, sir.” She says, a bit of smugness in her voice, and Harry makes a mental note to consider firing her later.

“Send him in.” Harry says, grinning easily as he closes his laptop. When he catches the girl, Kendra, he thinks, rolling her eyes, he adjusts the mental note to definitely fire her.

Harry leans back in his chair, warm smile on his face as the familiar blonde shuffles into the room. He’s wearing tight skinnies and a large tee that Harry usually sleeps in. “Hey baby.” Harry murmurs, enjoying the slight blush that rushes over Niall’s face. The Irish boy’s blush darkens as he shifts on his feet, muttering back a low “Hi.”

Harry smirks and opens his arms wide, tilting his head invitingly as he beckons, “Come here, sweetheart.”

Niall is quick to rush into Harry’s arms, straddling his lap and hugging the older man tightly. Harry’s hand run up and down Niall’s back underneath the oversized shirt, inhaling the sweet scent of his boyfriend that may or may not be perfume.

“What’re you doing here, love? I thought you had classes.” Harry said, pulling the blonde away a bit so they could meet eyes.

“Harry, have you even looked outside all day?” Niall giggles and no- Harry hadn’t. The business man swivels his expensive leather chair around and tilts his head as he sees the heavy downfall of snow outside his window. “My classes were cancelled so I walked here.”

Harry frowns deeply, facing his boyfriend once more and letting his eyes rove over the outfit the boy was sporting. Niall, obviously recognizes the look and huffs. “I wore your old pull over and a coat so don’t worry.”

“You still should’ve called me or Liam. He would’ve given you a ride, Niall.” Harry says disapprovingly. “And what about that… delinquent friend of yours? He couldn’t be arsed to give you a ride?” Harry sneers, making Niall glare back.

“I wanted to walk and actually, for your information, Zayn did offer to walk with me, but I told him that I was fine walking.” Niall mutters with a pout on his face, picking at his manicured nails unhappily.

The green eyed man sighs and pulls Niall’s hands away from picking at himself. “Don’t.” He orders, making Niall’s eyes narrow. Another sigh is emitted from the older man and he retorts. “I only worry about you, darling, you know that.” He says, placing a warm hand against Niall’s slightly chilled cheek.

Rolling his eyes at his cheesy boyfriend, Niall leans his head into the comforting hand. “I know.” he says softly and the two slowly lean towards each other, lips about to meet when-

“Sir, the WCC has sent out a winter warning- several people aren’t going to be able to drive home tonight if we don’t close early.” Kendra interrupts, disgusted look on her face.

Niall, blushing like crazy, scrambles off of Harry’s lap, making Harry glare at the woman. Intimidated, the girl stands back a bit, the look on her face diminishing into a more professional grimace. Harry rolls his eyes, hating the thought of loosing business hours but also knowing the need to be smart in these types of situations. “Fine then, Kendra.” He says, ignoring her tiny protest of “It’s Kendall.”

Harry takes Niall’s hand in his own and grabs up his briefcase, ordering her, “We’ll close in an hour, send out the emails, yeah?” He says in a low voice that he uses for convincing. He sees Niall’s eyes darken and he sends the blonde a smirk, turning back to the girl who was staring as well. Harry really didn’t know the effect he had on people. “After that, Kendra, you can clean out your desk. You’re done here, I’ll have your paycheck mailed.”

Harry and Niall leave to the security withholding the crazed girl, loud shouts being thrown at them as they leave down the hall, ignoring most of them until-

“Fine! You just wait until I spill all the dirty secrets I have on you and your little– gold-digging whore!” The enraged woman screams, only stopping her screeching when she noticed Harry returning.

She must’ve realized her mistake because immediately, her eyes hit the ground and she stops her temper tantrum. “I’m sorry-” Harry begins, “Can you repeat what you just said?” He growled, using every bone of self restraint that he had not to do something reckless– like hit this woman.

“I- I-” She stutters, eyes wide and defensive.

“I suggest that you have a written apology sent to myself and my- what did you call him again- gold-digging whore- before I have to bring in lawyers for suspicion of slander. Are we clear?” Harry snarls at the woman, who’s shaking in her heels. “Make sure she finishes her job and then get her the fuck out of here.” Harry orders to the large man who was previously holding her back. The man nods in confirmation and Harry waltzes back over to Niall, who’s eyes were wide in shock.

“Wow.” Is all he says as Harry leads him over to the main receptionist desk. There they collect their coats and such. Even though they won’t be going into the cold, just the private parking deck where Harry and a few others park, Harry insists that Niall puts on the large pullover. They don’t speak until they get out the elevator and they’re alone in the parking deck. “Harry?” Niall asks, a sweet tone that puts Harry immediately into suspicion.

“Yes, darling?” Harry answers, grinning down at the smaller boy.

Niall tilts his head a bit in confusion as Harry opens the car door for him, not getting in until he asks. “Why did you get so mad at that girl?”

Harry raises an eyebrow. “Did you not hear what she called you, baby?”

“She called me a gold-digging whore…” Niall said, a confused look on his face.

Harry rolled his eyes in remembrance. “Yes, and I’m not going to let people call you that.”

Niall gets into the car, a wondering look on his face and Harry mentally groans, knowing how Niall gets when he’s in one of these moods. “But why?” He asks, voice sounding a bit childish as Harry gets in the driver’s side. 

“Darling, you know why.” Harry says, voice low and Niall just gives him a confused look. Thankfully, he recognizes the annoyed look on Harry’s face and he doesn’t continue on the subject.

They get home after being stuck in traffic for much longer than Harry could stand and by the time they get to Harry’s building, the businessman is nearly fuming. 

They walk through the impressive french doors that open into Harry’s huge flat. Harry immediately places his briefcase on the table near the door and shrugs off his suit jacket. Niall scuffles behind him, kicking off his shoes and watching as Harry loosened his tie with dark eyes. 

Niall knows that Harry’s angry and stressed, not at the blonde himself, but rather it was directed at that woman at the office and maybe the traffic as well. Well, there’s only one way to ever make Harry less stressed. 

“Harry…” Niall says with a low voice as he follows the curly haired man as he walks in the open concept living room.

Harry turns slowly, anger already fading from his eyes. He sits onto the large sectional in a huff, spreading his legs invitingly and patting his thighs. Niall gets the message quickly and jumps into Harry’s arms, nuzzling into Harry’s neck lovingly as the man begins to loose his annoyance. Harry sighs as he holds Niall close, comforting himself in the knowledge that Niall’s still there despite all of the terrible things people constantly say about him. 

“Haz!” Niall whines as Harry grinds upwards into the blonde’s bum. Harry groans out a laugh and Niall giggles as he rolls his eyes, getting off of Harry’s lap, resulting in a playful glare from the curly haired man. 

“Hey, I was enjoying that!” Harry calls, face confused as he watches Niall skip off towards the bedroom. Harry’s about to get up and follow the teen until Niall bounds back out, pants discarded and covered in the couple’s huge comforter. Niall hops back onto the couch, snuggling up next to Harry as he drapes the large comforter over them.

Harry grins down lovingly at the blonde in his arms, pressing kiss after kiss to the Irish boy’s sensitive neck. Niall glares as he turns the TV on, trying his best not to moan out loud as Harry easily locates his sweet spot. 

“H-harry..” Niall pleads, taking a chance and looking at the businessman as he does so. Harry takes the moment, gripping Niall’s face in his hands tightly as he pulls the blonde forward. Niall lets out a satisfied groan as Harry forcefully kisses him, the older man knowing that the blonde loves to be manhandled.

Slowly but surely, the two kiss the afternoon away, the sun setting through the floor to ceiling windows that cover the west side.

Just as the room darkens, Niall sits up a bit, making Harry’s eyes snap open as he grunts, “What?”

“Shit, what time is it?”Niall asks, looking flustered as he runs a hand through his hair.

“Um..” Harry says, still a bit stunned as he checks his watch. “It’s nearly five.”

Niall shoots up from the couch, basically sprinting into the bedroom, and Harry is even more disoriented then he was before. “Wait, what?” He asks to the silent room. Having no answer, he begrudgingly makes his way to the large master suit. He finds Niall digging through their walk-in closet, muttering about having nothing to wear. 

Harry quirks an eyebrow, “What? Have a hot date that you forgot to tell me about?” He asks dryly, a hint of actual disgust in his voice. 

Niall raises his head, looking downright guilty as he shakes his head. “Did I forget to tell you?” He asks sheepishly and Harry’s already sneering. “Look, it’s Zayn’s birthday and I knew that you wouldn’t want to go!” Niall tries to defend but Harry’s look only darkens. “When I agreed to the party, I thought you would still be working, c’mon Haz.” 

Harry snorts. “So you were just going to lie to me, that’s comforting.”

Niall’s mouth pops open in shock, a scowl covering his face. “Seeing your reaction, it obviously would’ve been a better option than telling you!” The blonde says lowly, making Harry glare even harder. 

“You know I don’t like Zayn-” Harry gets cut off by an frustrated noise emitted from Niall.

“You know I don’t like you working until 3am yet I’m still going to sleep alone every night.” Niall returns sharply.

Harry’s anger is only spurred on by this as he scoffs, “How else am I supposed to pay for all of this? How else am I supposed to pay for you?” Harry yells right back. 

Niall, looking much more angry than Harry had ever seen him, even when faced by the slanderous tabloids. “You know that I don’t care about any of that!” Niall shouted, tears welling in his eyes at Harry’s accusation. 

“Do I?” Harry asks, eyes narrowed and shoulders heaving.

Niall stands, still in his briefs and Harry’s hoodie. He aimlessly grabs a pair of jeans and tugs them on, brushing past Harry. Before he can even get out the door, Harry’s grabbing him harshly, pushing him up against the wall of the closet. “He-” Niall starts but Harry presses against him harder, cutting him off as Niall flinches. 

“You are mine.” Harry growls. “You don’t get to leave me-” Harry snarls, and Niall’s tear filled eyes can’t even look at his boyfriend right now. Whether it was the build up of the entire day, or just the information of Niall leaving for the night, Niall had never seen his boyfriend act so dangerously around the blonde himself. “I won’t let you.” Harry says, his pupils completely dilated and Niall barely recognizes him anymore. 

