and it was still over the limit so it looks..like crap

Star Spangled Man With A...

Avengers team x reader.

Warnings: swearing, violence, implied injury

Word Count: 1,759

First avengers fic please be nice


   “Y/n can you come here please?” Natasha called from somewhere on this floor.

Where on this floor was a completely different matter.

   “Where is ‘here’, Nat?” I called back, standing from my bedroom floor.

   “My room,” she shouted. “I need your help with something,”

I stepped out of my room into the dark hallway, and stealthily made my way to Natasha’s room. just casually using my shadow abilities to blend in with the darkness and travel through the shadows to get to Natasha’s room faster.

   “What do you need?” I leant on her door frame after stepping out of the shadows and watched as she awkwardly tried to assemble a step under her light. “What are you doing?”

   “I’m trying to change the light bulb but someone’s taken the ladder and I’m small,” she huffed as she stacked another book onto the pile of crap in the middle of her room.

I felt someone walked behind me and saw Bucky and Steve headed down the hallway. I caught Steve by the arm, making him stop.

   “Y’know Nat,” I said, dragging Steve into the room. “I can’t help you change your light, but the Star Spangled Man With A Plan Sure Can,”

I smiled like a goofus as they both stared at me and Bucky snorted before continuing down the hall giggling to himself.

   “You’re so proud of your shitty jokes aren’t you?” Natasha laughed finally.

   “Actually I’m just proud of getting that whole sentence out without fucking it up,” I grinned before skipping out of the room. and back into the darkness.

   “You guys swear so much,” I heard Steve mutter.


The following night we’d all settled in the huge living room to hang out and watch a movie.

I couldn’t remember the name of the movie but it had dragons which was cool.

   “Hey Tony,” I called across the room.

   “Yeah?” he said through a mouthful of popcorn.

   “Can you get a tanning bed for the tower?” I asked.

Natasha laughed and Sam choked on his drink at the randomness of my question.

   “Y/n we go outside daily what the hell for?” Tony chuckled at me.

   “I wanna force Steve into it so I can called him The Star Spangle Man With A Tan,” I said plainly, succeeding in holding in my laughter.

Clint clearly wasn’t trying as hard as me as he burst into a fit of giggles on the couch.

Bucky laughed and muttered something that sounded like “eat it Steve” But I couldn’t be sure.

Steve just shook his head turned the volume on the movie up.


The next day we went on a mission was the best I’d ever been on because Steve just kept finding himself in positions where I could take the piss.

The first was in the gym that morning we were working on an agility warm up game and Steve was explaining what he wanted us to do.

   “First you’re going to run the beam while dodging swinging punching bags,” He pointed to one end of the room where that course was set up. “Then you have to make it over the sponge pit via the money bars and avoid being hit with a dodge ball, and then you will climb over the A frame, rescue the ‘civilian’ and carry them back down to safety all the while being attacked by ‘Villains’” 

   “What’s the catch?” I crossed my arms as I looked at the very easy course.

   “You have to make it from here,” he gesture to the start of the track, and still keeping his first arm up he pointed to the end with the other. “To there in 30 seconds or less,”

I noticed he still had his arms both out pointing at each end of the course.

I nudged Natasha in the arm and chuckled.

   “Star Spangled Man With A Wide Arm Span” I stifled my laugh through one hand while pointing at Steve with the other.

   “Y/n your time limit is now 20 seconds,” Steve huffed before hitting the buzzer and Clint began running the course.


The Second time was when we were first out on our mission and some bad guys were fuckin shit up down-town with alien weapons.

A woman was cornered between some cars that had collided and a man with a very strange looking gun that blasted purple plasma rays.

I sank down into the shadow cast by the building I stood behind and traveled to the shadow under the cars behind the the man with the plasma gun.

Sliding out from under the car I kicked my leg out and brought him to the ground, elbowed him in the nose and took his gun.

While he lay squirming in pain on the ground I took the womans hand and began running as fast as I could drag her away from the man. Tossing the gun up to one of Tony’s uninhabited suits.

   “Cap where are you?” I shouted into the coms.

   “Be by your side in a second,” his voice rang in my ear. “Don’t move,”

I stopped running and withing second Steve landed on the hood of one of the bad guys cars right next to me and the woman, holding a couple more of the alien guns.

   “Give me the guns,” I said. “I’ll take them to the suits,”

He tossed the guns to me and I squealed.

   “DON’T THROW A PLASMA RAY AT SOMEONE YOU DOLT!” I shouted.

I secured my grip on the guns and turned to the woman.

   “Hi are you okay?” I asked her. “I’m Shadow what’s your name?”

   “I’m fine,” she said breathless, clearly ecstatic that she’d been saved by the avengers. “My name is Anne,”

   “Ugh YES” I was suddenly so very happy.

The woman looked very confused.

    “Star Spangled Man, Look After Anne,” I shouted as I shoved the woman into Caps arms and dove into another shadow before he could retaliate.


The last was when he was chasing a bad guy and was thrown back through the window of a bakery.

I fly kicked the bad guy into the wall and he slumped to the ground out cold.

   “Cap you okay?” I called as I climbed through the shattered window frame to see a few customers helping him stand. 

The owner of the bakery came around the counter with a pastry dish in her hands and gave it to me. 

I mean we just smashed through the wall of her shop surely it’s not a thank you?

Cap and I exited the bakery and were met by Hawkeye and Black Widow looking at us.

   “Whatcha got there?” Clint eyed the pastry dish in my hands.

It was now that I realised what it was. Immediately I handed it to Steve.

   “The Star Spangled Man With A Fruit Flan,” I put my hands on my hips and grinned proudly so wide my eyes were squinted shut.

My happy streak didn’t last very long because something impacted with the top of my head and I was suddenly very cold. 

And sticky.

I opened my eyes and wiped custard out of my eyes.

   “Did you just dump a perfectly good fruit flan on my head?” I turned and growled at Steve.

   “Dude we could’ve eaten that,” Clint whined.

Steve just smiled with pride that could have mirrored my own.


For the next week or so there was no joke I could have used at the right time so I just had to wait for the right opportunity.

One finally came along.

Cap and Black Widow were sent on a small mission and I was bored so I followed them in the shadows. 

During a scuffle between Cap and one of the targets, Cap was thrown from a 2 story roof and smashed into the roof of a parked (and thankfully empty) minivan.

I immediately pulled out my phone and snapped an unflattering photo of the scene and sank back into the shadows and portalled home.

I sat waiting for their return in the living room ready to project my photo onto the largest screen in the room. As soon as the walked in I called all the other to join me.

   “Guys, guys,” I was shaking with excitement.

   “oh god what did you do?” Bucky sighed with a laugh as I hopped back and forth from one foot to the other.

   “I snapped a really awesome photo,” I half squealed.

I clicked the button that projected what was on my phone to the tv screen and held my hands out in a presenting manner.

   “Ta-daaa!” I smiled and looked around the room at the confused faces of my team.

   “What exactly am I looking at?” Tony asked.

   “It’s The Star Spangled Man In A Minivan,” I yelled happily.

   “How did you even get that picture?” Steve looked astonished. “Did you follow us?”

   “No that would be creepy,” I giggled before sinking into the shadow in the floor and traveling into the hallway.

   “I don’t think anything will ever be as creepy as seeing a smiling chick sink into the floor,” I heard Clint shiver.


I woke up a few days later to F.R.I.D.A.Y telling my that I’d overslept and breakfast was being made in the kitchen where the others had already gathered.

I shot out of bed and ran out of my room, very annoyed at the well lit rooms and hallways that I could’t shadow travel through.

   “Please be Steve, please be Steve,” I chanted to myself as I sprinted down the hallway and jogged on the spot in the elevator to the recreation floor.

I got a number of odd looks from the team who were all assembled around the breakfast table when I burst into the kitchen very short of breath.

Much to my joy, I was greeted by the beautiful sight of Steve frying bacon and eggs on the electric stove.

I failed to control my laboured breathing and huffed my way to the island bench, awkwardly posing on the edge of the counter with a smug grin.

   “Y/n please don-” Steve looked so done but I cut him off.

   “Star Spangled Man With A Pan,” I wheezed with a proud smile. 

   “Damnit!” Clint beat his fist down on the table, startling most of the team. “I’ve been trying to thinkof one for ages I can’t be;live I missed that,”

   “Get your own joke Katniss,” I giggled, siting on the bar stool and winking at Steve.

   “You’re not getting any bacon,” he grumbled and plated some for everyone but me.

Esteban

by reddit user alackofcoasters

As a teacher, I get to see and hear a lot of horror stories, maybe not the kind that you are used to. Kids being abused by teachers or parents, students who get hooked on hard drugs and lose scholarships, even teenagers getting raped in the classroom. Bad things happen to good kids. It breaks my heart. All in all, it’s all pretty horrific, some of the things they warn you about in school when you’re getting your teaching credential.

Keep reading

An open letter from Mateus’ Goblet Ward 12

And so I’m inspired to write my first, and hopefully only, tumblr post.

It’s come to my attention that certain cranky people are quite suddenly extra cranky about Mateus’ housing situation. That is to say: Mateus, which up until now has had the distinction of being the smallest server replete with open housing plots, suddenly has none left. This is in no small part due to the fact that SE has recently locked Balmung (among other worlds) and marked us as a “preferred server,” causing many from Balmung–which hasn’t even had so much as an apartment open in close to a year, if I understand correctly–to see us as the new promised land of milk and honey and housing. As such, we have officially unofficially been designated a secondary roleplaying server.

Do I feel sorry for Balmung’s housing woes? You know what–no. Not at all. They crammed something like 25,000 people on a server intended to hold about 7,000, assuming the population was appropriately spread throughout the datacenter. Which, okay. That was their choice! But people don’t seem to realize that it was a choice. Either you get to have the bustling community of dozens if not hundreds of characters everywhere you go and the rich market board full of any product you could dream of buying… or you get to have a small server with open spaces while tolerating an atmosphere I’ve heard described as “depressing” or even “skeletal” and a low-supply economy that may force you to be more self-sufficient than you’d prefer. They made their choice, and yet many felt entitled to have their bustling server AND open spaces of their own. SE did a fantastic job of obliging with the addition of apartments, which saw housing woes healed on basically every server but Balmung.

“But random internet person,” you say, “what does any of this have to do with Mateus?”

Many people feel entitled to own a house. They feel that even knowing there are only 2,160 plots (soon to be 2,880) on any given server, they can and should be allowed to go at their own pace and have free access to any content they like, including housing. They want a house of their own, but they don’t want to accept that lots of other people want it badly enough to work harder for it than they did. As such, when all the housing plots evaporate out from under them on account of people who wanted it badly enough, they get upset. And they find other places to direct their irritation–soandso is denying me a home–instead of directing it inward. At the end of the day, that upset person has had literal years to acquire a house of their own. Now that opportunity is lost, and it’s no one’s fault but theirs.

So Mateus is out of houses, and people are complaining because they feel like they lost out forever. That now they’re at the mercy of vicious plotflippers or camping for auto-demos. That this dream that hasn’t mattered to them enough to act on will now never come true.

“But random internet person,” you say, “what does any of this have to do with you?”

Well you see, fellow random internet person, a fair amount of the hate people are feeling is being lobbed toward myself and my friend, because people see something we did as very unfair. They don’t have the courage to speak to us directly about this, of course, but they talk a lot of crap behind our backs, and we’re not stupid and find out about it.

A little about me first, so you might perhaps come to understand why I care so much.

I’ve played FFXIV a long while. I had a legacy character from 1.0, but I restarted on Gilgamesh on zero-hour of 2.0 beta phase 4, in which any character you created was going to be carried over to the real game. I watched as it grew to immense proportions. You see, it had been designated the official BlueGartr and Reddit and, somehow, generally raiding server. Gilgamesh was where you went when you wanted to get shit done. I didn’t pick Gilgamesh for that reason. My husband was friends with some people who wanted to be there.

So it was crowded, and I wished it wasn’t. I didn’t really have a basis for comparison, though, having only really played on Gilgamesh in 2.0+.

I obtained a house in Gilgamesh when the subdivisions were first added, which was not long after they were first-first opened up from being FC-only to allowing for personal homes as well. My house was in the Goblet–ward 8 plot 54. Despite there being plenty of homes available to choose from, I chose the last ward’s subdivision quite on purpose, looking to carve out my own little sanctuary of peace and quiet. Well, a noisy FC moved in next door that liked to trample all over my fence and roof, so… so much for that. Still, I loved that house and put a lot of effort into the decor, which was tons of fun. I like to think I did a great job, but everyone thinks that, I guess.

So fast forward a bit–we’re in Heavensward now. I started a project that called for leveling an alt with the same name and appearance of my main. I picked Behemoth. It was still a big…ish? server, but it was nowhere near the size of Gilgamesh, and I finally felt like… I had been holding my breath without knowing, and finally I could breathe. So when a third alt was required for my silly project, I actively sought out the smallest, quietest server I could and transferred/fantasia’d my old legacy character there.

That server was Mateus, and to me, Mateus was perfect. Mateus felt like home. Random encounters with people were rare but incredibly friendly, and with Mateus’ inflated economy, I soon bought a home of my own with the money I’d made from PotD drops. For my home I chose a literally entirely empty ward. That first night, I watched the Moonfire Faire fireworks for hours from atop my roof, over a sea of empty plots, feeling at peace.

That screenshot is dated August 11, 2016. Less than a year ago. Housing was released to Free Companies on December 14, 2013, and expanded to allow for personal purchases on September 16, 2014. And yet, nearly two years after literally anyone could buy a home of their own, on Mateus, many wards of the Goblet were like this. Even the more in-demand areas of Mist and Lavender Beds had areas that looked like this.

Mateus showed no signs of getting bigger. At all. Homes were bought by whatever newbies were curious to play with them, and yet they were being demolished at roughly the same rate, as people streamed away from this “corpse” of a server toward the promised lands of savage modes and ex primals and real economies. Meanwhile I spent more and more time on Mateus, to the point where my small cluster of Gilgamesh friends were concerned that I was on the brink of leaving. Because to me, Mateus was perfect. Mateus felt like home.

Around this time, I got to chatting with a lovely person from Leviathan with whom I share some unique/niche interests. In September, we started alts on Mateus together, and we bought them houses together in the Goblet. Ward 12, plots 14 and 20, across the Brimming Heart from each other. We made a free company for ourselves, to share materials and gil, and when we leveled that up and saved up enough money, we bought ourselves the medium in the same area, plot 19.

We decided we really loved playing together–and that we really loved playing together on Mateus–so having no real attachments to Gilgamesh or Leviathan, we transferred our mains. And we bought them houses, too, once we were able to, seeing as how our savings had been wiped out by the transfer limits. But we worked together to earn the money, as we had the previous three homes, and we bought them. And we decorated all five houses together. Coming up with ideas, making lists, splitting up the work, placing things and playing with them until we got just the desired effect. It was the most fun we’d ever had playing this game. Our own tiny paradise, carved out just the way we liked it.

We finished those first alts to 60, and we started another pair. Because you see, our alts have a specific theme to them–a set of characters from this game, of which there are 15–and we wanted to have them all. It didn’t start out being about houses. We just loved making and leveling alts together. So I’d have 7 and my extra character for my side project, and she’d have 8. We had always planned it that way. And, well, we were only two houses away from owning all seven around the brimming heart, so we completed our collection when the second pair of alts hit 50.

Or so we thought.

We did some really amazing things with houses six and seven. Made rooms and scenarios unlike anything we had ever seen. Things we thought would be impossible with the items available in XIV. We had found our true love in this game, and it was decorating. We began to talk about what this or that character’s house would be like. When we wanted a break from leveling, we would pick a ward or five and ride around and look at every single house there. I’m serious, if you owned a house on Mateus at that time, we visited it. All of you.

The few other homes in our ward kept auto-demolishing. The mansion in 30 went first. We worked and saved and worked and saved, and it devalued and devalued for weeks, because there was no demand for it at all. We both had alts at 60 on another server–my aforementioned Behemoth alt, and hers elsewhere. We moved them both to Mateus and bought the mansion just before Christmas.

The next house to disappear was 27. That had been a cute little female elezen who always ran around in WHM AF, who was only like level 53ish… but one day their theretofore pristine chocobo stable stopped being cleaned, and a little over a month later their unsightly orange and blue default-colored house had evaporated. We only had three not-us neighbors left, and many of the other wards were in the same boat. We decided on an ambitious project given how disconnected our new mansion was to the Brimming Heart, where the rest of our homes were: we would claim the entire eastern half of the ward with our 16 characters, once they were all at least 50.

I mean, hell, clearly no one else wanted them. People were leaving, not moving in.

So we leveled and bought and decorated, leveled and bought and decorated. These homes were not just being claimed and left unused. They were, and still are, loved. We always go into a house with an idea. A theme. An intent. Furnishings are chosen with care. There are meanings in everything that no one will ever know but us. Symbolism. Look, we’re nerds, okay? The weirder it looks, the more symbolic its intent. Probably. These characters we’re paying homage to, we love them.