“Harry please stop.” The blonde begs, voice a complete whimper. With just those three words, Harry’s eyes seem to return back to normal, and he releases Niall instantly. Niall, unable to even look at Harry any longer, runs to the bathroom and locks the door behind him, letting the sobs overtake him as Harry stands motionlessly where Niall left him.

It takes a few minutes for the older man to even understand what exactly he had done to his boyfriend. When it finally sinks in, he slumps back, rubbing a hand over his face dramatically before he makes his way to the bathroom door, knocking gently. “Niall-” He tries softly, cut off by a loud sob.

“Please just go away.” Niall cries, making Harry flinch violently. He had fucked up.

“Niall, please, I’m so sorry, I don’t know-”

Once again, Niall interrupts him. “I- please just leave me alone.” He begs, sniffling loudly in between cries. 

Harry reluctantly leaves the room, embarrassed and ashamed and a tiny bit afraid of himself. He feels the anger return, only this time it was at himself. He quickly grabs his coat and his keys, leaving the house subtly, not before leaving a note to his boyfriend. 

After a long walk down to the parking garage, he realizes that  he can’t even go on the roads because of the winter warning. With a huff and a roll of his eyes at his own stupidity, he walks back up to the flat, hoping that maybe Niall was ready to talk.

To his horror, he returns to an early dark home– one that he definitely had left light and bright. What chills him even more is the new note in place of his old one.

Sorry. -Ni
* * * *

Niall isn’t really sure what he’s doing as he enters the booming bar that Zayn’s birthday party was being held. His face is bright red from the freezing cold and his hands feel like they’re about to fall off– and that’s just his physical damage.
Emotionally, Niall was worse for wear. His heart felt like it was bleeding and his arm was burning where Harry had grabbed it just a bit too tightly. His head is pounding from how hard he had cried and he can’t help but wonder if Harry had returned home yet or not. 

His thoughts are cut off as Zayn hugs him tightly from the side, shouting

“Nialllerr!!!” Loudly. Niall grins at his blatantly drunk friend, humoring his dark haired friend. 

“Zayniieee!” He giggles, hugging the boy back. “Happy birthday, bud.”

Zayn pulls back, smiling widely. “Thanks, babe, lemme get you a drink, yeah?”
The party already looks out of control, and though getting away from Harry for a night had seemed appealing before, now the party looked nothing but intimidating. Purely out of instinct, Niall nods, following Zayn towards the bar.

After the entire night of sloppily grinding and drinking mercilessly, Niall ends up going home with Zayn. They both slip and joke their way home, ending up crashing on the couch as they’re way too drunk to even make it to the bed.
* * * *

The following day is hell.

Niall knows he has class, but his eyes can barely open. Somehow, he forces himself to get up, stepping over Zayn’s body on the floor and begins to get ready for his day. Sluggishly, he pulls on joggers and a tee, and takes his time to call a cabbie, knowing that he’ll have no will to actually take the tube with this kind of hangover.

Niall hesitantly checks his phone for any message or call from Harry, immediately disappointed as he sees there’s nothing. Niall’s jaw clenches as he sees that Harry didn’t even attempt to apologize or even get into contact with him. Niall blinks away the tears as he opens the flat door.

In he insight, Niall probably should’ve thought about his appearance a little bit more. Honestly, he would’ve tried harder on his appearance if he had known that the paps were going to be waiting for him at the lobby of Zayn’s flat.

“What the fu-” Niall nearly curses as a microphone was shoved into his face.

“Niall! Niall! Are the rumors true? Have you cheated on Harry?”

“Niall! IS is true that you’ve been using Harry for his money!”

“You heard it here first, Niall Horan caught cheating on his boyfriend, proving his gold-digging title to be true.”

Niall closes his eyes, trying to block out the words of the reporters. He had never had to deal with these types of paps by himself before. He tries his best to block out the bright flashes and shouts as he makes his way to the taxi that he really hopes is his.

The taxi man gives him an impressed look but doesn’t end up commenting on Niall’s paps. Niall sighs heavily, telling the man the address of his first class, attempting to not cry in the back of a taxi. It’s fine. He probably just lost his boyfriend, and he’s only prolonging his terrible title but he’s fine.
The taxi ride goes by way too quickly and Niall is forced to actually pay the guy and then go to class.

He pretends not to see everyone staring at him as he walks to his seat, but he does.

* * * *

Two classes later and Niall can’t deal with it anymore. The paps are finding him everywhere and without Harry or Harry’s guards to protect him, Niall is left to fend for himself. He tries his best to keep a straight face as he gets in the taxi, but his voice breaks when he spits out Harry’s address.

The taxi guy looks vaguely confused, but once again, doesn’t ask and Niall is thankful. The blonde is beyond upset. He doesn’t understand why Harry’s been ignoring him especially after last night. 

Niall’s anger and sadness comes to a peak as he takes the elevator up to Harry’s flat. He makes it to the french door and knocks heavily. He waits for a couple of beats and then knocks again, and then three more times. It soon becomes clear that harry isn’t going to answer the door.  He takes a moment to breathe before loudly calling out. “Harry!” 

Once again, he’s left in complete silence until he calls again, and then again. He’s about to completely give up when the door swings open.

The second he sees him, Niall knows exactly why he wasn’t going to wait for Harry any longer. He didn’t want to be the first to make a move, but he couldn’t stand it anymore. He needed Harry to stop the paps. He needed Harry to breathe. He needed Harry, period. 

Niall assesses the man in front of him, ignoring the pang that hits his chest as he recognizes the dark red rims around the man’s eyes. “Niall.” He breaths, as if he doesn’t even believe the sight in front of him. 

Directly after his words, Niall takes in a shaky breath. “Harry, I don’t know what the fuck is going through your mind right now, but you better get your shit together right now. How dare you leave like that last night and then not even call me? I don’t fucking deserve that Harry Styles. I’m so fucking- God!” Niall rants, voice low and dangerous.

Harry’s eyebrows are furrowed. “What?”

“I-” Niall’s voice breaks and he has to look away before he breaks down. “I thought we meant more than that to you. I know that last night was scary and intense– I know Harry but- We mean so much more than that, don’t we?” He asks with a quaking voice. 

Harry’s eyes are tearing up too, something that doesn’t happen often, and that alone makes Niall let out a sob. “Baby, I- I thought you were leaving me! You just left while I was gone and you were sobbing and I hurt you and I- I wouldn’t forgive me if I was you.” Harry says shakily and Niall huffs out a laugh. 

“Harry, I’m in love with you. We got in a fight and yeah, you scared me, but I would never just leave you like that. I thought you knew me better than this.” Niall says, a disappointed look on his face. 

“And you thought that I would just abandon you? I left because you told me too, but only for a minute! I came right back and then you were gone!” Harry defended. “You told me to leave and I was so- so fucking guilty. I couldn’t stand myself after doing that to you.” Harry sighs. “The only reason I didn’t call is because I thought you didn’t want to hear from me.”

“Are you kidding?” He asks. “We’re both so fucking stupid.” He laughs and Harry joins him, pulling the blonde into the house and sitting on their favorite couch. 

Harry’s arm is around Niall’s shoulder as they face each other, but they’re still far apart from each other by their own standards. “Harry,” Niall begins. “What happened last night isn’t going to happen again.” He says and Harry nods in absolute agreement. “These past few hours without you have been hell. I don’t want to imagine days or months like that.” Niall says.  

Harry nods. “Never again, love, I swear I won’t ever hurt you. I’m so sorry that I scared us both darling.” 

Niall smiles softly. “Can you kiss me now?” He asks, making Harry roll his eyes. 

“Cheeky.” Harry chastises, but allows it, moving forward to kiss Niall chastely. “Now, go get dressed, I’m taking you to dinner.” 

Niall frowns. “Harry, you don’t– you know that you don’t need to take me places or buy me things or even let me live here for me to love you, right?” Niall asks. “I’m not.. I’m not a gold-digger.” Niall mumbles. “I think you know that, but I just want to make sure, sense of what you said last night and what everyone’s saying today… I swear I love you for you and only you. Sometimes I wish you were dirt poor like me so I could pay every once in a while.” Niall jokes, but it falls flat.

Harry sighs. “Sweetheart, I’ve been defending you sense day one. I know I failed you last night and today but I swear I won’t ever let anyone– especially myself degrade you ever.” Harry promises, kissing Niall’s nose sweetly. “Now go get ready.” He smirks, smacking Niall’s bum with a smirk. Niall lets out an embarrassed sound, turning around and glaring.

“Cheeky.” He repeats, a playful glare on his face.

Despite what people think, they’re happy, and that’s all that really mattes.

oh fuck was this bad/??? I tried so hard lol ;_; idek you guys loved “no sense” so much and spread it so much and I loved that you guys enjoyed it I hope this wasn’t like over compensating for nothing :\

Prompts are open! I do all niall centered tics including any OT3, OT4, OT5. You can see my previous writings here and my master post here. 

Needle And A Thread

shawn mendes x reader

prompt: you’re a celebrity and friends with shawn. After a series of unfortunate events, you find yourself locked on Shawn’s balcony alone. With him, a guitar, a fire, and your feelings


Today was the day that Shawn was throwing his incredibly popular celebrity parties. Shawn would invite almost every single celebrity to his extremely exquisite, luxury penthouse in L.A. We would laugh, sing, dance, and hang out like normal friends would.

I walked through the door and I immediately felt the bass of the incredibly loud music thumping in my ears. Tons of recognizable people dance around me. I was then greeted by one of my best friends, Hailee Steinfield.