The next house to evaporate–and this was a huge surprise to us–was the mansion at 13. We knew for a fact the owner of 13 was still actively playing. He simply didn’t want the house anymore and let it go. He never did anything with it, so perhaps he just didn’t enjoy decorating as content. We knew exactly which character to put in it–someone who deserved a mansion but only had a cottage. Now that we had the chance….

So we took someone out of the Brimming Heart and moved him up there instead. And we were left with a hole where once there had been a sea of 17 beautiful matching black stone homes.

We wanted to fill the holes, and we still had so many ideas, and there were still at least a thousand empty houses on Mateus. That’s when started to make extra free companies and move certain characters around to new plots in order to expand on their ideas.

Today, there are no more plots left on Mateus.

But long before that happened, there were no plots left in Ward 12. We own 28 houses – 16 personal, 12 companies. Two of these thirty homes in the ward are not ours. We owned the whole ward even when this was posted, drawing sudden attention to the fact that this so-called corpse of a server had some meat left on its bones – food for carrion birds, should someone desire a feast.

And then SE closed Balmung and Gilgamesh, and Mateus was invaded. And suddenly, people care about Mateus housing for the first time in nearly three years. Suddenly, people think we are *the* worst people. Because how dare we enjoy the game in the manner we chose to enjoy it.

How dare we?

How dare you.

You, who finally deign to set foot in my home. You, who hated Mateus for all the same reasons I felt it was perfect. You, who would take away the last year of memories I’ve made with one of the best friends I’ve ever known. You, who don’t care about the fact that we have cultivated something unique, interesting, and amazing, because you feel it denies you the chance to throw up a hideous paissa wall and plop a chocobo stable and a garden plot in front of an otherwise unused black hole with Dragonsong screeching away in the background. You, with your head so buried in your cliques that you thought we came from Balmung within the last month and achieved all this thanks to SE’s allowance of free infinite gil transfers, not realizing we wanted to be here, that we love it here, that we worked our asses off for all this from nothing but the million gil each we were allowed to bring with us from our mains.

How dare you.

If you would look at something other than the placards in your impotent rage that the same FC tag is on a few of them, you just might notice you’re standing in one of the best goddamn wards in the entire game. But more than that, you might just realize you’re walking through the last year of our lives. You’re seeing what we love, our passion, our reverence, our teamwork, our achievement.

And you demand we just give it all up. Because suddenly, these houses that have been here for years waiting to be loved… suddenly, now, you want one.

No.

Anyway, you’re welcome to come look. We aren’t quite done. We have a few closed homes, even (to our shame) a couple of yards that still need done, and some homes that want for some added detail since the doubling of furniture slots. It’s all on hold for just a short while thanks to Stormblood. But we have ideas, plans… and we’ll be right back to our housing obsession when we’re done leveling our first few things to 70.

Please look forward to it. I know I am.

Final notes:

1- I don’t claim to speak for my friend. For all I know, she’ll be horrified I’ve posted this. If you take issue with anything I’ve said, take it up with me. My main is Seraph Altima.

2- We are not affiliated with any similarly named individuals on any other server. If you think you can send a tell to someone on Balmung and be speaking to me (or someone who can speak sense into me), especially after I’ve gushed about how much I love Mateus, you are an idiot.

3- As our houses are our passion, we are both happy to answer any questions you may have about our ward. Just talk to us.

4- While we do not roleplay ourselves, you are welcome to explore our ward and use it for any roleplay event or storyline you like. You have open and ongoing permission. If you take notice of the theme of our ward, you can see it’s a perfect place to go if you’d like to write something about your OC being tricked, lured, or tempted by something otherworldly.

5- I’m well aware I’m not going to change any minds with this. People will say “but we couldn’t save in time” or “but my friend just started” or “but if you love decor so much, why not give others a chance to love it, too.” But we built this together, and I’m not giving it up, and you’re not changing my mind, either. I just want my perspective out there, because right now we’re just being demonized. Every story has two sides.

6- If you really want someone to demonize, the people in Goblet 12sub – all those homes owned by FCless characters, whose homes are closed or, in some cases, entirely unbuilt – actually did what you thought we did. But you know what? Whatever. They still put the work in before those without homes.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm a curious anon who wants to be not ignorant on asexuality cause i gotta be a good ally, so i was wondering if you could explain it? sometimes i get confused like, they say asexual people also have sex but i thought that would negate asexuality? also how do you know you're asexual, how do you know the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i just wanna be Educated™

hey there, sunshine!!! OK, let me explain EVERYTHING. 

hmmm.

so, asexuality is when a person does not feel sexual attraction to other people. sexual attraction is - this is kind of hard for me, as I’m ace myself, to explain it without it sounding a bit weird, maybe?! - but it’s the feeling of looking at someone and being turned on by them, I guess? the feeling of looking at them and wanting to have sex with them, and feeling aroused by the idea of having sex with them. this is something that asexual people do not feel.

this is separate from feelings of romantic attraction, which is not to do with sex and all to do with intimacy of heart - and how you express that romantic intimacy varies from person to person. for a lot of people, it involves stuff like kissing and holding hands and going on dates and flowers and stuff. pretty much, if it’s your heart going !!!!!! then it’s romantic, and if it’s your down-there lair going !!!!!!!!, then that’s sexual.

asexuality, like many sexualities, is not an absolute: it’s a spectrum! the spectrum of asexuality includes - but is not limited to - demisexuality (being attracted to someone only after a strong emotional bond has been formed with them), grey-asexuality (feeling sexual attraction to other people very rarely, or very weakly, or a combination of both), and asexuality itself, which is simply never feeling sexual attraction.

as for the question about sex negating asexuality, there are many reasons an asexual person might have sex:

  • to experience physical intimacy with someone they care about a lot, even if they are not sexually attracted to them
  • because they know their partner enjoys it, and they get enjoyment out of pleasing their partner
  • because not feeling sexual attraction doesn’t mean not feeling sexual arousal. you can be asexual but still want to have sex, it’s just that you’re not able to find someone you particularly want to have sex with. I’ve seen an analogy that goes like this: you know that feeling where you’re hungry, and you open the cupboard, and everything you see you’re like… nah… but you’re still hungry? yeah, that. eventually you might end up eating something that you don’t feel especially drawn to, just because you’re hungry.
  • because sex can be really fun! even if you’re not attracted to your partner, sex can be enjoyable (and I am speaking from experience here)
  • to have kids! some asexual people want to raise a family.
  • on a less positive note, society kind of demands sex of people. it’s seen as a young person’s rite of passage, as the cementing of romantic feelings, as a given in any long-term relationship. it’s something that friends bond over, their sex stories; it’s part of drinking games, it’s often part of TV and books and movies, it’s a whole world that demands to be understood or else you risk feeling like - and being treated like - a child. asexual people may feel pressured to have sex, even when not wanting to, just to fit in. this is a not-cool reason.

that is absolutely not an exhaustive list but hopefully it gives you some idea of some reasons why ace people might have sex! still very much asexual before, during, and after.

lastly, you ask how people know they’re asexual… this one is kind of hard to answer. personally, I figured it out pretty late. I’d always assumed that everyone was kind of deciding to be attracted to people, like I was, and it was only after some revealing conversations with friends that I realised - no, most people don’t have to try to force attraction with decisions, it just happens naturally. 

often, the Realisation Process begins with doing a little bit of reading and recognising yourself in the things you’re learning! if you want to know more, I seriously recommend AVEN - click here! - a website which has a crap ton of info!! thank you for your question, I appreciate you wanting to learn and be a good ally - it makes all the difference to have educated, accepting allies out there in the big wide world. you’re wonderful, and hope I helped! <3

Centuries in the Making: Part 3

Prompt: Description: An average human, an Original Vampire, and a bond so strong no magic can break it. New Orleans is in for a hell of a ride.

Part 1, Part 2



“Human?”

   “Yes, human.”

   “And you’re quite sure she’s not a witch?”

   “Positive.”

   There’s a chuckle, “Well mother nature certainly can be a bitch, can’t she? How do you plan on protecting the poor thing? Are you going to change her?”

   “That is neither here nor there at the moment. All we need right now is a cloaking spell to hide the magic.”

   “There is no hiding the magic.”

   “Why not?” The question pops out of your mouth before you can stop it. Then again, maybe some part of you didn’t want to stop it. You’d been gone all of thirty minutes, only to shower and change, and had come back to another discussion about your life. You deserved to be a part of it.

   When you step from your hiding place, you’re greeted with a scowl from Klaus, “Could you please tell me where a grown woman got such a penchant for snooping?”

   You stare at him, “A desire to know what exactly will be happening to my life.”

   There’s a chuckle, “You got a sassy one, Elijah.”

   Your soulmate’s lips twitch, “Apparently. Y/N this is my younger brother, Kol. He’s a witch.”

   You give the new addition a small smile, and he grins at you, “What do you know about the soulmark’s origin?”

   You slide your hands into the pockets of your pants, “Not much. The general mythology.”

   He nods, “Forget it all. It’s crap. The marks were invented by witches. Witches older than even our mother.”

   You straighten a bit, “Older than the first witch?”

   He stares at you for a moment, “You know our story?”

   “Bits and pieces. I was Rebekah’s roommate for eight months. Apparently, she needed to vent.”

   Kol smirks, “After a thousand years with Nik, I can’t really blame her. What about you, love? What’s your story?”

   “A story for another time.”

   He grins at you, “All right, answer me this, where is sister dearest?”

   You slide your hands out of your pockets to cross them against your chest. You couldn’t tell him even if you wanted to. The compulsion was still in effect.

   “Alright, fine, don’t tell me. Not as though I’m surprised.” You can hear the anger and frustration in his voice.

   And from the looks of things Klaus didn’t care, “Yes, yes. The poor neglected brother. On with the story.”

   Kol’s scowl spoke legions, “And why should I? You don’t trust me with your secrets, why should you trust my information?”

   There was a moment of silence before Elijah spoke, his voice seemingly calm, “Because, little brother, information is power. Power that I can use to protect the other half of my soul, and if you deny me that power, I will snap your neck.”

   You find yourself walking towards him, as though something is pulling you forward. You take his hand in yours, and lean ever so slightly against him. For just a second, you see a hint of surprise, before he laces his fingers with yours, and leans ever so slightly into you. He positions himself so that he’s standing slightly in front of you.

   Your eyes flicker back to Kol, “Well, shit.” he runs a hand through his hair before taking a seat at the table. “The soulmark bond is old. Older than us, and nearly as old as time. It’s old magic, good magic, created from a willing sacrifice. Supposedly, every person is born with another half. This other half is supposed to your equal or your perfect match. It allows for a bond to be put in place. That bond, in the case of witches, amplified their power.

   They could then use that power to protect their covens and their families. The more pairs they had, the better off they would be. Of course, these pairs were limited. There was no true way to tell who your soulmate was until you were joined.

   So they had an idea. What if you could tell who your soulmate was with the first words you ever spoke to them? A pair of soulmates in a coven decided to create runes that showed compatibility, that would appear on a person’s sixteenth birthday. The first words their soulmate would ever say to them. The magic would surround them, alert them to the fact. Once the connection was made, there would be a pull, and after they joined, there would be a bond.

   So, a pair of soulmates, a pair who had completed the bond and strengthened it over years, decided to make a willing sacrifice. They performed a ritual, and surrendered their lives. And thus, the spell was born.

   At first, the marks were just runes, but as time evolved, and writing systems evolved as well, the magic evolved with it. Eventually, the runes began to become the first words that were spoken. And eventually, they began to be written in the soulmate’s hand. Originally, the spell was only meant for witches, but instead it was cast over all humanity. After all, not all of the matches were going to be two witches.

   That desire to be with each other, to be near each other, it’s all a part of the spell. You want to be close to each other, the magic is calling for you to complete the bond.”

   You’re surprised at how steady your voice is when you ask, “What does it mean to complete the bond?”

   Kol’s grin is devilish, “Sex, love. Joining of two bodies and souls and all that jazz. It forms the bond.”

   “And what is the bond itself?” Elijah’s voice is steady, as his thumb rubs back and forth against the top of your hand.

   Kol shrugs, “It’s different for each pair. It’s what the pair needs.”

   “And there’s no way to hide it? To protect her?”

   Kol shakes his head, “It’s powerful magic Elijah. Light magic. A part of nature. To lose one’s soulmate is to lose a part of themself. It’s something to be celebrated Elijah. It’s so strong that even vampires aren’t cut off from it. That being said, like everything else, I imagine it’s amplified for you. That would explain the intense protective streak.”

   “Well that’s just lovely,” Klaus’s voice is filled with sarcasm, “A great giant magic beacon, pointing straight at our home.”

   You’re surprised when Kol snaps back, “The bond is sacred, Nik. A part of nature itself. No self-respecting witch would mess with the bond.”

   Klaus’ smile is menacing, “Because we’re surrounded by self-respecting witches.”

   You watch as Kol slowly stands up, never breaking eye contact with Klaus. Elijah simply squeezes your hand once before saying, “That is enough, children.”

   Kol simply sighs, “Well, I’ve done all I can. I’ll just see myself out.” You watch him walk towards the door, and right before he’s about to leave, he pauses. He turns to you and Elijah and says, “The bond will need to be completed. The magic surrounding you two is too strong for either to walk away.” His attention turns to Elijah, “Looks like the thousand years were worth the wait.” And without another word, you watch him leave.

So the other day I spat out a Twitter thread where I headcanoned about Jack as a biker. I guess I should share it over here too.  Enjoy.

Jack liked old cars as a kid, but he liked motorcycles better. Loved the freedom, the sense of not being sheltered. Having no buffer between him and the world.

Bikes can be dangerous even when you’re a safe driver. People are stupid on the road, and they don’t watch out for bikers. And Jack loved that too. The risk and the self-reliance, having his fate in his own hands.

But then he wasn’t always a safe driver. A bike can be a real exciting and fun way to court death, and on his bad days he kinda did.  Rode like he was racing his own shadow. Wove through heavy traffic on the freeways and took the curvy back roads like a roller coaster.  Looking back he feels stupid about it. He’s always ready with advice for young bikers on how to be sane and not take people down with you.  But back then, sometimes it was his only outlet for the feeling of being trapped.

He likes all kinds of bikes, and he does have a soft spot for the speed and responsiveness of sport models, but his faves are the classics.  The weight, the lines, the feeling of sturdy rebuildable invincibility. Sexy.  He’s always on the lookout for a classic frame that’s still in good shape because when he can’t ride, he restores.

Torbjorn lets him use one of his less ridiculous workshops, and even joins Jack sometimes.  It’s kind of a bonding exercise with them.  Sometimes they’ll restore the things back to their original build, and sometimes they get…creative.  Between the two of them, they do enough rebuilding that there’s no way Jack can keep them all.  It becomes a charity thing.  They auction them off for fundraisers. Motorcycle wonks can be real snobs, and custom bikes rebuilt by Overwatch heroes are quite a collector’s item.

Jack organizes charity rides too sometimes, even if he usually can’t participate.  He seldom has the time, and anyway having a high-profile celebrity along just complicates things a lot of the time.

So mostly he keeps the biker thing low key, in Overwatch. He has other outlets for the crazy risk-taking these days.

Holy crap though, the way he rides.

So the thing about a bike is you drive it with your body.  A man with strength & reflexes beyond human can take a bike beyond human limits.  A couple of the other SEP subjects liked to ride too, and Jack used to go out with them.  But few others are both willing or able to keep up with him. Although Reinhardt probably has been known to. The man does work with a rocket strapped to his back.

(And then there’s the part where he has a secret fantasy of Gabe fucking him over the back of a bike.  But that’s for another time.)

Like Baby Bird

inspired by this text post because tater would.

I pulled this out of the bottom of my “unfinished” folder and finished it because I promised you guys some writing and I’m gonna deliver even if it’s crap.

(warning: it’s crap.)

edit: (ao3 link)

There’s no one else in the NHL whom Tater would rather piss off than Kent Parson. Feints and unnecessary checks and stealing Kent’s puck while saying, “You mind I’m borrow?” like he’s just swung by Kent’s place for a cup of sugar. Twice he’s gotten up in Kent’s business all through a tight game, asking “You want fight? Come on, Parson, little fight, know you want, been asshole all game, come on,” and waited until Kent has snapped, “Yeah, fine,” and tossed down his gloves, only to have Tater laugh and say, “Just kidding.” And then skate away.

Tater also snow showers Parson every chance he gets. He gets the fight he was asking for twice, but mostly he gets insults yelled at him as he ducks away.

Thirdy calls it hilarious. Marty calls it “kinda dangerous, you know he’s gonna kill you one day, right?” 

Snowy calls it “the most disgusting display of courtship I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

Keep reading

Masquerade III: The Rules of the Game -- Part 1 (Jungkook x Reader x another BTS member)

One must know the rules of the game, in order to come and play.

!! If you haven’t, please read the first two sagas in this series: MASQUERADE  & Masquerade II !! [There will be spoilers if you read this story first.]

Summary: With Club Masquerade’s original hosts “graduating” one at a time, it’s up to the newcomers to pick up the slack and keep the customers happy. And who better to take the reins than the notorious Red Mask’s prodigy, Jeon Jungkook. But things become a bit difficult when you come into the picture, with your desire to do research on the rules of love and dating through your experience with your host. Will Jungkook be able to satisfy your curiosities… or will someone else?

Jungkook x Reader x BTS member [Read on to find out who >:P] (ft. Jimin & Hoseok)
CEO au, Host au, Cop!Kook au 
Fluff & Smut 

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 (Finale)

A/N: Hey everyone ~ it’s baccckkk! :) That’s all haha blessing your weekend with part 1! Enjoy!

Originally posted by jungkookfortunekookies

           "Crap.“ You exhaled as you pulled over to the side of the road, seeing the blaring lights of red and blue following you. Groaning, you parked your car and leaned your head back into your seat. No longer than a few seconds later, a police officer knocked on your window. Clearing your throat to compose yourself, you rolled your driver’s side window down.

           "Miss. You were going over the speed limit.” The officer stated, pulling out his notepad and hovering his pen over the ticket he was about to give you.

           "It’s hardly ‘over’ the speed limit if it’s 5 over.“ You argued.

           His eyes shot up to you, possibly surprised by your attitude. "You know, normally, this is when women beg me to let them go, not argue with my initial statement.”

           "Well, Officer…“ You leaned over to read his badge closely. ”…Jeon. I don’t think I need to beg if the reason you’re stopping me wasn’t exactly a direct violation in the first place.“

           "Give me your license.” he huffed and you grabbed your wallet to do so. “Alright, Ms. Y/N. Since this seems to be your first transgression, I’ll give you a chance to appeal to me. I’m in a good mood today.”

           You gave him a face of disbelief as he smugly smirked at you.

           "Do you normally harass women while you’re in uniform?“

           His eyes widened and he scoffed. "You know most people would be thankful I’m being lenient. 5 over or more– it’s still over the speed limit on this road. Do you want a ticket or not?”

           "Of course I don’t want a ticket. But what exactly would 'appealing’ to you entail? I have no idea what you find appealing, considering we’re strangers.“ You reasoned nonchalantly.

           That seemed to stump him because he was silent for a few seconds.

           "I don’t know! Be cute or something? Compliment me? That’s what other women do. You could even start crying for all I care.” he listed as he scratched his neck sheepishly.

           Your expression turned into one of disapproval. “And that works?”

           "Well…yeah…“

           "Um okay…” You prepared yourself seriously by taking a deep breath, and then turned to flash him your brightest smile. This was torture for you.

           It was his turn to give you a look of disapproval.

           "No…not appealing.“

           You huffed at his rejection then hurriedly poked your cheeks and batted your lashes, mimicking the way women on TV acted cute. The Officer chuckled and shook his head, clearly more amused than appealed.

           "Sorry. Can’t help you. You have no appeal whatsoever.” he scribbled into his notepad and ripped the ticket. “It won’t add points if you pay the fine.”

           "Are you serious?“ You glared.

           "Oh, quite serious.” he laughed. “Maybe you should try finding other ways to appeal to men.”

           "I have a lot of appeal!“ You argued.

           He snorted. "Sure you do.”

           "You’re terribly rude for an officer of the law.“

           "And you’re terribly unapologetic for someone who’s broken the law.” he chucked the paper inside your car carelessly as he leaned through your window, his face close to yours arrogantly.

           You two stared at each other intently; you, annoyed while his eyes had a glint of mischief and intrigue in them. He was clearly enjoying having the upper hand in this battle of wits.

           Suddenly, a car zoomed by the two of you and you exhaled, pointing at it.

           "That guy was like TWENTY over the speed limit, and you’re not chasing him? Seriously??“

           "I’m currently busy at the moment.” The Officer shrugged, and after a quick glance around your car, he scrunched his face. “You should also clean up your car. Are you trying to run a garbage truck?”

           You chuckled in disbelief. “I’m pretty sure you’re breaking the law of proper etiquette right now, Officer Jeon.”

           "Etiquette goes both ways, Miss Y/N.“ The Officer knocked on your car playfully and began walking away. "Have a wonderful day ~”

           You groaned, irritated.


           "Hey Jungkook! You’re back a little late from your patrol.“

           Jungkook grinned as one of his fellow cops handed him a bottle of water. "I had a speeding incident down the road.”

           "Ooo was it a woman? Did you let them go again?“

           "No!” he huffed. “I actually gave her a ticket this time!”

           "Ohhh~ wow, Jungkook, you’re growing up!“ his fellow officers cooed as they ruffled his hair. "You couldn’t even look at women on your first patrol, and then you let them go out of pure terror and panic if they so much as touched your arm.”

           Jungkook blushed and swatted their arms away from babying him. “I wasn’t in panic!”

           "Oh please, Kook, your eyes were as wide as saucers!“ one of the guys pulled him into a headlock. "And if they started crying, you flailed your arms wildly and called in for back up.”

           Everyone roared with laughter. Jungkook easily pried himself out of the headlock and frowned.

           "That was back then!“

           "Good work, Jungkook. You’re on your way.” One of the senior officers, who just so happened to be female, smiled warmly at him. He stiffened and nodded until she disappeared from the premises.

           His fellow officers snorted at his obviously panicked reaction. He turned and glared at them, but they scrambled to return to their computers, appearing to look busy. None of them wanted to fall victim to Jungkook’s wrath. As much as they hated to admit it, even though he was the youngest officer, he was the most fit, capable, and handsome of them all, passing the physical exam with unprecedented ease.

           "Was the girl you gave a ticket cute?“ One of his closest friends turned and changed the subject.

           Jungkook hummed as he sat down. "Mmm…”

           He chuckled, envisioning how you had tried to act cute before.

           "She wasn’t appealing at all.“  


           "It’s unlike you to be late, Y/N.” Jimin smiled as you finally made it to your cubicle.

           "I’m sorry Mr. Park. I got pulled over by a cop.“ You admitted and he blinked curiously.

           "Why?”

           "He claimed I was speeding when I wasn’t, and I ended up getting a ticket because I didn’t beg for forgiveness.“ You huffed.

           "Oh Y/N.” Jimin patted your head sympathetically. “You need to use your charms, even if they were in the wrong.”

           "I tried but…“ You sulked.

           "But?” Jimin leaned against your desk.

           "He said I had no appeal whatsoever.“ You stated sourly.

           Jimin burst into laughter, causing the other workers to look over at you two.

           "Sorry! Just intern stuff!” he bellowed, easing the other people’s curiosities. “Seriously. You crack me up, Y/N. I’m glad I agreed to having you intern here.”

           Hoseok coughed, appearing beside Jimin. “I believe I was the one that took her under my wing because someone decided they wanted to run away to Daegu for who knows how long and abandoned me!”

           "You won’t leave that alone, Hoseok!“ Jimin snapped.

           You smiled shyly as your bosses bickered in front of you. You were already used to it by now.  

           "Oh Mr. Jung. I had a few questions about the paperwork you had me fill out yesterday.” You knew how to stop their childish banter easily.

           Hoseok brightened immediately since you were seeking his counsel, while Jimin walked away coolly because he didn’t want to be bothered by work-related questions so early in the morning. You giggled. They were easy to figure out.

           You had been working as the company’s intern for a few months already. At first, you were under Mr. Jung since Mr. Park had temporarily been needed at a different branch, but as soon as he returned, they fought over who would be mentoring you. In the end, they settled on you shadowing Mr. Jung in the morning and Mr. Park in the afternoon. And you had no qualms about the dual mentorship. You thoroughly enjoyed learning– the process, the actual gaining of new skills and information, the effective application – so you were grateful that you had two fantastic role models to teach you.

           A lot of your university classmates wanted to strangle you for getting so lucky with your internship. Not only was the company well-known, but so were the CEOs you were under.

           "Mr. Jung.“ You called as he was scribbling corrections on your paperwork.

           "Hm?”

           "Am I unappealing?“ You asked bluntly.

           His eyes widened. "Wh-what?”

           "Someone told me I had no appeal this morning. Do you think I’m lacking in appeal?“

           Hoseok coughed and peeked outside of your cubicle, making sure no one was listening in. He smiled warmly and put his pen down.

           "Y/N. Everyone has different types of appeal. It’s good to learn about other things, which you’re really good at, but it’s better if you learn about yourself first.”

           "Learn about myself?“

           "Yeah, like hmm…hold on.” Hoseok stood up. “Mr. Park, I have a question about your charm.”

           Jimin jumped out of his office with a wide grin. “My charm? Which charm? I have plenty.”

           Hoseok gave you a knowing expression and you chuckled. Jimin skipped towards you two.

           "It’s important to know your strengths and weaknesses, Y/N. As both a business worker and as a person. You should use your strengths as your appeal and work to improve or compensate your weaknesses.“ Hoseok tapped on the paperwork in front of you. "Kind of like how we revise these papers. We keep what’s convincing and edit what’s not. Although you should be careful about being overly appealing.”

           He shot a look at Jimin, who smirked.

           "You have a problem with my overflowing appeal, Mr. Jung?“ Jimin cocked up an eyebrow.

           "It’s good to know you have it, but don’t flaunt it too much.” Hoseok commented to you.

           "But you didn’t answer my question.“ You emphasized.

           "What question?” Jimin questioned.

           "She asked if she was appealing.“ Hoseok blushed as he lay a hand on Jimin’s shoulder. "This is your forte so I’ll leave it to you. I don’t feel comfortable discussing this with my young intern.”

           Jimin shook his head. “Oh Hoseok, so naive. Don’t worry Y/N. You’re definitely appealing! But what Mr. Jung is trying to say is that you have to believe in your appeal before you can go appealing people.”

           "Interesting.“ You hummed.

           "Think of it like your resume for people.” Jimin pointed.

           "Resume for people?“ You repeated, still puzzled.

           "Yeah, you have to know why people like you and play that as your strength. Like me, I know I’m incredibly handsome and friendly, and that’s why people like me. If ever, let’s say, someone accuses me of doing something wrong, I know I could use my looks and sweet words to get out of trouble.”  

           "So… manipulate people?“

           Hoseok snorted and Jimin scratched the back of his head.

           "I guess in blunt terms, yes. But it’s kind of a survival skill.” he chimed. “You need it to survive in the real world.”

           "Survival skill…“ You mumbled, thinking deeply.

           "Y/N, don’t–” Hoseok was about to protest, but Jimin’s hand covered his mouth.

           "I see. It’s quite important for me to learn my own appeal.“ You stated determinedly. "As a matter of survival.”

           "Yes, yes, exactly.“ Jimin nodded fervently.

           "You’re such a jackass.” Hoseok hissed.

           "It’s for her own good.“ Jimin nudged.

           You beamed happily. "Thank you, Mr. Park, Mr. Jung!”

           The two blushed and chuckled, patting your head encouragingly.

           "You two are so weak for the intern.“ Silver appeared beside them with her arms crossed.

           Hoseok flinched and removed his hand from your head, settling beside his girlfriend. On the other hand, Jimin latched onto you and embraced you tightly from behind.

           "It’s cause she’s so cute and clueless about the evils of this world.” he giggled as he nuzzled his face next to yours while you sat there stoically, mulling over his statement instead of his actions.

           Silver rolled up the papers she had on hand and started whacking Jimin with it in between her words.

           "Get-off-her-that-is-in-a-ppro-priate!“

           Jimin cackled and let go of you. "You’re no fun, Silver. She doesn’t mind, right?”

           You shook your head. “I don’t feel anything when it happens so I don’t mind.”

           Hoseok burst into laughter while Jimin clutched his chest, feigning pain at your words.

           Silver smiled at you, amused. “There are only a few women who could say that and honestly mean it, Y/N. You amaze me.”

           "Thank you.“ You bowed gratefully. "Mr. Park told me you had fallen for his charms before too, so I consider this an honorable compliment.”

           Silver lunged at Jimin, but he was quick to evade and hurriedly locked himself inside the safety of his office.

           "PARK JIMIN!“

           "Now, now.” Hoseok grabbed his girlfriend’s arm and whispered. “We’re at work remember? Don’t let him get you riled up like that. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

           Silver huffed and relaxed at his true statement.

           You watched the two interact curiously. Although they tried to keep it relatively low key at work, everybody knew they were in a relationship. You found them to be a very adorable pair, while Mr. Park and his girlfriend acted more like nagging, close friends whenever you saw them together. But you guessed that every relationship worked differently because regardless of how they treated each other, they all seemed very happy and in love.

           Love, huh?

           You shook your head and turned your attention back to your paperwork, pushing your thoughts to the side for now.  


           Needless to say, you took a different route to work the next day, still feeling a bit sour about the rude cop you had run into. You pushed the speaker button on your car as you spotted Mr. Park’s name light up on your dashboard.

           "Good morning, Mr. Park.“ You greeted.

           "Hey Y/N! Are you on your way to work right now?”

           "Yes.“

           "Have you passed the cafe yet by any chance?”

           "Not yet. Are you running late again today, Mr. Park?“

           Jimin chuckled guiltily. "I might have snoozed my alarms a few times.”

           "I shall pick up your usuals.“ You stated knowingly.

           "You’re the best.”

           "But I don’t think your girlfriend will be very pleased.“

           "Eh, it’s her fault for not sleeping over. I don’t even know why she doesn’t just move in yet.” he grumbled.

           "Mr. Park, please leave your personal matters at home.“

           Jimin laughed. "Get something for yourself too, Y/N. I’ll pay you back later.”

           "Will do.“ You hummed as you signaled to turn into the cafe. "I’m turning into the shop now.”

           "Good. I’ll see you in a bit–ow!“

           You heard clattering on the other side of the line and your lips curled up, slightly amused. You could tell he was rushing around his apartment frantically so he wouldn’t get scolded by Mr. Jung and Silver for being tardy again.

           "See you soon, Mr. Park.”

           You hung up and expertly parked.

           Grabbing your purse, you headed inside the cafe where Mr. Park’s girlfriend worked. There was decent line there today and you checked your watch to see if you had time to wait. But then again, it was Mr. Park’s fault if you were. You technically started work by doing what he had asked you to do.

           Furrowing your brow, you peeked over a few customers’ shoulders to see what the hold-up was. The line never usually moved this slowly, but you couldn’t see who was in the front and taking their time. With a sigh, you settled on not getting irritated about it because there was nothing you could do. You whipped your phone out and began scrolling through your e-mails and messages until it was your turn.

           "Y/N!“ Mr. Park’s girlfriend beamed, welcoming you.

           "Good morning.” You bowed. “I’ll take the usual, if you could please.”

           "Whoa, someone has a usual?“ A familiar voice bellowed beside you and once you turned to see who it belonged to, your expression darkened.

           "Oh?” The cop that had given you a ticket was leaning against the counter, just as surprised as you when you locked eyes. “It’s you!”

           You didn’t bother greeting him and handed Mr. Park’s girlfriend your card to pay. “Can I please get a hot chocolate with that?”

           "Sure thing.“ she smiled as she punched it into the register. "Do you know each other?”

           "No.“ You replied a little too quickly.

           "Yes.” Officer Jeon answered. “Unappealing girl, right?”

           You took a deep exasperated breath and gave him a slight bow of respect, then turned your attention back to signing your receipt.

           "It’ll be out in a bit.“ Mr. Park’s girlfriend glanced at the two of you, clearly amused. "It’s a bit slow because he had to buy all of his unit’s coffee orders.”

           "I see.“ You replied. This was the second time Officer Jeon had been the root of your tardiness. You walked to the other side of the counter, away from where he was, to wait.

           But he had other plans.

           "Don’t tell me you’re still upset about the ticket.” he chuckled as he settled beside you.

           "I don’t like conversing with strangers.“ You stated, hoping he would stop acting like you two were friends.

           "Jungkook.”

           "Bless you.“

           "No.” he giggled. “That’s my name. Y/N, right?”

           "Slightly creepy how you remember that.“

           "I have good memory.” Jungkook shrugged.

           "And do you always talk to people you’ve arrested or given fines to?“ You inquired.

           "Hmm…” he hummed. “…you’d be the first actually.”

           "And why would that be?“

           "Well, we have a mutual friend.” he pointed at Mr. Park’s girlfriend.

           "Does having a mutual friend mean we have to automatically become friends?“ You turned to him, curiously.

           "Well, no.” he scratched the back of his head. “But I mean, it kind of makes you more comfortable to talk to?”

           "Huh.“ You nodded, intrigued, but said nothing further.

           "Are you getting coffee for your co-workers too?”