“Y/N! It’s been so long, I missed you!” Hailee beamed, engulfing me in a hug

“Haiz! You look great!” I giggled. “So who’s here?” I asked

“Taylor Swift, Fifth Harmony, Justin Bieber, Bella Thorne, Gregg Sulkin, Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, One Direction, Zendaya, Selena Gomez, Nick Jonas, DNCE, Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid, Cara Delevigne-“

“Okay Hailee. I get it. There are lots of people here” I chuckled

“Well you were the one who asked!“ Hailee laughed

“Whatever. Anyway, what’s new with you?” I asked

“Nothing really, we just started filming ‘Pitch Perfect 3’ a few weeks ago, so that’s fun”

“Aww, that’s so cool. I just started recording my 3rd album”

"That’s awesome! But I wanna talk about something else” Hailee smirked while wiggling her eyebrows

“Okay… What do you wanna talk about?” I questioned

“Let’s talk about Shawn” Hailee beamed

I immideately blushed, “Haiz, you already know that I have the biggest crush on him. What else do you need to know” I nervously giggled  

“I just wanted to make sure that you still like him because you guys are definitely my OTP”

“Do you wanna go dance” I suggested trying to change the subject as ‘Same Old Love’ by Selena Gomez started playing

“Sure” Hailee agreed while dragging me to the dance floor

Hailee and I danced like no one was watching, even though everyone was. I guess you could say that we were on everybody’s Snapchat stories that night. As we were dancing, I noticed that a certain black haired girl came to dance with us. I noticed who it was and immediately squealed.

“Selena! I’ve missed you so much! How have you been?” I asked going in for a hug

Selena giggled, “I’ve been great girl! How are you and Shawn?”

My smile immediately dropped. Why did she ask about Shawn and I? “Um… Shawn and I aren’t a thing?” I replied

“Oh,” Selena looked confused, “It’s just that Hailee told me-“ Selena was cut off

“-Nothing! I told her nothing” Hailee yelled from behind me

“Well you obviously told her something” I answered

“Oh, don’t worry about it. Selena’s just…..drunk!” Hailee hesitated

“What- I am not drunk!” Selena retaliated

“Oh! I think I just heard Taylor calling your name! Bye Sel!” Hailee waved whilst pushing Selena towards the direction of Taylor. That was odd. After that weird encounter the night seemed to calm down a bit. Everyone was just sitting in the kitchen and living room talking and laughing. It was fun, we all felt like we were kids again. None of us saw each other as, just regular people.

“Hey! Do you guys think it’s time for the fire pit jam sessions!!!” We heard Dinah Jane from Fifth Harmony yell. Tons of people started yelling, expressing their agreement. Fire pit jam sessions is what Shawn would do at all of his parties. We would all go out to the balcony and sit around and sing songs together. Shawn’s balcony was beautiful. It was surrounded by couches that were attached to the edges and in the middle was a beautiful fire pit that could be used for any occasion. The view from the balcony was breathtaking. The city lights resembled stars in the midnight sky and it felt like you were looking at space through a telescope. 

I noticed Shawn taking his guitar outside as everyone else went to go throw out their drinks. My friends and I don’t drink so we were heading straight for the balcony. Right when I opened up the door to the  balcony I felt a hand push me into the balcony and lock the door behind me. I fell to the ground and was extremely confused. I turned to look at the glass door and noticed Hailee, Selena, Dinah, Normani, Lauren, Ally, and Zendaya all smiling and waving at me. I started banging on the door telling them to open up. I was immediately stopped when I heard a voice from behind me.

“Are you okay?” A voice chuckled. It was Shawn. Oh my god it was Shawn. I didn’t turn around because I knew that I would be even more embarrassed than I already was.

“Yeah I’m fine” I spoke in a shaky breath. I glared at my friends through the glass as they were all watching the ordeal in curiosity.

“You can come sit down if you want, I don’t bite” Shawn laughed. Gosh. Shawn’s laugh was the most beautiful thing ever. I slowly turned around and began walking towards Shawn. He was getting his acoustic guitar ready for the jam session.

“Why are you walking so slow? You act like I’m gonna try to murder you” Shawn joked. I noticed my slow pace and then began to walk at a normal pace. I sat down on the couch on the right side of Shawn. He looked around and then looked back at me.

“Where is everyone?” He asked

“Probably putting their drinks away?” I answered. I had no idea what was going on and I had no idea why my friends had done this. Shawn nodded his head. After a while of him tuning his guitar, he started to play a really nice tune.

“Wow. That sounds beautiful Shawn” I commented, absolutely breathless.

“Really? It’s something from my new album” He blushed

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar but I haven’t found anyone to teach me yet” I smiled

“I can teach you” Shawn replied nonchalantly

“Really?” I asked in shock

“Of course, you’re one of my best friends” Shawn smiled

“Do you think you can teach me something right now?” I inquired

“What do you wanna learn?” He asked whilst raising his eyebrow

“I wanna learn the bridge to Stitches” I answered

“Alright” Shawn agreed.

I moved to sit next to Shawn and he placed the guitar on my lap as he started to teach me.

“Here?” I asked placing my fingers on a whole different spot on the frets. Shawn and I have been playing this game for a while now. He would tell me where the notes were and I would place my fingers in a totally different spot. It was quite entertaining

“No Y/N, you know where you’re supposed to place your hands. How do I even put up with you anymore?” Shawn giggled. Oh my goodness. I’ve never heard Shawn giggle before and it was beyond the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.

“Okay. Enough of that. I think you’ve got it down let’s try to put it together and sing along.” Shawn suggested

I started to move my hands across the frets, playing the melody. Shawn and I then started to sing together


“Needle and a thread

Gotta get you out of my head

Needle and a thread

Gonna wind up dead

Needle and a thread

Gotta get you out of my head

Needle and a thread

Gonna wind up dead

Needle and the thread

Gotta get you out of my head

Needle and a thread

Gonna wind up dead

Needle and the thread

Gotta get you out of my head

Get you out of my head”


“Wow Y/N! That was great, you’re a really fast learner” Shawn was clearly impressed with me. I started blushing

“Only because you’re an even better guitar teacher” I giggled. Shawn pulled me into a hug. Shawn smelt so nice, and he was so cute. I’m surprised that I haven’t started crying just thinking about his beauty. Oh my god, why am I so weird? Shawn and I pulled away but before he could let go of me I noticed something on his face.

“Oh my god Shawn, you have glitter on your cheek” I laughed.

“Can you please get it off of my face?” Shawn laughed back.

I straddled his lap and picked the glitter off of his face and then turned to look him in the eyes. I suddenly realized how close we were. His arms were still around my waist and our faces were only centimetres apart. Before I knew it, our lips were touching and my arms were around his neck. Shawn’s lips were as soft as cotton candy and they tasted like strawberries dipped in chocolate. I was absolutely melting in his arms. Shawn and I pulled away and stared at each other in silence.

“I’m so sorry” Shawn spoke, breaking the silence.

“Sorry for what?” My mind was racing. Did he not like me? Did I just ruin our friendship?

“I’m sorry for not telling you that I liked you” Shawn smiled

“Oh my gosh. That’s great I thought you were going to reject me. I like you too Shawn” I sighed in relief.

“But I really do like you. You’re incredibly smart, lyrically gifted, and you have a magnificent personality. You truly are a magnificent human being, inside and out, flaws and all.” Shawn admitted. I was in a complete daze. Everything that Shawn had just said was absolutely marvellous.

“Wow, that was so beautiful and poetic” I giggled. I was blushing so hard right now.

“Shawn, you are the most handsome man that I have ever laid my eyes on. You are an incredibly sweet gentleman and your smile lights up my whole world. Your giggle is pretty cute too” I beamed

“That was so sweet Y/N. I’m guessing we’re dating now?” Shawn raised his eyebrow

“If you want to” I answered

“Well, I was actually just about to ask you out on a date to that Italian restaurant that you always wanted to go to, and yes we are a thing now” Shawn replied

“Great. I’m glad to call you my boyfriend and I would love to go on that date with you” I smiled

“Good. I’m also glad to call you my girlfriend.

“Finally!” A voice yelled. I heard the balcony door unlock and everyone started to pour into the balcony.

“You’ve been pining after her for way too long dude” Nick Jonas commented. I got off of Shawn’s lap and sat down right beside him.

“That was the cutest thing that I have ever seen in my entire life” Lauren Jauregui commented

“And that was all thanks to Hailee” Zendaya added

“What do you mean?” I asked in curiosity

“Well I may or may not have been planning to lock you two on the balcony until you finally confessed your love for each other” Hailee giggled

“Thank you for that Haiz” I smiled

“Anything for my best friend” Hailee laughed sitting down next to me. Everyone started settling down and the jam session soon started.

Maybe I should go to parties more often.

A/N: Wow that was incredibly cheesy :/

MASTERLIST

Give Into Me

I was currently helping my parents load up their car as they were leaving for the week. After putting the last bag in the trunk, and my dad closing it, they turned to look at me.

“bye sweetie.” my mom said pulling me into a hug.

“bye mom.”

“be safe, you know we’re only one call away, and you also know your brother’s number if you need anything.” 

My brother was older, 22 to be exact, and he was cool as fuck. He moved out when he was 18, got a place with a friend of his. I went over to see him all the time, he even had a drawer full of my stuff at his place, and my parents saw him as ‘responsible older brother’ so I could call him if I needed.

“I know. Now, get going you two.” I said, ushering my parents to the car.

“okay okay, jeez, it’s like you’re trying to get rid of us.” my dad laughed, buckling up in the drivers seat.

“me? never.” I smiled innocently.

“right.” my mother laughed as my dad started the car.

“love you sweetie.”

“love you too.”

==========================

“Okay seriously Kendall, I’m not wearing this.” I laughed, staring at myself in the mirror in disbelief.

“why not, you look hot.”

“I look like something you’d find on the corner.” 

“those are called prostitutes, and they don’t just work the corner, some work from the allies.” she laughed, looking at me in the mirror of my make up desk.

Since my parents were gone for the week, and Kendall was my best friend, she was gonna stay here a lot, in my brothers old room. And we decided to throw a party tonight, drinks provided by my brother, who said he’d only come if he could bring some friends.

“Kendall, I’m serious.” 

“fine.” she huffed, finishing up her mascara. “go find a different outfit, but make sure it looks good, I’m gonna get you laid tonight.”

“oh please, ever since Jake and I broke up, half the guys think I’m a bitch.”

“no, it’s not your fault you caught Jake cheating on you.”

“whatever. I know he’s gonna be here tonight.”

“really? did you invite him?”

“no, but I invited Tyler, and you know that they’re best friends.”

“whatever, we’ll just find you someone else tonight.”