           "Yeah. Do you usually get coffee at this time on this day?“

           Jungkook shook his head. "It varies. We usually play rock-paper-scissors to determine who buys. I don’t ever lose. But I’m pretty sure they all cheated to take me down.”

           You raised an eyebrow at him.

           "What?“ he blinked.

           "You really think highly of yourself, huh?”

           He flustered, “No! I just…I don’t like losing.”

           You chuckled. “Makes sense.”

           "What’s that supposed to mean?“ he asked defensively.

           "Nothing.” You shrugged lightly.

           "Want another ticket for instigating an officer?“ he threatened.

           "I’ll take you to court for abuse of power.” You stared at him seriously, and he backed off.

           "I was just joking…“ he mumbled.

           You smiled slightly. "I have a question.”

           "Hm?“

           "Show me how you would appeal to me if our roles were reversed yesterday.”

           "That’s not a question.“

           "A demand then.”

           "I have a right to refuse.“

           "But I thought we were friends.” You smirked. “Friends are supposed to help each other, right?”

           Jungkook grumbled, blushing slightly. “There’s too many people here…”

           "Unappealing.“ You clicked your tongue right away and shook your head, disapprovingly.

           "I am not!” he retorted.

           "The appeal isn’t working for me.“ You looked him up and down blankly.

           "Are you kidding me?” he scoffed.

           "I’m quite serious.“ You shrugged.

           Jungkook opened his mouth, probably to spout out another argument, but he was interrupted.

           "Officer Jeon, your order’s up!”

           He glanced at you and you smirked triumphantly. You had won this time. With a groan, he grabbed his orders from the counter. You didn’t miss the way the other customers were clearly eye-ing him like glazed meat, but your observation was cut short when he towered in front of you.

           "I’ll show you next time we meet, Y/N. I’m very appealing.“

           You snorted. "Well, I’ll be the judge of that.”

           He pouted and exited the cafe, visibly ticked off.

           "Y/N, your order’s ready!“

           Smiling to yourself proudly, you left the cafe in high spirits. You paused before heading to your car, to check that everything you ordered was in fact there.

           "One…two, three, four. Perfect.”

           Suddenly, someone passing by bumped into your shoulder without so much as an apology. You glanced up in time to see their profile briefly but they soon became part of the larger crowd heading to the bus stop nearby. You had a bit of a déjà vu in that moment… or was it that you knew that person? You blinked, trying to make out the figure in the crowd curiously. But your phone beeped a few times, bringing you back to reality. Hurriedly, you rushed to your car to make it to work on time.


           As was your usual, you celebrated the weekend with a stroll outside, if the weather permitted it. So today, you found yourself walking down Masquerade Boulevard, a popular place that your friends and co-workers usually frequented. But seeing it with your own eyes, it didn’t look any different than other streets.

           You stopped in front of the section that had “Burlesque Lounge” atop and you peered through the window to see if there was anyone inside. But it was empty.

           "Not open until much later, huh?“ You hummed as you read the times that hung at the entrance.

           Then your eyes wandered over a few doors down, it’s "Open” sign lighting up obnoxiously, catching your attention. Stepping back a bit, you read the name: Club Masquerade.

           "Club?“

           The name sounded familiar. You heard it being tossed around a few times at work, but you had never tuned into the conversation. What was this place?

           Your curiosity led you to push open the door where a bell echoed loudly, signaling your entrance. And immediately, you were greeted.

           "Hello welcome to Club Masquerade, where we make your fantasies come true! How can I help you today?”

           Your eyes widened as you came face-to-face with Mr. Park’s girlfriend. She looked just as surprised for a split second then she pressed her index finger over her lips, telling you to keep quiet.

           "Welcome.“ she grinned as she approached you. "Here.”

           You blinked as she handed you a rather flimsy black mask.

           "We give all first timers a complimentary mask. But most people design their own as a sort of symbol of individuality. It’s required that everyone here wear one to protect their identity and to create a safe space to be one’s self.“

           "Huh.” You were a bit stunned that you had stumbled into such an interesting place, and coincidentally, one where Mr. Park’s girlfriend worked. Obediently, you pulled the mask over your face.

           "Take a look around.“ she urged and you stepped forward, taking in the fantastic design of the venue.

           The outside didn’t do any justice to what was inside. It was almost a replica of a Renaissance hall. A beautiful chandelier, donned with sparkling diamonds, hung at the center. Your eyes wandered to the dark red velvety curtains further back where people were appearing and disappearing. The people, you noticed, were wearing uniquely designed masks. They varied in design, color, size, and shape. Some were simply designed with a few jewels while others had obnoxious feathers protruding from the top.

           "Here’s a pamphlet.” Mr. Park’s girlfriend handed you a brochure.

           "Make our fantasies come true?“ You read the catchphrase questioningly.

           "Mhm.” she giggled then pointed towards a group of men that were crowding around a table. “Those are our hosts. They specialize in different forms of fantasies. Of course everything is anonymous so you don’t have to worry about being recognized, and everyone knows the safe word.”

           You hummed, watching the group of guys surrounding one male in particular. As if seeing who you were staring at, she giggled.

           "The one with the gold mask on is our best Aggressor host.“

           "Aggressor?” You tilted your head curiously.

           "Someone who’s a bit more aggressive and experimental, for the more adventurous customers.“ she winked. "He’s one of the best we have. High in demand.”

           "I’ll show you all. I’ll get her to finish before my time’s up, like Red Mask used to!“ Gold mask stood up and slammed his hand onto the table.

           "Pfft. No one’s been able to do that. You think you can, kid?” Another one pulled him into a headlock playfully.

           "I can! I was close last time. And he taught me himself. Who better than me to follow in his footsteps?“ The man huffed and pried himself out of the headlock easily.

           "Oh boy.” the Receptionist chuckled.

           "I’ll take him.“ You pointed. "The arrogant one.”

           "Really?“ she blinked.

           Your interest was piqued. Was he just bluffing or was he truly knowledgeable? And what exactly were these "fantasies” they were advertising?

           "You said he was one of the best right? And he seems to think he’s the best, so I’m curious.“

           The Receptionist smiled, amused. "Nochu! Come here.”

           All the guys turned their heads at the sound of her commanding voice. Hurriedly, the man in the gold mask strutted over to where you two were.

           "Yes?“

           "This customer requested for the arrogant one.” she chimed.

           The man’s eyes locked towards yours immediately. “The arrogant one? You don’t even know me.”

           "Well, what you were claiming over there was a bit arrogant, don’t you think?“ You retorted.

           He grumbled.

           "Or was she lying about you being one of the best?” You taunted.

           He huffed and gripped at your wrist, roughly pulling you towards him, his face inches from yours. You stared at him, not backing down, because you wanted to test his nerve.

           "I can guarantee you; you’ll get the best service from me.“ he growled.

           You smirked and nodded. "Then I think we have a deal here.”

           Nochu seemed to be searching your eyes for something before he stepped away from you. “Put her down for my first session tomorrow.”

           "Will do, Nochu.“ The Receptionist’s lips curled up and she showed you her planner, pointing at the time slot. "Sessions can run from 30 minutes to an hour, according to your preference. Which would you like to start with?”

           You glanced at Nochu, eye-ing him up and down. He puffed out his chest and tilted his head up confidently.

           "How long do you think you’ll need to please me?“

           He looked appalled at your question while the Receptionist snickered. He approached you again, grabbing your waist and pulling you flush against him. Leaning over, he whispered into your ear.

           "I can please you in 5 minutes… but it seems I have a lot to teach you, so how about you try me for an hour and see if you can handle it?”

           He let go of you, still maintaining his threatening aura, which had you a bit taken aback if you were going to be perfectly honest. In just a few seconds, the man you thought you could tease, the man that was spouting out nonsense at the table, had changed into someone who sounded so authoritative. Seeing your astonishment, he smirked and turned to the Receptionist.

           "She wants me for an hour. We’re going to have lots of fun.“ he chuckled.

           The Receptionist nodded. "Very well. An hour it is then.”

           Nochu winked at you and tapped your cheek, “Prepare yourself.”

           Then before you could think of a witty comeback, he disappeared behind the veil, leaving you wondering about what exactly you had signed up for.


           "What’re you giggling about?“ Jimin raised an eyebrow as his girlfriend waltzed into her own apartment.

           "Something unexpected happened at the Club today.” the Receptionist kissed him on the cheek as he was cooking dinner.

           "What was it?“

           "Mmm…let’s just say your prodigy has a new interesting customer.” she grinned as she began stripping in the middle of the living room.

           "Geez, please don’t turn me on while I’m cooking.“ Jimin shut his eyes and turned away. "I’ll end up eating something else.”

           She giggled and tauntingly hugged him from behind, wearing just her lingerie. “Does seeing me naked still turn you on, my Red Mask?”

           Jimin huffed. “Of course it does. It’d be a problem if it didn’t.”

           She laughed as she unlatched herself and moseyed to her room. “Very true.”

           "Was the new customer hott?“

           "She’s beautiful, but a bit hard-headed.” She called out. “But that’s why it’s going to be fun for Jungkook. He’s only gotten obedient customers so this makes things a bit more interesting.”

           "Ah, I’m so proud of him. My prodigy.“ Jimin smiled fondly. "He’ll overcome this challenge, for sure.”

           "You know he’s trying to break your record.“ The Receptionist came back and sat at the table.

           "Which record?” Jimin snorted. “I’ve had many in my time at Club Masquerade.”

           She rolled her eyes. “You two are peas in a pod. You and Jungkook.”

           "Even if he beats me, I’ll always be able to claim that I did those things first.“

           "Is that why you refused to hand over your red mask?” She snorted.

           "It’s mine!“ Jimin argued. "He could’ve gotten his own red one. That mask is like a part of me.”

           Receptionist rolled her eyes, “I gave him my gold one and he redesigned it.”

           "But that was our memory!“ Jimin whined.

           "Why are you always a brat?” she retorted. “It’s just a mask, and unless you want me going back to those fancy balls, I don’t need it anymore.”

           Jimin paused and walked over to kiss her. “You’re right. You should’ve thrown that mask out ages ago. You don’t ever and should never wear it ever again.”

           She smirked, “I thought so.”

           "How did you get him to take your gold one? He was super adamant about being the next 'Red Mask’.“

           She chuckled, "I told him that that gold mask seduced two hott guys in one fell swoop; one of them being you. That it was far more powerful than your red mask because I seduced you with it. I was passing him the power to surpass you, and he was immediately taken.”

           "What bullshit.“ he snorted.

           "It wasn’t completely bullshit.” She hummed. “You did fall for me when I was wearing that.”

           "I’ll give you that.“ Jimin turned off the stove. "But it was your skill that got me, not that mask.”

           "But now he has his own title.“ She got up to set up the table for them.

           "What is it?”

           "The Golden Host.“ She smiled.

           "Damn.” Jimin hissed. “That’s hella cool. Why didn’t I think of that?”

           "Cause you were so intent on having red because it’s seductive.“ She emphasized.

           "Well it was!” he argued.

           "Just let Jungkook be, babe.“ She laughed. "You created your legacy, so now let him create his.”

           Jimin sighed. “I know, I know. Ugh, this is probably how a parent feels when their kids achieve something they couldn’t.”

           "He hasn’t surpassed you yet. Stop being bitter.“

           "Oh, but he will.” Jimin sat down, placing a plate in front of both of them. “I had to learn everything on my own. I gave him everything on a silver platter. All my rules, all my tricks, everything. I saved him years of experimenting.”

           She grabbed his hand warmly. “But nothing beats the original. He may know what you know, but applying it is different.”

           Jimin smiled thankfully and squeezed her hand in return. “You’re right.”

           "Let’s eat?“

           The two of them began scarfing down their dinner hungrily.

           "Who was the new customer?” Jimin asked after a few bites.

           "Rule #2, sweetie.“ She smirked.

           Jimin sighed. "Stop using that rule on me.”

           "Rule #2: Even if you know the customer’s identity, you can’t ever reveal them. Maintain secrecy.“ She recited.

           "But I’m your boyfriend!” he whined.

           "I protect my customers.“ she grinned cheekily while Jimin huffed. "I’m the Receptionist after all. The keeper of all secrets.”


           In the meanwhile, you had gone out and bought yourself your own sturdier black mask. Usually you would just read a book or watch TV once you got home, but today, you were humming a song to yourself as you designed your mask. You didn’t want it to be over the top, but you also didn’t want it to be plain. After a few hours of contemplation and sketching, you finally decided to throw in a small amount of jewels around the eyes. But the main feature of your mask would be the wing design you were going to attach. You had always had a certain fascination with wings, angel wings to be specific. It was mysterious, unique, symbolic, and elegant, very much like how you wanted to portray yourself. And no one you had seen today at Club Masquerade had such a mask, meaning you would be recognizable and individual. You wanted the wings to become your trademark.  

           You grinned to yourself as you placed the finished product by your bedside, letting it dry. A new learning experience awaited you tomorrow, and you were absolutely thrilled. What exactly did this Club Masquerade and this Nochu have in store for you? You couldn’t wait to find out.


           "Oh shit. Come on.“ Jungkook groaned as he and his partner pulled up at the scene of the accident.

           "Man, our last leg of the shift and we get called in to handle the big accident.” His partner exhaled. “Well, let’s go. The sooner we tackle this, the faster we get to go home for the day.”

           Jungkook exhaled as he glanced at his watch. “Right. Let’s get this cleaned up and settled quickly. I have somewhere to be.”


           In the meanwhile, you had come a few minutes early, not sure whether there was such an etiquette at this type of club, but you figured it wouldn’t hurt to be prompt.

           "Nochu’s not in yet, but let me take you to his usual 'starter’ room.“ Mr. Park’s girlfriend smiled at you apologetically. "He comes from a different job…most of the hosts do, so sometimes —very, very rarely– but it does happen at times…they’re late.”

           "It’s alright.“ You bowed, knowing it wasn’t her fault, and things sometimes did happen beyond anyone’s control.

           "Sorry about this. You’ll definitely get your full hour of service.” she explained before she closed the door, leaving you in an empty room by yourself.

           You stared at the pillow fort that lay in the center of the room curiously.

           "Interesting…“


           "What do you mean you’re going to be late?” The Receptionist hissed. “This isn’t one of your regulars. She’s new!”

           "I’m sorry!“ Jungkook groaned. "I’m dying over here too, but there was a big accident that involved three cars so it’s taking awhile. I really want to show her that I’m not bluffing about my skills, but this shit happened and ugh.”

           "Officer Jeon.“ His partner called him.

           "I have to go. Reschedule her or something please.” He pleaded.

           "She paid for this session, Nochu…but I’ll see what I can do.“

           "You rock, Noona.”

           The Receptionist sighed and hung up. She opened up her planner to scan the schedule for the day, “What can I even do?”

            Suddenly, the front door opened, causing the bell to ring, and her head whipped up eagerly. Immediately, she beamed, relief washing over her.

           "Oh thank goodness you’re here! I need you to do me a BIG favor.“


           You patiently sat inside the pillow fort, which had a sort of canopy lining around it that served as a barrier from the outside world. It made the sea of pillows a bit more secluded, as if you were in your own world, in your bedroom, and not in some public host club.

           Suddenly, the doorknob turned and you perked up. Through the fabric, you saw the silhouette of a man coming in. Tall and lean. Your heart raced as he approached, knowing he was watching your outline just as much as you were observing his. He reached out and pulled the canopy apart slightly, entering as you two kept your eyes on each other. Your eyes traveled down his form knowingly.

           "You’re not the man I had requested.” You commented.

           The man chuckled and bowed, “Well, I can assure you my service will still be of high quality.”

           You hummed as you made room for him by pulling your legs back closer to you. Seeming to understand your closed off body language, he took a seat in front of you and waited for you to say something. You curiously stared at him for a few seconds before saying.

           "Enlighten me then. What exactly is the purpose and the intrigue of such a business as this?“

           The man grinned, "Well why don’t I show you first and then you can tell me if you’ve found an answer?”

           "Is it not something that can be answered with words?“ You questioned.

           "I don’t think words can ever replace experiences.” he replied.

           You smiled. “No, I suppose not.”

           "Then do I have your permission to please you?“ he shifted.

           You nodded, feeling the air thicken immediately at his words.

           "I have to ask.” he whispered as he reached out to touch your face. “This isn’t your first time doing this sort of intimate thing, right?”

           You shook your head. “It isn’t.”

           "Good.“ he traced your cheek, traveling down to your neck, and you felt yourself shiver immediately. "Mind telling me what you’re looking for here?”

           You glanced at his masked face. “Hopefully answers to many questions.”

           You caught his eyes twinkling expressively as he grinned. “Well then let’s hope my body answers some of them for you today.”

           Nodding, you scooted back into the fort of pillows, getting comfortable.

           "Relax.“ he whispered as his fingers continued to roam the outline of your body. "You’re tense.”