I rolled my eyes as I walked out of my closet from changing into my new outfit.

“oh damn girl.” Kendall laughed, grabbing my wrist and pushing me down on the seat at the make up table. 

She loved when we decided to do anything, to do my hair and makeup. And I mean, I was lazy as hell, so I wasn’t complaining.

When we were finally ready there were people already showing up.

We walked downstairs to find my brother, John, walking in with his roommate, Nate.

“sup guys.” I spoke, following them into the kitchen.

“damn Audrey.” Nate spoke, looking me up and down, and causing John to turn around and look at me.

“the fuck. where’s your clothes.” John asked, as he started putting beer in coolers, and red cups out.

“John come on, I’m 19.”

“that doesn’t mean you can go around dressing like that.”

“you’re not gonna say shit about Kendall’s outfit though?” I raised my brow at him.

“she’s not my baby sister.”

“but she is your girlfriend.”

“and she looks hot as fuck.” John spoke, standing up, and Kendall walking over to him and kissing him on the lips.

As much as I hated to admit it, they were cute as hell together. They’ve been together 4 years now, and as much as the disgusted me, they were the definition of ‘relationship goals.’ 

“John baby, let it go, she looks good.”

“whatever.”

After that the four of us stood around and talked, and pregamed. John said Dillon was on his way over with all his shit, so we’d have music in no time, and he said a few of his friends would be by later.

=======================

Three hours later the party was in full swing. People were flooding from inside out back where the pool is. People were dancing, making out against the fence, already passed out drunk and even playing drinking games, which is what I was currently doing. Me and Nate against John and Kendall.

“John, I swear if you miss this we’re not having sex for like a week.” Kendall giggled.

“Oh baby, you and I both know you couldn’t last that long without it.” he laughed, wrapping his free arm around her, grabbing her ass and pulling her into him before throwing the ball.

We were in the middle of playing beer pong, and Nate and I had 2 cups left to make, and John and Kendall only had one.

“John!” Kendall laughed, hitting his chest as he missed the cup, it becoming Nate and I’s turn.

Nate missed the first one and I laughed. I’m pretty sure he’s made like 1 cup this whole entire game.

“Remind me next time to pick a better partner.” I laughed, bumping into him playfully. 

The thing with me is, when I start drinking, I get flirty. Usually just with Nate. We’ve been so close being as he is John’s best friend, and I practically grew up with him. He was also the guy I lost my everything too. He took me to prom his junior year, and that night we all got drunk and it just sorta happened. 

“remind me to pick a partner that’s a little less distracting.” he whispered in my ear, giving me chills.

I shook it off and sunk the cup, leaving it one cup to one cup, the rules being both people have to make it in the last cup.

Kendall was drunk, so her ball actually hit me and fell down my shirt. I laughed and reached for it and when I grabbed it I saw Nate practically staring at me with his eyes gouged out of his head. I laughed while John threw his and hit the rim of the cup before falling out.

I went first this time, throwing mine and making it with ease. Then I turned to Nate.

“Nate, please, you have to make this.”

“alright alright, I just need a kiss for good luck.” he smiled, his cute little dimples showing. I laughed and rolled my eyes before standing on my tippy toes and kissing his cheek.

“alright. I got this.” he muttered to himself before throwing his ball and making it in the cup as well.

Jumping up and cheering, I threw my arms around him, embracing him in a hug. I’ve been playing these games since I was 16, so I was pretty good at it and rarely ever lost, not once have I lost to my brother, and I was keeping that title. I like to rub it in his face.

“you guys were lucky.” John spoke.

“mhmm, whatever. you just suck.” I teased.

“whatever. Nate man, you wanna smoke one?” John asked, pulling a blunt out of his pocket.

“yeah man, I’ll meet you in the garage. I gotta take a piss.”

Kendall and I decided to go get more drinks, heading into the kitchen. Kendall was in the middle of making one when she looked up and her eyes popped out of her head. 

I went to look at what she was looking at but instead she shoved me, causing me to bump into someone behind me. I was shocked when their arms wrapped around me, catching me from falling, cause when we came in here, there were only two other people in the kitchen.

I turned around to face whoever caught me, ready to apologize for Kendall’s stupidity, but any words I had on the tip of my tongue I swallowed back down when I met his gorgeous brown eyes, which I so quickly got lost in.

We just stared at each other, and I felt as if no one else was in the room. That was until Kendall coughed, breaking my trance.

“I’m so sorry" I spoke quickly, taking a bit of a step back, but the strangers hand never leaving my side.

“It’s okay. No worries.” he smiled, and I felt myself get weak in the knees. His voice. His smile. How. How could a few simple physical characteristics be so perfect.

“I’m gonna go find my boyfriend.” Kendall announced, before coming up behind me and ‘whispering’ “get it girl.” before walking off.

I internally groaned. Of course she would embarrass me like that. She always tried to play wingman when she was drunk, but she was awful at it. Above me though, the stranger was chuckling.

“I’m so sorry about her. She’s obviously had a bit to many.” I laughed.

“it’s alright. It happens to the best of us.” he laughed. “I’m Jack by the way. Jack Gilinsky.”

“Audrey.” I smiled.

Jack and I stood in the kitchen and talked a bit more, over a few drinks, and before long, Jack was buzzed and I was drunk.

“so do you know Nate or John?” Jack asked after I got us two drinks, finding a seat on the counter top next to Jack.

“yeah.” I laughed.

“oh. You’re like, dating one of them?” he asked, and I couldn’t help but spit out a bit of my beer before swallowing the rest, causing Jack to look at me sideways.

“not normally the response I get.” he chuckled, bringing the bottle to his lips.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve never been asked if I’m dating my brother or my best friend before.” I let out a little giggle, this time Jack was the one who spit out a bit of his beer.

“shit. You’re John’s sister?” he looked at me wide eyed.

“yeah.”

“fuck.”

“what?” I asked.

“It’s just…nothing, never mind.”

“no!” I laughed, hitting his playfully. “you can’t just start to say something and not finish.” 

“It’s nothing. really.”

“no. you have to. my house, my rules.”

“damn” he laughed, “I just, John never said his sister was this hot.”

I blushed, and looked to see Jack biting his lip.

“John never told me his friends were this hot either.”

“oh really?” Jack asked, turning to look at me.

“mhmmm. I’m a bit disappointed in him. He’s been keeping secrets from me, his favorite little sister.” I muttered, as Jack stood in between my legs now.

“you’re his only sister.” Jack laughed.

“don’t ruin this for me.”

“okay okay, I’ll make it up to you.” he smiled, his hands resting on my hips.

“oh yeah? how do you propose you’re gonna do that?” I asked, as our faces were dangerously close now.

“we can have a secret of our own.” he whispered out, and despite it being so loud in the house with the music playing, I could hear him clear as day.

“and what might that be?” I ask in a low voice, our lips ghosting over each others before Jack leans in the rest of the way, connecting them. I link my arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me as his tongue slips in my mouth.

Those cheesy romance films, that talk about the sparks you’re supposed to feel when you kiss someone. Well, I never quite believed in that until now. It was like electricity running through my body, and I loved the feeling.

Breaking the kiss, we rested our foreheads against one another’s. Looking into each other’s eyes, he had a smile on his face, and I couldn’t fight the one coming onto mine.

“you felt it too right?” he muttered.

“yeah.” I whispered out.

After that, Jack and I spent most of the night together, just hanging out and talking, until we found Kendall and John, who were with Nate, Dillon and another guy I didn’t know.

Jack went to talk to the blonde guy and I walked over to Nate, who threw his arms around me.

“sup lil mama.”

“I wanna do shots.” I whined into his chest, causing Nate to look down at me.

“yo, Skate, gonna introduce me to your girl?” the blonde laughed, and Nate and I looked at each other before everyone started laughing.

“what’s so funny man?”

“Johnson, this is Audrey, John’s sister.” Nate laughed.

“oh fuck, man I didn’t know.”

“not a lot of people do.” I smiled, and looked at Jack, who was smiling at me.

“I’m Jack. Jack Johnson, but you can call me Johnson.”

“Nice to meet you.” I smiled, before turning and looking at everyone. “who wants shots?” and everyone cheered, so we made our way back into the kitchen.

I searched through the cupboards while everyone got cups ready. Finding everything I needed for a kamikaze, I mixed the liquids together, and poured them in everyone’s glasses.

“cheers” we all clinked our glasses before downing the shots.

After a few more rounds we were all either trashed, drunk or buzzed.

We all went outside and sat on the porch talking, drinking beer now, and passing around a blunt.

Kendall and Swazz were probably the biggest potheads I know, and then Nate. They could smoke all day long, and half the time they do. Me on the other hand, I liked my alcohol, so when it came to me, I passed it to Jack, who took a few hits and then passed it.

“oh G, better make sure you don’t smell like weed tomorrow.” Johnson laughed.

“oh right, you gotta babysit tomorrow don’t you.” Nate chuckled.

Jack just laughed and shook his head before bringing the bottle up to his lips, taking a long gulp and then looking at me. He nodded his head inside before getting up and telling everyone he was gonna go to the restroom. I waited a minute, until I finished my beer before getting up to go get another one.

Walking into the kitchen I was immediately wrapped up in Jack’s arms. I laughed as he spun me around, before he set me down and cupped my face, looking down at me.

“can I help you?” I giggled.

“let’s do some more shots.”

And we did. And that’s the last thing I remember from that night.

End of an era part 2

Masterlist

Number prompt list

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 1446

Rated: PG-13

End of an era part 1

“Son of a bitch”

“You are cordially invited to go fuck yourself” 

End of an Era Part 1


Harry.

That name made you cringe, and cry, and angry, and smile.

What an asshole. But is it all his fault?

Yes, he did have Kendall Jenner sitting on his lap when he told you that he was going on a business dinner. It wasn’t the first time. He had been pulling away from you. But you were too. You were so nervous that he was drifting away that you found yourself trying hard to be with him. They were problems that could have been talked out. That is something that you two usually did, but by then it was hard to keep a regular conversation let alone an important relationship conversation.

You shouldn’t have jumped. The gun and ended the engagement. That was stupid.