           "Sorry, being with a stranger is a bit…“ You tried to think of the word. ”…worrisome?“

           "How so?” he questioned as his hands found your hips, and you felt your body tingling at his mere touch there. Were your hips always so sensitive?

           "Well, I mean you probably see naked women a lot…so it’s a bit embarrassing? I don’t necessarily have the ideal body type.“

           He shook his head. "I think every person’s body is its own unique sculpture.”

           Then one of his hands cupped your face. “Is that the only thing you’re worrying about?”

           "Pretty much.“ You shrugged.

           "I can assure you that I find your body very attractive.”

           You grinned, enjoying the compliment that had spilled from his mouth. “Thanks.”

           He chuckled. “Are you carefree or just open-minded?”

           "Can I attest to being both?“ You smiled.

           His lips curled up. "I’ll go slowly.”

           You nodded as he leaned forward and pressed his lips onto the expanse of your neck. Gently at first, as if worried that you would shove him away and escape, then open-mouthed the next few times. His mouth traveled across your throat, up behind your ear, and your body responded to him by simply melting.

           Slowly, he urged you to lay down; your back hitting the softness of the pillows. You felt like you were enveloped by a cloud; all while feeling hints of paradise as he flicked his tongue out against your neck.You inhaled quickly as your heart lurched forward at the new sensation. He adjusted himself so that his body pressed against yours as he continued to suck on your skin.        Your first time had been hurried and clumsy, not at all like what was depicted in movies–the soft music playing in the background and the slow motion, picturesque love making. But whatever was happening now, with this masked man, you felt like it was close to what you envisioned this act to be– unhurried and breathtaking.

           His hands made sure to touch every part of your body, as if he was cherishing it, as if to let you know that every inch of you was loved. But that was crazy, how could someone you had just met make you feel this way?

           "Don’t think. Just let your body act.“ he breathed onto your skin as he pulled your shirt a little lower from your collar so he could kiss your chest. "You’ll find your answers faster.”

           "Will I?“ you mumbled, a bit more strained than you anticipated your voice to be.

           "Mhm.” he hummed, his lips still attached to your chest; the reverberations shooting through your entire being.

           Then his hand slipped underneath your shirt. Warmth spread throughout your stomach and his hand smoothed across it carefully. You felt your lower half heat up. He was so close to where you were starting to need friction.

           He shifted so that his face was in front of yours. You stared at him as you bit your lip to prevent yourself from panting or crying out, from acting on the way your body was shamefully reacting.

           "Can I kiss you?“ he questioned.

           You nodded, licking your lips a bit since your whole mouth had gone dry ever since he had initially approached you.

           He smiled warmly and captured your lips with his. They were soft and plush, and all you could focus on at that moment was the movement of your mouths against each other. Your mental strings slowly snapped one by one with each second that passed by. He kissed you senselessly until your body moved on its own, grinding up to meet his, surprising even yourself. He grinned as he bit down on your bottom lip.

           "That’s it. Something like this feels better when you just feel.” he hummed as his hand traveled upwards, lifting your shirt up as he cupped your bra.

           You kissed him more aggressively when he squeezed your breast in his large hand. Seeing that you were less tense and more responsive after a few more massages, he slid his hand underneath and you gasped instantaneously. He watched you, his eyes lidded as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. You moaned as you looked back at him pleadingly. You weren’t even sure what you were feeling. Did you want more? Was it awkward? Was it painful? Was it good?

           He brushed his thumb across the sensitive bud again and you sighed, closing your eyes. He was right. It was no use trying to analyze the emotion you were feeling because your body was reacting before your mind registered anything. You cleared your mind as you lunged forward, attacking his mouth with your lips. The way he kissed you served as the best distraction, the best way to calm down your thoughts. He seemed to understand because he welcomed your lips hungrily. And soon enough, his hand traveled lower, to your jeans. He squeezed your thighs and you spread your legs eagerly.

           He broke the kiss and stared at your face, wanting to see your reaction as his finger traced up your thigh and hovered over your core. You gulped as you observed his hand from afar, excitedly and anxiously all at once. Your chest heavily rose and fell as you panted.

           Then, one finger caressed up the center of your jeans and you felt your underwear dampen. Another stroke of his finger, then another as his pace quickened, rubbing you through your jeans. You groaned and threw your head back. The fact that he was watching you intently added to the thrill for some reason. He bit his lip as you moaned when he pressed his finger harder against you.

           His hand left and before you could wonder what happened, it found their way to unbutton your jeans. With a quick look at your expression, he pulled your pants down. You swallowed harshly as you watched him settle between your legs, his breath fanning across your clothed core.

           A thousand worries flitted across your mind in that moment, but they soon dispersed when he edged forward and pressed his lips into your center. You inhaled sharply and arched your back responsively. He kissed you again then flicked his tongue out, making your already damp underwear wetter. You clutched at the pillows that were within your reach, trying not to make any of the noises that were threatening to come out of you.

           "Be as loud as you want, baby. These walls are soundproof. And I sure don’t mind.“ he smiled before dipping his face into you again.

           You groaned and began heaving as he circled the tip of his tongue around. The fabric between you and your dripping core was completely soaked, but it made the sensation feel insanely more pleasurable.

           "Oh my goodness.” You exhaled as his hands glided up your thighs.

           You didn’t think you could be wrecked by a few simple moves. It was almost shameful that a stranger had unraveled you so easily. Was he just that knowledgeable? Was there a universal tactic that made all women go crazy? Or had you been in need of intimacy more than you thought?

           But you never did get to find out more in that point in time, because the buzzer you had come in with, started flashing and vibrating. The masked man unlatched himself from you and kindly handed you your jeans.

           "Sorry our time was so short.“ he apologized.

           You smiled and shook your head, your brain was a little fuzzy with all the sensations you had just experienced.  

           "It’s not your fault. Thank you for filling in.” You sat up.

           He grinned as he offered you his hand to help you stand. “Did I serve to answer some of your questions at least?”

           You chuckled, remembering the arrogant air in which you had greeted him. “I can certainly see the intrigue of this business much clearer now.”

           He bowed playfully. “Well, I shall escort you out when you’re ready.”

           "Oh. Sorry.“ You blushed and hurried to get into your pants, struggling because they were a bit tight. He steadied you by your shoulders so you could shimmy inside them with a shy smile. "Skinny jeans. Heh.”

           "Yeah, I try to avoid them. It’s hard to get around my thighs.“ he bantered.

           You giggled.

           "Shall we?” he gestured to the door and you nodded, letting him walk you out.

           "How did it go?“ the Receptionist greeted you brightly. "Sorry about the switch in host.”

           You shook your head. “Don’t be sorry.”

           Before the Receptionist could ask you anything else, the host interjected.

           "Well, I have to take my leave.“ The man bowed. "I’ll let you two speak freely.”

           "Wait!“ You called as he reached for the doorknob to exit.

           He turned to you questioningly.

           "What should I call you if I want to see you again?”

           He stared at you, a bit surprised that you verbalized the desire of having a second session with him so openly, considering he had just been a substitute to your original choice. But his face softened when he saw your sincerity, and he turned to face you fully.

           "Mon.“ he grinned, his eyes turning into small, crescents of appreciation. "Call me Mon.”

.

.

.

.

PART 2 

anonymous asked:

So, I'm really curious as to what kind of "Awkward Romantic Crap" Keith did during the first three weeks of dating Lance when they were "boyfriends-who-don't-know-how-to-be-boyfriends" XDD Could you maybe give some examples?

I could, but, really, isn’t stuff like that sometimes best left to the imagination? ;) … Right, who am I kidding? I’m a bit sleepy, so my apologies — I’m gonna just give ya one example of Keith being an awkward turtle of a person :)


Awkward Romantic Crap, The First

Keith adores Lance a stupid amount. He spent several months contemplating (between the denying and the repressing because feelings why?) the many ways he would kiss that loudmouth into silence, give him all the reasons as to why he was wanted and valuable, not allowing him the chance to doubt himself ever again, but now they were boyfriends and Keith … He just couldn’t find the words.

So he tried with this one romantic gesture — he tried to get Lance flowers. 

Lance had no allergies (Keith sacrificed his dignity to ask Hunk), the flowers were normal and totally not flesh-eating (Keith gave up a little more pride to ask Coran for where to get a bouquet), and flowers were a thing couples did (according to Shiro, and by this point Keith sort of wanted to live inside Red and never face the team again).

So the reason why this became Awkward Romantic Crap is because Keith just could not find the right time to give them to Lance. 

There had to be some kind of special boyfriend-sense he was lacking because it never felt right to just suddenly give Lance flowers. And he really didn’t want to do it in front of the others, and his private time with Lance was hard to come by and most of it they spent feeling out their relationship and having some truly humiliating (albeit necessary) talks about boundaries or whatever.

They bouquet stayed in his room for a week, the special space blooms starting to droop. 

Until Lance came into his room, rubbing the back of his neck, sheepishly asking if they could have a date-night on the observation deck couch … And going mute halfway through his question when he saw the flowers.

Silence for a few seconds. Then, “Uh, who’s brought you flowers? Wait, was it that chick with the Elvis hair? Keith, Keith did you bond with another mullet? Are you … Okay, I mean, no, I’m being dumb. You can get flowers from admirers, it’s fine. Just … you could have mentioned it? Do we have to talk about this kind of stuff too? Or am I being, like, possessive if I ask you to tell me? Oh god, am I a controlling boyfriend —”

Keith shut him up with a kiss (maybe this made his heart speed up in the most awesome ways, but that didn’t negate the strategic value for getting a word in when Lance was full-ramble.) And then, trying to keep the blush down and failing, he said quickly, “They’re for you. They were … I got them, a week back, and I just … I couldn’t figure out when to give them to you?”

“A week — were you hiding them whenever we were hanging out in here?”

Keith didn’t answer except to turn even redder.

Lance wasn’t a silly jackass all of the time (though Keith actually found that silly jackass behaviour kind of fun and/or sweet because he was doomed), so he didn’t mock Keith at all — he just smiled and said, “Uh, you can give them to me now, if you want?”

Instantly, Keith reached over to the vase, pulling the flowers out, a few navy blue petals falling as he all but thrust them into Lance’s chest, the stems dripping water. “These are for you.”

“And what’s the occasion?” Lance asked, pink blossoming along his cheeks, down his neck.

“Just … just that I … I’m good with us. Now. And … happy. Because of you. So, thanks. For your existence.”

Lance’s face was doing a thing — Keith couldn’t tell if he was fighting back laughter or tears, but then two arms wrapped around his shoulders, bringing him into a soft yet lingering kiss. Satin petals brushed against Keith’s face as Lance still gripped the bouquet tightly.

When they both pulled away, Lance was grinning and Keith didn’t feel so awkward anymore. 

Except when his boyfriend started speaking again … “Dude, would you have just let my flowers die before you grew a spine and gave them to their rightful owner? For shame, Red, for shame.” He dragged the bouquet into the limited space between them. “Look at my precious babies! Did you change the water? You’re supposed to change the water, Keith, you can’t just —”

Keith crushed the flowers between their chests in order to gain access to that irritating (delicious) mouth. Lance wailed about his flowers even as their lips met again. Keith let Lance go long enough to get the flowers some fresh water, watching him carefully tend to the blooms that were still intact.

And then Keith dragged him in for more kisses — he was always better with actions than words. Except flower-giving, apparently. But Keith had learned that he could do that kind of romantic crap, at least once. Better luck next time — he’d give them to Lance in front of everyone, come hell or high water, damn it.

(And maybe, at some point in the future, Keith finds a few dark blue flowers pressed between the pages of an old Altean book Allura had given Lance for his birthday. 

Keith will blush again, cringe at the memory, and then kiss his boyfriend stupid when he walks through his bedroom door because he truly adores Lance a stupid amount, and Lance always appreciates his awkwardness, sees his efforts as the most sincere gestures of love, and Keith can’t help but see any mockery that did come his way as endearing. 

So doomed.)


I am off to bed, and oh so tired, but hopefully this drabble makes some kind of sense. Hope you found it both awkward and enjoyable! ;D *hugs* Many thanks for asking!

The Summer Fling (Chapter One) - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “Boardy Barn”

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader/OFC

Author’s Note: You guys thought I was joking about writing something about me hating that Dylan smokes… never think that I am kidding (except, always assume that I am kidding…). This will be a short series. I’m imposing a limit on myself. Whatever. Don’t read it. It’s dumb. This will likely be the only Dylan shit I ever write. Okay byeeee.

Chapter One - Chapter Two 

Originally posted by alienlikealifestyle

“You okay, Dyl?”

“This is a lot of drunk people… this is just a lot of people in general, and I feel like some people have recognized me, an-“

“Dyl.. you wanted to come with me.”

“Well, I didn’t want to just sit at the house all day.”

“You’re going to be fine. You have sunglasses and a hat and some of this crap.” Julia rubbed her fingers against the stubble on his face in an aggressive, teasing sisterly way. “No one’s going to recognize you, why don’t we get you a drink so you can chill out.”

Dylan rolled his eyes, regardless of the fact that he knew his sister would not be able to see it behind his jet black Ray Ban sunglasses. He sighed and followed her through the throngs of sweaty and beer-soaked bodies towards the bar. He sidled up next to her and pressed his elbows against the bar.

That’s cool.” He said sarcastically, pursing his lips, as he removed his elbows from the beer-soaked counter, and peeled a sticky bottle cap off of his skin. His head whipped around when he heard someone say his older sister’s name excitedly.

Keep reading

All My Friends Are Heathens, Pt.6

Summary: In an alternate universe where monsters roam freely among humans, eight of these creatures group together under one roof. Their newest member, a dark vampire, comes to meet their reoccurring house guest who may be more than what she seems.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 4199
Genre: AU
Warnings: Mild language, sexual tension.
A/N: HEY IT’S BEEN MONTHS I KNOW BUT HERE WE ARE!! So remember how I lost the original 2000+ words I had written for Pt.5 before the file got corrupted? Well in this rewrite, I somehow doubled it so get comfy! Also, as a show of gratitude for your patience with me, I’ve been working really hard and I’ll be posting Pt.6 tomorrow and Pt.7 the day after! Three parts in three days, look at you! Just a heads up, Pt.8 will be the final update and then that’s it for this monster of a fic! I love you all so much and thank you for sticking around with me. ❤

P.S. I am such a little shit for extending the slow burn and I’m not even sorry about it…okay I’m really sorry, please don’t lynch me ILYOKAYBYE!

Click HERE for more character information

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Originally posted by taliesyne

Originally posted by hoaxvault

[ previously ]

“I’ll see you tomorrow, James,” you said, blushing at the way he smiled back. You paused to admire the way his lips still looked full and plump as he grinned and the way his long lashes fluttered against his cheeks.

Bucky passed his tongue over his fangs as he watched you walk away. Just one more day and he would have you again.

“I made a promise, didn’t I?”


[ The day of the full moon ]

You woke up in good spirits and the first thing you wanted to do was find Bucky. After showering and dressing yourself in a flattering, and somewhat revealing summer dress, you made your way towards Steve’s room to see the vampire. Since they switched rooms yesterday you wouldn’t actually be seeing the blonde man just yet but you reminded yourself to go check up on him later on. Today his migraines would be in full swing.

When you reached ‘Bucky’s’ door, you stopped to take a deep breath before knocking. As eager as you were, you were still a bit nervous. Several seconds passed and there was still no answer so you decided to open the door and walk slowly into the cold room. All monster’s burned a little hotter than humans so every bedroom was a few degrees lower than the rest of the household. Being that you always felt a little warmer yourself, you really didn’t mind the sudden temperature drop. You actually found that it soothed you just as much as it did the others. Maybe that was why you felt so exhilarated by Bucky’s touch.

That or his charm and pure sexual magnetism that pulled at you and left you wanting and aching for more. Who knew.

Your search went on for a few more minutes until you came to the disheartening conclusion that Bucky was definitely not in here. It wasn’t just that the bed was made and looked like it hadn’t been slept in at all, but the light as well. The early morning sun was shining so brightly that even you thought it was headache inducing. There was no way Bucky would stick around and be exposed to this so he must have gone.

You didn’t bother to hide your disappointment, jutting out your bottom lip and pouting as you shut the door and left. As you were walking back to your room, you bumped into something hard that caused you to lose your balance. You shrieked as you awkwardly tumbled down, hearing only a disgruntled “oof” and landing a few inches off of the floor.

“Y/N…” The strained voice of Clint Barton cut through the air. “Sweetie…for the love of God…move your knee,” he groaned before materializing beneath you with a pained expression on his face. You looked down the length of your bodies to see that your knee was pressing hard against his groin.

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed and pushed yourself off of him, moving to his side. “Holy shit, Clint I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

He rolled to his side, cupping himself and stuttering, “Mhm, uh-huh, ‘m fine. Just…just gimme a minute here, kiddo.” His voice was a little higher than usual.

Trying your best not to laugh, you rubbed his arm to comfort him. “To be fair here, you bumped into me. I can’t really avoid something I can’t see.” Still, you felt just a little bit guilty.

He continued to mumble and groan, waiting for the pain to pass and trying not to let tears fall. Then you noticed that the bags under his eyes were a little more pronounced than usual.

“Sweetie, when was the last time you slept?” you asked, knowing that your friend turned into a bit of a night owl during this time. He muttered an answer that you were less than happy with and sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you,” you started to nag him. “You can’t survive on just coffee and pizza. Even creatures need to sleep.”

“Y/N, we-”

“Don’t give me any of that “monster/human metabolisms are different” crap,” you cut him off. “I know all about it and there’s still a limit, Barton.”

The invisible man with the not-so-invisible pain finally laughed and moved to sit up, letting you help him. “Can’t get anything past you, huh Y/N?”

“You’re damn right,” you reaffirmed and helped him get to his feet. “Alright then, let’s get you to your room so you can sleep for the rest of the day. You’re going out tonight, yeah?” you asked and he replied with a nod, huffing out a harsh breath as he came to his feet.

He was still sore but his voice sounded a little more normal again. “There’s no point in arguing with you, is there?” he asked, knowing the answer even before you shook your head. “And you’re gonna lock me in there, aren’t you?” He smiled when you nodded this time.

“You’re a flight risk, Barton. If I don’t latch the cage, my little birdie will fly away,” you joked with him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

As you helped him hobble towards his bedroom, you felt a rush of cold air pass by, strong enough to lift your dress up. Startled by the sudden exposure, you turned abruptly to look for the source, forgetting that you were supporting most of Clint’s weight. But you remembered as soon as you heard him fall to the ground and curse in surprise.

“Shit! Sorry Clint!”


As the afternoon approached, you still hadn’t been able to find Bucky. You settled for the fact that it was still early in the day and he would show up eventually. For almost an hour you stayed with Clint to make sure that he actually fell asleep and then locked his door when you left. The elusive man couldn’t pass through walls so he was trapped in there until you set him free. Which is why it was a little unsettling that wherever you went, you felt as though you weren’t alone. That something unseen was following you around. Catching a glimpse only through your peripheral vision but as soon as you turned to look, there was nothing there. Thinking it would be best to tell Steve about it, you made your way down the first floor corridors to reach Bucky’s basement bedroom where Steve was resting. That’s when you heard two very distinct voices. It was Sam and Tony and they were arguing. Again. About something stupid…again. Being in no mood to deal with them, especially today, you tried to sneak past them.

“Hey Y/N!” Sam’s voice called out to you. “Come and settle this for us.”

You slumped your shoulders down in defeat and turned back to face them. You gave them both a hard look and raised your hands in surrender, hoping they would see how sincere you were with your inability to deal with their crap.

“Fellas, not today. I really don’t want to deal with your whining and complaining,” you said sternly before pointing at Tony. “I don’t want to hear about how you’re going to pluck out Sam’s feathers one by one or how you’re going to clip his wings because he’s annoying you and never shuts up. Just suck it up like the rest of us do!” Then you turned to Sam. “And I definitely don’t want to hear about how we should neuter Tony because the last thing you want is a pack of little Stark’s running around. Yeah, I know, even the thought of that terrifies me too.” You took turns looking them both in the eyes. “Please boys, let it go. And enough with the animal jokes, damn.”

Both men looked at each other then you and then back to each other, taking a moment before nodding in unison and silently agreeing to let it go. For now, at least. You swore that in that moment, the heavens parted and you could hear angels singing.

“Fine. So then where were you heading off to, babygirl?” Sam asked with a grin. The two of them started walking closer to you.

“I was just gonna go check on Stevie. See if he needs anything.”

“Is that why you were sneaking towards Barnes’ room?” Tony asked, staring you down suspiciously.

You rolled your eyes and simply answered, “That’s because Steve spent the night in there.”

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. “What, are the two old-timers having some kind of “best friends forever” sleepover or something?” You could practically hear the scoff that was itching to push through his throat. As much as he wouldn’t admit it, Sam was a little jealous now that Steve’s old chum had moved in.

Tony chimed in again, “Upset you weren’t invited, Wilson?”

“You’re the one that would never get invited, Stark,” Sam retaliated immediately.

Tony snorted derisively, trying to hide his own jealousy. “Who says I would want to join your super-secret boy band? Cause I don’t. I’m a lone wolf!”

Again, you rolled your eyes. That truce lasted all of two minutes but to be fair, it was a new record. You interjected before things could get too out of hand. “No, guys. Bucky was nice enough to switch rooms with Steve until his headaches pass. He’s actually really sweet and he cares about Stevie so give him a chance, okay?” you defended the absent vampire.

You could see that Tony still wasn’t buying it. “Yeah, cause that’s what you’d expect from the spawn of Dracula,” he chided, raising his hands to imitate air quotations as he repeated, “Sweet and caring.”

Holding back your annoyance towards the wolfman, you turned to address the birdman instead. “Sam, could you actually go check on Steve for me? There’s something I need to talk to Tony about. Tell him I’ll come around later to see him.”

“Yeah, I can do that,” he said, ruffling your hair affectionately and smiling when you pouted. Sam stuck his thumb out towards Tony as he backed away. “But you might wanna put a shock collar on Stark tonight, Y/N. Just in case he gets a little too close to your undead boytoy.” He mimicked being electrocuted and laughed wholeheartedly before continuing to walk away.

“Go lay an egg, Wilson!” Tony bellowed after him.

“Bad dog! Don’t make me get the spray bottle!” Sam’s laugh echoed down the hall.

“Smartass,” Tony grumbled before turning his full attention on you. “Seriously Y/N. I warned that pale bastard before you got here to keep his creepy hands off of you.” He held your chin between his thumb and index finger, turning your head from side to side. “I’ll rip his head off if he puts his mark on you.” Content to see that your skin was clear, Tony dropped his hand and sighed in relief.

Your cheeks flushed as you thought back to Bucky’s teeth breaking through your skin. Drinking from you from the exact spot that Tony had just inspected and found nothing. Bucky’s words from yesterday started to echo in your ears. Our little secret indeed.

Waving off the thoughts, you remembered what you wanted to talk to Tony about. “First of all, Bucky is not creepy so stop that. Second, you have other things to worry about.”

“What’re you talking about, kid?” he asked, clearly confused.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about, Tony. You better not come home tomorrow morning dragging back another devoured animal carcass that I’m left to clean up. I swear, I’ll shave you bald this time,” you warned, poking him hard on the chest.

Tony choked back incredulously. “Oh come on, Y/N! You know I can’t promise anything here. I have no control over it!” He tried to defend himself.

Thinking back to the last time you were home during the full moon, he remembered he had done exactly that. Managing to get blood and entrails all around the mansion but more specifically, right in front of your bedroom door. You were sure that your screams and curses could be heard from three towns over after you stepped in what you could only assume was a half-eaten sheep’s stomach. It ended up taking you a couple of hours to clean everything, mostly because you were trying not to get sick and add to the mess. When you eventually found Tony, he was rolling around on the lawn in the back still trying to recover from his feast. Vision was already scolding him for making his clean kitchen tiles all filthy too. Once Tony was lucid enough to remember what he did, he started to use his trademark charm on you. Trying to convince you that it was his lycanthrope way of giving you a gift because he cares about you so much. Sweet concept but you were adamant that you wanted it returned and exchanged for a soul-cleansing shower and new pair of bunny slippers.

Tony nudged your shoulder affectionately with his after replaying the memory. “Hey, you forgave me for that remember. Besides, you said you’re enjoying this vegan lifestyle, right? You have me to thank for that!” He raised his eyebrows, clapped his hands together, and gave you a big smile.

You pursed your lips to keep from smiling back. “That’s not the point, mister.” You looked at him, pleading softly with your best impression of puppy-dog eyes that you knew he couldn’t resist. “Please Tony, just try. For me?”

He groaned and his head fall back. “You’re killing me here, kiddo. Alright alright, I’ll try.” He looked to you again. “But will you still love me if I accidentally bring back some leftovers?” he asked hopefully, raising one eyebrow and nipping at his bottom lip.

You looked into his big brown eyes and nodded. “Of course I’ll still love you, Tony.” You leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly before turning to leave. “But if you do end up bringing back a treat…” you grinned over your shoulder as you walked away. “…you’re going to spend an entire day with Bucky and you have to be nice to him.”

“No way in hell!” he exclaimed in the distance. “I’ll take my chances with the shock collar!”

Your laughter was cut short when you gasped in surprise. There was a strange stinging sensation on your backside, like someone had just spanked you. You spun on your heels to see if maybe Tony had followed and was messing around but you were completely alone in the corridor. You turned again when you felt something else on your thigh, just under the hem of your dress. A kiss?


Hours later, the sun was hanging lower in the sky and you were really starting to feel frustrated. There was still no sign of Bucky and the increase of weird incidents was not helping with putting your mind at ease. Full moons were always a little more strange now that you were usually surrounded by creatures but this was unprecedented, and a little inappropriate. Like your dress straps slipping off your shoulders repeatedly and almost exposing your chest or the fleeting touches that would leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Jolts of pleasure that felt like they were tightening a coil in your stomach just a little more each time but then it would go away unfulfilled. You suspected Bucky but whenever you would call out to him, you were met with only silence. If it was him, he was doing his best to tease and torment you, and annoying as it was, it was working.

In an attempt to distract yourself from your sexual frustration, you stayed in the library and tried to immerse your mind in a good book. Of course, it was completely futile. After reading the same paragraph for the fourth time, a thought crossed your mind that made you jump from your seat. The time had just passed for when Bucky would be down in the kitchen so he could take his supplements. When you got there, you saw that only Vision was in the room standing by the stove and stirring a small pot. Feeling slightly dejected, you walked in and leaned against the counter top, resting your head in your hands.

“Y/N, is everything alright?” Vision asked looking up from his task and at you. “I sense that your mood has decreased dramatically since entering the room. Are you in need of comfort? Have I upset you in any way?” He didn’t have eyebrows but you were sure they would be knitted curiously right about now if he did.

Faking a smile as best you could, you tried to reassure him. “No no, it’s not you, Viz. Don’t worry about it, I’m fine.”

He turned his attention back to the stove. “I can sense that you are not being honest with me,” he paused and thought for a moment. “But you also have no desire to discuss it further so I shall let it pass.”

This time, your smile was genuine. Out of all of your monster friends, Vision was the least protective and yet, somehow, the most understanding. He didn’t necessarily experience emotions but he was still programmed to be kind and caring. The synthetic man was the newest member of the household before Bucky came along. Tony and another monster, who had since disappeared, created Vision by accident almost a year ago. He was still very much in his infancy but he possessed a staggering intellect and in order to maintain his software, he would power down during the full moon and update his systems. Knowing that he still couldn’t comprehend the dynamics of human/creature relationships, you didn’t have to worry about him being upfront with him.

“Hey Vision, have you seen Bucky at all today?” you asked hopefully.

“No, I haven’t. It would appear as though Mr. Barnes has been absent for the majority of the day. Or has at least managed to elude my attention.” He continued to stir the pot and read from his European Cuisine cookbook. “I had taken the liberty to deliver his supplements to his bed chambers but instead found only a highly discontent Steve Rogers.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling your frustration build again. “Yeah, they switched rooms. Steve’s headaches and all.”

“I know, that is why I offered to prepare a soup for Mr. Rogers that will aid in his recovery.” He removed the pot from the stove and poured it into a bowl. “Will you be needing anything before I rest for the night, Y/N?”

You shook your head and helped him prepare a tray. “No thanks, Viz. And I can take this to Steve for you, I wanted to go check on him anyways.” You were hoping to ask him if he knew where his best friend was or if maybe a frisky ghost had moved while you were gone.

Vision bowed his head in thanks and said, “Have a good night, Y/N,” before leaving you alone in the kitchen.

Just as you were about to pick up the prepared tray, you started to feel warm. Really warm. An intense heat started to build inside of you, burning hot in your belly and making you gasp for air. Your hands reached out to grip the edge of the counter top when it passed through your lower half, almost making your knees buckle. The desire to rub your thighs together to alleviate the aching need for friction made your cheeks flush. And then it faded away just as suddenly as it started. The only reminder being the heavy beating of your heart and the wetness gathering between your legs. If this was Bucky, you swore he was going to be in so much trouble when you found him.


Nightfall. The clouds parted to reveal the stunningly bright and full orb that triggered a change in every monster. You could hear Tony howling in the distance; the beast within was in full control now as he ran wildly through the forests to hunt down his prey. Sam had changed at the same time, mutating into the form of his giant-feathered counterpart. He was probably somewhere over the Atlantic by now; his majestic and enormous wings could carry him to Europe and back before daybreak. Vision went into hibernation mode long before the sun had set and was now out of commission for the rest of the night. Clint was freed from his room hours ago and now he was…well, who the hell knew where he was, the man was invisible after all.

Steve assured you that he would stay barricaded in the dark sanctity of Bucky’s bedroom since the harsh effects of his migraines were still causing him grief. When you brought him his meal earlier, you casually asked if Bucky had come to see him, careful not to mention that you noticed his absence all day. That’s when he told you that his friend left earlier that day to feed on whoever took his fancy. That he struggled more to maintain his appetite during the full moon and he needed to find a mate to relieve his desires. At first you didn’t believe a word he said. Bucky wasn’t like that. This had to just be Steve’s typical over-protectiveness trying to keep you away from the ‘vampire threat’ and you were not amused. But then you thought that Steve had never lied to you before so who knows what to believe. By the end of your visit, you became so disenchanted from his words that you forgot to mention anything about the strange things that happened to you throughout the day and if Bucky was really behind it all.

“Y/N, are you sure you don’t want to come out tonight?” Natasha’s voice cut through your neurotic thoughts, forcing you to shake your head clear.

“Yeah, I’m positive. I’m just not feeling it tonight. But you guys go and have a good time for me.”

You turned to see her donning her tight-fitted, black leather jacket over her slender shoulders, just as Wanda did the same. The two women always went out together during the full moon, claiming to see what kind of trouble they could stir up but you knew that their true intentions were far more virtuous. They would go out to bars and clubs so they could keep an eye on other creatures and make sure they didn’t prey on innocent humans. Just as she protected you and came to your aid all those years ago, Natasha continued to do the same for others, and Wanda was more than happy to join in the mission.

“Did you want us to stay with you, sweetie?” Wanda asked in her soft accented voice and took your hands in hers. “You’ve been home for a week and we’ve barely had a chance to hang out.”

You felt a tingling warmth in the palms of your hands and you knew she was trying to connect with you. Trying to read your mind and see if you were hiding anything from them. Thankfully you were aware of Wanda’s little tricks, the faint red wisps of her magic being a major clue, and you managed to focus your thoughts away from a certain vampire long enough for her to feel reassured. “Ladies, I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon so we still have plenty of time to hang out,” you said, trying to convince them as much as yourself. This whole ordeal with Bucky left you somewhat less than inclined to stick around but you didn’t want to think about that now.

“I still don’t like the idea of leaving you alone, Y/N,” Natasha admitted. A scowl pulled her features taut. “What about Barnes? Where’s he gone off to? I don’t trust that Fang.”

“Nat, don’t be rude,” you scolded her for using that term against him. “And you don’t need to worry about Bucky, he’s been gone all day and he probably won’t be coming back soon either.” Hiding the slight harshness in your voice was difficult but you pulled it off.

“He better not be draining the neighbors or any locals. If we have to move because of that bloodsucker, I’m going to tear his throat out. And I won’t be nice about it either.”

The venom in her tone made a shiver crawl up your spine. Natasha was less fond of relocating than she was of vampires and she absolutely hated them. Sirens and vampires were always butting heads, they were the two most effective predators after all. Whereas sirens were more strategic and stealthy when hunting, vampires showed more cunning and charm with their prey. Each one thought their kind was superior to the other and they often fought for dominance when they were forced to keep company.

Clint suddenly appeared beside the red-haired seductress, laughing nervously. “Alright, Nat, easy there. Let’s get going, yeah?” He usually tagged along with the ladies on these nights. As they would watch over others, he would be watching over them. Mostly Natasha though, just to make sure she didn’t tear anyone’s limbs off in public because they pissed her off…again.

After wishing them a good time and saying your goodbyes, you watched the remainder of your friends take off for the night. Leaving you alone and still thinking about where the hell Bucky could be.


<< previous :: next >>


TAG LIST IS CLOSED I’M SORRY 💔

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I had to remove any links that didn’t work, I’m sorry loves!!!

anonymous asked:

So Niall riding in the little kid car with Roman is giving me all of the feels. Imagine your kids getting one from Santa and Niall is putting it out, but he can't stop driving it around the house to help you with anything else.

“They see me rollin’…they hatin’….”

You took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of your nose.  Your husband was testing every limit of patience you possessed and having him belt out Chamillionaire lyrics was about to push you over the edge.