Do you regret it? That’s a good question. One that you have been asking yourself for the last two months. You ask yourself after every missed call you get from him. Every unread text message.

The ring haunts you. It sits on your counter and stares at you while you eat. About a week after you last saw Harry, you got a package in the mail addressed from his apartment. You hadn’t opened it for days after you received it. You were nervous for what was inside of it. Was it worth opening it or would it confuse you more? You had to find out.

Dear (Y/N),
I don’t know what I will ever be able to do to make you understand how sorry I am. I love you and I always will. There is nothing that can change that and there is a whole in my heart form when I realized there was a time in which I did it show you that every day. Please take this ring. I don’t care if you wear it or not. It just hurts me to have it. You can throw it out if you want. Just don’t tell me.
-H.

“You are cordially invited to go fuck yourself.” You whisper under your breath.

What an asshole. You don’t want this ring. You don’t want to look at this beautiful piece of silver and diamond to guilt you into calling him.

You try to avoid him at all costs. You live fairly close to eachother. You did that on purpose. You met Harry when you were still in college. He was on the road but when you graduated you got a job in London and got an apartment that was about 2 blocks away from Harry. You both go to the same stores.

You now find yourself getting in the car and driving 25 minutes to get to another grocery store just so you could avoid him. His was a daily activity, unfortunately.

You park the car and head inside. It is gloomy. It has been consistently gloomy ever since the breakup. You think it might be the universe trying to tell you something, but then again that’s just London. You are picking out a package of strawberries when you see him. The hair is unmistakable and the two sixteen your old girls staring at him only proves it.

It’s him.

“Son of a bitch.” You whisper under your breath.

You immediately run to the next isle and try to hide. Then he walks in and his head is buried in his phone. He looks up quickly almost as if he can sense your presence. His face is drained from color. He has no emotion in his eyes. He looks tired. You don’t look much better yourself, but he looks physically sick. You look down once you eyes meet and you can’t decide if you should turn around and ignore him or talk to him.

Even though it is a simple concept you can tell it means to him which step you take. It’s as if you move forward you are willing to try again. If you take a step backward you are done forever.

You take one step forward. The look in his eyes is almost joyous. Like a small breath of new life was breathed into his body. You can see the emerald green in his eyes beginning to emerge.

You begin to take more steps. Holding your breath as you walk. You are almost excited to be inching closer to him.

“Hi.” You whisper.

“Hi.” Harry replies with a small smile. “Can’t we talk?” His eyes plead for you to say yes.

“I don’t know Har-” You begin.

He cuts you off and says, “Please (Y/N).” You can tell that he needs this.

“I guess so.” You say, “But can we do it somewhere more private?”

He nods and pulls your arm. You speed walk out of the isle. Leaving your carriages by themselves in the isle. Harry pulls you into the bathroom.

“This couldn’t wait until we got back to the cars?” You ask.

“If I had left you to finish shopping you would have left and driven away. Wouldn’t you have?” Harry says quickly.

“Shut up you don’t know everything.” You say.

There is a long pause before Harry looks at the floor and says, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” You ask. You don’t care if you sound like a bitch. You deserve more than I’m sorry.

“Everything. Absolutley everything.” Harry says before you give him a look as if to say go on, “Thing with Kendall, the lying, pushing you away, not telling you every second of every say how much I love. You are a beautiful woman with a kind heart and you love me with all your heart. I took your for granted and I practically forgot about you. You don’t deserve that. You need to know you are loved.”

“You hurt me.” You whisper, “I sat at home while you were out having fun with other people.”

“I know and I will never be able to forgive myself for that.” Harry says as he places his hands on either sides of your shoulders. It is a comforting feeling.

“We have a lot to work on.” You say to him in all seriousness. 

“Yes, yes and you will never see me more focused. I will do anything, counciling, therapy, rehab.” Harry says excitedly.

“Rehab?” You ask.

“I don’t know I will take anything right now.” Harry says.

“I can see that.” You pause, “Uhh…Harry I don’t know.…”

“What do you mean?” He asks, worry is clear in his voice.

“I don’t know if I can trust you.” You whisper.

“Then we will take it slow.” Harry says as he takes your hands in his. You missed the feeling.

You pause and think. You love him more than anything and him the same to you. He is begging you Ina dirty bathroom at a supermarket. He deserves it. You can work on it. You both can. You pause and say, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Harry cheers.

“Okay.” You confirm with a smile.

Harry then does something that makes you suck in a breath. He gets on one knee.

“Harry it’s dirty.” You say as you try to pull him up.

“It’s worth it.” He whispers with a wide smile.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Harry pauses.

“Wait!” You stop him as you look in your purse. You pull out the ring and it glistens in the fluorescent light of the bathroom.

“You have it?” Harry asks as you can see the tears well up in his eyes.

“I didn’t want to leave it home alone.” You shrug honestly.

“(Y/N),” Harry begins again, “will you marry me?” It sounds so much better the second time.

“Yes, yes of course!” You laugh as Harry slides the ring in your finger and stands up. He pulls you into a hug and burrows his head into the corner of your neck.

“I thought we were going to take it slow!” You laugh as you pull back to look at his face.

“We can take it slow once we are married!” Harry jokes.

“I cannot believe we just got engaged for the second time in a dirty supermarket bathroom!” You laugh once more.

“Well, just think of it as a god story to tell our children.” Harry smiles.

And he was right, you did. You lean in and share a sweet kiss. The first of many not only as an engaged couple but as a married couple too. That kiss sealed everything. As if a new relationship was born from it. You and Harry were new again and more in love than ever.

Leak.

Harry?

Have you been online today?


Not that I remember, mum.

What’s going on?x


They’ve leaked some photos from my iCloud.

Very private ones.


What?

Mum, I’m so so sorry.


No, sweetheart.

This isn’t your fault at all.

I’m not too affected by it. Just a bit upset that they violated my privacy like that.


I’m sorry, mum. It is kind of my fault, they are my fans after all. It feels like I’m responsible for this so I’m very sorry. x

Don’t blame yourself, darling. They aren’t your responsibility.

What kind of photos did they leak?

From New Years. On the yacht.

No. No, no, no.

You have to talk to Y/N, Harry. I bet she’s super upset, these pictures really don’t look that good. It looks like you and Kendall were really a thing.

I will, mum. I hope she isn’t too upset, I told her about Kendall. Thank you for telling me about this. I’ll get this sorted out.xx

•••


“Shit!” Harry exclaimed and threw his phone onto the couch beside him.
“Oi, what’s going on?” Louis asked him from where he was sitting right beside him on the couch, Harry’s phone hitting his thigh.
They were all in Niall’s living room right now, having a nice little lads meeting. They haven’t done that lately, they’ve all been so busy since they took a break. This was the first time in months they were all in one place again.
“They leaked some photos from my mums iCloud. From new years with Kendall.”
“Hell, no.” Niall said with disbelief lacing his voice.
Harry buried his face into his hands, messing up his hair with his fingers.
Louis took his phone out immediately, opening Twitter and scrolling through his notifications.
“Fuck, mate. They are bad.”
Harry groaned and shook his head.
“You have to talk to Y/N.” Liam said.
“Oh, thank you very much but I know that. But what should I tell her? Hey, I’m sorry that those photos got leaked and I know it looks like Kendall and I were all lovey dovey and you probably think that I lied to you when I told you I’ve never been with her. But well, let’s just move on from it, yeah?” sarcasm dripped from his every word.
“Well, maybe not like that. Y/N is a strong girl, she dealt with a lot of shit since she’s been with you already.” Niall reassured him.
“I know she is strong but she always gets a little insecure when my past is brought up. Especially Kendall. I haven’t been with Y/N for too long and well, we never really talked about our feelings for each other-”
“Wait. What?” Louis asked incredulously.
“Obviously, she knows I’ve got feelings for her but I’ve never… I never told her exactly what I felt.” Harry sighed.
“Mate…”
“Yeah, I know. I’m an idiot. She probably already got all the stuff from my flat and is gone. What if she doesn’t realize they are leaked? What id she thinks I’m with Kendall right now?! What if-”
“Alright, you need to stop with these ‘what if’s. Y/N isn’t gone, I mean where is she supposed to go? She can’t go to her flat right now because that water stuff is being fixed and she wouldn’t just leave you like that. Just drive home now and talk to her, yeah? I bet she isn’t mad or anything like that.” Liam said calmly.
“What if she doesn’t trust me when I talk to her?” Harry whispered.
“She has to.”


Harry was home within twenty minutes after he left Niall’s apartment in a hurry and drove through the busy streets of London as fast as possible. He all but bursted through the door when he was finally in front of his apartment, almost stumbling over his feet when he took his boots off. He hurried into his living room, he knew she would be there.
She stood in front of the big window, dressed in one of his sweaters that was at least three sizes too big for her. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, a few strands falling out. She had her back turned towards him, he wasn’t able to see her face.
“Love?” Harry asked carefully, his voice just a whisper.
Y/N turned around immediately, surprise written all over her face.
“Oh, hi. I didn’t even hear you coming home.”
He studied her face closely, looking for any sign of sadness or anger. But there was nothing.
“Y-yeah. I got home as fast as possible when mum told me…”
She nodded understandingly, the corners of her mouth turning downwards slightly.
“Oh, yeah. It’s pretty bad. Is she okay, though?”
“Yes, she is. But… are you?”
“Me?” she asked surprised.
“Y-yes. I mean the pictures are…”
“Oh, you mean because they are of you and Kendall?”
Harry nodded once, scared of what was to come now.
“Don’t worry about it. I knew about you two, didn’t I?”
He looked at her with his lips parted, his ears not quite believing her calm words. He expected her to be upset, maybe even scream at him. He didn’t expect this at all.
“But…”
“I’m just a bit shocked how… close you really were with her. But I’m okay with it.”
“You aren’t upset?”
“No. I mean I’m upset that these people violated Anne’s privacy like that but other than that I’m all good.”
“Not even the slightest bit?”
“No, Harry.” she laughed.
“Do you want me to be? I can totally act like a jealous and possessive girlfriend if you want me-”
Harry didn’t let her finish her sentence, he walked over to her and wrapped her into the tightest hug ever. She groaned quietly at the force of his body against hers but she welcomed him anyway.
“I’m so sorry.” he whispered into her neck.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m not mad or anything. And it isn’t your fault.” she reassured him, her hand rubbing over his back soothingly.
He pulled back from their embrace, his hands now cupping her cheeks and stroking her soft skin.
“You’re so amazing you know that? I know we haven’t been together for too long and I really don’t want to scare you off, but… I love you. I’m so in love with you. You’re so gorgeous and amazing and so lovely and I fell hopelessly in love with you. I was so scared when my mum told me about the leaked pictures. I thought that you would have packed your things and just left me. But you didn’t even yell at me. I love you. I love you so much.”
He was rambling, he knew he was so he stopped himself and just pressed his lips to hers. She hummed against his mouth, letting him kiss her and kiss him back just as eagerly.
“I love you, too. I was scared to tell you too, but I do. I really love you.” she smiled lovingly at him.
He kissed her again, covering her mouth in loving and lingering kisses, showing her just exactly how he felt.