“Niall, I swear to God.”

You slumped down on the stack of boxes you were trying to sort through and pulled your hair off your sweaty neck.  Cleaning the garage had been Niall’s idea and yet he seemed more interested in goofing around with the kids’ toys than actually doing work.  So far in the hour since you’d put your son down for a nap Niall had only managed to have a slam dunk contest with himself on the Little Tikes basketball hoop and work on his chipping with a plastic golf club. Niall came around the corner cackling with glee, the motor in the mini Range Rover toy struggling under his weight. He smacked his gum loudly and waggled his eyebrows at you.  “Wanna fool around in me Range Rover petal?”

Keep reading

Friends With Benefits

HEY GUYS

so I got like 40 likes on the post suggesting I may do a Bucky Barnes friends with benefits type thing and so here is part one

My chapters are usually very long cos I love to talk and the same applies to my writing (my mouth gets a better work out than any other part of my body

Here is chapter one: Alcohol makes you new friends….sort of

Hope you all enjoy it ☺️


It was girls night in the tower which meant wine and gossip.

You loved girls night.

It meant moscato. You loved moscato.

Well, you just loved alcohol in general.

Tonight was Pepper, Natasha, Hope, Sharon, Darcy, Laura, Wanda and Maria.

This meant a good mix.

“Okay, but seriously, you can’t tell me you don’t just wanna take charge and tell him to hell with his stupid gentlemen-ly crap” Darcy said to Sharon.

“Believe me I do, but it’s nice y'know, the guy is patient, which is needed given how demanding my job can be” Sharon spilled, stunningly sober compared to the rest of them, but then again o was Natasha.

“I don’t understand how you can all be around superheroes all the time and not screw them all” you said incredibly tipsy and mouth now that the 3 bottles of wine had hit you.

“Because some of them are just stupid” Pepper said with a slight hiccough.

“Okay, besides Tony” you said.

“Aww, does Y/N have a crush on an Avenger?” Laura cooed slightly buzzed, but still in her motherly form.

“Um, yes. On like all of them” you admitted.

“Ooo who’s number one on the list?” Wanda asked.

You just looked at Sharon.

“Sorry” was all you said while everyone giggled.

“I totally get it, Cap looks good for his age” Darcy said bumping her hip with yours.

“Next?” Natasha smirked.

“T'Challa” you groaned. “He’s beautiful” you admitted.

“I need this list in order” Pepper said laughing.

“Cap, T'Challa, Thor, Bucky, Fandral seems charming as hell so him, Peter seems like you could laugh with him so he’s next, so yeah, Starlord after Fandral. Then Strange? He’s not too old. I cannot include the Kid, Tony or Rhodey cos age differences. And Vision is like a brother to me along with Sam, so yeah” you explained sipping more wine.

“Okay so the real question is, which one would you sleep with” Hope said pointing a finger at you. “Cap isn’t an option, Thor has Valkyrie, Peter’s got Gamora, Strange has a girl too, soooo, T'Challa, Bucky or Fandral?” Hope asked.

“T'Challa isn’t exactly an option either, he’s got a kingdom to run” Maria pointed out.

“Yes, Thank you Maria” you said wincing as you had a glass of Pinot Griggio instead of the Moscato, the slight difference in flavours clashing.

“Who has more stamina, a god or a supersoldier?” you asked seriously.

“God”
“Supersoldier”

Voices clashed together with different opinions.

“It has to be a god! I mean come on, they’re gods!” Pepper yelled.

“Cap’s a pretty decent match when he spars with Thor, and he’s way more built then Fandral” Natasha said.

“But Cap has the serum, I bet he can match a god any day” Hope said.

“But Bucky and Cap are slightly different super soldiers, so out of them, who’s better?” Darcy asked.

“They’re actually fairly similar” Sharon said in thought.

“Well I’d go with whoever’s got the best stamina, I need a few things before I’m satisfied” you said with a grimace.

“Woah, what does that mean?” Natasha said with a knowing glint.

“You know exactly what it means” you groaned. “When did guys become so bad at all things sex?” you asked no one in particular.

“When porn became reality for them” Darcy said.

“Idiots” you grumbled.

You all continued for a while not noticing that Bucky was in the room right next to the lounge, door closed, but super hearing working just fine.

Smiling and laughing quietly at the drunken antics going on next door until he heard what you had to say. Then he made his mind up about things.

“Ugh, 2am, I need to get home” Maria said. “Sharon, you can crash on my couch, I don’t wanna wake up in hangover mode alone” she mumbled.

One by one everyone left until it was you, Wanda and Natasha.

“I’m heading off to bed, last thing I need is Vis listing all the effects of alcohol and sleep deprivation tomorrow morning” she groaned before heading off to bed leaving just you and Natasha.

“I’m making you and Barnes happen” she smirked.

“You most certainly are not” you told her sternly.

“Oh I’ve already started” she said looking behind you at the tall figure which you didn’t notice being tipsy.

“You know it’ll happen” she called over her shoulder as she turned to head to her room.

“It will not happen” you said turning abruptly and smacking into something hard.

Groaning, you clutched your shoulder.

“Ugh, when was there a wall here?” you asked to yourself.

“There isn’t” a voice said.

Deep and Brooklyn.
Crap. Bucky.

“Right, hi Bucky, sorry for the walk in” you apologised.

“Not a problem” he said brushing it off. “What’s Romanoff so determined to not make happen exactly?” he asked feigning curiosity.

“Uh, something about me and fitness, not my forte” you stumbled over a useful excuse.

“I could help you out if you’d like?” he offered.

Well shit, you obviously didn’t think that one through. Course he’d offer to help.

“Oh, that’s okay, I’ll just stick to Yoga and Pilates” you laughed nervously.

“Yoga and Pilates huh? You must be pretty flexible, we could start out with something more suited to you, something that uses your flexibility, you’d probably be able to keep going for hours that way, we could really test out your limits that way” he said with some sort of undertone to his words that you were too drunk to place.

“Really, training with supersoldiers would not be a pretty sight” she said honestly.

“I’m sure we could find a work out that suits you” he said.

“I’m good, promise. I am gonna go to bed” you said quickly moving to get around him.

But you, with your marvelous fortune, decided to showcase just how truly drunk you were, in your heels of all things and would’ve unintentionally nearly dived into the floor if it weren’t for Bucky catching you.

“Woah, you’ve had a bit much to drink” he chuckled holding you up by your biceps.

“Apparently so” you said enthusiastically. “I’m gonna go to bed Bucky Barnes” you told him in a very matter-of-fact tone.

But before you could move he simply scooped you up in his arms.

“Hey! I can walk you know” you berated him.

“I know you can, I see you do it almost every day, you’re just not as proficient when you’re drunk” he teased.

“I can still walk just fine” you said stubbornly like his last sentence was all a lie.

“Y'know, Romanoff wouldn’t of had to set us up doll” he smirked as your mouth gaped like a fish.

“What?” you tried playing dumb.

“You know what I’m talking about” he smiled at your apparent shyness. “You could knock on my door rain, hail or shine and I’d open it for you” he said making your heart race.

Perfect. Just fucking perfect.

“That’s really not necessary Bucky” you smiled sheepishly.

“I know, I wouldn’t be doing it out of necessity” he murmured, his lips entirely too close to your ear making you tense slightly. Something he obviously noticed. “Am I making you nervous?” he asked innocently. “You seem kinda tense” he observed.

“No…” you said looking anywhere but him.

“I think that’s a lie sweetheart” he said in another teasing tone which would kill you.

“You think you know a lot don’t you?” you narrowed your eyes.

“I do” he smiled as he came to stop in front of your door.

Somehow managing to open it, he maneuvered into your room and put you down gently on your bed.

You moved to unclasp the necklace your high school best friend got you but once again, you were having no luck.

“Would you like some help?” Bucky asked, clearly amused.

“No” you grumbled attempting once more.

“Here” Bucky offered as you gave up.

Easily removing the necklace, he smiled.

“There.” he said. “It’s a pretty necklace” he said eyeing the pendant. A sapphire blue pendant that was wrapped in the silver of the necklace.

“Yeah, my friend got it for my 16th birthday” you said. “6 years later and I’m still wearing it, he got a matching ring” you said.

“Cute” he smiled.

“Thank you for helping me back to my room, I’m gonna go to sleep now” you said in an attempt to shoo him away from your socially awkward self.

“Can I steal another moment from you?” he asked.

“Why…?” you asked suspiciously.

“No particular reason” he hummed. “Except I think you should put a theory to test” he said.

“What theory?” you asked jumping slightly when he took your hand and starting rubbing circles into tops of your hand right hand.

“The theory that not all men are useless” Bucky said simply. “Some of us still know what to do and where to put things”

And here you are again. Gaping. Like a fish. Wonderful.

“Just think about it” he said getting up from your bed and heading to the door. “Goodnight Y/N” he smiled.

“Night” you said in a voice that magically came out higher in pitch than usual.

‘Screw you and your charm Barnes’ you though irritably.

“Oh and Y/N?” he said before shutting the door.

“Hmm?” you said looking up.

“I’m a super soldier, I’ve got pretty decent stamina” he smirked before making a quick exit.

“Oh Christ Almighty” you muttered before falling back into your bed.

Leaving a happy supersoldier walking away from your room whose supersoldier hearing picked up your groan of frustration.

Part 2: Spectacular 


TAG LIST:

@imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @reniescarlett @queenmiaxoxo21 @jellyzombie @theariel85 @koraline-basically @lamesister

@kesheena @bexboo616 @ballerinafairyprincess @buckyismyaesthetic @ladymelissastark @savebxrnes @irene-rogue-adler @crownie-sr @nootrishus @daredevilash @henicin @kimberlydylan

anonymous asked:

I know requests are closed but could you possible do a little blurb where y/n is Harry's current gf and she gets a little jealous that Carolina is about someone else and Harry's wondering why she doesn't like the song cause every time he asked her about it she shuts down and they fight and h gets mad cause y/n is "hindering his creativity" and they fight but then make up? Thanks love id really appreciate it

I hated that I’d become this person.  Jealousy was not in my repertoire.  I knew the deal when I’d started dating Harry Styles.  He was committed to his art.  He wrote about experiences he’d had which could range from things he’d done to people he’d hung out with.  I was lucky enough to become one of those experiences though he’d never written a song about it.

And maybe that’s where I was stuck.

We’d been dating for a year.  I resisted him at first, I didn’t want the spotlight that came with dating someone like him.  I’m not a girl who walks around in Gucci everywhere I go.  In fact, most weekends I look homeless while I run around LA in workout clothes and not a stitch of makeup.  But he’d persisted.  And he’d finally won me over.  A combination of his kindness and undeniable charm and I fell fast.  He told me daily that I was the one who inspired him.  I was his home.

But yet, he’d never written a song about me.

When he’d come home from Jamaica with new songs burning a hole in his pocket, I was almost as excited as he was to hear them.  We’d been apart for two months with limited communication at his request.  I understood, I didn’t get upset.  But I also wouldn’t say it had been easy.  Missing Harry, whether he was a thousand miles away or two miles away, was just part of my day now.  It went with the territory.

And I was blown away.  I was.  The songs were other worldly.  They were a perfect mix of every artist we listened to together.  They were Harry.  He gave me a little rundown of each song.  What had inspired him, what parts he’d written versus the parts other people had written, how the arrangement came about.  He knew I liked hearing about how the songs were built so he indulged me.  Just one more reason why I loved him so much.

He saved Carolina for last.  He said it was the song that got them out of their funk in the studio when they felt like everything they were coming up with was crap.  I liked it.  A lot.  It was fun and infectious and the kind of song I’d enjoy blasting while driving down the highway.

However, when he launched into the explanation for the song, my love for it dwindled until it was gone.

And that’s where I was stuck.

Keep reading

were-what-killed-the-dinosaurs  asked:

that driving/walking to school when its freezing prompt w evan/connor! evan's the driver and connor is super stubborn and refuses to get in the car but evan finally bribes him to. when connor gets in, evan starts driving and he's literally the slowest, most careful driver ever and connors like jfc dude stop driving 25 in a 30. at least fucking go 40! (bc connor drives like double the speed limit at all times). feel free to pick and choose what you want from this idea!

Full prompt: “I drive to school and you walk and I drive past you everyday and it’s below freezing and you’re still walking please just get in the damn car I’ll drive you” AU

Hmmm should we call this fic “the time that evan drives just like em”? Nah haha

Thank you so much for this prompt!! im assuming that you read the tags on the prompt au, which makes me really happy cause wow!!! someone actually read that stuff!!! thank you!!! i hope you enjoy!! And!! Im posting another version of this with connor driving and you can read it here !!

And i changed the prompt slightly, they are going home from school :)))))))))))

(side note i have a thing for connor cursing all of the time like every thought has a curse in it and im so sorry for this)

—-

It was fucking cold. Connor pulled his hoodie around himself tighter. It wasn’t providing much warmth. Walking the two miles home from school was usually a treacherous walk, but in the dead of winter it felt nearly impossible. It wasn’t snowing at the moment, but there was still grey slush that was currently seeping into Connor’s shoes. Fuck. It was cold. Connor could practically imagine Zoe driving in her car, warm and having fun. Fuck her. No, not really, but Connor would hold this grudge for hopefully the rest of his life.

Zoe deemed it more necessary to drive her girlfriend around and make out with her in some parking lot than to drive her own brother home. In the snow. Family was real important in the Murphy family.

A car that was way too close to the curb drove by, making even more slush spray all over Connor. How fucking perfect.

In short, this has not been a good day.

A car honked next to him, startling Connor out of his thoughts. A old Mazda sedan, the ugliest shade of green he had ever seen was pulling over. Connor gripped the sleeves of his hoodie tighter. Is this some rapist coming to kill me? Is this it?

The window rolled down, revealing the driver. Connor let out a sigh of relief- he wasn’t going to get raped and killed. It was Evan Hansen.

Evan leaned across his seat.

“You need a ride?” That was a dumb question. Here Connor was, soaked with slush, and freezing his ass off, and Evan comes and asks him if he needs a ride?

“Hell no.” Evan frowned, obviously not expecting that answer. Connor almost laughed at the comical look on Evan’s face.

“Why not? You look miserable out there.” Evan finally said, his voice sounding uncertain.

“That is very true, my friend.” Connor was angry at the world, and he was taking it out on Evan. The boy didn’t seem to have realized this yet.

“So-” Evan made the word much longer than it needed to be. “Why don’t you just get into the car? It’s much warmer in here.”

“Cause I don’t want too. Plus, you probably have crap music in there.” Connor did in fact want to get into the car, but he was stubborn. Part of him wanted Evan to force him into the car, because then Evan would have to get out of the car, and Evan had a cute butt.

So what? Connor thought that Evan was cute. Really cute.

Evan squinted his eyes at the taller boy, and it was then that Connor realized that he was inching closer and closer to the car, and he was standing right outside of the door at this point.

“What type of music do you like?” Connor had lost track of the conversation when he was thinking about Evan’s butt.

“What?” He responded stupidly.

“What type of music do you like? I might have some CD or something in here.” Evan leaned across the center console and opened up the compartment in front of the passenger seat. Connor wasn’t that surprised when nothing fell out- everything about the car was neat and tidy. Evan pulled out a CD carrier and held it out. “If you see something you like in there, get in the car.” Connor thought about it for a few moments. Evan’s arm shook from holding the heavy case with one hand. After a few painful seconds, Connor took the case.

Connor flipped through it, surprised by what he found. Alanis Morissette, Weezer, Nirvana, pretty much a bunch of 90s rock music. Exactly what he didn’t expect from Evan. Connor located one of his favorite Green Day albums and got in the car.  Evan smiled at Connor while Connor put his seatbelt on, and grabbed the CD carrier back.

“Who did you choose?”

“Green Day. Dookie.”

Evan silently put in the CD and started the car up again. They sat in silence while Evan pulled out of the side of the road. It took approximately ten seconds for Connor to get annoyed again.

“You drive like a old man.” He commented. Evan quickly looked at Connor, but then back at the road.

“What do you mean?”

“Evan, the speed limit is 30. You are going 15. Please, for the love of god, go faster.” Connor said, starting to bop his head to the music.

“How fast would you go in a situation like this?”

“Probably 45.” Connor responded confidently, enjoying the look of shock on Evan’s face.

“That is triple what I am going!” Evan cried out, slowing down even more. Thank god no one was behind them.

“You are right, my grandfather drives faster than you.” Evan glared at him.

“I am giving you a ride, but I am not afraid to shove you to the curve again.”

“That wouldn’t be necessary, Evan.” Connor said, grinning. “This is my house.” Evan stopped suddenly, jerking the car. Connor unbuckled his seat belt, leaned across the center console, and gave Evan a kiss on the cheek. “See you tomorrow at the end of school! Keep the CD in there!”