“You really thought I would leave you?” Y/N asked after a while.
“I mean… I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had.”
“Harry, they’re just pictures! I wouldn’t leave you for some leaked pictures. Just because you’re on them with you ex doesn’t mean I’m gonna break up with you.” she said.
“I know, I’ve just been scared. We never talked about our feelings before so I didn’t know if you felt the same about me.”
“Of course, silly. I would have left a lot earlier if I didn’t.” she giggled softly.
“Oi!”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.” he sighed playfully.

None of the Rest Matters

Sitting here at the bar drinking away every memory I had with Harry. I down my shot and order another as I feel the tears begin. Since he broke up with me a month ago I seemed to have picked up the habit of coming to this bar.

“Y/N can we talk?” Harry asks as I head to my bedroom to get my coat.

I laugh. “I thought we already were.” I say as I grab my brown leather jacket but as I turn around I see the Harry’s face looks very solemn. “It was a joke Harry.”

 

“I know… but I was being serious.”

 

I nod as I see that Harry was not in any mood for jokes. “Is something wrong?” I ask as I return to the living room and sit on the couch.

“In a way.” Harry stood in the foyer awkwardly. “I care about you.”

 

Oh shit, nothing good ever comes from hearing those for words because a but always followed. I sigh. “Just spit it out Harry.” I hated when people beat around the bush.

 

“I can’t do this anymore. I care about you always will but I am just not in love with you anymore. I don’t know how but-“

 

I ran my fingers through my hair. “You don’t just fall out of love with someone Harry, it takes time.” I say desperately trying to understand the way this conversation was going to end.

 

“I know and I just didn’t want to see yo-“

 

“Hurt? Heartbroken? Guess what Harry it does not really matter because it all hurts the same in the end.” I say in a quite voice.

 

“I know and I hate doing this to you Y/N but with the tours and my schedule there’s just no time for us and the less time we spent together I guess I just felt we grew apart and my feelings changed I-“

I whipped my head up and glared at him. “Don’t even apologize. You should have told me!”

 

“I didn’t know how…” He says desperately.

 

“You need to leave.” I say holding onto my self-control otherwise I would beg him to stay to change his mind and that was something I couldn’t do.

 

“Y/N…”

 

“Leave. Now.” I say as I stand up.

 

“Don’t be like this…” Harry says stepping towards me.

 

I laughed sarcastically. “Like what? Hurt?”

 

“I…”

 

“You could have talked to me but instead these last couple of weeks you shut me out. “ I say reflecting on the significantly less amount of time we texted, Skype, or talked on the phone together.

 

“I am sorry….” Harry said backing up towards the door.

 

“No you’re not.” I say feeling the anger seep in. “If you missed me or cared about me you wouldn’t have shut me out. So I guess in the end we never really mattered. “

 

“You matter to me Y/N just not in that way.” I laughed sarcastically again. “No I don’t if I did then this isn’t how we would end.”

 

Harry opened my front door. “I will always care about you and be there for you just not in that way.” Harry says as he headed out my front door and out of my life.

 

As the door shut I slid myself to the floor. “ You can’t be in my life in any way Harry.” I say to the silence that consumes me.

Sighing I took my next shot. Harry had called earlier today to ‘hang out’ but I still couldn’t see him I wasn’t ready to I mean after a year of dating I being friends was a huge blow to the ego.

“Another one?” The bartender asks me.

I shake my head in response. “No. I can’t do this anymore.” I say more to myself than the bartender but he seems to understand. He nods and moves on to the next customer. I stand and grab my jacket as I head for the door. I needed to move on, maybe even move away from the memories, and drinking only allowed me the glimpse into the past of what was and I needed to know what will be. As I arrive at my place I see a figure sitting on the stoop. When I get closer I notice that figure is a worried Harry. I rolled my eyes. “What on earth are you doing here?” I ask as I climb the steps to get into my apartment.

“You haven’t returned my calls.” Harry says worriedly.

“Sucks doesn’t it when someone you care about ignores you.” I say snarkily.

“Don’t do this Y/N.” Harry pleaded as I opened the door and stepped inside.

“Stop worrying about me Harry. I’m a big girl I can handle myself.” I say trying to shut the door on his face.

Harry grabbed the door and shoved it open. “I can’t.” He says as he forces himself into my building.

“Try harder.” I say as we make our way to my apartment.

“I just need to know if you are okay.” Harry said looking sad.

“Just peachy now go home Harry.” I say overly sweet.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Harry says quietly as I entered my apartment.

“Harry please go home. There is nothing here for you anymore.” I say even though it hurts.

“Can we please be friends? I can’t live without you in my life you mean to much.” Harry says pleading with me.

I give a small smile because even though he broke my heart it hurts to so him this way. It hurts more knowing that he means it. “I can’t be friends with you Harry. I can’t be anything with you and you need to stop calling and texting me.” I say being as firm as possible.

“Y/N…”

“I’m not saying it to hurt you. I’m saying it because it is what I need.” I say gently pushing him out of my apartment.

“I’m so sorry. Please I need us to be friends. I need my best friend.” Harry says pleading with me with tears in his eyes.

“Go home Harry and please stop trying to talk and see me.” I say shutting the door gently.

“Y/N!” Harry shouts on the other side.

I lock the door with to signify I was done. I stripped off my jacket and headed to my room. I needed a long hot shower to clear my head and get the picture of Harry out of my mind.

________________________________________________

It’s been three months since I last saw and talked to Harry. Life seemed to get better and I was happy again. It still hurt to know that Harry had fell out of love with me and I still couldn’t bring myself to face him but I was moving on. Since it was my first night back my best friend’s and I went to dinner. As I food comes I notice the One Direction boys being seated in the large booth next to us. I smiled to myself and threw myself back into my friend’s conversation. As we headed out to the parking lot I heard my name being called.

“Y/N!” A masculine voice called after me. I took a deep breath and turned to face Harry.

“Harry.” I say with a small smile. It was odd that I still got a pain in my chest when I saw him, I guess something’s don’t really fade in time.

“You look good.” He says nervously. I laughed. “Thanks so do you. I take it that was your new girlfriend?” I ask referring to Kendal Jenner who was still in the restaurant.

He gave me a small smile. “Something like that.” He says sheepishly.

“It was good to see you.” I say making my way to my car because it still hurt to see him.

“I’m sorry.” Harry says stopping me in my tracks I turn to Harry and give him a funny look.

“What?” I questioned.

“For hurting you and putting you threw hell.” Harry says running his hands threw his hair.

“Harry…” I say trying to make him stop. It still hurt and I could feel the dull ache in my chest growing again.

“No you were right.” He says stepping closer to me. “ I shut you out and I hurt you so bad. You and I were great together but… It seemed to great and I-I couldn’t do it anymore.” He says as he crowds me.

“I am not doing this with you.” I say through the chaos of emotions that ran threw me. “I have moved on from being angry and hurt Harry. You don’t need to feel guilty, okay? Things change, people change, maybe we were just meant to be together to show each other how great love is.” I say realistically.

“Y/N… It’s not guilt. I didn’t just push my girlfriend away I pushed my best friend away and I ended up losing her.”

I backed away from Harry. I was not ready for this I still needed time. “I’m leaving now.” I say turning around to walk to my car that was parked ten feet away.

“No.” Harry shouted as he grabbed my arm. “You had your time. I messed up dammit and I have paid for it every day since. Trust me.” Harry says angrily. “Three months Y/N and not a single word.”

As confused as I was due to my chaotic emotions I could recognize the anger building up. “You broke my heart Harry what the hell did you want from me? ‘Oh it’s okay Harry let’s be friends.’ Sorry buddy but you may have fell out of love with me but I was still holding on so forgive me for needing time!” I shouted.

Harry’s eyes narrowed. “Not being friends for a while I get but you cut me out. You left me.”

I shoved Harry’s hand off my arm. “You left me long before that.” I say running a hand through my hair. “You shut me out first.”

“I still needed you Y/N” Harry shouted, “I still do.”

I shook my head. “I can’t do this with you Harry.”

Harry stepped closer to me. “I need you. I need to know I can call you day or night and that you’re actually going to answer.”

I continue to shake my head and step away from Harry. “That’s thing Harry you can’t.” I could see the hurt look quickly go across his face and was quickly replaced with a mask of anger just as fast.

“I gave you time. I did all you asked I left you alone even though it killed me Y/N.”

“I am sorry for that Harry but I need to find someone els-“

Harry’s eyes narrowed and he stepped closer to me. “Find someone else?”

I narrowed my eyes. What the hell was his problem? He dumped me yet he’s angry I want to find someone else. “What the hell is your problem? What is wrong with me finding someone else?”

“You can’t.” Harry says crowding me.

“Why not? You lef-“

“Don’t say I left because I didn’t. I wanted to be there for you.”

“You couldn’t be Harry! How was I supposed to get over you then?” I shouted as I felt rain drops hit my face. Great just my luck. “ You know what don’t answer that. I am leaving.” I say making my way to the drivers side of my car. “

Y/N…” Harry says so quiet that I can barely here him over the rain.

“Goodbye Harry.” I say as I climb in. ___________________________________________

I groan and roll over as I hear a buzzing noise. I padded to my front door. “Who is it?” I ask angrily. It’s two am what the hell would any one want at this hour?

“Y/N…” a masculine voice says quietly.

“HARRY! It’s two am!” I shout at the box in front of me.

“Buzz me in!” He shouts back.

“GO HOME!”

“You don’t let me in I will start annoying the neighbors.”

“Fuck! Fine!” I shouted buzzing Harry up. Two minutes later there was a knock on my door. I opened it and a very depressed looking Harry walked in. “Are you drunk?” I ask because it seems like the only logical answer to why he was at my place at two in the morning after I told him I didn’t want to see him.

“Sadly no.” He says grimly.

“What are you doing here at two am then?” I questioned.

“I told you I need you.” He says as he throws his hands up in defeat.

“And I told you I need to be left alone!” I shout.

“I can’t do that anymore.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Why not? Please due explain!” I shout as I begin to pace the room.

“I was wrong.” Harry says quietly.

“What?” He was wrong so he can’t leave me alone? What the hell kind of logic was that.

“I thought leaving you would make them happy.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. ‘Them happy’. “What the hell are you talking about Harry?”

Harry gave a sarcastic laugh. “You were always so smart.” He says shaking his head. “Who falls out of love Y/N? Like you said it doesn’t happen over night.”

I sat down at this point. “What is going on Harry?”

“You really thought I just stopped loving you? You’re the only person who knows all sides of me. You’re what I can’t live without. I love you Y/N.”

I felt tears start to fall. “You left me.” I say burying my face in my hands.

Harry gave another sarcastic laugh. “I never left and I never stopped. I wasn’t lying Y/N I needed you, still do. I didn’t break your heart because I wanted to, it was the last thing I wanted to do but I had no choice.”

I sat in silence as Harry began to pace.

“Management thought it would keep you safe if we ended things and I agreed with them. You were getting so much hate and I could tell every time we were on the phone that it hurt you and I-I did what I thought was right.”

“Harry…” I say trying to process what he was saying.

“I love you Y/N and it killed me to tell you it was over but I had to protect the one thing I loved. I needed to be in your life because I still loved you and losing you would have hurt all the much more if I lost you as a friend too.”

I thought back to the weeks leading up to the night Harry broke up with me and began to cry.

Harry stopped pacing and bent down to rest his forehead against mine. “I’m so sorry. I was going to let you go I really was but I saw you tonight and I just fell in love all over again. I can’t lose you again. I won’t.”

“You put me through hell.” I say through the tears.

“I’m- “

I picked my head up and locked eyes with him. “You could have told me but you decided not to.” I say as I wiped my face.

“No. You and I both know that neither one of us could have pretended.”

“I loved you so much.” I say shaking my head. “It killed me thinking that you didn’t love me anymore. Do you get that?”

Harry pulled me into a soul searing kiss. “Do you get that?”

“Har-“

“No. I know you still love me and I know I put you through hell, but we- we fit together.”

“You-“

“We aren’t dating.” Harry says reading my mind. “forgive me Y/N please..” Harry says quietly.

I study his face and begin to see the difference from this one to the one I saw weeks before we broke up. He had dark shadows under his eyes, he looked paler and looked like he lost weight but the most change I saw was in his eyes the sparkle that always seemed to linger was gone. As much as it hurt me the break-up looked like it took a harder toll on him. “Why now?” I ask.

“Because I am sick of living without you.” He says simply.

I stand up and put my arms around his waist. “Thank god because I can’t do this anymore.” I say as I bury my head in his chest.

“That’s it?” Harry asks.

I smile. “I’m still pissed that you broke up with me and you are going to have to earn back my trust but that’s it. I never stopped loving you but you hurt me Harry and I still hav-“

He lifted my chin up. “If your still mine none of the rest matters.” Harry says before bringing his lips to mine and for the first time in months I feel like I am truly happy.

Give Into Me: XX

I woke up the next morning tangled up in the sheets, Nate still sleeping next to me. And as much as I would have loved to stay in bed and cuddle, I needed a shower. I promised my mom we would go out to lunch today, me her and Kendall.

So I got out of bed and picked up the clothes from last night and got in Nate’s drawer to find a bra and panties to put on when I heard a raspy voiced Nate.

“damn ma. now this is definitely a sight I don’t mind waking up to.” he laughed, causing me to turn around.

“morning babe.” I smiled.

“what’re you doing?” he asked as I walked over to him and kissed his lips briefly.

“I was just gonna shower. You wanna join me?” I asked, looking into his eyes.

“what kinda question is that” he laughed.

“okay” I smiled, leaning down to press my lips to his, running my hand above the sheet, up along his thigh and then palming him through the sheet where there had been a little tent in before. “maybe I can help you out with that.” I whispered in his ear before turning and heading into the bathroom and turning on the water.

Climbing in the shower I was soon joined with Nate.

“mmmmm damn baby. you look good.” he groaned, wrapping his arms around me and sucking on my neck, causing me to let out a little moan.

======================

“fuck Nate, harder.” I moaned out as I was bent over in the shower, Nate having a hard grip on my hips and pounding into me from behind me.

I was close, clenching around Nate and earning a loud moan to come out from Nate.

“fuck babe, do that again” his voice raspy. And when he slammed into me again I clenched around him, lunging forward though from how hard he was going.

It wasn’t long before I was screaming Nate’s name as I came, Nate pulling out and pumping himself, his load shooting onto my back.

I stood up breathless, turning in Nate’s arms and placing a lazy kiss on his lips.

“god” I breathed out earning a little chuckle from him.

“turn around lemme clean you up a bit” he laughed, taking a washcloth and cleaning up my back from his cum, finishing up, I turned around to face him again, just admiring him.

“alright, as much as I enjoy the sight of you with water all over your sexy ass, you got lunch with your mom and Kendall today.” Nate muttered as his hands traced up and down my sides.

“I know.” I sigh, turning off the shower “plus you’ve gotta get to the studio.”

“yeah, but I’ll see you tonight babe.” he smiled.

“yeah. I might stop by the studio later, if you’re okay with that?” I asked as I had a towel wrapped around me.

“of course babe. I love when you come see me in the studio.” he smiled, a towel hanging low on his hips.

========================

“I’m so happy you and Nate are finally together.” my mom said as we were out to lunch, Kendall humming in agreement.

“if you ask me, you shouldn’t have dated Jack at all and just dated Nate to begin with.” Kendall spoke.

“I agree with Kendall. It seems to me it’s always been you and Nate. For heavens sake you guys have been inseparable for what seems like ever.” my mom smiled.

“I think Jack was just a new thing. I think you really weren’t aware of your feelings for Nate, and he was oblivious to his feelings for you, but I think that all changed once you and Jack started dating and then the shittier Jack was towards you the more you realized it was Nate all along.” Kendall nodded cockily.

“I mean…I’ve never felt this way with someone before.”

“You’re in love.” my mom spoke.

“mom, we’ve only been together 3 months.”

“oh please. It’s so obvious you’re in love with him. and he’s completely head over heels for you honey. My goodness, he looks at you like John looks at Kendall, and you look at him like she looks at John and they’ve been together how long now? 5 or 6 years. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with him…when you know, you know.” my mom preached, her years of experience with love and heartbreak adding to her wisdom.

I didn’t reply, I just smiled and a little blush came to my face as I looked down and played around with the remaining food on my plate.

My mom and Kendall slipped into a conversation shortly after that, and we went about the rest of our lunch just making a few small conversations.

After we were finished, my mom left, heading off to the grocery store for a cookout next week, and Kendall and I headed towards the studio.

==================

Walking into the studio I was hit with a cloud of smoke. Walking into the room further I saw Nate and John sitting on the couch along with Sammy and Stassie.

“hey babe.” John greeted Kendall, her walking up to him and squeezing in next to him.

Nate got up and walked to me, kissing me briefly, Stassie squealing a bit since ‘she’s always shipped us’ and was so happy we were actually together.

“are you gonna do that every time?” I laughed, sitting next to her as Nate headed into the booth with Sammy.

“no” she smiled. “I’m just so happy you guys are finally together. I honestly love you two together. Jack was an ass.” 

“yeah. I know.” I laugh, sitting back and watching the boys in the booth.

After they finished we all just kinda hung out and talked. It was on the ride home that Nate kinda took me by surprise.

“hey babe.”

“hmm?” I asked, playing with his hand that was locked with mine.

“you know I’ve never felt like this about anyone before right?”

“yeah” I smiled, bringing his hand up to my lips and placing a delicate kiss on his knuckles. “I’ve never cared about someone as much as I care about you.” I muttered.

“I care about you so much Audrey, you have no idea. You mean the world to me, and I hate that I the world doesn’t get to know that…” he trailed.

“okay?”

“I wanna tell the fans. I mean if that’s okay with you. I know we wanted to keep it lowkey for a while in case anything happened, but I don’t see us ever not being together. I’ll be dammed if I lose you.”

“so you wanna go public?” I asked, just to clarify.

“damn right baby. I want everyone to know how much you mean to me, and how happy you make me. and I don’t wanna have to worry about trying to control myself around you out in public now. I want everyone to know that Audrey Swift was the girl that got Nate Maloley to finally cuff.” 

“okay” I smiled, leaning over to kiss Nate, just getting the corner of his lips so he could focus on the road.

========================

When we got home Nate and I cuddled and watched some movies, and then eventually we posted a picture on instagram basically confirming that we were together.

laying around in Nate’s bed when we got home just making small talk more than anything. Nate’s hand tracing shapes on my thigh.

“Audrey.” he muttered after a minute of silence.

“hmm?” I hummed, turning to look at him.

“you’re the best damn thing that’s happened to me.” he muttered, nuzzling into me a bit more, and closing his eyes.

It wasn’t long before Nate had fell asleep, and I was still up on my 7th episode of prison break when my phone went off. Finding it strange that someone would be texting me at 2 in the morning, I groaned and grabbed my phone, shocked at who it was.

Texting back, the conversation took a turn for something I didn’t expect at all.

Sexual Romancing

Don’t get excited. This isn’t super racy or anything. That’s just how I explained to my nana why I was screaming. “Selena and Justin were…sexual romancing.” And she laughed informing that I could have said grinding…anyway! Read on. 