Connor jumped out of the car, laughing to himself as he saw Evan blush and fluster. As he walked towards his house, he heard Evan start to drive away at what seemed to be the slowest speed possible. Connor turned around and waved one last time before going into his house.

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #186 - The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: I think so.

Do I remember it: Better than I did the 1st one, which isn’t saying much.

Did I see it in theaters: No

Format: Blu-ray

I nominated the recap for the first Princess Diaries to @princessofsunnydale because she nominated it for my (Re)Watch so I thought I’d do the same for this post. Thanks!

1) I think it was a wildly smart decision to move the setting of this film from San Francisco to Mia’s often spoke of but rarely seen dominion of Genovia. It’s an organic next step to her story. We saw her learn how to be a princess in San Fran, now we see how she actually adapts to her home country (which is a lively character in its own right). The decision to jump ahead five years ahead instead of three (the number of years between releases) I think also is nice. Mia is more comfortable in the agency she gained in the first film, the relationship with her beau Michael is not hanging over her head, it just allows the film to not be dogged down by some plot points from the first film.

2) Sir Fat Louie? Did they knight him? Can you knight a cat?

3) I didn’t remember this line before I put in the movie but I do now.

Originally posted by say-hi-or-die

4) Shonda Rhimes co-authored the story AND wrote the screenplay? Huh.

Originally posted by iliveforscandal

(I don’t actually watch any Shonda Rhimes shows, now that I think about it.)

5) Chris Pine as Nicholas.

Originally posted by scarlettjo

There is a strong initial chemistry Pine has with lead actress Hathaway, allowing the audience to grow invested in their relationship quickly. Even/especially when they’re not getting long, you can just fell the sexual chemistry in the air between them. It’s fun, making the film stronger because of it.

Chris Pine on his own is as charismatic and interesting as ever. In lesser hands the character of Nicholas could be an even bigger jerk and while there are antagonistic qualities to him the audience UNDERSTANDS his motivations. He is trying to honor what he believes his dead father wanted, he believes he’s trying to do what’s best for Genovia. And when he sees he was mistaken, he tries to step aside. There’s a nice honesty to Pine’s performance. He doesn’t play Nicholas as an over the top mustache twirling villain. All in all, Pine does a fine job in this film and helps support it.

6) Except for one black guy, Genovia’s parliament is made up of all white guys saying they don’t want a woman to rule unless she has a man by her side.

Originally posted by mulder-scully-gifs

I think Queen Clarisse has the perfect response to that.

Originally posted by classyncguy

The law is severely sexist and antiquated. One of the members of parliament claims it should be respected because it is 300 years old. Saying a law is that old is not an effective argument for it as much as it is AGAINST it. 300 years ago in 2004 that’s 1704. That’s slavery, that’s a fundamental lack of women’s rights across most countries. Don’t use the fact a law is old to argue for it. Laws should evolve as the world does.

7) John Rhys Davies is a wonderful character actor who plays Nicholas’ uncle as a holier than thou elitist arrogant jerk. I love to hate him in this, but I might need to watch Lord of the Rings or Raiders of the Lost Ark next to balance out my feelings.

8) Hey guys. Remember that time Catwoman stomped on Captain Kirk’s foot in front of Gimli and Mary Poppins?

Originally posted by its-a-new-sound-track

I’m sure someone has made this joke before, but still.

9) The last film was largely about Clarisse putting her duty as queen aside to be Mia’s grandmother, a relationship which is as strong in this film as ever.

Clarisse [after Mia stomped on Nicholas’ foot]: “As a grandma I say right on.”

10) Like the first film, this movie’s biggest flaw is definitely pacing. Many scenes serve no purpose for the larger plot and instead distract from the main conflict. But - like with the first film - these scenes are also some of the most memorable. So…I’m not sure what to say then. I’m just going to move on.

11) I dig this.

Matarazzo is a continued treat in this film as she was in the first, stealing a number of scenes and infusing some quality humor into the plot. The way she mixes with Genovian life and culture can lead to some nice fish out of water observations, and Matarazzo plays the role with as much commitment and heart as she did in the first film. God bless Lily.

12) The bachelor selection scene is - by far - one of my favorite moments in the film. It is directly related to the plot and has an incredible amount of humor to it. Also, it’s not nearly as long as I remember.

For those of you who didn’t watch the clip above (or even if you did), here is my favorite moment from the scene.

(GIFs originally posted by @ezrajamessharkington​)

I mean it’s small, but I appreciate that both this film and its predecessor acknowledge the LGBTQIA+ community more than other Disney films did at the time.

13) Callum Blue as Andrew Jacoby.

Much like Michael from the first film, Andrew is able to be a good guy while avoiding the trope of Nice Guy™. There is a respect he has for Mia, an understanding and a fondness. They clearly have a connection and appreciate each other’s company, but it is clear that neither of them love each other. And Andrew does not force this on Mia. He’s pretty much at her service, ready to respect her wishes without being a total pushover. He’s a good guy, someone who could have easily been a jerk or a bully but the fact Mia could plausibly end up with him just ups the stakes.

14) The fan scene is a nice moment of chemistry between Hathaway and Andrews, which (much like in the preceding film) is one of the strongest elements of this movie.

Originally posted by paintedprintedpaper

this film one of those moments is when she is reduced to tears because John Rhys Davies spooked her horse and revealed that - SHOCKER - women actually prefer to not ride side saddle. I suppose it’s better that she’s too hard on herself than not hard enough though, as she will be queen.

16) Damn, Joe is a badass.

Mabrey: “Sir, you will find that the word ‘fear’ is not in my vocabulary.”

Joe: “Perhaps. But it’s in your eyes.”

Originally posted by pitch-perfect-movie

17) Hey look! The foot pop!

Originally posted by idontwannamissyouthisway

18) Okay, Nicholas is being creepy with Mia at the fountain. Yes, they kiss. But then she says no to him. Multiple times, too. Yet he keeps groping at her and chasing her around the fountain until they both fall in. And MIA’S in trouble?

Originally posted by emilysurvivesgradschool

19) The parade.

By far the strongest moment in the film. It shows off not only the agency Mia gained in the first film (she has the confidence to stop a parade), but also her incredible heart. She shows off such kindness and care for the people of Genovia, accepts her role as a leader, and is able to create a positive change through the sheer depth of her heart. Also, little Abigail Breslin is very cute.

20) Holy crap, Paul Williams is in this movie.

What is this movie?

21) The bridal slumber party is another scene which doesn’t really add to the plot and it goes a little long. BUT - again - it is wildly memorable. Especially seeing Julie Andrews surf on a mattress after giving a wink to her most iconic character.

Originally posted by stydixa

Originally posted by tripps42

22) Julie Andrews’ song.

Julie Andrews underwent surgery in 1997 to treat what she referred to as a muscular striation on her vocal cords. She emerged from the surgery with permanent damage that hurt her singing voice and gave a rasp to her speaking voice (for which she sued the hospital for malpractice two years later). Julie Andrews basically lost her singing voice. Her song “Your Crowning Glory” was the first time she sang on screen since the surgery. Although it was set in a limited range to accommodate her voice, she was reported to have nailed it on the first take and brought tears to the eyes of crew members on set. Raven Symoné - who duets with Andrews on the song - was so moved when she told she’d be singing with the legend that she too was reportedly brought to tears. If for no other reason, I am grateful this movie exists for all of that.

23) Nicholas is very ready to step aside and let Mia rule.

Nicholas [after his uncle notes all their work would be for nothing]: “It wouldn’t be nothing. Genovia would in good hands.”

I love that. I love that he’s true to his beliefs about doing what’s right for Genovia, NOT himself.

24) So there’s a slight bit of foreshadowing here.

Nicholas [at Mia’s window]: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel…”

Originally posted by missdeev

Chris Pine would later go on to play Cinderella’s Prince in the 2014 film adaptation of Into the Woods, which also featured the characters of Rapunzel and her prince.

25) I’m surprised Paolo’s back. I mean, Larry Miller is great. But didn’t he totally betray the trust of the royal family in the first film? And also, why is he suddenly kinda bad at styling Mia?

Originally posted by siizzy

26) Bless whoever made this

(I just found this on google. If this is your’s and you want credit let me know and I’ll be happy to give it.)

27) Um, guys…

What the heck is Stan Lee doing in The Princess Diaries 2? Is Mia going to join The Avengers? Is Genovia a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe? What is happening!?

All humor aside, as I understand it Stan Lee will cameo in any movie asked as long as he gets his standard fee. I think he wants to have the record for most cameos ever.

28) I dig it, Andrew.

Andrew [after Mia calls off the wedding]: “Uh…thank you. Thank you for saving me from doing the proper thing for once in my life.”

29) Much like the first film, it is Mia who must take her own fate in her hands. She’s the one who argues against the marriage law, she’s the one who convinces the people and parliament to strike it down (although the Prime Minister is again incredibly supportive and I love that). It’s her taking charge of her life, which I think is absolutely great.

Originally posted by baku-babe

30) I 100% forgot that part of this film ended with Clarisse and Joe getting married. I am very okay with that.

31) OH MY GOD YES! PARLIAMENT IS MORE DIVERSE AT THE END! THERE ARE SO MANY WOMEN AND EVEN WOMEN OF COLOR AND IT’S JUST BEAUTIFUL AND DIVERSE AND I NEED MORE OF IT! THANK YOU!

Originally posted by ultraselfdeprecatingnarcissist


Like the first film, The Princess Diaries 2 held up surprisingly better than I was expecting. Obviously it’s aimed at a younger audience than me but it was pretty enjoyable. Anne Hathaway is strong as ever, as is Julie Andrews, while Chris Pine is a welcome and fitting addition to the cast. The themes are nicely feminist as is the ending. Overall I just find it an enjoyable film worth the watch.

Keith unintentionally spies on Lance in the training room  … (Fifth and Final Part)

where the Blue Paladin is kicking ass. And Keith’s kind of mesmerized by it. Then he’s more than mesmerized — he’s freaking out because he’s actually kinda sorta into this brutally efficient soldier version of Lance.

(Part One Here) (Part Two Here) (Part Three Here) (Part Four Here)

Keith lets go of Lance’s hand, but only so he can wrap his arms around the Blue Paladin’s waist, reeling him in until there is no space between them. 

Lance’s anxious expression begins to shift — confused wariness takes its place, then he seems to soften into pleased surprise. His arms come up hesitatingly, embracing Keith lightly in return.

Keith knows the other boy is going to say something soon, so Keith speaks quickly, “Is this sign clear enough for you? And if it’s not, can I do something else to make it … clearer?”

This has gone from zero to light-speed, and Keith has no freaking clue what he’s doing, only that he’s tired of fighting himself, and if his impulses are leading him down this road, then he might as well as follow — those same instincts have saved his skin in battle time and time again, so why ignore them?

“What are you …” Lance’s voice cracks. He looks horrified by this for a split second, but he pushes on regardless. “What kind of thing could makes this any more obvious? You’re into me. Oh wow, I just said that out loud and it doesn’t sound real. Keith, seriously, for how long —”

“Literally for the amount of time it took you to beat my time in this sim, plus you stripping off your top armour, and, uh, maybe this is the wrong thing to say?” Keith recalls Lance’s burst of sincerity, the way he spoke about Keith with admiration colouring every word. “I swear it’s not just your looks —”

“Are you worrying about objectifying me?” Lance laughs. “Dude, be as into my looks as you want. Me being all badass and stuff — that works for you? Good, since when you pull off a crazy stunt in your Lion, or on the ground, I kinda want to make out with you immediately after.”

“Since when?” Keith demands. How long has Lance been wanting to kiss him? Why didn’t he say so sooner? Actually, forget that second point — if Lance hadn’t said anything about Keith’s weird sudden hand holding, Keith probably would have pretended nothing was happening and gone on with business as usual.

“Uh, I’m not going to disclose that information. But I did just tell you that I didn’t realize I wanted more than making out until … yesterday.” Lance’s face falls a little, and Keith feels the slice of the blade into his back again. He vaguely remembers the screams of his fellow Paladins, and he tries to pick out Lance’s in particular — a desperate, rasping cry.

But no, not now, it doesn’t matter — he’s healed, and he’s here, in Lance’s arms, and this is a pretty amazing turn of events even if they happened faster than he can comprehend.

He grins a bit, trying for a lighter tone to bring the smile back to Lance’s face. “Your exact words were ‘head over heels’ and doesn’t that … that means you —”

“Hey, remember when you said you wanted to make things clearer for me?” Lance asks, sounding bright again, and somehow he manages to press in even closer — if there had been an infinitesimal amount of air between their bodies, it’s gone now. Their noses are brushing when Lance murmurs, “Wanna maybe do that now?”

There’s a note of challenge in Lance’s tone, and if there’s one thing Keith has never been able to resist in Lance, it’s the way he challenges Keith.

And so he smiles sharply, which Lance probably can’t see since his eyes are directly in front of his, and nods. “Stop me if this isn’t what you mean.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure it’s —”

And Keith presses his lips to that loudmouth. 

His eyes fall shut after Lance’s lids flutter closed. The way Lance breathes out slightly through his nose, and then tilts his head so he can kiss more thoroughly — that breaks something in Keith. Specifically, the something that would have kept him silent about his newly discovered feelings. Keith’s arms tighten around Lance, and he decides to put his very limited kissing skills to the test as he parts his lips.

Lance makes a shocked little noise that Keith feels the vibration of, and then things get hazy.

All Keith knows is that somehow, Lance is against a wall now, his still-armoured legs are wrapped around Keith’s waist, and Keith is gripping his thighs to hold him up, and was this actually happening right now? What was his life even like before this? He hadn’t even known this was a possibility until two minutes ago.

Their mouths have barely parted except to gasp and then go back for more, and really, even though he’d banished the morbid thoughts from his brain (actually, most kinds of thinking were gone, away, on vacation, maybe never to return), he did have a fleeting impression of gratitude for not dying yesterday. Imagine never getting to have this thing that he hadn’t even known he’d wanted?

“Hm, Keith?” Lance breathes out when Keith has pulled away to inhale more deeply. “This is awesome, but, wow, uh, I’m sort of having trouble with reality right now. Could you just … say what you’re thinking so I know you’re not some weird fever dream brought on by hardcore training?”

“Can we train together next time?” Keith says instantly. “Running a few sims with you would be … cool. And we should totally come up with some programs together — we’d be unstoppable, with your sharpshooting skills, and then my melee —”

Lance dives in for another kiss — it’s almost ferocious, sucking the air from Keith’s lungs. When he retreats, Keith is left gaping, and Lance is grinning widely. “Yeah, that’s you all right. Wow, dude, your soldier brain is just never allowed to take a break, huh?”

“I wasn’t thinking anything until you asked me to talk,” Keith complains somewhat petulantly. “And why are we talking again?”

“You’re so right, except, no, wait —” Lance lets Keith interrupt him, but he ends the next round of kissing far too quickly, yanking his face back, nearly smashing his head into the wall. “Keith, I am so gross right now. My pores are screaming for relief, so let’s, ah, go our separate ways for cleaning purposes, and reconvene in the kitchen? Food would be good.”

“Right, you’re right,” Keith agrees hoarsely. He eases Lance’s legs back down to the floor.

They stare at each other for untold moments. It’s Lance who breaks the stalemate, reaching over to shove Keith gently. “Let’s say dinner in an hour. First date?”

He sounds and looks a touch anxious again, but his eyes are bright, his lips are painfully red, and he waggles his eyebrows with no shame whatsoever.

Keith walks over to where Lance had dropped his gloves, vambraces, and chest plate. When he hands them back to the Blue Paladin, who had been shuffling on his feet nervously, he says, “Okay. Sounds good.”

Lance’s relieved smile is making Keith feel more things. He lets that happen and it’s so easy, so ridiculously nice, that he sort of hates himself for being such a repressed jerk earlier, even if it was only briefly.

“Great, yes, okay, I’m … gonna go now. You, you don’t train. It’s only an hour. Take a shower, get my sweat off you … oh wow, that sounds … Crap. Okay, bye now, see you in the kitchen and please forget the last ten seconds, thanks.” Lance scurries off, but he still manages to get one last word in as he hits the door. He whips around and shoots Keith a confident little smirk. 

“Remember, you have my permission to be all about my looks on occasion. Such as while you shower?”

And then he’s gone. Keith stands there, and he doesn’t even attempt to reason out what the hell just happened. He doesn’t try to rewind time and pinpoint the exact moment when this all spiraled out of control.

Instead, he nods to himself, licking his lips and feeling a smile, soft and happy, form afterwards. And he decides that just maybe, as he heads to his room, this won’t be a total disaster.

And even if it is, it may be the best disaster Keith’s ever been a part of.

Author’s note: And done — sort of ;) I’m gonna add a small epilogue — but it won’t be here.

I’ll group all the parts together, plus the epilogue, as a one-shot, and post it on my AO3 some time soon, hopefully. 

Whether or not you join me there, many thanks to all of you that followed this story! *hugs*