——–

Walking around with Kylie and Kendall all day couldn’t have been more tiring. Selena loved the idea of Coachella, especially the style it called for. And hanging out with two of her favorite people was wonderful. But while dancing at concerts, they flirted while she was thumbing her phone. Responding to her boyfriend. 

Of course guys flirted with her. She was Selena Gomez, not to mention quite a looker. And with rumors swirling around that ‘Jelena’ was over, guys were tripping over themselves to go on a date with her. They weren’t giving up on the chance this time around. And every time her answer would always be the same, 

“Sorry I’m taken, but flattered." 

She didn’t want to ask him to attend, because honestly it was better for him not to be in California. But Justin could tell. He would receive constant messages from her, throughout the day. That was never something that occurred while with her friends. 

So he decided to visit her. But he couldn’t be there without a reason. If he did, everybody would automatically know the sole reason was to see his girlfriend. If their relationship would work, then they would have to ease everyone into it. Especially his fans. 

So he got Chance to let him perform along side of him. Heading off to California as soon as he agreed. Bringing the team along with him. People who wouldn’t dare leave his side. 

Justin couldn’t have come at a worst time. 

The Kendall and Kylie had ran off to some friend of theirs, promising Selena they would be right back. She didn’t mind, because then she could go see Vanessa. Seeing as Kylie and Stella didn’t see eye to eye these days.

But a fan had stopped her. A guy fan. 

It amazed her that males had any slight interest in her career, then she always remembered it wasn’t for her work. Her beauty was alluring and guys would go in a frenzy to get a picture of her. She found it cute, some times creepy.

But this one had approached her adorably. He was shy in asking for a picture. Selena had to assure him that she was perfectly okay with it, especially because she wasn’t busy.

"Thank you. Hey you look really pretty today.” The guy–Jacob-complimented. Her peach shirt stopped above her belly button, and her shorts could be considerate as short shorts. Of course he took interest in her attire.

“Thank you.” She bowed her head, looking elsewhere. Trying to hint at him to leave. Being polite as possible. Unfortunately he didn’t pick up.

And that’s when Justin approached.

Seeing his girlfriend uncomfortably stand in another man’s presence was not what he liked to be welcomed to. It agitated him to no end, actually. Everybody knew he was quite protective over his girl. 

Going up to her, as quietly possible. 

But Selena felt a presence behind her, approaching slowly. Before Justin could take two more steps, she whipped around. In a matter of seconds her face lit up, and she was running toward him. Not just excited that he was there, but because he could save her from Jacob. 

“Jay!” She yelled. A smile took over his face, and he opened his arms for her. She jumped, and he took her off her feet, hands gripping her waist tightly. 

“I missed you so much.” Justin gushed, planting sweet kissing all over her face. Selena giggled, shaking her head. “Stop, idiot.” She whined, playfully, pushing against him. But basking in the way his lips felt against her skin. It was magical. And made her forget about Jacob completely. “Did you miss me?” Justin whispered. She shook her head. 

She slid back down to her feet, grinning widely. As soon as she was on the ground, she stood on her tip toes, kissing him eagerly. They hadn’t been apart for long, but a day was a long time going without one of Justin’s kisses. 

When they pulled away for a much needed breath, Justin caught Jacob’s glance. His eyes turned to slits, and a smirk on his face. 

Finally the pair departed from each other, a knowing smile on Justin’s face. “So you didn’t miss me, right?” Selena rolled her eyes, “Shut up, Bieber." 

Kylie and Kendall soon found the couple, and rolled their eyes in the process. "Its so sickening how adorable you guys are.” Kendall spoke up catching their attention. Selena looked down at their connected hands and laughed. “Jealous, much?" 

"All I’m saying is it looks like a bracelet.” Selena shrugged, speaking in reference to Kendall’s 'nose ring’. Justin covered his laugh with his hand. Kylie not bothering to hide her amusement. “I think you mean bedazzled horse shoe.” The girls burst out in laughter. The guys–Justin, Za, and Alfredo–chuckling to themselves. 

“Oh yeah? Don’t talk about me, Sel. Your boyfriend looks like he’s going gangster fishing.” The joke caused an uproar in the group, gaining a few glances. Selena being the only one to giggle softly. 

“Shut up. I look dope, right Sel?” Justin looked down to his girlfriend, expectantly. Her mouth hung open for a few seconds, before she nodded. 

“Leave my baby alone. He looks adorable in his scarf and hat.” She cooed, cupping his cheeks. The men laughed again. Justin frowning and shrugging her off of him. “Selena-a. I don’t look adorable. I look dope.” She nodded, “Oh right. He looks dope.” Hearing the word coming from her mouth caused him to laugh also. 

“Oh really? You don’t think he keeps wearing scarves to cover up that hideous neck earring?” Kylie hummed, tilting her head in direction of his newest tattoo. Or what Selena hoped was his newest tattoo. 

The blonde’s cheeks burned pink, and Selena bit back a laugh. “Its dope.” She looked to Justin, wide eyed, for reassurance. He chuckled, kissing the top of her head. “Thank you, baby." 

When Selena learned Justin was there to perform, she was nervous. This wasn’t exactly the crowd that liked or appreciated Justin. If anything these were the people that hated him the most. 

And here was, giving a surprise performance. Did she show her fears? Of course she wouldn’t. Justin was nervous enough without the added pressure of her stressing. The last thing he wanted to do was let Selena down. 

"I don’t want to go on, Sel.” Justin breathed, looking out among the crowd of hipsters. It seemed like such a good idea, before. But now he was just scared. Getting booed wasn’t something on his top ten list of things to do. 

Selena tightened her grip on his hand. Giving him a reassuring smile. “All you have to do is go out there and do what you do best. Perform.” He sensed the fear in her eyes, but appreciated the effort. “Thank you, babe." 

"And welcome my man, JUSTIN BIEBER!” Chance yelled, extending his arm to the wing. Surprisingly enough, the crowd erupted into cheers. Fading any worries Selena had. 

“Oh stop bragging.” Selena rolled her eyes, leaning on Justin’s shoulder. She might have been a little tipsy, but not enough to take her top off or anything. Not that Justin would let that happen. 

“I’m just excited I did well.” He smiled down at the stumbling girl, clutching onto her boyfriend’s arm. And he was. It had been so long since he had been on stage. The familiar adrenaline rush, getting lost in entertaining. It was something he definitely missed about being on tour.

But every time he looked down at Selena, he remembered one reason to stay.

“My stupid hair keeps falling in my face.” She grumbled, plopping down on his lap. They had finally reached Jhene’s performance spot, and decided to just wait patiently. Especially because Selena was getting a bit grumpy from walking so much.

“Here.” Justin offered, removing the bandanna from his wrist. He turned the brunette to face him, and swept her hair over her shoulder. She hazily smiled at the man as he tied it around her head–keeping hair from falling in her brown eyes.

“Better?” He asked. “Better.” She clapped her hands like a child. Drunk Selena was two things. Childlike and adorable, or Sensual and sexy. There was no in between. And no way to guess which you were going to get. 

When the music started, Selena leaped to her feet. Hips swaying softly to the music. Hands thrown in the air, carelessly. She turned slowly, hips shaking faster when the music sped up. Hands finding her body. 

It was a sight to see. Selena being so free. Normally she was so self conscious, looking out for paparazzi at all times. Twice as much whenever Justin was around. It was true what she said. She would always protect him.

His eyes were glued to the dancing girl. Enticed and aroused. But when he heard a cat call, he snapped up to her body. Shielding his most prized possession from hungry males. 

“Justin! What are you doing?” The woman squealed. Justin sighed, wrapping his girlfriend close to him. 

“They keep looking at you, baby. I don’t want any bad press or anything.” He mumbled into her ear. Her back was pressed to his chest, hands still in the air. 

She shook her hips, again. Creating Justin’s underwear to compress. His breath hitched, and hands found her waist. There was a satisfied smirk on her face. “Don’t you wanna dance with me, baby.” Her voice low, and raspy. 

Justin groaned, “Sel-” “Let loose, Jay. Dance with me." 

And that’s exactly what he did. Selena’s hips rolled, grinding against the growing bulge in Justin’s pants. Her eyes were closed, getting lost into the music–as she often did. 

Justin’s movements matched hers, hands gripping her bare waist. With each flick of her hips, his want grew. Selena was a goddess by herself, but with the outfit choice today, she was a fantasy. 

"God dammit, Selena.” The blonde moaned, flipping her to face him. She giggled lightly, arms wrapping around his neck. Basically hanging off of him. Eyes hazed over, full of lust. 

“Hmm?” Selena hummed, entangling her fingers through his sandy locks. A smirk playing on her full pink lips. Justin glared down at her, slightly. 

“You know what you’re doing.” He whispered, breath hitting her nose. His dimples showing, cutely. She crinkled her face, resembling a bunny. “Don’t act like you aren’t doing the same." 

In that moment, that silence, they just stared at each other. Some times they just were amazed they had the other. Especially this soon in life. It was simply remarkable. And having the schedules they did, every little thing counted in their relationship. 

It was like they had the same thought, at the same time. 

In one heated moment, their lips smashed together. Passion radiating off the other, everyone around them could basically sense of love they shared. 

Without even having to ask, their tongues fought for dominance, basking in the taste of their lover. Justin pressed Selena closer to him, trying to feel her completely. 

When he nipped at her bottom lip, she let out a loud moan. Which could have sent him over the edge, right then and there. But he simply demanded her to jump, the rasp in his voice enough to make her throw out all caution. 

Obediently, her legs wrapped around his waist. His hands going under her thighs, supporting her.

"Damn, Who knew I would watch people have sex in front of me. I’m quite aroused.” Kylie’s voice sounded over the music. 

Caught in surprise, Selena leaped out of Justin’s arms. Putting her head into his chest. “Hey don’t let me stop you. That was sexy.” Kylie rose her hands innocently. 

“I hate y'all.” Selena mumbled, staying tightly pressed into Justin’s chest. The laughs of their friends filling the air. 

————–

I hate it still. And I redid it a billion times. I just feel like I should post it, because Its been forever. Soooo here y'all go. I’m kind of in a stump atm so sorry.